To Claim and Possess

by Xaphrin

A fight with Adonis forces Beast Boy to fully confront his primal nature and the beast living inside him. This encounter is not by chance, and the beast pursues Raven, claiming she is his mate. But Beast Boy and his beast are not the only ones fighting for Raven. Adonis will not let her go either, and he will stop at nothing to make sure Beast Boy loses. Primeval rewrite.

9. Chapter Eight

To Claim and Possess
Chapter Eight

"Raven!" Beast Boy threw the door open to her room, fur rippling across his skin as the door hissed open. Through her torturous dreams, Raven could hear him calling out to her, his voice breaking through the searing pain that erupted from her dreams. She felt his warm hands wrap around her shoulders and shake violently, her mind releasing itself from the dream as her body broke the chains of sleep. She pushed at the heavy covers surrounding her, tumbling from the mattress to the floor as violent sobs wracked her body.

"Raven." Beast Boy fell next to her on the carpet, dragging her body into his arms. He cradled her against his chest the same way a parent cradled their child after a nightmare. "Shhh. Raven, I'm here. You're safe. I'm safe."

Her fingers fisted in his hair, trying to simultaneously bring him closer to her and push him away to keep space between them. She fought against his arms, trying to control her breath as his hold threatened to crush her. Tears streamed from her eyes as she tried to block out the images that she was forced to endure, and embarrassment colored her face as she realized that Beast Boy (of all people) was watching her cry.

"Beast Boy. I'm all right. I'm fine." She pushed at his arms again and they loosened slightly. "I'm here. I'm safe. You woke me up in enough time... so, thank you, and can you let me go?"

Her eyes swept up to meet his own, and she was suddenly very aware of how close they were. In the dream it was one thing, they were simply projections of their selves and bodies, but here in reality, they were physically this close, and there really needed to be more boundaries between them. She swallowed hard and tried to pull back a bit more, but her shoulders connected with the edge of her mattress and she was pinned between them. Her pillow exploded behind her, sending fluffy, downy stuffing all over the room. Beast Boy seemed unconcerned, nor did he seem to notice the small amount of space she placed between them.

"I'm fine," she repeated herself, hoping he didn't hear the waver in her voice. "Trust me... so, can you let me go now? You're holding me tighter than Starfire does."

His arms relaxed slightly, and one of his hands moved to cupped her face, his touch trembling against her cheek. "Why did you close the door, Raven? Why didn't you let me in? I should have gone after you. I could have helped you."

"Because I didn't want you to." Raven pulled his hand off of her skin, placing it back in his lap. "I'm perfectly capable of defending myself against Adonis." She wasn't, but she didn't want Beast Boy to start worrying over her mental stability as her psyche was ripped to shreds by a ravenous beast. Details, details.

"Really? Raven, you can't handle that by yourself..." His voice dropped dangerously low and he stared at her, a snarl forming at the edges of his lips as fur rippled along his skin. "He ripped you from my dream. Not prevented you from entering, but full on attacked. He found a way to break the barrier and attacked you in a place that was supposed to be safe. A place that was supposed to be your sanctuary. We now have full proof that there's nothing he can't do and won't do to reach you. We're fucked. Royally fucked. The least you could have done was let me help."

"I know." Raven stopped fighting against his hold, her lips tugging down in a defeated frown. "I know. Okay? I know how dangerous this is, and you're right, I needed help when he attacked. I can't do this on my own, but you..." she trailed off and looked away. "I don't want you to get hurt. I fucked up by chasing after him. I provoked him. I drew him out. That was my stupid decision and you shouldn't have to clean up after my mess."

She sighed and glanced back at him. "You were right about him. You were right about everything."

"Raven... don't beat yourself up because you made a mistake." He moved back, giving her much needed space to breathe, the tension between them broken. "It's okay. I've fucked up too, you know. Remember my own debacle with Terra and how well that went? Both for me personally and the rest of the team?"

He sighed and Raven felt a wave of guilt was over her as his own memories were dredged up from the bottom. She reached out and covered his hand with her own, trying to ignore the sparks of electricity that swept under the surface of her skin.

He looked back at her, his eyes dark as he closed the space he had just offered her. "I'm just really sorry that I couldn't give you the answers you wanted, Raven. I should have been more understanding to what was happening to you, and I wasn't. I was just concerned with me, and that's not fair. I put you in that position, so I have just as much blame in this as everyone else." He picked up his free hand and cupped her cheek. "I should have followed you. I should have had answers, and I didn't. I'm so sorry."

Raven sat frozen in place as he moved closer to her. She could smell the scent of warm earth and pine, see the way his lips trembled and his pupils dilated.

Then his lips touched her cheek, forming the ghost of a kiss.

And her second pillow exploded.

Beast Boy chuckled and pulled away quickly, looking a little sheepish. He picked white pillow filling from his hair and looked away, giving her space again. "Sorry, Rae. I guess I should remember that there's a difference between kissing you in my dream and kissing you in reality. There are a few more dangers when we're here."

Raven opened her mouth to respond, but nothing came out, and Beast Boy climbed to his feet and threw himself over her bed, scattering more filling over the room. She looked up at him, draped across her sheets as one hand dangled over the edge of the bed, drawing random, invisible patterns on her carpet. This interaction suddenly felt strange between them, like a front he was trying to throw up to pretend that there was some semblance of normalcy. They should have both been emotional wrecks, trying to figure out what to do and how to handle the situation, but instead, he was lying around her room as if it were just another lazy afternoon.

