Wow. There aren't words to describe how happy I am! The reviews I've received are staggering, as are the numbers of faves and follows – you guys can't believe how happy you've all made me! To know that people approve of the way I've tackled this subject is overwhelming. I just sincerely hope that I can continue to produce the goods!
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Stony silence.
Tony had thought he'd seen Pepper at her most furious. Apparently he was wrong.
She was sitting on his bed, having been called there by Jarvis the moment she'd entered the building that morning. Tony sat in the arm chair by his desk; Evelyn wrapped up in a blanket and snuggled in his arms. She was awake, staring off into the middles distance as newborn's generally do. The rattle was tucked in next to her and her tiny hand was curled around as much of the delicate stem as it could. Every now and then there was a gentle tinkle of bells as she moved and jostled it.
"And she just left you with a new born baby." Pepper repeated flatly. "After not having got in contact with you during the entirety of the pregnancy and not going to the press with the juicy story of being impregnated by Tony Stark on a drunken one-night stand."
"Shit happens Pepper." Tony was exhausted. He hadn't slept since Loki left, preferring to just sit and stare at the tiny miracle nestled in his arms. He'd already negotiated his way around the first feed – Jarvis was the one who actually worked out how to use the milk formula – and first nappy change. That had been a moment of pride! However, he hadn't slept for over twenty four hours and although he was more than used to going without rest, he had never done so whilst battling through such intense emotions. And admittedly there had been a few tears as well.
Pepper seemed to realise this as she wound her scowl back down from Bloody Furious to Unbelievably Exasperated. "Fine. I get that this has happened. I still can't believe that you didn't call me immediately! Some crazy woman shows up on your doorstep in the middle of the night, hands you a baby barely a few hours old, tells you it's yours and what? Just hands it over and explains she never wants to see it or you ever again?" She shook her head. "I smell lawsuit all over this, Tony. Can you even be sure the baby's yours?"
Uh, yeah, pretty damn sure. But he couldn't say that since he supposedly knew nothing about the whole thing so instead made something up. "I ran a paternity test. She's mine. Plus she has my nose."
"Yeah, I suppose she does." Pepper sounded ever so slightly wistful as she glanced at the baby, before glaring at Tony again. "And what on earth possessed you to agree to keeping her?!"
"She's my daughter." The reply was instant and simple. "And I know we won't have lawsuit problems – trust me on that. The mother doesn't want any contact. She's…kinda reclusive, so most certainly won't go to the press."
"You can't know that."
"No, I really can."
"Tony!" And the tone of voice said it all. "What in God's name do you think you're doing?! You can barely look after yourself, let alone a child!"
The cold anger sent a chill through the man. He had known that she wouldn't be impressed, but to just come out with it and tell him that she thought he'd be a lousy father was a little too much.
"Hey!" He made sure to keep his voice quiet, but there was still a noticeable bite to it. "I will let you get away with that comment purely because you have been the one person to stick with me through the worst moments in my life and have put up with all the shit I could ever throw. But I am going to be a fantastic Dad! Evelyn is a part of me, she's got half my genes, half my DNA, and I am going to willingly throw the towel in on both the Avengers and Ironman if it means looking after her properly!"
The woman looked taken aback, a look of utter shock crossing her pretty face. "You'd give up on being Ironman?!"
"Yes!" The answer was immediate and entirely truthful.
There was a long and very uncomfortable silence, in which Tony relocated his attention onto Evelyn as she tried to focus on his face. Pretty much everything about her screamed Stark; the tuft of brown hair, the short nose, even her expression was set into an obstinate pout. But her eyes, oh her eyes were as un-Stark-like as they could be. Vibrant poison green, they were her only feature – currently – that bore any resemblance to Loki. Probably a good thing really, if they wanted to keep her parentage on the down-low.
He looked up again to see Pepper smiling sadly at him. "Oh Tony."
He was surprised to see that the anger had pretty much entirely vanished from her gaze, and the feeling that he'd missed something started to creep over him.
"Huh?"
"Of course I think you're capable of looking after a child. What I wasn't sure was if you thought you were capable of doing so."
"You're…you're not mad at me?"
She smiled again, this time a lot more warmly. "No, I'm not mad. I just wanted to make sure that you are really aware of what this will mean for your life. And that you truly want to do this."
Crafty girl! Tony couldn't believe that he'd fallen for it – that he'd actually thought she was furious with him. Pepper had always been a damn good actress. However, he had to admit that it was a good way of determining what his commitment to this life-changing decision was. Especially since he hardly wanted to tell her about the conversation he'd had with Jarvis, lasting hours, on the exact same topic.
A quiet bing from next to the desk made both Pepper and Tony look up. The electronic dumb waiter hatch had slide open to reveal a freshly made-up bottle of milk.
"Thanks Jarvis." Tony reached over and grabbed it, smiling sheepishly at his friend's amused look. "It's advised to feed a newborn every three hours to get them used to the process. This will be the third now."
"I'm impressed."
"Don't be." He grinned. "Jarvis is the one actually getting everything done." He rearranged Evelyn so that he could hold her in one arm and presented her with the bottle. She managed to focus on it and – this time – seemed to remember what was expected of her (the previous attempt had resulted in confusion all round and tears from both). And she seemed hungry.
"So, Evelyn? I would have thought something a little less usual would be more your style." Pepper said with a soft smile.
"Mum's choice. It means little bird."
Pepper slipped off the edge of the bed and quietly walked over to her friend, sitting down in the matching armchair so that she could see the baby more closely. "She does look like you." She conceded. "But she's cute, so she must take after her mum quite a bit too."
"Hey." Tony couldn't make it sound emphatic though, as he stared down at his daughter. "I still can't believe this." He admitted softly. "What did I ever do to deserve something so beautiful?"
"Don't, Tony. Don't go there. You're a good person and will be a great dad."
He glanced up at the red-head with a wry smile. "You think?"
She nodded emphatically. "Of course. I only said what I said earlier because I wanted to make sure that you believed in yourself. That you believed you'd be able to do this. Don't think for one minute that you don't deserve a family!"
The man smiled tiredly. "I hope I live up to your high expectations, Pep. I'd hate to let you down."
"You won't." She rose elegantly to her feet and leant forwards to kiss his forehead. "Do you want me to go and explain the situation to the others for you?"
