OMC!
I am so, so sorry you guys!!! I didn't realize until just now that Chapter 42 never posted on Sunday. Major apologies for that!! I will double, triple check next time!
DISCLAIMER: The characters do not belong to me…they are all the creation of the wonderful Stephenie Meyer.
Bella Blow's Up – Part 1
Bella's POV
I smiled at Edward playing with Charlie on the sofa as I finished rubbing my lotion onto my hands. I had plans to get back into bed and just relax until it was time to get dressed for Alice's party.
"You're lucky the camera isn't up here or I'd be taking a million pictures," I chuckled, moving out of the bathroom and walking toward the bed.
"Not with me looking like this," Edward yawned. His shirt had baby spit-up on one shoulder, his hair was sticking out all over, and he hadn't shaved in days. He was the epitome of a tired, new father.
I started laughing at his reaction to the idea of me taking pictures, but it quickly turned into a yelp as my feet somehow tangled themselves up and I started falling forward. It was one of those stupid slow motion falls that takes forever and ends up hurting more because of it. Poor Edward looked panicked as he sat there with Charlie on his legs—he knew just as well as I did what was coming.
I stuck my hands out to brace my fall, but the lotion made them slip and my stomach slammed into the corner of the bed, hitting my scar, of course. I screamed out in pain right up until my head slammed into the edge of the mattress and my knee struck the hard floor. By that point, I was hurting so many places that I wasn't sure what to do and I just started crying.
"Bella? Bella, answer me?" Edward was yelling, trying to be heard over the crying Charlie and I were both doing now.
Every breath was hurting, but I couldn't seem to stop crying. I also couldn't seem to get myself to unroll from the fetal position I was in, trying to hold onto my stomach. I knew it was technically making things worse, but I thought maybe if I held it in just the right way, it would stop hurting so badly.
Esme and Carlisle came into the room at some point and then she left again, taking Charlie with her. By that point, Edward and his father had gotten me up from the floor and put me onto the bed.
"Bella, I need to know where it hurts," Carlisle said.
I managed to squeak out an "everywhere" and Edward groaned next to me.
"Sweetheart, I have to lift your shirt and check your stitches," Carlisle told me.
"No, please," I begged. "It's hurts so bad right now. Please just wait."
"Bella, I have to make sure you aren't bleeding. I'll make it quick," he promised.
"Fine," I sobbed. "But I don't think I can move my arms on my own."
He and Edward each took one of my arms and gently pried them away from my tender stomach. I closed my eyes and gritted my teeth, waiting to hear that I would have to spend today in the stupid hospital. Edward brushed my hair from my sweaty forehead and held tightly to my hand, not even bothering with his usual promises that everything would be okay.
"It's spotting slightly in two spots and will definitely be bruised, but the stitches are in tact," Carlisle announced. "Where else are you hurting?"
"Forehead, left knee, and right ankle," I told him.
He spent a few minutes checking each of those spots and then left the room. Apparently, my knee and ankle would benefit from getting wrapped and he had bandages in his office.
"Bella, I realize how stupid this question is, but are you okay?"
"No, Edward," I sniffled. "I'm definitely not okay."
"Let me go get you something to drink and one of your pain pills. You still have some."
"No," I yelled, opening my eyes and looking at him. I didn't want there to be any mistake about how serious I was. "Edward, it has taken me almost nine weeks to get off those pills and I'm not getting back on them. I am going to feed my son."
"You still can. It'll just be pushed back for a week or so."
"No."
"Bella."
"Edward, I said no."
"Let's calm down," Carlisle said as he stepped back into the room. "Edward, why don't you get Bella some Tylenol and water? It'll ease her pain some and keep her on schedule for trying to feed the baby."
As soon as Edward was out of the room, I grabbed Carlisle's hand. "Bless you for getting him out of here."
"Can you blame him for being so upset?"
"No, of course not! But that doesn't mean I know how to deal with it either."
"You are both scared and you need to calm down before you end up having a silly fight over this."
"Tell him that," I grumbled.
"I will. But for now, I'm telling you," he said sternly. "I understand how hard all of this is for you, Bella, but you have to remember that it's not any easier for him."
"I'm trying to keep that in mind," I said, wiping at my eyes.
