To Claim and Possess
Chapter Six
)O(
Raven gasped and sat up, feeling disoriented and dizzy. The walls seemed to bow and flex, and she could swear the curtains moved on their own and the bookcases crept closer to her, as if they had legs. Groaning, she pressed a hand to her head, trying to take in her surroundings through the darkness that permeated her vision. The furnishings were familiar, the pictures were her own… she was in her room, but she had no memory of how she got there.
"Awake?"
"I think so."
"Good. Drink this."
A glass of water was pushed into her line of sight and she took it without question, gulping the contents down in only a few seconds. Her body wouldn't stop shaking and she spilled some of the water down her cheeks. Every time she closed her eyes, she saw faint reminders of what had happened in her dreams. Blood splashed across pavement, bones cracking like dry kindling, Beast Boy crying out to her, but through it all, she was unable to help. Unable to stop the scenes from playing out, and being forced to watch him die over and over.
Coughing, she pulled the glass away from her lips, gripping it so tight that it threatened to break in her hold.
"Give me that, before you hurt yourself." Phantom fingers wrapped around the empty glass and removed it from her trembling hands.
Silence engulfed her again, and a few more minutes passed before her eyes finally adjusted completely, and her lungs stopped vibrating violently with every breath. At the end of her bed, she managed to see the faint outline of Beast Boy, scowling at her. His eyes locked on to her own, and his expression softened a little, but it did nothing to ease her fears. Swallowing hard, she pulled away from him, waiting for the scene to melt into something terrifying and blood to taint this image.
Moments passed, and the foul images never came, but Raven still couldn't relax. Her muscles stayed bunched and her heart pounded in her ears. Was this a dream or was it reality? How could she tell the difference any more?
"Want to tell me what's going on?"
Raven glanced away before returning to face him, somehow managing to keep her face blank. "I don't know what you're talking about."
"I came home to find you passed out on the sofa… you were sweating like a whore in church." He didn't sound accusing or angry, but there was a note of concern and fear threading through his words. "And tossing and turning…" Pause. His hands fidgeted with the empty glass, but his eyes never left her own. "And you were calling out for me."
Raven winced, pushing her sweat-soaked hair from her face. How much had he heard? "Sorry… I was having a nightmare."
His concern deepened. "And I was in it?"
"Yes." Raven saw no reason to lie to him about that.
He put the glass on the floor by his feet and continued to stare at her. "Care to elaborate?"
"No." She would certainly keep the details from him though.
"Seriously?" He let a moment of silence hang between them, as if waiting for another response from her. When he received more silence, he continued. "Should I be concerned or something? I mean, you haven't had nightmares in a long time, not since Trigon… are you sure you're okay?"
"I'm fine."
His eyes narrowed, obviously seeing through her lies. Sometimes she really hated that he had learned to read her. Why couldn't he still be the ditzy, oblivious Beast Boy he always was before? He ran a finger over the back of her arm, wiping perspiration off her skin. "Uh-huh. You're swimming in your own sweat, and you consider that 'fine'?"
"Yes." She looked away before glancing back at him, forcing her lips down into a frown. Now that her head had stopped spinning, her skin had started to vibrate and crawl, as if her soul was going to escape its earthly chains. She pressed a hand to her forehead and mumbled her mantra under her breath, trying to hold on to what little control she had left.
"Anyway, what are you doing in my room? You know you're not allowed unless I'm in here… and conscious." She added that as an afterthought.
He rolled his eyes. "Jeez, Rae, I'm not a kid anymore. You can stop treating me like one any time now."
"I am not treating you like a child." She pushed more hair out of her face, ignoring the ringing in her ears. "I am protecting my territory, I thought of all things you would understand that." As soon as the words left her mouth, she regretted them. Wincing, she looked away again. There was no reason for her to act like that. This was her friend, her closest friend, and she knew what kind of torture he was going through. In fact, she had the unpleasant opportunity to experience it first-hand, so she should have been more understanding and sympathetic. "I'm sorry… I didn't mean that."
