Chapter Three: Waking Nightmare
He was in the forest.
His sword clutched in his hand, Shirogane made his way cautiously through the trees, feeling the sensation of eyes on him yet not being able to pick out the reason for his uncertainty. The hairs pricked on the back of his neck and he swung around, but there was nobody there. He was quite alone, yet the darkness was stifling him, threatening to overwhelm his senses completely.
"Shirogane."
A voice drifted through the cloying blackness, sending chills through his heart as he struggled to find the speaker. It was Ribari's voice, he knew that, yet he could not see the boy, no matter where he looked. He stumbled forwards, Ginkyoujiki clutched desperately in a slick, sweat-drenched hand as he searched for his student.
"Ribari-sama!" He called, his voice hoarse and urgent as he searched in vain for the Kuchiki heir. "Ribari-sama! Where are you? Ribari-sama!"
"Shirogane."
For the briefest of moments, he saw the young boy, staring at him with empty, tragic eyes from between the thick trunks of two katsura trees. He was pale and indistinct – almost unreal, and Shirogane blinked, trying to bring the apparition more clearly into focus. In that moment, though, the mirage was gone – and he wondered if it had ever been there at all.
Something moved in the darkness, and he swung around, breathing hard as he tried to pinpoint what it was and where it had gone. Was it an animal? A wild beast slipping through on its way to hunt for the night? Or was it something else – someone else? Had it been a different kind of hunter, primed with a weapon he did not understand?
Something silver glinted out of the darkness, and Shirogane darted forward, lunging into the shadows as he tried to pin down the mysterious creature. As he did so, Ribari's words echoed through his thoughts once more, clear and vivid enough as though the youth was truly at his side, speaking them for the first time.
"I thought I saw…a young man. A man with…golden eyes. And…long hair. His skin…was…dark. And…that's all I saw."
Something moved in the darkness, and Shirogane reached out to grab it, but whatever it was slipped easily through his fingers and disappeared into the woods beyond. The Vice Captain dropped to his knees, gripping the soil helplessly as he felt the forest closing in around him. The trees were imprisoning him, the trees were stopping him, the trees were…
"I thought I saw…a young man. A man with…golden eyes."
Ribari's words echoed through his thoughts again.
"They seemed to be looking right through me."
"Ribari-sama!"
Shirogane sat up in bed, breathing hard as he struggled to bring the world into focus. His heart was racing in his chest, he realised, and he had been sweating profusely – from fear or from something else? He could not tell, but when he brought his fingers to his brow, he realised that even his thick dark hair was damp to the touch.
He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down.
It was a dream.
He sighed, staring around his darkened chamber with a sense of regret.
He was no longer in the forest. He could not look for Ribari. The boy was dead, yet he found it hard to truly accept it. His dream had been frightening and distorted, but he could not shake the feeling that parts of it had been real. Ribari's pallor, and the words he had spoken suddenly rang more true through his senses than anything else he remembered from that night.
Ribari had seen something. Something important. And Shirogane was the only one who knew what it was.
He pushed back his covers, pausing cautiously to check that he was truly alone in the darkened chamber. Mitsuki had given him something to help him sleep, and he had slept, but she had clearly assumed it would last longer than it had, for the girl was nowhere to be seen. Tentatively Shirogane reached out his senses to make sure she was not waiting just outside the door, allowing him time to rest and recuperate from the effects of his poisoning, but there was nobody there. Not even a guard stood near his chamber, and for this, Shirogane was grateful.
He got carefully to his feet, pulling his robe more tightly around his body with one hand whilst activating the kidou lamps that lit his chamber with the other. Mindful of Seiren's scathing criticism of his appearance the last time they had spoken, he moved to pick up his Clan clothing, then stopped, pausing to choose the black and white shihakushou instead. He was Ribari's tutor no more, and he would not upset the balance by trying to flaunt his Clan bloodline so soon after the boy's sudden death. Yet till he had seen the body for himself, he could not robe in the dark colours of Kuchiki mourning. Instead, he would draw a compromise, wearing the attire that befitted his rank as Vice Captain of the Sixth Squad. The colours would not show disrespect to his fallen kinsman, but would also emphasise his rank and his duty to the Clan. Insecurity was not a familiar sensation for one of his confidence and ability – but recent events had made him insecure.
But nobody can chastise me for wearing my robes of duty, and nobody can say that shihakushou are unsuitable for mourning. As Vice Captain of the Sixth Division, Ribari-sama's safety was my responsibility. As that, it's my duty to find out what happened to him. And to bring justice to his killer – or killers – no matter what.
For once, he had no real interest in his appearance, but as a last thought grabbed a white ribbon from the unit, tying it firmly into his thick dark hair to pull it back from his face and out of his eyes. He was not as unsteady on his feet, now – Mitsuki's potion had obviously done him some good, then – and as he peered at his reflection in the finely crafted mirror, he realised that he looked less ghoulish than he had when he had first staggered from the chamber to face his Uncles downstairs. Perhaps he was not fully fit yet, he acknowledged, reaching up to touch his cheek absently. But it would do. For now, it would do.
He pushed back the door of his chamber, glancing along the hallway in both directions to make sure the coast was clear. It was, save for a serving maid who paused to glance at him uncertainly. He offered her a glare, and her eyes widened with alarm. Immediately she scuttled back to what she had been doing, and Shirogane sighed, rubbing his temples.
"Girl." He spoke aloud, and the girl paused, staring at him warily.
"Yes, sir?" She asked softly, and Shirogane bit his lip. She was only young, he realised – seventeen or eighteen, no more than that – still a child, and obviously scared just at the sight of him. Such people were beneath his notice or his concern, but those with eyes also had voices, and it would not do any good if she was to report having seen him leave. Mitsuki would doubtless be back soon – her vigilance over him had not yet faltered for any length of time – and the last thing he wanted was to spark off a hunt around the whole of the manor.
"Do you know who I am?" He asked softly, muting his tones so as not to scare the girl further, and she bowed her head respectfully, raising her eyes to meet his apprehensively.
"Nagoya…Shirogane-sama." She whispered, and Shirogane nodded.
"Good. Then if you know that, you know I am nephew to Guren-sama and that my orders are to be immediately obeyed." He said crisply.
"Yes…yes, sir." The girl bowed again.
"Listen, then. I'll say it once and expect you to remember." Shirogane spoke evenly, though his heart pounded in his chest for he knew the longer he lingered here, the less likely he would be able to make any form of escape. "If anyone comes by this way, and seeks me, you have not seen me leave my room. Do you understand? No matter who it is that asks you, unless it is Guren-sama himself. I have an important errand that shouldn't be impeded by lesser kinsfolk such as the Edogawa hime – so if she in particular asks after me, you may tell her you have no knowledge of me. Understood?"
