DISCLAIMER: The characters do not belong to me…they are all the creation of the wonderful Stephenie Meyer.
Baby's First Smile
Bella's POV
The room was so silent, filled only with the sounds of Edward's deep breathing as he slept and my much lighter sounds as I stared up at the ceiling. I knew it couldn't be any earlier than six in the morning and I also knew my son had to be up by now. He always woke between five-forty-five and six in the morning. I wanted to go and get him, but I couldn't get up on my own or bring myself to wake Edward up. He deserved to sleep in with all of the hard work he'd been doing to take care of Charlie and me.
Last night had been the first time Edward and I had really talked since the baby had been born. It had been a tense conversation, often broken up by my crying, but I was glad I'd been able to talk to him about my feelings. And hearing his point of view had definitely helped me to feel a little better about this whole situation. It was nice to know he still saw me as being beautiful and that he really believed I was being the best mother I could be under the circumstances.
The bedroom door opened and Esme peeked in. "Bella?" she called softly.
"I'm awake," I whispered. "Edward's still sleeping."
She came into the room, smiling at the sight of her son sleeping deeply and hugging his pillow. "Good. He needs to catch up on his rest. I had a feeling you might be up, though. Would you like to come downstairs with me? You can feed Charlie and talk with Carlisle and me."
I smiled wide—as if anyone ever needed to ask me if I wanted time with my son. "I would love it. Thank you so much."
Esme helped me up from the bed and I managed to get to my feet without making any noises. If Edward heard the slightest hiss from me, I knew he would be awake in an instant.
"So did the two of you have a nice night?" Esme asked as we walked down the stairs together.
"It was a good night," I replied. "We talked about what happened and about how I'm feeling now. Hearing his viewpoint meant a lot to me and I'm glad I got to talk to him about it. He made it so easy, too, Esme. He really listened to me, and he didn't try to argue with me about how I felt. He just told me his view and that was it. And he told me the advice you gave him about living life and being too busy for regret."
"Good. I'm glad the two of you were able to speak freely and help each other. You already seem so much lighter than you did yesterday. Just know that it's far from over, Bella. You are going to get angry about it before you start to really heal from it. And when it happens, you can't let yourself feel guilty. You have a right to that anger. I certainly had a right to mine."
We walked into the kitchen and I immediately erupted into laughter. Carlisle, my prim and proper father-in-law, was still in his pajamas, with his hair completely disheveled, and he was making the goofiest faces at my little boy.
"Morning, Bella," he chuckled, peering at me over the top of Charlie's head.
"Morning, Carlisle," I replied, carefully lowering myself into the chair next to him. "Having fun?"
"With a grandson as sweet as this little man, how could I not be?" he asked, handing me my baby. "But I think he's ready to get some attention from his mother."
"Hello, little man," I cooed, hugging my baby close. "Mommy missed you last night. Did you sleep well for Grandma and Grandpa?"
"He was his usual night owl self," Esme chuckled. "We did as Edward said, though, and left off the lights."
"But we couldn't resist talking to him a little," Carlisle added. "No more than we could resist Edward or Alice when they were that age."
"I doubt it would have made much difference," I said. "It's going to take a couple of nights for him to start to get the idea anyway. We'll just keep him up today so that he's extra tired tonight."
"Here's his bottle, Dear," Esme said as she placed it on the table. "And his cloth," she added, draping it over my shoulder.
"Okay, little man. I want you to keep this all inside of your little tummy today. No covering Mommy in spit up this early in the day," I said, as he clamped his little lips onto his bottle.
"We're going over to Alice and Jasper's to visit and to give Jasper some relief from Lily," Esme chuckled as she sat down with a coffee cup. "He didn't quite realize what he was agreeing to when he offered to watch Lily while Emmett and Rosalie went on their trip."
My brother and Alice had been getting along very well for the last couple of months and we'd finally learned why. Alice had helped Emmett to plan a long weekend away for just Rose and him. He had taken her to Santa Cruz, California to spend a few days in a house right on the beach.
"It seems the demands of a very pregnant Alice mixed with the demands of an almost two-year old are more than poor Jasper can handle," Carlisle chuckled.
"That doesn't bode well for when the twins arrive," I said, laughing a little.
"Yes, but the fact that they won't be able to move will be in his favor," Carlisle replied.
"We thought it would be nice if we all went," Esme said.
"I think that would be a great idea, but I don't know about Edward," I replied. "He's been pretty agreeable lately about the walking, but I don't know if it extends to me actually leaving the property," I joked.
