A/N: Welcome to my new story! I have been working on this pretty much ever since I heard Illicit Affairs by Taylor Swift - if you haven't heard it I definitely suggest listening to it and the whole folklore album. It started out as something small but I've actually written a lot already for this and can't wait to share it with you all. It is explicit content so is rated M for this reason. Also, please pay attention to the dates as this story does go back and forth, but I will mention when a flashback happens before a chapter.

I hope you all enjoy! Feedback is greatly appreciated. :)

Sunday, 16th May 2021.

The warm breeze of the afternoon swept through her hair as she stood against the railing, feeling the cool iron between her fingers. If you'd asked her six months ago where she'd be, she definitely wouldn't have guessed being right here where she was now. She found herself biting her lips as she thought back over the events of the last six months, and the thoughts introduced a tightness in her stomach. She felt like an almost completely different person, but she wasn't sure if this were a good thing or a bad thing.

She felt his arms snake around her waist, his lips pressing against the back of her neck as she looked out over the vast gardens that adorned the land of the property, stood on the balcony that adjoined the suite that had been rented for their weekend in Napa Valley. She leaned back into his comforting hold as she released the iron bar, her head falling back against his shoulder, and he pressed soft kisses onto her bare shoulder, his hand creeping up the front of her silk camisole.

Her breath caught as his hand slid further up the front of her body, his fingertips brushing the underside of her breast, raising the goose bumps on her skin, a slight chill travelling down her spine. His lips travelled up her neck to just below her ear, murmuring softly, "We have to go soon, and I want to enjoy you for as long as I can."

She turned around in his arms, and his lips captured hers in a soft, slow kiss. His hands held her hips, his fingers splayed out over her bare skin under the silk top, pushing slightly at the waistband of the matching shorts. Her hands gripped on his shoulders, pressing her body flat against his, eliciting a groan from deep within his chest. He moved his hands to her thighs, lifting her up and moving her legs around his waist keeping hold of her thighs as he carried her back to the bed.

"I was enjoying the view," she murmured as he moved over her, pushing her vest up as he feathered soft kisses over her abdomen. Her back arched as his kisses went lower, slowly pulling her shorts down her legs and dropping them at the side of the bed.

"I prefer this view," he smirked up at her, his lips moving to her inner thigh, each touch of his lips sending shockwaves of pleasure through her and she found herself unable to think about anything other than his touch.

A soft moan escaped her parted lips as the tip of his tongue pressed against her clit, slowly dragging down over her wet pussy lips. He flickered his tongue against her clit again as he slid two fingers inside her, curling them as he slowly pumped them in and out. Her fingers slid into his hair with a gentle grip as the pleasure ripped through her body, her loud moans echoing around them and urging on his movements. Her walls started to tighten around his fingers as her stomach tightened with her impending climax, her toes curling against the sheets as her hips involuntarily moved up against the harder pressure of his tongue against her.

"Come, baby. Come for me."

As she hit her climax, her back arching and his name leaving her lips in loud moans, his fingers were replaced by his tongue while he rubbed her clit in fast motions, helping her ride out the orgasm. She felt his tongue moving over every inch of her vagina, tasting her, and letting her cum drip into his mouth. She felt his lips kissing back up her body, pausing to suck on her sensitive nipples as he pulled her top off her spent body. She moaned out softly as the sensation reignited the feelings of pleasure and need inside her. She could feel his hardening length pressing against her inner thigh, strained against the soft cotton of his boxers, as his lips moved back to hers and she tasted herself on him, becoming all consumed in his kisses.

Her leg hooked over his waist as his hand gripped her upper thigh, pulling her up against him as he also craved the friction of their bodies together. Her hand reached between them and under his boxers, gripping him in her hand with slow movements, feeling a thrill run through her when he moaned her name and nipped at the sweet spot on her neck.

"I want you, Meredith, now…"

"Take me…" she breathed out, her hand still moving up and down his length, feeling drops of his pre-cum dripping down her wrist.

His dark blue eyes locked with hers, taking her hand away from him and locking their fingers together against the mattress beside her head as he positioned himself at her entrance, watching her gasp softly as he pushed inside her, stretching her walls around him. His lips lowered on to hers as he started to move slowly inside her, going slightly deeper with each thrust, and she returned the movements of his hips with her own so that they were moving in slow, passionate movements with synchronisation.

His thrusts became slower, but harder, as he explored her depths, a thin layer of sweat between them as the heat between them intensified, mingled with the heat coming from the afternoon sun. her fingernails dug deeper into his shoulders with each thrust hitting deep inside her, this and her loud moans spurring him on to move faster as he throbbed inside her, his climax quickly building, but ready to hold off until she was ready to come again.

