Oh Gods guys, I am SO sorry!
Life stuff has happened, and...I can't even excuse it. I am SO sorry it has taken this long! It got to the point I was feeling so guilty that I hadn't updated that I couldn't bring myself to write.
HOWEVER: this chapter is done, the moxi is back and this story is back up and running! Hell yeah!
In addition; warnings for this chapter:
Discussion surrounding childloss and miscarriage. Nothing graphic, but I don't want to trigger anyone.
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Now, when Scott had been told that The Avengers needed his help, and that the fate of at least Berlin, possibly the world rested on his shoulders, he had been expecting something pretty amazing. Gun battles, epic races across famous German landmarks (just so that you were really sure of the location) and maybe even a quick moment to put in some silly little quip to show how awesome you were vs how stupid the bad guy was. Maybe Scott had seen one too many super hero movies, but that was usually how these things seemed to go down. Well, unless it was Batman. Batman didn't seem to have handy quips to hand these days.
Anyway. Whatever he had had in mind when invited to help save Germany, crawling through a sewer wasn't it.
"There should be a hatchway along the wall on the left hand side."
It also didn't help that he was being given instructions in what he had to deem the poshest, most pretentious accent he'd ever had to deal with.
"Yeah, yeah I think I see it. It's like, a foot wide? I can't fit through that!"
"So? You're Antman, aren't you?" Poshest, most pretentious, smuggest accent ever.
Scott couldn't fault the logic though.
Shrinking down in a sewer really wasn't the best experience he'd ever had. The mask did a great deal to minimise the smell, but still wasn't half as good as he would wish.
"Are you through?"
"Give me a moment!"
"Once through you'll be in the base, so whatever you do, keep undercover!"
"Yeah, yeah, you've said that already. I still think there should be surveillance or something in here you know."
In fact, he'd said it quite a lot since entering said smelly sewer. If this pipeline ran alongside some super-secret Hydra Base then surely there should be sensors and trip wires and…other super-secret spy stuff. Scott was still new to the whole Avengers thing after all; he didn't know what the technical terms were. Either way it didn't make sense that there was nothing protecting an obvious weak spot.
"Yes, you've said."
"Well, I'm saying it again!"
Loki couldn't say he was entirely happy in his role back in Stark Tower. Regardless of how good he now was with human technology he had to admit he was far happier either in the field or at least using his magic to monitor things. Instead, though, he was having to watch the little red dot signifying Scott crawling through a pipe whilst listening to the man himself bitching about it through a state-of-the-art headset. It felt like he'd had half his senses cut off.
He muted the microphone momentarily and turned to Bruce with a scowl. "This 'Antman' whines worse than Tony!"
"So do you, but you don't hear us complaining."
"…You are so lucky I can't use my magic right now."
"Liked sitting in a Loki-shaped crater, did you?"
Jarvis affected a cough. "Could we possibly get back to the topic at hand? I believe Mr Lang has entered the area in question.
Sure enough, when Loki and Bruce turned back to look at the map of Berlin's underground, the little dot representing Scott had appeared in the large void that they had pinpointed as a possible base.
"Uh…guys?" Antman's voice came through the com as tinny – he was still small by the sounds of it. "I don't think this is the right one."
"What makes you say that?" The rest of the group – strategically placed around the city – were also on the coms and Steve sounded dubious at the extremely quick assumption. "You've barely looked in there."
"Don't need to – this place is flooded. Like, totally flooded."
There was barely a moment's delay for the readouts from Scott's suit to relay his surroundings back to the tower and to verify what he had said. Whilst the man himself likely couldn't see much, the tech he already had and that Tony had added to extensively was able to scan the area quite thoroughly. The huge underground area was filled entirely with water. Given that it had been big enough for them to suspect that a Helicarrier could be being built there, that was a lot of water.
"What the hell?" Bruce frowned at the readings. "That's not good."
"Reservoir?"
"Hardly likely with a sewage pipe running alongside. Scott, can you run a scan of the cavern?"
"Uh…how do I..?"
There was an irritated sigh on one of the other coms. Tony had a wonderful way of making it sound like whoever he was speaking to was a complete and utter imbecile and did so impeccably as he talked Lang through using the scanning function he had added to the suit.
"What am I even looking for?"
"You aren't, just scan, and we'll look at the data."
Scott didn't argue with that. The sketchy picture Loki and Bruce had up on their screens quickly resolved itself as the new data appeared and created a better 3D map of the underground area Scott had found himself in. It also highlighted the large crack in the ceiling of cavern.
"Well…there's your water source."
"The River Spree." Jarvis said primly. "I detect a significant number of lifeforms, however, I believe they are all of an aqueous nature."
"You could just say this place is full of fish." Scott sounded put out.
"Alright; the place is full of fish."
"Anyway this heli-thing could be built underwater?"
Tony got there before anyone else could, scoffing at the idea. However, obnoxious or not he was right. Just because the Helicarrier could function on water, didn't meant that building it submerged was a thing that could happen.
Jarvis scratched a large electronic X through the 3D rendering and minimised it so that a full map of Berlin was on the screens again.
That removed three of the potential bases from their list. The first had been repurposed as a storage facility by a pharmaceutical company who had purposefully not left a paper trail for tax benefits. The second had partially caved in in places and was certainly no use for building delicate machinery in.
And now the third was a dead-end too. A soggy, water-logged deadend.
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Scott found Natasha at a café near where he had entered the sewer. The rest of the Avengers were scattered across the city at strategic points over the various bunkers. Tony had been happily ensconced in a library, Clint was people-watching in a park, and now he found Natasha sipping a mocha with a guide book in hand.
"Any good tourist attractions?"
"The Cathedral is meant to be quite good." The assassin's nose wrinkled. "You smell like a sewer."
"Yeah, funny that. Did you at least order me a drink?"
She pushed a tiny mug of espresso over to him. "To keep your energy levels up."
"Does this mean I'm not getting a break before the next hole in the ground?"
"This is your break."
Scott sighed heavily. "I was afraid of that."
