Disclaimer: these characters are not mine – they belong to JK Rowling
AN: Hi all! Thank you for the continued reviews! I can't respond directly if you review as a guest, but I just want to point something out about this story, as well as the majority of the types of fics I tend to write; I like writing humor/ crack fics, and this is definitely one of them. The point of this type of fic, is to create a ridiculous situation and throw the characters into it and see what will happen. These situations are mostly AU, and would never happen in canon….but as I said, that is entirely the point. Because of this, all bets are off. There is no standard on how Hermione or Tom, or Harry would act or react in a patently impossible situation that would never happen to begin with. Liberties with this is allowed, because that is what helps to create the humor. In other words, these stories are not meant to be taken seriously. They are meant to be funny, and to make you laugh. There may be some more serious parts sprinkled in from time to time, but ultimately, this story is a comedy. Rest assured, I have in fact read all of the Harry Potter books multiple times, and I do know what is canon. I have written the stories the way I do on purpose because it is tied into the plot that I am creating, not because I don't know what actually happened in the books. It is intentional, for the sake of the story. If you don't like stories where creative license is taken, or AU stories, or humor/crack fics, you may want to skip over reading most of my works, because that's what I do, occasional drama aside. Also, I tend to write free form, meaning I start with a single scene or idea, and just sit down and write the story as it comes. No outline, no plan. I felt the need to mention this, because across a few different stories of mine that are humor fics, it seems some people are taking them entirely too seriously, and that completely misses the point of what I set out to do. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy the new chapter!
Chapter 4 - You're going down, Riddle!
As Harry and Hermione headed down to the defense classroom, they were surprised to see a dueling platform set up in the room. Harry looked at Hermione nervously, hoping that he wouldn't be paired to duel with Riddle. The possibility of their wands meeting, and the twin cores causing the priori incantatum in the middle of class would surely cause drastic alterations to their future timeline.
As the rest of the students filed into the class room, Professor Merrythought strolled in and stood atop the platform facing the class.
"Good Afternoon! As you all well know, today marks the start of the annual Inter-house dueling championships. You will be paired off with members of opposing houses, and the winner of each duel must then face the other winners and so on, until only one champion remains." Professor Merrythought explained.
Hermione's hand went into the air.
"Yes, Miss Jones?"
"Professor, since there are more Slytherins in this class than those of other houses, won't some of us be dueling with each other?" she asked.
"Yes, Miss Jones, that is true. You will be paired off as much as possible so that you are facing an opponent from an opposing house, however, depending on the outcome of the duel, there may be more winners from one house than another. Eventually, even they must face off." Professor Merrythought explained.
Hermione nodded, and with that, the professor assigned everyone into pairs.
"Before we begin, the rules are as follows: each duel will last no more than 3 minutes. No illegal curses, nothing I can't heal, and proper dueling etiquette must be observed at all times. I will be keeping score. If both opponents are still standing at the end of the three minutes, it will be a winner by decision, and that person shall move on in the competition. Any questions?"
No one raised their hand. Hermione glanced over at Tom who was chatting with Abraxas Malfoy with a far too smug look on his face. She had the sudden urge throttle him in a duel, if only to bring him down a peg. Wouldn't that be the day; Voldemort losing in a classroom duel…to a girl. Hermione snorted thinking about it, and the object of her attention looked over at her and narrowed his eyes.
"Shall we begin? Mr. Potter and Mr. Malfoy, take your positions if you please." Professor Merrythought said
Fleamont Potter and Abraxas Malfoy took the stage and stood facing one another.
"Scared Potter?" Abraxas taunted
"You wish" Fleamont replied.
Harry elbowed Hermione, "This looks familiar…"
Hermione bit down on her lip to keep from laughing out loud. It truly was eerie seeing Harry and Draco's ancestors facing off against one another as it mirrored their own interactions perfectly.
Before Fleamont had completed his bow, Abraxas fired off two curses in succession, the first one Fleamont dodged due to his quick reflexes, though the second knocked him off his feet. He quickly stood back up and fired off a curse, and then two additional curses quickly behind it before Abraxas could block it. Abraxas was hit with both curses before he could throw up his shield, and was thrown across the stage.
Hermione glanced over at Tom who had a look of disgust on his face. Apparently he wasn't too happy with Malfoy's performance.
The timer went off, and Professor Merrythought announced the winner as Fleamont Potter. For a moment, Harry almost clapped, before he realized that as a Slytherin, he shouldn't be rooting for a Gryffindor.
The duels continued; Harry against Septimus Weasely, Tom against Arthur Diggory, Antonin Dolohov against Zacariah Longbottom, Euphemia Prewett against Helena Abbott, Edmond Doge against Elaina Bones, and Elphias Fletcher against Pandora Lovegood.
