CHAPTER FIVE: 1996
As the water continued to fall over Ginny's face, she reluctantly admitted to herself that she wasn't going to drown. It was a good thing the school showers were magical, or she would have run out of hot water ages ago. But she still really didn't want to get out and face the world again, not after the disaster of that day's Quidditch practice. The image of Angelina looking more and more hopeless over the course of their all-day practice still appeared every time Ginny closed her eyes. She had finally realized her dream of being on the Gryffindor Quidditch team, yet she couldn't even bring herself to look forward to her first match.
She finally turned off the water and stepped out of the shower. As she was drying herself off, she glanced at the clock on the wall and was glad she had stopped when she did, it was almost curfew. She quickly got dressed and left the bathroom, heading back toward Gryffindor Tower. As she was walking down the seventh floor corridor on her way to the Fat Lady, she passed her boyfriend going the opposite direction.
"Oh," said Michael, somewhat coolly, "There you are, I was looking for you."
"Yeah, sorry," said Ginny in a tired voice, "I kind of lost myself in the shower. Kept going over the practice again and again in my head."
Michael crossed his arms. "I suppose spending the whole day thinking about it wasn't enough?"
Ginny didn't know what he was on about, but she was fairly certain it was something she decidedly did not need right now on top of everything else.
"What's your problem?" asked Ginny.
"Well," Michael threw his arms up in exasperation, "It's Valentine's Day, and you've been preparing to play Quidditch, playing Quidditch, or reminiscing about Quidditch, right until the end of the day. It just kind of stings a little."
Ginny took a deep breath and gave an exasperated sigh. "Michael, you said that you were fine with me being at practice today. We agreed we'd make it up later."
"Well of course I said that," Michael said condescendingly, "What was I supposed to say? I knew Johnson didn't give you a choice, but you could have at least acted like it was difficult for you, and made some time afterward. Instead, it's like you don't even care. Today, it felt like I didn't even have a girlfriend!"
Ginny's patience snapped.
"So let me get this straight," said Ginny icily, "Not only am I supposed to just know when something's bothering you even when you lie about how you're feeling, but I'm also supposed to make a show of beating myself up over doing my job for my team, all so that you can feel like you have a girlfriend, despite the fact that you do have a girlfriend, so that totally makes sense!"
As she went on, her voice got louder and louder until she was shouting at him. In the back of her mind, she knew she was taking her hopelessness and frustration about the dire state of the team out on him, but she was too tired to care.
"And to be clear," she continued, stepping towards him and poking him in the chest, "Angelina didn't force me to practice today, I agreed that it was necessary, because this team is important to me. It's a hell of a lot more important than going on a date on Valentine's Day instead of any other day. Are we clear?"
Michael didn't flinch as he glared back into her eyes.
"Yeah, you're right," he said venomously, "I guess I'm just being stupid."
The way he emphasized the word made his meaning clear: she was the one being stupid. If Ginny hadn't been about to fall asleep on her feet, she probably would have hexed him.
"I need to get to bed," she said flatly, "I'll see you tomorrow."
She continued on toward the Fat Lady without looking back at him. After she gave the password and climbed through the portrait hole, she leaned against the wall of the common room and closed her eyes. She knew she would regret that later. He just got so frustrating sometimes. He alternated between not taking her commitment to Quidditch seriously, and smugly acting like it was a given Ravenclaw was going to win due to their superior planning and tactics.
She trudged across the common room and was about to head up the stairs to the girls dormitory, when she noticed something out of the corner of her eye. Harry was sitting by himself in one of the armchairs by the fire, staring into the flames and brooding. That in itself wasn't noteworthy, Harry was always brooding these days. But she figured he would be happy today of all days, since today was his big date with Cho Bloody Chang. Unless…
The date went terribly! she thought, getting a running start and full-on leaping to conclusions, He was miserable the entire time, realized she's terrible for him, and now he's over her!
Why do you care? asked a voice inside her that sounded like Michael.
I don't, she told the voice firmly, I'm just concerned that a friend is upset.
Suddenly breathing very fast and no longer tired at all, Ginny walked over to the fire and sat down in the armchair next to Harry.
"Hey," she said.
Harry jumped, not having noticed her. What else was new?
"Oh," he said, "hey. Ron and Hermione are already gone. Prefect duties."
"Good, maybe Hermione can comfort him," sighed Ginny, "Merlin knows he needs it."
Harry winced. "So it's safe to say practice didn't go well? Ron didn't want to talk about it."
