A/N: Happy birthday, Percy! Kudos to MandyinKC for suggesting this date for posting when I mentioned this scene. Credit for the club name goes to ... vancabreuniter or kankusan, I honestly can't remember who now (this file had a May 2014 date on it *rolls eyes*). Extra kudos to the person(s) who can tell me in which fic Lindsay Campbell first appeared-she's not a recent invention!

Pay attention to the title, or you'll miss the joke at the end!

Also, I have a favor to ask-I've posted a fic-writing ask meme on my tumblr (keeptheotherone dot tumblr dot com) and would LOVE for any of y'all to participate! Pic a fic and a number (or two!) and I'll talk about my writing. Anon ask is on! keeptheotherone dot tumblr dot com/post/164469755530/reblog-if-you-are-a-fanfiction-author-and-would

August 22, 1998

the Melted Elf

London

George kicked Ron under the table. "Are you seeing this?"

Ron followed his gaze towards the bar. "Someone's chatting Bill up. So?" This occurred with enough regularity—at least for anyone approaching on his good side—to be unremarkable.

"Not just someone," George said. "Watch."

The witch in question stepped right up to Bill, put her hand on his far shoulder in a half-hug, and whispered in his ear.

Ron choked, instinctively looking around for his sister-in-law before remembering it was just his brothers and Harry out tonight, celebrating Percy's birthday.

"Who the hell is that?" Harry wondered.

"It gets better," Percy said. "He's nervous."

That was remarkable. Bill had taken two steps back and nearly spilled the pitchers he'd been sent to retrieve. The witch was unperturbed at this lack of welcome; hooking one high heel over the bar rail, she leaned back with both elbows on the bar and smiled up at him.

"Look at the way she's standing," George said. "Open, confident … they know each other."

"From Hogwarts, maybe?" Ron said, trying to picture his brother with the short, dark-haired, curvy witch.

Percy, who had shared two of his Hogwarts' years with Bill, wrinkled his brow in thought.

Bill had set down the pitchers and was talking to her now, his expression reserved, feet shifting restlessly.

"Girlfriend," Ron and Harry said together.

She had just trailed her hand down Bill's arm in a very familiar fashion.

"Definitely a girlfriend," George said. "That is not the first time she's touched him like that."

"What are you lot looking at?" Charlie asked, back from the loo. Both Ron and Harry were turned around in their seats.

"Bill's ex-girlfriend," Percy said.

Charlie snorted. "That narrows it down. Wait, is that—"

She laughed and leaned forward, giving most of the pub more than a glimpse of her cleavage.

"It is!"

"Who?"

"Lindsay Campbell," Charlie said with satisfaction.

"That's Lindsay?" Percy said incredulously, adjusting his glasses for a better look.

"Who's Lindsay Campbell?" Ron said.

"Bill's Hogwarts girlfriend," Charlie said. "They were pretty hot and heavy for—oh, three or four months, maybe? A record for both of them at the time."

Bill appeared to be making his regrets and glanced over his shoulder at their table. Charlie raised his hand in a wave, and Lindsay's face lit up.

"Shit! She's coming over." In their haste to turn around, Ron and Harry collided, then bumped again as Harry overcorrected.

Bill set the pitchers in the center of the table and dropped into the chair beside Percy, leaving Lindsay standing alone in the aisle. It should have been awkward, but she looked perfectly at ease.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't the Weasley boys, all grown up." Her smile could only be described as predatory.

"Sit down, have a drink with us," Charlie invited.

"Oh, I couldn't," she demurred, looking down, then up through her lashes. "It's boys' night out, obviously." She winked at Harry, who jerked his attention back to her face.

"I insist," Percy said, standing and offering his chair. "It's my birthday."

"In that case…." Lindsay stepped around Bill as if he were a lamppost and paused in front of Percy. "Happy birthday," she purred.

"It is now," he answered.

Lindsay laughed, allowing him to seat her. Ron turned to Harry, who looked as stunned as he felt. Smooth? Percy? He circled the table and Harry budged up to make room. Charlie refilled everyone's glasses, conjured one for Lindsay, and she raised hers in a toast.

Ron sipped his drink, waiting for the conversation to turn. But Lindsay never asked what happened to Bill's face. She didn't offer condolences on Fred's death or ask why Bill wasn't in Egypt anymore or request Harry's autograph. She talked about people Bill and Charlie knew from Hogwarts, her job as a photographer, and what Ron and Harry planned to do next. Her relaxed, friendly demeanor dispelled the pall that had settled over them at Fred's glaring absence, and by the time her glass was empty, Ron knew he wasn't the only one who was glad they had gone out tonight.

"Shall I take your picture? Who has the camera?" Lindsay looked around the group expectantly. When everyone stared blankly back at her, she sighed, picking up her handbag and pulling out her own camera. She stood at the end of the table, then shook her head and turned to the table behind her. "Excuse me," she said, indicating the table's surface and holding up her camera. "Do you mind? It's for the Weasleys. A birthday."

And to Ron's astonishment, the group picked up their glasses and pushed their plates aside, giving Lindsay room to step up on the table for a better angle.

"Much better," she said, crouching slightly and looking through the camera lens. "Lean in, everyone."

Ron slung an arm around Harry's and George's shoulders and followed her instructions as across the table Bill, Percy, and Charlie did the same.

"Eyes up here, boys!" Lindsay snapped her fingers over her head and the flash popped. She jumped down with impressive grace, considering her shoes, and picked up her handbag from the chair.

"You'll have to stop by the studio and pick it up," she said to Bill. "I'll have it ready on Monday. Bye, boys." And with a blown kiss to all of them, she walked away.

()()()()

August 22, 2016

the Burrow

"I still can't believe you dated her," Ron said, studying the photograph of Percy's twenty-second birthday.

"Don't tell me you didn't think she was attractive," Bill said.

"It's not that, it's just—she's so…."

"Anti-Fleur?" George suggested, and his brothers and Harry laughed.

"Exactly."

"Not everyone falls in love at eleven, Ron."

"I wasn't eleven!"

"What's that?" Hermione appeared, peering over Ron's shoulder.

"Nothing, love."

"When was this?" Hermione took the photograph from Ron's hand and flipped it over. "Ninety-eight," she said softly. "This must be the first picture of all of you. As you would become."

With Harry; without Fred.

She handed it to Percy, who put it back on the wall with the others Molly and Audrey had collected for his fortieth birthday party.

Harry and George exchanged a look.

"Hey, Hermione," Harry said casually. "Did Ron ever tell you where we went that night?"

"It was this place called—"