She felt his hand snake down between them, rubbing his thumb against her soft spot hard to entice her orgasm, and she could feel the tightness of her climax building in the pit of her stomach again, pleasure shooting through her body each time the tip of his length hit deep inside her. It didn't take long for her to relax into the orgasm, letting herself go with a loud moan, "Fuck, Derek…"

At the spasms of her walls around him, he let himself release inside her with a load groan, burying his face against her neck, "Oh, Meredith, fuck…" He eventually rolled beside her, breathing heavily, and pulling her against him, her breathing also heavy as she felt the after-effects of the second mind blowing orgasm. Her face buried against his chest as he held her close, his fingers running through her hair.

They woke to the sound of his phone ringing, not even realising they had fallen asleep. She rolled over with a stretch as he climbed off the bed, picking up his phone, she closed her eyes again and listened to him speak, "Hello?"

Hearing the shrill, female voice on the other end of the line, her eyes snapped open, and a sinking, nauseous feeling in her stomach had her crossing her arms over her abdomen as she curled up on one side. She didn't look toward him, but she heard his footsteps as he walked through into the bathroom, closing the door behind him, probably to avoid her having to listen to the conversation. Or maybe to avoid any sign of her being with him being made apparent to the caller.

She needed to stop getting this feeling inside her. It was just sex. That's all it was, right? A physical attraction, a physical jealousy. Either way, it was a doomed marriage. She took a breath before climbing off the bed and picking up her own phone, having no missed messages or calls, but checking the time. Crap. They'd slept too long. They needed to be on a flight in less than two hours.

She pulled her hair up into a ponytail out of the way before finding her airplane clothes, comfy lounge pants a hoodie, pulling them on and gathering the rest of her belongings, packing them into her simple carry-on bag, the only one she'd brought with her. She laughed a little to herself remembering his shock when he had realised, she'd only brought the one carryon bag with her for their weekend away.

"I didn't know it were possible for a woman to just bring one bag when going away anywhere, no matter for how long."

She sat in the middle of the bed, cross legged with her bag beside her as she waited for him to be done with the conversation and come back out of the bathroom. She pulled her phone out, scrolling through her Facebook feed as she waited, trying hard not to listen to the words being spoken in the next room. She realised he might not realise himself how loud he was being.

"Megan, I have to go and pack. My flight is in two hours," she heard him say, an impatient tone in his voice.

"Yes, I know, I'll be there."

She closed the phone, laying back on the bed as it rested on her stomach.

"No, my car is parked at the airport, there's no need."

She closed her eyes, still trying to block out his voice from the bathroom, knowing what would soon be said.

"I'll see you later on tonight, love you too."

Those last words sent a surprisingly sharp pain through her chest, but as with most of her pain, she ignored it.

She heard the door to the bathroom open but continued to lay back on the bed with her eyes closed, concentrating on her breathing rather than his proximity. She listened to his light footsteps and the rustling of his things as he moved around the room, presumably packing up his things.

When she felt the bed dip slightly beside her, she turned her head and opened her eyes to look for the source of it, finding herself looking up into his eyes and he smiled softly at her, making her unable to resist smiling back at him. His finger tip drifted over her cheek as he spoke quietly, "We need to get going."

"Okay," she whispered, not willing to say anymore at the risk of her voice breaking. His hand moved to hers with a gentle squeeze before he moved off the bed again, picking up both of their bags. She sat up, grabbing her phone before getting up and putting her light jacket on, sliding her phone into the pocket.

She followed him out of the room, and both stayed in silence as they checked out and headed out to the rental car. He put the bags in the car and before she could situate herself in the passenger seat, his hand touched her arm, stopping her, "You want to drive?"

Her poor mood momentarily dissolved as she grinned, "Really? You want me to drive?"

"Sure, why not?" He chuckled softly, passing her the keys before getting in the car. She moved round the car and got in the driver's seat, adjusting it before starting the engine. The soft purr of the Porsche sent a thrill of excitement through her. This was definitely a good distraction to the current situation.

"You'd never let me do this if it was your car," she commented, giving him a sideways glance before setting off, following the directions on the screen of the built-in sat nav, soft music playing in the background.

"I happen to like my car, and don't wish to see it getting totalled," he teased her, laughing softly, and she could feel his eyes on her as she drove.

"I'm a good driver! I don't see why you're so insistent that I'm not," she rolled her eyes, but kept her concentration on the road, his presence beside her was distraction enough.