What would he do without her?! "Oh God, would you?! I've been dreading the look on Hawk's face!"
"I thought as much." She flashed him a mischievous smile and straightened up. Her gaze lingered curiously on the baby for a few moments, but she was not a woman enamoured with small children so she was able to squash her impulse to ask to hold her. "I'll let you know how it goes." Evelyn hiccupped and Pepper's smile became adoring. Screw it – no-one is impervious to newborns! "Oh, and can I hold her when I get back?"
"Of course." Tony watched her leave the room then turned his gaze back to his daughter. She seemed to have tired of the bottle and turned away from it, eyes closing. "You tired, Evie?" He ran his finger down her nose in the same way that Loki had done, and the gesture seemed to calm her so that she slipped quickly into sleep. "Very tired, huh? Well, get some sleep, I have a feeling the next few days won't be easy."
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The accusing stares were actually quite painful. That surprised him; he was usually immune to such disdain.
"This has to be your dumbest venture to date." Fury was on video-call, his image projected on the huge TV screen in the main lounge. His voice was icy. "What possessed you to agree with this bitch and take in a child?! DNA tests aren't a contract, Stark, you don't have to keep the baby!"
"Uh, yeah I do." Tony had sat himself down on his favourite sofa, carrying Evelyn – it had reached the point where his arms felt empty without her. "She's my daughter. I don't know if you've ever heard of the term 'family', Fury, but it usually means a group of genetically linked people who look out for each other." He waved his free hand vaguely. "Or something like that. Either way – my daughter, my blood, my family. She stays."
"Your life-style is hardly appropriate for child-rearing!"
"Then I'll just have to change my lifestyle!"
That drew a sharp intake of breath from the other sofa and Tony glanced over to see Bruce leaning forward in concern. "Seriously? We're not just talking quitting the drinking, Tony."
Honestly! Did they all think him a child!?
"I know that! I'm fully prepared to throw the towel in on all this Avenger's crap." He snapped.
There was a chorus of exclamations at that remark. People just weren't used to Tony Stark being serious about anything, and Tony Stark with a baby was a situation no-one had ever expected.
"You can NOT be serious, Stark!" Fury bellowed over racket. "You have a commitment to this team and you think you can just swan off to play happy families?!"
There was something in the man's anger, in his tone of voice that struck deeply and Tony felt a cold chill of rage. Pepper, who knew him the best saw all expression suddenly leave the inventors face and she automatically reached out to take Evelyn from him.
"How dare you!" Tony was not a tall man by any means, but by any God there was he had presence. Presence, charisma, and complete and utter self-assurance. "How dare you even think of saying such things?! I'm not talking about going off on a pleasure cruise or something – I'm talking about raising my child! And there is nothing, nothing that any of you can do about that! It is my right as a person, as an American citizen, as a human being to have a kid and I can't see why that's so difficult for you to understand!" His acidic gaze swept the room – taking them all in. He was perversely smug to see Bruce cringe and Steve look shame faced. "This is my child, my daughter. I am her father and I'm going to do a damn sight better job of raising her than my Dad did with me. Any of you have a problem with that; just remember exactly who's tower you're all living in, where your funding is coming from and who looks after all your fancy equipment! You don't like it?" He jabbed a thumb at the door. "Then piss off."
Ironman didn't bother with waiting for a reply from any of them and instead turned on his heel, took Evelyn from Pepper and swept out of the room like Severus Snape.
Minus cape.
It wasn't until he reached his lab door that he realised he'd let his feet do the thinking. It was hardly the best place to bring a day old baby and a wry smile crossed his face as he recognised that most of his automatic 'safe places' would have to be re-thought. Bar, lab, a night club…yeah, that'd all have to go.
Evie was staring up at him and Tony wondered what on earth he should do now. Since the lab was out of the question he retraced his steps and made his way back to his bedroom. The baby items that Jarvis had ordered were in the process of being set up around the room – three little robots trundling around as they placed things in considerate and well thought out positions. Tony side-stepped one to reach his bed and sat down heavily.
Then Evie started crying.
And kept going.
And going.
And going.
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The first three weeks seemed to have whirled past in a blur of sleeplessness, feeding – every three hours, regardless of how tired Tony was – changing nappies, burping, cleaning up sick, panicking over whether she was still breathing every time she fell asleep and so much more that he had never taken into consideration.
It was exhausting!
Tony hadn't truly factored in just how much time and space a baby would take up. He had never felt so tired in his life and so damn helpless. Evie cried a fair bit – as could be expected – and every time she did he panicked that he couldn't immediately work out what was wrong. It was stressful, demanding and a time-consuming job. He couldn't even wear his favourite shirts since she had a habit of spitting up over him.
And of course there was the never ending job of Avenger-avoiding.
Other than Pepper he had severed all contact from the rest of the group since the meeting, which was probably childish, but he didn't care. Apparently most of the team had tried to make apologetic advances, via Pepper, but he'd ignored the lot of them. To be honest it was less him sulking and more purely not having the time to see anyone.
Pretty much anything not baby-related – mostly meaning Tony getting food or contact with the outside world – was done through the three little house robots that he'd now termed Scutters after the little do-all automatons on his favourite TV show, Red Dwarf. And Pepper of course. Just because she wasn't really a baby person didn't mean that she wouldn't step in for fifteen minutes or so when he needed to dash off for a shower.
But he was getting the hang of it.
Slowly but surely he and Evelyn were learning to work with each other, he anticipating when she needed something and her growing used to the routines set in place to help her stay healthy. It was a slow learning process, but they were getting there.
It was nearly a month before he agreed to see any of the team again – making it very clear that Fury wasn't allowed to the reunion.
It was a lot less tense this time. For a start Evelyn had just been changed and fed so was more than happy to stare blankly at everything as opposed to crying. It was strange to see which of the Avenger's were baby-people and which weren't. Natasha for example immediately asked to hold her and spent a good ten minutes speaking in incomprehensible Russian that the child seemed to be quite taken with. For all that he worked with kids, Bruce was far more reticent and was content to look over the Widow's shoulder. Steve feigned fearlessness, then looked like Evie was primed to explode the moment she was in his arms. And Thor was enthusiastic but had absolutely no idea how to hold her comfortably.
