As Thor ran like he had never run before, Loki awakened twice in his arms, and twice Loki screamed in pain, yet the latter scream was a mere shadow of the former. One pale hand lost precious grip around his midsection and when it slipped out from Thor's clumsy bridal carry and hung loose, Thor tightened his hold and let a roar – "Loki, don't you dare. Stay awake!"
Running and half-flying just a few steps ahead, Stephen had never been more relieved to see the gates of the Healing Halls. Bruce, likely having heard Thor's bellow, was already at the door, gowned and gloved.
"Dr. Banner, Code Red. Severe abdominal pain, minutes after fall from a height of about ten feet. Landed on his back. Glasgow Coma Scale 13 over 15 as off a minute ago, injuries sustained whilst in battle yet unknown. No evidence of any external bleeding except a laceration wound across the palm of the left hand – " Thor laid Loki gently down on the cot, and Stephen quickly got to work. "You. Scissors."
"Okay guys remember the drill, Primary Survey, quickly now." Stephen half-listened as Bruce droned on and gave out orders to his team of Healers, "Get me a blood pressure and the heart rate, use the high-flow mask, start the oxygen at 10 litres per minute and titrate, pulse ox is...88%? Okay, let's crank it up to 15 litres please - " and proceeded to cut Loki's trousers and clothes, using magic to ease the scissors through the seiðr-fortified leathers so they cut like butter despite his shaking hands.
Loki's torso was clean, his ivory skin unbreached, no doubt due to the protection conferred by his armour. His chest albeit shallowly, was still rising and falling at a normal rate. None of his limbs looked broken or deformed.
"Valkyrie, Thor, help me bend his knees and lift his legs, I need to see if he's bleeding." All pretence at modesty abandoned, Valkyrie and Thor stepped forward and each grabbed a milk-white thigh and pushed it upward into the lithotomy position. Stephen pulled in the examination light closer. To his relief, Loki was not bleeding from down below, but his relief did not last long.
"Blood pressure is 95/70, heart rate is 170 beats per minute, Doctor," a Healer reported. Banner exchanged a look of alarm with Stephen. It was way off Loki's baseline readings.
"Are the intravenous lines in? Good. Push 500cc of Hypertonic Saline now, we need to get the BP up."
"Hypertonic?" Stephen looked up, covering Loki from the groin below with a sheet.
"Loki's blood has a higher osmolarity than our physiologic 0.9%," Banner explained, "Is he bleeding out?"
"No. But he's bleeding somewhere." Stephen ran around the table, "You, you, you and you. Head, shoulders, hips, legs. Let's log-roll him now, on one, two, three-" Stephen examined the full length of Loki's back for any wounds and steps in the spine, although the likelihood of neurogenic shock was far-fetched, not with a heart rate that high –
What was he missing?
Whenever you're stuck, go back to Primary and Secondary Survey, a voice spoke in his head – it had been so long since Stephen's A&E rotation as a surgical intern, he was used to receiving his patients all diagnosed up for him and ready to be cut. Not to mention his obstetrics knowledge was very limited save for what he remembered from medical school and very brief internship but Stephen knew he could not let Loki down, not this time.
He ran his hands down Loki's abdomen again. Now that Loki was unconscious and unable to hold his glamour anymore, his bump was prominent for everyone to see and Stephen's heart began to race.
"Dr Banner, when you examined Loki the day before yesterday what was his fundal height?"
"Sixteen centimetres on the dot, corresponding to the expected period of gestation of sixteen weeks, give or take a few days. Why?"
Oh no.
"I think he's abrupting." Stephen was sure of it. Loki's bump was now of the size corresponding to a 20 weeks' pregnancy, and his abdomen was hard as a rock. Stephen held trembling fingers to his temples, desperately scouring his brain for any scrap of information, long archived into the deep recesses of his mind to try and fix this -
"What? What do you mean?" Banner had now replaced the face mask with a bag-and-valve mask, cupped tightly over Loki's nose and mouth, and was rigorously bagging away; Loki's respiratory effort was faltering, but soon the dropping pulse oximeter ceased its alarmed beeping as the oxygenation level picked up again.