"I never said you were a bad driver, I just really like my car," he said with a laugh, his hand reaching over to rest on her thigh as she drove. "I actually find you driving rather attractive," he said, his voice lower now with that slight husk to it that it got when he was turned on.

"Oh yeah?" she raised an eyebrow, catching her lower lip between her teeth as his hand crept further up her thigh, and she regretted not having a skirt or dress on right now so that he would be touching her bare skin. She could feel the heating pooling between her legs at her own arousal.

"Hmm," he hummed, his lips pressed together as he sat back in his seat, taking her hand in his for the rest of the drive to the airport.

What seemed like only ten minutes later, but was actually closer to an hour, they were sat in their first-class seats facing each other. Meredith had taken her shoes off and was sat cross-legged in the seat, which was only possible due to her strange flexibility, with a medical textbook in her lap, taking various notes. Derek had his work laptop on the table in front of him, but she could see him glancing at her out of the corner of her eyes every now and again, so she would be surprised if he were actually getting anything done. She definitely wasn't getting much done.

An hour into the flight, she gave up and closed the text book. The noise of it closing had Derek looking over to her with a raised eyebrow, "Everything okay?"

"Yeah, I just don't feel like anything is sinking in," she shrugged as she put the books back in her carryon bag, before stretching her arms up above her head to stretch her back out.

"I know the feeling," he laughed softly, closing his laptop as he looked at her, "I keep getting distracted from my reports."

She cocked her head to the side, her hands now back in her lap, and she smirked at him, "Distracted? How so?"

"I like watching you study," he shrugged, crossing his arms over his chest as he sat back in the chair a little, his eyes trained on her still.

"Maybe we should've sat on opposite ends of the plane," she smirked at him again, but didn't miss the darkening look in his blue iris' as he watched her, aware of the familiar look of desire they held.

"Why can't you concentrate?" He asked, ignoring her playful comment.

"My boss keeps watching me," she quipped back almost instantly, smiling at the sound of the laugh she elicited from him.

"Maybe your boss should help you study, as way of apology for distracting you," he suggested, his foot lifting to rest on his opposite knee, his arms relaxing at either side of the seat now.

"My boss wouldn't do that, he's too mean," she continued the banter, idly wondering how far she would be able to push him. If anything, she wanted him to have his way with her in the airplane toilet, but that might just be wishful thinking.

Something shifted between them, and almost as if he could read her mind, he stood from his seat, and moved over to her, his lips dangerously close to her ear as he murmured, the husky tone returning to his voice again, "Maybe your boss will be feeling particularly nice if you meet him in the bathroom in two minutes."

She felt a rush of excitement shoot through her body, and even though she knew this could be a bad idea, a few minutes after he had walked off, she followed after him. She tapped a few times on the door and he opened it for her, the familiar look of desire on his face as he saw her. She stepped in and the door closed behind her. He immediately pressed her up against the closed door, attacking her lips with his in a hot, passionate kiss. His hands lifted her jumper, sliding over her bare skin beneath and up to her bare breasts.

"I didn't think you had a bra on… sexy," he breathed against her ear before pressing feverish kisses down her neck as his body had hers pinned against the door. His hands moved to her lounge pants, sliding beneath the waistband, and she heard a low growl escape his lips as he realised that she had no panties on either as he repeated the words he had spoken to her the first time they were together, "You're driving me crazy, Meredith."

She tilted her head back as she felt his teeth nipping at the skin of her neck, soft moans escaping her lips as his fingers found her clit, teasing the sensitive nerve endings as her juices dripped down her thigh with each movement of his thumb against her. A slightly louder moan escaped her lips as his fingers slid inside her and he moved his lips back to hers to quieten her with kisses.

Just as she was getting close to hitting her climax, he pulled his fingers away and pushed her pants down, lifting her onto the small counter where the sink was. Her legs locked around him for support, her arms around his neck as he unfastened his jeans and lowered them with his boxers, and she could see he was more than ready for her. He slid inside her in one quick movement, and she buried her face against his shoulder in an attempt to muffle the volume of her moans as he moved quickly inside her. It was clear this was going to be a very quick job of it.

His hands gripped her waist tight as he thrust back and forth, quick but deep, making sure she could feel every inch of his movements inside her. Her walls started to contract around his throbbing length, both of them ready to release their orgasms and climax together. One hard, deep thrust later and she was coming undone against him, clinging on to him as her orgasm shook her body and she felt his warm release inside of her. His lips instantly found hers with breathless kisses and he was clinging on to her now, as though he would never get to hold her again.

