Chapter 16

At the same time

Draco felt like vomiting. Polyjuice a la Weasley tasted like roasted ass, and he couldn't get the taste to abandon him. He pulled nervously at Weasley's jumper, lent to him for the occasion. The bathroom at the ministry was completely vacant at this time of the morning, but he was still afraid someone would come in and catch them.

" It's like looking into a mirror," Weasley said with a smirk, " if the mirror of erised showed you your greatest nightmare."

" Afraid to have me running around with your face, Weasley?" Draco rubbed his now freckled hands together evilly.

" Yes," Weasley hissed.

" Well it was your idea," Draco smirked, " Wanted to win points with Granger in case she decides to take you back, eh?"

" Merlin, don't do that to my face," Weasley covered his eyes, " And I'm not. I just don't want her upset."

" Quit bickering," Potter said, handing Draco a pair of jeans, his having grown much too tight.

" Gained some weight, Weasley?"

Weasley's ears flushed, but Potter held him back, " Better get out of here, Ron, before someone sees."

" I'll be down at the store if you need me," Ron patted his friend's back, shooting Draco a dirty look.

" Now now, don't hold back for me, if you need to kiss, do it," Draco mumbled as he pulled on the jeans.

Weasley went bright red, but he left without a word.

" Oi, watch that stuff around him, Malfoy," Potter said with a sneer.

Draco lifted an eyebrow, " Interesting. Well I was just trying to get a rise out of him. Obviously if my best friend is Blaise Zabini, I have no problem with gay men. Or STDs."

" Just… be… less Malfoy today," Potter said in a strangled voice.

" What do you mean Harry," Draco said in his best Weasley impression. Weasley had a lower voice and more of a slow timbre.

Potter stared, " Well I was about to tell everyone Ron lost his voice from yelling yesterday, but that'd pretty decent. Just be careful around Gin, she'll sniff you out in a second."

" Where is the old Howler?"

" Watch it," Potter warned, " She's going to drop off our son at her mother's."

Draco knelt down to tie Weasley's enormous sneakers, " I saw that in the paper. Congradulations."

Potter raised his eyebrows, " Thank you."

" Boring name though," Draco added carelessly.

" It's a family name," Potter defended.

" Well you're the boy who bloody lived, you'd think you'd have a little more imagination," Draco replied.

" It was my wife's idea," Potter responded.

" Well do yourself a favor and name the next one," Draco said simply.

Potter opened and closed his mouth several times before settling on, " So what, have you picked names for your children?"

Draco rolled his eyes, " Don't look surprised."

" I'm sorry it's just… such a normal conversation to be having with such an unusual person."

" Likewise," Draco echoed.

There was a long pause.

" So what are they then?"

" What?"

" The names, of course?" Potter rolled his eyes.

Draco kept his eyes on Weasley's shoes, as if he needed an extra few minutes to tie them, " Severine, if it's a girl, Scorpius if it's a boy."

" Severine is obvious, but why Scorpius?" Potter asked lightly.

" Equally obvious. It's not a family name," Draco said boldly.

" Who knew? Malfoy was looking through baby name books this whole time," Potter mused with a little smile, "And here we thought you were evil incarnate."

Draco let that fall flat on the ground, standing arrogantly, " I had a lot of time to contemplate the future in my holding cell during my trial."

Potter froze, " I didn't mean to offend-"

" Well you of all people know what evil looks like," Draco replied.

" I of all people know you're not evil," Potter responded quietly.

" Alright, I'm not Weasley, none of that 'sorry about your trial Malfoy' Hufflepuffery, Potter," Draco raised his chin.

Potter nodded, but didn't respond as Draco finished with the shoes. They exited the bathroom in silence. The lobby was quiet and nearly empty except for a few early protesters, resting on the steps up to the statue, and the Weaselette (Draco just couldn't imagine her as Potter) waiting with a few to-go cups of coffee.

" Hey," She said with a wide smile, " When I didn't see you I got worried." She stood and kissed her husband deeply. Draco could feel his eyes widen involuntarily, so he looked away.

" Gin, please!" He muttered, testing his Weasley voice.

She broke the kiss and stuck out her tongue at him, " Jealous, Ronald?"

Potter laughed, flashing a warning look at Draco, " Who wouldn't be jealous of us?"

Draco stuck out his tongue and made a gagging noise, and they broke apart.

" I got you coffee, Harry, and a caramel whipped latte for you, Ron," The redhead fussed with their cups.

Potter took the opportunity to mutter in Draco's ear, " Ron has matured since second year, Malfoy."

" Has he? Caramel whipped latte?" Draco whispered back.

" Here," Ginny handed out cups. Draco took one sip and almost had to spit it back out. Merlin that was sweet! Was he cursed to taste everything Weasley-fied all day?

" Gee, thanks Gin," He said gruffly.

" Your welcome. Hey watch my things, will you, I have to go to the bathroom now," She said cheerfully, not noticing any difference.

He held his tongue until the Weaselette was out of earshot, " Hey, Potter, switch with me."

" Keep your voice down, okay? For the next few hours, you have to be Ron at all times," Potter responded.

" Your wife didn't notice anything," Draco replied.

" Well she doesn't notice her brother," Potter replied, taking another sip of his coffee, " It's Hermione you want to watch for. I don't know why you won't just tell her."

" This isn't for her, it's for me," Draco replied, " Besides, it's just a protest, it's not like we'll have a ton of time to talk."

" Yeah, but…"

" What?"

" Well there have been some people wanting pictures with us, and because I'm usually speaking," Potter said carefully, " So…"

" Oh, Merlin," Draco moaned.

Potter had the good grace to look sheepish, " That's actually why Ron was up for this, he was a little tired."

" And when were you planning on telling me this?"