Part of her was grateful that she didn't have to talk about what happened between them in her dream, because it was too embarrassing to face on her own. But another part of her was slightly hurt by it. She wanted to talk about what had happened. She wanted to figure out… what, exactly? If the emotional gasoline that they had thrown on the fire was hers or his? Raven drew her legs toward her chest and rested her chin on her knees, hoping he couldn't see the confusion and disappointment in her eyes.

"So, what now? We're... a mess, to put it lightly. You've got Adonis banging around in your head, and you probably won't come into my dreams, or we'll have to relive that freaking disaster... again..." He trailed off and looked into her eyes as she readjusted her position on the floor. "So what? What are we going to do?"

Raven shrugged. "I don't know. If I don't dream, he won't come to me."

"Don't you go crazy if you don't dream? Or, sleep for that matter?" He sighed and rolled his eyes, looking down at her from his position on the bed. "That doesn't sound very productive or useful. In fact, that sounds like a fast track to another Dr. Light episode."

"Thanks for your vote of confidence." She rolled her eyes. "I don't know what else we can do. I don't really have another choice. I won't go into your mind again."

"At least in my mind both of us are fighting him, you know." He slid off the bed to sit next to her, taking the comforter with him and wrapping it around both of their shoulders. "You don't have to carry this responsibility on your own. You promised me that we would try and fix this together, that's all I want to do, Raven."

"I didn't expect for Adonis to attack the way he did. It's an entirely different fight now, Beast Boy." Raven pulled her knees closer to her and stared blankly at the carpet, trying to keep the horrific images from replaying in her mind. "I'm not going to put you through that, Beast Boy." She shivered and leaned back against the bed behind her. "You don't know what happens in my mind, and I don't want anyone to have to suffer the way I do..."

"Let me in." His hand stroked over her shoulder and down her arm, warming the cooled, clammy skin. "I don't care about you trying to protect me, Raven. I want to help you, that's why I opened my mind for you. That's why I'm here. I don't have to help, but I want to." He groaned, feeling obviously frustrated as he leaned back against her mattress. "Raven, don't turn me away like this. Let me try to help you."

Raven looked over at him, trying to ignore how close he was to her, and trying to ignore the warmth he generated as they shared her comforter. Just one movement and she could be back in his… she winced, forcing to keep her mind focused. She wasn't in his mind anymore. There were real consequences to having a relationship with a team member. She took a deep, calming breath and finally responded to him. "I'm not trying to hide from you, Beast Boy, I'm trying to protect you. Yes, I knew that Adonis was trying to attack me, but I grossly underestimated the lengths to which he would go to possess me. I will not wrap you up in that because I made the mistake of getting caught in a fight with him."

"He would have done it whether or not you went after him. He would have tried to track you down regardless. He's monster, Raven, and monsters don't know when to quit." Beast Boy continued to stare at her before rolling his eyes and looking away, shoving at his hair. He wiggled out from under the covers he had wrapped around the two of them and stood up. "Never mind. We're not going to fight on this, because we'll be at it all night, and eventually we should get some sleep… including you." He paused, letting his words sink in. "So, if you aren't going to sleep, then what are you going to do?"

"What I do best." Raven stood up, placing the comforter on her bed. "I'm going to read."

)O(

"You've been holding out considerably well." Claws trailed down her arm, leaving traces of red as they moved over her alabaster skin. "Much better than I expected... but I never thought you would try to avoid your dreams all together. How very reckless of you."

Raven tried not to look at the images that surrounded her, but it was hard to avoid them when she was trapped within the walls of her own mind. In front of her sat Beast Boy's head, decapitated and impaled on a stick. She felt the claws drag back up her arms, biting into the tender flesh before wrapping slowly around her neck, spreading across her jaw line.

"You tried so hard to fight me. So hard to run back to your precious Beast Boy... how does it feel to know you have lost?"

She felt the claws sink deeper into her flesh, maneuvering her head and forcing her to stare at the gory image until it felt like it was permanently burned into her retinas. Silent tears streamed down her face, but she refused to let a sob cross her lips, not for him. Instead, she clung to the memory of Beast Boy's kiss, still lingering on her lips like a tattoo. Sometimes it felt like the only thing that kept her from going insane.

"I would have thought you'd have given up by now, little bird. But, you are stronger than I imagined, that is a somewhat desirable quality in a mate of mine. The more you resist me..."The claws tightened on her throat, feeling like a vice on her vertebrae and brainstem. If his muscles simply twitched, he could have snapped the column like a twig, but doing that would have killed her and ended the game, and he wasn't ready for that just yet. "… the stronger my desire to possess you becomes. It's such a fun game, isn't it? This cat-and-mouse we play?"

"This is no game." Raven stared at the severed head in front of her, mouth hung ajar as if in a perpetual, silent scream and blood oozing from behind his lips. She steeled herself against the claws as they bit deeper into her body, breaking the skin and letting crimson spill down the back of her neck. She refused to acknowledge Adonis crawling around in her dreams, ripping her precious memories to shreds as he attacked her from inside her psyche. He wasn't going to win. She was going to fix this.

"Come now, Raven. You know you can't last forever."One of the phantom claws slid down the length of her spine, shredding her clothes in half. He pushed the tattered pieces of her uniform off of her, his furred, clawed hands moving over her bare skin. "This resistance from you is silly and futile. Give in to me and I will stop this torture. Accept me as your mate and I will release you from this pain. I will let you have some amount of reprieve."

"No."