"We'll convince him," Carlisle assured me. "You need a change of scenery and he needs to visit his sister."
"Hear that Charlie?" I cooed as I lifted him up to my shoulder. "Your first outing where Mommy actually gets to come along," I said, lightly patting his little back.
"What about an outing?" Edward yawned as he entered the room.
"We're going to go visit Auntie Alice and Uncle Jasper," I said just as Charlie burped.
"God, that smells," Edward whined, waving his hand in front of his face.
"That's what you get for trying to kiss him while I'm burping him," I chuckled. I moved Charlie from my shoulder and made sure his little face was clean. "Daddy's a silly one, isn't he?"
Charlie moved his head in my hands, locking those brown eyes of his on Edward's face.
"You see your daddy, little man?" I asked. Charlie's little lips twitched like they had yesterday afternoon. "Edward, did you see it that time? I'm telling you he's going to figure it out and smile any second now."
Edward lifted Charlie up, holding him close and rocking him a little. "Is that right? Are you going to smile for your mommy?" The only answer the baby gave was another burp. "I think it's just gas, Bella," Edward chuckled.
"I wasn't wrong that he was a boy and I'm not wrong about the smiling thing," I told him.
He laughed again as he kissed my cheek. "We'll see, Love."
"Anyway," I said, trying to ignore his teasing. "What do you think about spending the day at Alice and Jasper's?"
Edward shrugged as Charlie tried to get his hand into his daddy's mouth. "As long as you really feel up to that, especially with little Lily running around, it's fine with me."
"It's settled then," Esme said happily. "The three of you can take your time getting ready and we'll leave here about ten or so. In the meantime, we happily return baby duty to you both and we'll be upstairs if you need us."
"Thanks again for watching him last night," Edward said as his parents stood up from the table.
"Anytime, son," Carlisle replied, patting Edward on the shoulder as he passed behind him.
Edward took his father's newly vacated seat, scooting it closer to my chair. "How are you this morning?"
"I'm good. I was hoping you would actually sleep in this morning, though."
He leaned forward, touching his forehead to mine. "I told you last night, Bella, I can't sleep without you next me."
"I love you," I replied, wishing I knew what else to say to ease his pain.
"I love you more," he whispered as he tilted his head. He pressed his lips to mine and gave me the sweetest kiss.
"Why don't I take Charlie and you find us something for breakfast?"
He kissed me once more and then handed me back our son. Charlie whimpered and held tightly to his fist full of Edward's shirt.
"Oh, he missed his daddy," I said, sniffling a little. "That's just so sweet." God, these emotions were ridiculous. They were driving me nuts and Esme said I wouldn't be done with them until I got angry. As scared as I was to go through that, it would be nice to be completely done and moving forward.
Edward's POV
I smiled as Bella sniffled and wiped at her eyes. At least these were happy tears and not those lost ones from last night. My parents had warned me that Bella would have mood swings very similar to when she'd first gotten pregnant and that I should do my best to just let her be until she asked for me. It was so hard to do that sometimes, though. Still, she'd talked to me last night, confiding her feelings of shame and failure. I could only hope she had listened to me in return and would believe what I had told her. She really was a wonderful mother so far and I knew she would improve as she healed and was able to do more.
And to think that my angel had thought for even a second that she wasn't beautiful anymore because of her scar! I'd meant every word of what I'd told her last night—that scar was just a sign of our love for each other.
I pushed those thoughts away, focusing on my Bella in this moment. She already felt like she wasn't as close to the baby as I was so I tried to come up with something to make her feel better about Charlie's reaction to me. "He's only doing it because I was the last one up," I told her. I leaned down and set the baby in her arms, prying my shirt from his little fingers. "Daddy's just going to be right over there making breakfast."
"It's okay, little man," Bella cooed, trying to soothe our baby. "Edward, turn my chair so he can watch you."
I did as she asked and then headed over to the refrigerator to see what we might have for breakfast.
"Look, there he is. There's Daddy," Bella said softly.
Charlie's whimpering stopped and I took that to mean he'd found me again with those little brown eyes of his.
"You are too much, little man," Bella chuckled. "But I get it. I love your daddy like crazy too. Is that going to be your first word? Are you going to say 'daddy' before you say anything else?"
"Don't give him ideas like that," I warned, debating internally on bagels or eggs. "You'll have no one to blame but yourself when he does make that his first word."
"Daddy is so silly," Bella told Charlie. "You like that, don't you? Daddy."
Bella suddenly gasped and I resisted the urge to stand up and look over. I had to make more of an effort to let her do things without me rushing over to handle them for her. I had to trust that if she needed me, she would ask.