" Uh… never. We just assumed you'd have to play along."

" Well you're terrible at being sneaky about it," Draco hissed.

" What are you boys whispering about," the Weaselette called.

" Oh, I was just saying to… Harry, how I think you should speak today Gin."

" What?" Ginny shook her head, " No, I couldn't."

He tried to think quickly on his feet, " Well, everyone's been hearing from Harry about it, but some people yesterday, when we were taking pictures, I mean, asked what you thought."

Potter gave him a murderous look.

" What I think?" his wife turned pink with pleasure, " Do you think it'd be a good idea, Harry?"

A voice rang out behind them, " What would be a good idea?"

Draco stiffened. He hadn't been expecting her so soon. He turned and gaped openly; that was one of the advantages of playing a Weasley. No one expected him to have brilliant rejoiners. She was wearing jeans and a long red turtleneck sweater which unfortunately hid that magnificent bum of hers, but luckily the sweater clung all along her ample breasts and slim waist. He hoped to Salazar's Sweetheart that a few of the pictures would require him to put his arm around her.

" Ron thinks I should talk today," the Weaselette exclaimed excitedly.

" Really?" Granger looked at Draco in wonder, " that's a really thoughtful idea, Ron."

Draco forced a wide toothy Weasley smile, " And then it frees Harry up to take pictures with us."

Granger laughed hollowly, " Well I knew you couldn't be completely altruistic."

Potter looked down at the shyly hopeful face of his wife, " It you're comfortable with it, Gin."

" Just for a bit," She bubbled, " It'll be fun."

" You know I could never say no to you," Potter said softly. The Weaselette stood on her tiptoes and gave him a kiss.

Granger turned away, " You guys, we're in public."

" Yeah," Draco echoed.

" Is something wrong with your voice, Ron?" The redhead piped up from Potter's arms.

" Uh, all that screaming yesterday, y'know," He said slowly.

" Oh, 'Mione, I got you a coffee," the Weaselette led Granger towards her pile of stuff.

Potter whispered " If you hadn't made Ginny happy-"

" You said not to be myself."

"- I would give you a right hexing," Potter finished with a terrible scowl.

" Should have switched coffees with me, Potter," Draco turned and peeked at the women, " Why are they whispering?"

Potter looked nonplussed, " Probably you, since your Ron voice is only alright."

" Watch it, Potter. Impugn my dignity all you like but never question my Weasley impression. I won a prize at school."

Potter laughed, " Who won for me?"

" Pansy," Draco answered, " She's very good at sullen."

" Ah fifth year, what a time to be a teenager," Potter paused and looked over at Granger quizzically, " Did Hermione seem upset to you?"

" I don't know her that well," Draco made the mistake of taking another sip of his coffee, sputtering out his last words on a cough, " And I was distracted by her sweater."

Potter rolled his eyes, " You're supposed to be her soulmate, I thought you could…" Potter waved his hands in Granger's general direction, " Soulmate her, you know."

" Never let it be said that you were not the most erudite man of our age," Draco said with a sneer.

" Ron is right, don't do that to his face," Potter squinted at him, " It's very disconcerting."

" Besides, how does one soulmate Granger? Buy her a book? Take her to the library?" Draco shrugged.

Potter raised his eyebrows, " Didn't you already do that?"

" Not to romance her, it was for research!"

" Right," Potter said skeptically.

" You are trying to matchmake us!" Draco accused.

" Christ, they're coming back," Harry whispered.

" Who is christ? You keep saying that." Draco whispered back.

Harry started to bark out laughing, and Draco pounded him on the back a few times.

" What's so funny?" Granger asked in a quavering voice. Maybe Potter was right, she seemed almost on the verge of tears.

" Inside joke from this morning," He answered in his best Weasley voice, " You okay?"

" Yes… I'm just…" She choked out the last word on a small sob, a tear running down her cheek.

" It's… Malfoy isn't it?" Draco asked.

The Weaselette shot him a look and he went on to explain, " I overheard you the other night, talking about the fight. Ah… I put two and two together and…"

Potter jumped in to help, " 'Mione, we're here for you."

She glanced around, noticing the other protesters who had begun to gather, and tried to hide her head in her hands. Potter looked at him desperately.

Oh, He thought, fine I'll sodding soulmate her.

He grabbed her into a big bear hug, using Weasley's bulk as an advantage to hide her from any audience.

She took several deep breaths against his chest, stuttering out, " I'll talk to you about it later, kay?"

" Yeah, of course, it's not the time," He said stiffly. Not only was this the most awkward thing he'd ever done. But to top it off, her magnificent breasts were pressed against 'his' arm and he feared he'd soon have to take some deep breaths of his own.

" I'm okay, I'll be okay," She sniffled and wiped her tears away with her hands, resting her head against his chest on a cushion of huge curls. Automatically, he reached into Weasley's pocket for a handkerchief, naturally finding none. He rolled his eyes.

He leaned down to wipe her face with the sleeve of Weasley's cheap jumper. He was trying to convince himself not to get an erection while a woman cried over being his soul mate, when he belatedly realized she was looking at him curiously.

" Ron," She said softly.

He straightened and cleared his throat, " You alright then?"

She nodded, tilting her head while looking up at him, " You've just never done that for me before."

Draco felt a very slight surge of jealousy, and his hand pulled into a fist. It was very slight jealousy. Almost nonexistent. Nothing, really.

Because being jealous of Weasley in this situation was actually the most embarrassing thing that could possibly happen to him.

" Excuse me," Draco felt a tap on his shoulder, breaking his concentration. It was a petite, pink cheeked woman.

" Would you mind if I took a picture with the three of you."

Draco put on his best Weasley stupid grin, " Of course."

He may have spoken too soon on the embarrassment front.