However, it was with Hawkeye that the reactions were the most surprising. Clint seemed a natural. He rescued the baby from Thor's hopeless grip and bounced her gently so that she smiled broadly at him. It was her newest trick, and she'd only been doing it for a few days so Tony felt a quick flash of jealousy that she was so ready to show off to someone other than him. As it was she was readily smiling at Clint as he pulled all the obligatory funny faces and made silly noises.
"You're rather too comfortable there, Hawk." Tony said with a grin. "Beginning to show me up."
"I haven't held a baby in a long time." Clint bounced Evie once more before handing her back to her father.
"You've held a baby?" Even Natasha looked sceptical at that news.
"Eleven year age gap between myself and my little brother." He shrugged when they all stared at him. "What? Aren't heartless assassins allowed backstories?"
Tony let the team bicker over Clint's little revelation as Evie yawned and he wrapped the blanket in his arms tightly around her again. "So." He cut through the discussion going on around him. "How's Fury been recently? You know, after he and I had our little argument."
There was a moment's silence before Steve shrugged awkwardly. "He's still somewhat unhappy with you-"
"Read as majorly pissed off." Clint added.
"Yeah, what he said. We were technically under orders to try and talk you round, but that seemed under handed."
"Not to mention whilst none of us are exactly lovely people, Captain excluded, we could never split up a family purely for team efficiency." Natasha put in coolly.
Oh.
Tony was pleasantly surprised that the team were on his side, and then felt guilty for being surprised. Of course they were on his side – they were supposed to be his friends after all.
"I…Uh…" Why was it always difficult to express simple gratitude? Probably because he was so used to believing that he didn't truly deserve it.
"Don't worry, we know you're not good at the putting-the-words-together-to-make-them-sound-meaningful thing." Clint said with a shit-eating grin. "You love us all dearly and don't know how you survived before we came along. Yeah, we know."
"Something along those lines. Only a whole lot less cheesy and a lot more sarcasm." Tony returned the smirk with one of his own. "But seriously guys, thanks. This means a lot to me."
"We figured. I don't think anyone ever thought they'd hear you say you'd give up Ironman." Steve added.
The comment made Tony look down at the sleeping bundle. "Well, she's worth it."
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The next few months passed surprisingly quickly. October came and went – Tony completely forgot about Halloween – November passed with little incident and it came as a shock when he realised that it was December. He was barely recovering from Thanksgiving with a baby when he discovered that he had to get through Christmas. The lack of drinking had been hard and getting through the festive season – and New Years! – was going to be a pain.
But Christmas meant something else too.
"I will visit on her birthday and on Yule – or Christmas if you prefer. Is that agreeable with you?"
He'd see Loki again.
Of course, that was a good thing from the point of view that Evie would have some contact with her mother, but Tony couldn't help but feel that he was glad for more reasons than just that. Reasons that he shouldn't really have.
He was always well known for being exuberant over the idea of Christmas – food, drink, presents, shiny things, it was very him – so no-one really noticed how avidly he was counting down the days. And if they did they just put it down as the First-Christmas-With-Baby syndrome.
Present shopping with a three month old was…an interesting experience. For one thing, the media wouldn't leave him alone. He'd found himself being chased even more than usual by the press, all of them demanding explanations for the sudden addition to the family. Thankfully he'd had years of practice at side-stepping such questions and could control himself enough to ignore any inflammatory comments.
Although he sued the Daily Planet without hesitation when, through frustration at him not telling them anything, they made up a story about his bad parenting. A $30 million lawsuit would teach them that libel is not the way to go about a story. It was also enough of a threat to stop them from starting a smear campaign. Overkill? Not where his daughter was concerned.
Sadly though it did mean that most of his Christmas shopping had to be completed online. Well, the presents that weren't custom-made in his workshop at any rate. It helped to pass the time though.
It seemed to take forever for Christmas eve to creep up, like it was purposely taking its sweet-assed time. It must have seemed like he had a crotch full of itching powder by early evening, what with the way he couldn't sit still. In the end he had sequestered himself to his bedroom with a glass of mulled-wine at only seven o'clock in the evening, feigning a headache so that the rest of the team wouldn't wonder what the hell was sending him to bed so early.
He'd gone all out in Christmasing his bedroom – tinsel, fairy lights, there was even a small tree in the corner. He didn't bother with the main lights, just turning on the twinkling ones. Evie watched the sparkling colours with fascination. It was way past her bed-time, technically, but she'd slept through most of the day and he wanted her to be awake for if or when her mother turned up.
"You like the lights? Maybe I should put some up in your room. What do you think?" He lifted her up closer to the twinkling Christmas lights that ran along the door frame. Evie smiled, trying to grab at them and Tony laughed. "Yeah. Extra present for you tomorrow. Fairy lights. What's your favourite colour? Must be red and gold. Yeah, red and gold fairy lights."
"You may find that she prefers green." The soft voice was accompanied with arms sliding around Tony's waist from behind and a chin coming to rest on his shoulder.
The warm smile that lit Tony's face threatened to split his head in half, it was so wide. "Well, I'm assuming that since it's nowhere near midnight that can't be Santa Claus standing behind me." He quipped lightly.
"Ho ho ho."
He turned, still encircled by the strong arms. "How do you even know about Santa Claus?!"
"I've been about a bit."
Tony leant forwards, his head coming to rest against the God's collar-bone as the hold on him tightened fiercely. "Can't believe I'm saying this; but God, I've missed you." He breathed.
There was a throaty chuckle against him. "Sentiment." Loki pulled back enough to look down at the baby in Tony's arms and his smile turned from smirking to wonderment. "She's grown…" He whispered.
"Yeah, babies do that, who knew?" The man passed her over, watching the expression on Loki's face turn to something akin to worship. He'd observed the trickster scared, angry, loving, pained, defeated, but this intense adoration was possibly the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. "She has your eyes." He added softly, looking back down at their daughter. "But everything else is pure Stark." When there was no reply he glanced back up at the God.
Tears were silently running down Loki's cheeks as her stared down at his daughter, entirely lost in a private world that contained only him and the baby. There was no way that Evie could remember him, but she seemed drawn to the dark haired man, her tiny fingers clutching his thumb like a life-line. "She's so beautiful." His voice was barely a murmur.
"Yeah. She also cries like a champ and could win an Olympic gold in pooping." It had to be said, and Loki did chuckle weakly in response.
