I don't own anything related to Fate/stay night, this is a work of parody.
Act One: Switch.
September 13, 1996
Fuyuki City, Japan.
Track 01 (Music) /ZhcLmWHlD_g
Whenever Dad and I tried out anything, whether it was magic or kendo fighting, he never treated it like it was essential actually to succeed. For him, I felt like he treated a lot of things like that, as if it was just a game, even if magic was a perilous game. In summary, Kiritsugu couldn't be described as a particularly earnest person.
My new Mom, on the other hand...
"Again Shirou, one more time." she watched me with severe eyes.
...She wasn't so tolerant.
But I understood; she needed me to succeed. I didn't quite understand exactly what it was that was the big problem, but if I could fix it, I can help out Dad.
I couldn't merely fail anymore; if I can't even pull off strengthening reliably, how will I ever be able to become a hero?
"haah...haah." I take a deep breath, taking the stick in my hands. I'm wrought with nervousness. I can't be making a fool of myself like this in front of my new mommy.
But the fact remains that I'm simply not very good at this, not even close to what dad and mom must be like...
"..." There's no point in thinking about this; I just have to do it. I concentrate my mind on the stick.
The blueprint of the stick emerges in my mind.
The diagram of the wood shows the material, shape, and ever the flow of vitality that remained in the broken branch, it was something like the blood of the branch, something that my body could understand innately.
All I have to do now is flow my magical energy into that blood.
"Shirou... I have seen you do this four times now. Can you explain exactly what you are trying so hard to do?" What am I trying to do?
"I'm making the circuit, of course." Obviously, how else would I be able to form a magical connection?
"Why are you doing that…!?" I don't think I had yet to see her have such a confused look before, she had never looked so... human, I guess.
"…Mom. Are you angry?"
"Of course I'm angry! I can't believe Kiritsugu would lead you astray like this, the worst part is that he probably didn't even have a clue that he was doing it all wrong too..."
"But... Dad so much better than me, I-I'm just not good at this, sorry." Dad didn't make the mistake, I wasn't really sure what I did wrong, but whatever it was, it must have been me.
But she didn't seem to accept that.
"Don't needlessly blame yourself for everything Shirou, it's the role of the teacher to correct the student. But... going by that logic means that I'm to blame here since I was supposed to be teaching Kiritsugu back then... "
"You taught Kiritsugu magic?" A slight flush came to her ashen cheeks.
"No, no. I was supposed to be... but Mommy and Daddy got... indisposed doing... other sorts of things..." Her eyes looked glassy, blankly looking off into space.
What sort of thing was so fun that they wouldn't be able to study together like that... tag maybe?
'It doesn't matter, I need to get them back together before I start asking all the questions.'
"Well... what am I messing up exactly?" she snapped back to reality.
"Oh, yes... well, you're doing it all wrong from the beginning. You should be activating your switch, yet you're trying to create a magic circuit from scratch... I mean, isn't it hard?"
"Yeah, it hurts... but doesn't that just means it working?"
The palm of her hand rested on her face and she sighed, "Such a Kiritsugu line of thinking... Hah, at this rate, you'll end up at the same height of foolishness."
"You only have to make the Magic Circuit once. But you're trying to make the Magic Circuit from scratch and build it into you every time. If you establish it in your body even once, all you have to do is switch to it. Usually, a magus who establishes a Magic Circuit next receives training to switch to it. Yet your father deigned not to teach you... no, I don't think he knew either."
"So... I don't have to make the circuit every time?" That would cut the possible range of casting from minutes to potentially seconds!
"Yes, Shirou, we simply have to unlock the path within you. It is like turning on a lamp, but what you are switching on and off is your magical circuit."
"That definitely sounds... a lot better than what I've been doing... But how do I unlock it?"
At that, she smiled and ruffled through my hair.
Her smile was undeniably scary, pushing farther than you would think a smile can go. Yet that's just how she was, I'd come to associate it with feeling cherished.
