AN: Well, this was a doozy of a chapter to write. This was probably the most writing I've done for a single chapter in a long time. My manuscript projects included. For those of you who've been waiting for more, I thank you, truly, for your patience. It's been a hell of a time trying to balance both my writing hobby with College and everything else I'm trying to do in my life. I finish this when my anxiety is at its highest due to the election, COVID, and numerous other things.
Just to keep you guys updated, my passion for this story hasn't vanished the least bit. However, my free time to write it has diminished considerably. For reference, this update is about thirty pages which is normally about two to three weeks of work for me not counting the time I have to take and re-read and edit. It's taken me about two months to get through this. (And the last week has been editing and re-reading.)
This chapter is really heavy on the slow burn, so if that's not your thing I apologize. But as always, comments are welcomed whether it's criticism or just telling me what you love about the story and its chapters. Seriously, both do a hell of a lot for encouragement to keep pushing ahead. So without further Ado, here's Chapter 3: Bathing With Alter
They turned the power off to everything in the pool's designated area before they left. The two of them were hidden beneath layers of towels as they made their way upstairs, all of Alter's gear tucked under their arms. She couldn't carry everything, without having to go through the motions of strapping everything back on. Though he was admittedly curious as to why she'd tucked her head underneath a towel like a hood.
That was until Ritsuka spotted Marie and Jeanne D'Arc talking with Mordred. Marie had empty bags underarms and said their goodbyes to Mordred at the front desk. She grabbed Jeanne by the hand, leading her out the front door.
He felt a slight tug onto his towel, and he glanced over his shoulder.
Alter had a frown on her face, but was tucking herself next to the wall, half bent down behind him, trying to keep herself out of sight. A flush filled her cheeks more when he turned to stare at her.
Ritsuka coughed and gave a nod. "They've left," He reached down and grabbed her hand again. "Come on let's go before anyone else starts to ask questions." So he took the lead, doing his best to be an expedient guide for the hunched over, somewhat incognito Alter behind him. Though he was certain that the sword he was carrying in his hand was a dead give away.
Not to mention while she thinks she's going unnoticed, the way she's acting, hunched over, is already attracting attention.
Mordred and Jekyll sent the pair of them a wave. The former even added a thumbs up. A gesture that made him blush in turn. Thankfully, Alter didn't see it.
Alter stumbled with the keycard to get into the room, her lip twisting only for a moment until the door finally clicked that it was unlocked. She stepped into the room dropping her towel into the heaping mess on the floor beside the front door.
Ritsuka raised an eyebrow.
Her smile edged out just a bit of sadism. "Something for the maid."
At first, he didn't react standing there silently combing the images of all the maids in his mind. Then it hit him. He huffed a small chuckle. "Just because you despise her, doesn't mean you should invite her in challenge."
Alter huffed waving him off, dropping the rest of her clothes into a different smaller heap, onto the bed. There was a small frown that touched her lips then as she stared at her bed.
Ritsuka stared at his still wet mystic code, something he should probably wash he realized.
The last thing I need is to smell like chlorine the entire night.
He pushed open the door to the restroom expecting a simple bath and shower similar to the one from his room with Robin. It wasn't that at all. With how much time he'd spent working in Alter's room, he often forgot it was technically a suite. Her restroom was an instant reminder. The bath was more akin to an expensive jacuzzi, and the shower was just as equally impressive, a thin glass door, an ornate shower head.
"Hey!" Alter's voice cut through his shower thoughts. "Go shower in your own room," She spun on her heel and grabbed a fresh towel.
It was the first option he'd considered. Ritsuka frowned as he shot that option down in his own head. Robin had been very specific about tonight before he left for dinner. It was actually the main reason why he hadn't ordered room service earlier.
Robin had asked if he could have the room to himself for a while.
Ritsuka glanced towards the door imagining the walk back to his room. His lip twitched as he tried to think. His sister was always better at putting those pieces together better than he had. "Ibaraki." He muttered.
Maybe he's getting sick of the loops too, and was looking for something to change it up a bit?
He started to turn red. "Damn it sis, you always put stuff in my head."
Movement caught his eyes as Jeanne Alter perfectly positioned herself in his line of sight. "Hey, are you even listening?" She tilted her head a bit, annoyance starting to peek across her features.
But she'd gotten his attention back.
He coughed, "There...might be a slight problem with that." He avoided her eyes for only a moment while he scratched the back of his head. "Robin wanted the room to himself tonight," and then he met her gaze. "And by that, I think I mean he's going to be busy."
Alter's eyes narrowed, "So?" She huffed a bit. "So are we,"
"Not that kind of busy we aren't." He turned a shade redder. "He's busy with company," his placement of emphasis, he hoped, would allow her to complete the puzzle.
Her amber eyes seemed to stare blankly at him, then instantly she went rigid, her cowlick bouncing as she straightened, a blush filling her cheeks. "Oh. I...Oh." She looked off the side, trying to half cover her face. "I mean I guess...that…" She blinked, her eyes narrowed and she whirled back around, her blush gone as quickly as it had come.
Berserker insanity. I wish I could change my emotional gears that fast.
"Wait a minute, when did you plan on going back?" Her eyes started to widen, and she placed a hand on her hip.
There was a beat of quiet in the space between them. "I...wasn't?" He almost winced as it came out. "I mean to say that, he was working so hard to corral all of us, and keep everything organized that I thought he deserved some time to relax and to himself."
"And where were you planning to sleep?" She shifted again, edging closer like she was cornering him.
"Nowhere." He huffed a small laugh and scratched the back of his head. "Honestly, I wasn't planning on sleeping at all. Figured after dinner I would just walk the evening streets of the city, and do all the touristy things I normally don't have time to do."
"Idiot." She muttered, "What made you think that was such a good idea? There are plenty of other rooms and other servants that would've been willing to share a room with you." Her blush was light. "But let me guess, you didn't want to bother them did you?"
"Not really.." He admitted. "Not to mention it's already crowded in most rooms. Like things are for big events like Servfest. Mash, Ushiwakamaru, and you are all bunking together." He shook his head a bit. "Look, that's beside the point. Can I just borrow your shower?" His blush was given no chance to fade, at their proximity.
She'd taken a step closer, and now that she was no longer wearing that black jacket to top her outfit off, Alter looked even more exposed, and there were no stars to distract them or lukewarm pool water between them. "I need to hand wash my bathing suit, and I don't exactly have access to anything else." Alter's hand twitched then she gestured to him. "Since you guys had the spare space in your room…everything's in there."
This is it, this is how I'm going to die. My eyes accidentally finding something they shouldn't have, and a noble phantasm to send me to whatever plain of existence that comes afterward.