"It's abruptio placentae." Stephen's heart hammered in his ribcage like a drum, his face hot, his chest so tight he could hardly breathe. It made perfect sense, the severe abdominal pain, the signs of hypovolaemic shock, the larger-than-date and the wooden hardness of the uterus, the fall, oh my fuck the fall – "Most likely the placenta separated as a direct consequence of that fall he took."
"Oh shit!" Banner cursed. "Are you sure? You said he wasn't bleeding!"
"What, what does that mean?" Thor demanded. "Strange?!"
How to put it in a way people could understand?
"It must be a concealed abruption." Stephen gestured frantically in the attempt to convey the information, knowing he was offering little in the way of explanation; his hands were shaking too badly. "He's bleeding out internally into the potential space in between the afterbirth and the inner wall of the uterus, womb, whatever you call that muscular organ where the baby lies."
I am going to lose our baby.
If the baby stayed in, there was no doubt that he would die from hypoxia; take him out and the extreme prematurity offered no hope of survival at all.
Either way, he was going to lose.
And if Stephen could not stop the internal bleeding, he would lose Loki too.
I am going to lose them both.
"No, Stephen. Wipe that look off your face!" Thor slammed a hand on his shoulder, jarring it so violently a jolt of pain shot through Stephen's entire arm. "There must be a way to save him. Brother, please –" Stephen's eyes suddenly smarted, he was definitely not expecting that. "You are Loki's only hope! My only hope!"
"Thor…" a soft whisper drifted from the cephalad direction of the bed.
"Loki!" Bruce moved from his position standing behind Loki's head to the side, giving way to Thor as the Thunderer's face loomed over Loki's looking down at him upside down, his giant hands cradling the sides of Loki's face as best as he could without obstructing the oxygen mask.
Loki could not speak, his eyes bright with tears, but to Thor's conflicted dismay, they were not tears of pain.
"No, don't you give me that look." Thor shook his vehemently. "Not from you."
It was the look that marked the disappearance of pain and the giving way to absolute calm and peace. The final look.
He had seen it once, on the desolate fields of Svartalfheim.
Loki had been bleeding to death then, too.
"Never again, Loki. You promised."
The dam finally broke and silent tears ran down the sides of Loki's face.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Loki's head began loll to one side, his eyes losing focus. Thor began to chant- "No. No, no. Loki. No."
"Blood pressure has gone down to 80/60, heart rate now 55. He's hypotensive and bradycardic, we're losing him, Strange!" Bruce said urgently, trying very hard not to panic himself. "Have we finished running the saline? Okay, push some colloids now, 2 pints of Gelofusine, run them simultaneously - Get the crash cart ready!"
"I'm getting ready to intubate, Strange." Bruce's veins were turning a threatening shade of green against his neck. "What's the plan here? Emergency section? Hysterectomy? What?"
Stephen slapped the sides of his face twice and hard. Breathe. Control.
You've got this. You are Doctor Stephen Strange. What are you doing? Are you giving up?
You don't know the meaning of the word.
"Wong. Come here." Wong who had just returned from attending to Mordo in the next room came closer.
Stephen gave him a brisk nod of the head, and at his signal, Wong slammed the heel of one hand full-force into his chest.
There was a collective gasp all around the room as Stephen felt himself hurtled out of his body, the weightless sensation a sheer respite from the foreboding heaviness of flesh and blood.
Valkyrie and Bruce were staring at him open-mouthed as his astral projection hovered over the gruesome scene below. Thor was in a world of his own, slumped face-down, forehead-to-forehead onto Loki's listing head. Stephen swooped down, trying to not think of the deathly pallor of Loki's still face.
"Illuminare," Stephen whispered, gently sliding two fingers an inch below the navel and right into Loki's bulging abdomen.
"Do you see that, Wong?" The spell transilluminated the insides of Loki's pelvic cavity and he immediately detected the pathology; with a twist of his fingers, the holographic 3D image of Loki's womb rotated 180 degrees, glowing a golden iridescent yellow but for the dark, ominous pooling of dark matter that could only be blood, concentrated in a particular area on the back wall of the uterus.