"Of course she does, being whiney runs in the family."
"I do hope you're talking about yourself."
The trickster moved over to the bed and sat down, gently bouncing Evie as she smiled happily at him. He ignored Tony's comment, focussing instead on the tiny girl. "Can she hold her head up yet?"
The man sat down next to him, just close enough so that their arms brushed. "If she's lying on her stomach, yeah. Not for very long though." A grin crossed his face. "You should have seen a few days ago; I'd put her down on her stomach, turned away to grab her rattle and when I turned back she'd rolled onto her back all by herself. I think she scared herself stupid, cried for nearly half an hour."
Loki ran his finger down Evie's nose and she made a snuffling noise at him, her face scrunching up before smiling again.
"She's fond of you – she doesn't like many people, and certainly not people she can't remember meeting." Tony said with a grin. "She cries every time Thor holds her now."
Loki snorted softly at that. "Of course she's fond of me." Her lifted the baby up so that they were eye-level and she grabbed a lock of his hair. "Of course you're fond of your Móhðy."
Well what do you know, even psychotic Norse God's put on silly voices when talking to young babies. Tony hid his snigger, then the words registered.
"Wait, Móhðy?" He tried to replicate Loki's pronunciation of the word. M-oh-thee.
"It's a derivative of the Norse term for mother; Móðir. I suppose it is equivalent to mummy."
That should have been hilarious. It should have been priceless blackmail material that left Tony helpless with laughter.
But it wasn't. And it didn't.
This was the mother of his child – of their child – being able to interact with the baby for the first time since she'd been born. Loki had missed Evie's first feed, first night, first smile, first everything. And would continue to miss the developmental milestones throughout the child's life. And the Norse term for mummy only heightened the realisation that Evie would hardly ever use the term, would probably grow up with Loki as a near stranger who visited twice a year.
This wasn't just Loki missing out on seeing his child grow up and being able to form a bond with her, it was that the girl was going to lose out on having a mother around. Sure, Loki was certainly no woman, but he had been the one to give birth, he had been the one to carry her for nine months, to make the devastating decision to give her up so that she could have a secure future.
Neither of them deserved this. Heart-breaking.
It wasn't until a gentle finger reached up to wipe away the wetness on his cheeks that Tony realised there were tears there. He hurriedly scrubbed a hand over his face to rid himself of the rest, trying to pretend that that hadn't just happened.
"There are worse things in life." Loki said softly. "I still get to see her at least."
"Yeah. It's still sad." Tony leant his head against the God's shoulder. He managed a smile as he looked down at Evie who was industrially trying to eat her own big toe, unaware of the conversation between her parents. "There's so much the two of you will miss together."
Loki laughed sadly. "You don't know how lucky I am to even spend two days a year with her. It is more than I have ever had with Fenrir or Jormungandr." He tipped his head to rest on Tony's. "I know when to count my blessings."
The mortal didn't know what to say to that. The fact that Loki thought he was lucky with this arrangement was enough to make Tony think that he had an awful lot in his own life to be thankful for. Thinking of what he knew about the trickster's very long life, it was unsurprising Loki was content with such a meagre lot; he'd had to grow used to everything working out ill for him in the end.
"I've always wondered, how old are you?" Tony asked quietly. The God chuckled.
"Old enough for you to be very much a toy boy."
"Proper answer please."
"You won't like it." Loki glanced sideways at Tony's set expression and sighed. "Fine I was taken from Jotunheim as a newborn at the end of the war between Asgard and the Jotunn. That war removed the Joutunn presence from Midgard, what you all called the ice-age."
Tony's eyes widened. History wasn't his speciality by any stretch of the imagination, especially glacial history but he knew that the last ice-age was stupidly long ago. Weren't Neanderthal's still around then?
"So you're, what? Couple of thousand years old then?"
"A couple of thousand would put me at the end of the Roman era." Loki tickled Evie's tummy and was rewarded with a big smile. "Your father is an idiot, my dear." He glanced mischievously at the man. "
Tony glanced up at the ceiling. "Jarvis, help me out here if you will."
"I believe your guest is roughly five hundred thousand years old, sir."
"Half a million!?" For the longest moment he just sat there, stunned. Sure he knew Loki was old – hello, the Vikings told stories about him – but it hadn't occurred to him that the trickster was quite that old.
Yet…It made sense. His quick mind was still able to work through things even when the rest of him was in shock and it was already making sense of certain things. Say the stories in the myths did actually happen, then given Loki's age they would have happened during the dawn of man-kind; long before any written word had been invented. All the early humans probably knew was that these beings were from another world. Bearing metal, domesticated animals, highly stylized clothing and a complex hierarchical system it was more than possible that the Asgardian's would have been mistaken for deities by the primitive cavemen who were still only using flint-tools. And after the 'Gods' had left their stories would have been passed down by word of mouth through the generations until they became the pagan God's of northern Europe.
However, just because he'd worked it out didn't mean Tony was going to admit to it.
"And there are complaints that people are becoming parents at too old an age."
"Oh I'm not that old, fath-Odin is far older than me."
Tony had a snarky reply at the tip of his tongue, but was stopped when Evie decided that she was fed up with the current situation, as babies do, and began to cry.
"Oh rats, she's probably tired." Tony noted Loki's raised eyebrow at his choice of wording and held his hands up defensively. "Hey, I try not to swear around her!"
"Very admirable." Loki tried to bounce the baby a little, but she just cried harder.
"Uh, want me to..?"
"No, I can deal with a crying child, Tony." The God rose to his feet, the sobbing baby safely ensconced in his arms. "Sleipnir was a nightmare."
"Wasn't he a horse?"
"An eight legged horse who refused to go to bed. He was a nightmare child." There was fondness in the tricksters voice as he spoke.
"Sounds it." Tony felt that familiar and disturbing warm glow somewhere around his arc reactor as he watched Loki pacing, gently rocking their crying baby.
"Do you ever sing to her?"
"Uh, no, not really. Jarvis plays Mozart. Supposed to be good for babies and all that. I can't sing unless I'm in a shower."
"Hmm." Loki turned his back on the man to face the Christmas lights again.
For a moment Tony wasn't sure what the taller man was doing until he heard the soft melody. Not quite singing, not quite whispering. It was a chant, but with a noticeable tune, although unlike any one the man had ever heard before. He vaguely recognised the language as the same ancient Norse Loki had used before.