Ritsuka winced at that. "I don't have anything else either." He commented. "As I said, not like I can just waltz back in there with earning a few poison darts." He glanced to the side. "Or whatever Ibarki's packing this time around."
Then there was quiet as they thought the situation at hand over once again. But once again, Ritsuka's mouth started speaking before his brain could stop him. "Look, seeing as we are both intent on taking a shower, why not just do it together?"
Damn it all! This is what EMIYA is constantly warning me about. Use your head before you speak!
And as the blush rose to fill both of them, he couldn't help but wonder if Chaldea's master chef had some personal experience in being a dunce once upon a time. Or maybe he knew one?
It's hard to imagine him as one.
Alter's blush had filled her cheeks, she had even backed up a step giving some much-needed space two the inches that had separated them. She had held out a hand out towards the center of his chest like she wanted to touch it. It twitched with the motion and froze halfway up.
Fuck, how do I talk myself out of that? A bath would be better right? Longer, but she could hide underneath bubbles? WAIT NO, the point is to avoid the bath- Fuck- Shower all together, not think of excuses for us to share a bath!
Right?
"F-fINE!" She finally managed to sputter, she took a step forward. "Idiot." She hugged herself with folded arms. "I mean...I guess it shouldn't be a problem." Amber eyes flicked to him, then away to the ground. Then her eyes narrowed again. "But just don't go looking for-"
Ritsuka held up his hands in surrender and backed up a pace as well. "I won't, I won't, I promise." He scratched the back of his head.
Was that agreement?!
Alter held up a finger, "T-that doesn't solve our change of clothes problem." She gestured to herself. "I don't know about you, but changing out of our chlorine clothes for a shower only to put them back on after…" She trailed off.
He fell silent unsure of how to comfort her there. Then an idea struck him, something that would save them both from utter embarrassment. He was still red, his voice came out more airy than it usually was. "We can take a bath with our clothes on in the tub?"
She opened her mouth and then closed it, her fingers curling into a fist at her side. Though he could see her whole arm twitch. Her lips pressed together, her face still red. Restraint he noted, a restraint that she was trying to keep her sputtering response down.
Leave all the embarrassment of this conversation to me. I did walk into this mess.
Ritsuka took that as his opportunity, and slowly worked his way out from the six-foot hole in the ground he'd dug himself, onto the apparent ice shelf that surrounded said plot of land. "We can wash our clothes...wearing them on us, in the bath," He grew slightly more confident now at his suggestion. "And this way you could be doubly sure about certain things," Then the confidence faded while a certain image flooded his mind. "The bubbles will hide…you know…" He trailed off.
Alter had remained red at his words, staring in silence. Until finally her voice came back, something closer to her normal drawl. "Fine," she repeated.
#
HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?
She glanced over her shoulder, her master Ristuka standing awkwardly at the other end of the bathroom.
He was caught staring and he reflexively looked away.
She whipped her head back around too, turning red, and immediately returned back to the task at hand. Alter tried desperately to remember the directions Mash had shown her on how to turn the bathtub on, the massage jets, and the bubbles. "Come on," she muttered to herself.
All I wanted was some time alone with master for us to work on the doujin. But why is the night turning out like this?
You didn't have to agree?
She ground her teeth and whispered harshly to herself. "Fine, that was admittedly a mistake on my part." Her amber eyes flicked over her shoulder again and this time, thankfully, their eyes didn't meet again.
Master had apparently found the floor much more interesting.
Alter blew out a small breath of relief.
Idiot. Why did he even suggest something like this in the first place?
Alter finally got the water turned on as her thoughts continued to race. It pulled her attention back to the task at hand.
Okay... the heat was to the right?
She edged it over just a bit so that the handle had crossed somewhat over into the red. But not too far. In fact, she preferred it closer to the cooler side of things. Something lukewarm like the pool. But admittedly, now that she was washing her clothes in the bath too.
Her eyes flicked over to Ritsuka. He looked away again.
Her lip twitched. She wanted the bath to be a little warmer than she preferred. She stood up and walked around to the other side of the tub. Alter had to wait till the water was at a certain level before activating the jets.
She locked her neck to the point where she could feel the strain and tension now. Alter forced herself to focus on the rising water level. Challenging herself to time the jets perfectly. The mini-challenge provided just enough of a distraction to avoid looking up. Even as she saw her master move out of the corner of her eye.
He paused at the other end of the tub, leaving a temporary obstacle in between them, He shoved his hands into the pockets of his trunks. He looked around, trying as he always did, to make himself useful.
In the corner of her eye, she noted how calming the quiet was for him. Nothing so awkward left to penetrate that silence that was now sitting firmly between them.
Perhaps we are both afraid of breaking it now?
Alter's eyes narrowed, erasing her master from the corner of her eye. Her lips twitched into a small frown.
Or maybe he's fond of the quiet? Something I, most definitely, am not…
She squeezed her eyes shut for only a moment, trying not to think about it. Through her gloves, she could feel her nails digging into her palms, as she clenched her fists just out of Ritsuka's sight, should he have chosen that moment to look at her.
Shut up.
When her eyes opened again, her expression was one that almost mirrored Ritsuka's. Calm. She loosed the tension in her fingers, uncurling her clenched fists. Her face relaxed too, and it was his turn to spare him a full glance.
The slight small, calming smile, was enough for her to feel the corners of her lips turn upwards too.
Finally, Alter turned the massaged jets on, the tub now, about half full. She stood back up opening and closing her gloved hands, feeling the material stretch over her flexed fingers. Finally, she was the one to break the small quiet between them. She spoke as delicately as she had when she'd asked him what was wrong at the pool. It had come out just awkwardly for her as it had then like she wasn't sure she was doing something correctly. "There are some big soap bottles underneath the sink."
It was a simple suggestion.
As if an evil dragon witch could be someone who's...understanding.
SHUT UP!
She twitched, and instead focused on his blue eyes as they rose from the tub to meet her.
His smile widened, "Got it," He turned and went to the other edge of the room. The sink was a double sink, meant for the couple's suite that Berserker shared with Ushiwakamura and Mashu.
Thankfully, her master was at least smart enough to avoid commenting on that double sink. A small detail her mind had actually managed to prepare a response for. He returned with a big soap bottle in hand.
Her smile widened as she folded her arms, and gave a gesture for him to continue. She peeled the gloves off her fingers and laid them over the edge of the tub. Then she stepped over to the rim of the tube, and let her foot sink into the bath. Alter hummed thoughtfully.
Too warm.
She glanced at Ritsuka, her master now pouring soap into the tub. He followed it up by swirling his hands, in an effort to speed it up. He set the bottle nearby, on his side of the tub so that they could add more if necessary.
But it's probably the perfect temperature for him.