"See where the placenta separates from the posterior wall of the uterine cavity? It looks like a partial separation, it has not detached entirely at least – the uncontrolled heart rate must have been pumping blood non-stop into the space, explaining the amount of blood, there, right there-"
"I see it." Wong studied the hologram carefully. "Looks like the source of bleeding is localised but I think there is quite a significant number of torn vessels."
"If we can catch the bleeders, arrest the haemorrhage with a haemostatic spell, repair the damaged blood vessels, re-establish the vascular anastomoses between the foetal and maternal circulation, restore the lining of the uterus with a regeneration spell-"
"Then try to liquefy the clot," Wong murmured, catching Stephen's drift. He was a Master in healing spells and had taught Stephen most of what he knew. "Purify it and hopefully resorb the blood back into the circulation because that looks like he's lost at least a litre." Wong stared at him. "Are you sure you want to do this?"
Stephen knew just what Wong was asking. Delivering the baby now to save the mother's life was what any other doctor in his position would do.
"Wong, look. That is my son in there." Stephen's eyes brimmed with tears. He could see the outline of his baby, small and perfect, his heart still beating furiously, still hanging in there – he was in the biggest dilemma of his life and all he could think of was the strong beating of that tiny, tiny heart.
"Loki will never forgive me if I don't at least try."
"Let's do this then." Golden circles of energy bloomed from Wong's fingers and he concentrated working his magic over Loki's abdomen.
"Thor, step aside. Now!" Stephen heard Bruce snap suddenly.
He swooped back down into his body and clumsily scrambled to his feet, before pushing Thor physically aside. "Let me see." Out of the corner of his eye, Stephen saw Valkyrie circling her arm around Thor's waist and cajoling him to stand back to let them work.
"He's stopped breathing." Stephen felt the words but let them run over him like water; this was just another patient, another day at the hospital. He would not lose himself to panic. He could not.
"Steady, Dr Banner." He handed him the laryngoscope, his hands shaking and numb. Loki's head now tilted back, he watched as Bruce inserted the laryngoscope gently, his face tight with determination. "You've preoxygenated him sufficiently. Easy does it. You need help with cricoid pressure?"
"No, I can see the vocal cords." Bruce reached out a hand, and Stephen chose the appropriate-sized endotracheal tube and placed it in his hand. Bruce slid it in with ease. "I'm in." He reconnected the oxygen tubing to the end of the breathing tube and bagged again, sighing in relief as Loki's chest began to rise symmetrically and the oxygen level picked up again.
"How is it going, Wong?"
"It's going," Wong answered tersely. By then, two other Healers had joined him and Loki's entire torso was enveloped in a golden dome of healing energy, thrumming with magic and seiðr. "The active bleeding's largely stopped, but it's still oozing and he's still losing precious blood. Now stop talking to me."
Stephen was about to join Wong to help him when a Healer suddenly called out in alarm, "Doctor!" She pointed at the glass panel on the wall where the vital signs were recorded and updated by the minute. "His Highness' heart rate is dropping. Blood pressure is unrecordable."
"No," Stephen whispered, aghast, his face white as paper. "How much whole blood do we have?"
"I've only managed to venesect three pints of blood from Loki during the short time we've been here," Bruce said, a haunted look in his eyes. He had had the insight to start saving Loki's blood for future use since they could not risk using blood products from another species for obvious reasons. "If we autotransfuse him now, that is it. We are all out."
Guess the future is now.
"Better use it now, Doctor. No time like the present," Stephen fought to keep his voice calm. A Healer rushed to a neighbouring annex and reappeared seconds later with three bags of blood in her hands which were quickly hung up on the IV drip stands.
All of a sudden, a loud beep emanated from the speakers.
"He's in asystole. Commence CPR!" Bruce handed the bag-valve mask to a Healer to take over and leaped onto the stool by the bedside, placing both hands on Loki's still chest. "Starting chest compressions."
In the background, Stephen heard a long, guttural wail. Thor.
A flicker of the overhead lights. A shadow fleeting past his peripheral vision. A whiff of sandalwood. Faint yet there.
"Wong, I have to go." Wong looked startled, before realisation dawned on him, and he nodded in mutual understanding.