"Mm." He nodded, lips twitching in irritation. He looked down at his hands before responding. His eyes met hers again and there was a dark fire she hadn't noticed before. He was angry, but he was trying to keep a hold on it. "You went wandering into my dreams, so I guess I do understand why you would be so protective of your own territory."
Raven winced again. It was always a possibility that the dreamer would know of the walker's presence, but Raven had been hoping he missed her. Apparently that was a stupid, useless hope. She cleared her throat and looked at him, face blank. "By accident."
"Accident?"
"I… there was a door, and I wandered through it." She prayed that he couldn't hear the tremble in her voice. "I didn't realize it lead to your dreams until it was too late. I'm sorry."
"Uh-huh…" He crossed his arms over his chest and stared her down, once again seeing through her lies. "And why am I finding this really hard to believe? You know better than to go wandering through random doors, Raven… hell, you've taught me that." He dropped his voice low and even, as if trying to imitate her tone. "'You never know where strange doors lead to, stay away from them unless you're sure.'"
Her eyes narrowed, but she made no move to defend herself against his teasing. "So, I wasn't paying attention and I made a mistake. I'm part human, I can make mistakes just like the rest of you." She tried to shrug it off, but his incredulous expression didn't change. "Look, it was the door to the roof and I thought it went…" She trailed off as if something clicked in her head. "Never mind. What are you doing home so early anyway?"
"I was bored." He shrugged and picked at invisible lint on her bedspread. "It's just not as much fun when you're not there."
Raven rolled her eyes. "I'm the boring one, remember?"
"So, joking about clubs, people-watching, and trying to make ridiculous back-stories for the club-goers… that's not fun?"
Okay, she had forgotten about the games they used to play together at clubs to pass the time. It was always a joke to see who could come up with the best back-story for the people there. Beast Boy, she learned at their first team-club-experience, was easily bored with dancing (and also not very good at it), and liked joking around with her. He made some pretty funny back-stories for people.
"I missed having you there to hang out with. You keep me entertained… you know what, never mind. I'm not getting into this." He stopped picking at her bedspread and pointed a finger at her. "Besides, this isn't about me, it's about you. Specifically, why you wandered into my dreams when I explicitly told you not to."
"I was distracted and I wasn't paying attention." Raven shrugged, keeping her face blank. She didn't want to tell him what was happening, there was something inside her that knew what would happen to him. He was already wound too tight because of Adonis and the beast by themselves, and Raven could only imagine what his reaction would be when he discovered that Adonis was lurking in the recesses of her psyche. So, she played the whole situation off. It was better that way, well… safer anyhow.
"Besides, I wanted to see what kind trash you found to come home with you from the bar. I thought your dreams might be filled with her." That was a low blow and she knew that, but she couldn't seem to stop herself. Every time she thought about some other girl, she felt vindictive and poisonous. Why was she so mad at him anyway? She took a deep breath and looked away, feigning nonchalance. "You said you weren't coming home, so I assumed you'd find some blonde fangirl with loose legs."
"That's what you think of me? That I'm just going to take home any girl who wants to drop her panties?" It was his turn to roll his eyes. "Raven, I only told you that because you went out of your way to insult me. I got mad and said something I didn't mean." He sighed and pulled his legs up on her bed, moving closer to her. "You should have more faith in me than believing I would take home a random. My self-esteem isn't that low."
Raven's face colored. "You weren't going to…" She trailed off.
"Of course not." He sneered. "Do you think I want to smell like cotton candy and cheap vodka? Let alone catch whatever nastiness is clinging to some girl I don't know. Jeez, Rae. Seriously, have a little faith in me."
Embarrassment sunk into her as she realized what she had done. She had just assumed that her friend (whom she'd known for almost six years) was a man-slut, because she didn't know how to sort out her own feelings or emotions. She sighed. "I'm sorry… I didn't mean…" She trailed off, holding a hand to her forehead. "This is all my fault."