"If you want to win an award in understandment, yes you can say that," said Ginny with a defeated laugh, "After Angelina was satisfied with my seeking, she sent Ron and I to one end of the field just to take shots at him while she, Alicia, and Katie ran passing drills. He didn't block a single one of my shots. And, don't tell him this, but by the end I was holding back a bit."
Harry threw his head back and groaned. She knew that he was once again beating himself up for being banned and blaming himself for the team's current predicament, despite the fact that that made no sense, since Ron was already struggling before Harry got banned.
Oh, so you can tell what HE'S feeling without him saying it? said Michael's voice.
Shut up.
"You know, speaking of you seeking and never missing shots," said Harry, suddenly with narrowed eyes and looking at her with such focus it made her blush, "How did you get so good at Quidditch? Ron said they'd never let you practice with them, then you just showed up at the tryouts and got the spot as the new Seeker. After the original one decided to be an idiot, I mean."
Ginny resisted the urge to break into a mischievous smile, and instead just shrugged casually.
"Well, you had never even heard of Quidditch before you were put on the team, right?"
Then, she put on a dark scowl for him, "Unless you're saying only the great Harry Potter can have natural talent, while the rest of us have to work our butts off to get on your level?"
Harry's face turned white and his mouth gaped open as his brain processed what she was saying.
"Wha — no — I don't — I just thought that—"
"Harry." She placed a hand on his wrist, cutting off his adorable floundering and smiling widely at him. "I'm just messing with you."
Harry visibly relaxed and returned her smile, making her stomach do a flip.
"The actual truth is," Ginny whispered, leaning towards him conspiratorially. He leaned in to meet her until their faces were closer than they had ever been.
Ginny's heart was pounding in her ears, and not just because of how close he was. She hadn't told this to anyone in the world besides Hermione.
"When I was six," she whispered, "I started sneaking out of the house every night to steal my brothers' broomsticks from the shed. I used to fly all over the orchard next to the Burrow."
Harry's mouth dropped open before he grinned. Ginny felt extremely proud of herself.
"No!" he gasped, "Seriously? That's brilliant!"
"Are you going to tell Ron?"
Harry's smile disappeared. "Not if you don't want me to." Ginny found it really sweet.
"I just hope I'm there when Fred and George find out," said Harry, "They're under the impression that they're the biggest rule-breakers in your family."
Ginny gasped dramatically, "Well we can't let them know the truth, it would break their little hearts!" Harry laughed hard, and she was very proud of herself for cheering him up.
"Well, I'm glad you did," said Harry, "It's comforting that my replacement is someone who cares so much."
Ginny sat back in her chair and sighed. "Well, I'm glad someone appreciates it."
Harry tilted his head questioningly. Ginny told him about her argument with Michael.
"What annoys me more than anything is this idea that I'm supposed to read his mind," said Ginny. It felt good to vent about it to someone.
"Oh believe me, I completely get that," said Harry. "I guess now I know it's not just girls who do that."
Ginny frowned. "What are you talking about? Hermione getting on your nerves?"
"No," said Harry, looking uncomfortable, "I just kind of...completely, totally blew my date with Cho today."
Ginny's eyes widened and her breath hitched as she remembered why she had come over to him in the first place.
"What happened?" she asked.
"Well things started out so well!" he said in exasperation, "We were walking down to Hogsmeade together and we were talking about Quidditch. That was nice, since it's one of the three things I can hold a conversation about."
"What else more do you need?" shrugged Ginny.
"And then she takes me to this teashop in the village—"
"No!" gasped Ginny, "Madam Puddifoot's? She didn't."
Harry nodded.
"Oh, I wish I could have been there," said Ginny, grinning sadistically, "Seeing you in that place would have been hilarious."
"How do you know that place?" Harry asked her, raising an eyebrow.
"Michael took me there last Hogsmeade day," said Ginny. "Stayed maybe five minutes before I couldn't take anymore. The place smells weird."
"I know, right?" said Harry. "Anyway, I mention that Hermione told me she had something important to talk to me about at the Three Broomsticks later that day, but I assured Cho I wasn't ditching her and she was welcome to come. She said okay, but soon afterwards she started talking about all her past boyfriends. She pointed out Roger Davies snogging his date and said he asked her out once."
"Pleasant conversation topic," said Ginny.
"Yes, to be clear, nothing prompted this," said Harry, "She just randomly said it. Then, she starts reminiscing about Cedric taking her to that tea shop! Then, before I know what's happening, she's crying in the tea shop and asking me details about…..that night."