"Edward, come here," Bella yelled excitedly.
"I'm looking for breakfast foods," I said, teasing her now that I knew she was fine.
"Just get over here so I can show you what our son did," she demanded.
I closed the refrigerator door and walked over to my family, squatting down in front of Bella and Charlie. His little arms and legs were moving around and I took one of his feet into my hand, playfully shaking it a little. "What did you do now, little man?"
"Charlie, Daddy has your foot. Tell Daddy to give it back," Bella said.
I watched in awe as my son smiled at me for the first time, showing off his little pink gums and tongue.
"Bella! When did he start that?" I asked, gently picking him up and holding him in my arms.
"Just now! When I told him you were being silly. As soon as I said the word 'daddy', he started to smile." She was smiling so wide—she hadn't smiled that way in a very long time.
"This is by far the coolest thing I've ever seen," I admitted.
"Pretty funny considering you thought it was Phantom of the Opera just a few years ago."
"Completely different levels, Bella." I hugged Charlie close, giving him a kiss on his cheek. "Thank you for making your mommy smile so wide," I whispered in his ear.
Bella reached out her hand and tickled Charlie under his chin. "Doesn't seem to like that so far. How about 'mommy'? Are you going to smile for Mommy, little man?" she asked, kissing the back of Charlie's little hand. "Nope," she sighed. And then she started to smile again. "Daddy has you, little man?"
Charlie opened his mouth and smiled wide, sending Bella into a fit of giggles.
"I take it you really like this?" I teased, grinning at her.
"He's smiling, Edward! And it's his first milestone that I got to experience first."
"Then you should also be the one to write about it in his baby book."
"But you're handwriting is better than mine and I want Charlie to be able to read it someday. So I'll just tell you what I'd like it to say."
"Sounds like a great compromise, Love."
"Thank you, Honey. Now give me my baby back," she said, smiling as she held her hands out.
"What baby?" I teased, leaning away from her.
"Cullen, don't make me hurt you," she warned. I might have been worried if she hadn't been smiling so wide.
"What do you think, Charlie? Do you want to see your mommy?" I asked, looking down into his little face. I loved that he had Bella's eyes—so bright and inquisitive all of the time.
Charlie started to toss his arms and legs around and I'd learned that was a "yes" in his little world, so I passed him over to Bella. He immediately calmed, nestling his face just above her heart and gripping her shirt in his little hands. Bella laid her cheek against his head and closed her eyes, that big smile still on her beautiful face.
"He really loves when you hold him," I told her. "I know it doesn't feel like you do much right now, but maybe you can take comfort in the fact that Charlie enjoys everything you do with him, no matter how small."
Bella's eyes opened as she reached out her hand, wrapping it around mine and squeezing my fingers. "Thank you."
"For what?"
"For keeping me as involved with Charlie as you can. It means so much, Edward."
"Just remember this for the next time you get mad at me," I joked, leaning up and kissing her lips. "Now, do you want eggs or bagels for breakfast?"
Bellas's POV
"A bagel with cream cheese, please," I told him. "Oh, and coffee!" I added. "I love that I can have my coffee again. And as soon as I'm on my feet, I'm making all of the meals for a month to give you a break."
"I'm holding you to that," Edward assured me as he headed for the stove.
"When Charlie starts to eat solid foods, we have to take him to the diner for waffles. He'll love that. And Em has to be there for the first time since he was the one who took me there first." I pressed my lips to Charlie's head, loving how content he was to just lay against me. "It'll be so much fun to go with Uncle Em and Auntie Rose, and Lily Bear."
"The place will never be the same again," Edward laughed.
"You want to talk about things changing, just wait until Auntie Alice has those little babies she's growing. Three babies in diapers and a toddler in potty training. Family gatherings will never be the same again."
"They're potty training Lily?"
"Yeah," I chuckled. "Rose is tired of trying to keep Lily's diaper on so she's giving it a shot. Can you believe that little girl is going to be two years old in a little over a month?"
"They grow fast."
"Oh, don't say that," I pleaded, hugging my baby. "I don't want to think about this stage with Charlie passing any faster."
"You know, you don't have to go back to work," Edward said, trying his best to sound casual. But we both knew he really wanted me to stay home with Charlie. He was worried about me missing out on experiences with our little man. It wasn't like I had to make a decision now or anything. I had until the middle of November to let the college know if I could return for the spring semester in January.
"Let's not talk about work right now. Let's just have breakfast together and then we can go up and get ready to leave. I figure I'll forgo my morning walk and save up my energy."