Beast Boy raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, it is." He reached out and took her hand, his skin cool against her heated body. He ran his thumb over her skin, looking into her eyes. Small electrical shocks speared her arm, and she fought the urge to move closer to him. He smelled faintly of summer rain and bourbon, and something about it made her want to crawl into his arms and fall asleep.
"Raven, what is going on? This isn't you. You don't fight and bitch and whine, you kick my ass when I do something wrong. You threaten me with bodily harm and incurable curses. You tell me the truth when something is bothering you. Whatever is going on with you now… it's not you. I thought we were friends for a reason…"
Friends.
The word conjured up images of her naked body pressed against him, crying into the night. What she saw in his fantasy was not something friends did. A picture frame shattered across the room, breaking the silence between them. Raven flushed red and she snapped her hand away, tucking it into her lap. "You're right. I always tell you the truth… I trust you and you're always there for me."
"Well, at least you know that." He glanced down at her hand before looking into her face. "So, what is this Raven? I thought we said that we would work through this together. All of it. You. Me." He shuddered. "This whole thing with Adonis… I thought that we planned to help each other no matter what happened."
Her face paled, and her hand instinctively touched her left shoulder, feeling the scars ripple under her touch. She glanced away before looking at him. "You're right." She repeated herself, more to ease her nerves than to admit he was right. "We did. Sort of."
Raven had to admit that the memory of agreeing to work through this bizarre mess was somewhat hazy. Between him confessing that he accidentally marked her and his mock kisses to remind her that sex was more than just a physical act, she was lucky she could remember what room they were in, let alone what was said to each other. Color flooded her face at the memory of his hands on her, and she looked away. That was not something she wanted to think about right now. "That's what this is about. Adonis."
"Adonis?" His pupils dilated and his nostrils flared as he fought something deep and heavy inside him. Raven could feel the air around him twist and congeal, turning into something thick. He stared into her eyes, frowning. "What about Adonis?"
"Well, for starters…" She tugged at the collar of her tee shirt, pulling it down to expose her scarred shoulder. "We have a serious problem. Adonis marked me."
Beast Boy stared at her shoulder before looking back into her face. "He… what?"
The force of his emotions was so powerful, that Raven had to pull away before something threatened to explode. He was holding precariously onto his control, and she could feel the beast trying to break free. The overwhelming desire to protect him and her own self flooded her psyche, and it took several long, quiet minutes before she managed to grab hold of sanity again.
Staring at his shaking hands she realized, in a moment of lucid resolve, that this was no longer solely her concern. Beast Boy had as much stake in this as she did. As much as she wanted to alienate herself to protect him, she shouldn't. The beast was lurking inside him, clawing at him, clawing at her, and she was tired of running and tired of fighting. His body was host to a metaphysical being that he did not always fully understand, and as his friend (and often his family) she was obligated to help him. Plus, it was the right thing to do, no matter how secret or confusing the emotions and feelings were between them. Raven swallowed whatever concerns were plaguing her, and stared into his eyes.
They were going to fix this together.
"It must have happened at the café three days ago. I don't know if he did it on purpose, or if it was an accident, but he marked me. The same way that you did." That came out a bit harsher than she had anticipated, and Raven recoiled slightly the force of her own words. "I didn't mean it like that."
"It's… it's okay. It's the truth." He looked away, his breath loud and raucous in the silence of the room. "I marked you like property. You don't deserve this, but I can't do this without you. So, I guess this is our problem together, and we'll fix it together…"
"I'm sensing a 'but' to this statement."
"I don't want this to tear us apart."
He said it so plainly that Raven wasn't entirely sure it was his own mouth speaking. He looked into her eyes and she could see his own resolve reflected back at her, but something twisted just out of her reach. Something she wasn't sure she could name or understand.
"Don't be like that. You're supposed to be the happy, positive one in this relationship." She tried to joke, but his blank stare proved (once again) that her jokes were useless on him. She leaned forward, closer to him, and blocked out the surge of emotions he felt at her proximity. "We're friends, Gar… family, basically. We've been through worse and came out fine in the end. You've gone and saved me from the depths of Hell. The least I can do is help you survive yours."