"You must be glad to have me then. There are a few methods of forcing open a blocked switch... but I think you might still be young enough for it to happen the easy way, hmm..." her thin, nigh-invisible eyebrows furrowed as she starts, thinking hard about something.
"..."
She can get like that sometimes, only when she's going to tell me to do something or the other.
"The problem is that I can't do it myself... but luckily, we already have someone who can help you with this."
"Who's that?"
"Who other than your reliable yet foolish father? If you tell him exactly what I tell you to, then he can unlock your switch. He'll probably figure it out for himself if you prompt him right..."
Her lips twisted into a devilish smile.
"...If only I could be there with you to see his face when he realizes that his mistaken teaching was putting his son in unnecessary mortal danger." She said almost giddily.
"I wouldn't want Dad to feel bad about it..." If she loves him, why would she want to make him sad?
"I know, I know. I just like to tease him a bit. He's done some horrible things to me too, you know... So I'm allowed some punishment; it doesn't mean I don't love him dearly. It's just that a part of me loves him most when he's suffering."
"I don't think Ill ever understand that..." If I ever loved someone, Id never want them to be sad. what's so different for adults?
"Remember that when we succeed, your father will be delighted. We can be a nice big family together, so I'm allowed a little revenge before I bless him with that."
"I guess..." It's probably better to get it out of the way now, before I bring mom home.
'I'd be really sad if they were angry at each other when I can finally reunite them.'
"If I need to do that with Dad, what else can do today for me to get better?"
"Nothing for now; why don't we just have a little chat?"
"Alright." I could handle a few more minutes; my head was starting to throb a little, though.
"What have you been up to these days. Tell me all about it."
"Well... School started up again, but I've been having a lot more fun with you, Fuji-nee, and dad than I ever do there."
"That's no good Shirou, your non-magical studies are very important too, and you do need friends your own age."
"I do have friends, it's just... I like my family more. I just feel a little old compared to them, I guess." I have a goal now, I can't play when I could be improving.
Everyone was friends with everyone in my grade, I never saw any other orphans there, though...
'I hope they're ok...' I'm sure they are.
"Hmm, that's fine Shirou, it's true I'd rather not share you for now. All the girls would just try to steal you away from me."
"I don't know about that..."
"How is your Father then?" She asked this every time I saw her.
"Dad? He's better, I think, he's been sick for a while now. I was so happy he was teaching and training me that I didn't even notice." I felt awful once I realized he's been struggling all this time.
"I see... that's why you must free me, there is a problem inside him that only I can heal him of." I'm sick too, my eyes were having problems concentrating.
"Is he... sick?" the first thing that I could think of was my own current ailment.
"He needs love, Shirou, a sort of love that won't be easy to give. I've never loved someone as I do him; even when we have been unjustly separated, I'm still doing my best to return to him, however in this strange circumstance." Her eyes fastened shut; she nods to herself.
"But how can I help you do that with magic?" how am I supposed to free you from wherever you are stuck? Why don't we just go and walk home together right now?
'Those are the questions she never answers...'
"All in due time, Shirou, as much as I am impatient, this needs to be done in stages. Otherwise, I would overwhelm you; think of it as an incentive. Every time you get better, we can move forward with the plan."
"Okay... I trust you." I have to do better.
Looking at my face, she seemed to come to a conclusion, "It looks like it's time for you to head home, Shirou." She put her hand to my hot forehead, and I closed my eyes because they were painful.
"Sorry, I'm so weak to always get sick like this." Without fail, I inevitably start feeling ill at some point when we talk and have to go home. Strangely enough, I start feeling immediately better when I leave the park.
"It's fine, Shirou. Consider it the pain of hard work, and it won't feel so bad, will it?" I hope so.
"Now off with you, remember to tell your father about his mistake.'
"Thanks... Mom, see you... tomorrow." I stand up with my school stuff and start my walk to the bus station.
Five steps were gone, and I didn't even feel sick anymore. I don't look back as I leave the shady park.
