A Seed's Strength

It could not have been a more perfect summer's day.

Excitement in every step, Juushirou bounced along the pathway, following his father's long, even strides further and further from the estate as they delved into the thick forestland that surrounded the Ukitake manor. When he had been very small, Juushirou remembered being told various stories about fairies and spirits that lingered in the trees here, and as he gazed around him, he wondered whether or not any of those tales had been true.

Certainly, with the sunlight radiating through the gaps between branches to the ground below, the environment was mottled and hazy, as if he had stepped into another world, and there was a fresh scent of blossom on the air which, though faint, seemed to add a whole new aura to his surroundings.

He paused, taking a deep breath into his lungs.

"Juu-kun?"

At his hesitation, the Lord stopped, turning to glance at him questioningly, and Juushirou blushed, hurrying to catch up the gap that had opened up between them.

"Are you all right?" As he reached the older man's side, the Lord cast him an anxious look, and Juushirou nodded his head firmly.

"Yes, sir. It's just, this is my first time in the forest like this. And I was just enjoying the atmosphere. The air seems clean here, and it doesn't make me cough. I like that."

"I'm sure you do." His father grinned, reaching across to tousle the boy's thick, messy dark hair. "That's why we came to this altitude in the first place - because I thought it would give you the best chance of being able to breathe more easily. You've been in stronger health lately, in any case - but I don't want to take unecessary chances with you while you're still growing."

"I feel fine, sir. Thank you." Juushirou assured him, with all the dignity a twelve year old could possess after having had his hair ruffled loose from its ties. "This is the first time we've ever done anything like this - I've been looking forward to it. I wouldn't dare be sick today."

"I'm glad about that." Despite himself, the Lord laughed. "Very well, then. This is as clear an area as any, and we're far enough away from home that none of your siblings will accidentally interfere. This is, after all, a very special ritual between Father and son, Juushirou-kun. You're my eldest child, and one day, you will be the head of this clan. As such, you must be able to defend yourself and your family - at least to a basic level. It's one of the things that every Head of every clan must one day learn, after all. Even if what we have to defend pales in comparison to the Great Noble Houses - we have our pride too."

He reached across to squeeze Juushirou's thin, pasty arms.

"There don't seem to be many muscles here yet, but I'm sure we'll find a way to change that." He added playfully, and Juushirou blushed furiously, wishing his father had not made the observation so bluntly. "I suppose it can't be helped, either - though Anika has often told me that if you want to fight against something, you're more than capable of doing so."

He winked, releasing his grip.

"Though I suppose, these days, you no longer allow Anika to bathe or dress you like you did when you were small, do you?"

"I'm not a baby any more, sir." Juushirou got a grip on himself, shaking his head. "And there are the little ones who need her more. I'm quite able to wash and clothe myself, after all. And like you said, I'm the eldest. So I have to do things first."

He glanced mournfully at his hands.

"I need to catch up to Hiro-kun, too." He murmured. "He's been learning Kendou for two years already, and he's eighteen months younger than me."

"That's partly why I gave into Kamikura's advice and allowed you to have a go for yourself." the Lord pulled the wooden sticks from the obi of his kimono, glancing at them and then tossing the lighter of them towards his son, who caught it clumsily in his right hand. "Ah, good catch! Your reflexes aren't slow, it seems, even if they lack training."

Juushirou glanced at the stick, running his finger carefully over the smooth surface of the wood for a moment. Then he nodded.

"I'll do my best." He said simply.

For the next hour, the boy found himself drilled in the basics of wielding the Kendou stick, repeating the same things again and again until his father was happy that he had grasped the rule before moving on. Despite his slow development, Juushirou had found that it was not difficult to understand what he was supposed to do, and he was almost disappointed when his father dropped his stick down by a tree, indicating for his companion to do the same.

"Enough. Time for you to have a break." He said firmly, and Juushirou sighed, yet obediently did as he was bidden.

"How's your chest?" His father asked softly. "Your cheeks have more colour than I've ever seen, Juu-kun, but I don't want that to be because you're about to suffocate or choke."

Juushirou frowned. If he was honest, his lungs did ache somewhat from the unaccustomed exercise, yet even as he took in a deep breath of air, there were no spasms or twitches of pain, and he smiled, shrugging his shoulders.

"I'm all right, sir. Thank you." He said seriously. "I can breathe just fine. I'm just not very used to so much exercise - but I don't feel like I'm going to have an attack."

"Then stopping when we did was a good plan, and we'll take a few minutes to let you cool down." His father suggested. "No, don't sit," As Juushirou made to drop down in the shade of the tree beside his stick. "It's better for you to keep on your feet. Stopping suddenly after exercise is more likely to make you ill than not, after all - and Okaasama won't forgive me if I bring you back home fevered and coughing."

"I didn't know that." Juushirou eyed his father in surprise. "Is that really true, Otousama?"

"It's something my Father taught me, when we came to practice here when I was a boy." The Lord responded simply.

"Otousama came here to train, too?" Juushirou was startled, and his companion nodded.

