CHAPTER 5

Pain. The first thing Edward had registered. His body ached all over. He felt hot, constricted, and heavy. Something was strapped tightly to his face. His entire body was covered in a swarthe of blankets. He felt a cooler breeze on his flesh arm. With all the energy he could muster he lifted his arm and pulled sheepishly at the mask. He couldn't muster the strength to get it off. He whimpered slightly and began to stir from discomfort.

"Fullmetal, stop that." A voice. A deep voice. Who was that? Ed couldn't make it out. His entire being was fuzzy and distant. He didn't even feel he had the power to open his eyes.

"Brother, you're alright. Don't move around." Another voice rang. That voice… Al… Al…! Ed suddenly found the strength in his body and with one swift movement, wretched himself into an upward sitting position, eyes flying open.

God he wished he didn't do that.

Nausea, pain and exhaustion hit him like a ton of bricks. He could faintly hear voices of concern. He was going to puke. His head swam. He could feel hands on him, gently pushing him onto the bed. His mind raced, the rocks they were crushing him. They were crushing him to death. He continued to wriggle, trying to save himself. His unbalance from the lack of automail caused him to tip over slightly. A hand quickly was bracing him upwards. He heard yelling but the voices were so muddled. The panic continued. His breathing became ragged and he felt so confined by the little mask he knew he had to rip it off. He clawed at it with his one hand.

"Fullmetal, please stop!"

"Brother! Ed!"

"Doctor!"

Commotion. Ed felt totally out of control. He couldn't see. It was so dark, it was so, so dark. He was suffocating.

"Brother, please!" That voice again.

"Breathe fullmetal!"

"We need to sedate him."

Ed continued to thrash, he ignored the fiery pain that erupted from his shoulder. His head throbbed. A sharp poke stung his shoulder stump. He felt himself sinking. His body relaxed as if on command. It was like he was moving through molasses. Everything was so slow. He couldn't even lift a finger. His consciousness was fading away. The voices grew further and further in the distance, until a harsh silence took him over.

Roy slumped down, sweat beading off of his forehead. Al was lying a now unconscious Ed down onto the bed and tucking him in. The doctor who had sedated him began assessing him for any damage. Al turned towards Roy.

"Are you okay Colonel?" Al asked. Roy gave a huff in response. He had dealt with panic from injured soldiers before, but somehow seeing Ed do it hit him differently. He felt panic rising within his own chest. Guilt was creeping up and wrapping itself around him like a snake, choking him.

"What happened to Ed?" Al asked the doctor in a small squeak. Roy wanted to laugh at how young he sounded, maybe under different circumstances, he would have.

"He had a panic attack. Common amongst people with head injuries. Probably the combination of pain meds and his concussion that caused it." The doctor explained.

"But brother has had panic attacks before… They weren't like this…" Al said. Roy was shocked. Fullmetal. The stubborn, bullheaded, strong as an ox fullmetal alchemist had panic attacks? Roy really shouldn't have been so surprised. After everything those boys had seen, any normal person would be messed up from that. However, Ed and Al weren't normal. They were far, far from it. Roy pinched the bridge of his nose and tried to regain his train of thought.

"I will lower the dosage of painkillers for the time being to see if that helps. Please get me when he wakes up again." He said, turning a small dial on the IV. He nodded to the two and swiftly exited the room. Al sighed and slumped onto the floor, giant gloved hands covered his face.

"You said Fullmetal had panic attacks before." Roy said inquisivetly. Al looked up towards the Colonel.

"I mean… Yeah… He has them every once and while. Usually from a nightmare." Al said quietly. Roy leaned his head back. He hated this. All of this. Ed was a child, Ed was supposed to be enjoying his youth, not thrusted into a war being commanded like a dog. He wasn't supposed to lose his limbs or carry the burden of getting his brother's body back. The two of the Elrics brothers were a tragic story, yet you'd never see it. You'd never know… But seeing Ed, so small on the cot before him, drove him mad.

"Colonel, you don't have to stay here. I can watch over brother. You look very tired." Al said kindly. Roy tensed, Al was always so concerned about others. He always was fretting over the wellbeing of others and was never selfish about his situation. Roy probably looked as bad as he felt. He hadn't even cleaned himself up from the mine. Dirt covered his clothes and hair. He could feel the circles under his eyes growing darker. He couldn't leave though. Not while Ed was so broken… Broken under his care. He's the one that did this. How dare he rest when he was responsible? He let out a hushed sigh.

"I'm alright. I want to be here if things get out of hand again." Roy said. Al looked to the floor.

"It's okay. I can handle Ed, I've gotten pretty good at it." He almost said with a laugh. Roy looked at the armored boy. Even though no expression was emitted, he could always feel what Als emotions were doing. He wanted to be alone.

"Alright. Please call the office if he wakes up. I will be back soon, okay?" Roy said, standing. He was shocked how wobbly his legs really were. Al nodded. Roy gathered up the small amount of his things and exited the room, taking one last glance at the small boy on the bed, feeling the guilt creep up his back and ring in his ears, he shut the door and walked home with a dull pang in his heart.