Alter stepped over the rim so both of her feet were on the tub's smooth almost porcelain-like surface. The water would be up to above her shin once it was full. She stretched her toes beneath the surface, trying to adjust to the water's temperature.
The water churned from her master's side of the bath, as Ritsuka stepped in as well. He adjusted much quicker, he sat himself down on the other side of the bath facing her. Immersing himself all the way up to his neck, just as bubbles started to form. A small smile touched his lips as he did, his fingers pushing off the bottom of the tub, adjusting himself comfortably to lean back against the tub's walls.
She got down onto her knees soaking the rest of her legs. Amber eyes flicked over to Ritsuka, as she swung her hair around over her shoulders, making sure to spread it out in the water, freeing it from the small tails she normally kept it tied to behind her head. It needed to be washed thoroughly to be free of chlorine.
"Sorry for making you angry earlier." He said.
Water dripped from her arms back into the tub as she straightened out her loosened hair. Alter blinked. "I'm not-" She forced herself to pause, taking a long breath. "I wasn't angry." Next, she lowered her back in, sitting on the back of her knees. Water now coming up just beneath her bra. She bit her lip to hide her discomfort.
Just a bit too warm.
Ritsuka was silent and let himself sink beneath the rising soap bubbles. He popped up again with hair wetted down, some soap sticking to his face. He reached over and grabbed one of the shower hoses, on the side of the bath and rinsed down his face, his eyes still squeezed shut. He opened them again, only once he was certain that he'd cleared away the soap.
Alter moved her legs from under her finally, and leaned her back against her side of the tub. Submerging herself up to her neck. Her lip started to twist, as the soap became large enough to block her view of Ritsuka.
She knew he was still there by the way the water was shifting constantly. Alter leaned back rolling her head against the side of the tub and looked around. Trying to avoid any notion of thought about her master. The room had filled with steam like a sauna, she noted. The glass of the shower had been fogged over.
Finally, her body started to adjust to the heat, she hummed a bit to herself as she got more comfortable. She glanced down at her bathing suit, soaking in the water.
What idiot suggests taking a shower in clothes?
She pressed her lips together almost a frown. Then reflexively, at her pout, she shook her head. Just a single quick twitch. Alter huffed at herself, and like her master, she dunked her head all the way beneath the water and grabbed a hose to rinse herself back off.
It's such a stupid thing to linger on.
"Alter?" His voice came from the other side of the tub. His toes, brushing her leg.
She reflexively shrunk herself back a bit from the touch. Amber eyes peered through the steam and soap bubbles.
I hadn't realized we drifted that close.
She blinked and slid her knees closer, so they popped up from beneath the water. She would stretch her legs out again when she knew exactly where he was. Not wanting to make this more awkward than it already was.
Fuck, am I blushing again? Or is it just the heat?
Alter cleared her throat. "Yes?"
The movement at the other end of the bath had come to a stop. Then, he could hear her master clear his throat. "I uh...there is no easy way to say this." He cleared his throat a little more. "The soaked mystic code is rubbing against my skin, just above the right hip."
She spoke first the biting remark coming out as a reflex. "Master, isn't that the point of wearing a shirt?" She'd meant it as something humorful, but a realization had struck her halfway through the sentence. Alter had winced as soon as she'd finished.
Stupid Dragon Witch-
Rtisuka's chuckles were awkward.
No doubt accompanied by that stupid smile of his.
"I suppose you're right." He admitted. "But uh, I need to take the shirt off I think. It's agitating one of my burn scars specifically. Dragging against it with... every twist or movement I make." There was silence for a brief second. "I don't want to make you...more uncomfortable."
Alter stared hard at the wall of soap neither of them was peaking over. "S-sure." She eventually managed. She glanced away from the spot, suddenly fearing she might intrude on his privacy. She reached up and touched her cheeks, still filled with warmth.
"Thanks." He said, and the water churned and splashed with his movement. She heard the slap of the wet material against the sidewall of the tub, as he laid it off to the side. Then it was all quiet from his side of the tub.
This is too intimate.
She shook her head to herself erasing every image her imagination decided to spew unwelcome in her mind. Every imagined thought about swimming with her master shirtless, showering with him, previously crushed, had come rushing back.
He already doesn't like you, why would-?
Shut up!
She dunked her head beneath soap and steam bubbles again, and when she resurfaced, she didn't care enough to rinse her face off. Alter opened her eyes in the soap-filled water that soaked her face. She could feel it drip off, her eyes stinging at the touch of chemicals. They started to water, her vision blurred.
The simplistic pain, a good distraction.
Alter pulled her legs close, so her knees almost poked out beneath the water again. A jet blasting the center of her back, the torrent a massage against the turmoil she'd felt building. Her arms vibrated slightly as they clutched each other over her legs, hugging them closer. She buried her face in her arms and knees, just above the water's surface.
Stupid dragon witch…
There she remained, her eyes squeezed shut, hugging herself tightly and neatly cocooned to drown out the world around her. She didn't know how long she'd buried herself in like that. She only knew that it had been a while when her master's voice filled the room again.
"Alter?" His tone filled with enough worry and concern, that would've normally delighted her.
To be concerned over, worried over...what a stupid dream.
A bitter laugh almost came out unbidden. Something that would've startled her master into thinking she was fine. Just her sadistic self. She slowly unbound her head to lift it. She looked up at him, sitting across from her.
The soap wall between them had diminished. Not in its entirety, but the bulk of it had shifted elsewhere. His aloha shirt, the mystic code was laid over the wall of the tub, like she'd thought it would be. The water still only disturbed the slightest ripples of her movement, and jets blasting against her back.
The scar he'd referenced was the biggest among all that she noted. She'd imagined it as she would burn scars, but she fought down any obvious and visible reaction to The skin was twisted into different colors, but still perfectly functional, if it all a slight discomfort.
Amber eyes blinked, finally tugging her gaze away from it, to the others. The small knicks and cuts. An arrow missed here, a shot grazed there, a claw mark there. Nothing quite as large as the burn that was the reason for his agitation.
Why didn't he say anything?
Who would want to share it with you?
Her lip twitched as she forced her gaze up to his eye.
He seemed flushed, a small tint of red touching his cheeks as he let out a few awkward laughs. "Just…" he fell silent for a moment, trying to find the right things to say. "I was wondering if you are okay?"
Alter's fingers curled. "I'm fine." She glanced away, suddenly feeling as if she'd starred for too long.
There was a long pause as Ritsuka's blush faded but he didn't take his eyes off her this time, and something more determined crossed his features. "I may be a useless novice as a mage." He huffed a bit as he shrugged his shoulders. "I might even be that way forever. But I'd be a useless master if I couldn't tell something was bothering one of my servants, especially you."