I race to make it in time to the bus station not to miss the 5:20 departure. But, it's best to make it home for my own safety before it's too dark out.
Yes, because of the possibility of there being bad strangers out at night, but mostly since Fuji-nee could go on a rampage if I'm late with dinner.
I promised her that I would give her treats every time she won a kendo match, and the tiger of Fuyuki was an undefeated monster in that. I probably wouldn't have bet it if I knew that she was so scary good too, I was proud of her though.
Jumping on a minute early, The Miyama-Shinto line bus driver recognizes me as I sit on the front seat.
Ever since I had reunited with Irisviel in the park, I've had a real routine in my life. Every day simply felt more fulfilling, now that I was sure that I was on the path towards becoming a real hero, I didn't doubt everything I was doing anymore.
That single change that has given me this shift in my life is a woman in a clean black dress, a person who insists that I call her mom.
Every day I come to the park in the afternoon, when Fuji-nee and Dad are seemingly always busy and don't need me around.
She wasn't always there, but I always check because I'm afraid that she would be waiting.
Of course, I still spend most of my time looking after Fuji-nee and running after dad, but Irisiviel offered me something that I couldn't resist. She offered me a way to be a hero, even If she doesn't actually tell me what I'm in to have to do.
She's an adult, she's Kiritsugu's wife, and she even said that she will be my mom from now on.
'I should be trusting her more...'
It's just that sometimes when I stay with her too long, I start to feel a little ill. I need to work on that, I can't let her think of me as weak.
The sunset in the distance, reflecting off the water as we cross the long red bridge. The ocean seemed to go off forever, yet an entire world waited there. All the places that Dad had been to, full of people that might one day need me.
The bus drops me off at the intersection that splits Miyama, home isn't too far now.
Yet as I start towards my house down the hill, I see a girl in a red sweater going the other way. Many students walk these streets, but she is my age.
Most parents don't trust their kids to get home alone yet, so it's interesting to see another kid out so late.
Yet this girl is like me, coming home late and alone. I can only wonder what has to lead her to this.
Staring intently at her, I can see that the red inside her pierces far deeper than simply her jacket.
It feels like she is surrounded by it, which she uses as a shield—a defense against further disappointment.
But the flickering of the sun's light through the clouds scatters the illusion.
'Must be a trick of the light...'
I made an error though, All this time I had been focused on her. So I hadn't noticed that she had stopped and looked back, directly at me, as if she knew I had been looking at her.
'She probably felt uncomfortable, sorry.' I silently sent an apology.
I waved at her awkwardly from across the road, caught red-handed staring at her.
I could see her face now, but for some reason, her hair was what was most notable. She had twin tails that looked charming with her raven-like hair.
She didn't wave back.
Instead, she excessively flipped her hair and walked up the hill, disregarding me, towards where the western neighborhood was.
'She seemed nice.'
I don't know the girl, but maybe I could. Maybe Mom is right, and I should make friends my own age sometime.
I should introduce myself next time, 'Be confident, Shirou!' Mom's bold words spur me on.
Of course, it's easy to say that you'll really do something next time, rarely is it this time.
Walking the rest of the way, I make it back to the gate of my home and slide open the door.
(Music Stop.)
Entering the kitchen and putting my apron on, I immediately start checking the ingredients for the evening.
As usual, the cupboards have exactly the amount that will get us through the next two days.
That is because Dad is the grocery shopper.
I'm too young to on my own, and Fuji-nee would just get all the wrong ingredients, thinking she's a genius.
So it falls on Kiritsugu, and whenever he's gone, I go with Taiga.
He always buys a little less than what I would as if he were trying to get the exact needed until next time. He's efficient like that, I suppose. Though he does take his time.
The few times I go with him, I understood why. Lots of women his age always want to stop and talk with Dad; neither of us knows why.
Add that to the fact that he checks each ingredient like it is poisoned, and you spend two hours shopping for ten items.