"No?"Hot, putrid breath slid down her neck, making her feel slimy and used. "You don't have much of a choice, do you? I could simply break your neck here and leave you paralysed in your own dreams, Raven. Forced to sit here and watch until you wake up... and who knows how long that could be." His hand moved to the front of her body, and Raven watched as it traveled over her pale skin. "Or, I could just take you here."

"That would serve no purpose." Raven tried to move, but his claws slashed into her skin, punishing her for her insolence. She bit back a curse, and continued to stare forward. "Claiming me here in my dream does nothing for you in reality."

His claws slashed into her hip, erasing the scar that Beast Boy had branded into her. He did this almost every time she ventured into her own dreams, and while the pain was nothing new, it still hurt like hell. She bit back her scream, instead letting curses drip between clenched teeth and continuing to stare at Beast Boy's visage in front of her.

"I am not your possession. I am not your mate." She closed her mind against the push of his violent mind against the already tender strings of her psyche. "Do what you want with me, but I will not submit to you."

His claws tightened in her flesh. "It is not about submission. It is about control."

"Raven."

She forced her eyes open, trying to wipe the dredges of her terror from her mind as a hand traveled down the length of her arm. She picked her head up from the book she had fallen asleep on, wiping at her cheek (which she was positive now had backwards text plastered on it) and groaned. How long had she been asleep for?

"Raven. Jeez, girl. You can't study all night, that's not good for you. You look terrible."

Cyborg.

Raven wiped at her eyes, mumbling under her breath as the images from her dreams refused to release their control on her. Her limbs trembled with exhaustion and fear as she moved to look at her friend. It must have been at least three days since she had a deep, restful sleep, and instead she was catching moments of light, dreamless sleep when her body felt too broken to carry on. This was the first time she had fallen far enough to start to dream, and Adonis had taken full advantage of the situation, tormenting her with whatever he could. This had to stop soon, or she was going to disintegrate.

She shoved at her hair and looked up at her friend, frowning. "Thank you for waking me up... I've got a lot more work to do. I can't be sleeping for much longer."

"Much longer? You haven't slept in days!"

Raven offered him a half-hearted shrug as her shaking hands reached for another book in front of her. She fumbled through the pages as her vision slid in and out of focus, wondering if Robin still had his secret stash of energy drinks hidden in the crisper drawer in the fridge. Maybe another shot of caffeine was all she needed to keep going, although she highly doubted it.

Damnit. She had already read this book, and there was nothing useful in it.

"Tell me you have an update on Adonis." She shoved at her hair again as she reached for another book. There had to be something in one of her stupid, ancient tomes about what was happening to her. She couldn't have been the first person in all of history to have this happen to her. "Tell me you found his whereabouts so I can punch his stupid, slimy face into the ground and spit on his grave."

"Whoa, girl. Calm down there before to rupture something." Cyborg held up his hands defensively as he shook his head, guilt lining his eyes. "Unfortunately, no such luck in finding his sorry ass. We've scoured every inch of his usual hideouts, but we came up empty. Not even an empty beer can or take-out to say he's been there recently. Whatever skills that beast is giving him, it's certainly helping him become a better criminal."

Raven rubbed her temples and glared at him. "Thanks for reminding me."

"Sorry." He sighed and leaned against the back of the chair, his eyes never leaving her face. "I know that this isn't what you want, but it's the best I can do right now. When we lost him at the coffee shop, we lost him. We haven't seen him, we haven't heard anything from him. I mean, I would have thought that he would have at least wanted to rob a bank or cause some kind of mayhem, but it's been quiet."

"Too quiet." Raven slammed her book closed and somehow managed not to throw it on the ground in a curse. "He's planning something, I know it. He's waiting for me to break, and I'm not going to. I'm going to find him first and then I'm going to rip him limb from limb and shove all of his body parts in different dimensions."

"Oooookay. That's scary." He continued to stare at her, eyes never leaving her face. "You wanna tell me what the hell is going on?"

"No." She paged through another book. "No, I do not."

"Okay." There was a long pause before he broke it again. "Well, I'm not leaving until we talk this out, because you are about one popped blood vessel from bringing the tower down around our ears, and that cannot be healthy."

"Mm… I don't remember you being a doctor."

"Cran-ky."

Cyborg watched her for another moment, his emotions just as confused and tumultuous as her own. Finally, he sighed and pulled out a chair next to the long conference table. He plopped down in the chair and looked at the mess that surrounded the petite girl, spilling down onto the floor. "Jeez, girl. I don't think you could have made more of a mess if you tried. You're usually so damn neat you put anal-retentive Robin to shame." He pushed a few scrolls and books out of the way, barely looking at the titles as he moved them. "And you've been in here for days... when was the last time you actually slept?"

Raven shrugged and pretended to be interested in an ancient tome in front of her. She didn't want to admit to him that she was at her wit's end, and she was pretty sure she hadn't seen sunlight in over three days. "Well, you just woke me up from a cat nap. So, that counts as sleep right?"

He rolled his eyes and snorted. "Ah, no. Not really. Although that certainly explains the attitude. You just need a nap."

"Stop comparing me to a child."

Silence surrounded them again, and Cyborg shifted uncomfortably in his seat as he tried to weave the conversation back towards Raven and whatever the hell was going on with her. He was obviously concerned about her health and sanity, but knew that crossing the wrong borders could end in serious failure. And possible lost limbs. "So... what are you studying? I mean, you've been holed up in here for so long, I'm not even sure what you're researching any more."