When Edward came back with the Tylenol, I made sure to thank him and smile for him. He wasn't the least bit fooled, but at least I wasn't snapping at him.
"Is Charlie okay?" I asked.
"He's fine. He was just scared from all of the yelling," Edward replied. "My mom has him in her room."
"Bella, as soon as you think you can handle it, we need to get you back down to the second floor," Carlisle said.
"Why?" I asked, knowing I was going to hate his answer because I'd agree with it.
"That extra flight of stairs is going to be impossible while your stomach is this tender," he answered. "Not to mention the injuries to your ankle and knee."
I knew I'd agree…
About an hour later, I was settled back into Emmett and Rosalie's old room. Charlie was asleep in the bassinet next to me and Edward was on the phone with Jasper and Alice. He was giving them the bad news that I wouldn't be able to attend the party. This was so unbelievably unfair! Why couldn't I make it from my bathroom to my bed without ruining everything?
"Bella, Alice would like to talk to you. If you aren't up to it, I can tell her you'll talk with her later," Edward said, holding the phone against his chest.
"No, I want to speak with her," I said, putting my hand out for the phone. "Hello?"
"Hi, Sweetie," Alice chirped. "I'm so sorry you fell, but don't you worry about a thing. I'll have my mom and Rose take so many pictures that you'll feel like you were right there with us."
"I'm sorry, Alice," I sobbed, starting to cry all over again.
"Oh, Bells, it's okay. I'm just glad you didn't hurt yourself worse."
"I don't even know what happened. My legs have been fine the last two weeks. We even went up to the third floor last night, but now we're back in Em and Rose's room. Edward's freaking out. He hasn't stopped running his hands through his hair and muttering under his breath since it happened."
"So let him know it's bothering you. You know it's just because of how much he loves you, Sweetie."
"I know," I sniffled, trying to calm down. "I really did want to go to your party."
"I know you did," Alice said sweetly.
"Esme's going to bring your gift for me. I really think you'll like it."
"I'm sure I'll love it, Bells. It's a gift from my best friend and my brother."
"And your nephew."
"Yes! We certainly can't forget my beautiful little nephew. I'm going to show off his picture to everyone at the party."
"Will you call me tonight and tell me all about it?"
"As if there was any question of that," Alice chuckled. "I love you, Bells. Stay in bed and recuperate, okay?"
"Love you, Alice."
"Talk to you tonight."
"Say 'hi' to Jasper for me."
"I will. Bye, Bells."
"Bye, Alice." I handed the phone back to Edward, barely stopping myself from growling at him when his hand made its way through his hair for the millionth time. "Edward, come sit down next to me, please. I want to talk to you."
He gave a sad smile and walked around the bed, gingerly sitting down.
"I'm not going to break, Edward. I know it might feel like that to you, but I swear I'm not. And I get that you're scared, but so am I, so every time you look at me with that haunted look in your eyes, I want to scream."
"I'm sorry, Bella. I'm trying."
"I know you are. I'm not fussing you, and I'm trying my best not to sound angry because I'm definitely not angry with you, but this is so…huge. Every emotion, every physical pain—it all feels bigger than me right now. I just…I need you to say it's all going to be okay, even if you're lying your ass off to me. I can't lie to myself when I feel this way, so I really need you to do it for me, because I know it won't always be a lie."
"What can I do?"
"Just come hold me, okay?"
He smiled for real and laid down next to me, careful of where he put his arms, and moved my head so it was resting on his arm. He kissed my cheek and then pressed his head to mine. "I love you so much."
"I love you, too. I'm so sorry I scared you today."
"I'm sorry I couldn't catch you."
"You had a baby in your arms," I reminded him, reaching up and tangling my fingers in his hair. I closed my eyes, relaxing to the sound of his even breathing against the side of my face. "I love you."
"I love you, too."
"You understand why I can't take those pain pills, right?"
"I'd be lying if I said 'yes'. But I can say that I respect your decision. You've decided this is something you need to do for yourself, and for Charlie."
"Edward, if…if there was going to be another ba—"
"Ssh," he whispered, tightening his arms around me. "I know. We don't need to say it or talk about it right now. Let's just lie here and hold each other, okay? We have plenty of time to talk about that later."