Finally, Hermione took the stage against Isadora Selwyn, a seventh year Ravenclaw, who had long blond hair, and deep blue eyes. She was a timeless beauty in every sense, so naturally, Hermione already despised her. To make matters worse, Isadora was working very hard to capture Tom's attention. Hermione took in Isadora's pathetic glances at Tom, and she felt something that she never in a million years would have imagined would be in her 'feelings regarding Voldemort' file…she was jealous. If Tom so much as winked at the blond hag, Hermione was going to rip every bleach blond hair out of her head. It was a perfectly rational thing to want to do. Isadora stepped towards Hermione and bowed, although her eyes were firmly glued on Tom. Hermione smirked and then fired off three curses before the poor girl even had a chance to straighten her posture. Tom couldn't hide his smirk as Isadora was flipped into the air and landed rather ungracefully, with her skirt up over her bum. For a moment, Hermione felt a pang of remorse for the girl's humiliation, but as soon as she stood up and glared at Hermione, the moment had passed. After another minute, Hermione was able to land another curse, hitting the girl with the jelly legs jinx. She watched Isadora attempt to wobble around the stage helplessly until the timer finally ran out. Hermione, had obviously won that round.
After the first round of dueling was finished, the winners were: Fleamont, Harry, Hermione, Tom, Antonin, Euphemia, Elaina, and Pandora.
For round two, Professor Merrythought called Fleamont up to duel against Tom. Harry and Hermione watched anxiously, as Harry's doppleganger went toe to toe with the future dark lord. Hermione inhaled sharply just before they took their stance, and Tom glanced down at her and with a smug smile. Within moments, Fleamont was thrown across the room, and Tom was twirling his yew wand between his fingers waiting for what he felt would be a proper challenge. Fleamont got up, and before he could even begin to fire off a curse, Tom threw two more at him once again throwing him clear across the room. Harry stood next to Hermione, and she saw his fist tighten around his wand. Still for Tom, it was pretty tame; he hadn't yet felt the need to start throwing truly dark curses. Tom clearly had won that round.
Next, Harry was up against Euphemia. As she climbed the stage she shot a shy smile at Harry. Harry remembered she was the one who had stopped him on the way out of the Astronomy tower that morning after Diviniation class. Harry bowed to her, and before he was fully standing again, she fired three curses at him in rapid succession. Harry managed to throw up his shield and fire off a curse which she easily blocked. Whatever he'd been expecting from Euphemia, it certainly wasn't her excellent dueling skills. After the three minutes, time was called and Professor Merrythought declared Euphemia the winner of their duel. Harry nodded to her out of respect before he stepped off the stage. Now that he had lost his duel, Harry didn't have to worry about facing off with Tom and risking their wands meeting.
Professor Merrythought called Hermione and Antonin Dolohov up to the stage. Hermione felt her blood run cold, like ice water was running though her veins. She recalled clearly the fight at the Department of Mysteries in her own timeline in which he fired a curse at her that left her scarred from her hip to sternum. She felt a surge of anger rise up within her at the memory. Despite the fact that he hadn't cursed her yet in this timeline, she was going to enjoy this.
Before bowing to Dolohov, she glanced at Tom who had his eyes trained on her. She smirked at him, and threw the same slicing hex at Dolohov that he had used on her at the Department of Mysteries. She saw him fall over in pain, clutching his shoulder. Professor Merrythought paused the timer and healed the wound on Dolohov's shoulder before being assured he could still fight. He stood, and fired off three nasty hexes towards Hermione. She was able to dodge one and throw up a shield blocking the last two. She once again managed to hit him with a stinging hex before the timer went off. Professor Merrythought declared Hermione the winner. The remaining pair, Elaina and Pandora took the stage to duel, and Pandora easily took out her opponent, Helena within the first two minutes.
The 4 remaining students had to now face off against each other for round three; Pandora against Hermione, and Euphemia against Tom. Harry hoped that Hermione would purposely lose the duel to avoid having to duel with Tom, but he knew better than to think Hermione would do any such thing.
As Harry feared, the two winners were Hermione and Tom. Harry watched anxiously as Tom stepped onto the stage with Hermione. Her resolved strengthened, and she recalled the smug look he had on his face at the beginning of class, and a slow smirk spread across her face. She doubted very much that Tom would kill her right in the middle of class, so this was probably going to be her only chance to attempt to beat him at a duel without fearing for her life.