"Oh no…." said Ginny, clapping her hand over her mouth. "Oh Harry, I'm so sorry. That must have been horrible…"
"Well it sure as hell wasn't a laugh," said Harry bitterly. "Then she just gets up and runs out. I know I must have missed something, but I can't figure out what the hell she was getting at. Anyway," he said, trying to smile again, "I definitely understand wanting people to just say what they mean."
Ginny was fairly certain she knew what Chang was "getting at." She had felt threatened by Harry saying he was going to meet another girl, so decided to remind him just how popular with boys she was in order to make him jealous.
But Ginny sure as hell wasn't going to tell Harry that. Chang didn't need the benefit of the doubt. Everyone knew that Harry and Hermione were just friends, and she had tried to make Harry relive that horrible night, when he thought he was somewhere safe.
"She's crazy, Harry," said Ginny, waving her hand dismissively, "You didn't do anything wrong. Seriously, who brings up a murder their date witnessed while on a first date?"
"Yeah, I know…" said Harry quietly, looking at his knees. "Unless…."
Ginny became concerned as his voice trailed off. "Unless?"
"Unless the entire reason why she was interested in me in the first place was just to get information about Cedric."
Ginny paused thoughtfully for a moment, then put a comforting hand on Harry's shoulder.
"Harry?" she said gently. Harry turned to look her in the eyes.
"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard you say."
They were silent for a moment, before they both snorted and erupted into laughter.
"I mean, come on," said Ginny, shaking her head, "No girl flirts with a bloke for months, snogs him under the mistletoe, and go out with him on Valentine's Day just to interrogate him about a murder. You really think that's more likely than a girl fancying you?"
"Well, I don't know!" said Harry defensively, "It's been a very confusing day. And…."
He stopped laughing and he became sullen again. He silently picked at his armrest for a few seconds.
"It's just…..it's just one more thing about my life that circles back to him, you know? For a few minutes, I could pretend I wasn't me and was just a normal bloke. But I can't even go on a date without him popping up in my life."
Ginny didn't know what to say. She just knew that he shouldn't want to be a different person, because the person that he was was brilliant.
Suddenly, Harry chuckled again.
"You know what the ironic part is? If she hadn't blown up at me and just gone with me to see Hermione, she would have gotten the whole story."
Ginny frowned in confusion.
"Hermione had set up an interview," explained Harry. "For me to tell my side of what happened that night, as opposed to the Prophet. It's getting published in The Quibbler, but at least it will be out there. So I laid it all out, from beginning to end."
Ginny's face lit up. "Harry, that's great! I'm sure lots of people will start believing you once the real story actually gets out."
"Thanks," muttered Harry, "Anyway, Cho can read all about it then. She won't even have to bother with me."
Yeah, and when she reads it she'll realize how horrible she was to you and come running back into your arms, Ginny thought bitterly.
"You know, Harry," Ginny said in a light voice, leaning towards him and twirling her hair with her fingers. She knew she was being pathetic, but she assured herself that her crush was only resurfacing because of her fight with Michael and Harry's disaster date, and she'd get over it again tomorrow.
"I can't help but notice," she continued, "That Cho started acting weird when you mentioned you were going to meet Hermione. Some girls don't think boys can really think of girls as just friends, and don't like their boyfriends having female friends."
"That's ridiculous!" cried Harry.
"Yeah, I know," said Ginny sadly, "But if she does think like that, you would never choose her over Hermione, right?"
"No," Harry admitted, "And it's true Cho always got pretty tense around Hermione. And she really doesn't seem to like Ron."
"If your girlfriend doesn't get along with your friends, and you're always having to choose between them, then I don't see that ending well," Ginny said reasonably.
"Yeah, I guess you're right," said Harry, sounding very disappointed. "And she would probably get even more annoyed when she figures out there's parts of my life that Ron and Hermione know about but she can't. I mean, it's not like I can tell her all about the Order, or Sirius, and oh yeah, the fact that I have a mental connection with bloody Voldemort!"
"Yeah, you have a lot to deal with, and sometimes you can't dump all of it on someone who's removed from it." said Ginny, "But the person you're with should be someone you could trust completely, with all parts of your life."
Seriously pushing her luck now, she said, "Maybe it would just be easier to go out with someone who already knows the darkest parts of you. That way, there's no risk of scaring them off. Chatting about Quidditch is fun for a few minutes, but it's not enough for a long-term relationship."
"Well that's just bloody great!" Harry said sarcastically, and slouched into his armchair, looking defeated and hopeless. "So all I have to do is find a girl who knows about Quidditch, likes Ron and Hermione as much as I do, and already knows my deepest, darkest secrets and doesn't run away screaming." He looked right at her. "What are the odds I'll ever find a girl like that?"