My solution has been to send him out after all the mother's rush hour and give him a time limit as if it were a mission. Funnily enough, that works splendidly.
Today's meal (Music) /6zETNkbmb2A
Bonito, check.
Soy sauce, check.
Soba noodles, check.
Six jumbo shrimp, check.
Flour, eggs, and Sake, check.
Dad got everything I asked for; I'm a proud son this day.
He's probably out right now, and Taiga will be here shortly from the Kendo club. This meal is her reward for being undefeated; we've been doting on her pretty hard recently.
I once thought that I could handle her because she was a girl, but I wrong. She was much closer to being a real tiger than she was a human girl.
And yet, she complains that she can't get a boyfriend. She was the granddaughter of the local Yakuza boss, and her only talents were being a terror with a shinai and lazing about.
Due to her mascot status, anyone who would want to be her boyfriend would have to go through the entire town first asking for permission.
She hates her nickname yet plays into it so much it can't possibly be accidental. So I won't sympathize.
As I am in the middle of preparing dinner, dad arrives first.
"What is that smell, Shirou? there is a good aroma coming to the house."
"I'm making that recipe I found, as I told you." It's probably the bonito, it smells a little fishy in a good way.
"I see, try to finish as she arrives. You know that Taiga-chan can't handle having to smell her food for too long." There have been times she tried to hasten the cooking prices and messed me up.
She learned her lesson when she received burnt food those nights.
"Leave it to me!" I carefully keep to my internal recipe as I start to cook the soba. At the same time, combining the flour, eggs, and water to make a tempura batter.
Not long after, she arrives, just in time as I finish the batter, ready for frying.
Gentle Everyday (Music) /kccABsrrBmU
"I'm here!" The door slides open, and Taiga enters, whirling off the walls.
"How's it looking, Shirou?"
"I'm just about ready, I timed it up for your arrival."
"Oh, you sweet boy, Onee-san is very happy with you!" she is almost ready to jump into the kitchen area, but dad reminds her of the rules, holding her arm.
"Taiga, remember the rule, Shirou is the only one allowed to enter the kitchen."
"Yeah, but-!"
"No exceptions." I speak up.
"Ughhh, fine." She falls, sitting on the mat.
Taiga tells us all about her upcoming match as I fry the tempura and finish cooking the soba.
Leaving me with three bowls of Toshikoshi Soba, something not that expensive but utterly delicious.
For me, cooking is a skill I'm proud of on the same level as magic.
Bringing out the dishes, I arrange them in front of us and start our meal.
"Itadakimasu!"
"Itadakimasu!"
"Itadakimasu."
Two of us were a bit louder than the other voice.
Taiga received three Shrimp, Dad got two, and I took one for myself.
"Shirou! you're... a growing boy, you can't... leave yourself with only one." Fuji-nee says as she gorges herself on one of her own.
"I'm fine, I just figured since you always steal from my plate anyways that I might as well give it to you in advance."
"Are you saying I'm fat Shirou!?" No, I'm not saying that.
"Taiga-chan's right Shirou, you're a growing boy, here take mine." Ignoring Taiga's outburst, he took one of his pieces and gave it to me.
"Are you sure, Dad?"
"It's fine. I'm not that hungry today." recently, he had started eating less than he used to.
He was a little thinner than he was too.
Completely ignored, Fuji-nee just pouted. She still got the most food in the end, so I don't get her problem.
"Anyways, Shirou, I swear I saw you on the bus earlier. Isn't that weird?" Fuji-nee said as if she had seen a UFO.
"That because I was on the bus, you know I like to take a walk across the city sometimes... haha." I laugh nervously.
I've been going out every day recently.
"Oh yeah, I should go with you again sometime, just like the old days." good, shift the focus of the conversation.
But Dad never seemed to follow Taiga when she changes the topic, "Where do you end up on these walks, Shirou?"
"Oh, err, I like to see the big buildings..." I wanted to say 'To see mom.' but I know that I need to keep it a secret.
