New Asgard, way back when
Bliss.
If he had known intimate intercourse as newly-engaged people deeply in love would be this phenomenal, he would have asked Loki to marry him a long time ago. More than once in the course of the night he had had to reinforce the wards around their room so as to not wake their son and the whole of Asgard with the cosmic explosion of their repeated coupling.
He turned his head to look at his fiancé lying an arm span away next to him. He stretched out and lightly traced his finger along the side of Loki's upper arm. Loki did not flinch.
Stephen chuckled to himself. For all his stamina and insatiability and raucous debauchery within the privacy of their bedroom, once his Ice Prince was spent, he melted.
God he hoped he had not gotten Loki pregnant.
As Loki lay dead to the world in post-coital stupor, his long, lean body, deliciously tangled in silk sheets, reminded Stephen of a Quality Street toffee on a Christmas day, and the sheer thrill that the imagery sent coursing through his body was intense.
Then again, Loki being pregnant again was not the worst thing that could happen. Most definitely not.
That was it. Stephen was waking him up.
He twisted his body to reach for his fiancé, fully intent on rousing Loki despite risking his royal wrath, but the abrupt movement sent sudden shooting pains through his entire abdomen, and Stephen let out an involuntary cry.
"Stephen?" The sheets rustled as Loki shifted under the covers; cool fingers soon wrapped themselves around the inner bend of his elbow.
"What's the matter?" He heard Loki murmur drowsily.
Loki's green eyes narrowed as they caught sight of Stephen's arm wrapped protectively around his midsection. "Is your stomach hurting again?"
"Some." He gritted his teeth.
Loki let out something between a grunt and a mewl in displeasure.
"Did we – " Loki hesitated, his forehead creasing in as much guilt as concern. "Did we overdo it?"
Stephen laughed. "No, my dear, at most I just pulled a muscle or something. And it was totally worth it."
The horror on Loki's face was only something Stephen had ever seen once or twice ever since he knew him. It was the terrified look Loki could not hide when occasionally Stephen's human body reminded him of his fiancé's mortality and as much as Stephen wanted to downplay Loki's irrational fears, he just did not have the heart.
"Hey. I'm okay, really." He patted Loki's hand reassuringly. "It will pass. It always does."
Loki still looked stricken. "Stomach pains can be a sign of a heart attack in a human. I read it somewhere when I was researching all the possible ways you could die, other than the usual death by dragons and accidental splicing of the body from time travel accidents."
O-kay. What a tangent. But,
"It's true." Stephen shrugged his shoulders. Man, he really should defuse this, Loki was seconds away from bursting into tears – "It's not a heart attack, Loki."
"How would you know?" Loki sniffed furiously.
"Because…I'm a human and I have a medical degree?" He tried appealing to Loki's logic. "And besides people who get such atypical symptoms of heart attacks are usually diabetics or the very old, and I am neither."
Loki was having none of it. "I don't want to wake up tomorrow morning with a dead body next to me in my bed. I don't want to be left a widower so soon just because the wrong parent died and have to raise a baby on my own, doubting everything I do and every decision I make."
As vulgar and as dark as Loki's words and thoughts were respectively, Stephen could not help but feel very warmed inside. "Loki –"
"Also, it would ruin my marriage prospects."
Stephen's stomach hurt even worse now. He groaned both in pain and displeasure alike.
All senses of impending doom seemingly abandoned in favour of Stephen's wellbeing, Loki was all over him in an instant, his hand anxiously searching for the source of pain. Warm, gentle seidr soon soothed the cramping sensations and Stephen began to relax as his bowels ceased to spasm.
"You're fully healed inside," Loki said somewhat suspiciously. He did not understand why Stephen was still getting pains.
"Some degree of visceral hypersensitivity can remain for an indefinite period of time after any insult," Stephen murmured. "Usually happens post-surgery or infection, but I'm guessing it can happen post-voodoo attacks too."
Loki stared at him frostily. He asked the one thing that mattered. "I don't know what that means but can it kill you or can it not?"
"No, it can't."
At the disbelieving look on Loki's face, Stephen placed his own hand over Loki's. "It won't. It will go away with time, as long as I take it easy."
"You should have let me ride you," Loki groused.
Stephen tried to hide his smile under a wince, "And miss out on this?"
"Ever heard of role plays, Doctor? You don't need to be in real pain to get my attention, you know."