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The next hole in the ground happened to be on the other side of the city, so Scott at least got to experience the public transport and take in some views.
Sam and Bucky were killing time at a small food market – one can't go to Germany without having a bratwurst after all – when Lang turned up. Despite allowing the Winter Soldier to go along as part of the group he was still an unknown and they had all deemed it better to pair him up with someone. That someone had ended up being Sam since Steve was just that bit too recognisable to be safe.
They were bickering when Scott turned up.
"Uh guys? Where am I meant to go?"
Bucky turned a disinterested stare onto the man. "You haven't been told?"
"Well…no."
Sam gestured with his bratwurst. "Jarvis has said there's something labelled as a tube service tunnel here, but it doesn't actually connect to the underground train system. It's that doorway there."
Said doorway was one of those ones that is found on most public highstreets; small, metal, no handle and entirely innocuous. There's usually at least two per street and no one ever notices them.
If there was one thing Scott knew, it was how to break into somewhere without leaving a mark. And it wasn't like he needed the gizmos Tony had grudgingly lent him either.
"Should we really be sponsoring a criminal like this?" Sam hissed as they watched Lang disappear through the open door. Bucky glanced at him with an amused smirk.
"You're asking me that?"
"….good point"
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"He's in." Loki announced, chin in one hand as he watched the red dot on screen.
"You could sound slightly more interested."
"No, I really couldn't."
Bruce glanced at his companion. "You're a joy to be around, I hope you know that." He said drily.
"My sparkling wit is what keeps this band of misfits together."
"No, your propensity to attack entire planets is what keeps us together."
"Oi!" Scott's voice came through again, sounding annoyed. "Can the family bonding happen at some other time?"
"Why? Have you found something useful?"
"Not yet, but I'm sick of the soap opera." A symbol flashed on the screen, indicating Scott activating the tech in his suit and – presumably – shrinking. "Right, I've reached a dead-end and there's an access hatch. My schematics say that the area we're looking for is down a tunnel behind there."
"Yes, we know. We've got the same map as you."
"Uh, yeah, of course."
The little red dot moved slowly but steadily down the aforementioned tunnel, hardly exciting to two people sat watching it on a screen, and even worse for those who could only listen in on coms. Loki's acerbic comment about the map had made Scott stop narrating his every step and that left the in-field Avengers without a frame of reference.
"Hey, Lang, where are you at?" Tony, ever the impatient.
"Just at the grill between this tunnel and the target area. Still no sign of anyone down here but there's wiring in the walls so someone's been down here at some point."
"How old does the wiring look?" Bruce asked quickly.
He didn't get a verbal response, but instead a dark macro photograph of some wires appeared up on the screen. It looked like it had been taken through a microscope. Bruce wouldn't have had a clue, but didn't need to when Jarvis helpfully identified it all as less than two years old. Current – someone had been using those tunnels recently.
"But there's nothing else? Just the wiring?" Steve sounded understandably concerned. "What about surveillance?"
"Just the wiring. No cameras, no obvious traps, nothing."
"Doesn't sound promising." Bruce was already searching to see if there was anything else he could find that would explain why the tunnel would be wired. "Loki, can you cross-reference to the old military archives?" When there wasn't an immediate response he threw a pen in the prince's general direction. "Hey, this is kinda important!"
"Yeah…just a second."
Bruce glanced over to see Loki going positively green.
"Oh…uh, you okay?"
The trickster waved a hand at him, the other hovering over his mouth ready to clamp if necessary. "I will be…just waiting it out…"
The doctor nodded. "Uh…I'll do the cross check, you go and wait it out in the bathroom. You look like crap." He expected a firm refusal, and was surprised when Loki simply nodded and swiftly left the room. "Jarvis? Can you…?"
"I'll check on him, Doctor"
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Jarvis found Loki slumped by the toilet bowl in the master bathroom, looking thoroughly miserable.
"Are you in any pain at all sir, or just discomfort?"
"…Just discomfort, Jarvis."
"Have you eaten today?"
The trickster shook his head tiredly, not even bothering to look up.
"Drunk anything?" Jarvis prompted.
"Water. And as of five minutes ago it hasn't stayed down."
"So are we assuming Doctor Banner's hopeful hypothesis of psychosomatic sickness was incorrect? Maybe hyperemesis would be more accurate?" The droid waited for a few moments to see if he was going to get a response. There wasn't one forthcoming and intricate gears whirred as his optic sensors focussed in tighter on the dejected prince.
It was quite likely it was the lack of food and decent sleep that was doing it, but Loki looked exhausted. Hugging a toilet bowl wasn't exactly a position the trickster had ever thought he'd find himself in but it had become a major feature in his life over past the nine weeks. At least he wasn't having to hide it so much now – it had been getting to the point that he couldn't anyway, Tony had been getting so suspicious.
He hadn't been exaggerating to Jarvis either – all he'd tried to keep down was a glass of water and that hadn't worked. He was reduced to dry heaving and his stomach still wasn't settling. Another wave of nausea had him coughing and retching into the bowl again. However, this time Jarvis leant over to catch his hair and gently wrap it up out of the way.
"I don't believe water is going to do much good. May I suggest an isotonic drink of some sort? Or would there be something you know of from Asgard better suited to your physiology?"
"I don't know; I've never had this reaction before…" Loki coughed and tried to sit up straight again. "I have no idea what Asgard uses."
"Maybe you should start trying to find out."
"Who, exactly, do you think I should ask? And before you say anything; Thor has even less of a clue than me. He still thinks storks leave newborn's at the door."
"You are distinctly unkind about your brother at times."
Loki laughed, rising to his feet with the aid of the basin. "And that comment shows that as human as you may seem, you still have no concept of siblings."
Jarvis followed the God back into the bedroom. "I dread the thought. One of me is quite enough – two would result in the Terminator storyline I am sure. And now you're inflicting siblings on Miss Evelyn. Two siblings."
"Yes…that's going to be a fun conversation."
"Well, it should certainly –" The droid stopped mid-sentence, turning towards the doorway. "Something has happened."