"Many, many times." He agreed. "Believe it or not, Juu-kun, your Grandfather was a harder task-master than I am, and he didn't give me much leeway to miss a session, no matter what else was going on."

He shrugged his shoulders.

"We're not Nobility of the Kuchiki-ke's level, that's for sure." He added softly. "But even so, there are sometimes dangers we need to be able to protect ourselves from. We're Seireitei-born, which means we have that power inside of us - all of us - no matter what level our birth happens to be. Even if we're not elite members of the Gotei, Juu-kun, there's no excuse not to learn how to be stronger. For the sake of the people at home, it's important to know everything you possibly can do. There's always someone weaker than you, after all - someone who needs protecting."

"Someone who needs protecting?" Juushirou repeated this carefully, pondering the meaning of his father's words as he did so. For a moment there was silence, then, "Does that mean that even I'm able to be strong?"

"Even you?" The Lord gazed at him for a moment, then he smiled ruefully, shaking his head. "That's a foolish question, my boy. You've never been weak in the first place, after all."

"But I'm always ill." Juushirou said sadly, chewing on his lip as he did so. "And the others can do so many things I can't do, even though they're all younger than me. People stop me - Otousama, you stop me most of all - just in case I bring on an attack. So if I'm that weak - how can I be strong enough to protect someone? Even just a little bit - there's so much I can't do."

His companion eyed him for a moment, then, without a word, he placed his hand on the boy's shoulder, guiding him away from the clearing and through a knot of trees until they reached the perimeter of Ukitake land. As they stopped, Juushirou gazed at his father in confusion.

"Otousama?"

"Don't look at me." His companion shook his head, gesturing out over the rise to where Seireitei was laid out like an elaborately painted map, a mix of greens, browns and golds that seemed to stretch for miles. "Look at that instead."

"Seireitei." Juushirou's eyes widened as he absorbed the beauty that lay before him. "But...I don't understand..."

"In comparison to that, my child, we're all small. We're all weak and insignificant - yes, even the Gotei themselves." The Lord said softly. "How can any of us compare to a sight as beautiful or powerful as that, after all?"

"But I..."

"You're not weak, Juushirou." The Lord put his finger gently to the boy's lips, gently cutting off his protestations as he met his son's gaze with an earnest one of his own. "And I'm sorry if I've made you feel that way. It's not because you're weak that I've protected you. It's in the hope that you'll be strong, instead."

"In the hope that I'll be strong?" Shock flashed across Juushirou's expression, and his father nodded, getting down on his knees as he reached across to brush the tiny leaves of a nearby sapling, pushing bravely through the dirt as it reached up towards the clear blue sky.

"Last autumn, this was simply a seed." He said gently. "A tiny, insignificant seed which had nothing more to recommend itself to the world than any other speck of grime or dust on Seireitei's land. Yet here it is, now, a young plant - growing upwards towards the sun."

"Otousama?" Juushirou looked bewildered, and his companion laughed.

"To be able to grow is the first battle this seed won." He said evenly, getting carefully to his feet and resting both his hands on his son's shoulders. "Not all seeds win that battle. Several die before they even have a chance to live. But even though it won that battle, Juu-kun, it's still vulnerable. A storm or a gust of wind could rip it from the earth. A wild animal could tear it down. People could trample it, and break its grasp on life. There's still much time that needs to pass before it will be like its fellows here...strong enough to withstand the worst of the elements without needing the support of those around it."

Juushirou's eyes opened wide, and he bent down to touch the tree's tiny leaves.

"I...I hadn't thought of it like that before." He murmured.

"You're like that sapling to me, Juu-kun." The Lord said simply. "You survived the lottery of being born, and you're now growing and developing towards the sun. I know in my heart that one day you will be a proper tree with roots and trunk so sturdy none can knock you down. But right now you're still a child. You still have weaknesses and vulnerabilities. And that's why I protect you. Not because I think you're weak, but because I know, one day, you will be strong."

He smiled.

"Do you understand?"

"Yes sir." Juushirou raised his gaze, nodding his head as a faint smile touched his lips. "I think I do."

He pursed his lips, wondering whether he dared voice the question, then,

"In that case, Otousama, was Mother still just a sapling too, when I was born?" He asked hesitantly. "Was that why she didn't survive any longer...was it because she wasn't strong enough after all?"

"Oh, Juushirou..." A flash of pain touched the Lord's expression, and guilt flooded the boy's heart as he registered that even now his father loved his mother as much as he had then. He bowed hastily, his shock of dark hair flopping over his shoulder as he did so.

"I'm sorry, sir." He said contritely. "I didn't mean to say something thoughtless."

"No...no." The Lord shook his head, seeming to bring himself out of his reverie as he cast the boy a smile. "You of all people have the right to speak about Raiko, after all. She was as much part of you as I am, at the end of the day. If it's you asking, Juu-kun, there's no apology needed. Raise your head, child. I'm not upset or cross."