"Oh I don't know, Loki. The things you say sometimes make me wonder…" Wait a minute. "Role plays?"
Loki gave him an evil glare. "Don't push it."
Clearly still tired, Loki collapsed next to him and snuggled his head through the crook of Stephen's arm, his hand still dispensing numbing magic all over Stephen's midriff.
"Thank you, Loki." He planted a soft kiss on top of Loki's head.
"Just returning the favour," Loki murmured sleepily. "My hands are magic too, you know."
Stephen played with the ends of Loki's hair at the base of his skull. He was starting to miss Loki's long hair, at least there would have been more of it to play with.
"Everything about you is magic, Loki."
"Hmm."
Yep. Stephen was never cutting Loki's hair again. He would never put him at risk again.
"Pain's gone. You can sleep now, Loki."
"In a minute."
Stephen waited until the minute was up.
"I love you."
Loki did not answer, having already drifted off once more, but from the way his hand was still emanating the gentle warmth of seidr even in sleep…
Stephen had never felt so blessed, for perhaps Loki really loved him too.
New Asgard, present time
Stephen awoke with a startle to a sudden beeping sound, faint yet seeming to demand urgent attention, judging from the incessant flashing of the alarm indicator. "Loki?"
Loki had not moved. It was just the pulse oximeter that had slipped off the end of his finger. Stephen leaned forward to refasten it.
Stephen looked at the clock. It was ten in the evening, and the activity in the healing halls had died down somewhat; it was Stephen himself who had dismissed most of them for the night, now that Loki was safely delivered and out of immediate danger.
Christine had offered to stay with him but by the order of the King, she had gone to rest in one of the rooms provided for royal guests, having only done so very reluctantly with the explicit order that Stephen were to call her immediately at the first sign of deterioration.
"Your Highness?"
Stephen turned. He never liked to be addressed as such, this girl must be new –
He looked down at the item the Healer apprentice was holding in her palm. He recognised the pouch as the one the Healers used to hold personal items for patients under their care, and from the style, it was one meant for the royal family.
"This was found in Prince Loki's possession when we prepared him earlier for extubation." She hesitated. "We would have returned it sooner had we not only just realised what he was holding in his hand, we could not extricate it prior to his surgery for he was gripping it so tightly in the throes of seizure."
"Thank you," he said numbly. The girl curtsied hastily before scurrying away in a hurry.
Stephen tipped the object out onto his palm.
He stared at it. And closed his eyes against the sudden pain in his heart.
"Were you trying to get to me, Loki?"
Stephen ran his fingers over the smooth edge of the sling ring. The gold felt heavy and cold in his palm, its weight trebling the pain raging through his very soul.
"Why won't you answer me?"
Was it too much to ask? That Loki should be able to answer him?
"What would you do in my position, I wonder?" he pondered, but The Ancient One remained silent, as silent as her ring in his hand. "Where would you go to bargain?"
He could see her so clearly in his mind's eye, could even hear her response, "Where would I not go?" She would say with that half-smirk, half-genuine smile on her face.
Stephen reached for Loki's hand and balled it into a fist in his own. The hard edge of the sling ring indented the white skin of Loki's knuckles, but Stephen ignored it, maybe if Loki were to feel a bit of pain, he would wake up – would open his eyes again and look at him and say something sharp and bitey and Stephen would just smile and kiss him right in that smart mouth of his –
But Loki remained sleeping.
There used to be nothing Stephen loved more than the sight of Loki sleeping, the sharp, hard lines of his face relaxed in peaceful slumber.
Now…there was nothing Stephen hated more.
He held their balled hands to his forehead. The cold of the sling ring bit more into his skin, much more than the dry coolness of Loki's skin.
Where do I go to bargain?
New Asgard, way back when
"Where will we have it?"
"Hmm?"
"The wedding?"
"Here of course." Loki gestured for Stian to raise his arms. Stian followed, and Loki pulled a jumper over his son's head. "Can't deprive the people of the Royal Wedding of the century."
"Thor's backing out of the deal with the Council, says he's not going to be bullied into the marriage bed of some woman he doesn't love," he continued viciously, toning it down a little as Stian's head emerged from the collar and he blew Stian's hair out of his eyes, eliciting many a happy giggle.
Stephen winced but did not say anything. Loki caught it nonetheless.
"What is it?"
"It's not going to be like one of those awful, sordid affairs that gets broadcast all over the world, is it?" The look on Stephen's face was one of someone who had just eaten something foul. "With all the pageantry and handwaving and whatnot?"
