Hi Ladies, I'm back :-) I know it's been a really long time, but I kind of had a hard time getting back into writing and then decided to wait until I had a story complete before I would post it. Well, that didn't work because I started about ten stories and haven't finished a single one as of now. So, I have decided to start posting this story. I have some more chapters ready and aim for weekly updates. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: All characters from FSOG belong to E. L. James

New York June 2015

"Bye Ana, have a great weekend." My assistant says as I'm about to leave my office.

"Thanks, you too, Paige."

"I wish, my boyfriend is out of town and all my girl friends already have plans, so now it's just me, Netflix and a huge pizza I'm going to regret eating the moment the first pimples show up on my face." Paige sighs.

"Oh wow, that sounds... tragic. How about this, I have planned a morning at an amazing day spa tomorrow morning, followed by brunch with some of my girls, some shopping, afterwards we want to cook dinner together and then go clubbing, you could join us." I offer, and she frowns.

"I don't know... I don't want to intrude."

"You didn't I offered... come on, we have known each other for five years now and never really had time to hang out since you are always somewhere with your man."

"Hmm... ok, I'm in." She says and I give her the address of the spa and give them a call on the way down to the garage to add Paige to my appointment. In the garage, I look at the new name plate that marks my parking spot. Anastasia Steele, Vice President of Howard, Everton and Steele Marketing.

It still feels unreal that me... little Ana Steele from Montesano Washington has made it to the top of one of New York's most renowned marketing companies. And I haven't just made it to the top, at the age of twenty-five I have become a partner in my company. Of course, I had to poker a bit to get there, but a strategic mention at a Christmas party last year in which I mentioned that I'm thinking about starting my own company, while Mr. Howard and Mr. Everton were within earshot made them bend over backwards to keep me, which resulted in them offering me to become a partner.

Manipulative? Maybe, but I know I'm the best at what I do. Otherwise, I wouldn't be where I am today after just four years with the company. To celebrate my partnership, I have gotten myself what some would call a very expensive toy and that is my black Tesla. I love this car but was always a bit apprehensive to spend that much money on a car but when I became a partner I made two very expensive purchases, one was my car and the other one was a new house for my parents.

Ray and Carla Steele are the best parents any girl could ever ask for. They have always believed in me and even used all of their savings, retirement fund and whatever else they had to pay for my college education at Princeton. So, it just felt right to buy them a nice, waterfront home in Seattle, which at first they insisted was too much, but I could already tell how much they loved it after seeing it once, so I insisted and now they are both so very happy there.

Leaving my work, I drive through Manhattan until I reach the Upper Westside, and The Ansonian, a beautiful historical building that houses my apartment. From the first time I saw this building, I knew that one day, that's where I want to live and finally 10 months ago there was the perfect opening for a three-bedroom apartment. I applied and by some random twist of fate got the apartment. The rent is insane, but I just love my home so much that it is well worth it to me.

Once inside my apartment, I take a Quinoa salad from my favorite deli and a bottle of red wine from the fridge and smile when I see the note from my cleaning lady that she has left me a box of home-made cookies in the living room.

I enjoy a quiet night in and then around 11 pm decide to go to bed. So, I undress take a quick shower and look at myself in the mirror while applying some lotion.

It sometimes still seems unreal to me that this is really my life and that the girl staring back at me from the mirror is me. Truth be told there was a time in my life where I thought I would end up as an old cat lady, living in a shack in the woods somewhere. To say that I was a wallflower would be an understatement.

I was the ugly duckling but I never cared, not until other people started to care or to be more accurate the kids in my high school. They were horrible to me. I got pushed around on a daily and one day some of the bullies even thought it was funny to corner me in the hallway and everyone took turns slapping me and spitting at me until a teacher saw them and shut it down. High school was nothing short of hell for me and the only thought that kept me going was that if I could manage to keep my grades up I would get a scholarship to Harvard.

When that really happened I thought it would be the beginning of a new life. That I could leave all the bullies and everything else behind, be a new person and maybe even find friends. However, I had to learn the hard way that just because High School is over the bullies suddenly turn into nice kids... they just hide it better and make their attacks so much more painful.

I still can't allow myself to even think of what happened to me. The memories are just too painful. What I do remember is the aftermath...

Harvard - Thayer Hall 2008

Running down the hallway I finally reach my room and sink to the floor sobbing uncontrollably... I need to leave, I can't be here anymore... I can't even stay in this room anymore. She will be back soon too, so I grab my phone and call my dad.

"Annie, what is wrong... why are you crying, pumpkin?" My dad asks me.

"I... Dad I made a horrible mistake... please I want to come home, I can't stay here... please can I come home?" I sob.

"Annie, I need you to take a deep breath and tell me what happened."

"I... I thought ... they were my friends... but they just... just... please I don't want to say it... I can't stay here dad... please I can't stay here." I cry.