"..Yes, sir." The girl nodded emphatically. "I will remember."
"Repeat to me my order, just so I can be sure your peasant brain has absorbed it."
"I have not seen you this morning." The girl repeated obediently. "I've been busy at my tasks and have not seen anyone pass by me. If Edogawa-hime-sama speaks to me, this is what I will say. I will only say otherwise to Guren-sama."
"Good girl." Shirogane nodded. "Mind you keep to it."
He paused, then,
"What's your name?"
"Nanaki, sir." The girl seemed surprised. Shirogane's eyes narrowed, and he nodded.
"I will remember that." He murmured. "That I gave those instructions to a maid called Nanaki, and will see them obeyed."
With that he was gone, not even bothering to turn back though he knew that the young girl was staring after him all the same. He didn't really care to know what the wench – or any serving wench – was named as, but it was a trick he had learnt as a boy to ensure complete obedience to his orders. If a lord asked a servant's name, then that servant would be twice as diligent in obeying the instruction – for they knew that failure would bring direct consequences down on their head.
She will not speak to Mitsuki, or anyone else who asks where I might be gone to. That should give me a little time…time to get where I want to go without being interrupted or disturbed.
He slipped into the stairwell, closing his eyes to steady his racing spirit power, and then forcing his body into shunpo. Although he was far from well enough to be using such things, he somehow managed to make the step, dropping in an exhausted, dizzy heap outside the family mausoleum and drawing a deep, shaky breath into his lungs. He felt sick and giddy, the world swimming around him. But even so, he pulled himself to his feet.
He could not truly believe Ribari was dead. Not yet. Not until he had seen it for himself.
Aside from two Kuchiki retainers standing guard at the entrance, the mausoleum too was deserted, and the men did not question his being there, bowing their heads in respect to him as he passed. Wearing the uniform of the Sixth Squad had been the right decision, he realised, for they obviously assumed he was there in his official capacity to pay respects to the corpse of a slain comrade. It wasn't all about kin, and when he considered it, Shirogane realised that this was true. Ribari was his kin and his social superior, but also his deshi and his subordinate officer.
If I'm honest, more and more my world here has revolved around Ribari-sama's. Guren-sama did that on purpose, I'm sure of it. He chose me as his Vice Captain, and wanted to see me prove myself as a trainer of others so that he could utilise me – to teach Ribari-sama, to guide him, and perhaps, one day, to work as Seiren-dono does in Guren-sama's own court – to support and advise the Head of the Kuchiki Clan.
Perhaps it was for mother's sake, or maybe it was for mine. But clearly Guren-sama planned for all of this – to forge a bond between Ribari-sama and I so that I would feel a connection to him and come to offer him my undivided loyalty. Instead, it's made me feel undivided grief. We're burying a boy who I cared for a lot – but in doing so, we may also be burying my own future, too. My fate and Ribari-sama's – my position and Ribari-sama's…may well have been connected. And now he is gone…how will people view it? How will they view me? As Ribari-sama's grieving shishou – or as one who sought to usurp his position or to protect my Vice Captaincy? Guren-sama intended us to work together – for me to establish myself alongside his son. But others may glean other motives…I'm not safe, now. Nothing is safe, now. Perhaps Seiren-dono was right in his concerns . The image I present now…may determine everything from this point on.
He paused inside the entrance to the mausoleum, resting his hand against the wall as his vision became grainy and blurred.
But I need to see for myself. I need to see Ribari-sama…I need to see it for myself.
Repeating this a few times to himself, he managed to regain control of his balance and his senses, and he forged on, heading deeper and deeper into the Kuchiki-ke's memorial sanctuary. It had been built entirely from white stone, the two swans of the Kuchiki family carved deeply into the stone above the entrance as a symbolic sign that all who were remembered within this place were honoured members of a blessed Clan. Though Shirogane knew that the memorials and tombs were all for show, it still held a certain amount of reverence in its atmosphere – as though his ancestors truly slept here, waiting for their fellows to join them in eternal rest.
Shirogane's own parents were remembered here, though their corpses had long since gone to dust and joined the spirit matter that permeated every part of Seireitei's atmosphere. He had very seldom been to pay his respects there, for he had known that he would only be praying to stone and incense and therefore had seen little point in the ritual pilgrimages that some family members made to their lost ones. To Shirogane, death was death, and rebirth was the start of a new life, not the continuation of an old. His parents were gone, and they could no longer either see or hear him – therefore it was a waste of his time to mourn them when he could be doing far more positive things to forge his path among the living instead. But even though death was a finality to him, Ribari's death still seemed cloaked in unreality.
Even the most skilled embalmer could not preserve a Clan corpse beyond a week, on account of the high level of spirit power most noble individuals possessed. Shirogane knew that for that reason Ribari's memorial and interment would happen sooner rather than later, even despite the uncertainty over his cause of death. The first ceremony was scheduled for the morrow – so today would be the last and only chance he would have to see his deshi face to face to say goodbye.
A pang of sadness struck through him at this.
Ribari had been wilful, selfish and sometimes more than a handful. But Shirogane had seen real potential in him, and he hated that that now had gone to waste.
The mausoleum, unlike other family tombs, was not all encased in stone walls and high-vaulted, patterned ceilings. Instead it was built in a square, four long blocks of passages and arched tombs that each led out into a central space where cherry trees bloomed and grass grew green and strong. This expansive garden-like space was meant for contemplation – for the mourners to offer prayers to their dead, rather than a place where family members were buried. However, as Shirogane crossed the damp grass towards the embalming chamber on the furthest side, he thought absently how much nicer it would be to be buried in this spot with the sky above him than in the cobwebby darkness, surrounded by cold marble slabs.
Perhaps, when it was his turn, he would ask for that. That his spirit be allowed to rest beneath the sakura, rather than among the dust.
Not that the mausoleum was neglected or dusty, he acknowledged to himself as he carefully and gingerly mounted the steps that led up to the embalming chamber. On the contrary, the Kuchiki employed more servants than any other Clan, and some of those were hired simply to keep this place tidy – to sweep the floors, remove dead branches, and make sure that the final resting places of some of Seireitei's most esteemed souls were kept in a state worthy of their continued repose. Even the embalming chamber, where Shirogane knew Retsu-dono had been making her investigations into Ribari's cause of death was as clean as a pin – and as he pushed back the door, he could see the figure, covered by a dark blue sheet yet unmistakeably that of a person.
