Hello dear readers! I apologize for the long wait. A lot of unfortunate things happened this past year that kept me from wanting to write! However, I've worked through those issues and am back. Again, I sincerely apologize for the wait! I appreciate everyone who pmed me about this story!
Disclaimer: DNON
It was pointless. Nothing was right. I felt as if I was running and getting nowhere. I couldn't concentrate on my work. I didn't go to class. I stopped volunteering at the hospital. It was infuriating.
My heart skipped a beat as I caught a glimpse of dark hair sitting at the table in front of me. Was it Sasuke? I held my breath as he packed up his books. He turned around and walked past me.
I was so wrong; It wasn't Sasuke. Sasuke would never wear those colors-yellow was not his thing. How could I mistake that fool for Sasuke?
And then I felt a sudden rush of disappointment.
Tears stung my eyes as I realized the sole reason I so willingly came to the library today with Ino after days of her pestering. I only came because I had hoped to run into Sasuke. I was such a foolish girl.
I hadn't seen him in a week and I missed his presence. I brooded over that thought for a moment before my pride took over.
What the hell was wrong with me? Why the fuck was I thinking about that Bastard instead of studying? I couldn't waste my precious time thinking about someone I didn't care about! What happened to my unwavering motivation? Why couldn't I summon it? I had an exam next week and I really needed to study. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
Fear of failing finally propelled me to open the book, but quickly, I felt my interest dissipate as I read the same line over and over again not really making any sense of the content.
I slouched in my chair and balanced to book on the table letting it stand on its own. I flipped the page to the end of the chapter and sighed realizing I still had 54 pages left to read before the next chapter. I glanced over the book at Ino, straightening my posture for the briefest moment, and saw that she was immersed in her book with her headphones in her ear.
It was pointless to read, so I left my book standing up creating a wall between the Pig and me as I opened my laptop hoping I would be more productive watching the lectures I missed. I connected to the Internet and I felt an urge to check on Sasuke's profile-I wondered if I could find out more about Hitomi. I looked to my left and right to make sure no one was watching and opened another tab to look at Sasuke's Facebook.
Mori Hitomi had written on his wall, "Thanks for showing me around Kyoto, Sasuke-kun! I can't wait to see you again!"
Fucking bitch. I felt rage build up inside of me as I thought about her making a move on Sasuke, but it came crashing down into depression as I realized I didn't even have his number. The tear that had been threatening to fall finally fell. This was so stupid. I didn't even like him.
I was wasting away.
~~~
AMGR Chapter 12
~~~
3 days later.
It's been an entire week since I've gone to a lecture. I couldn't figure out why I wouldn't go, but apparently it was annoying Ino. She'd walk into my room after class and find me sleeping through the 11 o clock lecture. She'd huff and slam the door open waking me up, but what was the point of ruining my sleep? I wasn't going to go anyway.
Today, I was up 10 minutes before 11 so I waited for Ino to come back. Maybe I'd go to my 2 o clock class today; I was feeling relatively motivated.
She walked in and slammed the door open.
"I'm already up, no need to slam the door open," I let out lazily sitting up in my bed. I stretched my arms up above me and waited for her response.
She glared at me but didn't say anything. She watched me with narrowed eyes as I got out of bed to stumbled to my closet.
With my back to her, I asked nonchalantly as I held a baby blue dress to my body, "How was class?" I knew it would piss her off and I couldn't help but smile a little as I provoked her.
When she didn't answer, I grew irritated, "What's your problem? Are you PMSing or something? Did you do something to piss Shikamaru off?"
"Sakura, what the fuck? It's been a week since you've gone to class!"
I rolled my eyes and moved to open my laptop.
Ino caught a glimpse of Sasuke's profile and let out an exasperated sigh, "Are you really thinking about that idiot again!"
I quickly closed my laptop and spun around, "Why are you being so nosy? And you're one to talk! You used to skip school all the time when we were in high school! You-"
"Whatever Sakura, I was just trying to help." With that she turned around to leave. As the door closed, I heard her say, "There's only so much bitchiness I can take."
The door shut and I was alone in the room.
I couldn't help but start crying.
