There were six hundred forty-two holes in each square of the ceiling tiles. I would know. Once again I was cuffed to the bed. For how long, I couldn't even say. My stomach was twisted in knots and my mind was replaying the scene in my head over and over again, trying to figure out how this could have been avoided.
"Say it," he demanded relentlessly.
I was tired. Emotionally. Physically. Mentally. My brain wave capacity was maxed out and felt like it had been for the last four hours. Edward was ruthless. He expected perfection - accepted nothing less, and I was a far cry from what he was expecting.
"Again!" he whispered menacingly, snapping his fingers in front of my face.
"You are my life now, Edward," I repeated, my voice cracking and my eyes shutting of their own accord.
"You don't mean it," he said sadly with a mock shake of his head. "Perhaps a few hours in lockdown will put things into perspective for you."
The worst part of all of this was that I didn't know what he wanted from me. Every time I asked, he would say that I was doing great. But then some days - like the day before - nothing I did or said seemed to please him. I didn't get it and it made my head spin.
It had been about a week since he had taken me…I think. With our days being monotonous, I had lost track of them completely. We didn't watch TV, listen to the radio, or even go outside, and I was quickly becoming sick of the silence that surrounded the cabin. Whenever Edward would come into the room I was in, I found myself wanting to talk to him. I never started the conversation, but if he asked me a question I would talk, and some days I couldn't seem to stop. Because of my inability to stop running my mouth, Edward was learning a lot about me without even trying. It was like I couldn't help it.
Our schedules throughout the day were always the same. We would get up, use the bathroom, and on a good day, he even let me shower - which would improve my day vastly. I was finding that the little things made my day. Even getting a glass of cold water was amazing, and having him feed me from his hand didn't seem so bad anymore, either. It was still odd, but it made Edward happy and I was able to eat. Lately though, I felt like I didn't know my own head anymore.
I was startled out of my musings by the bedroom door swinging open.
"Today is a good day, Baby," he said bursting into the room.
That was his new thing when he was in a good mood. He would call me baby, love, or sweetheart. He hasn't shown me any extra affection, but I was fine with that. The only incident we've had was when he kissed me on the cheek. I freaked out with the unwanted display of affection, which in turn caused Edward to freak out. Since then, he only touched me when he had to. I was pretty sure I had hurt his feelings, and a part of me almost felt bad for that, but did he really expect anything less?
"Why's today a good day?" I asked clearing my throat.
"Can you be a good girl?" he asked, beaming down at me.
"Yes…" I trailed off, not liking his smile.
"Do you want to get out here?" he asked.
For the first time in days, I smiled a real smile.
"I get to go home?" I asked getting to my knees. "Is Charlie looking for me?"
My smile faded quickly, though, as he narrowed his eyes at me and picked up his list from the end of the bed.
"Babe, do you understand that as of right now you are in your special place for six hours?" he asked, cocking his eyebrow in my direction.
When I realized that he wasn't going to be releasing me, I simply shrugged, not caring about my 'special place.'
"Fine," he snapped. "Make that eight hours. I'm not doing this with you today. From here on out, if you say anything relating to that douche bag, I will add two more hours to your list. I. Am. Your. Life. Now! You have told me this a thousand times, and yet you still want to go back to the man that beats you," he said raising his voice. "Say it."
"You are all I have. You are all I need. You are my life now, Edward. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you," I said looking down again.
"I'll be back," he said with a frustrated sigh.
As the door slammed shut behind him, I laid my head back down and allowed the tears to slip from my eyes, knowing that I messed up again. I didn't know what to do. I felt like I was always messing up. After five minutes or so, Edward walked into the bedroom with just a towel around his waist. I covered my eyes with my hands and let out a frustrated moan. Why did he do this to me? I heard him chuckle darkly, and then I could hear his footsteps as he walked around the room. This was another thing that he liked to put me through. He liked to see me squirm.