He took in her stance and saw the smirk hinting at the corner of her lips. He was going to enjoy wiping that smile off of her face. Despite being a mudblood, she had surprisingly proved to be a worthy opponent. They faced each other and bowed, but before she moved back to standing, she fired two rapid hexes at him followed by three more. He easily dodged the first two, and fired off one of his own before erecting his shield to fend off the other three she had tossed at him. As the moments ticked by, and no hexes were hitting their intended targets, the curses began to grow a bit darker as Tom's irritation rose. He had no desire to lose in this duel, but even less so to lose to a mudblood. Hermione could sense the growing danger, and she tossed the same slicing hex that she had used on Dolohov at him in desperation, and to her astonishment, the curse hit its mark; blood welled up from a gash on his forearm. Shock mixed with rage registered on his face before he threw diffindo at her with the full strength of his power, which hit her hard in the stomach, sending her across the room and crashing into the wall. Professor Merrythought and Harry immediately rushed over to Hermione to assess her injuries. She had hit the wall so hard, she was knocked unconscious. Tom quickly healed the gash in his forearm, and rushed over to Hermione to show the proper amount of concern for her condition. The professor was able to wake her up after whispering enervate, then placing an immobulis charm on her, she asked Harry to escort her to the hospital wing. Tom of course, appeared to be stricken with worry since it was his curse that had caused her injury, so Professor Merrythought allowed him to go with them to the hospital wing as well. Harry wasn't fooled, however, he knew Tom's apologies were insincere at best.
Despite being in a full body bind so that she didn't risk further injuring herself as well as the aching ribs and pounding headache, Hermione seemed pretty pleased with herself; even though she had clearly lost the duel.
"Jones, why are you smiling like that?" Tom asked her, a note of annoyance in his voice.
"Because you clearly weren't expecting that I could hit you, and I did." Hermione said with entirely too much satisfaction evident in her tone.
"That, I assure you, will be the first and the last time, Jones." Tom said in a huff of irritation
Hermione continued to smile at him, and despite himself, he glanced down at her again, and the corner of his lips held the ghost of a smile. Merlin, this girl was strange.
Harry noticed the grin on Tom's face and his mood darkened. This was no good. He definitely was not about to turn a blind eye to whatever was happening between Tom and Hermione. Tom Riddle was bad news, and Harry was not going to step out of the way as he had for Ron. Ron, at least, was good, and Hermione had returned his feelings as far as he could tell. This though, was another kettle of fish entirely. He had to be careful not to blow his cover as her brother, but, that didn't mean he was going to allow it. Being Hermione's overprotective brother suddenly seemed like the perfect way to keep Riddle away from her.
"Why are you here, Riddle, Haven't you done enough damage for one day?" Harry snapped accusingly as he squeezed Hermione's hand.
"Harry, it was an accident. We were dueling, what did you think, that we would be flinging tickling hexes at each other?" Tom replied sarcastically.
Hermione snorted at that. The idea of the dark lord tickling his victims to death was too much.
Harry glared at Hermione's reaction, and as they reached the hospital wing, he pushed Hermione through the doors and faced Riddle, "You just stay away from her, Riddle." He spat before he slammed the doors in Tom's face.
"Harry! What's got into you? That was rude!" she chided.
Harry just gave her a look that basically just said, 'Really?!'
"Okay, so he's a bit rough around the edges…" Hermione started to say
"A bit? A BIT? Hermione…have you forgotten who we are talking about?" Harry asked incredulously.
"Of course not!" she snapped, "It's just that he hasn't turned into you-know-who yet, and I think…well, you know the muggle saying, 'You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar'…" Hermione trailed off.
"We're not catching flies here, Hermione! He's a psychopath! Ron nailed it when he said that you needed to sort out your priorities!" Harry said angrily and ran his hand threw his hair in frustration.
"Harry, please just trust me. Contrary to popular belief, I do not have a death wish. I know what I'm doing" she said trying to ease the tension.
"Well, it didn't bloody look like it back there." He said and then he sighed and sat down on her cot.
Before she could respond, a young Madam Pomfrey bustled over and made a shooing gesture to Harry so that she could properly assess her patient.
"Right, what happened here Miss Jones?" Madame Pomfrey asked while scanning Hermione with her wand.
"Dueling Championships." Was all Hermione said before Madame Pomfrey nodded and rolled her eyes.
"The lot of you will end up killing each other before that woman retires, mark my words" Madame Pomfrey mumbled sarcastically to herself.
"A cracked rib and a concussion, nothing life threatening at least. Take this" and she handed Hermione a small vial of skele-gro potion and a simple pain relieving potion.
"You'll have to spend the night here, I'm afraid, although you should be right as rain in the morning. Do try not to sleep for the next several hours though. I'll be back to check on you in a little while. Call if you need anything." And with that, Madame Pomfrey headed back into her office leaving Harry and Hermione alone once again.
"Harry, I'll be fine. Really. You should get back and keep an eye on Riddle." Hermione protested.
Harry sighed, and bent down to drop a chaste kiss on her forehead, conveying everything he couldn't say aloud to her, before he turned and headed out of the hospital wing.
Hermione touched the place on her head where Harry had kissed her, and felt a slight pang of guilt that the excitement she had felt at accidentally brushing Tom's bicep hadn't appeared just now with Harry. There was no denying it, she wanted Tom Marvolo Riddle.