The look of abject horror on Loki's face was something to behold. "Let's elope, Stephen."
"I have a suspicion that would be treason punishable by death…" Thor did not put it in those exact words but Stephen kinda got the gist.
Loki was not listening. "We're eloping."
"Hey, hey. No panicking allowed, remember?"
"It hasn't been announced yet, there's still time –"
Stephen dropped down onto the edge of the bed and circled his arms around his fiancé and their son.
"It can be as big or as small as you want it, Loki."
Loki moaned. "Why did I have to be a prince?"
"Uh, it beats being a commoner surely…"
"Not by a mile." Loki bared his teeth. "You have no idea what they're going to make you wear, do you?"
"Stop making scary faces, you're going to make Stian cry." Stephen swallowed. "W-What do you mean, what am I going to have to wear?"
Loki pursed his lips and studied him, before running his eyes down the length of Stephen's body. "Hmm. You might actually look good in it."
Stephen covered Stian's ears, and hissed. "Whatever I end up wearing, or not wearing, will it leave anything to the imagination?"
Loki drew his lips back as if to say 'Eep.'
Stephen drew back in horror. "We're going to Vegas. Now."
Loki only threw his head back and laughed.
New Asgard, present time
"Did you sleep out here all night?"
Stephen nodded at the small cot at one corner of the room. "Couldn't get comfortable."
He watched with bleary eyes as Christine pulled the curtain around them to begin her examination; she flashed her light into Loki's eyes, before proceeding to conduct a full neurological examination.
"Everything's normal," Stephen mumbled. "I've checked."
"I know you have," she said softly. She was done reviewing her patient but was still holding his hand in her lap, her frown one of confusion and incomprehension. "There's no reason why he should still be in a coma."
After a beat,
"No clinical reason," he corrected her. His voice was flat and subdued.
She looked at him sharply. Realisation dawned on her that this was something beyond her field of expertise. "What are you going to do?"
Stephen did not answer.
"I'm going to see to our daughter and let Loki hold her for a while."
Her eyes softened. "Do you want me to get her for you?"
The gratitude in his tired eyes tugged on the strings of her heart. "I'll get them to send you something to eat. You haven't had anything since yesterday, have you?"
"I'm not hungry."
"No one is, Stephen." Christine laid Loki's hand gently down on the bed and stood. "That's not what I asked."
Stephen barely felt the warmth of her arms as she hugged him tightly from behind for a few seconds before she left.
Loki looked cold. Now that he was breathing on his own, Stephen should be free to kiss him as much as he wanted but something about Loki's cold, unresponsive lips stopped him every time; it was Loki he wanted to kiss, not an empty shell.
He must have day-dreamed for minutes on end for a cot suddenly appeared next to him, jarring him out of his reverie. "I'll give you guys some privacy."
"Thanks, Christine." She squeezed his shoulder and left.
Stephen carefully lifted his baby girl out of the cot. At barely five pounds she was a tiny little thing, so fragile yet so, so beautiful.
Stephen kissed the sleeping Aífe's forehead gently, savouring her sweet, newborn smell. The magic in this one was strong too, just like Stian –
Stian had been the one to bring Loki around the last time, perhaps this time it would be no different. He was going to put Aífe in Loki's arm and Loki was going to open his eyes and everything… everything would go back to normal. Stephen was sure of it.
Stephen placed her slowly on his husband's chest, her head fitting nicely into the crook of Loki's neck. She stirred only momentarily, before settling down again, her little fingers curling around the neckline of Loki's gown.
And Stephen waited.
He waited until his chest felt near bursting from not breathing; he waited until tears filled his eyes and blurred his vision
He could feel it coming, the delusion, the irrational thoughts
For Loki did not wake.
They should have stopped after Stian.
Crazy thought after crazy thought raced through his mind with nothing to stop them, not even the tears cascading silently in a freefall down his face.
He had been the one who wanted more children.
Stephen reached to caress Aífe's head, the precious gift Loki had given him
He should have seen this coming.
The Sorcerer Supreme who could peek into a million futures and who looked into his own future and saw the countless ways this could have gone terribly wrong from the very beginning, but insisted on it anyway because he was
nothing but a selfish, selfish human
"Loki." The tears kept on falling and he let them. No one was watching anyway.
"Loki, wake up."
Please.
A/N: Please don't kill me.
Any feedback is loved and welcome!