I was glad that he'd interrupted me; the last thing I needed right now was another reason to feel sad. I just wanted to lay here with Edward and Charlie and try to breath through the pain.
With the room being so quiet, it was easier than I'd expected to let go and fall asleep with Edward right next to me. It wasn't the most restful sleep since I could still feel my stomach throbbing, but it was better than being awake and thinking about the party I would be missing today.
The three of us woke up together a few hours later and Edward handled everything with Charlie while I tried my hardest not to be angry that I was once again just lying around like a useless lump.
I did have to hand it to Edward, though. He went above and beyond to try and make the day fun for me. For the rest of the day, he kept Charlie between us on the bed, getting him to play with his rattle and give out that baby chuckle he'd started doing the week before. It was impossible not to smile while listening to my little man's laughter.
Edward lifted up Charlie's little hand and pretended to bite it, getting another round of baby chuckles out of our little man. "You see that, Charlie? You made your mom smile again. I should put a dollar in your college fund every time you do that. You'll be able to afford college by the time you're six."
"That's a bit of an exaggeration, don't you think?" I asked, snorting at Edward a little.
"Possibly," he shrugged. He lifted up Charlie's shirt and pressed his lips to the baby's belly, blowing on Charlie's skin. Charlie laughed again, this time getting a fistful of Edward's coppery hair into his little hands.
"Look at you, little man," I cooed, trying to help free Edward. "You got a good hold of Daddy. Just try not to rip out any of his hair. Mommy likes his hair."
Just as Edward freed himself, his cell phone started ringing. He picked it up from the edge of the bed and answered it. "Hello? Oh, hi, Rose! How was the shower? Of course," he sighed, shaking his head.
"What's wrong?" I asked, letting Charlie grip a couple of my fingers.
"They were leaving Alice's party and realized she was in labor. They're taking her to the hospital," he explained to me. "Rose, is she okay?" he asked, turning his attention back to her. He nodded his head a couple of times and then grimaced. "I don't know, Rose."
"What's going on?" I asked him.
"Just a sec, Rose," he said before pressing the phone against his shirt. "Alice is fine so far, but she's asking for me."
"Then you have to go to her."
"Would you be okay with that? Emmett and Lily would come stay with you and the baby. And I would leave as soon as I could."
"No, don't be in a hurry. One of us should get to be there. And if she's asking for you, you have to go."
"Bella, are you sure? You know I don't mind telling her I need to stay with you."
"But you don't need to, Edward. I did need you this morning, but I'm feeling a lot better now. And besides, I haven't really been able to spend anytime with Emmett lately, so this will be nice."
"Alright, Love," he said, giving me a smile. He lifted up his phone, reaching out and taking Charlie's other hand at the same time. "Rose, tell Alice I'll be there as soon as Emmett can get over here to stay with Bella. Oh. Okay, then. If he's that close, then I should be at the hospital within twenty minutes or so. Okay. Give her my love, Rose. And Bella's too. See you soon." He ended the call and dropped the phone back to the bed. "And to think I thought when I woke this morning that it would be a lazy Saturday."
"You're a Cullen. There's no such thing as lazy in our family," I chuckled. "There's always something going on."
"Think you'll be okay with Charlie if I go jump in the shower really quick?" he asked.
"Yep. My little man and I will be just fine. But if you could lay him on my chest so I don't have to twist to pick him up, that would be a huge help."
"Sure," he replied with a smile. He lifted Charlie up, kissing him loudly on his cheek and getting another laugh. "I love you, little man. Take really good care of your mommy while I'm out."
"Okay, that's just insulting," I said, laughing a little. "You just put my nine week old son in charge of me."
"He's not as clumsy as you," Edward chuckled.
I gasped and slapped Edward's leg. "He can barely hold his head up without help!"
"Yes, but he doesn't trip when we walks across a perfectly flat surface."
"He doesn't walk at all," I pointed out.
"And if he did, he'd still do it without tripping."
"What makes you so sure about that, Cullen?" I asked, slightly annoyed with him.
Charlie's hand reached out and grabbed Edward's ear. Edward laughed and took the baby's hand into his, giving it a little kiss. "Because our son has great hand-eye coordination. He reaches for a body part and grabs it."