His throat seemed to suddenly close up, making it harder for him to breathe and he stumbled forward, suddenly finding each step harder than the next as he drew closer to the bier.
There was no lingering sense of reiatsu in the room, only a mixture of herbal scents and the drifting vapours of both preservative spells and the Unohana leader's investigative magic. Yet even though Ribari's spirit was absent, Shirogane felt a lurching sense of reality as his fingers brushed against the edge of the dark blue blanket.
Though he had known it was true, at that moment, he truly felt it was, too.
Carefully and not without misgivings, he drew the cover back, almost dropping it as his gaze rested on the face of his young student. The boy's features were reposed as though he was sleeping, his eyes shut and his expression peaceful. Yet this gave Shirogane no comfort, for he knew that it was an eternal sleep from which Ribari would never wake. On his neck, brought out and bruised from the length of time he had been dead, Shirogane could see the mark that possibly indicated the means of his murder, and anger flooded through him at the imperfection that touched the pale-as-chalk skin. It was a small mark, yet it seemed as though Ribari had been defiled – that not even in death had he been able to find perfection.
"Ribari-sama." He whispered, uncharacteristic tears touching his eyes as he sank down onto his knees, pushing his hands together instinctively as though to pray for the young boy's soul. Shirogane did not believe in gods or spirits or superstitions beyond those that marked his official duty – he believed only in the world around him and the power of the Kuchiki that he had seen every day since his early infancy. But in that moment he wanted something to pray to – some comfort that he could reach out towards to dampen the swirling uncertainty in his heart.
Ribari was dead. That was the end. There was nothing else.
Shirogane drew a breath into his lungs, feeling giddy and unsettled. Even the boy's serene expression seemed surreal and wrong, and in a brief, horrific flash he saw the boy's face in a different way – in a frightened, panicked way, as fear had gripped him before his collapse in the forest. Was that memory real? He did not know, but it was enough to make his heart skip a beat, and his hand went automatically to his chest, half afraid that he would pass out.
"What are you doing here?"
Seiren's voice startled him from his daze and he swung around defensively, wariness sparking in his grey eyes as he met his uncle's quizzical, disapproving stare. To begin with he could not find words, and Seiren's eyes narrowed. Two hands came down on Shirogane's shoulders, and the Vice Captain found himself hauled unceremoniously to his feet.
"I asked a question." The older man said softly. "You are meant to be in your chamber – so why are you here?"
"I came to see Ribari-sama."
"You have no permission to do so, as well you know."
"With respect, Uncle, the business of Sixth Squad is a shinigami's concern, and not yours." Shirogane gathered his wits, shaking himself free of his companion's grasp. "Ribari-sama was my deshi, and my subordinate officer. Therefore for me to come here is a natural state of affairs."
"For you to come here…" Seiren gazed at Shirogane long and hard for a moment, then, "And is it also a natural state of affairs for you to tie your hair with parchment ribbon and to grovel on the ground before a body when I have not once seen you kneel and pray before your mother's monument?"
Shirogane fell silent once more, and Seiren sighed, grabbing the younger man by the arm.
"Leave, and I will not report it to Guren-sama." He said quietly. "He is concerned enough about you and your odd behaviour without adding this to the equation. Perhaps I don't always see the same world as you shinigami do, but I have seen you grow up and I know better than you think your views on the matter of death. To you it is a final step – a door closing and nothing more. You haven't come to this place since your mother's death, and then you came only as a matter of ceremony. Now you come here of your own free will even though tomorrow you will be here by duty's command to mark his interment formally. You don't even realise it yourself but you aren't making clear sense. And Guren-sama will only worry more…"
"Guren-sama has not told me I cannot offer grief or prayers for my student!" Something inside Shirogane snapped, and he flung back his hand, knocking Seiren's away as he took steps back from his companion. "I have every right to come and pay respect to a comrade – much more to a cousin and a boy who was the heir to this Clan! You do not have the authority to order me otherwise, not unless Guren-sama has said so! You are just my Uncle, Seiren-dono – a man with no right to rule this Clan and no power that Guren-sama does not give you! You cannot so easily command me, just because you are Guren-sama's brother!"
"And you are simply the son of my younger sister and of a man of fourth level descent." Seiren's voice became edged with anger. "You should guard your words, boy, because your position is more precarious than mine. If not for Masane's blood-link to Guren-sama, you would be cast outside of the degrees of this Clan. If not for Guren-sama's promises to her, you would not hold any form of office in this family. There are people who speak and think well of you, but they do so because Guren-sama has done so. I am not so easily won over – and I am not going to be spoken to by my junior – both in age and in rank."
His eyes narrowed to near slits.
"I cannot inherit this Clan, but my standing in it remains the same." He added coldly. "By blood I am brother to the Clan leader. By blood I am closer to him than you or anyone else ever will be. Remember that before you cast words against me. I am not just your Uncle. I am your superior and you will listen to my words just as surely as you expect those shinigami to listen to you."
"My orders come from my Captain, and that Captain is not you." Shirogane snapped back, no longer caring that he was flinging decorum to the winds. Seeing Ribari's body had brought back the horror and uncertainty of his night in the forest, and an overwhelming sense of helplessness flooded over him, blinding him to reason and making him speak without thinking. "I am here as Vice Captain of Sixth Squad – a body to which you have no connection whatsoever."
"If I spoke of this to Guren-niisama, do you think that he would continue to tolerate your connection to it? When you can behave like this, before the corpse of his only son?" Seiren shot back. "Your actions disgrace both you and your mother. They disrespect Ribari-sama. You should leave here and not come back – in fact, I will recommend to my brother that you do not attend the ceremony, either. You are currently in unstable mind – and I would not have you defile the memorial in the way you've defiled this place today!"
"Ojisama!"
Shirogane did not know what had possessed him, but in that moment he felt certain that he would lunge at the older man, even swing his fists in his frustration and distress. Yet before he could do so, someone's fingers closed around his wrists, and he realised that despite his precautions, his nurse had tracked him down.
"Shirogane-senpai, please, calm down!" Mitsuki's words were gentle yet firm, and something in her aura made him take a breath, the tension seeping out of him as he gazed at her in confusion.
"Mitsuki." Seiren's gaze flitted to the newcomer, then, "I thought you were supposed to be keeping an eye on him. This is not good enough – you've seen the reasons why."
"I'm sorry, Seiren-dono." Mitsuki bowed her head, chastised. "This is entirely my fault. I didn't think that Guren-sama would mind if Shirogane-senpai came to pay his final respects to Ribari-sama like this – it was distressing him, but he seemed otherwise calm, and so…I thought it would be all right. That it might help, in fact…to give him closure before tomorrow's ceremony."