Closing his eyes he could see images flicker past. Fire and ice, a world of darkness that was so alien from anything he'd ever seen, and yet familiar at the same time. Then the words changed and they were spinning out over towering waves, a longboat prow cutting through the water, shields hanging from its sides. Bearded warriors, icebergs looming, undiscovered lands, thunder in the sky.
"Tony."
He opened his eyes again to see Loki smirking at him. "That was…different."
"That was one of the original Nordic sagas which I don't believe exists anymore, and certainly not the music. I would wager there are historians that would sell their souls for it." Loki tucked the blanket around the now-silent baby. "She's asleep."
"You have got to teach me that." Tony stood up as Loki walked towards him and rested his hands on the God's hips, the baby between them. "See, it's these little things that I wish we could share more often."
"Be thankful for what we have, Stark."
"Hmm." Tony smoothed down Evie's wayward hair, despite how short it was. "Is there any chance she'll have magic?" He asked hopefully.
It was an abrupt topic change but it had obviously been preying on Tony's mind for some time. Loki blinked at him in surprise, then gently cupped his hand around the back of the baby's head, closing his eyes in concentration.
When he opened them again there was a flash of pain there that already told Tony the answer.
"I'm sorry, but no." The trickster said quietly. "She doesn't have any residual magic."
"What, nothing?"
"Nothing. I strongly suspect that her life is indefinite – possibly immortal, but there is no magic backing it up." He ran his finger down Evie's nose –something that was fast becoming a habit. "Her immune system is strong, but the same as yours, and I can't see any Jotunn characteristics."
Tony stared at him. "Did you say immortal?!"
"Well, in the assumption that she does not meet an untimely end from an external influence it would appear that she otherwise won't die." Loki said it calmly, almost without thinking – after all, such things were normal to him. However, when he looked up his gaze lit with concern as the inventor staggered backwards away from him, falling back to sit on the bed. "Tony…?"
"Give me a minute." The man leant forwards, his head in his hands. He waved a hand at the door to the nursery. "Her crib's through there if you want to put her to bed."
Loki had the distinct feeling that he'd said something wrong, but decided to give Ironman his space for a few minutes and walked through to the other room.
It was dimly lit by a red night-light in the corner that gave the whole place a cosy glow. The God moved over to the crib – an extravagant affair that Tony had obviously paid top dollar for – but didn't put the baby down.
This was a precious moment that he had yet to have. Just the two of them, mother and child. And a moment where it didn't matter that he let his emotions bubble over and the tears to freely flow.
He had reached the point where he would allow a few tears infront of Tony – emotion was not a thing to be ashamed of, after all – but he still usually refused to truly let go as he now did.
His shoulders began to hitch slightly as the tears intensified, turning into full blown sobs, albeit quiet ones. As much as he'd tried to tell both himself and Tony that they should be grateful for him to at least see Evie twice a year it still hurt. She was of his body and blood and he had missed her from the moment that he had had to leave her. His arms had felt empty for every long moment of the three long months and he had no idea how he was meant to get through the next eight months without seeing the child.
"Oh my darling, I wish I could watch you grow." The trickster managed to get the words out around the wracking sobs. "I want to be here for you. I want to see you walk, and laugh, and learn. I want you to be safe." He managed a weak laugh as Evie gurgled in her sleep and fidgeted. "Please understand that I leave you because I want you to be safe. Don't grow up hating me for all of this."
And suddenly there were arms wrapping around his waist from behind. He hadn't even heard Stark entering the room.
"She won't hate you. I'll make sure of it." The man's voice was muffled as he pressed his cheek against the God's back. "She'll grow up knowing exactly who you are and what you've given up for her and she'll love you for it. I promise."
"I don't think that is something you can promise, Tony, but I appreciate it." Loki pressed a gentle kiss to his daughter's forehead then carefully laid her on her back in the crib. Then he turned in Tony's arms and rested his head in the crook of the man's shoulder. Tony could feel the sobs still running through the trickster, although they were ebbing, and he tightened his hold. "Hey, it's going to be okay."
"How exactly?" Loki's voice was stifled by his partner's shoulder but still sounded slightly amused.
"Uh…okay, you got me there, but it's what people say in these sorts of circumstances." Tony pulled back enough to give the taller man a small grin. "I don't usually do comforting."
"Possibly because you have no talent for it."
"Oh shut up. You're clinging pretty tightly for someone who thinks I suck at this." His grin widened as Loki managed a small smile of his own. "Come on, we can go and talk this over if you like."
He gently but firmly towed the God from the room.
"What if she wakes?" Loki asked as the door was gently closed behind them.
He was directed to the baby monitor on Tony's bedside table. "That's a one-way type of radio. She can't hear us, but if she starts crying we can hear her. Wonderful thing." Stark explained.
"So it seems." The trickster sat down heavily on the edge of the bed. He looked up as the man came to sit next to him, looking equally emotionally worn. "My earlier observation upset you, I'm sorry. I didn't expect you to react so badly."
"Yeah. I wasn't expecting to find out that our daughter is immortal." Tony said shakily.
"Why is that a problem?"
"Where do I begin?" He gestured with one hand around the room. "I'd expect her to out-live me. I'm not getting any younger and kids usually outlive their parents. They should outlive their parents. But to find that she'll outlive everyone is a lot." He shrugged hopelessly. "What if she marries? She'll have to see them die whilst never growing old herself. She'll never have a friend that will be with her forever. Hell, she may even outlive her own kids if the immortal thing isn't passed on and I would never wish that on her. No parent should have to outlive their child."
"I…hadn't considered that."
"You wouldn't. Being immortal isn't a new thing for you." He sounded bitter, although he was well aware that it wasn't truly Loki's fault. "But, hey! You're immortal, aren't you? So at least she'll have her Móhðy."
"Yes. She will." Loki acceded quietly. "Once I have removed the threat the chitauri pose."
"Yeah, get rid of them first." Tony glanced at him side-long. "How's that going, by the way?"
"Poorly. They seem to be able to trace me no-matter where I am and I have yet to be able to get a fixed lock on them. We are currently playing a very elaborate game of cat and mouse." The thought seemed to amuse the trickster slightly. "It is the first time I have come up against an enemy who has – as you would say it – a jump on me."