His lips twitched as he fought a smile. "Living with you is my hell."
Raven bit back a snort and raised an eyebrow, trying to keep her face blank. "Likewise."
He reached out and tugged on hair, teasing her. "At least we both admit it." He leaned back against her bed and watched her for a moment, letting the seriousness of the situation slide between them. The ease of their conversation faded away and left them staring into the face of the truth: that they had a huge issue that neither one of them fully understood.
Beast Boy looked at her from hooded eyes and mumbled, "What are we going to do?"
"We're going to figure this out. We're going to succeed. It's what we always do." Raven tried to seem positive, but knew that wasn't necessarily in her nature to be anything resembling "a glass half-full" person. She rubbed her forehead, trying to block of the shadows of memories that clung to her skin. "We've got a team of superheroes to help us, and you've got a half-demon witch on your side. We are not alone. We'll get through it."
He snorted, but the severity in his eyes stayed. "You're surprisingly optimistic for being… you."
Raven rolled her eyes. "Thanks for your vote of confidence." She pushed her hair out of her eyes again and watched him stare at the ceiling, debating whether or not she should drop the rest of the bomb concerning Adonis. He deserved to know the truth, but at the same time she knew that he couldn't take much more stress. She could feel the beast clawing at him, fighting to break free from Beast Boy's control, and all of that energy and emotion was taking a toll on his psyche. He was breaking apart from the inside out, and Raven knew he couldn't take much more before he collapsed in on himself.
But even still, she promised herself that she would trust him, and that they would work through this together. Taking a deep breath, she steeled her resolve and looked him in the eyes. "Adonis marking me isn't our only problem."
"Oh, god…" He groaned and threw a hand over his eyes, as if he was trying to block out any more bad news. "What else is there?"
"He must have some kind of link with me." She pushed her covers off of her and stood up, feeling like she was at a disadvantage while she was cocooned in her bed. "A mental link. After I feel asleep, I started to dream, and in my dream I felt him. I didn't see him, but I felt him. He was there, touching me, talking to me, accessing my memories." She shook her head and began to pace the length of her room, feeling Beast Boy's own emotions start to boil under pressure. "He was there, Gar. Every time I moved, so did he. He twisted each memory I every had of us into something deplorable. That's why I was having nightmares. He found me in my own dreams and he attacked."
Beast Boy choked on his own air. "Raven…"
She stopped pacing for a moment, trying to offer him a reassuring smile, but knew that it fell flat on her lips. "That's the real reason I entered your dreams. I didn't mean to. Really, I didn't, but what was I supposed to do? Every precious memory I had he attacked me in. My birthday two years ago. That time I recklessly saved you from Plasmus. Our first cook-out together as a team. Every memory. There wasn't one that he didn't touch and defile."
He stood up. "Raven… why… why didn't you tell me?"
"This is the first time this happened…" She sighed and continued pacing again, feeling her powers try to break free of their own chains. A few books upended themselves and fell open on her floor. She stopped to pick them up before continuing on her path. "I don't know what triggered it tonight, or why he was able to attack me, but he did. And I doubt it will be the last time. He knew what memories were special to me, and how to attack them. He will not hesitate to attack again, I know that for sure. What I don't know is what he will do next time."
Beast Boy ran a hand over his face. "We have to fix this."
"I know." Raven took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I know… but I'm not even sure how to fix this. He shouldn't be able to do this. He shouldn't be able to dreamwalk. He's just a creature, just another monster." She saw Beast Boy wince as she said the word, but she couldn't register his pain. The truth was that Adonis was a monster. Beast Boy at least had control. "He shouldn't be able to access the memories the way he did. Whatever he is doing, he either has help, or he learned to access my powers… which is a whole different debacle that I don't even what to think about, let alone touch upon."
Beast Boy paled. "Access your powers? Can he do that? Can I do that?"