"I don't know why you cover your eyes," he said as I peeked through my fingers towards the sound of his voice. Luckily, he was still in a towel.
"Why do you insist on walking around in a towel?" I retorted, covering my eyes back up.
I could practically hear his shrug as he got dressed.
"Because this cabin is tiny as hell, and it's either dress in the small bathroom and risk falling into the tub, or dress in here where I actually have room to move around. You might as well get used to it, though. Until you earn my trust, you will be dressing in front of me and vice versa," he said.
"And what if I decided to peek?" I replied shakily.
I doubted it would stop him, but I had to try.
"Then you would get a nice peek of what you are missing out on," he replied without missing a beat.
I huffed in annoyance but didn't dare uncover my eyes. I wasn't comfortable with this, but then again, what had he done so far that I had been comfortable with?
"Come on," he said, pulling on my hands gently and forcing me to uncover my eyes.
My eyes snapped open to see him fully dressed, thankfully. I sat up as Edward unlocked the cuff from wrist and placed my feet on the ground. He kept his hand around my elbow as support in case my ankle gave out on me. By now though, my ankle was completely fine. I didn't even have a limp.
"May I ask where we are going today?" I questioned nicely, hoping to get back in his good graces.
"Home, Love," he said with a toothy smile.
My heart sank and I felt like I already knew the answer to my next question.
"Where's home?" I asked as he led me to the bathroom.
As soon as the bathroom door was opened, my eyes immediately saw the clothes laying out on the countertop. On one side my clothes were laying there. What scared me the most, though, was that my clothes were strangely familiar. The shirt was a perfect replica of one that I had back home and the pants even had the same tear in the knee - just like my favorite pair...surely he hadn't gone through my clothes at Charlie's?
"Shower, Sweetie; we have a long drive ahead of us," Edward said, snapping me out of my thoughts.
Deciding that I really didn't want to know the answer to my unspoken question, I stepped into the shower fully clothed. Once I was in the shower, I shed myself of my long shirt, tossing it out to Edward from the side before turning on the warm water and letting the spray hit me.
"So," I started again, knowing he was still in the bathroom with me. "Where are we going?"
"It's a surprise," he said as I groaned.
"I hate surprises," I muttered, causing him to chuckle at my expense.
"You'll like this one, but we do need to talk," he said as I rolled my eyes.
We always needed to talk.
"We can do this one of two ways. We can drive through without stopping to eat or use the restroom. If you have to go to the bathroom, I'll pull over and you can pee on the side of the road…" he trailed off, letting that option sink in for me.
I really didn't like option one, but depending on the drive, that might be the lesser of the two evils.
"How long is our drive?" I asked, watching as the soap from my body ran down the drain.
"I don't know; five hours or so," he stated as I rinsed out my hair.
Five hours wasn't too bad to go without using a restroom but…
"What's the other way we can do this?" I asked.
"Be good," he said simply. "No screaming or telling people lies, or even talking to anyone else. Do as you're told, simple as that."
"And if I'm good, I'll get to eat and use a bathroom?" I asked as I washed my body again.
"Yes, but you are going to have to be perfect. You are going to have a lot to learn on this drive, and it is imperative that you never forget any of what I tell you. Can you do that for me?"
Thinking over my options, I knew that if I told him what he wanted to hear and I acted like I cared about what he said, than maybe I could find some help.
"Yes, I think so," I whispered.
"You won't have a chance to run, so get that thought out of your mind now. If you think I'm an asshole now, you don't want to see me if you try to escape," he threatened.
Goosebumps broke out along my arms and legs; in that moment, I felt any hope of escaping burst. He was never going to let me go. I knew he had the means to hurt me, and that made me want to be good. I also knew he was capable of hurting me far worse than Charlie ever could or did. I knew that my shower was over, and yet I jumped when I saw his hand inside the shower curtain. He was just turning off the water, but I was always scared he was going to touch me. I was only afraid because he said I would want him to touch me eventually, and I wasn't sure that was true. He scared me more than anything. He hadn't really hurt me like Charlie yet, but he did other things to show his strength. He liked to pinch my arms and thighs; he flicked my mouth all the time, and I had a small bruise on the corner of my lip to show for it.