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With the wires looking like they weren't connected to anything, Lang had decided to take a chance and find a way through the wall to the unknown space beyond. He had tried to explain to the Avengers that when tiny he was able to pack a punch that condensed all his usual power into a single tiny spot. Tony and Bruce had understood the physics, but it had mostly gone over the others heads.
Therefore when he announced he was going to punch a hole through the wall it was met with scepticism.
Picking a spot away from the suspect wiring he began to attack the dry mortar between the bricks. Dust sprayed in every direction as he tunnelled his way through the cement, creating a hole that was only a few millimetres across.
"How's it going, tunnel-vision?"
Scott caught on quick, and was already getting used to the idea that Stark was going to call him every name under the sun except his own.
"Oh, you know, nothing like a few feet of concrete to get my teeth into." He gritted his teeth when Jarvis helpfully chipped in that the readouts were measuring at least two meters to burrow through. "And you can keep that kind of shit to yourself."
For all his grousing, it didn't take long for him to make his way through the solid wall. The cement was old and dry and the only difficulties were the lumps of rock that had been mixed in, and they were quickly dealt with.
"You're only a few millimetres from the other side – you might want to slow down." The readings in front of him had said as much, but he listened Jarvis's warning too. It wouldn't do to pop out the other side of the wall and wreck all this stealth.
Breaking a couple of pieces away from the remaining thin shell of cement in front of him, chinks of light shone through.
"Well, there's someone down here, at least."
"What can you see?"
"Not much." He put his eye against one of the holes he'd made and the suit began relaying the images back. "There's…some crates. I've got a beautiful view of some crates. Big, wooden crates. And an upside down sticker saying 'this way up'."
"Yes, we can see that. Can you get out and see what's beyond?"
Yes and yes would be the answer. Even had there been someone there the chances of them looking down and spotting something as small as an insect racing across the floor were slim. And there wasn't anyone there to see. Scott scrambled up the crates – Everest given his size – and quickly scuttled behind one of the ropes bound around the wooden box.
"Er….Are you guys getting this?"
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"Well that's a bugger."
Bruce glared at his companion but had to admit that Loki had summed the situation up nicely.
Scott had found the helicarrier, but unfortunately had also found a considerable number of Hydra agents at the same time. The ship looked close to completion at first glance – although the scaffolding around it made it clear that there was still work to do. None of the workers were in uniform, little point when they were the only people there, instead wearing the more usual hi-vis jackets and safety gear seen on most construction sites. This made it a little difficult to tell who were Hydra and who were hired help.
"It looks nearly ready."
"Gun turrets aren't properly mounted yet and the engines aren't fixed in place." Tony chipped in quickly.
"And how the hell can you tell that from a video?"
"Uh, hello? Weapons designer? And thanks to a certain someone letting the Hulk lose on one of those things I spent an uncomfortable amount of time inside one of those engines."
Loki and Bruce avoided each other's gaze as the Prince scanned over the schematics Scott's suit was bringing up. "Read-outs are agreeing with Stark."
"Told you so."
"A window is going to be in your near future, Tony."
"Love you too, sweet cheeks."
Loki grimaced. "And besides Stark's now imminent demise, we have the issue of what is to be done now? I don't suppose Mr Lang will be able to kill everyone there?"
"I'm not killing anyone! Some of these people might be civilians!"
"…And?"
The resounding indignant chorus of 'LOKI!' let him know that this was not appropriate.
"It was merely a question. I fail to see why extreme measures should not be taken in extreme circumstances."
"Scott's not going to be killing anyone!" Steve got in there before it could go any further, much to Scott's evident relief. "We'll think of something; but we don't want to risk killing civilians."
"I was under the impression that we don't want to blow a hole in Berlin. Going with utilitarian principles I'd argue the greater good means we might need to sacrifice a couple of civilians if it means saving the city."
"That's not how we do things, Loki."
The trickster rolled his eyes. "For Norns sake, it's hardly a novel idea! You are a soldier, Captain Rogers; this is not an uncommon theme in war."
Thor cleared his throat over the coms system. "As much as I hate to admit it, Loki may have a point. We are aiming to avoid a fire fight, and we can't allow that carrier to be completed."
"Going purely by numbers; if the carrier is completed, thousands could die. If there's an all-out fight and it blows we lose half of Berlin and hundreds of thousands die. And we don't even know if those goons are civilians or not." Bucky added his two cents which seemed to prompt everyone else to share their opinions and for a long moment there was nothing but a stream of solid noise.
Jarvis put an end to it with a shrill electric whistle sent through the channels.
"Enough. There are options for neutralising this situation without killing everyone. I have already calculated several peaceful ways to resolve this." It had been noted by the various Avengers that Jarvis had been subtly changing since gaining a body, but this was the first time he had taken charge of a situation; usually he waited quietly whilst they all argued it out.
"So…What am I doing then, guys?" Scott asked tentatively.
"Well apparently you have all the answers Jarvis? What's your non-violent option?" Bruce glanced sceptically at the droid. "Because we need that helicarrier gone, and we need them to be unable to build a new one any time soon."
"Well on the assumption that the materials for construction are quite rare and extortionately expensive we can safely assume they won't have much by way of spares or extras. Should we remove this helicarrier, they won't have much by way of provision to build a new one any time soon." Jarvis said primly.
"Right, great, and how do we simply remove this helicarrier?"
"What's the largest thing you can shrink, Mr Lang?"
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Night had fallen by the time everyone had returned to where they'd stashed the quinjet out of sight and given that most of the Avengers had spent the day doing little more than sightseeing they weren't in the best of moods.
Scott had surrendered up the toy-sized helicarrier to Steve, and it was currently sat on the dashboard like a collectable. Some bits of scaffolding were still attached.
"I still don't understand how the people inside weren't shrunk too…" Sam hissed to Natasha.
"Neither do I and I don't think we want to question it too closely. Let's just assume everyone is fine and leave it at that."
At the back of the jet, as far away from the others as the tight space would allow, Steve and Tony were huddled against the cargo doors.