"Metaphysical and magical bonds and how those bonds react on any particular level, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. And how to contain, sever, or abolish those bonds depending on their type or origin." Raven turned the page, glancing up at her friend before returning to her book. "It's a wide and varied subject, so I have a lot of material to go through."

Cyborg stared at her blankly.

She sighed and stared at him. "It's kind of like saying I want to research the history of every sport car ever made, where it came from, and how I can use it."

"Oh." He looked at the mess again. "I can see why you're at your wit's end."

"Mm." She let silence fall over them again as she turned another page, but when he didn't leave, she looked back up at him. "Is there something else, Cy?"

"You're falling apart."

"What?" Raven jerked back, surprised at his accusation. He had said the words so blatantly and so calmly and without any prologue, that it almost felt like he was trying to have an intervention with her. Raven knew she was a little worse for wear, but she certainly didn't think that she was falling apart. "I'm what?"

He sighed again. "Falling apart, Rae. I mean it. Look at yourself. You're a mess. You haven't slept in days, you're speaking gibberish, and you've barely seen any of the other team members. Hell, I bet you don't even know what time or day it is."

"Monday at midnight."

"Try Tuesday at three in the morning. See, you're falling apart." He ran a hand over his face and leaned back in the chair, staring at her. "Rae, what is going on? I mean, I know that this whole thing between you and BB is rough, and I will admit that I don't completely understand it or what is happening to you but..." He sighed, rubbing his head and reaching out to close the book open in front of her. She yelped out of anger and surprise, but made no move to try and open the book again. After all, she knew better than to fight with Cyborg.

"But, you're not like this. I can tell when there's something more than green bean bothering you."

Raven rubbed at her red rimmed eyes, feeling the remains of dried tears crumble beneath her touch. How long had she been crying in her sleep? How long had Adonis hid in the ripples and folds of her dreams, attacking her? How long was she going to cling to the threads of her sanity before she finally began to unravel? Cyborg was right, she was falling apart, but she had no idea how to fix it, and not even a clue as to where to start. She glanced back up at her friend, leaned her head against her hand.

"You're right."

He let those words hang in the silence between them before responding. "I know I am. You're like a little sister to me, Rae. Big brothers know these things." He paused again and let her adjust to his words. "So, what is it? What is going on?"

"Everything. Everything is going wrong and I am completely unable to figure out how to even try to fix it." She let her head fall to the table with a soft 'thunk' and groaned into her books, accidentally kicking at an empty mug she had left under the table. Hell, when was the last time she even had something to drink or eat? It had been almost three days since she had even seen Beast Boy, and she wasn't even sure if he was still upset with her or not.

"You're not usually one to act like a drama queen, Rae." Cyborg rolled his eyes. "I don't think everything is wrong."

"Yes it is." She picked up her head and looked into his eyes, shoving at her hair again. Anger and frustration flashed in their depths, and Raven could feel her fingertips start to gather energy as her powers unraveled like cheap threads woven into clothing. "I didn't want to tell the rest of the team, because I was hoping I could figure it out before it became a serious problem, but I can see that's not going to happen. And... it's kind of private and awkward to talk about. That's the whole reason why I'm burying myself in books that are written in old, dead languages. I have to figure out how to fix my stupid mistake."

He rubbed his temples and cursed under his breath. "You're not making any sense, Raven. No one thinks you're stupid... yes, you made a bad decision, but it wasn't a stupid one, it was an irrational one. Being angry and frustrated doesn't necessarily make you stupid, just desperate, and considering your circumstances, no one really blames you for acting the way you did." He paused and thought for a moment. "Well, Robin does, but that's because he's Robin, and he's kind of an ass."

"No, what I did was a stupid decision. I have to admit that if I'm going to fix it." She stared into his eyes, her own expression steely and determined. "Let's just put it all out on the table and call it what it is. I made a very stupid and irrational mistake following Adonis, and I put myself in serious danger because of it. And now, I have to deal with the consequences of my actions."

Cyborg eyed her carefully, trying to fully understand what she was telling him. "What do you mean? What does that have to do with the fact that you're avoiding Beast Boy like the plague and you haven't slept in days?"

Raven blushed. "I'm not trying to avoid Beast Boy."

"You stormed out of the kitchen last night when you went looking for Robin's stash of energy drinks. He walked in and you bolted like he was Slade." He rolled his eyes and shook his head. "Tell me that's not avoiding BB… nothing? No comment?" He waited a moment for her to say something, but nothing came out. "Okay, then you agree. You're avoiding him and now you're researching bonds… does this have something to do with what BB did to you? You know, with the mark and everything?"

"So… you know what Beast Boy did to me? Well, I guess that makes sense. I mean, I know Robin can't keep his big mouth shut half the time if it has to do with one of the team members." She fidgeted with a chewed up pencil for a moment, avoiding his curious stare. It felt like she was trying to confess all of her secrets to her big brother, and some of her confessions were pretty damn awkward. "But, you know about the mark Beast Boy gave me."

"Yeah. It's on your stomach, right? I'm also guessing the one you're researching right now." He motioned to the piles of books. "What does this have to do with what happened with Adonis?"

"Well… it's not just Beast Boy's mark anymore..." She turned away, shame coloring her face. "When I chased after him... and when we fought... he marked me in that fight. Just like Beast Boy did. I don't know if it was an accident or on purpose, but when his claws cut through my skin, he marked me." She pulled down the neck of her t-shirt over her shoulder, showing the deep, red gouges in her skin. "So, now his mark is inside me the same way Beast Boy's is and..." She trailed off, biting her lip to avoid admitting her defeat.

