Disclaimer

I own nothing but what I write. All intellectual properties belong to their respective owners, that is Oomori Fujino owns Dungeon ni Deai o Motomeru no wa Machigatte Iru Darou and Fate Grand Order is owned by Delightworks and Sony.

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AN: This fic is purely humour based. Don't take this as a serious story as it's just for laughs and is a result of too many beers and too much free time. Its also based on my Fate Grand Order Deck but I only decided to use my top 50 servants but it should be enough for belly laughs and if all else fails Chaldea can always summon more if I need to use a character.

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Please read & review as I appreciate any comments made

Fate Grand Disorder

Chapter 01 - Abduction

It was finally over. After all the fighting, all the wars, all the singularities, Chaldea had finally won and had secured the fate of mankind. All that remained was for them to find a new home among the stars and start all over again. With the last of the Holy Grail's power, they wished for a new home that they could call their own and start afresh in. A shimmering of light was all they felt and they were transported to their new home. An exoplanet in some unknown corner of the universe with the conditions to sustain life.

As they orbited the planet they sent down a plethora of scouting drones and found to their utter amazement that the planet was capable of supporting life and in fact was teeming with life. Not just life, but human and humanoid life, with a modicum of civilization even. They needed more information about the planet and its inhabitants and so like all good scientists they needed to investigate more thoroughly and so began their plans and their grand adventure.

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Liliruca Arde, a small Pallum supporter was waiting by a fountain idly swinging her legs as she sat on the side hoping to meet an adventurer in need of her services when she felt the sting of wind rushing by her and a bright light beaming down upon her. She barely had a moment to look up before she slipped into unconsciousness.

Ryu Lion was busy emptying out the garbage out the back of the pub she worked at, the Hostess of Fertility when she noticed a strange beam of light strike her from above. She looked up as she was illuminated and that was all she could remember.

Bete Loga had just finished drinks at his favourite bar when he drunkenly stumbled back out onto the road. Ducking into a corner to spew up his guts he never did see the beam of light strike him and even if he did he would've chalked it up to his drunkenness.

Bell Cranel was walking home, weary, after a long day in the dungeon. He had only started his adventuring career but already it was taking its toll on his body. Tired and hungry, he barely noticed the wind pick up but he did notice the spotlight shining down on him from above. He looked up and that was all he remembered.

Ais Wallenstein was eating her Jagamarukun when she noticed the wind pick up and a bright beam of light strike her. Looking up she prepared to draw her weapon when she found her body unable to respond to her commands. Her mind sharpened as she tried to draw on all her strength to fight the unnatural hold on her. She felt herself lifted upwards towards the origin of the light. As she travelled higher she noticed the silhouette of a saucer above her and she felt drawn to the center of the underside of it. Once inside some sort of doors closed beneath her and she felt a sharp sting in her neck before she lost consciousness.

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Liliruca Arde blinked. She wasn't sure when but she must've fallen asleep for a bit and only just woken up. It was still night luckily so she continued sitting on the fountain waiting for any passing by adventurer needing a supporter for the dungeon.

Ryu Lion looked down at her empty hands and couldn't quite seem to remember what she was doing but shrugged her shoulders before walking back into the pub to get back to her work. Once inside she didn't expect the reception she received. A sobbing Syr Flover, a human co-worker of hers ran up to her and tackled her in a massive hug. "Where have you been? We were looking for you! We were so worried something happened to you!" Syr hollered out between sobs.

"I… I was just taking out the garbage." Ryu answered, puzzled.

"For three days?" came the reply from the large half dwarf owner of the pub, Mama Mia.

"Huh?" Ryu could only utter.

As Bete Loga rounded the last corner, he had a feeling something was wrong when the guards outside the Loki Familiar compound ushered him in quickly saying that Loki had wanted to see him urgently. As he entered the office of their captain Finn Deimne, he saw that the executives, the elf Riveria Ljos Alf, the dwarf Gareth Landrock and Loki herself were there and looking rather angry to boot. "Where the hell have you been?" the Pallum captain Finne angrily asked him.

"Chill Finne!" Bete put his hands behind his head as he casually explained to his captain. "I was just out having a few drinks." Looking up at the clock he noticed it was earlier than he had expected. "And it's not like I'm late for anything."

"You've been drinking for three days?" Loki raised an eyebrow to his reply, "You must've been really drunk."

"Three days? Wha.." Bete was stunned, "no I wasn't. I was only out for the night!"

Confusion flashed between the five of them as they processed what was being said. "Have you seen Ais?" Riveria asked Bete but he could only shake his head in response.

When Bell Cranel finally reached the small church he called home with his goddess Hestia he wearily pushed the door aside and yelled out, "Hi goddess Hestia! I'm home." Curiously, all of a sudden he no longer felt tired after all.

Shaking his head he was crash tackled to the sofa by a sobbing Hestia as she attempted to imprint herself into his chest. "Where have you been? I've been so worried about you!" She began pounding on his chest with her tiny fists all the while wailing, "I thought you left me for some other tart!"

Patting her head, Bell sought to soothe her, "I wouldn't do that Goddess, I was just in the dungeon." Bell calmly answered.

"For three days!" Hestia just about yelled at him.

"What? No. I wasn't even gone for the day." Bell replied confusedly.

Ais Wallenstein was lost in her own thoughts when she finally entered the office of Finne and was confronted by the executive committee of the Loki familia, plus Loki herself and Bete Logan, a fellow familia member of hers. She was instantly grappled by a teary eyed Loki as Finne asked the question, "Where have you been for the last three days?"

Ais looked at everyone slowly with her unreadable expression on as she thought about it for a second before responding, "I was abducted by aliens."

Anyone else would've laughed at the idea, even ridiculed it, but all those in the room knew Ais was not one for jokes and Loki knew through her divine powers that Ais was telling the truth, or at least the truth as how she knew it.

Just like that Orario had its first-ever documented case of alien UFO abduction in its long history.