"Not that this isn't wonderfully cosy or anything, but there are perfectly good seats, and I'm married. What's so important it needs discussing right now and right in the most uncomfortable spot you could find?!"
"I just wanted to go over a few details of the mission." Steve's voice was fairly cheerful, but he held a finger to his lips as he spoke and when Tony frowned in confusion held up a single tiny scrap of paper.
Can Jarvis hear this conversation?
Stark's frown intensified then he nodded abruptly and glanced up at the ceiling. "Fine, if we must. Jarvis, can you process all of the data Scott sent you before we get back?"
"That only allows me three hours, sir." Jarvis' voice came through the jet's speakers, still managing to sound mildly peeved. "If you want it that quick then I will need to keep all my processing power in the tower."
"Well, we're only three hours away and Clint's a competent pilot, we can survive without you."
"Very good, sir, I will have it ready for when you land."
Tony glanced back towards the consul and held up a hand to Steve until he saw the light denoting the connection to the tower flicker out. When it did he scowled.
"Okay, he's gone. Why the secrecy? Are we about to repeat a conversation we already had a few months ago? Jarvis is safe. I trust him."
"He just took over the mission, Tony!" Steve hissed.
"He hardly took over! He saw all of us arguing and gave us a solution. He didn't force anyone to do anything, was just a little more assertive with his ideas."
"Yes, exactly! This time he was more assertive, last time he let Bucky go without asking anyone, what next?!"
"I don't know! I've never had a computer program go this level of sentient on me!" Tony snapped back. "At the moment all I can say is that he's still finding his feet. He's beginning to see that he has a different place in the world now, as an autonomous person, and is trying to see how he fits in with the rest of us."
"But he's got more power than any of us! He's dangerous."
"So are you! So am I. Thor, Bucky, Sam, Natasha, all of us are dangerous. We're one big power play and have to rely on trust for it to work. Hell, Loki, the guy who tried to kill us all, is currently sitting in the tower sorting out our flight path. We have to trust each other to survive as the Avengers."
"But Jarvis isn't human! He doesn't have the same brain as us – he doesn't work like us! He can't rationalise in the same way we can!"
"Neither can Thor or Loki, but they manage. Jarvis was built to learn; he's been studying us for years, he's nearly human in his thinking, and will only get closer." Tony shrugged. "I don't know what I can say here Cap. I trust Jarvis. I mean – he saved Evie that time Hydra attacked. He threw himself straight into the firing line. He's currently keeping an eye on both her and Loki now that Loki's not well – and I trust him to protect them. I trust him." He jabbed a thumb back towards the others. "And he in turn trusted Bucky, and that's proved to be the right call, hasn't it? You can't turn against him – he's the only reason we aren't keeping Buckyball in a cell!"
Steve's resigned nod had a touch of frustration to it. "I Know. But I can still be concerned. Just…keep an eye on him? I know how much he means to you, and maybe I'm just an old technophobe, but Jarvis is worrying me at the moment."
Maybe once upon a time Tony would have turned it all into a joke, or taken Steve's concern as an insult to his engineering, but times had changed, and he was able to take his friend's worries at face value.
"Yeah. I honestly don't think there's anything to worry about, but I'll keep a closer eye on him if it makes you feel better."
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As it was, Jarvis was waiting for them with lunch on the table (which really confused those who couldn't keep up with the time zones) and a huge pile of data that he had waded through in double quick time. Tony felt slightly guilty about that, since it hadn't been strictly necessary.
The helicarrier was given pride of place in the centre of the table, where it was dwarfed by the salad bowls. Scott had awkwardly accepted the general praise and thanks that had been doled out towards him and was sat at the far end of the table, unsure at first how to join in with the boisterous conversation. However, that didn't last very long since Thor couldn't let anyone successfully complete a mission and not celebrate in style.
"That worked out better than we thought it would." Steve said quietly to Tony.
"Are you counting the argument that happened as part of that statement?"
"You know what I mean! Sam made a good call; Lang is going to be a real asset if we can persuade him to stick around."
"I'm beginning to think this tower needs to be set up as a charitable foundation for everyone with suits, powers or skills. Seriously; I thought we had hit peak weird when Buckyball joined us. Not that I'm convinced about him yet."
Steve rolled his eyes. "After what we just said about Jarvis? Tony, you are married to the homicidal maniac who tried to kill us all and enslave the world. Bucky is hardly an issue compared with Loki. And since Loki has proved himself, I think it's only fair everyone else with a shady history gets a bit of leeway."
"Yes, but-"
"Tony. Fairs fair; if you get your world-enslaving God, I get my childhood best friend!"
Tony glanced down the table to where Bucky was talking quietly with Sam. "Fine. But we've got to start an interview process or something for new starters! Lawful good are beginning to be outnumbered by chaotic neutral here!"
"I…what?"
"Nothing. Let's just start being a bit more careful about letting new people into the team. Or at the very least the tower."
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With the group somewhat split again as people went off to do their own things in the period of relative down-time it meant there were some quiet moments where Bruce could drag Loki and Tony off far a talk without it being too suspicious.
Said talks usually occurred in Bruce's lab since it was the tidiest and he was the one with most of the medical equipment. With Loki's morning sickness still causing issues it was generally the focal point of the discussions as they tried to find something that would either help the symptoms or the after effects. Nothing so far, but since it was slowly beginning to improve on its own Loki was less inclined to start messing around with what Tony had termed 'hippy-dippy crap'.
As it was this time the usual books and printouts had been removed and instead there was just a pen and blank notepad on Bruce's desk.
"That looks promising." Loki stated dryly.
"Well, I figured since things are progressing well it's worth noting down some medical history."
"I'm half a million years old; that's an awful lot of medical history, Doctor. How long do you have?"
Bruce smiled slightly. "Yes, noted." He grabbed the notebook and gestured towards the more comfortable chairs by the window. "We can whittle it down to just your medical history surrounding pregnancy and childbirth. Sound reasonable?"
"We may still be here a while."
"I'll order in some pizza then!" Tony was already waving a hand up at the ceiling, indicating to Jarvis to phone their local with the usual orders. "Think you can manage pizza, Capricorn? I can order a salad instead."