This was his fault. Not hers. If Adonis just knew how to control himself, knew how to control his beast, then maybe this wouldn't have happened. Maybe Raven wouldn't be sitting here, exhausted from avoiding her own rest and her own dreams. She closed her eyes and rested her head on the table. This wasn't her fault, it was just an accident. Albeit a messy accident that was going to take forever to clean up, but an accident just the same.

"And what, Raven?" Cyborg tapped his fingers on the tabletop, reclaiming her attention. "You didn't start that story just to admit he marked you. That's not just a scar, is it? There's something else going on."

She picked her head up and stared at her friend. "I'm stuck with him walking around in my head."

The silence was deafening.

"What?"

"Something he did, or some kind of power he has, controls my dreams. I don't know if he's somehow accessing my powers, or if his beast is just less controlled than Beast Boy's, but he can full-on dreamwalk into my head!" Her anger discharged a little, setting the corner of one of her books on fire. She closed her fingertips over the flame and extinguished it, grimacing. She really was falling apart. How much longer did she have until something more serious than a few, tiny flames happened? How much longer until she came apart at the seams?

But most importantly, how much longer until she finally succumed to Adonis's torture?

"Wait... I don't understand." Cyborg held up his hand, pulling Raven from her thoughts and back to the conversation. "You're saying that when Adonis attacked you at the coffee shop, he marked you the same way BB did?"

Raven rubbed her temples. "Yes."

"Okay. That's a fucking scary thought." He looked like he was about two second from hyperventilating, as he continued to stare at her. "But what do you mean that he's walking around in your head? Are you saying that he's..."

"I'm saying that somehow, in all of this, his connection with me is stronger than Beast Boy's, and he managed to access my powers... and now he's dreamwalking. In my dreams. Tormenting me every time I try to close my eyes. Attacking everything that I hold precious, every memory of Beast Boy and the rest of the team. He is literally attacking me from the inside out, and I need to figure out how to stop it." She waved at the piles of books surrounding her, exhaustion weighing down her limbs. "That's what I'm trying to do."

"Wait, wait..." He held up his hands and shook his head. "Are you telling me that Adonis has access to your dreams? He's knocking around in your head like some kind of parasite?" He barked out a shred of humorless laughter. "No wonder you don't want to go to sleep, I wouldn't want to either if I knew Adonis was trying to twist my dreams."

"It's not just my dreams he's messing with, he has access to my memories." Raven sighed and leaned back in her own chair. "I am forced to watch the perverted destruction of every precious memory every time I fall asleep. Plus he gets the option of creating some new, innovative ones. You know, just to torture my already fragile mind."

He looked at her carefully, as if he wasn't sure how to ask her. "And just now?"

"Yes. Beast Boy's head impaled on a stick as he undressed me and clawed at my skin." Raven grimaced, feeling her stomach heave at the thoughts.

Cyborg jerked back, profanities falling from his mouth. "You have got to be kidding me!"

Raven sighed. "I'm not. My stupid self created this mess, and now I have to deal with it."

"Raven... this isn't your fault."

She raised an eyebrow at him. "Oh? Because I wasn't coerced into following Adonis. I did that on my own." She threw a book on the floor and growled as a few sparks of black magic spurted from her fingertips. "If I hadn't followed him, if I didn't trust him, maybe I wouldn't be in this mess. Maybe I would just have to deal with Beast Boy's beast. But I followed him. I made that decision, and now I have to figure out how to stop the consequences."

"Stop that." Cyborg rolled his eyes. "You're throwing yourself under the bus because you wanted answers about what was happening to you because of Beast Boy's mark." He held up his hand, stopping any more of her protests before she could start. "BB can't keep a secret, besides, I'm his best friend, so I get to hear all the details first. He told me why you went after Adonis, but he didn't tell me about the whole thing with... nevermind. Look, the point is that you keep having this idea that this is somehow your fault."

"It is my fault. I shouldn't have followed him."

"It's not. Raven, anyone of us in the same situation would have done the same thing. You were lost in all of this, you didn't have answers, but you had a million questions. No one blames you for what happened, now how you went about it is an entirely different matter. But, you also have to remember that Adonis would have gone to any means necessary to do what he did to you, whether you followed him that night or not."

"But..."

"Raven. This isn't your fault... and you just have to accept that." He stood up and picked her up from the chair, wrapping his arms around her in a bear hug that encompassed her whole body.

Something about the touch instantly relaxed her. She had been cooped up for so long in the empty, lonely meeting room that she had forgotten how much she needed her friends and her family to keep her together, and to keep her sane. It was a reminder that she couldn't do this on her own, and she needed help. Even if it came from Beast Boy. She gingerly wrapped her arms around Cyborg as much as she could and eased into his touch.

"Now, what are we going to do about sleep for you?" He tugged on her hair as he set her down. "Because you almost sent priceless scrolls and books up in flames, and you're going to seriously destroy something if you don't recharge your batteries."

"Beast Boy offered me his dreams." Raven blushed as her feet touched the ground, fidgeting with the hem on her shirt. Well, this conversation turned awkward. How was she supposed to explain what happened with Adonis as he crashed through barriers and into Beast Boy's dreams? Furthermore, what if he asked about… Raven bit back a sigh, and looked away, trying to forget the kiss they shared in his dreams. She shoved at her hair and started for the door. "But… I don't know if I can go into them."

"Beast Boy's dreams?" Cyborg's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Even after what happened the last time you dreamwalked?" He gave a low whistle. "Wow. That's saying something about his trust in you. So... why haven't you taken him up on his offer yet?"