"Whatever," I grumbled. "Just give me my son and go get in the shower."
"Don't be upset, Love," Edward murmured as he kissed my neck. "We agreed we didn't want him to have your clumsiness."
"Yeah, but that doesn't mean you should tease me about it," I said. He passed Charlie to me and I made sure Charlie was looking right at him. "Charlie, that's Tutor-boy. When you can finally speak, I want you to say Tutor-boy. You can even say it before 'mommy' and I won't mind. Just look right at him and say 'Tutor-boy'."
"Nice," Edward snorted as he left the room. "Love you both."
"Bye, Tutor-boy!" I called out. I looked down at Charlie and smiled at my son. "He still hates that nickname, so no matter how bad he teases me, I always have a way to annoy him back."
"Annoy who?" Emmett's booming voice asked, scaring me a little.
"Edward," I replied. "You look good, Em. I can't believe you actually have a little of your tan left. Your trip was a month ago!"
"You look like crap," he said, sitting on the edge of the bed with Lily in his arms.
"Thank you, brother bear. It's great to have your love and support."
"Of course you have it, Squirt."
"Really? Because in the last nine weeks, I can count with three fingers how many times I've seen you. Now Rose and Lily have been by tons of times, but not you."
"I'm working," he said gruffly.
"Whatever," I sighed. He wasn't working that much. He was avoiding me—and I had no idea why. "Would you like to hold Charlie?" I asked him.
"Sure," he said right away, his normal goofy grin finally making an appearance. "Lily Bear, sit down next to Daddy so he can hold Charlie, okay?"
"Play toys," she said, pointing toward her toy box in the corner.
"Sure, baby girl," he told her, giving her a little kiss before letting her down. He leaned over and took Charlie from me, lying down on his back and holding Charlie up in the air. "Look at you, little man!" he said, smiling up at Charlie. "Getting big already. You're going to come be a linebacker for me when you grow up, aren't you? Gonna be built like your Uncle Em and not that scrawny daddy of yours."
"Em," I warned. "Edward is not scrawny."
"Sure, Squirt," Emmett chuckled. He brought his arms down so that he touched noses with Charlie and then lifted the baby up quickly, getting Charlie to giggle.
"Not so rough," I said, not liking the speed Emmett was using.
"Relax, Squirt. I did this almost every day with Lily. The worst that ever happened was I got a face full of baby spit-up from doing it too soon after she ate." He turned his head toward me, looking a little worried. "How long ago did he eat?"
"You're safe," I chuckled. "In fact, he should be getting hungry in about another twenty minutes," I added, looking at the clock.
"I got dibs on feeding him," Emmett called out, lowering Charlie down again. "Ain't that right, buddy boy? You want your Uncle Em to give you your bottle."
"And you get diaper duty along with that," I informed him.
"Yeah, I heard about your spill," he mentioned, keeping his eyes on Charlie as he lifted him back into the air.
"Bewwa," Lily called, scrambling up onto the bed with me.
"Hey, Lily Bear," I said, pulling her close for a kiss. "Did you have fun at Uncle Jasper's today?"
She nodded her hair, tossing her curls everywhere. "Big house."
"I've heard. I was going to see it tonight, but I'll have to see it some other time. I'm glad you had fun."
"Daddy play baby," she said, pointing toward Emmett and Charlie.
"That's right. He's playing with Charlie."
"I play baby?"
"Not yet," I chuckled. "When he's older."
"Blocks?" she asked, offering me a purple one.
"Thank you, Lily Bear. Purple is one of my favorites."
"Bella, I'm going to head out now," Edward said as he came into the room. "Do you need me to get you anything or do anything for you before I go?"
"Just give me a kiss goodbye, promise to be safe, and give Alice my love," I told him.
"I can do that," he said with a smile. He leaned down and kissed my lips tenderly, and then moved them up to my forehead to plant a kiss there as well. "I promise to be safe and come home to you as soon as I can."
"Alright, you can go now," I said, pushing his arm a little. "I love you."
"I love you, too," he said, kissing me once more before turning his attention to Emmett.
Emmett sat up and held Charlie out to Edward. "I figure you want say bye to this little man, too," Emmett chuckled.