"I doubt it, but I am certain if I don't manage it someone else will finish it off for me." Loki had picked the seat nearest the window and already had the sceptical look he wore when he didn't think he was going to enjoy the discussion about to take place. "Doctor, what do you mean by medical history?"
"What is your history of pregnancy and child birth, essentially. A quick recap of each pregnancy and anything remarkable that happened during that time and the birth."
"Remarkable? I am male and have given birth to a horse, I fail to see how it can get more remarkable."
Tony swatted his husband on the arm. "You know exactly what he means, stop being difficult."
"I am not being difficult, I merely-"
"You're being difficult, now stop being an asshole and listen to Bruce."
Not that Banner couldn't have handled the situation, but he appreciated Tony stepping in. "Right, so Jarvis told me he has Evie's birth on file, but I'll need your consent to access it. By all accounts though it sounds like it was textbook."
"It was certainly one of the smoother of my experiences."
"Will you allow me to access the file?"
Loki grimaced and glared up at the security camera. "I cannot believe you filmed that, Jarvis!"
"I film everything unless asked not to, sir. It's a default security precaution. As you have heard, though; currently only you and Mr Stark have access to that certain file."
"Well…I suppose it will be useful to Doctor Banner so he can have access too; but I would appreciate it if you warn me what you're filming next time."
"Certainly sir. I am currently recording this conversation sir."
"You know what I mean, Jarvis."
"Then tell you what, sir, co-operate with Doctor Banner and I will stop annoying you."
It was a fair enough trade and Loki grudgingly nodded. Bruce settled back in his own chair with the grin of one who's won the battle without having to lift a finger.
"So; where would you like to start?" He asked cheerfully.
The trickster glanced out the window again, looking over the skyline of New York. "Well, I suppose the beginning would be best. Which would be Sleipnir." He caught Tony's eye as the man pulled a face. "Not the best of starts to childbirth, although you already know a bit of that story."
"Self-caesarean, wasn't it?" Bruce was already scribbling on his notepad.
"Yes, although that was most likely due to the fact that he was an eight legged horse and I was only a teenager at the time. Biology plays a large part in these things."
"Of course. How was the pregnancy?"
"Surprisingly easy given the aforementioned circumstances. Little illness, very few negative symptoms. Hence I was able to hide it up until the actual birth. I had a few food cravings at the very beginning, and he kicked as only a foal with eight legs could, but it wasn't all that bad really."
"I can imagine such a difficult birth made you anxious about the next one though?" Bruce asked.
"Very much so. I had fathered three by then – also uncomplicated and the birth was apparently easy – but I was extremely anxious with my second." Loki smiled slightly. "However, it turned out I didn't have need to be. I wish I could have known that Merlin would have been so easy because I could have enjoyed the pregnancy more rather than spending the whole time dreading the birth."
"So Merlin was an easy birth?"
"A fairly short labour, the pain was bearable, no complications afterwards – I would say it was easy."
"Did you have any assistance?"
The look Loki gave Bruce spoke volumes. "It was Roman Britain and I was a male giving birth, what do you think, Doctor Banner?"
"Fair enough." Bruce ignored Tony, who had burst out laughing. "So; Merlin was a pretty simple and straightforward pregnancy. I'm afraid I'm not quite certain who you had next."
"Well…I fathered two more. My wife had twins, which did involve complications with the birth, but that was due to her own biology rather than the babies."
Banner added something to the top of his worksheet. "So multiples are actually pretty common for you?"
"All of the children I've fathered were multiples. But I've never carried more than one at a time myself."
"Noted. So, your wife had twins, and then we have a big gap in your history and along comes Evie."
"Evelyn was a delightful pregnancy. I was much more confident, so was able to enjoy it more. Little to no illness, she didn't keep me awake kicking and I seemed to miss all the negative hormones so just felt buoyant and happy all the time –despite the danger from the chitauri."
The name of the alien species could still dull conversation, and Loki's face clouded as he spoke of them. Bruce had been concentrating mostly on writing down what he was being told; only glancing up briefly every now and then to nod. However, this time he put his pen down to give his patient his full attention.
"It would be useful to talk about the Chitauri too, Loki."
"I know." The trickster's hand unconsciously moved towards his stomach in a protective gesture. "I do try not to think about that aspect of my imprisonment, you know."
"And for good reason. However, a little information would be useful; you don't need to tell me everything. For example; did all the pregnancies carry well?"
"Surprisingly yes. I only felt movement with the last two, though – the others weren't carried for long enough."
Bruce nodded understandingly. "Did any spontaneously miscarry, or were they all ended by the Chitauri?"
"The Chitauri. Except the last one." Loki's voice had grown tight and his gaze had moved back to the window again to distract from the topic. "The last one was born, which is why the damage was so severe ."
"Yes, Tony has already explained that one – he suggested that you probably wouldn't want to."
"Accurate."
Bruce looked back down at his notes. "And that brings us up to speed on all of the pregnancies we know about. Is there anything else I need to add to this? Any miscarriages or stillbirths?"
Loki met Tony's gaze briefly then nodded. "Actually yes." He heard his husband's sudden intake of surprise. "And as you can tell, I have not really spoken about them much."
"Would you mind talking about them now? Or is there something that has been keeping you from doing so?"
The prince smiled, which came as a surprise to the other two. "I have mostly not said anything to spare other people's feelings. The incidents were sadly avoidable so nothing spontaneous."
"By other people, that's Thor, right?" Tony had been keeping out of it mostly, but given that this was new to him too he was intrigued.
"Yes, Thor." Loki had relaxed now that the conversation had moved away from the Chitauri once more. "I do not blame him, but he would blame himself so I have simply never told anyone. I was at twenty nine and eighteen weeks respectively when he pulled me through the Bifrost and fourteen weeks when he dragged me into a fight I invariably lost. That's how I learned the hard way that I needed to learn a safer mode of multi-dimensional travel than the Bifrost. But I had never told anyone that I was pregnant any of those times, so there was no way he could have known what danger he put me in."