"I did… earlier this week… it's just…" Raven sighed and opened the door, somehow resisting the urge to bang her head against the frame. "Adonis found a way to follow me into his dreams. I don't know what he did, or how he did it, but he attacked me. He ripped me from Beast Boy's dreams and dragged me back to my own." Raven turned off the lights and slammed the door shut. "It was as if there was nothing he wouldn't do to conquer me."

"Holy shit, Rae… I don't even know what to say."

"You and me both." Raven leaned against the hallway wall and looked up at her friend. "So, you can see why I'm not too keen on going into Beast Boy's dreams. I don't want him to be forced through the same torture I am. I just have to figure this out on my own and maybe things will go back to some semblance of normal."

"That's unusually kind and protective of you, Raven." Cyborg gave her a knowing smile, but chose to say nothing else on that particular subject. "So... what are you going to do? You can't continued to be tortured in your own dreams you know. And, if you don't get enough sleep, you're going to break apart completely."

"I don't know." Raven pressed a hand to her head, choosing to ignore his previous comment. Of course she was being protective of Beast Boy, he was her friend, and that was reason enough to protect him… right?

She shook her head and started down the hallway, Cyborg in tow. "I can't stay in my own dreams, but... I don't know about Beast Boy's either. I don't want to chance the possibility of dragging Adonis into his mind and damaging his own psyche. It's too dangerous and I'm worried about the consequences of me staying too long in his mind too…" She cursed and stumbled over her own feet, feeling exhaustion pull at her muscles again. "It's just such a disaster, and I'm at a loss."

"Well... I would certainly think about all your options, Rae. Not just holing yourself up in the meeting room for days on end reading books written in words that look like pictures. You can't just rely on yourself all the time. There's a reason we're called a team, ya know." Cyborg placed his hand on her back and pushed her further down the hall and away from the meeting room. "I'll take a look at some of the tech I have and see if there's anything that might at least stop you from dreaming… I'm not guaranteeing I have anything, or if anything exists, but I'll look. And I'll talk to Robin and Star about increasing the search for Adonis. We can't have you breaking apart the way you are."

Raven felt an overwhelming sense of warmth and love wash over her, and she was consumed with the desire to hug the man she considered her big brother. She must have been exhausted if she wanted to hug someone. She shook her head and continued down the hall, feeling him follow her.

"And you need to work things out with Beast Boy."

Color flooded her face and she turned and looked back at Cyborg. "What do you mean?"

"You know exactly what I mean, Rae." He rolled his eyes and pushed past her down the hall. "It's written all over your face when you talk about him. And that's all I'm going to say."

As Raven opened her mouth to say something about his comment, but her words were cut short as the hallway was flooded with red light and screeching sirens. Cyborg glanced down at her. "Nevermind. I guess that will have to wait a little longer."

Fear rose up into her throat as Raven stared up at Cyborg. "Who is it this time?" She silently prayed it was anyone besides Adonis. She didn't know what would happen if she saw him again, and part of her was scared of both him and the potential situation. She was too tired to face him, and that would either mean that her body would go into defense mode and attack him ruthlessly, or Adonis would continue to harass and torture her.

"Red X. Some high-tech heist downtown, of course." He rolled his eyes as he stared at the display on his arm. "Great. Robin's gonna be in a freakin' fantastic mood."

As if on cue: "Titans!"

Raven looked down at herself in jersey shorts and a t-shirt and sighed. "No time to change I guess."

"Whatever." Cyborg shrugged. "We're not trying to win any beauty pageants. Come on, let's get this show on the road before Robin pops another blood vessel."

Raven nodded and phased through the walls toward the exit, following the emotions of her companions. Starfire was groggy, but still focused, knowing that a battle was about to take place. Robin was alert and darting around like a four year-old hyped up on caffeine pills. Cyborg was cool and calm, trying to map out battle strategies in his head. And Beast Boy was barely dragging his ass out of bed as he followed Cyborg down the hall towards the exit.

Raven took a deep, shaky breath and let it out slowly, trying to calm herself as she flew through the tower and across the cool, summer bay towards the location of the heist. Going into battle the way she was right now was dangerous. She was the x-factor. She knew with her mind and psyche in the state is was, she was the variable that couldn't be trusted. If she made one step out-of-line, one slip up she couldn't control, there was no telling what would happen. Adonis had done serious damage to her, and she had helped him along by forcing herself to stay awake. It felt like everything inside her was breaking down, and there was nothing she could do to stop it.

Her feet touched down outside a broken window, looking into the bank with caution. Red X wasn't usually brutal during his fights, but that didn't mean that he wasn't a foe to be reckoned with.

"Cute threads, Rae."

She turned and glared at the caricature of the skull staring at her. He leaned up against the outside door, alternatively tossing a catching a small, black box in his left hand. He gave her a salute with his free hand, and although Raven couldn't see his face, she was certain that he was grinning at her.

"Well, when you wake me up at three in the morning to chase you all over Jump City, I don't always have time to change." She glared, suddenly wishing for the security and comfort of her cloak. "And it's Raven."

"Awe... is the little bird not a morning person?" He caught the box and stashed it into his belt as he pushed himself into a standing position. "I would have never imagined that. I mean, you're half-demon and all, I would have thought that you did nothing but stay awake at night and plot ways to take over the world."