"Absolutely," Edward replied, taking Charlie into his arms and cuddling him close. "Be a good boy for your mommy. I'll be back soon." He pressed his lips to Charlie's head and smiled as he kissed his son. "Emmett, there are a couple of bottles in the fridge. If you could heat one up in about fifteen minutes, that would be a huge help."
"No problemo, Eddie. I've totally got this," Emmett said as he took Charlie back.
"Thank you. And don't call me Eddie."
"Ehwor!" Lily cried, jumping up and down in front of Edward.
He laughed and picked her up, kissing her cheek. "I'm sorry, Lily Bear, but I can't play right now. Aunt Alice is having the twins and I have to go see her."
"Amice?" Lily asked, cocking her head to the side just like her father did from time to time.
"Yep. Be good and I'll see you later, Sweetheart," he said, putting her down on the floor. He looked over at me with those emerald eyes of his, giving me a little smile. "Bye, Love."
"Bye, Honey. Give Alice a huge hug from me."
"I will." He turned and finally left the room, still looking torn between wanting to stay here and wanting to be there for Alice. I knew the minute he saw his sister, he would realize he was making the right choice. And Alice deserved to have whoever she wanted there with her while giving birth.
A couple of hours later, Edward called to tell us Alice was fine and out of surgery. The c-section had gone well and she was already resting in her room. The babies were five weeks early, but both of them were breathing on their own and seemed to be doing just fine.
"So what did she name them?" Emmett asked as I hung up the phone with Edward. We were hanging out in the kitchen since the kids were both asleep. Lily was crashed out on the sofa and Charlie was in the crib in Em and Rose's room.
"Your new little niece is Elizabeth Esme Genevieve Hale, and your nephew is Brandon Carlisle Thomas Hale."
"Four names?" Emmett cried. "She actually gave her kids four names? What is she? A celebrity?"
"She's Alice," I chuckled. "You didn't really expect her to give her children plain names, did you?"
"Man, those kids are going to have carpal tunnel by the second grade," he said, shaking his head.
"I doubt any teacher would be cruel enough to make them write their full name," I said.
"I don't know. Some of my teachers were pretty mean."
"Only because you pulled pranks and disrupted their classes," I laughed.
"I was framed," he said, smiling at me.
"Come on, innocently guilty clown. Walk with me upstairs so I can get a clean shirt from my room. The baby drooled on this one."
"Just tell me what shirt you want and I'll go grab it," he replied.
My hands went to my hips as I glared at my brother. "Emmett, I'm going up those stairs. Now, you can walk with me, or you can deal with Edward when I tell him you wouldn't come along."
"You are so damn stubborn," he grumbled, getting up from his chair.
"I'm not a baby, Emmett. I can go upstairs for one shirt."
"Just like you could go from the bathroom to the bed without nearly knocking yourself out."
I spun around on him, so full of anger that he actually took a step back from me. "Stop it," I warned him.
"Alright," he said, lifting up his hands. "No need to get huffy, Squirt. You've just been standing for the last half hour, so I'm trying to make sure you don't wear yourself out."
I ignored him, continuing up the stairs with him right behind me. I made it into my room without upsetting my stomach too much and headed into the closet, pulling the door a little behind me. I found one of Edward's t-shirts and changed into it, loving the way it smelled of him. I wanted him to be with Alice, but I was also really starting to miss him.
I came out of the closet and found Emmett sitting on the edge of the bed, kicking his foot against the footboard. "Em, why have you been avoiding me?" I asked, leaning against the doorframe for support.
He lifted his face, but his eyes didn't come all the way up. "What are you talking about, Squirt? I've just been busy."
I crossed my arms in front of me and smirked at him. "Liar. You never could lie to me worth a damn."
"Rosie neither," he grumbled, probably thinking I wouldn't hear it.
"Oh, so she noticed too, then?"
"What do you want me to say, Bells?"
"The truth, Emmett."
"Fine," he said, lifting up his head and puffing out his chest a little. "I didn't know what to say."
"Who said you had to say something? You could have just come over to spend time with me. Maybe watch a movie with me. Give me a hug and let me know you still love me."
"Don't be an idiot, Bella. Of course I still love you."
"Then why do you suddenly want nothing to do with me? Even tonight, you were all about Charlie, but you hardly spoke to me or even looked at me."