Really though, the physical punishments were nothing compared to what he threatened me with daily. When a swear word would slip from my lips, he would threaten to wash my mouth out with soap; something that has never happened to me before. Or when I didn't act the way he wanted or say what he wanted to hear, he would discuss the ways he would paddle my bottom like it was nothing more interesting than the weather. The ease of which he spoke of it made me even more nervous. He talked as if he had done it before, and the idea that he had touched another girl like that made my stomach churn.
I blew out a frustrated sigh and stood behind the curtain to dry my body off. Once I was done, I wrapped my hair in the towel and stuck my hand out to retrieve my clothing. I felt some clothes being placed in my hands, and as I pulled them into the tub with me, I saw that he had handed me a bra and panty set. How he got them or knew my size really didn't shock me anymore. When he handed me my jeans, I rolled up the legs so I didn't get them wet from the tub, and once my shirt was in place, I got out carefully, holding onto his hand for support.
"Ya know, when we get home you are going to have to get used to getting dressed in front of me," he said sitting on the sink.
I bristled at the thought of getting naked in front of this man. Was he serious? "If you gave me some privacy…"
"I'm your life now; you said so yourself. I think you're beautiful," he said.
I looked up to see him looking at me intently, like he was willing me to believe the words that were pouring from his mouth. Knowing that arguing would lead me nowhere, I nodded, relieved when he smiled and gestured for me to continue on with my business. I brushed my teeth as Edward sat beside me on the counter, his eyes never straying from me or what I was doing. At the moment, I didn't want to talk though, and I welcomed the silence. As soon as I rinsed out my mouth, he cuffed me to him before working his way around the cabin to make sure he had all of our stuff packed and ready to go.
I stayed by the door as he placed everything he needed by my feet. Then, grabbing my arms tightly, he led me out to the car where he cuffed me to the gear shift once more. Knowing that escaping was futile, I watched as he loaded up the back of the car before climbing into the driver's seat himself.
"It's time to move forward to your new life, Sweetheart," he said cheerfully, leaving the cabin behind us in a cloud of dust.
I sighed but said nothing, and before I knew it, we were on the highway and Edward was holding my hand in his. The ride was quiet; he didn't even turn on the radio, but I wasn't complaining because it was nice to be out of the cabin and in fresh air again. We drove for a few hours before he finally broke the silence.
"We are going to be stopping," he said, pulling into a gas station.
I looked out the window at the people surrounding the gas pumps and walking in and out of the store, and I felt a surge of hope swell through my chest. With all these people around, there was no way he could stop me from getting the help I needed. Before I could give that line of thinking any more thought, Edward reached over to the glove box and pulled out a handgun.
"What are you doing?" I exclaimed in shock and fear.
"This is for if you aren't good," he said, cocking the gun and drawing my attention to the window. "Misbehave and that woman over there will die. Do you want that to happen?"
"NO!" I screamed, turning back to him and willing him to see the truth in my eyes. "I'll be good, I swear."
"Say it," he hissed, moving the gun to his left hand while his right hand grabbed my chin, forcing me to look him in the eyes.
"You are all I have. You are all I need. You are my life now, Edward. I swear I'll be good," I said, gripping his hand tightly.
"Do not disappoint me," he said as he put his gun in the back of his pants under his hoodie.
I nodded vigorously and looked out the window once more to see the women he had pointed to a couple of seconds ago helping her toddler climb out from the side of her van. He would kill a mother? I stayed perfectly still as he un-cuffed me, not even moving until he gave the okay.
"Come on, Baby," he said with a smile, putting his arm around my shoulders.