"This isn't a cartoon. And I'm one of the good guys, remember? I don't plot." Raven rolled her eyes and felt the rest of her team move into position around her. Starfire was floating above them, hovering just out of sight, Robin was hidden behind the corner of the building, waiting for Red X's first move, Cyborg was just behind him, sonic cannon primed, and Beast Boy was flying next to Starfire.

"I'm not here to chat, you know."

"Such a pity." He reached out and tapped her on the nose. "You're so much fun to talk to."

Unwanted physical contact: that was just cause for a lost testicle. She glared at him, her weight shifting as she positioned her body carefully on the pavement. "Shut up."

He shrugged and moved around her, pacing as if to rile her up. "Sort of defeats the purpose of talking, don't you think? You can't have a conversation if you can't talk." He laughed as he made another circle around her body. "Nice ass, by the way. Pity you cover it up with a bulky, useless cloak."

That was uncalled for.

Raven wasn't sure what made her lose control. She should have been strong and level-headed, and she should have been able to step back from the situation and realize that he was just goading her, trying to rile her up. But exhaustion beat at her like a hammer, and her resolve and control was slowly disintegrating into nothingness. Adonis had broken her apart from the inside, and it was Red X who had pushed her over the edge.

She picked up her head and - without thinking - swung a fist at Red X's temple. He cursed and jumped out of the way, barely avoiding Raven's attack. She moved again, her powers reaching out for anything she could possibly throw at him, but he rolled out of the way and avoided being hit with a cash register she had pulled from the empty storefront.

"Oooo. Scary." He rolled to his feet, and moved around her, dodging another attack. "I don't think I've ever seen you all riled up before, princess. It's kinda sexy, seeing your eyes flash and your cheeks flush." He patted her on the head before stepping out of the way of another cash register. "Who'da known you were kinda cute, Princess."

"Don't call me that! And I am not cute!" Raven sent her powers out of her body, trying to reach out and grab anything of consequence in her vicinity. Black energy wrapped around a mailbox next to him and threw it at his head, his movements just barely dodging the reckless attack. His suit caught on a stray piece of metal and ripped a section down his left arm.

"I never knew you could be so brutal during a fight." He ducked a stack of newspapers and rolled out of the way of a parking meter. "This could be so much fun, Princess. So, why don't you show me what you've got."

"Oh, I will." Raven pushed herself off of the ground, sending her soul-self through various things on the sidewalk. Her powers threw everything she had at him, benches, litter, even glass from the window he had broken. He managed to move out of the way, stepping through her attacks like a well-trained dancer. It was infuriating to throw the punches but not land one. Finally a shard of glass pierced his bicep and he misstepped in reaction, tumbling over a broken bike chain as his body fell to the ground. Raven took the opportunity and threw another few shards of glass at him, aiming them precariously at his throat.

He raised his hands in defeat, but the gesture meant nothing to Raven. Her mind was clouded by red as rage coursed through her veins. Her sanity was slipping out of her grasp as every movement brought Red X closer to death. She howled in excitement, a sound raw and primal as it ripped from her throat.

Around her, Raven could hear the faint, muddled screams from her friends, each one calling out to her. She felt their panic and fear and shock as she attacked Red X, but she couldn't hear the words coming out of their mouths. All she heard was the blood rushing through her veins, the sound of projectiles as they were hurled at the helpless body in front of her, and the groans and curses from Red X as he was attacked ruthlessly.

"I am no princess. I am a demon, little boy!"

Raven threw herself on top of him, sending the levitating glass shards scattering across the sidewalk, and letting something mangled and painful escape her lips as she attacked him. Her fingers wrapped around his tender, bloodied throat and she hissed down at him. He struggled against her hold, his legs trying to throw her off his body, but she refused to let him go. It would just take one twitch of her wrist, and he would no longer be a nuisance to the team or to the rest of the world. The idea was scintillating.

"Raven! Out of line!"

Raven felt weightless for a moment as her body was peeled off his own body and restrained by something with the force of a python. Oh wait. It was a python. She struggled against her restraints, more out of surprise that actual fight. She had been thinking of killing Red X. Destroying him. Sinking her claws into his flesh and…

"What the hell, Raven!" Robin's handcuffs were already locked around Red X's wrists as the thief struggled for breath through his bruised windpipe. He tried to weakly fight against Robin, but he was too battered and bruised to do more than swing his arms around like limp noodles. Robin pushed his half-assed attacks out of the way, continuing to glare at Raven. "You know better than that!"

"Raven, girl! Get your act together. This is not you." Cyborg stared at her as she continued to struggle against Beast Boy's python form, fear and shock flashing in her eyes.

Was this what Adonis was trying to do to her? Was he trying to break her down so that she was nothing more than pure, raw emotion? A mindless, killing machine that was just a shadow of what she should have been? She stilled against the python restraining her, shock rippling through her veins like cold ice at that realization.

Had she let Adonis win against her?

"I'm sorry... I didn't… mean to..."

Beast Boy returned to his human form and let go of her arms, looking down into her eyes. She saw his confusion and fear swimming in the depths, and she realized exactly what she had done. As if her own fears came true, her control had slipped. She had let herself get away from her control, and she had nearly killed someone in the process. She looked up into Beast Boy's eyes, and without fully understanding what she was doing, she buried her face into his chest, hiding in the folds of his uniform as his hands wrapped around her.

"Oh. Um… okay…?" He rubbed and patted her back awkwardly for a moment, as if unsure what to do in this situation. Looking around at the rest of the team, none of them really knew what to do either. No one had ever seen Raven like she was now. They had seen her angry, frustrated, annoyed, but not… this.