I was tired and miserable so I called Naruto.
~~~
AMGR Chapter 12
~~~
Naruto POV
I was on my way to the stupid Reliigions class when my phone rang, "Never doubt that you're the one and you can have your dreams! You're the best! Around! Nothing's gonna ever keep you down..." I paused in the middle of the sidewalk ignoring people's looks and ransacked my backpack for the phone.
The phone stopped ringing as I saw it was from Sakura-chan. It was Sakura-chan, of course I was going to call back.
She picked up the call on the first ring. On the other side I heard sniffling as I tried to zip up my backpack. Alarmed, I paused, "Sakura-chan! What's wrong?"
Her voice was muffled but I deciphered, "Something's wrong with me and everyone hates me. I'm sick of being alone! Can you come over?"
I sighed and said, "I'll be right over."
She paused before retracting her previous request, "No, it's okay, I don't want to burden you."
"I was on my way to see Hinata-chan anyway!" I lied, "She won't mind if I see you instead!"
She let out a small, barely detectible, "Okay," before she hung up abruptly. My eyes narrowed in aggravation. She didn't even bother saying bye before she hung up.
I sighed and texted Kiba to not save me a seat.
Sakura-chan was a mess and I understood why-sort of.
She brought it upon herself by agreeing to have Sasuke's child. Reminded of how desperately she wanted him to be involved, I kicked the rock in front of me. Why was she stupid enough to want to be involved with him?
I used to love Sakura-chan and even now, she was still important to me, but I hated how much she relied on Sasuke.
15 minutes later I was at Sakura-chan's door.
She opened the door before I could knock and engulfed me in a hug. I felt all the anger fade away into pity as I patted her back. I practically dragged her over to the couch and sat her down before I got her some water. I brought her back the water and she took it without a word of thanks.
It was awkward sitting there in silence. She was holding the cup in one hand and the other was playing with the strands of her hair.
"N-Naruto, something's wrong with me! A-And I don't understand what or why!" she sobbed finally throwing herself at me. For the first time in a few weeks, the grudge I held against her ebbed away as I saw the vulnerable side of Sakura-chan in my arms. This was the Sakura-chan I grew up with. My Sakura-chan. In that moment, I wanted to beat up Sasuke for hurting her. For a moment, I thought I understood why she felt this way.
"S-Sakura-chan, you need to sit up," I said gently as I pushed her upright. I wiped away her tears absentmindedly as I said, "Sakura-chan, I know you. I've known you a long time. You're one of the most important people to me, so I don't want you to hurt. Teme-Sasuke can't give you what you want. Sakura-chan, I think a part of you wants him," I had to choose my words carefully, "to be involved in your life."
She laughed in my face. It wasn't her normal laugh. It was darker, "I already know that Baka! I told him that and he said he wanted a part in this!"
She may as well have slapped me. It stung me just the same-the way she laughed in my face. "He's not going to suddenly fall in love with you." I didn't mean for it to come out as harsh as it did, but it was enough to make her try to hide the hurt in her eyes. Softening up a little, I held her hand, "Look, I just meant-"
"Why not?" she asked cooly, freezing her movements watching me, daring me to answer, with familiar green eyes. "What's wrong with me? Why wouldn't he like me?"
Exasperated, I couldn't help but roll my eyes at her childish reaction-probably further pissing her off, "He's already got some someone-sort of, Hitomi. You saw them together-Hitomi-chan told me. She's the daughter of Teme's otousan's friend so he's probably going to be with her in the end! I know how his family works Sakura-chan! They're vultures. Teme's otousan will pressure him into that relationship especially now that Hitomi-chan likes him!"
She looked livid. Her eyes were the coldest shade of green I had ever seen, "You knew about Hitomi?" She sounded betrayed.
Of course I knew her. Sasuke was my best friend. It wasn't fair that she sounded so betrayed. I had no reason to feel guilty but for some reason, I couldn't get the words out of my mouth. All I could do was nod dumbly.
"Get out," she said softly.
"What?" I asked confused.
She tore her hand away from mine and stood up pointing at the door, "You have no right to be so rude to me! So, go away!"