"Do you have any idea how much we should pack for Charlie?" Edward asked, setting our food onto the table.
"No idea at all," I chuckled. "I sure hope Rosalie is enjoying this trip with Emmett. I really hope he's being sweet and laying off the goofball routine."
"I'm sure they're having an excellent time. If not for Lily, we probably wouldn't even hear from them."
"Yeah, I wonder how many times Em has called to check on his princess."
"Do you want me to hold Charlie while you eat?" Edward asked, setting our coffee mugs onto the table top.
"I can manage a bagel and a baby at the same time," I assured him. "Besides, he's comfortable, Daddy. Don't make him move."
"Alright," he chuckled. "But let me know if you change your mind. He can be a handful when he gets excited."
"There's nothing in the kitchen to excite him that much. And with his night owl routine going, he'll probably doze off. I was thinking that while we're at Alice's, we should try to keep Charlie entertained and awake so that he's more likely to sleep tonight."
"I sure hope we can get him back on schedule quickly."
"It's your fault," I joked, smiling at Edward. "You were the one who kept saying all that stuff about him being a night owl when I was pregnant with him."
"I think he just takes after his Grandma Renee. From what Em has said, she was prone to getting excited and wanting to do things late at night."
"Yeah, she was," I agreed, smiling at the thought of my mother. "You won't get to meet her, little man. But I know she would just love you so much if she was here. When you get older and you can remember, I'm going to tell you all about her and your Grandpa Charlie. We named you for him and for Daddy—two of the most important men to ever be in my life. I thought of adding to your name to include Uncle Emmett, but then I'd have needed to include Uncle Jasper and Grandpa Carlisle, and no child should ever have to have such a long and winding name."
"What about mothers who take off on long and winding rants?" Edward teased, chuckling at me.
I just shrugged and took a big bite of my bagel, so happy to be having such a wonderful morning with my husband and my son. I knew I was far from done with dealing with everything, but it was nice to just have some quiet and normalcy amid all of the chaos of a new baby and my health.
A couple of hours later, Edward helped me up the steps of Alice and Jasper's condo while Esme carried Charlie and Carlisle took care of the two baby bags we'd ended up taking for Charlie. Between Edward and Esme, they'd practically packed everything their hands touched. Carlisle and I had enjoyed laughing together as we watched them—they hadn't been quite as amused, but then Charlie had smiled for them and all was forgotten and forgiven.
"Oh, you convinced him!" Alice shrieked as she wrapped her arms around Edward, almost knocking all three of us to the ground.
"Alice," Edward scolded. "You can't do that! Bella's not completely steady on her feet, and you're twenty-nine weeks pregnant!"
"I know how pregnant I am, little brother," she chuckled. "And I have total control of all of this baby weight," she said, already heading back into her place. "Jazzie, they're here! And they got Edward to come with Bella and the baby." She plopped herself into her recliner and put her feet up. "Bells, you take the sofa. Mom, you pass me that nephew of mine and let me cover him in kisses."
"Do not leave lipstick marks on my baby," I warned her as Edward helped me to settle onto the sofa.
"You should know I wear long lasting everything," Alice replied. Esme passed my baby to Alice and her pixie face just lit up. "How's my little nephew?" she cooed, pressing her cheek to Charlie's.
"He smiled today," I announced happily. "Four times for Edward and me, and then once for Carlisle and Esme."
"Oh, I want to see!" Alice pouted.
"Ask him where his daddy is," I chuckled.
Alice turned Charlie so that he could see everyone in the living room. "Where's your daddy, Charlie?" Alice asked him.
"Edward, wave or something," I said, tapping his arm. He was sitting behind me with a couple of pillows on his lap for me.
"Hey, little man," Edward chuckled, waving his hand as I'd asked.
Charlie's eyes landed on Edward and he immediately smiled, his little arms and legs going wild.
"Oh!" Alice cried. "That is the cutest thing ever! Jazzie, I want our babies to do that for you."
"Do what?" Jasper yawned, walking into the room with Lily perched in the crook of his arm.
"Tired?" I teased, smiling at him.
"She doesn't stop moving," he sighed, handing Lily over to Carlisle. "She didn't sleep well last night either. The traffic outside was bothering her."
"She's never heard it before at night," Esme said, kissing Lily's hand. "There's not all that noise at her house or mine."
"Regardless of the noise, we've been having fun," Jasper said, smiling at his niece. "She's been helping me to pack."
"And he had the nerve to say Lily is more useful than me," Alice announced, pouting once again.