"I don't have another explanation…" Raven felt like her mind was going in a million different directions at once, and she was suddenly confused on how she was actually caring on a coherent conversation with Beast Boy right now. In fact, she was confused on how she managed to focus on a single thought each second. She pinched the bridge of her nose and stopped moving, trying to keep the walls from spinning around her. "You know what, I don't have any explanation. That is the only thing I can possible think of at this moment, as much as it doesn't make sense."
"I mean… it could…"
"Please… Gar, think about what you're about to say…" Raven felt the color leave her face and she had to sit down at her desk, looking across the room at him. "Adonis would be able to access my powers through our bond. Let's not even consider how powerful and dangerous that could possibly be. I do not want to think that a recently released criminal, running from our team, has the potential to access my powers. Even if the only power he can access is the ability to dreamwalk…" She shuddered. "No. I just don't want to think about it."
"Raven…" He trailed off and let his head fall into his hands, as if admitting defeat. "I can't think about this right now. It's almost two o'clock in the morning, the others are going to come home any minute, and we're up in your room trying to figure out if Adonis and I can access your powers through our accidental bond with you. This is the stupidest and most asinine thing to be doing at this hour." He mumbled a few curse words and dropped to her bed again.
"I know…" She ran a hand through her hair. "I know… but what else are we going to do?"
"Not this at two o'clock in the morning?" He leaned down and picked up a book that had flown off the shelf, running his fingers over the spine. "I mean… it'll still be here in the morning, won't it?"
"Yes… but what if I'm not?"
He rolled his eyes and sighed. "You don't have to be so dramatic."
"I've got Adonis knocking around in my memories, I think I deserve a few dramatics in all of this."
"Okay, good point…" He trailed off and let the silence fall between them again, continuing to fidget with the books in his hands. "So, now what? We just keep fighting and talking about this until we pass out? Or worse? I've seen you when you're tired,Raven, things explode and we all get sent into another dimension. Or, we have another reenactment of Wicked Scary."
"Okay, okay… you also have a point…" Raven took a deep breath and leaned forward, resting her forearms on her knees. Looking at him in the faint light of Jump City skyline, she saw his own exhaustion on his face, and she realized that she had woken him up from his own sleep. It was yet another reminder that she wasn't the only one fighting demons in this battle. They were both mentally beaten, worn through until they were raw and threadbare, and she knew that if they didn't get this under control, they were going to fall apart.
But, if Raven wanted to be honest with herself, she would admit that she was afraid to fall back asleep. She knew what waited for her in her dreams. The moment she closed her eyes, she would be forced to relive the defilement of her dreams and memories again. She would be forced to feel Adonis's hands on her body, his breath on her neck, and this time, who knows what else he would do to her? If he could torture her beyond measure in the few hours she was asleep, what could he do with the rest of the night? Raven didn't want to find out.
She bit back a curse and stood up, walking away from Beast Boy.
He growled low and soft in his throat, annoyed with something. "I know you're worried about falling asleep, Raven. You don't have to hide it from me."
Damnit. He read her so well. She turned around and kept her face blank. "You weren't there, Gar… you don't know what he did to me. Every memory of us, was turned into something morbid and perverse. Memories that I cherished. Moments that meant more to me than anything else were turned into a game for him, just some fun, sick way to torture me… I don't know how much more I can handle of it, and I was only asleep for a few hours."
Beast Boy looked away, color flooding his face. "So… stay with me." His ears drooped, as if he were ashamed or embarrassed of something. He mumbled something under his breath before continuing. "I mean… you can stay in my dreams… if you want."
At the mention of his dreams, Raven's own face burned bright red and she turned to look out her window, suddenly fascinated with a barge floating by in the bay. "I don't want to bother you. That's your territory, Gar…" She trailed off debating on whether or not she should admit to him that she saw his fantasy. She decided not to go down that path first. "Those are your personal emotions and memories, and it's not right for me to invade them."