Her eyes flicked back to him more specifically the big scar that had marked his side. And again noted how expertly the aloha shirt was just enough to hide every visible scar from sight. She hugged her knees tighter as if she wanted to shrink away further.
He chuckled as he humored. "I mean, I don't think I would've lasted this long if I wasn't a good master at least."
This night so far had been about trying to pry her master open. That was something she preferred. She could tell what he was doing. Trying to put her at ease, loosening the tension between them. Trying to make it easier for her to talk. Something she knew she very rarely ever did. The thought he would do at least do that for her, even if there was no reason to do anything else for her, gave her mixed emotions.
Anger played out across her features first and when her lip twitched, the fire in her gaze subsided, and the twist in her lips slowly started to unwind.
Ritsuka sat up, straightening his back against the tub, black hair still wetted down, his dark blue eyes leaving her for only a moment. "Just this once Alter. Be honest with me? No snide remarks or deflections."
She glanced away her face filling with a blush. Alter hugged herself tighter, a pout. "I don't use deflections…"
He chuckled. "It's one of your favorites."
Alter huffed a single chuckle, "I guess." She offered a small smile as she tilted her head, looking up and over her arms and legs. She chuckled again. There was no way in hell, she would ever share all of her problems. But there was one question she, even now was hesitating to ask. One that she couldn't bring herself to ask earlier at the pool. Her smile faded as quickly and as brief as it had appeared.
She would have to ask a question that would give her an answer, albeit from a non-direct question. Amber eyes flicked to the burn scar, and then back to Ritsuka's eyes.
That in of itself is a concern.
Who would ever want to share with-
SHUT UP!
Alter cleared her throat. "A question master…" She started formally, but she grew quiet in the following seconds. "Why...did you never tell m-" She closed her lips quickly and amended her sentence. "-...us, about them?"
He stared at her, eyes wide with some surprise, and there was a silence that sat between them again. His gaze, thoughtful, as they remind squarely on her.
Alter could almost imagine the thoughts flowing in and out, as he was left alone to decipher the rest of her question. No one could ever argue that of the two siblings, when it came to, magic, Ritsuka was always the one that came up short. But sometimes, like now, it had been super easy to fill in the gap.
"The scars?" he asked gently.
The water shifted as Alter stretched out one of her legs, straightening it. "I…" She winced at the sound of her own voice. She squeezed her eyes shut, "Yes." She answered simply. When her eyes had opened to land on him again, she suppressed whatever expression that had started to surface.
Ritsuka was quiet again, this time for a much noticeably longer period of time. Just long enough for Jeanne Alter to start hearing those doubts starting to creep back in the corner of her mind. But eventually, he cleared his throat. "I did tell others."
But not with…
He shrugged a bit. "I'm like my sister, I guess," and he sat forward in the bath, the water sloshing with the movement. "Embarrassment I suppose." He glanced away. "It seemed like such a stupid idea to bother you guys at all for my small problems since you're all busy trying to save humanity." Ritsuka coughed, suddenly sensing an implication to her questioning. His eyes remained focused on her. "But to be clear, other servants do know."
Alter blinked, and under his gaze tried to remain as expressionless as possible.
Ritsuka scratched the back of his head. "I mean, I already know you think I'm an idiot. But I guess I want to be clear in explaining that I'm not so stupid as to keep people in the dark about my physical condition."
Idiot, that's not what this is about!
Her master lifted six fingers. "Not counting my sister, mash, or Chaldea's medical staff…" He paused for a moment. "Sherlock, Da Vinci, because they help to run everything and it's their job to know." He looked away. "Medea and Irisviel, because, along with Chaldea's medical staff, they were helping my sister's treatments. They're also helping me out where they can, and are waiting to hear an okay from me to see if they can bring Nitocris in to help."
He closed his eyes for a moment as if bracing himself. He lowered his hand, and now held up just his index and middle finger. "Emiya, because he cooks breakfast for me in the mornings when I finish making the rounds at Chaldea in the mornings." He glanced away leaving the last finger up for a second.
Alter shifted eyes starting to narrow as he saw his hesitation.
"Jeanne D'Arc, because she happened upon me and Emiya one morning." He did his best to keep his expression neutral. "I also wanted to tell her, so she could keep a closer eye on my sister and me during missions." As the lull in the conversation started to drag on even further, he gestured to her. "And now, you."
Even that holy maiden knew.
She was thankful that the soap-filled bath was enough to conceal her hands in the water. She'd curled them into fists, and had only just barely managed to keep her expression neutral. The nails digging into her skin. Finally, she grit her teeth. "That holy maiden knows?"
Unlike you, she probably bothered to notice something was wrong.
Ritsuka winced, but at this point, there was no reason to bother trying to deny it. There was no way he would be able to salvage...whatever this was if he bothered to deny it. "She does because she asked." He gave a nod to her, "And now so did you."
Alter was quiet, fearing that if she wasn't she'd be overt in her anger. She pushed her teeth together, trying to hide her expression even just the slightest.
Because she was angry, she wanted to walk the beach and find some giant crabs and chickens that she knew would be roaming around at this hour. It would give her enough of an excuse to get out of this intimate space with the source of her current problems. The thoughts threatened to drown her, so she dunked herself all the way beneath the soap water again.
Just finish the bath, and go do something worthwhile for once.
Wouldn't that be a sight?
Her lip twisted as she came back to the surface, and reached for a shower hose. When she opened her eyes again, the soap clearing away from her eyes, she noticed her master's eyes still on her, holding that same concern as they always did.
"You want to know why I didn't tell you?" He scratched the back of his head fluffing his hair out a bit before he dunked it back into the bath. When he came up, he returned the gaze she'd fixed to him. It was enough for him to chuckle, just a bit, his way of diffusing the tension in the room that often accompanied them.
He doesn't like you.
"I like you Alter, I really do, but we never had that...sort of openness with each other." He didn't look away from her as the words left his lips. Part of him knew what he should've expected, so there was no surprise on his face.
She cracked, just a little, through gritted teeth and smacked the high corner of the tub, some of her prana leaking into her strength. The tub's upper corner snapped free, and a chunk of it flew across the room. A clean, swift break. "I know, okay, I know!" Alter hissed as water shifted as she found her feet, not particularly caring, and she took a step towards him. "Who would want to be open with me right?!" Alter swung her arms wide gesturing to the world around them. "Nobody thinks a dragon witch is capable of caring! Noticing! Just-!" She stomped. "Agh!"
Ritsuka shifted. "I never meant-"
"Gilles made this version of me, and even he doesn't care!" She marched across the bath right up until she stood over him. Imposing over him. "But you, you stupid failure of a magus! Protector of humanity. How are we supposed to go about doing our jobs without being certain you are at your best?!" She leaned down over him, her long wet white hair draping over them. "Do you have any idea how selfish it is to not share with us your problems?"