"Unusually magnanimous of you." Tony stated dryly.
"Even when I was at my most furious with him I wasn't going to tell him he accidently caused me to miscarry three children. I am not that cruel!"
"Actually you really are, hence why we're surprised." Bruce said with a smirk.
"And now I really want to know who the hell was the father? Or fathers?" Tony added.
"Fathers, plural. Three of them, given they were rather spaced out. The High Priest of the Enlighted Sanctum of Alfheim, General Gorrangg the Destroyer of Muspelheim, and King Henry the Fifth of England."
"King Henry the- you know what? Never mind. Sorry I asked."
Loki grinned. "Feeling inferior, Stark?"
"Hell no, I'm just wondering if Stark the Imperial Mechanical Wonderlord of Midgard is a bit too much."
"Ever so slightly too much."
Bruce cleared his throat. "Anyway." He put the notepad and pen to one side. "From what you've said it sounds like historically you've only had issues when there have been extenuating circumstances. As long as these two don't turn out to be lizards or something, I think everything should continue to be alright. And if there is an issue nearer the time we can always elect to do a caesarean."
Loki winced and shook his head. "I would prefer that that is left as a very last resort."
"I understand you have some negative memories attached to the procedure but-"
"Yes I do, but it is more that human medication does not work on me. I would really prefer not to have a caesarean without anaesthetic."
That drew Bruce up short. "Oh. Wait. No human medication works? So local, general, epidurals, we haven't got any pain relief that will work for you?"
"Not as such, no."
Bruce picked the notepad back up. "Right. Caesarean is out of the question unless life or death. Anything else I should know whilst we're here?"
MWMWMWWMMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMW
They did talk some more, although Loki didn't have any other revelations to disclose and he and Tony left together not long after.
"Sorry that was difficult for you." They were down in Tony's labs, and the man's voice was slightly distracted as he watched what he was doing on the computer screen.
"It wasn't as if I wasn't expecting it. It is better that Doctor Banner has this information should anything go wrong."
"True. We'll have to work on a Jötunn-friendly anaesthetic for you. Even if you don't need it for this, something else may crop up in the future where it will be useful. Does the human stuff work on Thor either?"
"Not really. It will knock him out, but only for a few minutes, whereas for a human it would last hours."
"Huh. I'll look into it." Tony glanced at his husband and grinned. "So; we've managed to hide for most of the day, do you think we should go and face the music?"
"I would rather hide some more; Evelyn's been in a terrible mood recently."
"Yeah, mostly because she knows we're hiding something from her. This should hopefully cheer her up."
"It is the way you say 'hopefully' that makes me worry."
"Yeah, well." Tony nodded up at the cameras. "Jarvis, can you ask her royal highness to please grace us with her presence. And don't phrase it like that."
It was a good ten minutes before Evie appeared in the doorway, surly and unimpressed with being summoned. There were iron filings caught in her sweater sleeves that suggested they'd pulled her away from one of her projects and maybe somewhat accounted for the scowl.
"What? Jarvis said you needed to speak to me. Like you guys can't make the trek up a few flights of stairs rather than dragging me down here."
"Lovely to see you too, dearest." Tony met snark with snark and gestured at the spare stool by the work bench. "Park your butt and stop being a bitchy teenager for a moment, we want to talk to you about something." He waved away Loki's glare at the swearing.
Evie did so with very bad grace.
"Is this where you finally bother to tell me what the hell is going on? Because I know something is going on and I'm sick of no one telling me anything!"
"Actually, yes. We are going to tell you."
"Huh?" The girl straightened up out of her slouch. Her scowl faded to mild interest, but that then morphed to concern. "Wait, does this mean something's wrong? I mean, I know you've not been well, Möðhy, but is it…is it something to worry about?"
Loki smiled gently at his daughter's concern for him. "I suppose you may have need to worry, but not in the way you're thinking."
"That doesn't make much sense. What's actually wrong with you?"
The trickster exchanged a look with Tony. "Well, Doctor Banner has tried to plaster the label of hyperemesis on it; but after doing my own research on the subject I do not believe it is quite bad enough to earn that title."
Evie shook her head. "I don't know what that is."
"Technical term for horrendously bad – like hospitalisation bad – morning sickness." Tony was grinning as he said it, waiting for that moment of realisation.
"Can that be treated?! Are you going to be o-" The girl stopped mid-word as her brain finally caught up with current events. "Wait. Morning sickness. Like, morning sickness?" She stared at Loki open mouthed. "You mean…"
"Indeed." Loki smiled and waved a hand at the screen behind them, so that the latest ultrasound came up on the monitor. Unlike the first one taken, this clearly showed the two blobs – looking a little less blobby now, and slightly more humanoid.
"That's…you mean you're…but…That's an ultrasound!"
"It is indeed."
"That's a baby! That's…that's two babies!"
"Currently labelled Thing One and Thing Two, but I think there will be objections to those names once born." Tony chipped in happily.
Evie ignored the flippant comment, staring at her mother. Tears were quickly building. "But you can't be! You said you couldn't! With everything the Chitauri did; you can't."
"It looks like that diagnosis was a little premature on behalf of Asgard's healers, since it seems that apparently I can."
The girl was looking between her parents and the image on the screen. "But…but…"
"Are you…is this okay, Birdy? We were kinda hoping you would be excited about this." Tony said gently.
"I…yeah…Oh my God…" Evie may have been in tears, but she laughed all the same. "This is happening? This is really happening?! I'm going to be a big sister?"
"It's looking that way."
"Oh my God!" She launched herself off the stool at Loki, who had rather been expecting the move and caught her in a tight hug. "You're really…So you're actually…"
"Yes to all of the above."
The girl was laughing and crying in equal measure as she pulled back enough to look at her mother properly. "But you don't look pregnant! And is this why you can't use magic? And why you've been ill?"
"Yes again. And I have just enough magic left to hide the bump for now."
"There's a bump?!"
Loki smiled indulgently and waved a hand so that the glamour momentarily slipped away. Evie let out a squeal of delight.