"What! Where are you going?" Bruce's arms were shaking with exertion, determination and sheer will keeping him going. "Strange!"
Stephen paid him no heed. God, Ancient One, the Norns, Fate, whatever, whoever You are, give me strength. Gathering all resolve, he struck himself in the chest – and once again, he was air-borne.
Through sepia vision, he saw him.
Loki was standing at the foot of the bed, looking down at his own body. His face, pale but not as ashen as that of his mortal vessel lying on the bed, was impassive and unreadable. He turned toward Thor who by now was sitting on his haunches on the floor, his head in his hands, white-knuckled fingers all but nearly ripping his spiky blond hair off his scalp. Valkyrie stood ramrod straight next to her King, her eyes unblinking but stormy with tumultuous emotions, her full lips thinned to a tight, white line.
Loki's gaze lingered on his brother for a little while longer before his silhouette turned and slipped through the door.
Stephen flew toward him and grabbed him around the wrist - "Where do you think you're go-?"
"-ing." And found himself standing on the cliff, overlooking the ocean.
"Help me understand something, Doctor." Loki's eyes were as green as ever even in astral form as they stared out into the horizon smattered with streaks of gold and orange; dawn was starting to break. "Why do I find myself here again?"
"You're dying."
"Ah." Loki asked curiously but not overly concerned. "And you? Are you dying too?"
"Yes." Stephen's eyes filled with tears. He was speaking only the truth.
"You cannot come with me, Strange. It isn't your time."
"Neither is it yours!" Stephen grabbed his arms and whirled him around to face him; Loki looked no less beautiful in this form, an ethereal vision with face serene in the absence of pain, eyes as clear as green sapphire.
"Look at me." Stephen reached up and cradled the sides of Loki's face, recalling their son, how perfect their son had looked, willing the images to flow through his trembling fingers, "Look into me."
"Do you see it? Do you see him?" Loki's eyes, wide and unseeing, yet seeing everything all the same, widened in surprise and instantly glistened with tears. "Our baby still lives, Loki."
Silent tears rolled down Loki's face, streaking silver tracks down the hollows of his cheeks.
"You want to know what else I see?" Stephen asked fiercely.
"You speak of divination, Strange." Loki whispered, shaking his head – "You should not!"
"I hold time." Stephen pressed their foreheads against each other, and their images filtered through faster, wilder, in rushes of vivid colours – "I see time, Loki."
"I see a million possibilities, with some of you in them, with none of you in many. But there is one that I harbour the greatest longing for-"
Stephen gripped Loki's face tighter and kissed him hard and kissed him desperately, "Come back. Come back to me."
"Stephen…"
"You and me, together. We'll tell tales of magic...of sorrow and of joy…and of love - "
"Love?" Loki's lips moved soundlessly around the word.
The air stirred around them, warm and tranquil.
"I love you."
The moment the words left his lips, Stephen knew he meant them. He did not know when it started, maybe it was there from the very beginning, that perhaps from the first time he held Loki in his arms, he had wanted him. He had been blind, so blind.
Stephen did not think it possible but a chill ran down his spine nonetheless. Loki wavered and Stephen gripped him tighter, terrified to let go -
"The last woman I loved left because she could not share my world, nor I hers. But you…" Stephen's voice cracked. "Perhaps you are my gift. And I love you."
"Don't leave me. Not now." Not when we have an eternity ahead of us.
"I don't know how," Loki whispered, his voice raw with tears.
"Look for the magic. Feel the magic running through you. You can feel mine, Wong's, we are all trying to save your life. But the strongest magic is you, Loki." Stephen's breath caught in his throat. "Please, for the love you bear our son, save him. You are the only one who can."
Save yourself. Save me.
In the next instant when Loki lunged at him, Stephen was ready to catch his lips –
And Stephen found himself returned to the Healing Room, catapulted back into his body that had been dumped unceremoniously onto the floor, leaning against a medication trolley. His heart racing thunderously in his chest, Stephen clambered to his feet, his limbs clumsy and disjointed. "Banner?" He whispered anxiously.
"We're back in sinus rhythm." Bruce's grin was exhausted, but wide, the widest Stephen had ever seen him smile, "The Prince is back with us, ladies and gentlemen."