"I feel weird, okay? You almost died and it's taking a long time for you to get back to yourself and I don't know how to deal with you when you're all weak and shit."
"You don't know how to deal?" I asked, getting angry at him. "You don't know how to deal? Thanks for that, Emmett. I'm so sorry I've inconvenienced you with my health issues. In fact, why don't you just go downstairs, get your daughter, and take your ass home. I would hate to ruin anymore of your fun."
He rolled his eyes at me. "Bella, don't be stupid. I'm not leaving and you aren't ruining my fun. I'm sorry I can't be as good at this as Edward and Jasper are, okay? I just…I don't know how to not think about you dying when I see you all weak like this. I don't know how to not feel guilty that you got the crappy the hand and I didn't."
"Right," I said sarcastically. "All those other times you plastered a smile on your face and pretended everything was great, and for me, you can't do that."
"That's right," he yelled, standing up and taking a step towards me. "An argument with the guys, or a spat with Rosie…that shit's nothing, Bella. You…you almost dying and leaving me alone…there's no pretending that doesn't rip my heart out, Isabella. I thought you would understand that."
"Maybe I would have if you'd said something sooner," I yelled back, crying now.
"Again! Tell me what the fuck I was supposed to say to you and I'll say it!"
"I didn't want you to say anything! I just wanted you around!" I screamed, grabbing something from Edward's dresser and throwing it at Emmett. "I wanted you to be my big brother and let me know you still loved me. That only part of my life ended!" I added, tossing a few more things at him.
"Quit it, Bella."
"No, you quit it!" I yelled, finally hitting him with something. "I lost the ability to ever have another child growing inside of me. I can't be a real mother to my son. I scared my husband so bad that he has to be forced to leave the house without me. And every day, a new first happens that I have to miss and I will never ever get back, or get to experience with another child. And on top of all of that shit, you pull away from me because you can't handle it. You know what, Emmett? FUCK YOU!"
His teeth clacked together and he lumbered towards me—I flinched, thinking he might actually hit me for the first time since we were little kids. Instead, he wrapped his big arms around me and held on so tightly that it actually hurt a little. But I wasn't about to tell him to stop. He hadn't hugged me in over nine weeks and I wasn't letting him get away with some wimpy hug.
"Ssh, Squirt," he said, rocking me in his arms. "Stop crying, okay? I'm sorry and I should have listened to Rosie and Alice weeks ago. I'm sorry I'm an ass. Just stop crying, please."
I don't know how long we stood there like that, but I did know that my legs were starting to get that jelly feeling. I was so lost in the tears, and the pain, and the anger, that I didn't even realize Emmett had picked me up until he was setting me on the bed downstairs.
Emmett passed his big hand over my hair, wiping away my tears with his other hand. "Squirt, I have to get Charlie, okay? I'll come back and sit with you as soon as I clean him up and change him."
"Alright," I sniffled, using Edward's shirt to finish wiping my face.
I still wasn't sure exactly why I'd blown up at Emmett that way, but I knew I was still extremely angry. All of the things I was missing…all of the things I'd never do again that I'd taken for granted the first time…It was like they were all bags of sand, sitting on me and crushing me beneath them. If this was the anger Esme had been warning me about, I'd been right all along to be scared of this. It felt like there was no way to push it down or away, or even to calm it. It was here and it wanted to come out—and it didn't seem to care who it lashed out at.
I heard noises in the hall and could easily pick out Edward's smooth voice. I assumed Emmett was filling him on my melt-down. And he'd come in here, giving me that worried look, and I'd probably lose it on him too. This was not the way I wanted to spend my Saturday night…Maybe if I closed my eyes and stayed really still, maybe Edward would think I was sleeping. If it avoided my anger getting loose and starting a pointless fight, it would be worth it.
I pulled the blanket up, closed my eyes, and hoped to hell I could act good enough to get Edward to believe I was sleeping.
We haven't had a big brother-little sister fight in a long time and I think they were both overdue for one. We'll find out Saturday what Edward thinks of their fight and if Bella's anger goes after him, too. On the plus side, once she goes through this, things will start to get a lot better for her and for her relationship with Edward. Hope everyone has a great Sunday and a great week!