Hope you're enjoying- not long until this will be finished I think! Although the last time I said this about a fic it took three further months.
After enjoying a spot of tea with their new friend the time-travelling troll Hermione and Harry bid him goodbye. The troll tips his cap to them and disappears with a brief pop.
Meanwhile in the dungeons:
A troll lumbers around cluelessly, club thudding against walls as it swings its arms. It topples a set of armour and a portrait wakes up.
"What the devil are you doing sir?!" Shouts the figure, outraged, "You are awfully tall for a Hogwarts student- in my day we would not have had any of your kind wandering around our hallowed halls!" The troll roars and dashes his club through the painting.
Quietly at either end of the corridor creep in men and women in camouflaged robes. One with a long, grey beard makes a complicated hand signal. A man with a hooked nose gestures back with an equally intricate movement of hands and arms.
This is responded to with an an elaborate dance by the bearded man.
The hooked nose man replies with a brief dance of his own including wand based pyrotechnics.
The troll stares at the odd occurrence, flabbergasted.
Dumbledore clears his throat and begins to beat box as Snape does odd movements reminiscent of the mating dance of some as-of-yet-undiscovered bird.
Awkwardly Professors Flitwick and Sprout join in. The entire student body of Hogwarts minus two watches in confusion as the scene is magically projected onto the ceiling of the Great Hall where they have been barricaded in.
"Enough of that!" Snaps McGonagall in disapproval and transfigures the troll into a whiskered orange fish wearing a crown.
Dumbledore opens his mouth to complain about her interruption of the traditional Hogwarts there-is-a-troll-in-the-dungeons-and-we-don't-know-why-so-we-assembled-a-team-of-our-best-fighters-to-dispatch-the-beast-but-we-would-rather-dance-than-fight-and-it-took-us-forever-to-find-it pre-battle intimidation dance but is wisely discouraged from it by the Potions Master frantically making an X-sign behind McGonagall's back.
The troll-fish flops around uselessly. It doesn't seem to be dying.
With a flick of McGonagall's wand the fish is floating down the hallway after her.
Everyone transfigures their robes back into their usual states.
The incident is never spoken about again.
Hermione seems to calm over the next few days, returning to her usual state of workaholism and no longer diving beneath tables at the slightest movement. Harry quickly focuses back in on his education too, easily catching up with the neglected efforts of his last few weeks while he's been preoccupied with finding a stone in a castle and panicking about the impending doom of the entire universe.
For the whole month of November Hogwarts is pretty normal. Dumbledore only has to refill his bowl of lemon sherbets nine times a day and the only thing out of sorts is the increasing number of zombie Ravenclaws and the slow spread of zombie Hufflepuffs.
Early in December, given Jodi's permission, Harry meets with his godfather again. They wander the school unsupervised for hours (despite Snape's fretting about the school blowing up and threats to blow Sirius up). Immediately upon arrival Harry leads Sirius into one of the far reaches of the castle and wraps privacy spells around the room.
"What's this about Harry?" Asks the godfather, wand already in hand as his head whips from side to side warily.
Harry looks him in the eyes determinedly.
"I've got something I need done." The boy states. His godfather shifts, tilting his head back and nodding speculatively.
"Well. Tell me what you're thinking and I'll see what I can get done." The man pauses, "Double points if it's against Snivellus." He continues. Harry stares at his godfather awkwardly.
"Oh. No. It's nothing to do with Snape really. All I need you to do is take this package and give it to a red-head when you go to visit my mom in America. It's extremely important that you don't tell anyone about it." Harry clarifies. Sirius smirks.
"Any more information about this red-head? Taking after your father, are you Prongslet?" The roguish man winks with a grin.
"What?" Harry can only utter that one word.
"Your red-headed friend in America- a woman I presume? Must be pretty serious about her to ask me to hand deliver something private to her? Don't worry- I'll be discreet." The older man winks at his godson again.
Harry turns a rather horrid shade of green.
"No. She's really, really. REALLY. REALLY. Not. She's just- ew. No. She's like my Auntie." Harry tries to fight back disturbing images as he speaks. It's Sirius' turn to go pale. He nods blankly.
"Oh. Sorry. Anything else you can tell me about her so I can find her more easily?" Sirius apologises, still looking quite ill. Harry nods woodenly.
"She's Scottish and normally wears fancy dresses. She's a magician unlike my mom which is why you can't say anything to my mom because of American wizarding laws. Called Rowena. My mom doesn't know she exists either." Harry says, pulling the wrapped stone from his pocket. He passes it over to Sirius who cringes, tucking the magical object into a pocket somewhere inside his own robes.
"Really sorry about that Harry- anytime you do need dating advice though you know where to come." Says the man, wincing.
"Yeah. I'll keep that in mind." Harry states, nodding.
The two stand, staring into nothing for a while longer.
"Anyway- guess I should probably be going…" Sirius says after a while. Harry pays little attention, merely nodding again.
"Yeah. I guess you should." He agrees. The godfather backs out of the room awkwardly.
In a grubby house somehow squashed in between two considerably more normal looking houses three men and a woman appear.
"We have come to destroy the locket, house elf." Says the leader of the group, opening the kitchen cupboard door without moving a finger. A long-eared elf glares from the back of the cupboard.
"Kreacher does not know you. Why should Kreacher trust wizards dressing like Muggles?" Asks the unclean elf. The woman rolls her eyes, inspecting her nails.
"Because we can either destroy the locket or destroy the whole house, elf." She taunts, eyes not moving to the creature. At this the house elf's eyes light up a little although his expression remains wary.
"You mean Master Regulus' locket?" He asks, presenting the huge gold pendant to them, holding firmly onto the chain, "You want to destroy Master Regulus' locket?" He confirms. One of the men steps forwards, blue eyes shining mischievously.
"Yes. We would. If you just give us the locket we'll get rid of it." He says with a smile. The house elf doesn't hesitate, flinging the locket at their feet.
"You are good wizards. Kreacher is thankful for the wizards destroying the locket. It is my Master's wish." Kreacher heaps praise on them and in the space between one blink and the next the four wizards disappear, the locket with them.
Kreacher weeps with joy, feeling happiness once again touch his soul after so many years.