As stated in my other fanfictions, I also found and will be add my own personal touches as well. Moreover, I will be fixing grammar, changing names, among other things. All original materials and rights still are owned by aquariusmind.

This fic is going to be snarky, and porny, and witty, and porny, and tad angsty and porny and...did I mention porny?

So if you blush at sex scenes, if you giggle awkwardly at dirty words, if you think whores are bad people... you might want to think twice about reading this, because if you proceed I take no liability in corrupting you...

Chapter 1: Old Friends

It had been a long menial day for Derek. He rubbed his tired eyes as he walked across the bridge, glancing out the large glass wall of the hospital and seeing a solid sheet of rain. He shook his head; he would be glad to get back home. One week in Seattle would be enough, and he'd only just arrived. He passed through a door to enter a private hallway; a man waved him a welcome from an office window. Happy to see him, overjoyed may be the more appropriate word.

"Ah, Derek." Richard awed "I can't tell you how thrilled you accepted my offer."

"Don't get ahead of yourself as usual Richard." Derek said "I only accepted your plea of help on this unusual case. I never said I was staying."

"Yes." Richard murmured, though his eyes fierce "Our neuro attending is quite confident that outside help won't be necessary. But since I know you personally, and you've done a few, I feel otherwise."

"Well cocky, overconfident neurosurgeons have a tendency of thinking too much of themselves."

"You would know." Richard narrowed his eyes.

"And I'm sure that you trying to persuade me into staying and joining your team is no part of this 'feeling' of yours?" Derek asked, Richard cleared his throat and shifted a little, "I will need to do a full evaluation as soon as possible."

"Yes, I'll try to get my neuro attending to give up enough of her time to meet with you."

"Not necessary Richard, I'm quite confident in my abilities of a consultation."

"I agree." Richard nodded "But my attending is well…. rather territorial of her patients."

"Well." Derek smirked "I can handle myself, I'm a big boy."

Richard mumbled something under his breath and then sighed "As you wish, feel free to wander around a little, get the feel for the place, and jump in."

"Again Richard." Derek rolled his eyes "I'm out of Seattle by week's end."

Richard ignored him as he walked out of the office and spurring from pure curiosity, he took Richard's advice to wander a little. He didn't see anything he really seemed satisfied with. He was quite happy in his Manhattan lifestyle, everyone minded their own business, he had a well-established practice. Though sometimes he missed the fast-paced hospital job, he was happy to have set hours, as was his girlfriend. Someone he could see himself spending a life with, someone he really tried and wanted to make happy. Someone to settle down with, and someone who liked the sun, that of which Seattle seemed to forever lack.

He sighed with boredom after walking up and down the surgical floor and finding nothing of amusement. He was about to board the elevator when a sound of fast paced activity caught his attention. He looked over his shoulder to see a crash team of nurses and interns rush into a room in the corner. He couldn't simply help himself and his feet carried him over to the room, just after they revived the patient.

"Page Dr. Grey." The intern said, "I need to ask her what meds to give him for the seizures if phentynol doesn't work again."

"You know we can't do that." A nurse said, "She'll maim every single one of us if we disturb her in surgery."

"I know! I know!" the interns muttered "But I don't know what else to do!"

"You could try valium." Derek said, they all looked up to see him standing in the doorway "I'm not sure what this other doctor has been prescribing, but when all else fails for me I go for the relaxant." They all glanced amongst themselves as he walked over to the patient and got out his flashlight, the machines beeped as he started to crash again "Scratch that, get an OR ready stat! His brain is swelling."

"But…but…" the intern argued "This is Dr. Grey's patient sir."

"Well I don't give a rats ass if this is the surgeon general's patient. This man's brain is swelling so unless you want to be the one to go downstairs and tell his family that he died because YOU wanted to wait for this Dr. Grey…I suggest you move your ass and get me an available OR!"

The intern was rendered speechless as he stuttered and then nodded and ran out the door. Derek looked sternly at the nurses and they all scrambled at once to get the patient prepped for surgery. He smirked to himself, maybe he could find some amusement in Seattle for the time he would be there.

"How was surgery?" the Asian woman to her right asked.

"Ugh." Meredith groaned "Incompetent nurses, incompetent interns."

"They're always incompetent to you." Christina smirked "Maybe you should lower your standards."

"And maybe they should raise theirs." She muttered "I cannot continue working with lazy mentally incompetent staff like this…it's getting out of hand!"

"You need to get laid."

"True." Meredith raised her brows a second

"Well I'll leave you to ponder that, I have to go see if my incompetent staff has prepped me post op notes."

"Same." Meredith nodded "And check on my 4B patient, see if my interns haven't killed him yet."

Christina snickered, and they parted ways in the hallway. Meredith sighed and ran her hand over her face and then up to remove her surgical cap. She turned the corner and walked into her patients room and skidded to a stop when she found it empty and bed less. She scoffed and muttered a profanity, she turned and saw an intern passing by at a run, she reached out and grabbed a handful of the back of her pants, stopping her at a halt.

"You!" she growled "Where the hell is my patient!"

"I…I…I don't know Dr. G…G…Grey." She stuttered.

"Not an acceptable answer!" she muttered "You're an intern, interns are runts, no bodies, bottom of the surgical food chain, they also hear every bit of gossip going through this bloody hospital as much as any nurse does. So you will tell me what you've heard or I will end your fight to the top of the food chain by having you for my professional lunch!"

"I um..I."

"Three seconds!"

"OR 4." She mumbled.

Meredith growled under her breath and let the intern go, then turned on her heels and marched around the corner and down the hall to the OR's. She slammed the door to the scrub room and ripped down a mask, she held it over her face and charged for the automatic doors. She saw a crowd of surgical team surrounding the table. And an unknown surgeon at the head of it, operating…on HER patient. He must be new, because no one else would dare do such a thing to her. She marched into the OR with a huff.

"So!" she yelled out "Which one of you bastards has balls the size of Volkswagens and stole my patient!"

The operating surgeon seemed to perk up a little at the sound of her irate voice, his ears tightened up as if he were smiling. She just then noticed the brown curls peeping out of his ferry boat scrub cap as he turned around.

"That would be me." He said, "But you already know the size of my balls."

"Fuck me running." She gasped as she rocked back on her heels "Derek fucking Shepherd! What the hell are you doing here?" she let out a soft chuckle "Come…give me a hug."

"I can't." he grinned and held up his gloved hands "Sterile."

"Well what kind of karma did you piss off to get brought to Seattle?"

"I could ask you the same thing," he smiled "I thought you were in San Francisco, why in god's name would you want to move to Seattle?"

"You know better than anyone I love being wet."

"Oh." He grinned "That I do." He noticed a few mumbling voices of gossip around them and sighed "Join me, I beg you."

"Oh I've already had my fill of incompetence today." She said "If you don't finish him off I'm sure the interns will. Go ahead, do your worse."

"Insulting the hand that taught you now?"

"Ha!" she laughed "The only thing you ever taught me was that size really does matter."

"Well." He chuckled "I figured you would learn that eventually." He sighed "We must meet for drinks after your shift, we have a lot of catching up to do."

"That we do my well-endowed friend." She said "Joe's, six o'clock."

"Not sure where that is but I'm sure the smell of tequila will lead the way."

"You know me so well." She said as she turned to walk out "Oh and Derek."

"Yes?"

"Don't plan on being sterile for very long."

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