Ginny smiled at him and shrugged. "Well hey, the world is a big place, you never know," she said, as she screamed inside her head and resisted the urge to strangle him.
"Come on, midgets! It's getting late! Get to bed!" Ron barked at a group of first-years, and they scattered in fright in the directions of their common rooms.
"Don't call them midgets, Ronald!" Hermione said again, swatting his arm, but the corners of her mouth curled up in a small smile.
They were patrolling the castle, sending stragglers at the end of the day off to bed before they got detention.
"This part of the job kind of feels...hypocritical for us, doesn't it?" asked Ron.
"May I remind you, Ron," said Hermione with her nose in the air, "that I only break school rules for good reasons. I'm not the one who makes bets with Malfoy to get into duels in the middle of the night just to prove a point."
"Yeah, yeah," muttered Ron, "I know, you're bloody perfect, Hermione." He tried to make it sound like he was being sarcastic, even though he wasn't.
"Besides," said Hermione, "We haven't snuck around the school at night in years. We're perfectly capable of trying to guide younger students."
"Er — actually…." said Ron nervously.
Hermione stopped and turned towards him with her eyes flashing dangerously.
"Ron…." she said in a warning voice.
"Before the Quidditch tryouts," admitted Ron, "I was sneaking down to the Quidditch field at night to practice flying."
Hermione gaped. "Ron! Please tell me you at least had the map or the cloak!"
"No…." Ron said meekly, "At the time, I didn't want Harry to know."
Hermione sighed and shook her head. "What am I going to do with you?" but Ron felt giddy when he heard affection in her voice.
"Fat lot of good all that practice did with me," said Ron glumly, throwing cold water onto himself. "I should never have bothered trying out. I'm a disaster of a Keeper."
"Ron, stop it!" said Hermione harshly, grabbing his arm. "This is a self-fulfilling prophecy. Your opinion of yourself is your entire problem. It's just like with your schoolwork, you'd be capable of so much more if you just saw yourself the way I see you."
Ron blushed furiously and was struck speechless. He just continued walking next to her, conveniently bumping their elbows at times just to touch her.
Then, Ron noticed a familiar smell in the air. He sniffed a few times, then his eyes widened in realization.
"Hey, that smell…." said Ron, "Are you wearing the perfume I got you?"
"Yes, so what?" said Hermione sharply, not looking at him, "That is what one does with perfume, isn't it?"
"Nothing's wrong!" said Ron defensively, putting his hands up. "I'm just….I'm glad you like it."
Ron's heart was pounding and he tried to calm down. It was truly pathetic how badly he had it for this girl. He couldn't believe how stupid he had been, not seeing her as a girl. Not only was she A girl, she was the girl, the epitome of the word. The only girl he pictured himself with.
But he had to get a hold of himself, because nothing could happen. If he was mistaken, if he told her how he felt and she didn't feel the same way and just saw him as a friend, it would ruin everything. How were they supposed to go back to being friends after that? And her friendship was too important to him to risk.
But still, it was nice to walk with her.
XXXXX
Pre-curfew patrol was probably the part of prefect duties that Hermione liked the most, because those were the longest times she got to be alone with Ron. She loved Harry, but she found herself getting annoyed at him whenever he joined the two of them and interrupted….whatever it was that seemed to fill the air with the two of them.
Now, she could freely talk to Ron without him and Harry devolving into boyish, childish jokes. Even when they weren't talking, she got a thrill just from walking with him. It would be so easy to move her hand just an inch to the side and entwine his fingers with hers.
His words before the Yule Ball had crushed the budding hope she had started to feel, but over the past year the stray look or comment he sent her way had made her think that there might be something growing between them.
Then, Christmas had sent Hermione's imagination into overdrive. A year after Ron was in disbelief at the idea of her being a girl, he had gifted her a bottle of perfume. That was probably the first definitively, unambiguously "girly" gift she had gotten since she was a young girl. It made her wonder how he was now viewing her.
The perfume's very unusual scent was something she still hadn't managed to place. It was unlike anything she had smelled before, but after the first surprise she found that she loved it. It was something she never knew that she wanted.
Hermione smiled to herself. That really did sum Ron up, didn't it? Everything she never knew that she wanted.
But she pushed her feelings down and focused on her Prefect duties. Nothing could happen. If she was mistaken, if she told him how she felt and he didn't feel the same way and just saw her as a friend, it would ruin everything. How were they supposed to go back to being friends after that? And his friendship was too important to her to risk.
But still, it was nice to walk with him.
My intention was to post the last chapter of this on Valentine's Day, but it didn't work out that way.