I gave up. I sat back for a moment and just stared at the way she was pointing at the door. Her hair was a little stringy. Her face was sour and pale. Her eyes didn't gleam. Her lips were dry. She had dark circles underneath her eyes. She looked so little in her baggy shirt. It was sad seeing her like that.
I looked over her one last time and then stood up in front of her. She dropped her left hand to her hip and shifted her weight to her right leg and waited. She was still glaring at me.
There were many things I wanted to tell her. I wanted to tell her to grow up. I wanted to tell her to stop hoping for her fairy tale to come true. I wanted her to stop wanting the Teme to come and rescue her. I wanted to tell her to appreciate all her friends were doing. I wanted to tell her to go to class. I wanted to tell her that I believed in her. I wanted to tell her to stop pushing her friends away-I wanted to tell her to stop pushing me away.
All I could do was walk away.
"Hinata's lucky to have you," she said bitterly as I reached for the doorknob.
I paused, "You have me too," I counteracted lightly.
"It's not the same."
"...Yeah." I didn't know what she wanted. I didn't know what to say. I turned around to face her.
"Can you tell Sasuke to call me?" She was already back on the couch reaching for the remote, "and thanks for the 15 minute visit."
I could feel the anger build but I didn't want to pick a fight so I left her watching TV.
I punched the down button and waited for the elevator. I took a deep breath and leaned against the wall with my arms crossed. I was hurt.
Ding.
The elevator door opened and I saw Hinata. I watched her face turn from surprise to fondness.
"N-Naruto-kun, what are you doing here?"
I reached out and pulled her in for a hug. "I came here for you-to surprise you," I lied easily. My eyes were moist so I held her in my arms for a few long moments until they dried. I didn't want Hinata-chan to worry about me.
I left two minutes later and inside the elevator I decided to text Teme.
Call Sakura-chan. I sent another text with her number in it.
~~~
AMGR Chapter 12
~~~
Sakura POV
Another day passed and I woke up at 12. I sat up, tired-I always felt tired. I looked around the room and noticed the clothes strewn in the corner. I made a mental note to pick up the clothes. Next to my clothes were my sneakers. I had tossed them there yesterday after deciding to not go on a run. There was paper everywhere. An opened bag of chips lay on the corner of my desk. My books were all over my desk. I remembered looking for my chemistry book. By the time I had found it, I was unmotivated so it lay there unopened for the third week in a row.
I pulled my legs to my chest and rested my cheek on my knee.
I sighed and slid off the bed. It was about time I cleaned up. I felt defeated and everything about me felt droopy. I put my flip flops on and started clearing my desk. I noticed the trash was overflowing and scrunched my nose. It was about time I took out the trash.
Someone knocked on the door.
I sighed and put the bag of trash down. I ran my fingers through my hair trying to make myself look decent. With a final glance in the mirror, I went to open the door. The person knocked again and I let out an annoyed, "I'm coming!"
I looked through the peephole. I saw him.
In that instant my heart stopped beating. What was he doing here? Did we decide on meeting and I had forgotten? Remembering the reflection I had seen in the mirror made my blood run cold. I hadn't washed my face or brushed my teeth. I took another glance through the peephole and saw him looking clean and beautiful. This was humiliating.
"S-Sasuke, I can't let you in." I was afraid he would see me looking miserable.
"Just open the door."
Dreading every second of it, I dragged the door open. I couldn't look him in the eye so I settled for staring at his feet, "What are you doing here?"
He didn't answer. I could feel his eyes run over my body and it made me want to hide. I was conscious of the baggy shirt and short shorts I was wearing. How could he be so unaffected by this? I moved aside to let him in.
The door barely closed before he whirled on me. "What's wrong with you?" He didn't yell at me, but the his voice was low and laced with disgust. I cringed and didn't answer. How could I answer? I didn't even know what the answer was.
"I don't know," I whispered. I finally looked up and met his eyes. For some reason, I felt tears gather in my eyes. I was easily upset nowadays.
I motioned for him to sit down on the couch and asked him if he wanted something to drink.
He didn't say anything so I crossed over and sat down next to him.