"I was only teasing, Sweetheart," Jasper said, rubbing her arm lightly. "Besides, you're doing enough hard work caring for these two little babies inside of you," he added, lovingly rubbing her stomach.
"How's the house coming along?" Carlisle asked as he played peek-a-boo with a giggling Lily. She was standing behind Esme and would duck down every so often to hide from him before yelling "boo" out to her grandfather.
"It's nearly finished," Jasper said proudly. "Two more weeks and it'll be ready for us to move in. Emmett and Rose are going to help us unpack under Alice's supervision and we'll have the entire house ready in time for the baby shower. And once we get all of those items put away, we'll be prepared for the babies."
"Bells, do you know yet if you'll be able to be there?" Alice asked.
"No, sorry," I replied. And I really was sorry. I'd been so excited about planning out the shower with Rosalie and helping to host it. But now I wasn't sure if I would even get to attend.
"Bella is doing very well, though, Ali," Edward added quickly, not being able to stand the sight of a sad Alice or hear my sad tone. Poor guy! "If it's still scheduled for the weekend before Lily's birthday, then she may just make it."
"Still right on schedule," Alice chuckled, rubbing her hands over her wide stomach. "Just like my little babies. I told Em and Rose before they left, and now that I have all of you here with me, I can tell you guys," she chirped. "My doctor confirmed my suspicions and we are having…One little boy and one little girl," she said, touching her left side and then her right. "Unless they've moved and then it's the opposite," she chuckled.
"Are you even breathing between sentences?" Edward asked, laughing a little.
Charlie started to whimper and I gripped the back of the sofa, leaning up enough for Edward to move. "Get him for me, Edward."
"No, stay still," Jasper said, waving a hand at us. "I'll give him to you, Bells." He lifted Charlie from Alice's arms and held him close, kissing his cheek.
"I have to get up anyway," Edward said. "He probably needs a diaper change."
"I'll do it," Jasper offered.
"And I'll gladly sit back and enjoy not having diaper duty," Edward chuckled.
"I'll have him back to you as soon as he's changed," Jasper assured me as he handed me Charlie's blanket.
"The black bag has diapers and wipes," Esme told him.
Jasper chuckled as Carlisle handed him the correct bag and then he disappeared down the hallway with my baby.
"Bells, don't look so much like you're going to cry," Alice said, smiling at me.
"Not really up to me," I chuckled. "The hormones are still kind of in control of my emotions."
"I am not looking forward to that," Alice sighed.
"Twice the babies, twice the crying," Edward chuckled.
"Bells, slap my annoying little brother," Alice demanded.
I tapped one finger against his arm, smiling up at him. "Honey, be nice to your sister."
"I'm always nice," he said, leaning down and kissing my forehead. "Alice just doesn't always appreciate my sense of humor."
"Ehwor," Lily said, standing next to me and tapping on his knee.
"Oh, she almost said your name," I sniffled as Edward lifted Lily onto his lap. "She left out the 'd's', but that was your name. She's getting so big!"
"Can you say Aunt Bella's name yet?" Edward asked.
Lily nodded her head, her little curls bouncing all over. Edward helped her to lean forward so she could see my face without falling on me. "Bewwa," she said happily before giving me a big kiss on my cheek.
"Aw! I love you so much, Lily Bear," I told her as she giggled in Edward's arms.
"And here is a little man who loves you," Jasper chuckled, setting Charlie on my chest. "I think he's going to conk out on you as soon as you get his blanket around him. He was yawning pretty big while I cleaned him up."
"Baby!" Lily shouted with glee. Edward caught her hand just before it reached Charlie's head.
"Sorry, Lily Bear. You can't touch the baby on his head like that. It might hurt him," Edward said softly.
"Boo-boo?" Lily asked, cocking her head to the side in an eerily exact impersonation of her father.
"Yes," Edward agreed. "It might give the baby a boo-boo."
Lily clambered off of Edward's lap and ran over to her pile of toys on the floor. She found her favorite pink blanket and brought it over to the sofa, spreading it out over the part of Charlie she could reach. "Love baby," she announced, patting the edge of her blanket.
I watched in amazement as she touched his little hand and he smiled at her, making her giggle. This was only the third time she'd gotten to see Charlie since he was born and she was already performing such sweet gestures for her little cousin. This amazing family of ours was overflowing with love and I felt so lucky to be apart of it, and to be able to share it with my son. And with any luck, I would be smart enough to remember this feeling while going through the tough times ahead of me. I was certainly going to try!
Isn't Charlie a doll?? LOL And I love that Edward was wrong again. Gas, indeed!!