He sighed. "Raven, we don't have to beat around the bush… I know you saw my fantasy."
Raven turned around and looked at him. "Your fantasy?"
He sighed again, not quite meeting her eyes. "You don't have to play that game. We both know that you know that was my fantasy." He held up his hand before she could deny his accusation, effectively stopping her. "Look, I don't want to talk about it right now, because I'm exhausted and I don't trust any of the words that could possibly come out of my mouth… also it's super embarrassing, but I don't want us to ignore it either." He rubbed the back of his head and groaned. "Let's just both admit that you saw my dream, and leave it at that, okay?"
Raven ignored the heavy, sinking feeling in her stomach and nodded. Was he ashamed to admit his fantasy to her? And why in the world did that hurt? She shook off her concerns and pretended to be unaffected. "Okay… but, I still don't want to go walking into your dream again, Gar. What if I can't outrun him this time? What if he manages to follow me in? Or worse, what if I bring my own tortured dreams with me and you are forced to watch them too? There are too many variables in this scenario, and I don't trust any of them."
"So, you're just going to stay in your own dreams and watch me die for eight hours every night?" He snorted and rolled his eyes. "That sounds like a great way to make yourself certifiably crazy."
"Thanks for your vote of confidence." Raven returned his eye-roll and looked back out the window. "I just don't want to chance it. It's too risky and it's too dangerous, and I don't want to put either of us in a situation that dangerous. The answer is no. It's not happening."
"I think it should. One night is not going to hurt us." He stood up and walked next to her looking out the window. He paused, and she felt him trying to work up the courage to finish his proposition. "Let's make a compromise then. For the rest of tonight, you can stay in my dreams… I know it's… awkward."
That was putting it mildly.
"But it's safe, for right now. And tomorrow morning we'll work on fixing this together." He fidgeted for a moment, eyes following the same barge that slid through the still waters of the bay. "It's not supposed to be a permanent fix, but it'll give you a little bit of rest and you won't have to watch me die for the rest of the night."
Raven sighed and looked over at him. "You're not going to let this go, are you?"
He gave a sad, broken smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. "No."
"Then let's just save us both time and I'll concede." She stepped back, effectively putting space between them. "Albeit reluctantly."
"Somehow that doesn't make me feel any better."
"If it's any consolation, it doesn't make me feel any better either."
"It's not, but thanks for sharing." He offered a low chuckle, breaking the tension in the air.
On the floor below them, they could hear the sound of the living room doors opening and Starfire drunkenly stumbling into the tower as Robin attempted to hold her upright.
"Robin! Cyborg went home with Bumblebee – it was so nice to see her, I did not anticipate her arrival – and Raven and Beast Boy have retired to their sleeping quarters… that means that we are alone. Are we not? If so, then I propose that we shall do that thing you like to do! That one with the handcuffs and the-"
"Starfire!"
"What? That is your favorite game is it not?"
"Well… I…"
Raven looked over at Beast Boy who was as red as she was. She cleared her throat and looked back out the window, listening as Robin pulled her down the hall, toward their wing of rooms and away from Raven's innocence.
"Well, that was something I did not need to hear in my life time."
"I guess if Robin was going to have a fetish it would be handcuffs."
Raven snorted. "Meaning he can't ever let go of the job?"
"Or the job can't let go of him… you know, until it's time for the job to be done."
Raven turned to him and raised an eyebrow. "That was such a tactless joke."
He laughed. "When have you ever known me to be tactful?"
"Good point."
)O(
I know that this wasn't exactly as long as some of the other chapters, so I hope you'll forgive me. Also, I had several reviews last chapter about not making Raven whiny/dramatic and I caught myself making the same mistakes I did with Primeval. That being said, I need reminders to keep me on track or I'll meander down a path I do not want to go.
Anyway, I believe this story will be wrapping up in the next four chapters or so, so I hope you'll stick with me until then (Raven turns super BA in the last chapter and the scenes I have planned make me giddy to write). Anyway, let me know what you think. Thanks again for reading!