What is she saying?
Shirogane stared at her in astonishment, not quite believing what he had heard.
She did no such thing – she had no idea that I was intending to come here, and she certainly has no reason to take any blame for it. Why is she protecting me – what does she gain from this?
"I see." Seiren let out a heavy sigh. "You may be apprenticed to a Clan leader, Mitsuki, but you do not have the authority to act in District Six without the consent of your own. Remember it. Shirogane is clearly still quite unwell – you should make better judgements if you want to be a good healer in the future."
"Yes, sir. I understand." Mitsuki bowed her head again. "But please, do not punish Shirogane-senpai for wanting to see Ribari-sama one last time. They were very close – and this was the last chance he would ever have to…say any kind of goodbye. At present Shirogane-senpai's emotions are still very raw. I thought if he could see how peacefully Ribari-sama is sleeping – it might help assuage his guilt and put his mind at rest."
Seiren shook his head slowly from side to side.
"You are lucky." He said at length, fixing Shirogane with a dark glare. "That she will speak for you. Also, that I do not want to trouble my brother with anything that he doesn't need to address. But I warn you, Shirogane – if you cause any trouble at the memorial service, there will be consequences. I will deal with you myself, if that's the way it is. Remember that – I won't warn you again."
With that he was gone, cloak rustling against his body as he made his exit, and Mitsuki sighed, relief touching her expression as she released her hold on Shirogane's wrists.
"Good. I found you in time."
"Why did you say those things to Seiren-dono?" Shirogane eyed her warily, trying to judge her motives. "I didn't even speak of my plans to you. I slipped out while you weren't attending me. You had no reason to claim any responsibility – why did you?"
"I left you alone. That was my fault. Therefore it doesn't matter, really, what I'm scolded for." Mitsuki said matter-of-factly. "Besides, Seiren-dono was angry, and so were you. It wasn't a good situation – and I'm less significant in any of this. I'm just a hime, just third degree, just a healer already known for being somewhat unusual. If I get blamed, so what? I wouldn't care if I was evicted from the Clan, so I have nothing to lose."
She reached across to smooth down his shihakushou, and for a brief instant, though the girl was his junior, Shirogane felt something almost protective in her touch.
"You, on the other hand, have a lot to lose." She said frankly. "And I don't want to see you lose it."
"I see." Shirogane faltered, then he sighed. "I…I'm sorry."
"It's all right." Mitsuki shrugged. "Unlike Seiren-dono, I know your grief is real. I can feel it, in your aura – it pulses away even though you try to conceal yourself. My senses are much harder to deceive than most people's – so when I felt your reiatsu flicker and flare, I came here as soon as I could. I knew that Seiren-dono was with you – and I didn't want you to do anything you would regret."
"I very nearly might have." Shirogane admitted, glancing at his hands. "But you stopped me. And…I am grateful."
"I shouldn't have left you so easily alone." Mitsuki shrugged. "We're even. But for now, come back to your room. Till things calm down a little, all right? I know how you feel, but others feel it too. You're not the only one with a grieving aura. Seiren-dono's is raw as well. Right now people will more easily fight over things – and it's harder to mend bonds than it is to break them."
Shirogane pursed his lips, then, slowly, he nodded his head.
"You speak reason." He admitted reluctantly. "And not for the first time recently I'm realising that. I confess I scorned it when I heard you'd decided to become a healer, but I'm beginning to realise that it wasn't so much a choice as a vocation, was it? If you can read my aura so clearly as that...even from such a distance..."
"I was born that way, so this is what I have to do with what I have." Mitsuki agreed. "Just like you're in the position you're in, I'm working towards being a shinigami who mends stuff, not breaks it. That's my hope, anyhow."
She dimpled.
"But I still have work to do. My training isn't over yet. And I still make mistakes. Like letting you wander unsupervised around the manor when everything is how it is."
She glanced at him.
"Will you come back upstairs with me? I can't drag you by force, but..."
"I will." Shirogane agreed. "Since I can't lie to you, I won't. My head is spinning and I'm not steady on my feet, even though I thought I'd recovered sufficiently to do this. Tomorrow I will keep very quiet and say nothing unless I am addressed directly. Even the slightest flare of emotion currently sends me completely out of my easy control - and I do not like the sensation."
"Grief is an unpleasant one all around." Mitsuki's gaze flitted to Ribari's body, and Shirogane realised that although she had not known the boy that well, she understood his feelings all the same. With a start he registered that she had probably lost someone dear in the past - and that with her sensitivity of awareness, she too had suffered in the way he was suffering now.
He had never cared about such things before, but now he found himself thinking of it with a whole new perspective. Was this the lingering effect of whatever drug had poisoned him, or something else?
"Whatever this chemical is, it still lurks within me." He said softly, watching as she drew the dark sheet once more over Ribari's features, concealing him from view. "And I wish it to be gone, but it is not. How long, Mitsuki, before I can think like a rational soul again?"
"How long is a piece of string?" Mitsuki shrugged. "However long it takes. The drug is no longer in your system, senpai. The after effects of it are something completely different."
Gently she took him by the arm, and Shirogane did not resist as she ushered him out of the chamber and back towards the garden.
"This is an impolite and intrusive question, so forgive me." She added quietly, as they walked towards the main house. "But I know that you're an orphan - that your father and mother have both passed on. Yet your reactions to this are...almost as though this is the first person you've cared for and lost. And so I wondered..."
"Whether I hated my parents so much that I didn't grieve for them?" Shirogane offered her a wry smile. "You're right. That is an impolite and intrusive question. But since you just deflected blame from me, I will answer it. My father was often away from home and I barely knew him. My mother was always weak and sickly, and though I considered her close to me, I was not grieved by her death. She stopped suffering...and so I could let her go."
He turned back towards the mausoleum for a moment, then.
"Guren-sama has been very good to me, and so have Meroka and her family, as much as that girl drives me to distraction." He added. "So I did not feel the loss so greatly when either passed away. But Ribari-sama was very...alive. And he had a lot of future left. Besides, I was there. There and yet helpless...even while he was dying, there was nothing I could..."
He faltered, his hand going in horror to his face as he registered the warm wet sensation of tears beginning to roll down his cheeks. He cursed, dashing them away, but more fell and Mitsuki bit her lip, eying him in concern. Shirogane stared at her through the blur of his emotions, both fearing and dreading her next words, but instead of something nauseating and sympathetic, the girl's tones remained firm.
"This was not your fault." She said frankly. "Grieve if you must, but don't blame yourself. Ribari-sama would not blame you, and therefore nor must you."