I gasped as he pinched my arm, knowing that it was his final warning for me to behave. We walked by the woman he threatened, and I felt my stomach twist as Edward smiled and nodded at her and the little boy standing beside her. I looked away quickly, fearing that she would see the terror I was feeling in my eyes. Edward led us inside the gas station and he walked me to the bathroom door. I was happy that he didn't come in with me, but I almost expected him to.
"I'll wait for you here," he said, giving me one last meaningful look and then turning his back to guard the door.
I took my time looking around the small bathroom, seeing that there was no way to escape from in here.
But would you really try it even if there was? My subconscious asked. I shook my head, knowing that with the life of another person depending on me, I wouldn't risk it. Edward banging on the door caused me to jump. I guess I was taking too long for his liking.
I opened the door and met his glare head on.
"Did you need to go?" I asked him sweetly, knowing that he wouldn't do anything to me in a crowded area like this.
He shook his head amused, and I wondered if he went while I was in the restroom. I would keep that in mind for next time. I stayed glued to his side as he grabbed two sodas, a bag of chips, and some pizza, and pre-paid for the gas. As I got back into the car, I reached out as he handed me the food and drinks.
"Cuff yourself," he said as I pleaded with him with my eyes. "Do it," he said pinching my thigh.
Tears filled my eyes as I did as I was told. I made sure the cuff was secure, not wanting to give him any reason to go on a shooting rampage around the gas station, or something equally as horrifying. I hissed in pain at the tightness around my wrist and made sure to keep it as still as possible. He had been switching wrists, but it was still taking a toll on my skin. The pizza smell was filling the car and my stomach rumbled. I hoped he was going to let me eat, but I wasn't sure how he was going to feed me and drive at the same time. As soon as he got into the car and put his gun away, I let out a big breath.
"Um…may I have a drink?" I asked, unsure of his mood.
"Why are you hesitating?" he asked, buckling his seatbelt and looking at me.
"Because I'm not sure if you're mad at me," I said as I looked to my lap.
"Why would I be mad?"
"Because I took too long in the bathroom, and then I didn't do as you said when you said it," I explained as I looked down and away from his intense gaze.
"Fine; I'll add an hour onto your punishment time for when we get home," he said, opening a soda and handing it to me.
I internally rolled my eyes but kept a small smile on my lips. He kept referring to the place we were going to as 'home,' and it was really beginning to bother me. Surely he didn't think that my cell…or wherever he was taking me was going to become my new home? Instead of saying anything that would land me in even more trouble though, I took the soda from him gratefully and went back to staring out the window, watching the scenery pass us by.
"Thank you," I said as he took a big bite of his pizza.
As he continued to drive down the long highway, he shared his slice of pizza with me. When it came to food, I took what he offered, never knowing when I would have the opportunity again. After three slices of pizza were gone and I was comfortably full for once, Edward released my hand and moved both of his to the steering wheel, his knuckles white with tension.
"We need to discuss our story," he said, his voice hard and calculating.
"What story?" I asked, confused.
Edward shot me a look that clearly showed his frustration at my lack to keep up with his thoughts.
"I'm a prominent figure in my town," he said. "Forks is small, and gossip spreads like wildfire. I need you to know our story like the back of your hand in case someone asks you."
At that moment, he grabbed my hand in his and brushed his thumb across the back of my knuckles. "We shouldn't have that issue, but I want you to be prepared just in case, so that you're not caught off guard."
"Forks?" I asked. "Forks, Washington?"
"The one and only," Edward replied.
I pondered that for a moment. It helped knowing where I would be heading, and Forks wasn't all that far from Oregon. Getting home shouldn't be too hard.
"So...the story is that you are my girlfriend," he said as I snorted.
"Girlfriend?" I mocked. "People in a relationship tend to like one another, and they don't force the other person to be with them!" I said, laughing bitterly.