His face didn't betray any belief, but I think he knew the truth of where I was going.
"It's alright, Shirou, as long as you stay in sight of the older students and take the bus home."
"Yeah, I do that. But Fuji-nee, if I can recall, you got tired halfway there and begged me to carry you the rest of the way. you are bigger than me, you know."
"Grrrrrrrrrrr." Taiga growled at being embarrassed in front of Dad.
"Remember Shirou, Tigers are meant for short-term sprinting, not long-term walking," Dad said matter of factly as if we were speaking of a zoo animal.
Before I let her recognize that he had secretly called her tiger, the forbidden word, I quickly changed the subject.
"Anyway, I was thinking I should make some friends at school."
"Why do you think that, Shirou?" Fuji-nee's eye perks up, and her general growling ends, she has a teacher-like look to her.
"I-I don't know, I think I should meet people my own age from time to time..."
"What have I done wrong, Shirou? Have I not been enough are you telling me I can't come anymore?" All I said was I wanted to make some friends...
"No to all of that, I-Its just that... you're my big sister, not my friend." Surprisingly, that seemed worked and she seemed to calm back down.
"Oh, that makes sense, Shirou. Do you know what that means though? That no matter what, you'll never be able to tell me to stop coming over. You cant deny family, can you? So I'll allow you to make friends, as long as I have the final say if they want to come over for your birthday." She acted as if she were my guardian.
My actual guardian was silent the entire time, but with the new silence he spoke up.
"That sounds good, Shirou... It's just that... I'll be leaving on another trip to Europe in October, I won't be home for a little while."
"Kiritsugu-san... what about Shirou's birthday...?" I knew he wouldn't stay forever. October twentieth was just another day anyway.
"I don't know, I hope I can come, but you know..." He rubbed the back of his head and smiled.
"But!-" She was going to say something, but I interrupted her.
"Fuji-nee, it's fine really. We don't even know what my real birthday is, after all. I'd much rather hear another great travel story from dad; we can figure something out on our own, cant we?" Although, there was truth in what I said, it was also true that I would feel a little lonely without him there.
"Fine..." Taiga relented at my request.
All of us finished with our plates; Dad quickly gathered them up and excused himself.
I understood what he was doing.
He had left Fuji-nee in a poor mood and was dumping the responsibility off on me. I was happy to do that for him.
"I should retire. Sorry, can you two clean up."
"Sure..." Fuji-nee saluted and sat right back down as she did her job of supervising me as I cleaned up.
"Good night, Shirou." the glint in his eye a soft apology for leaving me to face the wrath of the tiger of Fuyuki alone.
He turned to Taiga.
"Good night Fuji-nee."
"Oyasumi!" I called out, leaving us alone in the kitchen.
Taiga picked at her teeth to relive the flavor as I did all the actual cleaning.
We were the only ones here.
So of course, that meant she was going to ask something ridiculous, "Shirou, your a boy, right?"
"Yes, Fuji-nee, I am a boy."
"Excellent! So tell me, how do I get a boyfriend?" she got right to the point.
It's been the same source of trouble for her recently.
"Fuji-nee..." I finish up the dishes and put my apron away.
"All my friends are in relationships, but nobody has asked out! Every time a boy comes near me, I show off my kendo move, but they're never Impressed! They just run away! So please, Shirou, tell me the secret!" I knew that the second I left the kitchen area, I was going to be tackled by her and shaken until I gave a good answer.
But I do it anyway because it's the least I can do is try to help Onee-san out.
And she certainly does tackle me, bring me down into her clutches.
Glomp.
Some monster bites my shoulder.
"Hey, no biting!" it's not deep enough to bleed. So she's not that crazy at least.
"Waaah! What do I do, Shirou?"
"Listen... why don't you act... more like a girl?"
"But I am a girl?" you act like a tiger, though.
"Yes, but maybe all the boys see you more like a tiger and less like a girl."
"Don't. Call. Me. Tiger!" I had to do it, even if I knew it was her cue to go berserk.