"Alright... look, I will take the next flight and come to see you until then I need you to sleep and tomorrow we'll talk about what happened. You can't just quit college Ana."

"Please... I can't stay here... not even for one more night... everyone saw... I can't." I sob desperate and suddenly there is a knock at the door.

"Ana, please open the door... please I'm so sorry... I swear I had no idea... please open the door." I hear the voice of the boy I thought was my boyfriend.

"Go away!" I call out.

"Annie who is there."

"I'm coming home, Daddy... don't come here." I say and hang up. I grab my duffle bag and start to pack everything I can fit in it and in my backpack before I open the door.

"Ana... wait, what are you doing."

"Leaving." I whisper without looking at him.

"No... come on, I'll deal with it..."

"How?! Everyone saw it... even the professors... there is nothing you can do... I... I trusted you... how could you..."

"It wasn't my idea... it was supposed to be a joke... but then I told them I'm out..."

"A joke? That's not a joke... it's my life... but then again, I guess I was a joke to all of you right... were you bored and I became some sort of sick and twisted challenge for you and your friends?" I ask and all I am greeted with is silence.

"I take that at as yes. Goodbye."

"No wait... it was real, Ana... I didn't know I would fall in love with you."

"Really Christian? Go and tell your lies to someone stupid enough to believe them." I murmur and start to walk past him, but he grabs my wrist.

"No, don't touch me! Don't you ever touch me again!" I yell at him yank my arm free and run out of the dorm.

When I came home I told my parents everything that happened and my dad insisted on talking to the dean, but even he thought it would be best for me if I left since this wasn't a scandal that would have been easily forgotten. But, he gave me a letter that opened a door for me to study at Princeton, where in my first year I met my best friend Kate who helped me not just overcome my trust issues, but also helped me transform into the confident young woman I am today.

- Present Time -

I smile thinking of Kate. She was my roommate all through college, and we even moved to New York together after we both had managed to find a job here. She works for the New York Times but is on maternity leave now, since she had a beautiful little boy by the name of James just two weeks ago. She fell in love with her husband Carter a year after we've moved to New York and another year later she was married. I'm so happy for her, but it also is a reminder for me that while my career is thriving my love life is a disaster.

I have dated guys who pretended to be super successful and hard-working only to find out they are unemployed and living with their parents, guys who cheated, a serious narcissist and my absolute favorite a guy who was actually married and never told me until one afternoon we were having some ice cream after a long stroll in Central Park when a woman approached us, slapped the shit out of him and started to cuss at me. Turns out the woman was not just his wife but also the mother of his four kids. At that point, I was so horrified that I profusely apologized to his wife, explained to her that I had no idea he was married and left not without telling him to never ever contact me again.

After that I have decided to go one year as single, because obviously my dating life had a pattern and that was that I would always pick guys who are wrong for me in one way or the other. I even went to therapy to figure this out and Dr. Holden thinks that I am self-manipulating by dismissing any guy who seems like a normal, nice guy because Christian was just that, a normal nice guy who hurt me so bad that even years later I can barely think and much less talk about him.

So, to protect myself from having to go through something like that, I pick men I know have something to hide or are simply fucked up, so I can prepare myself from the start that this isn't going anywhere.

The thing is, I want a nice guy... I want my white picket fence happily ever after with a bunch of kids, a great husband and maybe even a dog. I just don't know how to get there. So, for now, I'm enjoying my life as a single woman because I have kissed enough frogs and rather rely on my vibrator than to date some asshole who chances are is either boring or selfish in bed. Honestly, if I would write a book about some of the sexual encounters I have had in my adult life it would be a tragic comedy. It's not that I just had bad sex, but I had my fair share of guys who think they are great and turn out to be horrible. One guy took over thirty minutes to cum... and I'm not talking foreplay including... no, this fucker, pun intended, was going at it for thirty minutes at an insane pace... and I didn't even cum because at first, my head hit the headboard whenever I was close and then I was just over it and hoped he would finish soon because my pussy was over it too. Needless to say, I ended things the next day, but my absolute highlight in terms of weird sex encounters was a guy I had dated for three months, and he never even made a move, then one night we both got a bit drunk, and he just went for it... no foreplay nothing... at least he noticed that that wasn't the way to go but had his very own way of trying to get my pussy wet... because motherfucker took a sip of water at spat it at my ladyparts.

At least he knew he had to get it wet, but I still told him very politely that I'm not in the mood and that I would appreciate it if he could lose my number on his way out. Well, at least Kate still gets a good laugh out of that story every time it somehow comes up on girls nights.

I guess, now it is very obvious that I'm not great at all when it comes to men... at one point I even considered trying to date girls but I know that I'm not a lesbian or bi-sexual so that wouldn't have been fair to anyone I might have met. I guess it's really true when they say you can't have it all.