Hesitantly Juushirou did so, chewing on his lip once more as he eyed his father hesitantly.

"We've never talked about it before, not with you, and perhaps that's been wrong." The Lord leant up against the trunk of a nearby tree, folding his arms absently across his chest as he did so. "But you're not the first child in the Ukitake clan to be born with this choking illness. Generations back, it struck through our ancestors like a literal white plague, and many of them died. Even those who didn't weren't totally free of it - they carried the illness in their blood, and birthed children just like you."

He smiled sadly.

"Many in the clan refer to it as a curse." He added. "And perhaps it is."

Juushirou swallowed hard, gazing at his father in consternation.

"So I...I'm cursed?" He whispered. "Did that...is that...what killed Mother?"

"No." The Lord shook his head. "You see, most of the babies born with the illness don't survive their first night in the world, Juu-kun. Those of us who know such things know that a Ukitake baby who does not cry when he's born is likely one who will never cry - whose life will be as brief as a candle flame flickering out in a summer's breeze. But your Mother, she didn't accept that. She couldn't accept that. You were not just another Ukitake baby struck by disease, after all. You were her son. To her you were the thing most precious to her - the thing she loved most of all."

He reached across to touch his son's cheek, and Juushirou could tell from the faraway look in his father's eyes that the Lord was picturing his mother even now.

"I told you that the Ukitake clan aren't like the Noble Elite, but that we still have some power deep within our hearts which we can use to ward off evil if it ever comes near." He said softly. "Even you have that power, Juu-kun. A newborn baby can't very well control that power - not even a little bit. That's why, you see, babies born sickly do not survive. Their bodies cannot handle that inborn power, and so it overwhelms them and they succumb."

Juushirou frowned

"But I...I survived?"

"That's because your mother didn't give up until she had managed to bring breath back to your body." His father said softly, in tones little more than a whisper. "That was her choice, because she loved you."

"Then it is my fault, isn't it?" Juushirou sighed heavily. "Anika always says it wasn't, but it was my fault that Mother died."

"Juu-kun..."

"I don't understand why you're always so kind to me, even knowing that." Juushirou raised sad eyes to his father's, tears glittering silver on his lashes in the afternoon sun. "You've always treated me properly, sir, even though in the end I'm the child who ended Mother's life."

"No, it's not that way at all." The Lord shook his head, reaching up to gently brush the tears away. "Your mother gave you the gift of life, that's all. None of the blame lies with you. And I love you very much, no matter what. I love you because you're what your mother loved most of all. Enough to give you her strength, and help you to live."

He smiled.

"She wouldn't have regretted her choice." He added. "She has plenty to be proud of, after all."

"Do you think so?" Juushirou looked surprised, and his companion nodded.

"You are very precious to me, Juu-kun." He said softly. "Remember that. A parent will always love their child more than they love themselves, after all. What your mother did is only what any mother would do for her child. So you see, you did nothing wrong, did you?"

"I...I suppose not." Juushirou digested this slowly. "I suppose, then, all I can do is make sure that she's still able to be proud of me, if she wanted me to live that much. It must mean that she wanted me to do my best, after all. So I will. To be strong and protect the family, just like you said."

"That's my boy." The Lord grinned, though Juushirou could see tears in the older man's eyes too. "I'm glad you understand."

"But if I was born with this disease, Otousama, surely that means that, if I had children, they could be born with it too?" Juushirou realised, and his father sighed.

"That's not something we need concern ourselves with yet - such matters are a long way into the future." He said pragmatically. "For the time being, Kendou is our priority. All right? Let's leave future problems till they have to be faced, and focus instead on your physical strength."

"Yes sir." Juushirou nodded. "I think I can go again now, in any case. I don't feel tired any more."

The Lord eyed him thoughtfully.

"Your mother would always say when she was carrying you that her son was going to surprise people with his strength." He said softly. "Sometimes, when I look at you, I understand what she meant. Even though you've done scarcely any physical activities since you were small - this afternoon you've barely coughed at all, and you're already ready to try a second time. Perhaps you are stronger than I realised, even now."

He smiled ruefully.

"But then, I shouldn't be so surprised." He reflected. "After all, Raiko was Kuchiki-ke, albeit a loose, distant blood connection."

Juushirou stopped dead, staring at his companion in surprise.

"Mother was...Kuchiki-ke? Mother was...from the Great Noble Houses?"

"A distant relationship, but yes, in a manner of speaking." His father agreed. "Some several degrees removed from the elite at the Clan's core, mind you. But there's a certain steely resilience in their people that's always intrigued me. And from time to time, Juu-kun, I think I see that same steeliness in your eyes."

He shrugged.

"Imagination, perhaps." He mused. "But either way, you've shown a natural understanding of what we've begun today. If you continue that way, Juu-kun, it won't be long at all before we get some muscles on those arms of yours!"

Author's note:
I think Juu-kun's hair was originally black because he has dark brows.
His eyes drive me crazy because they're animated brown, occasionally drawn green. I don't know what canon says. Hazel is my compromise. :P