Tony had tilted his head to one side, eyes narrowed in a manner that told anyone who knew him that a Thought was forming. "What about being invisible? Surely they can't hunt you if they can't see you?"
"They hunt my magical signature; visibility has nothing to do with it." Loki held up a hand quickly. "And before you ask, that is not something I can hide."
"Huh." The man's face fell as his quickly thought-out plan was immediately thrown out the window. "What about-"
"Whilst I appreciate your wish to help, you truly know very little of the situation. Please don't insult my intelligence by assuming you can possibly think of something I have not already considered."
Tony drew in a sharp breath. "Okay. Ouch. You do know that sometimes it helps to have another person's input, right? Has that superior intellect remembered that it was me who came up with the plan that means you get to see your daughter?"
His angry tone of voice, and complete disregard for Loki's put-down seemed to draw the God up short. Rather than backing off, the human appeared to relish hammering his own point home just as hard.
Loki tilted his head to one side. "Tony Stark, did I ever tell you what attracted me to you?" He derailed the conversation entirely with the simple question and Tony merely looked at him blankly. "I was intrigued by your total disregard for the fact that I could disembowel you with a mere thought. Other mortals reacted to me with fear, anger, violence. But you, you calmly told me that you wished to threaten me then proceeded to have a very sarcastic conversation in which you insulted myself, yourself, and your colleagues."
"And questioned your sexual prowess. Which, might I add, you have now more than proved." Stark put in.
"Quite. But you intrigued me. And people that intrigue me usually end up attracting me. Even on Asgard there weren't many who would dare contradict or talk back to me." Loki smiled wryly. "My reputation for revenge was enough to ward them off. But I haven't been able to warn you away. Even when showing up with your child."
Tony grinned at the summery. "Dear me, is that the dreaded sentiment I'm hearing, Mr Laufeyjarsson?"
Loki appeared to consider the words he'd just spoken, before a curiously soft smile crossed his face. "I believe it is. Who would have thought? Shall we put it down to my having missed you, and still being awash with the hormones left behind by the pregnancy?"
"I…Um…Wow. Yeah. Yeah, pregnancy hormones are a good explanation. Let's stick with that before this goes too deeply into the emotional realms neither of us want to tread." Tony's expression brightened. "Hey! That was quite poetic for me! You must be rubbing off on me-"
The rest of whatever he wished to say was abruptly cut off as Loki's mouth was suddenly on his own, hands grabbing at the front of his shirt to drag him close. The desperation in the gesture took him by surprise, enough so that he allowed the trickster's weight to push him down onto his back.
"Uh…" He managed to break away enough to speak. "Is this such a good idea right now?"
Loki had moved on to pressing kisses along his lovers jaw, and barely raised his head to answer the question. "Why would it not be?"
Tony managed to wriggle a hand up between their bodies so that he could press it against the God's mouth, stopping the trail of kisses. "Because you appear to be emotionally compromised." He winced when he heard his own excuse. "And I'm being responsible. See? This is what father-hood has done to me!" He looked up to meet Loki's over-bright gaze and frowned slightly.
"Stark, has it ever occurred to you that I became emotionally compromised in this situation a long time ago?"
Oh.
Oh.
That was more of an admission than Tony had ever expected to hear. Had he even ever wanted to hear it either?
Part of him, a large part, was screaming a resounding no at the whole situation because having a child together was one thing, confessing to emotions beyond being able to tolerate each other was entirely another. But that was admittedly only a part of him – a much smaller and much darker corner of his mind was trying to desperately surface to admit to a similar emotional position.
However, Loki seemed to have already realised that his confession was most certainly not appreciated and shrugged it aside. "As it is, I will leave it at that. Emotionally compromised. If either of us say any more on the matter then I fear one of us shall utter words neither of us wish to either hear or say."
"Yeah…Good plan." Tony moved his hand away from Loki's mouth to gently cup the God's cheek. "If it's anything, I think I might be somewhat compromised too. And I shouldn't have said that."
"No. You shouldn't have." Loki rolled off of the inventor to lie beside him on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. "Life was easier when we were trying to kill each other." He muttered.
"Agreed. Only had to worry about certain death and the glazier bill."
The God glanced at him in annoyance. "You just won't let the incident with your window go, will you?"
"You threw me through it, the memory is somewhat seared into my mind as one of the most terrifying moments of my life."
"Huh." Loki moved his gaze back to the ceiling. After a few moments a small grin crossed his face. "You had a tremendous view on the way down, though."
"Yes. Yes I did. Although I admit I was focussing quite a lot on the ground at the time. It has a very nasty habit of rushing towards you at an extremely terminal velocity if you're falling."
The ceiling was inspected by both men for a few more moments before Tony let out a small snort of laughter. He heard a corresponding chuckle from Loki and began to snigger.
"Oh, I think I'm going insane." He stated airily, running a hand through his hair. That triggered an actual laugh from the trickster next to him.
"Going insane? I believe you passed that threshold a long time ago, Stark."
"You probably have a point." Tony rolled over, propping his head up on one hand, elbow on the bed-covers. "But that's apparently what being a dad does to a person."
"Apparently." Loki was watching him with a small smile still on his lips. Neither of them questioned it when Tony leant over and pressed a kiss to the trickster's mouth, Loki's hand coming up to cup the back of the man's head.
"What are the chances of you getting pregnant again?" The inventor whispered, barely breaking contact.
"Non-existent. Now that I know it could happen I keep a contraceptive enchantment going." Loki smirked and nipped at the man's lower lip. "No consequences this time."
"Just what I wanted to hear."
"Who says you will be the one in control here?"
Tony grinned smugly. "Oh don't even bother, we both know you prefer to bottom. Even a God can have his weaknesses." He raised an eye-brow at the trickster's affronted look. "Don't deny it, oh God of lies. I can see riiiight through you."
"I doubt that, Stark." Loki's breath caught in his throat as the mortal chuckled and moved himself over to sprawl across the God.
"We'll see." Tony leant down as if for another kiss, but instead took the trickster's lower lip between his teeth, biting hard enough to draw a spot of blood. He heard the quick intake of breath the action caused, the hitch in the chest beneath his own. Releasing the abused flesh he traced his tongue along Loki's jawline and up to the God's ear. "You're mine and you know it."