That's when the sinking feeling came back. This very well may be the last time they were together like this, for a few days at most. She'd taken the weekend away with him for granted, not having to feel on edge when around him, anxious that someone might figure them out just by looking at them interacting with one another.

He pressed a final kiss to her lips before pulling back, resting his forehead against hers with a soft whisper, "I'll go first. Get cleaned up, and I'll help you with your studying."

She nodded, watching in a slight daze as he pulled back, fixing his jeans, and checking his appearance – mainly his hair – in the small mirror before leaving the bathroom, closing the door shut behind him. She took a deep breath before sliding off the counter, cleaning herself up and righting her clothes. She splashed cold water on her face, aware of the redness in her cheeks as she looked in the mirror. She re-tied her hair that he must've pulled out of the ponytail at some point during their heated interaction before leaving the bathroom herself and heading back to her seat, thankful that there weren't that many people in first class, and those that were there didn't seem to be paying any attention to their surroundings.

She sat back in her seat across from Derek and, looking at him, you couldn't tell they had just had a quickie in the small toilet. She knew she definitely looked like she had. She pulled her phone out of her bag, fiddling it with a moment and hiding a yawn with her hand. When she looked up at Derek, he was holding out one of the complimentary blankets to her, "Sleep, Meredith. I'll wake you when we get there."

"Well I'd hope you wouldn't just leave me on the plane," she mumbled, taking the blanket and settling into the seat with it, catching the small shake of his head as he chuckled at her comment before she closed her eyes, realising she really did need to sleep.

She woke to his light shake of her shoulder and her eyes opened slowly to look at him. He gave her a small smile, already carrying both of their bags, "We've landed, come on."

She blinked a few times, grounding herself a moment before standing up, leaving the blanket on the seat as she stretched a little and then Derek let her lead the way off the plane. His hand touched the small of her back as they walked through to arrivals, "Do you need a ride home?"

They stopped to one side of the main airport area as she pulled her phone out, seeing a message from Cristina. She looked up at him as she shook her head, "Cristina is here, waiting. I didn't know if she'd make it or not but apparently things have been slow at the hospital."

"Okay, good," he paused a moment, as though he was deliberating what to say next but seemingly changed his mind, holding out her bag for her, "Here you go."

"Thanks," she took it from him, holding it over her shoulder, "I guess I'll see you in the morning?"

"Yeah, rounds at 7:30," he half smirked, "I'll see you then." He turned to walk toward the parking lot where he'd left his car but turned back to look at her, "Meredith…"

She looked up to him, her heart pounding as she tried to anticipate what he might want to say to her, "Yeah?"

Again, she noted the indecision in his eyes, and he spoke quickly, too quickly, "Coffee. I'll bring coffee. Sleep well."

"Okay, you too," she nodded, and he turned again, this time actually walking away from her and she stood a moment, her mind racing. Surely that's not what he wanted to say? But what would he have wanted to say? She needed to get a grip. She needed to buck up. It was just sex. Her phone buzzed in her hand with another message from Cristina.

Hurry up, I know your flight has landed and you should be off it by now. I'm not waiting for you all night while you suck face with McDreamy, and I've already been stuck watching happy family reunions for the past fifteen minutes.

She sighed and tapped out a quick message as she walked to the exit, letting Cristina know she was on her way. She slid the phone into her coat pocket and made her way out to the pick-up area, quickly spotting Cristina's car and throwing her bag on the backseat before climbing in the passenger side with a huff.

"What's your problem? You've just had 48h uninterrupted hours of McDreamy in wine country, that's supposed to help you unwind, not stress you out more."

Meredith glared at her friend before putting on her seatbelt, "Let's just get out of here."

"Okay, cranky," Cristina said with raised eyebrows before she started driving onto the highway, back to their shared house that was a convenient ten minutes' walk from the hospital. "I'm just going to say this once, Meredith, but you really need to end this thing you have going on. I'm sure it was fun, and exciting for a while, but it's getting downright depressing to watch. You're miserable every time you come back from seeing him, and he just stares at you all the time, it's unnerving and I'm surprised I'm the only one to have figured you guys out by now. He needs to make a decision, and you need to move on."

Meredith didn't respond to her and was quiet the whole ride home, her mind filled with thoughts about her current situation. She couldn't be feeling like this towards him, but she couldn't help it. Having to leave him, knowing he was going back home to another woman, it just solidified the fact that no-one truly wanted her. They wanted the benefits and to forgo all the complications. She knew she should be ending this thing with him, whatever it was. He wasn't going to leave his wife for her, over six months down the line, that was pretty obvious. How did she even get herself into this mess?