Her lip twitched as she leaned closer. "That at any second, if one of your problems manifested, that it would cost all of human history everything? That's the sort of thing-" She paused and her harsh gaze faltered.
Ritsuka had gone rigid as he sat in the bathwater beneath her, as he leaned over him. His fingers were curled, and that carefree smile of his, that one he tried to wear always, just for those around him had twitched into a frown. But there was something more hidden in the valleys of his blue eyes.
Fear.
Of you.
Like that her flash of anger had dissipated and she glanced to the side. She straightened slowly and stepped away from him. An amber eye flicked to her left hand curled into a fist, then at the chunk of the bath, she'd broken. Alter slowly took a step back, horrified. "I'll…" She winced at the softness of her own voice, her tone changing to something far gentler. "I'll finish up my bath some other time." She turned away, water splashing with every step.
He grabbed her hand.
She stopped, but she didn't look back, and he wasn't in a position to see the way she'd pressed her mouth into a line. "Please, just…" Alter huffed, then straightened. "As you already noticed, there are more qualified servants that should-"
"I'm here," he interrupted, hoping against all hope, that she could hear the inflection of his voice. Hoping that she could understand the rest of what he'd meant to say.
She did because she knew her master well too. Enough to know what he often meant when he said such things. Alter, like before, knew exactly what he was doing. The goal was different this time, instead of getting her to talk, he was begging her to stay. Implying that he'd chosen to stay with her regardless.
Alter half turned to face him, to look back at him. Her hand still tucked gently between his fingers. He found something in his eyes, a familiar determination. The message clear, that he didn't want her to leave.
She bit her lip.
He smiled, just a bit.
That stupid, dumb, idiotic, carefree smile.
"That was the first real thing you've said to me in a while Alter. But I…" He glanced away, off to the side. "I also have some things I need to say…" He tugged her again, gently, arguing her to take him up on his offer, trying to pull her closer. "Please," Ritsuka insisted.
Amber eyes flicked away again, but she relented, just a few hesitant inches. She'd felt ashamed, and it was showing. "I don't…" She met his gaze, just briefly. "I don't want you to share with me because you don't want to." She hissed at herself, "I mean-"
"Alter." Ritsuka interrupted. "I want to share." His gentle grip on her fingers tightened. A reflex, and affirmation. "But I need you here so that while I share I can explain." He offered a smile up to her, "Just remember I'm not that good at talking either."
Sometimes, his occasionally thrown away lines were enough to pull a huff of amusement from Alter. Or better yet a few chuckles. But this was not one of those times. The situation was starting to weigh heavily on her mind.
Alter focused on him, pressing her lips into a line. "Okay." She finally managed. Once his grip started to loosen, she took a few steps off to his right and settled onto her knees. Her lip twitched into a small frown as the water rose to her waist.
Still too warm.
She glanced at him.
His eyes were still on her, and he slowly forced himself to look away.
Alter looked down, starting to blush again. There was no mistaking it now, she was certain he knew she was uncomfortable.
Hopefully, he'll think it was just an attribute to the situation.
Ritsuka was quiet, but it was clear that his mind was at work, trying to figure out how best to carefully construct what he had to say. In the meantime, he added some more soap to the bathe, and he slid down, just a few more inches away from her, so his back was lined up with jet. He grabbed a scrub too and started to scrub away at his arms.
For her part, she forced herself to look away, noticing now in more detail that he was shirtless. She crossed her arms over her chest and sank just a bit deeper. Acclimatizing herself once more to the heat of the water.
Finally, Ritsuka cleared his throat. "Remember, not long after I summoned you, it must've been only a couple of weeks after the counterfeit scandal with all of Da Vinci's work?" He continued to scrub at his arms but his eyes had flicked to her. Curious as to how vivid the details were to her, the first few memories she'd made at Chaldea. "You actually wanted me to treat the contract you set up between us seriously."
Alter bowed her head a nod. "I remember." She shifted her legs out from underneath her submerging herself once again. She gave a half snort at the thought. "I'd come with a contract on purpose...figuring that it would be easier."
Ritsuka nodded. "One of the clauses you wrote for it, I took that to mean that you didn't want to be open with me." She could hear him shift off to her right. "You asked for me to not intrude on your dreams, or invade the privacy of your thoughts," He reached for the hose. "Or communicate with you. You didn't want me to use our master and servant bond."
She'd stilled for a moment, knowing she was looking his way. Suddenly she had some understanding.
I did write that, didn't I?
Alter pushed her lips together to prevent a frown.
So it had been my fault?
Ritsuka huffed a bit and scratched his head. "I didn't really understand it at first. Most of all the other servants summoned didn't really care." He tilted his head a bit. "At least, not yet." She could hear the water shifting again. "Until the little things started happening, you know? The lingering glances between King Arturia and Emiya during Chaldea's lunch hours." He huffed a small chuckled, "Or Robin and Ibaraki, Medea and Medusa…"
Finally, Alter managed to bring herself to look at him. His eyes were alight with memory, and they had an intensity that she rarely saw. Like he was so certain that it would all come together by the end. That whatever he would have to say, wouldn't affect what was between them.
I may have wanted that distance then...
It's what you deserve now.
Her lip twitched and her amber eyes flicked away, but something just as easily drew her eyes back to him. When the subject changed to her officially.
"I had gotten so used to all of you acting like…" He huffed. "Well, like servants. But as everyone's time at Chaldea grew. So to did the more human aspect of all of you, and well…" He scratched the back of his head. "The transition would've been a lot tougher for me if you hadn't stipulated the contract to be so between us." He sat with his back pressed up against the side of the tub. "I had gotten used to everyone being so...upfront, no barriers, and all that. But you had been like that from the very beginning."
Did I avoid contact from the beginning?
Had I really been that bad?
Ritsuka turned to grin at her. "You, see it's because you no matter how well you buried it beneath your contracts, your insults, and your very flippant temper...you wanted to be treated as a person from the very start."
Alter's expression had shifted away from listening to one of utter horror as she stared at him. "You-" She shook her head. "Y-Your wrong, I didn't want to be seen as that." She shifted and started to turn red. "I was trying to be upfront about what I am, an evil witch." Her eyes narrowed. "I-"
Ritsuka raised an eyebrow, almost daring her to deny it. "But what set you apart was that you wanted something." He gestured into the small short space between them. "You wanted to be seen as something other than a tool. Or at the very least, you made no attempts to hide it."
She closed her lips. "I...well." Then finally she found something to grasp on. "Well, you should see us as tools. We are nothing more than instruments to preserve humanity's future."