"Mmhm, that seems to be the case." For a moment the quiet agreement was surprising before Loki's mouth curved into a wicked grin. "But you are equally mine, Stark, and there is nothing you can do to change that." With Tony nosing at his ear he was in the perfect position to latch onto the man's throat, sinking his teeth in enough to mark, although he held back from drawing blood.
The mortal huffed with laughter, twisting back to steal a proper kiss. He felt warm hands sneaking up under the back of his shirt, nails running lightly over his skin. It was more difficult for him to return the gesture due to lying full length on top of the God, so instead he began working apart the buttons down the front of Loki's tunic. Thankfully the trickster hadn't worn his full ensemble and was dressed down in a simple tunic and trousers combo that would make removing them a lot simpler than having to wrestle with the buckles and clasps of traditional Aesir gear.
He pulled the first few buttons open and tackled the pale skin that was exposed, nipping and licking to leave red blotches along the smooth collar-bones. The scrape of teeth along skin had Loki chuckling softly, eyes closing as he allowed himself to relax back against the pillows.
"Told you I'd be in control."
"Hmm, just get on with it, Stark, I don't wish to fight you for dominance this time."
"Unusual." Tony finished with the buttons and let his lover's tunic fall open. "…oh."
A long scar curled up along Loki's abdomen, healing but still livid. The inflammation around the edges told of a recently banished infection – possibly explaining why he hadn't been able to use his magic to heal it entirely. It looked like it had been horribly painful.
"Chitauri?"
"A closer brush with them than I would have liked."
Tony nodded in understanding but decided he wouldn't press the point. And it certainly explained why Loki was allowing him to dominate the encounter without a fight – healing or not the wound was probably still too tender to stand up to a wrestling match.
The trickster's breath hitched in his throat as Tony gently kissed along the scar, tongue teasing the reddened skin. Again, the level of trust being shown was astounding. To allow someone else so close to an unhealed wound was a privilege Loki had stopped permitting, even when he had still lived in Asgard. And now this man, this ant beneath his boot, was so close, so dangerously close and he didn't feel in the least bit threatened.
A small gasp was pulled from the God's lips as teeth found and bit into his left nipple, a tongue immediately following to soothe the hurt. After months of being on the run the safety of his current situation heightened the sharp spike of pleasure that shot through him at the touch. He was always the vocal one, and had no problem letting Tony know that he thoroughly approved of what the man was doing.
Eager hands pulled the trickster's tunic away entirely and he arched up to let Tony remove the fabric before tugging the inventors own shirt up over the man's head to throw it God-knows-where. Loki dug his fingers into the man's back, kneading the firm muscles as Tony went back to licking and nipping his way along the curling scar.
It should not have felt as good as it did.
Conceding complete control to the human, Loki allowed his hips to be lifted up enough for the man to slide his trousers and under-garments down his legs. He suppressed a chuckle as he realised Tony hadn't thought the move through – he was still wearing his boots – so rid himself of the footwear with a flick of his wrist meaning that the human could finish divesting him of his clothes.
There was another wound on the God's left thigh, from the same close encounter with the chitauri, but healing better than the scar on his chest. It wrapped almost fully around his leg and a spark of understanding lit inside Tony as he realised what weapon had caused the strange marks: having fought Vanko he recognised the unusual signature of a whip. Of course, the chitauri probably used a power source he'd never heard of, but it still left behind something almost indistinguishable from the arc-reactor powered monstrosity Vanko had used.
"I don't remember seeing them using whips when they attacked us." He murmured against the scar, feeling the tremor that ran through the trickster's leg from the light breath of air.
"They didn't. You fought an army intent to kill. The groups after me want me alive."
"Hmm." Tony nipped his way back up his partner's thigh and along the groove of his pelvis, ending up with a kiss to the trickster's hip-bone. "To be honest, I rather like having you alive."
Loki gasped as the man went in for the kill and his eyes closed at the searing heat suddenly surrounding his growing erection. "To be honest, there are times when it has its perks." The words came out slightly strangled and Tony's responding chuckle sent another jolt of pleasure through him. "Tony…"
It was the first time the man had heard his first name coming from those lips during such intimacy and he decided he very much approved. In a bid to hear it again he took a deep breath, hollowed his cheeks and went down. Hell yeah he could control his gag reflex!
The action was well rewarded as Loki arched with a deep groan, a hand coming down to pull at the man's short hair. Tony smirked inwardly and repeated the action, taking as much as he could and using his hand for the rest until his partner bucked up into him urgently. Most people would choke when that happens. Tony isn't most people.
Instead he allowed the movement, relaxing so that Loki could do it again should he wish and kept on going, tongue working along the firm flesh. There was a hard tug on his hair, letting him know that his efforts were very much appreciated and he felt Loki's knee brush the side of his head as the trickster flexed his leg and drew it up, a subconscious gesture that he probably hadn't realised he'd made, but which was all too clearly begging Tony for more.
More that the mortal was more than prepared to give.
Fumbling somewhat, he reached out blindly with one hand to the bedside cabinet and flailed around until his fingers closed around the tube that he was looking for. Experience with this sort of thing meant that he was very capable of popping the cap open one-handed and squeezing a liberal amount of the contents across his fingers.
Continuing to use his mouth, he teasingly circled a single finger around the God's entrance, almost tickling the sensitive skin.
Loki's gasp, followed by a deep groan made Tony realise just how tight his jeans were around his own pulsing erection. He carefully inched his finger in, relishing at the warmth and what it promised for him. Another flick of his tongue coincided with his finger sliding in up to the hilt and Loki let out a sound that Tony only refrained from calling a whimper because Loki most certainly didn't whimper like that.
"Feels…different…" The trickster whispered.
The words almost froze Tony for a second, before his brain registered that different didn't necessarily mean painful and that Loki most certainly didn't sound in pain. The man lifted his head up, although kept his finger gently moving inside his partner's warm body.
"Do you want me to stop?"
"Valhalla! No! I said different, not bad." Loki's voice was a breathless moan. "Feels good."
Tony frowned slightly. "I'm not doing anything different…"
Oh.
Yes he was.
The realisation struck at the same time that the God elucidated the subject.