"Mitsuki..." The firmness in her words brought some measure of control back to him, and Shirogane finally managed to stem the flow of tears, wiping his eyes on his sleeve and taking a deep breath.
"We'll go back to your room now, and you can rest some more." Mitsuki did not say any more, simply turning back towards the house, and Shirogane found he was grateful for her understanding of both his feelings and his pride.
She had acted as though it had not happened, yet her eyes had told him that she would not forget it had, and he nodded his head slowly.
"I'm coming." He said quietly. "Lead the way."
They walked in silence for a while, both deep in thought, and Shirogane found he was grateful for the silence as much as he was for Mitsuki's gentle presence at his side. As they crossed through the halls, several retainers bowed their heads to acknowledge them, and Shirogane was aware of at least one whispered conversation that was hurriedly hushed up as they passed, with lower Clansfolk sending anxious and pensive glances his way.
His eyes narrowed. He did not need to hear their words to understand what they were saying. They were talking about the Clan's succession - and as they reached the stairwell that led to his own chamber, he clearly heard the name of his uncle, followed by that of his cousin Ryuu.
So Seiren-dono is already beginning to move on the opinion that his son will now be heir to the Clan.
Shirogane bit his lip as he processed this.
Though in the circumstances, I can't criticise it. Ryuu's bloodline is acceptable and Seiren-dono has always grasped for power so long as I can remember. This only sets things back the way they once were - back before Ribari-sama was born. Ryuu probably is the next heir to the Kuchiki Clan - I doubt there are many at court who would argue it, especially since there is nobody else to take on the burden.
Mitsuki shot him a glance, as though trying to read his thoughts, but she said nothing, merely leading the way along the hall to his bedroom. The young serving girl was long since gone, and despite himself, Shirogane was glad. He did not feel in any mood to explain himself to an insignificant peasant wench.
Once inside the chamber, Mitsuki frowned, leaning up against the door with a heavy sigh.
"You know, it might be considered inappropriate for me to have a young kinswoman alone in my room like this, Mitsuki." Shirogane pointed out softly, and Mitsuki's cheeks flushed red as she hastily shook her head.
"I'm not really considered as a kinswoman for the most part. Not here." She said simply. "Besides, I have Guren-sama's direct instruction to treat you and make sure you recover. Therefore it is explained. Nobody will question it - or your honour in this regard, senpai."
Shirogane frowned.
"I wasn't thinking of my honour." He owned. "I was thinking of yours."
"Oh." Mitsuki paused for a moment, then she grinned sheepishly.
"I suppose nobody thinks that anything amiss would happen." She reflected. "Besides, it's such a very small concern, and I don't like to listen to rumours from outside."
At her tone, Shirogane eyed her keenly.
"You also heard them whispering, then, as we came here?"
"I've heard it a few times lately." Mitsuki looked troubled. "Though nothing official has happened, many people are already talking about the succession and Ryuu's name has come up a few times. I don't know...it seems too soon...but I think Seiren-dono has firm ideas, and I know that he can be hard to sway."
"Ryuu is probably the right choice, by blood." Shirogane shrugged. "I just find it hard to so easily replace Ribari-sama when his body is only just cold."
"Mm." Mitsuki chewed on her lip thoughtfully. "By blood...perhaps. But I don't think...Ryuu isn't..."
"You know him more than I." Shirogane dropped down onto his bed, leaning back on his elbows as he gazed across at her. "I confess I barely know my cousin outside of formalities. He seems always in Seiren-dono's shadow when here, and rarely tries to make himself noticed. When he does, nothing good comes of it. To be truthful, I've never seen any value in communicating with him. There didn't seem to be any need. But..."
"Ryuu isn't anyone's shadow." Mitsuki shook her head. "He and Seiren-dono have never been that close either, beyond the formalities, and he has his own ideas too. He's someone who's helped me numerous times, and I consider him a very dear friend - almost like a brother. Even though the rest of the Clan more or less shuns me, he never has. He's always seen it as his duty to protect me from all of that."
"Ryuu as a protector?" Shirogane smiled hollowly. "Somehow I find it hard to see."
He sighed.
"Either way, blood dictates in this Clan." He said resignedly. "I imagine Seiren-dono will have his way, so perhaps, if your words are true, it's a good thing. A good choice. For the Clan in the future. If Ryuu is really so strong as you say he is."
"Mm." Mitsuki did not commit herself any further, instead coming to kneel at his side as she reached across to touch his brow.
"You're not fevered, but something is distressing you." She observed. "Other than your fight with Seiren-dono - something else. Did anything happen before I found you? I felt your reiatsu spike, but..."
"I was sleeping." Shirogane's lips thinned as he remembered the dream, and Mitsuki's expression became one of understanding.
"Dreaming? About that night?" She asked softly. Shirogane nodded.
"I don't know what was real and what wasn't." He agreed slowly. "But if it was real - any of it - I don't want to dream it again."
"You know, if you remember things about that night, Guren-sama should..."
"I'm not allowed to see Guren-sama unless I go through Seiren-dono first." Shirogane cut across her, shaking his head. "And today's encounter makes me even more sure that anything I said to Seiren-dono would be treated as hallucination. He seems to believe me rendered completely unstable by this - and so he wouldn't consider my words as serious. Truthfully, I don't know if they are or not. Not entirely. But there are things...things that Ribari-sama...things that..."
He faltered.
"I won't bring you into it." He decided. "They're things you have no birthright to know, nor any reason to understand."
"That doesn't take away from whether or not you can talk to me about things. Even powerless people can listen." Mitsuki did not seem at all put out by his words, and Shirogane sighed heavily.
"No. Not something of this nature. Something relating to Sixth Squad...to Guren-sama's son...something that...could create waves..."
He moistened his lips, then,
"I will simply have to keep it to myself for the time being."
"If you're sure." Mitsuki eyed him keenly. "Though bottling up things isn't good for you - especially not when you're still recovering from a horrific attack. You should relieve yourself of whatever burdens you have - if not to me, then to someone."
"I can't..." Shirogane stopped mid-sentence, raising his gaze suddenly and reaching out to grab her by the wrist.
"Senpai!" Mitsuki let out a yelp, pulling back in surprise. "What are you...?"
"When do you go back to the Academy? Genryuusai-sensei's Academy?" Shirogane did not notice her discomfort, merely boring his grey eyes into her gentle ones. "I know you'll be here so long as the memorial happens, but...after that? You will go back...you, and Ryuu - both of you are still students, aren't you?"