"There's a bump! You're actually pregnant! I'm going to be a big sister!"
"Twice." Tony added for good measure. "Let's not forget we're counting two blobby blobs on that screen."
The girl glanced back up at the scan again, the delight still evident on her face. "This is amazing! Why didn't you just tell me straight away? Why did you hide this?"
"We couldn't say for certain that the pregnancy would hold. I've been so miserably ill that I assumed the worst would happen. We didn't want to tell you only for me to lose the babies." Loki held up a hand to stall the obvious questions as Evie's smile turned to horror. "But that isn't an issue now. Doctor Banner believes everything seems quite alright, and that my illness is down to the strain of carrying two - they're fine, I'm just suffering the side effects. Everything should be fine, but we wanted to wait for the twelve week mark just to make certain."
"Twelve weeks? You're twelve weeks now?"
"Near enough."
"But how is this possible?" Evie remembered all too well the conversation on Asgard when they had first told her that Loki would never be able to have children again. This was a scenario she had dreamed of, but had always assumed would never happen.
"Ah, well." The trickster had the grace to look slightly abashed at the question. "Yes, so. It's a funny story really. You recall that trip I took to save your father from his heart condition…?"
MWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWM
Although, like Bruce had suggested, everything seemed to be going well and progressing nicely, Loki was still struggling with keeping anything down. He usually made an effort to stay in the same room as everyone during meal times, but Rhodey had insisted on Thai and the trickster had discovered that whilst he could deal with most things the Nine Realms could throw at him, the smell of coconut was not one of them.
This meant he was holed up in the bedroom, bored and wondering if it was safe to try a glass of water yet.
"Jarvis, what time is it in England?"
"About one o'clock in the morning, sir."
Loki shrugged and pulled Tony's tablet over anyway. He had his own of course, but he'd left it in the main room and now that he was comfortable he didn't really want to move. Plus moving meant the possibility of being ill again and he didn't want to risk it.
"If you are intending to speak with your son, I can confirm that he's online right now, sir."
"…Are you spying on my son, Jarvis?"
"I spy on everyone sir; it's what I do."
Loki didn't look convinced. "And I thought I was meant to be the untrustworthy one around here."
"Thank you for that, sir."
With the gradually growing circle of people in the know it seemed only fair that he spoke to his second eldest. It wasn't exactly something that he was looking forward to; their conversations didn't usually go well.
He typed and retyped a few different approaches to a message before giving up on the long-winded approach and stuck with a simple 'Are you online? I'd like to talk'.
Despite the little tick that indicated the note had been read there wasn't a reply for a good few minutes – certainly long enough for Loki to give up on the idea and start browsing through Tony's latest projects.
Then there was a little flashing icon of an incoming call.
"There's a call for you, sir."
"Yes, I can see that, Jarvis. You said it was one o'clock in the morning over there?" It was a video call too – other than that one photo sent through they hadn't communicated face to face for longer than Loki could remember. "Do you think you could give us some privacy here, Jarvis?"
"Certainly sir." There was no other noticeable sign in the room that the AI's presence had gone, but Jarvis was usually good to his word for that at least. Now alone Loki accepted the call.
"You are aware what time it is, right?"
"You could have waited until morning to reply."
Contrary to his complaint Merlin looked like he was sitting at a desk, and the light was on behind him. Loki frowned slightly. "You look tired; why are you still awake?"
"And you look like you've been hit by a truck so let's keep our opinions to ourselves, shall we? What do you want, Möðhy?"
"I wished to speak to you-"
"Yes, that much is obvious. What about?"
"And this is why we don't talk much!" Loki found it difficult to hold a conversation with his son on a good day; when tired and feeling like shit it was even harder. "Look. There's something I wanted to tell you, but if now isn't a good time, it can wait."
"It was obviously important enough that you wanted to get in contact." Merlin propped his head up in one hand with a heavy sigh. "I know you've tried to be a slightly more involved parent recently, but you don't normally call me just to chat. So I'm assuming something has happened?"
"You could say that."
"Have you heard more about those attacks? I've been monitoring the local system around Earth, but my power can't reach any further."
"Not so much. Heimdall is keeping watch for anything, but I can't do much right now."
Merlin raised an eyebrow. "Oh?"
"That's what I want to discuss with you." Loki smiled slightly. "But nothing terrible I assure you."
There was silence for a moment before the warlock groaned. "Oh Gods…you've gone and got yourself knocked up again, haven't you?"
"I…what?"
"Don't act innocent; I know you far too well for that! You're pregnant."
"Well…that negates the need for a full conversation at least."
"Oh Norns; Möðhir! Seriously?!" Merlin looked disgusted. "How the hell did you get yourself pregnant?! Contraception is a thing, you know."
"I am aware, thank you. This isn't the fourteen hundreds anymore." And this was why Loki struggled to talk with his son. If there was an argument to be had, Merlin could find a way to start it. "Anyway, I wished to tell you, since we told Evie earlier and she was actually pleased about it."
"Pleased? Yet another sibling I'm not actually going to meet, and that you didn't intend to have in the first place? Oh yes, because I don't have enough of those lying around the Nine Realms!"
"Oh for Norns sake, Merlin!" The trickster snapped. "I am not looking for an argument here; I am simply informing you of what is happening. You don't need to be so antagonistic!"
"If you wanted me to be pleased I'm afraid to say it's not going to happen. Getting yourself accidently knocked up isn't something to be proud of, Möðhir!"
Loki gaped at the screen. "Accidently…"
"Merlin, you are a complete and utter dick." Tony's voice cut across the trickster's attempt at a response. "Are you intending to be as hurtful as possible or was that just a bonus?"
Loki glanced over his shoulder to see his husband standing at the door, looking absolutely furious. "Tony, now isn't the-"
"No, now is exactly the time!" Tony stormed over so that he was in the view of the tablet webcam. "I'm not going to let shit like that fly!"
"Oh, hello Mr Stark; is there a problem?"
"Yes there's a problem! You have no idea-"
"No, he doesn't. He really doesn't have any idea, Tony." Loki pushed his husband back so that he wasn't being crowded. "If you recall; we decided to be sparing of the details with the children."