"We've never been gentle before…" He whispered. "We've only ever treated this as another form of warfare and taken what we needed from each other." He arched as Tony's questing finger twisted inside him. "Feels good to be gentle, didn't know it felt so good…"
The inventor raised an eyebrow at that – it revealed slightly too much of Loki's previous sex-life for him to be comfortable with. He'd also assumed that since the God had been so receptive and eager for the near-violent sex they'd previously had that Loki preferred things rough.
Obviously even Loki didn't know everything about his preferences.
Okay then. Gentle. Tony could do gentle. Especially with the utterly gorgeous man spread out under him.
He leant back down to lap at the head of the trickster's erection, slipping a second finger in at the same time. It was certainly easier using proper lubrication as opposed to saliva as they always had in the past. Sometimes they hadn't even bothered with that much. Loki definitely seemed to approve of the addition when he moaned loudly, his hips shifting against Tony's hand. The man curled the two fingers together and searched until-
"Ah!" Loki's cry surprised both of them – whilst he was usually vocal it was mostly towards the end of their coupling. To be making such sounds in the early stages was unusual for him; Tony was obviously doing something very right.
"Enough...Stark…" The God's fingers untangled from Tony's hair to wrench the man's head up. "I want…you…" He used his hold on Tony's chin to pull the inventor up into a deep and messy kiss, seemingly uncaring of his own taste on Tony's tongue. The man mumbled against Loki's lips, something about 'position' and 'can't reach' but the trickster solved the problem by putting his flexibility to good use. Lifting his hips he drew his legs up to his chest so that his knees draped over his partner's shoulders, effectively folding himself in half.
"Take me!" And there was the fire and demand that had characterised all of their encounters so far.
Who was Tony Stark to deny a God?
He lent back for long enough to divest himself of his jeans, before reclaiming Loki's lips. Reaching down he gave his own throbbing erection a couple of firm strokes before guiding himself to his partner's entrance.
Loki groaned, low and deep in the back of his throat as the man slowly pushed in, clawing at Tony's back with his nails. He wasn't entirely prepared enough for the full stretch so the pleasure was accompanied by a slight burn that he revelled in.
"Uhhhh…" The sound drawn from the trickster's mouth was so sinful it should have been illegal. His head fell back against the pillow, mouth open and panting hard.
Tony waited until he was fully seated inside the tight heat, then lent forwards to nip at his partner's ear. "You okay?" His voice was shaking as he forced himself to hold still.
"More than. Move!"
Tony wasn't one to leave his partner's disappointed.
He pulled out almost fully before driving back, the familiar heat and tightness welcoming him in as Loki bucked up to meet the thrust. The angle meant that Tony was able to penetrate deeply and it was evident that the trickster thoroughly approved of this fact as he let out appreciative moan.
"Faster…" He removed one hand from Tony's back to pull the man into a demanding and messy kiss.
Instead of complying the man paused, earning himself a frustrated growl and an impatient scratch along his shoulders. Tony grinned at the noise before grabbing both of the God's wrists and pinning them to the bed on either side of Loki's head.
"Hey-"
The trickster's protest was cut off by another hard thrust and he decided that complaining wasn't really all that important in the current circumstances. Tony felt the soft huff of laughter from his partner and took it as permission to keep going.
Laughter quickly turned to gasps and moans as the man set a fast rhythm, nipping and licking at Loki's neck, jawline and ears. The licentious sounds of their coupling filled the bedroom; skin on skin, gasping cries of pleasure, harsh grunts and a constant litany of pleas falling from Loki's silver tongue.
"Stark…More…Please…so close…"
The fractured sentences didn't make sense, but the urgency in them spurred Tony on as he drove into the willing body hard and fast. He could feel the heat coiling in the pit of his stomach, warning him that he wouldn't last much longer.
It was just as he made this observation that Loki suddenly arched up into him with a wild cry, chanting Tony's name breathlessly as his orgasm ripped through him. It entirely took the mortal by surprise and any control he was holding onto was shattered by the rippling waves that surrounded his erection. He released Loki's wrists and collapsed to his forearms, hips taking on a life of their own until he was hurtling into his own release, biting into the tricksters shoulder to muffle his deep groan.
Loki clung to the man with all four limbs, relishing in the after-shocks of his own high as Tony shuddered and shook above him. It had certainly been far too long since they'd been together.
After a few moments the inventor stopped holding his weight up and collapsed onto his lover's chest, burrowing his head into the crook of Loki's neck. In response the trickster managed to untangle his legs from around the man's shoulders and let them flop down to the mattress.
"Tony…" His breathless whisper was only just heard over Stark's heavy breathing.
"Mmm. Nice hearing you say m'name like that…" Tony murmured. "Should out-law your after-sex voice…Too sexy." After a few moments he found the energy to raise his head a little. "You were right. Gentle's nice."
Loki let out a soft laugh in agreement. "Very nice." He slung an arm lazily over the mortal's back as Tony's head dropped back down to use his chest as a cushion.
For the longest moment all was peaceful as pulses wound down and breathing slowed to a more regular pace. Ironman had closed his eyes, his mind wandering close to the land of dreams whilst Loki absentmindedly ran fingers through his short hair.
Then the baby monitor lit up.
Tony cracked an eye open to glare at it as the sound of Evie crying filled the room.
"I guess we should be grateful that she saved it for after we finished." He muttered.
"If you remove yourself from pinning me down I'll see what's wrong."
The man sighed theatrically, but rolled to one side so that Loki was able to sit up. As the God tried to hunt down his discarded clothing, Tony glanced at the alarm clock on the bed-side table.
12:34
"Hey." He reached out and snagged Loki's arm as the trickster moved past him and pulled the tall man down into another kiss, albeit a quick one. He pulled away to be met with a confused look and grinned lazily. "Merry Christmas."
Loki blinked at him, then smiled back warmly. "Merry Christmas, Tony."
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Again, I can't thank you all enough for all the faves, follows and marvellous reviews – it really makes my day!
Any questions anyone has I'll be happy to answer – I don't have a beta-reader so if you think I've missed something or it doesn't make sense please feel free to say so! In some cases it may just be that I haven't got round to extrapolating on the subject yet. For example: There's quite a bit about what's happening between Loki and the Chitauri but it won't be mentioned until the next chapter. Ditto with loki's physiology and exactly how he can have kids. (Yeah, I've put a lot of thought into his anatomy – I have too much time on my hands).
So until next time; love hugs and cookies to you all.