Chapter Fifty: Forward

The moment his eyes opened, shades of purple and red filled them. Sitting himself upright, Kachi lifted a hand to his head, massaging his temple and taking in his surroundings. What looked to be clouds of cosmic dust swirled high above him, and the sky was dotted with small, yet bright stars.

Kachi turned his head toward the horizon. There were no obstructions; no trees, mountains, or buildings of any kind, to keep him from seeing as far as he could see. Off in the distance, staring down at him from its position in the sky, a massive red ball of fire. Its light was dim, allowing him to see the surface clearly, and looking down behind him, no shadow was cast.

With his free hand, he rubbed the ground beneath him. It was perfectly smooth and warm to the touch, as if he were sitting on one big pane of glass. However there was no faint reflection, and it was black as night; he was standing on nothing. Kachi's heartrate quickened, worried that the ground would crumble beneath him. He was able to calm himself down shortly after, understanding that if it were to break, it would have already.

Kachi leaned forward, getting to his knees before standing upright. His surroundings changed little despite the difference in eye level. The black expanse beneath him continued infinitely in all directions, as did the purple-red sky. The clouds continued to shimmer and shift above him. He inhaled softly, watching his feet as he took a shaky step forward. He let go of the breath he held once his foot returned to the ground.

One step at a time, Kachi began walking in one direction, keeping his eyes to the horizon ahead of him. The false sun's heat warmed his limbs, allowing him to relax his body for the first time in recent memory.

What even is this place? Is this Heaven? Is it Hell? Or is it somewhere in between?

Kachi stopped. Slowly, he turned his head to the ground, images of his friend running up to him as he lay bleeding out on the floor flashing through his mind.

"Oh yeah…that's right…" He sighed.

Kachi's mood fell significantly after recalling what had happened. Instinctively, he glanced at his forearms, expecting to see the extent of the damage he'd caused to himself transported with him. He squinted; at first glance, it appeared there was nothing there. He was unsure if it was the relative darkness surrounding him or his black fur obstructing his vision, but after running a hand over where the wounds should have been, he confirmed to himself that they were, in fact, gone.

"What the hell…" he whispered, his ears falling flat. "This is getting strange. Where even am I?" he repeated.

A sudden breeze picked up the moment Kachi concluded his sentence. His fur bristled from the chills shooting through his body, and what sounded like gentle whispers began assaulting his ears. He turned around, certain that they were coming from behind him, but he was faced with nothing but a purple-red void behind him.

Turning back around, just a few meters from where he stood, a mass of shadow had began manifesting itself. Kachi stepped back, watching in both wonder and terror while the mass grew taller, obstructing the faux sun behind it. Finally, the mass stopped growing, standing eye level with Kachi. The wind died down, the warmth returning to the canine's body.

Gradually, the mass took shape, one that Kachi couldn't believe he was seeing. He leaned forward, trying to make out any distinct features. It wasn't until the very end when Kachi realized what he was looking at. The shadow opened its eyes, a dark blue staring back at him.

"What…" Kachi's eyes widened, shock taking him over. The shadow stared back, seemingly unconcerned with Kachi's presence. "What's happening? Who are you?"

The shadow floated upward and began hovering a few inches above the ground. Kachi craned his neck upward to keep eye contact. "Don't you recognize me? I'm you."

Kachi's eyes narrowed. He shook his head, crossing his arms. "You're me? How so?"

The tips of his limbs, as well as the top of his head flickered like the tops of flames. Pieces of him broke off, disintegrating as they rose into the sky. "I was created in your image by your subconscious as a visual representation of it."

"So…you're a figment of my imagination…just like those other figures at the mall and the dorm?"

"The very same," the shadow confirmed.

Kachi blinked once, giving him a shallow nod. "If you're like them…how come you're not tormenting me?"

The shadow turned around, crossing his arms. "Your attitude has changed. The anger within you has dissipated, replaced with hopelessness and longing." He started floating forward. "Walk with me."

Kachi stood still for a moment before jogging to catch up with the shadow. "So I dealt with my anger problem…that's good, right?" He looked around the shadow, staring into the faux sun again.