To be honest though, I have a pretty great life. I have amazing parents, grandparents I adore, an aunt who is a bit crazy and always down to have a fun time, a small group of friends I can always count on and an amazing career I never thought I would have. So, most people would put me in the lucky pile and for most parts, I am a very happy person.

Even my looks have improved considerably. I finally got rid of my braces shortly after I left Harvard, thanks to Kate talking me into trying her daily nine steps skincare routine I no longer have any pimples or blemishes. Where I was stick thin before a regular workout and healthy diet, with some occasional cupcakes and cookies, have helped to give me some curves and a toned body. I no longer need glasses thanks to lasic surgery and regular visits to the hair salon have helped to get my formerly out of control hair in a well-groomed state.

Now, people think of me as attractive or maybe even beautiful and sometimes even I can see it. It took me a long time to get there and saying it out loud for the first time felt very strange but yes, I'm a beautiful young woman. So basically, I have everything going for me to find my Mr. Right. Sadly, the only thing that is keeping me from finding him or even give someone the chance to become my Mr. Right is me.

I guess, I'm just not there yet or maybe it's because deep down I know that a beautiful copper haired boy with stormy gray eyes was my Mr. Right only we met at the wrong time in our lives and I refuse to think about what could have been if we had met later in life because I know we would have made a beautiful couple. We were just too young and stupid... both barely 18 and where I was naive and helplessly fell for him, he was still in a phase where being cool in front of your friends was more important than anything else.

Or maybe I just want that to be the truth because it is easier to believe he let himself get pressured into hurting me than to believe that it was his idea. My therapist even told me to look Christian up and talk to him. To get closure, so I can move on... but I guess I'm a coward when it comes to that.

With a sigh, I slap all thoughts of Christian Grey into the back of my mind and go to bed.

The next day I have a girls day with my good friends Morgan, Libby, and Danika as well as my assistant Paige and in the evening we all had to a great cocktail bar to enjoy some drinks.

"Oh wow, look over there, that's Alec Whitmore, he is a famous baseball player and from what I heard one of the biggest sweethearts ever. I wonder why he hasn't been snatched." Morgan says.

"Probably secretly gay." I mutter and take a sip of my drink.

"Yeah yeah, Debbie Downer, can't you be Suzie Sunshine for a day? Every time there is a great guy you find some reason why he isn't." She says.

"Doesn't he live in your building, Ana." Danika wants to know.

"Yes, I have seen him a couple of times in the elevator." I tell them, and then he approaches and I feel the shutters of my walls come down, because I know this guy is the full package, rich, successful, friendly as hell and from one of my neighbors who dated him for a year I also know that he is marriage material... he is a possible Mr. Right and it scares me.

"Hi... Ana... right? Can I buy you a drink?"

"Nope, I'm good... sorry girls night." I say like the snarky bitch I usually turn into when a nice guy approaches me, and he lifts his hands as if to say don't shoot me and even apologizes for interrupting us before he leaves the table.

And that moment haunts me for the next five days until eventually on Friday afternoon I give up. I need to get over my issues with good guys and finally completely move on, but in order for me to do that, I need to get closure and I know there is only one person who can give me that. So, I take a deep breath and press the button for the speaker on my desk.

"Hey Ana, what do you need?" Paige's voice comes back through the speaker.

"I need you to contact the assistant of Christian Grey, CEO of Grey Enterprises Holdings in Seattle. Schedule a meeting with him for me, a Friday if possible, so I can spend the weekend with my parents."

"Ok, what is the meeting about, do we work with Grey Enterprises... because I can't find them in the list."

"No, we don't they have their own PR and marketing department. Just tell her assistant to ask her boss if he is willing to give me an hour of his time."

"Oh... ok, on it." She says and for the next ten minutes, I shift nervously in my chair and try anything to distract me until Paige comes into my office.

"Well, that was weird." She says and looks a bit confused.

"Weird?" I ask.

"Yes, I got a hold of her number from an assistant at their New York offices and when I called Miss Parker she was rather short with me and told me that Mr. Grey had no opening for new meetings for the next four months. So, I insisted she would ask him and I can tell she was not happy with me but promised to call me back after consulting her boss. She called back only two minutes later to confirm the meeting next Friday at 6:30 pm at Grey House. She even apologized that she couldn't schedule it in as lunch meeting. Oh and here." She says and hands me a sticky note.

"Her number?"

"No, that is Mr. Grey's private phone number. He wanted you to have it and Miss Parker insisted for me to tell you, that Mr. Grey would be happy for you to call him whenever you want to." She says and leaves my office while I stare at the number in my hand and in the end stuff it into my purse.

I guess this is really happening, I can not chicken out now... not after I took the first step... oh god... what have I done?

Let me know what you think :-)