"Children?!" Merlin looked outraged. "I'm thousands of years old! And what details?"
At his husband's insistence, Tony sulked back out of the webcam's view again. They had agreed not to go into the gory details of the Chitauri's experiments with Loki's children. Other than quietly explaining that he was unlikely to be able to get pregnant again he hadn't elaborated on what had actually happened.
However, with Merlin looking absolutely furious and Tony about ready to punch the tablet screen Loki decided that maybe something needed to be said.
"Okay, if we all calm down and maybe we can have this conversation like adults. Tony, you may stay if you can be reasonable. Merlin, I will explain if you promise to actually let me speak more than two sentences without finding a reason to insult me."
There was a grumble of grudging agreement from both men.
No matter how many times he talked about it, Loki didn't think he could ever get used to discussing what the Chitauri had done to him. However, he was well known for his ability to spin any tale to gold, no matter how dark.
He didn't hold back the details – although he would have liked to – but he had promised the story, so Merlin would get the whole story. In some grisly and gory detail at points. The trickster had a vindictive streak and felt that if he had to relive it, it was going to be as difficult to listen to as possible. This also meant that Tony had to hear it all again too.
Loki didn't always think things through that well.
So he talked. The Chitauri, five forced pregnancies, four forced caesareans, one difficult birth. The damage that birth had caused which left him with a shredded reproductive system that even the very best healers couldn't fully put back together.
And the brief moment that he had all but forgotten about but that had changed all of that for him once again.
A miracle in the face of it all really. Well…a miracle as much as a Pagan God would understand it. Loki had a dim view on the term; he'd been turning water into various alcoholic beverages since he was old enough to want to drink them and didn't consider that miraculous.
However, by the end of the explanation Merlin was looking less annoyed and far more sympathetic.
"And you say the illness isn't stopping, is that usual for you?"
"No; I have usually been alright with regards to morning sickness. Doctor Banner believes this is because of the previous injuries. He thinks I am healed enough to carry, but not healed fully."
"Double the trouble doesn't help either." Tony added.
"Double the…" Merlin's eyes widened and then he actually smiled. "Oh. Oh, well that's…Really? Twins? You aren't exactly looking like you're saddled with twins."
"My magic is currently pitiful, but there is enough to hide my appearance. The others here would probably have noticed by now otherwise."
"They don't know?"
"Not yet.
"That's going to be a fun conversation."
Tony leant over Loki's shoulder so that he was back on the screen. "Sure is! You could be there for it, you know." He grinned when Merlin frowned at him. "Door's always open; we seem to collect people that find they don't quite fit in with the rest of society."
"I find I can fit in quite well, thank you."
"Well, the offer's always there. You've got family here. Family who want to be family."
"Yes, well…I'll think on it. But as you can see Möðhir and I do not exactly get along." Merlin smirked, and for a moment looked exactly like his mother. "However, I appreciate you telling me about this development. It's nice to actually know about a sibling before they come along for once. Well, two siblings."
"We'll keep you in the loop; let you know if Loki actually manages to eat anything, that sort of thing."
"I'd appreciate it."
Once they'd finished the call Loki had to admit that he felt happier about the situation. The conversation had gone better than he'd hoped, and Tony's casual invitation had been a welcome surprise. He knew the man had been very accepting of Sleipnir, but it was nice that despite how icy Merlin tended to act, Stark was willing to take him under his wing too.
He knew there was a reason he kept the man around.
"Sir's, a parcel has arrived in main reception. It is addressed to Mr Loki." Jarvis announced. "And by 'arrived' I mean it genuinely just materialised on the desk. However, I have decided it is not a threat due to the runic language used as the return address."
"Merlin is sending parcels?" Tony raised an eyebrow at his husband, who shrugged in return. He couldn't really see why the warlock would want to send anything so soon after speaking to them. However, it made a little more sense a few minutes later when Jarvis dropped the box off with them.
It was small – about the size of a jewellery box - and when Loki opened it released a pungent smell of herbs.
"Uh…the hell?" Tony sniffed and grimaced. "Smells like Bruce's tea cupboard."
"That's because it is tea." Loki was smiling broadly. "And whilst I would normally complain that I have tried every type of tea going for morning sickness, this mixture has a spell woven through it."
"Is that…uh, is that safe?"
"Merlin is not particularly good at pure healing magic, but he is very adept at adding a spell into something to create the same effect. And besides, I am so tired of these symptoms I would happily try anything by this point!"
MWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWM
The next week or so was such an improvement over the past few months that it was like a series of personality transplants had taken place.
Evie was back to her usual happy self now that she was in on the secret, so was no longer sulking around, and a happy teenager is always the best type to have around. Likewise, Loki was feeling considerably better. The tea wasn't a complete cure to the sickness – he was still suffering first thing in the mornings, and strong smells didn't agree with him – but he could keep simple foods down and that was enough to significantly bring up his mood.
Scott was steadily becoming a fixture around the place. Tony hadn't been kidding when he had told Merlin that they seemed to collect the waifs and strays of the world. From their initial motley crew they had managed to gain quite a few members – Loki included. Lang fitted in fairly well, now that he had gotten the hero worship out of the way. It would have been worrying how well an ex-con slipped right in along with the rest of them, if it weren't for the world-conquering God, the ex-Soviet super-soldier, the ex-douchebag multibillionaire kinda-arms-dealer…
But it was good to have everyone in the tower in a good mood again; ex-cons and homicidal maniacs alike. They were back to tracking Hydra again, but with the helicarrier now a toy on the kitchen table the group had died away on the radar. No doubt they were planning something, but what that was and where they were doing it was still unclear. So the Avengers were spreading their considerable resources and hunting out what they could.
All eyes were on Hydra, and that meant certain other things were dropping off the radar somewhat.
Complacency was once again a key word that was going to bite them in the ass.
Thor looked like death when he came storming into the main room; white as a sheet, fists clenched as he ignored everyone else and focussed in on his brother.
"Those creatures. Asgard is under attack!"