"Yes." Mitsuki rubbed her wrist, looking confused. "I imagine it's as you say - when things have got calmer, we'll return. We're to be Senior Class this year, and so I wouldn't think Guren-sama would prevent us. Not even if Ryuu is the favourite for the Clan leadership. In fact, probably because of that - he'll want to have Ryuu prove himself the same as he wanted you to for your Vice Captaincy."
"Mm. Exactly." Shirogane's eyes lit up with a faint glimmer of hope. "In that case...perhaps there is something I can do. Someone I can speak to."
"Senpai?" Mitsuki stared at him, and Shirogane shook his head.
"For now, I'm going to rest." He said frankly. "Sleep and conserve my strength for tomorrow. I won't disgrace Guren-sama then, Mitsuki - you have my word. But afterwards...after the first ceremony is over, then..."
He trailed off, laying back against his pillow with a sigh.
It's a gamble, but one I have to take, now. If what Ribari-sama said is true, this isn't something I can simply babble to anyone and everyone. If he was right, if he was wrong - there are political implications. But I must do something, and if I can't get to Guren-sama, that leaves me with only one course of action.
He closed his eyes.
Perhaps it's time to see if you're right, Mitsuki - to find out whether my first cousin Ryuu is as reliable or as strong as you consider him to be.
The building was more or less deserted by the time Juushirou arrived, and for a moment he paused at the front entrance, stopping to gaze up at the familiar, well-worn grey stone of the old Yamamoto manor house that had some fifteen years earlier become the home of Genryuusai's illustrious Academy. It had begun quite small, with only a handful of students, yet now it was beginning to thrive, and Juushirou knew that this year for the first time there would be thirty new students for the first year - almost twice the number that had originally populated his own. At least half - maybe more - of these newcomers were District students, and Juushirou was glad. Little by little, they were finding their voice in a still largely Clan dominated society - paving the way for the future of Soul Society as a whole.
Juushirou knew he was at the head of that change, and that thought reminded him of exactly what responsibility he now held. A fleeting sensation of sadness washed over him as he realised that this would be the last spring he would stand on these steps. If all went well for them this year, they would graduate at the end of the winter - and then step out into an unknown future among the Gotei of Seireitei.
But that in itself is a challenge and an exciting one.
Juushirou pursed his lips, reflecting on this fact.
I love the Academy. I've loved being here, and I hope this year will be as full of new things and fun experiences as the last four have been. I really really want to make the most of what time we have left. But everyone else being here is a part of that experience. If they graduated without me, I'd be lonely - so I won't look back. If this is to be my last year...I'll grab it with both hands and take every chance that comes my way.
"You look far too deep in thought considering term doesn't begin for another twenty four hours."
A voice startled him from his reverie, and he turned, hearing a familiar chuckle as he met the laughing brown eyes of his closest friend.
"Shunsui?"
"Yes, you thought you had a day of peace and quiet before I showed up, didn't you?" Kyouraku Shunsui's grin widened, and he reached out a casual paw, patting his companion sympathetically on the shoulder. "But you're out of luck. I decided to ride a day early, since everything at home was getting a little noisy, and I actually realised I'd get more sleep here than I would in District Eight."
"I see." Juushirou's confused expression broke into a warm grin. "I wasn't expecting to see you - but I'm not unhappy you're here. The school seems quiet like this."
"That's because the hordes won't arrive till tomorrow." Shunsui observed. "There's just you and I and the teachers about today - at least, I assume. Unless anyone else got here early."
"You don't seem as surprised to see me as I am to see you." Juushirou pursed his lips. "Why would that be, I wonder?"
"Well, when Niisama got the letter about us being promoted to Senior Class, I sent word to Sora to find out all the details from her father." Shunsui shrugged. "Since I was fairly sure that it would mean you being chosen as Anideshi. And I was right, so I decided I'd come keep you company while you freaked out and adjusted to your new responsibilities. You were the obvious choice - I'm glad Yama-jii was wise enough to break with convention and do it."
"I don't feel very obvious." Juushirou said pensively. "But I guess that's your way of congratulating me, so thank you...I think."
"I suppose it was." Shunsui grinned unrepentantly. "Well? Are we going inside? Or are we standing out here admiring the view instead?"
"We can go in." Juushirou reddened. "Sorry."
"Don't apologise." Shunsui shook his head. "I know you. Soaking up the environment and making memories out of it before we've even left. But we'll have plenty to do, don't you worry."
"What's so noisy in Eighth District, by the way?" As the two boys walked through the unusually quiet halls, Juushirou cast his companion a quizzical look, and Shunsui pulled a face.
"My nephew." He said dryly. "Who has just discovered that if he puts his paws in front of his knees, he can move at speed from one side of a room to the other. He's also getting quite vocal - he's saying half words and even occasionally it sounds like he's speaking. But he doesn't really understand the meaning of 'quiet' and 'lie in', and his chamber isn't far from mine, really. Between him, his nurses, and Nii-sama fussing over whether everything he's doing is dangerous or whether him having eaten this or that random object is going to hurt him...I was happier coming back here."
He grinned.
"Although he's going to be an enterprising little tot. The day before yesterday, he got away from the maid in charge of him and somehow managed to get into Rae-chan's chambers. I guess she must've left the door open, but when they found him, he'd pulled a whole bunch of her underclothes down on top of him and was happily playing with them. And the week before that, he was in the grounds with his chief nurse, and he grabbed hold of her apron and clean pulled it right off. He's already got the right idea. With a little teaching from his expert uncle...he could go far."
"I see." Juushirou was amused. "Yes, I forgot you're not used to that. People think babies are noisy...but really, when they begin to move - that's the craziest time. And Harumatsu must be about a year old now, or thereabouts...mustn't he?"
"Yes. Just a bit more than." Shunsui agreed. "I'm fond of the tyke, don't get me wrong -and more than happy that one day the Clan will fall to him, and not me. But...like you said, I'm not used to small, screeching things invading my space at random intervals. It's remarkably unnerving - I have a new respect for you with all those younger siblings of yours. And even more for your stepmother."
"It's not so bad." Juushirou laughed. "But it will only get more crazy from this point. In comparison, being a Senior at the Academy will seem a walk in the park."
"Rae-chan seems to be starstruck enough by Haru that she's already talking of having a large family." Shunsui shook his head as if he found this hard to believe, letting out a sigh. "I don't know why, since you could hear her screams from the grounds when he was born. But I guess women are stronger than men in the end...we take battle wounds and fret and bleed all over the place. But they give over their bodies knowing that it could kill them, give birth yet still smile and laugh and talk about the next time. I don't understand it - not one bit. But that's how it is."