Beast Boy patted her back again. "Um... I think we should go home, guys."

"Awe... running away?" Red X wheezed out another breath, picking his head up to stare at the two of them, a trickle of blood spilling from the corner of his mouth. "Little girl blue too worried that she might hurt someone?"

Beast Boy growled and turned around to look at him, his eyes narrowing. "Shut up, dude. You know that Raven can kick your ass any day of the week without her powers and without our help. So you better watch your trap."

"That's good… I like a girl who can fight."

Without any other warning, Beast Boy turned into a gorilla and roared into Red X's mask, his massive arms reaching out to pummel him. Cyborg grabbed his arm with as much force as he could and shook his head.

"He's not worth it, BB."

He returned to his human form again, glaring, but the tension didn't leave the air.

Robin cursed under his breath. "Both of you, go home, before you get someone killed."

Beast Boy snarled at Red X and walked past Raven, his hand grabbing hers as they both made their way through the debris and towards the bay, shuffling through a small crowd that had gathered to stare at the fight. A few people clapped, a few people shouted obscenities, but none of them dared to stop the two Titans. When Beast Boy and Raven were out of earshot of the rest of the team and any eavesdroppers, he turned and looked at her, eyes steely.

"Let's talk."

Raven kept her face blank and raised an eyebrow, trying to hide her fear and confusion under her normal, stoic front. "About what?"

"Jesus christ, Raven. Don't play that game with me today." He rolled his eyes. "Why don't we start with the fact that you almost turned Red X into hamburger meat. You attacked him without waiting for us, without waiting for Robin's cue. You were out of line and you know it." He shook his head and dropped her hand, still staring at her. "What the hell happened, Raven? I haven't seen you lose control like that since the whole thing with Dr. Light. You don't act like that... ever. You're always level headed."

"I'm tired of people telling me that I'm always level headed and logical. I'm half-human too, you know. I can make mistakes just like everyone else." She forced herself to glare at him, trying to keep herself from remembering that she had just tried to snuff the life out of another person. That wasn't her, she wasn't like that. She had never wanted to destroy another life the way she wanted to destroy Red X, and that thought shook her to the core.

"I know." He sighed and glared back at her, his eyes looking past her to the scene of their friends shoving Red X into the T-Car. "I just feel like the mistakes you made could have been avoided. I know you haven't slept in days, Raven. Hell, you've barely left the meeting room in the past 36 hours. And I know that you're worried about coming into my head, but what choice do you have? You can't just sit there and wait to die from exhaustion. You saw what happened when you lost control tonight, what will happen tomorrow? What if someone actually gets killed?"

"You're right…" She ran a shaky hand through her hair, smearing blood on her face. Whose blood was it? Hers or Red X's? She turned away from Beast Boy and wiped it off with the sleeve of her uniform. "And I know that, but I also can't chance you being exposed to Adonis. I don't want you to be attacked the same way I am. I don't want to put you through that pain."

"Don't you think that's something I should decide for myself?" He let that hang between them before continuing. "You can't avoid sleep forever, and I can handle myself if he does try to come back into my head. We'll both be there, and we can both fight him." He continued to stare at her, seeing the reservation still swim in the darkness of her eyes. "We agreed that this wouldn't be permanent. It's just a means to an end at this point, so let's just take advantage of it for right now, at least until we figure out how to break this thing between you and Adonis… and me, I guess."

She sighed in defeat, looking up at him with weary eyes. "What choice do I have?"

"Not much." He threaded his hand with hers, heat erupting between their touch. "Come on, Rae, let's go home before you decide to destroy anything else tonight. You can stay with me."

Raven rolled her eyes, somehow managing to fight the blush that was working across her face. He was suggesting that she stay with him, in his room, and something about that both excited and frightened her. She kept her face blank. "I don't need to sleep with you to dreamwalk, Beast Boy. You know that."

He shrugged. "Humor me."

"What are we doing?" She tugged her hand out of his, forcing him to stop walking and turn around to look at her. There was a long pause as she watched him trying to decipher her question. He struggled for a moment before he managed to respond to her question.

"We're trying to keep you sane and keep the world safe by default. Why?"

"You know what I'm talking about." She motioned to the space between them. "What is this? Between us? What happened in your dream was..." She blushed and looked away. "We kissed, and it confused me so much that I don't know what to think anymore."

"What is there to think?" He stared at her, confused by her question. "We're friends."

She stared at him. "And that's all?"

He sighed. "Raven, you're a smart girl... super smart. Without using any brain power at all, I think you can figure out what this is from my perspective."

"And that is?"

He shrugged and looked away. "I thought it was obvious."

"It wasn't."

"I like you." He looked back at her, expression dark as a million unreadable emotions swarmed behind his eyes. "As more than just a friend."

)O(

Whew! So, that was a long chapter. Sorry about the delay in getting this up! Also, I know the ending was not as solid as some of my other endings, so I apologize. Every time I sat down to edit it something happened and finally I gave up trying to flesh it out and focused on trying to make it work. Also, I'm sorry for my gratuitous use of the word "fuck" in this chapter.

Lastly, as I was looking through the main page of stories, I saw a story titled "Because I Love You Obviously!" (which sounds suspiciously like a Shojo Manga title) and that made me think... what the hell would the Teen Titans be like if it was a Shojo Manga? I am suddenly intrigued by this possibility.
Ya know... just putting the seed out there for all you creative types...

(whistles innocently)

Anyway, let me know what you think of this chapter! Thanks for reading!