She starts to shake me again, but at least no more biting.
"Sorry, sorry. I'll tell you the secret." I save myself with some masterful manipulation.
"Tell me, how do I make them see me as a girl?" Quick, figure something out...
"Umm, how about... wear a dress or something?"
"Wear a dress? warriors don't wear dresses!"
"That wrong Fuji-nee, I heard that the ancient Celtic warrior women wore battle dresses." I'm glad I read that historical picture book in school.
"Really? Hmm, that might be it then... In fact, that's a great idea! I'm going get Grandpa to make a special dress, just you wait!" But you know... you didn't have to get on top of me for all that.
"That sounds excellent, Fuji-nee, so why don't you let me up now?"
"Fine... it's too bad you're my otouto, every time I see a boy, I just judge them against you, and they're always not enough. They can't cook for me, they can't escape my Shinai for as long as you can, they don't appreciate being tackled and bitten on the shoulder. It's really a big problem."
I'm starting to think it's going to be a very long time until Fuji-nee can find that special someone...
'Hang in there, Onee-san, I'll be there for you until then!'
"Well, I should be off now. I have a match tomorrow. Thanks for the idea!" Just as she arrives, she left with an energetic jump out the door.
"No problem, Fuji-nee!"
She didn't bring up anything from earlier; I think she was trying to distract me or make me feel better. It's fine, Fuji-nee, you don't have to be such a worrywart.
The next morning, as Fuji-nee has her match, Dad and I mirror her in the dojo with one of our own.
But as usual, it's less of a match and more of a beatdown.
I try my best, but what can I realistically do other than take his attacks the best I can.
"Haaaah!" I try and hit him on the side, but he moves out of the way easily.
Coming at me, he thrusts the shinai forward, unlike what you would normally see in kendo, and pushes my chest with the tip of the bamboo sword.
I start falling back, but I'm able to keep myself up by pushing my own sword to the ground behind me as to work as a third leg.
But that move leaves me completely open to attack, and Dad is an unforgiving opponent.
"Take this, Shirou!" He swings his sword down in a killing blow towards my head.
My body, sensing danger, spins itself back, losing my balance and falling but avoiding the fatal attack.
When it does arrive, it's a bite onto my back, sparing my head of possible brain damage.
"Owwie..." The flesh of my back stings as it's been powerfully slapped by the Shinai.
Yet the power still didn't conform to my expectations; it should have been much harder.
"Are you alright, Shirou?" Dad spoke above me, some small kindness in his voice.
"Yeah..." I can take it.
"That was good Shirou, I've been impressed by your progress lately." Huh? I'm still getting beat on in these matches of ours.
"You were willing to take the hit to your back, but you protected your head; why not try to avoid it entirely?"
"I didn't want to get hit there, so I moved without really thinking about it... I just didn't think I could have avoided it entirely." I didn't have time to think about it.
"That was good then; your body is starting to develop its own instincts. Every time you are hit, your body will remember it. Eventually, it will act on its own to save you. Your body will almost always move faster than your mind, so trust your instincts, Shirou."
"Shouldn't I simply learn how not to get hit then?"
"You must first be hit to know how not to be." That makes sense, err, I think.
"But isn't fighting bad?" I don't want to unless I have to.
"Magic is a struggle; there are times when fighting is unavoidable. For a magus, that means to fight to the death."
'It always comes back to death, doesn't it?'
"Even if it just a shinai, you can still understand the flow of a battle with it."
The sweating pouring off of us both, dad put away the weapons.
"Taiga-chan is coming soon, I should go prepare." He started to turn away, but I had something to say.
"Wait..." Now is the time to go for it.
(Music end)
"Huh? What is Shirou?"
"Err, well... Can you form a magical connection to me so I can open my magical circuit?" The words I was told to say flow from my mouth.
"What? that is..." I don't think I had ever seen Dad so flabbergasted in the time I've known him.
"That's... how did you think of such a thing?"