"Naturally, but your mechanism of choice to fill the vacuum is not."

Kachi opened his mouth to respond but found himself speechless.

Of everyone to tell me…it had to be me.

"I—I know…" He glanced down to his forearms again, still surprised to see them unharmed.

"If you know, then why do it?"

Kachi sighed. "I guess it was because I needed a distraction. With everything going on, I needed something else to put energy into."

"You guess?"

"No! I know, okay? I knew it was a distraction." The shadow looked away from Kachi, keeping his vision focused on the horizon. Kachi followed his gaze, surprised to see the faux sun moving closer. "It was all just a distraction…" he whispered.

"A distraction…" the shadow repeated. "From what?"

"Life. Who I am. My Mom. Chris. Dana…I couldn't deal with them all in my head, so I'd draw blood and hope to fade away."

"Right." The shadow stopped floating and returned to the ground. Kachi continued forward, stopping a few steps ahead of him. "Kachi…you don't truly want to die, do you?"

Kachi turned around, seeing that the shadow had returned to the ground. "I don't know…"

"Answer honestly," said the shadow sternly.

Kachi's ears fell flat. "No…" He met the shadow's eyes. "I don't." Kachi felt his limbs weaken, the thoughts circling in his head turning his stomach. "Am I dead?"

The shadow shrugged. "How should I know? I'm you." Kachi sighed, turning his gaze to the ground.

"So…what now? Am I just here forever?"

The shadow shook his head. "Of course not, but what's next is up to you. Your destiny lies in your own hands."

Kachi looked back up to the shadow. "Okay…I want to get out of here. If I'm dead…then… But if I'm alive…then I have a lot of work to do once I get back."

The shadow smiled. "Now you're getting it."

"How do I leave?" Kachi corrected his posture.

"You can leave whenever you wish."

Kachi tilted his head. "I asked how, not when, but that's good to know too."

"You leave however you please. You won't be trapped here."

His brows creased, his frustration rising. "What's with the cryptic words now? Surely you know how to get out of this place."

The shadow shook his head. "I can't leave. All I know is that you can, and that you can do it however you want. If you're looking for a suggestion…" He pointed over Kachi's shoulder.

Kachi looked over his shoulder, the false sun coming back into view. In the time he had his back turned it had grown brighter, and the features upon its surface no longer visible. He squinted, shielding his eyes with his hands. "What are you—" Kachi turned around; the shadow was gone. All that remained were little black ribbons, dancing in the air as they disintegrated.

He stared breathlessly where the shadow stood until any trace of it was gone. Another strong breeze came from behind, followed by a sudden warmth upon his back. Glancing downward, he saw his own shadow appear against the ground, which was gradually shifting from black to white. His shadow grew in length and the heat intensified, his black fur only worsening the discomfort he felt.

Kachi looked up from the ground, gazing off into the vast purple-red nothingness. Hazy clouds still swirled above, and false stars still filled the sky. Finally, feeling his skin begin to burn, he turned around. He lifted his hands to his face, the brightness threatening to blind him. Peering through his fingers, his eyes watered and began searing from the brilliant light. Still, he continued to stare, clenching his jaw to keep the pain from getting to him.

Gradually, Kachi became acclimated to the light and slowly lowered his hands. The once dark red sun had transformed completely. Staring directly into its center, all color was absent, as if he were staring at a blank sheet of paper. Kachi blinked once, his heart racing.

A suggestion…

The warm breeze tugged at his shirt and blew his fur in all directions. Looking once to his left, then his right, he took a step forward, finally able to tell somewhat where he was going. He took another step, then another, his entire body shaking in anticipation, and terror.

My destiny is in my own hands…if that's true, then…

Kachi picked up his pace, beginning with a light jog, before breaking out into a dead sprint. The light grew closer with every step. The purples and reds faded, allowing the all-encompassing brightness to envelop him. His body grew hotter; his legs threatening to give out on him, but he didn't care. He creased his brows, gritted his teeth, determination and adrenaline filling his blood.

I want to keep moving forward.

Thanks for reading. It's been fun.