The silence was overwhelming. To break it, I asked, "Where have you been?" I couldn't keep the jealousy out of the question as I remembered Mori Hitomi's post on his wall. He noticed and raised an eyebrow.
Again I cringed and looked away, "Sasuke-kun, I'm jealous. I don't like not being a part of your life." It was so degrading admitting that but I had nothing to lose. I had already hit rock bottom.
There was an awkward silence after that.
When he finally spoke, it wasn't to acknowledge what I had said, "Sakura, look at yourself. You look pathetic. You need to grow up and accept responsibility for your-our actions. You chose to have the baby so you have to become an adult."
His voice wasn't laced with spite but all I could hear was the blame, "You're going to go there again? You're going to blame me for all of this again? Dammit Sasuke-kun, you grow up!" I moved to push him away.
He grabbed my right upper arm with his left and my chin with his right hand. He forced me to look at him. He ignored my glare and spoke, "You didn't hear me. I said our actions. Our actions. I told you I would be there for you and I have not backed down. Look at yourself. You're acting pathetic-as if your life is over. Your hair is greasy. Your eyes are dull. You have a stain on your shirt. You skip class all the time. You need to grow up. I can't do that for you." Being so close to him made me feel so vulnerable.
He was right.
"Sasuke-kun, I can't do this by myself," I whispered as the truth came out.
He loosened his grip on my chin and said, "I told you I would be there for you. You won't be by yourself."
"Yeah right," I couldn't keep the hostility out of my voice, "where were you this past week? Not with me for damn sure." Immediately regretting my tone, I offered a half hearted apology, "Sorry."
"What can I do now?"
The sincerity in voice me made me tremble. It wasn't an apology but it was something.
The thought popped into my mind and without thinking twice, I asked him, "Can you help me clean my room?"
He looked as surprised as Uchiha Sasuke could look. "Aa."
Feeling excited and nervous at the same time, I pulled him up with me and led him to my room. As we stood in my doorway, I noticed I was holding his hand and immediately let go offering another apology, "Sorry."
He appraised my room and shot me a look of distaste. I ignored it and walked over to my closet, "Can you hand me those clothes?" I pointed to the pile in the corner. I heard him walk over to the corner and I couldn't help but let out a small smile.
In silence we cleaned my room. I didn't let him near my laundry, not wanting him to see my underwear.
When it was finally clean, I stood in front of him not knowing what to say. I was still jealous and angry but to a lesser extent. I still wanted him to be with me. I knew I had to address this issue so I asked him seriously, "Can you see us together Sasuke?"
He let out a small sigh and closed his eyes. "No."
I felt wounded and had to suppress the urge to lash out. I took a deep breath and asked him another question, "Can you at least be someone I can trust and rely on? A friend?"
"Aa."
"Okay," I said in resignation. Again, I had to suppress the urge to whine. I couldn't make him be with me.
On an impulse, I stood up on my tip toes and kissed his cheek. I wanted to lean into him a little more but I kept my distance even as I performed the small innocent action.
"I should leave," he said.
"Okay," I repeated. I followed him out of my room and to the door. I couldn't help but feel a tear run down my face. Swiftly I swiped it away, but another one fell anyway. I turned around so he couldn't see me. With our backs to each other I said, "Thanks."
He said, "Aa." He opened the door and stepped out.
"Can you give me your number?" I asked desperately as the door swung shut.
The door closed with a loud thud and I was left alone in the room with my heart beating ten times faster than normal.
He didn't come back.
Chagrined, I walked back to my room and sat on the swivel chair.
I saw my phone flash indicating a new text message. It probably was Ino wondering whether or not I decided to do something with my life today.
It was an unknown number and suddenly, I felt myself grow excited as I pressed the messaging app. It was a one worded text message and I knew who it was from.
Aa.
Thanks for reading you guys! It wasn't my best work and if any of you have suggestions let me know! I have a lot more drama in store for this couple!
Sasusaku779
Review?
Thank you my dear reviewers! As I went back to type up a list of names to acknowledge, I read the reviews and once again, they didn't fail to make me smile! You guys are wonderful. For some reason, fanfiction doesn't allow parts of some of your pennames! I apologize for that!
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