"Uhh, I just thought about it, is all."
"Really...? that's something I would never think of." And the face he made was a little sad.
"It's my fault that I'm talented enough to do it myself, so it's not your fault Dad." What I thought was a really grown-up thing to say just made him seem more depressed.
"Sorry about that..." He looked like an embarrassed older brother, rubbing the back of his neck like that.
"It's okay, I wouldn't have been able to learn in the first place without you."
"You are kind to say so, Shirou... It's quite the idea really, I say we try it."
"So... what do we do?"
"Hmm, I'll make you some tea first, then I can do it. I'm going to insert a part of my magical crest into you."
"B-but I thought you said that would ill me?"
"No need to worry, it will be a little like being zapped by electricity for but a moment. Even if your soul rejects, it will be very brief."
"Okay, so what do I do?"
"Wait for me here, ill be out with the drink, uh and take off your shirt." alright...
"Okay."
Ten minutes later, Kiritsugu came back with the Umekobucha tea. My shirt was off; I had developed a pretty nice body since I started walking and training every day.
On my worst days, the times I wake up screaming and sweaty, Dad will make that for me, I'm not too fond of the taste, but it does leave me feeling very calm. I'll never understand how magic can create something so amazing, yet apparently, all magi seem to want to do is destroy things.
"Here you are Shirou, this should make it easier on you." He handed the draught.
"Thanks..." Why he added that green tea flavor, I will never understand.
I drank it up slowly, pushing through the bitter kelp taste. It's a magically devised medicine, maybe I should ask Dad to teach it to me some time.
Waiting for a minute, Dad sits behind me, it's a little weird with my shirt off, but we did do something like this once back when he first started teaching me.
It's only been a little over... three months? since then. But ever since I started seeing Iri, time seems to be moving fast.
"Shirou, to do this, I will need to sympathize with you. For the briefest of moments, our souls will be connected, and I will give you a surge of my own magical energy. That should open your circuit up; it will be your job then to switch it off."
"I got it." he brought his palm to my back. I didn't feel anything special, though.
Ocean of Memories(Music) /dzvepO-eEHA
"Alright, now close your eye, Shirou. just let yourself drift."
'Alright... just drift... drift... drift...' The calmness spread throughout my body. Everything felt very weightless.
What did Kiritsugu mean to me? He was my hero, my savior. He is everything I want to be when I grow up, and he is almost everything I already am.
But do I understand him? I want to. But I just don't get it, I need to see what he has seen. Then I can be at his level.
"Shirou, You will feel strange for a second when I start. I don't know what will happen but allow yourself to drift; I will keep you."
I trust you.
"Veröffentlichung." His voice came with a shock.
I felt a brief surge into my back then... I was falling, slowly drifting in a stream.
I was someplace strange, not the world of dreams but a river, a flow from one place to the other.
The river wasn't right, it was maligned. A great dirtiness obstructed the flow, And I was engulfed in it here.
But it didn't reject me, or perhaps it couldn't tell that I was anything different from it. Crawling to me, the last vestige of pureness approached me, something like a whale, struggling on solely through its own vigor.
It swallows me whole, finalizing the brief connection.
Still communicating a gift on its way out...
A painted picture of his life, a memory brought to me.
The grey man walks with a small white girl in a purple winter coat on an icy trail.
A faint smile on his face as she quickly scouts in front of him.
"Okay! I won't lose today!" The girl runs ahead energetically, her face as serious as possible, searching the trees.
Dad looks up and stops, "Oh, found one."
"No way! Where!?" Her purple dress spins as she runs back to her...?
"I'm pretty sure I didn't miss any!" she comes to his side and looks where he has stopped.
Crouching down to her level, he points up towards a small frozen branch above them.
"That's today's first walnut bud." Her eyes pouting as she is clearly not happy having fallen behind.
"That's one point for me." Dad triumphantly says.
"I-I won't lose!" She runs off, looking both ways to find her own.