He raised an eyebrow at her. "I think we both know by now that isn't exactly how I prefer to do things." Then he huffed a small laugh, injecting some humor, if only briefly back into the conversation. "See? A deflection."
"I-!" Alter pressed her lips into a line and turned half away, and folded her arms with a pout. "Fine, so I deflect to avoid certain topics, so what?" She made a gesture to him. "Everyone has their own little niches."
He sighed and dipped his hair back into the tub, and then in a swift motion, he threw it all back, behind him, so it was flat. "My point, Alter, is that I wanted to respect your privacy." Ritsuka tilted his head, the water dripping down his shoulders.
The water adds a sort of gleam to him, doesn't it?
She blinked and resisted the urge to pinch herself. Alter looked away unsure if she wanted to respond to that. It was both heartwarming and infuriating how much he wanted to respect her privacy, and how it had gone exactly where she didn't want it to go.
Nowhere.
But she'd picked the wrong time to meet his eyes when he continued. He'd grown just a bit more serious as he spoke his next sentence. "I thought my decision was proven correct when you never bothered to open up about your problems either."
Alter resisted the urge to tear her gaze away as the reasons poured into her head. How he'd see her embarrassed at that thought. Or worse, realize how right he'd been with his assessment. She hugged her knees to her chest again.
Perhaps I'd let slip a little too much when I yelled earlier?
Her mouth started to twist again. "My problems don't affect the outcome of the fate of human history." Her eyes narrowed. "You have hundreds of others who could replace my loss if for any stupid reason I let my problems get the better of me." She jabbed a finger as her eyes narrowed. "You, and your sister, are the people humanity can't afford to lose."
Ritsuka shook his head. "But I'm human Alter." He put his hand against his chest. "I only share my problems with those who share their problems with me. If you don't share, I assume that you want me to keep my distance." He turned away. "A choice that seems to have mucked this up for both us."
Alter ground her teeth together. "Why would that matter?"
Idiot.
His nostrils flared and gestured as if it were obvious. "Because none of you ever were just servants to me." Her master straightened, just a bit. "I don't expect everyone to suddenly start sharing their problems with me, but I expect those who want more than just a master-servant contracted relationship would." Ritsuka bit his lip and forced himself to shrink back a bit, not wanting to appear that he was angry.
She shook her head again. "My problems don't affect the outcome."
His lip twitched. "They do when I'm worried about you."
For a long moment, Alter's anger started to twitch to something of utter horror. Her mouth hung open slightly as she stared him down, whatever rebuttal she'd planned had died in her throat at that admission. "Idiot." She muttered, looking away. A blush started to fill her cheeks. "Don't expect me to start spilling my problems to you."
"You never had to." Ritsuka glanced away.
She stared.
What?
By way of demonstrating he tapped his mind and when next she heard his voice, it was in her mind. "Remember we still have a master and servant bond. Neither of us may acknowledge it often, but things…" He gave a slight tilt of his head. "But things always still manage to slip through."
Alter went rigid again as she avoided his eyes. She could feel the bathwater swirling around her, the heat rising to flush her cheeks.
Too warm.
"How-..." She fell silent again and bit her lip. Her fingernails dug into the sides of her arms and she tried to shrink herself down. If she'd been capable of it, she might've even gone into spirit form. In the water, she could hear her master shifting beside her.
She glanced at him.
Ritsuka nodded to her. "It's okay, really." He paused and turned away from her too, feeling the awkward tension rippling across the surface of the room. "Again I…" He opened and closed his palms. "I was trying to give you that space and privacy that you'd wanted." A huffed escaped his lips. "I felt, if this discussion had happened under normal circumstances, you would've been less inclined to share."
Because you don't know how to be personable. Or talk.
Alter grit her teeth again, the feeling of embarrassment replaced with anger, at her own stupidity. It was something she should've known or realized. That because she wanted to be- She gave a quick shake of her head.
Those barriers would start shrinking.
Ritsuka cleared his throat. "Alter?"
Amber eyes landed on him again, and whatever he'd been about to say had died in his throat as he pushed his lips together. "H-how much do you know?"
Ritsuka closed his eyes for a moment, almost bracing himself for the conversation to come. Her master's discomfort was made even more clear in that he finally managed to tear his gaze away from her. His eyes narrowing with thought, as if he could will the memory to be something palpable in front of him.
She opened and closed her hands, for once forcing herself to sit and wait patiently. Alter bit her lip again, trying to keep down the urge to repeat her question.
"I…" He started slowly. "I think the first and most obvious one is your tendency to avoid others." Blue eyes returned to her. "For example, even now, you prefer to avoid all the beach parties and other events that groups of servants seem to host on the beach."
Alter frowned. "I'm trying to avoid Medb. I'm afraid I'll snap and lose my shit at her." She huffed and flicked a small tower of soap that'd been building up against her shoulder. "Or her number of fans. Fans we somehow need to win."
Ritsuka nodded slowly. "A good excuse, but what about when we're at Chaldea? When had other gatherings for other celebrations? You never came out then either."
She looked away again.
He sighed. "My point here remains the same as my previous one, I assumed you wanted to be left alone or left to the privacy of your own thoughts." He edged closer, shifting along the bath wall. "Your habit of pushing people away…" He let out a few humorless chuckles. "It had even your master fooled."
Alter's lip twitched, and she could sense how close he was. She gripped her arms tighter. "I figured you were all better off."
Her master didn't comment on that, but instead reached out and gripped her shoulder. It was a gentle tug as he urged her to look him in the eye again.
Too close and too warm.
Alter didn't try to stop herself from facing him this time. She had pressed her mouth into a line to help hide her most immediate expressions at their sudden closeness. But her pale cheeks still started to flush a few shades to a darker red.
He leaned in just a bit more so their faces were only inches apart.
No no no. Too close. Is he-?! No, he wouldn't ever. Not for me. Not for a dragon witch.
He offered her a small smile, but it faded as his expression grew more serious. "If you don't think your tendency to avoid people is a problem. How about you're fear of burning alive again?" Rituska blinked at her reaction and put just a couple more inches of space between them, a second realization. "The same dream you have every night?"
Her eyes bulged and suddenly she became acutely aware of just how hot everything was. The way the steam from the hot bath filled her lungs threatening to suffocate her. The way the warm water churned around her, binding her like a cage. Her deepening blush, as her body started to make her warm with how close they were. "I-"
Ritsuka's eyes widened. "Is that why you hate feeling warm?"
Shit!
Her lip twitched as those blue eyes bore into her as if they could suddenly see everything she'd wanted to hide. Suddenly it became very apparent her fears, of the dreams he mentioned, and the recent ones he didn't. "S-stop." She'd gone rigid. "Please, stop." Her eyes flicked away again, shame having filled them.