"Okaasama was always the same." Juushirou said thoughtfully. "Even though Hahaue died when I was born, Okaasama never seemed scared. And Chihiro's already talking about wanting her own children, too. P'raps you're right. Women are strange things...but thinking like that, it's quite a relief not to be one."
"Yes. I think I agree." Shunsui laughed.
"Shunsui...while it's just the two of us..." As they reached the foot of the main staircase, Juushirou stopped, turning to cast his companion a troubled glance. "Have you heard anything...I mean, about...Ryuu and Mitsuki and..."
"You're the District Six native, so I imagine you'd have heard more." Shunsui's eyes immediately became grave and he shrugged his shoulders. "I know what Niisama told me, which is that he had received a message sent via the Council of Elders that Guren-sama's son had been unexpectedly killed in a suspicious incident and as such Guren-sama would be observing mourning and not attending the Council until the memorials were all at an end. That's all I know. No more, no less. But I imagine it will mean a while before Mitsuki or Ryuu turn up here, if they even do."
"I thought of writing, then thought it might create further uncertainty." Juushirou sighed. "To have a letter arrive from a District nobody in the midst of a family crisis. So I haven't, and I've not had any communication from either of them. I know what I do because Genryuusai-sensei told me when he came to ask me formally to be Anideshi...but even though I don't know much, it bothers me."
"Assassinations happen in Clans - either from the inside or from the out." Shunsui said bleakly. "Unfortunately its one of those unpleasant facts about the high nobility that never seems to go away. Though this one is a mystery by all accounts. Nii-sama said that Ribari-sama occasionally came to Council these last few months, since he was approaching his majority. He seemed harmless enough - and more significantly, well liked. Niisama said that a few times in the last few months both Seiren-dono and Ribari-sama attended the Council and that while debates were in session, Seiren-dono and Ribari-sama would have their heads bent together, Seiren-dono explaining to Ribari-sama the things he didn't understand. Niisama said he'd never seen Guren-sama and Seiren-dono attend Council together before - but because Ribari-sama was there..."
"Seiren-dono...is...Ryuu's father?" Juushirou asked hesitantly, and Shunsui nodded.
"Apparently. I've never met him, so I can't be certain, but I think so." He agreed. "I don't know that Guren-sama has any other blood brothers."
He shrugged.
"Either way, I'm sure the whole Kuchiki is currently in uproar. Things will settle - they do because they have to - and Ryuu and Mitsuki will probably be sent out of it as soon as it's possible to do so. What will happen in the long run, only the Kuchiki know. But Sora didn't mention anything to me about either of them being withdrawn from the academic roll or anything like that. So if you're worried about that, Juu..."
"No...I mean, I am, but...I'm worried about Ryuu." Juushirou sighed. "The way Sensei said it...ah, perhaps I'm over-reading it. I just...got the impression that things would get difficult for him now. That's all."
"When is the Kuchiki anything other than difficult?" Shunsui asked simply. "Listen...I know what you mean and why you feel that way. And probably if there's anyone other than Mitsuki-chan that Ryuu will confide in, it will likely be you. But he isn't the kind of person to blurt out home truths or troubles on a whim - he may not want to talk about this at all. And so you mustn't try and make him - all right? He's not that kind...and probably he'll just be glad to get back to some semblance of normal."
"Mm. I know." Juushirou nodded. "As Anideshi, I'll probably have more things to do than I'd like anyway - no matter how worried I am."
"Well, it seems that there's one more early arrival than we anticipated this morning."
Genryuusai's voice from the hallway made both boys turn to meet the amused gaze of their headmaster, his customary cane clutched between wizened fingers and his long bristling beard glistening white in the patchy sunlight that streamed through the windows. Yet there was a gravity in his expression too, and Juushirou frowned, bowing his head in acknowledgement of the other man's presence.
"Good morning, Sensei." He said quietly.
"Good morning, Anideshi." Genryuusai replied evenly. "And you too, Shunsui. Though for you to turn up quite so early for school is out of character – to what do we owe this pleasure?"
Shunsui grinned wryly.
"Sensei, you knew I was coming here probably before I even left District Eight, so don't think I believe you were surprised." He said frankly. "But I came to give Juu some support on his first day in such an important role. That and to get a quiet place to sleep for at least one night before everyone arrives - that's all right, isn't it?"
"I have no objections." Genryuusai relented, shaking his head slowly. "At present, much is in disarray in any case. There are a good number of new students coming tomorrow, and it will not hurt to have extra help. Retsu-dono is not currently with us, and Uebashi-sensei has been delayed by a family matter that will see him arrive late tomorrow night rather than early in the morning. Consequently, if you're offering help, I won't refuse it."
He sighed, then,
"In truth, I am not upset to see you." He admitted, reaching out a wrinkled hand to rest it on Shunsui's arm. "You will know better than most that my choice of Anideshi this year is a sound one. I expect Juushirou to make a fine leader – but there will be those who question him. I am sure I don't need to ask you to support him as much as you are able."
"Of course not." Shunsui looked surprised. "I would've argued with you, Sensei, if you'd chosen me or anyone else. It has to be Juu this year. Nobody will bother about it. But of course I'd support him. What else would I do?"
"Shunsui." Juushirou reddened, shaking his head. "It's not so simple as that."
"Why? Because you're District?" Shunsui snorted, but Juushirou shook his head.
"We're all being promoted, but most of last year's Fifth years aren't." He said quietly. "Only four of them are coming up with us, and I've been chosen over all of them despite their Clan positions. It may cause unrest to begin with. That's what Sensei means."
"I see." Shunsui's clever eyes became thoughtful. "That's quite a bold move then, actually. I had wondered why all of us…and what had happened to our immediate senpai."
"They have only themselves to blame if they are upset about their current places." Genryuusai said gravely. "But sometimes it takes time for students to realise that faults lie with them and not with others. Doubtless there will be some dissatisfaction, but the truth is that whilst the four students promoted with you are about equal to some of your classmates, even as Fourth Years you both outshone them in all of the four disciplines. You will remember that your class were asked to sit special assessments at the close of last year. Those assessments confirmed what we all as staff already knew. You must be promoted to Senior Class this year. Not to do so would be a travesty on both of your abilities."
Shunsui looked rueful.
"I'm not sure I like the implication of that." He said with a mock-heavy sigh. "It sounds like this year I'm going to have to actually work to keep my place."
"Yes, I expect you to work." Genryuusai's eyes became flinty for a brief moment. "If you do not want to disappoint your brother and your Clan, Shunsui, you will do so from the very start. There is at least one student entering Fourth Year this year who fights with the left hand, and considering your particular skills in that area, I have already earmarked that student to become your deshi once such things can be timetabled."