Turning past a tree ahead on the trail, she stops and declares happily, "Found one!"
"Ilya found one too!" She sang in her own triumph.
"But I already found two." A second passed before her face turned to shock, and she ran back to Kiritsugu.
He waits by a different branch waiting for her.
"Uhh, that's not a walnut." she said, unhappy with him.
"No, Ilya. that one's called a Wingnut. It similar to a walnut..." he put his hand on her shoulder.
"That makes it a walnut bud, too." Then, turning away from him, she denied him.
"No fair...! No fair! No fair! Kiritsugu has been cheating this whole time!" Her yells echoed throughout the woods.
Resigned, he admitted, "But Daddy has no chance of winning otherwise."
The girl closed her eyes and crossed her arms around her chest, "Hmph, I won't play with you anymore if you keep cheating!"
Dad had no way out but to concede, "Oh no! I'm sorry, I apologize, Ilya."
Opening one of her eyes and talking a little sweeter, she continued, "Do you promise not to cheat anymore?"
As if in prayer, he held out his hand, with a strange mark, out in apology.
"I promise."
"Very well, a champion takes on all challengers!" Any sign of mistrust gone, she proudly puffed out her chest and closed her eyes.
"Indeed, I am honored..." Then, as she was distracted, he moved in and picked her up, putting her small stature on his shoulders.
"...My princess!" he laughed.
"Ahhh, I'm so high up!" And as they walked on to find the walnuts together, the vision ended as if its power had been taken out of the socket.
"Ahhhh!" I jumped up from where I was lying.
Dad wasn't far away and caught me.
"Don't get too unsettled, Shirou; you'll feel a little strange for a week or so as your body adjusts to it." I knew what he was talking about, I felt like that rod was inserted in my back, but it was perfectly stable.
"I-It worked then..."
"Yeah..." Dad seemed off, though.
"D-did you see anything Shirou...? No, forget about it, Shirou." He stood up and looked away.
"..." I did see something... something that leaves me with a lot of questions...
"I-I..." I want to say something, but before I muster the courage, Dad simply excuses himself.
"I have to teach Taiga-chan English, I'll check on you later." He abruptly walks off, not looking back at me.
"..." No, I shouldn't say anything... It's not my place to know everything...
The next weeks spent training are the most fruitful by far, with a working circuit. I'm able to actually learn the Fundamentals of magic as I don't have to put all my energy into creating a manual circuit every time.
I want to know who she is, Illyasviel... I don't have the courage. It slowly becomes a burden on every conversation with Dad. I almost feel better when he leaves for Europe. I hate myself for that.
Irisiviel must know something, they look nearly identical after all.
It would be November before I resolved myself for an answer, after Kiritsugu returned looking unwell for the second time.
Author Notes.
This was originally the first part of the next chapter, but I think that it works better standalone from the next. Otherwise, it would be too much at once.
The mana transfer is more rudimentary than the one that Rin does with Shirou. All Shirou needed was a big jolt to force open his circuit for the first time; Rin's gave Shirou a direct path to her magical reserves for a few hours. Kiritsugu wouldn't know how to do such a thing in the first place.
Kiritsugu has a very mistaken understanding of magic as he has received no real education. And when he was with Iri, he was busy brooding in her embrace. Kiritsugu is the sort of guy who is constantly in alert mode unless he is in a very tranquil environment.
He only really gets that when he's at dinner with Shirou and Taiga or alone with Iri. I don't think he ever knew how to really handle Ilya, and now he'll always feel sad with every mention of her unless he can do something about it.
This does have some implications on Shirou's ability in magic; for one, the quality of his circuits is not as low as they did not atrophy as badly.
I'm about half done with the next chapter, so expect that sometime next week or so.
As always, Favorites and Follows fuel me, and reviews are very nice to receive.
I love to read your reviews, otherwise, I can't know how you receive my story.
If anyone wants to be my beta reader, I would take anyone who would want to do that. Otherwise, I'll have tto find one at least when I finish the first act.