He raised a brow at her, a questioning glance.
"You were right. I don't want any of this." She spoke her expression hardening.
Liar.
It's what you deserve.
Ritsuka pressed his mouth into a line, but he gave her the space she needed and scooted himself away.
She eyed him with horror. With that look she was still getting, she suspected, he knew that also had been a lie. Alter hugged her knees closer to her chest and turned away. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the makings of movement and heard the churnings of water.
A hand touched her shoulder.
Alter stiffened, nails digging into her arms as she hugged herself.
"Then I'll wait until you're ready okay?" His voice trying to sound uplifting and understanding. "For us...This...I want it to go both ways."
She turned to look at him again, an arm's length away. Her mouth opened and closed and she glanced off to the side. "T-thanks." Her voice was hoarse, raw as if she'd been shouting and screaming for hours.
He smiled at her, with his eyes closed.
Stupid, dumb, idiotic smile.
It had its effect though, whether she wanted it to or not. She could feel the corners of her lips turning up slightly at the sight. Her long white hair being carried by the currents of the bathe now in long complicated swirls around her. Alter's amber eyes spotted it, as she finally realized that she should finish her bath. Followed slowly by something else, a blush at a thought. Alter glanced towards her master.
Ritsuka ran shampoo through his hair, massaging his head in circles as he tried to rid himself of the chlorine smell that still clung loosely to him.
There was no way he'd agree to it.
She winced when their eyes, met, having been caught in a lingering glance. Alter hated it how perceptive her master was sometimes.
"Alter?" He questioned, indicating it was obvious to him that something was bothering her.
What a stupid thought.
Her eyes flicked to him.
Then again, perhaps this could serve as punishment?
She cleared her throat, "Wash my hair." Her voice came out as a command. But her cheeks still turned red, as she realized nothing else had come out with it. No reasoning as to why, nor any justification that she'd scrambled to find.
The only momentary satisfaction she got, was the fact that she could see a blush spreading across his cheeks too. He coughed once and then rubbed the back of his neck. "Uh? Sure. I guess I can help you with it?"
His nervousness made for some confidence on her part. She sat up straighter releasing her hold on her legs to stretch them out in the bath. Alter nodded confidently, "My hair is long and can be...quite troublesome to clean."
Ritsuka chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck. "Well, I guess it makes sense that-"
Alter sat forward holding up a second finger. "I mean look at it, I can only wash so much of it before I have to start clumping it together."
He blinked. "I-"
"And don't get me started on how much brushing I have to do to it." She huffed.
"Alter!" He chuckled a bit. "I already said yes."
She blinked. "Well, I could also…" There was a pause as realization struck her. "You did?" Her blush made no moves to leave. Her embarrassment grew to match the intensity of her stare. she glanced away. "Well g-get on with it then!"
He closed his legs offering his knees as a place to rest her back. "You need to sit in front of me Alter." Ritsuka gestured for her to come closer.
Another beat of silence was quick to pass. "Fine!" She huffed crossing her arms. "Just, keep your hands to yourself." She blinked. "And don't get any ideas." She started scooting closer and turned her back to him.
It's probably already too late for that.
#
Ritsuka was frozen as she propped herself against his knees. At this point, he could feel the butterflies in his stomach threatening to burst. A mass of white hair quickly filled the space over his knees. He reached a hand up to adjust her hair.
He paused the motion, and his arm twitched.
How am I supposed to keep my hands to myself?!
He pressed his mouth into a line and closed his eyes. He curled his fingers into a fist, digging his nails into his palm. Just for a moment, before he opened his hand slowly again. He reached for the first tail tied to the right side of her head.
As his finger touched her hair and gave a gentle tug to pull the hair tie loose, he could feel Alter turn rigid as well. I was almost enough to make him laugh.
Despite his best effort, a chuckle still escaped.
"What's so funny?" She turned her head half around, her eyes narrowing. The blush still hadn't quite left her cheeks, but it had faded.
How am I supposed to answer that?
He scratched the back of his neck at the thought and quickly decided to trust his gut. It was some of that carefree attitude that sometimes really bothered Alter and the other servants around him. Another huff of a chuckle came escaped from his lips. "Me." He shook his head, "You...us." He made a half gesture with his free hand between them. "This whole situation." At last, he tugged free the first hair tied.
Instantly free of its shackle, her white hair was quick to spread out even more.
Ritsuka scratched the back of his head again. "I don't know. I mean, I wanted to spend some more time with you, but this sort of thing was at the bottom of what I expected."
Alter pressed her lips together, a blush flushing her cheeks as she turned away. "Idiot." She muttered. She leaned forward slightly, over her own knees, the base of her back still pressed against his shins.
He got to work on pulling her second hair tie out. "You're hair is very beautiful you know. I'm afraid to ask how much time you spent on it." Blue eyes flicked to the back of her head just as he finished.
"Idiot." She repeated, and he could feel her back stiffen against him, only just. "Too long." She answered vaguely. Then, at last, she grabbed the scrub and started with her legs. Cleaning between her toes and the soles of her feet.
Ritsuka doused his hands with the hotel's shampoo and leaned forward starting from her scalp. He was slow at first, uncertain if Alter had wanted to go through with her own suggestion. He eyed her for any sign or request for him to stop.
No request came, but she remained rigid when his fingers started moving in circles around her head. She'd pressed her lips into a tight line in order to keep herself from saying anything.
Worried she'll ruin the moment.
He could only agree with her sentiment there, forcing himself to take his eyes off her lips. The thought of them, being closer was enough to keep his face warm for the rest of the night. He slowly massaged her head, wanting to be thorough, hoping to relax away whatever stress or tension that had been staked between them since they formed their contract.
Alter cleared her throat. "I want to sit closer."
Ritsuka's eyes widened as he stared at the back of her head. He was in no way expectant of her to turn around and make eye contact with him now as he grew shades redder. "O-okay." He was quick to push his lips closed.
She lifted herself off his knees.
He spread his legs.
She scooted closer, enough for him to reach and out hug her, a temptation and urge he resisted with great effort. But she also wasn't so close enough to touch him. She motioned to sit cross-legged, her knees brushing his legs. "N-not a word about this to anyone."
Then he caught it, just the edge of her eyes as she turned to look at him. The flush of her cheeks the reddest he'd ever seen them against her pale skin, one might've thought she was suffering from a life-threatening fever. His hands had gone rigid, against her scalp, ever since she'd moved, and he'd simply kept them in place.
There was a pleading look in her eyes. "H-hurry up and finish." Her leg fidgeted up and down. In an attempt to avoid the real problem at hand, another joke left her lips. "I-If we don't hurry, we'll get all wrinkly…"
Ritsuka nodded in understanding.