"Not really?" Shunsui looked aghast, and Genryuusai smiled, nodding his head.
"Really." He agreed.
"I feel bad for the poor kid already." Shunsui rubbed his temples. "Sensei, why me? Juu also fights with his left and his right, why would you…"
"Because you are naturally skilled that way, whereas Juushirou's left hand is still weaker than his right." Genryuusai replied. "There's no point in complaining about it…if you intend to wear a haori, this year you will truly earn it."
"Will I get to take a deshi too, Sensei?" Juushirou asked eagerly, and Genryuusai nodded.
"Yes. Without a doubt." He agreed. "The year below your own are a remarkably bright and spirited bunch, if not quite on a par with your own endeavours. I expect at least four or five of them to be ready to being formal practical zanpakutou training this year – and of course, that's something that Anideshi would not be able to excuse himself from."
"I wouldn't want to." Juushirou's eyes sparkled. "Nagoya-senpai helped me so much when I was raising Sougyo…I'd like to be able to do the same for someone else."
Genryuusai glanced at them both, then chuckled, shaking his head in amusement.
"You are both still such opposites, even now." He murmured. "Very well. Then for the time being, both of you must settle in. Juushirou, I imagine you know where Anideshi's nest is located – the room has been cleared and emptied and,"
He paused, slipping his hand into his obi and pulling out a key,
"Here is the key. Shunsui, you will be sharing a room with Endou Hirata who will I expect arrive fairly early on the morrow. So I have heard from his father, in any case."
"Sensei, about Ryuu and Mitsuki?" Juushirou asked, and Genryuusai nodded his head.
"As I'm sure you've surmised, they will not return tomorrow." He said gravely. "They will come to District One when the formal memorials and statutory mourning for the young boy's passing have been correctly observed. I had worried that they might not return...but it seems Guren-dono intends them to finish their shinigami education regardless of what problems now face his Clan. So we can expect them in maybe a week or two from now."
"The death of an heir is a serious business." Shunsui reflected. "In those circumstances, we didn't expect anything else."
"Then I want you both to understand the real severity of this matter." Genryuusai said quietly. "Ribari-dono's killer is an unknown identity at the current time. They may be Kuchiki, they may not. Either way, it is not something either of you should try and get involved in. Understood? Ryuu may or may not confide in you. Mitsuki also. But even so, this is a Kuchiki matter. I want you to be aware of that - Juushirou, you most of all. With your blood heritage...you may cause more harm than good."
"I'm sure I'll have plenty to do without that, sir." Juushirou said evenly. "It's all right. We'll be careful. My family still mostly live in District Six and I'm fairly sure the Kuchiki aren't interested in an illegitimate Kuchiki son getting involved in their matters of state. I won't even mention it unless one of them do."
"Good boy." Genryuusai seemed relieved. "Then you understand the delicacies of this matter clearly. Very well. Then I will leave you to settle yourselves in. Tomorrow will be a busy day - and there is still much to do today!"
"You can go when you've finished piling those up, Nanaki."
In the laundry room below the main house, the young maid turned, smiling and bowing her head slightly to her superior as she placed the last of the fresh towels in their proper places.
"Yes, ma'am. Thank you." She murmured, carefully straightening the soft white stack. "I'm grateful for you giving me an afternoon - otherwise my brother..."
She faltered, looking grave, and the older woman smiled, clapping her hand down kindly on the young girl's shoulder.
"Ah, I know." She said quietly. "Raised two of my siblings myself after plague took mother and father so I understand. You run along and see to him for a while. We'll see you back here around sundown - you've done more than your share here already and there are some others I can whip into working for the time being."
Nanaki dimpled, bowing her head once more and withdrawing from the chamber, her fingers moving to unfasten the ties of her servant's scarf as she went.
She walked slowly and thoughtfully down the hallway, bowing her head almost automatically to the various members of the Clan and those members of staff who ranked above her as she made her way calmly to the servant's entrance. As she stepped out into the cold air, she took the servant's scarf from her head, lifting up her face to feel the breeze against her skin. It was a cool, crisp afternoon - and as she gazed up at the sky she judged that she probably had three or four hours to herself - precious time indeed for a servant of the Kuchiki.
But she had been lucky in all respects, this time.
Picking up her pace, she ran along the back lanes and over the uneven grounds towards the dirt pathway that led to the small, insignificant village shrouded by trees just beyond the Kuchiki estate lands. Her thick braids of dark hair flapped against her shoulders as she ran, the ribbons loosening in the breeze but she paid them no attention. In fact, she relished their loosening, for she had never liked her hair fastened up in this way, even if she understood the necessity.
But right now, she did not have to think about those things. Instead, she could focus on something else - the true purpose for her being here.
Her lips thinned and she let out a slight sigh as she reached the outskirts of the village.
It was her duty and she understood it - no, she corrected herself, she had offered to do it, since she had known it would bring both praise and approval in her direction. But she felt abandoned in this place - and no matter how she tried, she disliked the pattern of her new way of life.
Still, she reflected, even as she waved and called out a friendly greeting to the son of the village elder, it was necessary this way. All of it was necessary.
She slipped behind the derelict, half-abandoned shrine, clambering over the staggered tree stumps as she reached her temporary home - a hovel of three walls with a rag slung across the opening to act as both a fourth wall and a curtain like door. For a moment she paused, steeling herself, then she flung it back, stepping into the dimly lit shack and gazing around her for any sign of the other occupant.
As she expected, he was sitting on the floor, his back to the wall, something sharp and glittering between his fingers. It was a dagger, polished and gleaming in the faint light, and Nanaki sighed, stalking across the chamber and taking it firmly from his grasp.
"You've been told enough times not to play with those." She said sharply, her voice changing in an instant from the soft-spoken, neutral tones of the serving girl to someone far more authoritarian. "Where did you even get it? It wasn't from me, that's for certain! If you don't do as you're told, you won't have any use at all. Sit here and wait for me - isn't that what I said?"
The other occupant raised his gaze, his vivid golden eyes meeting hers, but there was no emotion - not even the slightest hint of remorse - in his glance, and Nanaki sighed, running her fingers through her hair.
"I suppose I'd better feed you." She murmured, more than half to herself. "Since you won't feed yourself, and there's nobody else to take care of it. But oh, I wish I hadn't been left here to deal with you alone. Like this...I have no idea what to say to you."
She closed her eyes briefly, as if gathering strength, then,
"Stay here." She instructed. "I'll be right back."
Author's Note
Gomen for the late update...yesterday I spent in two cars, three trains, one underground train and one aeroplane. Therefore by the time I got home...after 12 hours of travelling non-stop...I sort of just went *flop*.