Too warm for her.
He worked quickly, but relaxingly, she was close enough to watch how her body moved whenever she inhaled and exhaled for breath. Just close enough to feel the heat of her skin without touching her.
The warm water, plus his frighteningly high body heat, the steam of the air around them, it was intoxicatingly addicting in its suffocation. Like a claw had wrapped around his throat, and someone had trapped butterflies in his stomach. A feeling that only made it worse, when she leaned her head back against his chest, so she could look at him, just as he finished his scalp.
He watched her bite her lip prevent herself from saying anything.
I promised her that we could wait.
But now he felt he was fighting himself and that made it so much worse. When he looked down at she avoided his eyes. "D-" He mentally slapped himself with a slight twist of his head. "Do you need something to do?"
She nodded an awkward smile. "Too warm." She said simply. "Anything to do might help."
Ritsuka nodded at that and gestured to his hair. "Your hair is long, and since I'm finished with your scalp, you can wash my back if you want?" Again he mentally slapped himself. "Only if you're certain if it will help."
The bite on her lip tightened slightly, and she managed a quick nod. With some reluctance, she shifted and got onto her knees. She moved all of her hair to one side and spared only a single glance at Ritsuka.
He pushed off the wall, allowing her to get somewhat behind him.
From there, the rest had been done in silence as they tried their best to ignore their intimacy in favor of the other. Alter had washed his back, and rewashed his hair by the time he'd finished with her long hair strands in the water. The last thing he did wash her back while he took the shower hose and rinsed all the conditioner from her hair. Her hair grew increasingly soft as the minutes had passed.
Another distraction he'd fought himself over.
#
Now they stood there in their wet clothes as the bath was drained. "We need to dry these…" Ritsuka pointed out. He blinked and his eyes narrowed. "Wait, we may not have a change in clothes but we should have bathrobes right?" He paused to look around. "I could've sworn I saw them in my room with Robin?"
Her face was still tinted but it had since faded now that she was out of the bath. Every movement was still rigid from her. "I'm changing into a robe first." She marched off the cabinet that sat in the corner of the room. "Out," she commanded.
Ritsuka nodded and showed himself out.
It was the dead of night now, no longer late in the evening. He dared not to look at the clock fearing the answer to his unspoken question. A glance towards the shore, beyond the double pane window, was all it took to answer his question.
The fires for whatever party or festival out there were now gone. Fizzled out from the lack of servants throwing a party on the beach.
Was it the third day of every loop when the servants hold an all-night bash? Or was it the fourth?
He folded his arms and sighed.
Still no closer to beating out Medb when it comes to doujin sales.
His eyes flicked back to the bathroom door, thoughts lingering on the servant beyond. The person he least expected to try and want to win a doujin competition was the one trying to give it her all every loop thus far to win.
She really wants to beat out that holy maiden doesn't she? That one doujin she mentioned and wants to surpass...
There was a small smile that touched his lips as he turned to look outside again.
Spite was always a good motivator, he only hoped they could find a way to win before she burned out hard. As her master, he also had to figure out how best to helper her win. His eyes found his journal tucked away in the small pile of things he left in the workspace of their room, the place where he was pulling together all of Alter's scrapped ideas for a small manuscript of his own.
Spite from me, to say that even her self proclaimed "worthless ideas" could be turned into something worthwhile.
He folded his arms with a slight shake of his head and turned his eye back to the beach.
What a day.
The bathroom door opened, and he turned around to see Alter, still flushed red to her cheeks even in the darker light of the hotel room. Her legs were exposed from her knees down, and the robe was (he was certain), triple knotted at the waist. She looked away, "Your turn." She eyed around the hotel room like it had gotten smaller. "Uh? There isn't much else to do if you're still looking to stay in here tonight."
Ritsuka quietly bowed his head in thanks. "I appreciate it." He gave a shrug as the first most obvious idea popped into his head. "We can always do some work on our doujin." He tried to shrug off the thoughts of being stuck in a room with her all night away quickly. The thought didn't go away as he turned to face her.
Alter's amber eyes lingered on him when he spoke, her expression unreadable. She hummed quietly in acknowledgment. "I guess."
He agreed that it wasn't a particularly creative idea of how to spend a few of their late-night hours. But maybe a return to something familiar might do the trick and set them both at ease. He brushed past her on the way to the bathroom. Then her hand latched onto his. He'd already half-turned when a demand slipped from her voice.
"Don't turn around." She inhaled and exhaled slowly. "I'm going to be mad if you do." She spoke through gritted teeth to emphasize her point. Then her voice soothed. "You know...more mad even with the class change…"
A rare instance where her joke didn't get a small laugh from him. He strained as he went rigid, obliging her request. His head turned to face the front door, and the bathroom again. He could feel the warmth from her as she edged closer to his back, the movement of her hand in his.
And then absence when she let go of his hand.
But they were still close he could tell. Her breathing on the back of his neck. Until finally her arms wrapped around his chest. She rested her chin just beneath the base of his shoulder on his right side. She pressed herself closer to him.
He lowered his hand to touch her arms around his waist. They vibrated, shaking with whatever emotion she'd been overwhelmed with. Then he felt her grow taller behind him, as she stood on the tips of her toes to rest her chin on more properly on his shoulder.
"T-thanks for being patient." She hissed at herself and got closer to his ear. "Understanding." She corrected herself. Even with nervousness shaking in her limbs that wrapped around him, she tugged him closer her grip briefly tightening, her chest pushing against his back. He felt her whole body move with every breath she took.
Alter held him there trying to express her emotions without speaking. Until her breathing started to grow uneven against his neck. Then she slunk away pressing her lips on the base of his neck, in between his shoulders.
Her arm's slowly untangled themselves from around him, and he was so caught up in the moment he barely had the time to catch her fingers as the crept away. He twitched as he forced himself to keep turned away. He raised her caught fingers up slowly and could feel the slight cracks in them, the roughness of her hand.
Fighting and hours upon hours of drawing.
Her movements stopped.
Ritsuka pressed his lips against her knuckles, and he could feel her stiffen against him, having not quite managed to get away fully yet. "Always." Then he let go of her hand too and felt her fingers glide across his skin, like resisting the urge to keep him in place as he walked towards the bathroom.
It seemed like even eternity could end.
"Idiot." She muttered.
Only when he was at the bathroom door did he risk a glance back.
She was still standing in place, one arm holding her wrist to her chest like it was something precious, before. Her eyes avoided the area where he'd been standing as she stood there for a long moment pondering. Until, finally, she walked out of sight, behind the corner towards her bed and the small desk she'd started using against the wall.
###