"You are my girlfriend, and when we are ready, we will get married," Edward hissed. "Don't get all defensive either, because you will want to marry me when it comes time for that."
I bit my lip to keep from crying out as he gripped my thigh in his hand, squeezing extremely hard.
"We met while I was in Portland, and you came with me of your own free will. It will be a while, but when people come around, we will show them how in love we are," he said smiling down at me.
He was being utterly serious, and that scared me more than any kind of physical punishment could.
"You will love me," he said firmly.
I nodded slowly but didn't say a word. I wouldn't have known what to say anyway. Instead, I closed my eyes and lay my head back against the headrest, willing myself to wake up from the nightmare I was living. I didn't even protest when Edward brought my hand to his, intertwining our fingers.
Edward's voice woke me up sometime later. "We only have a little ways to go now," he said gently, running his hand through my hair. "Things will be easier once we are home."
I moaned and sat up, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. Looking outside the window, all I saw was green. Green trees, green grass…even the bark on the trees was green. There was also a slight drizzle that covered the windshield every time the wiper blades moved.
"It's very…green," I said, looking over to see Edward smiling.
Without saying a word, he took my hand again and I resumed staring out the window.
Forks, Washington was a small town from what I could see as we drove through it. My heart fluttered when we pulled into the police station. This was my chance to get away.
"I just have to check in and let them know that I'm back. You're not getting out of the car," he said as my face fell.
He tightened the cuff and I winced as the metal dug into my tender skin once more.
"It's too tight," I complained.
"Make a scene and you will be in your special place for days. No food, no drinks, and no bathroom. Test me, Bella, and see how bad your life can get," he said, clicking the cuff as tight as it would go.
My eyes widened in fear from his menacing tone, and I knew that he would not hesitate to follow through on his threats. I nodded my head in understanding as he got out of the car, locking it behind him. If I tried to get out it would sound the alarm, and there was no way I could have gotten out of the handcuffs anyway. They pinched my skin every time I moved my wrist even the slightest bit.
I watched through the windshield as Edward climbed the old looking steps up into the police headquarters. He was only in the building for a few minutes, and when he came back out, he wasn't alone. He was talking with a group of men that had followed him out, and he looked so carefree. He looked young, but older at the same time. He had laugh lines and his skin looked a little aged, but I couldn't even begin to guess how old he really was. As I was staring at him, he smiled at me and then waved, pointing to me for his friends to see. A couple of them waved as well, and not wanting to seem rude or anger Edward again, I waved back halfheartedly.
As his attention turned back to his buddies, I rolled my eyes and tried to look away, but I couldn't stop watching him. He was acting like an average guy. I wondered if any of the other men knew how crazy he was. I wondered what they would think if they knew that I was cuffed inside the car against my will. I didn't get any time to entertain those thoughts, though, as Edward waved goodbye to his co-workers and made his way back to the car, smiling as he got in. I watched him as he slowly leaned over and kissed my forehead.
"Making it look good?" I snapped as he laughed.
"You're so funny, Honey," he said with a smile.
He beeped the horn of his car and waved to the other officers as we drove by. "Let's go home."
"Can you loosen the cuff, please?" I asked almost begging.
"Sure, Love," he replied, unlocking the cuff.
His happiness from being back near his home was permeating the air around us, and it was hard to not relax with his good mood. He was so happy that I almost felt excited, and that was the last thing I wanted to feel. I should have felt scared or something along those lines, but my mind wasn't cooperating. My body was relaxed, but my mind was racing.
I was shocked when we pulled into the driveway of a small white, two story house. He gave me a quick smile again as he got out of the car. I opened the door to get out just as he closed the trunk. He had the duffle bag in one hand and quickly grabbed me with the other. He ushered us to the door and set down the bag to get out his keys. A moment too late, I realized that I could have screamed; he had neighbors on either side of him and the houses were close together. I could scream and draw attention to us, but as my mouth opened, I couldn't force anything out and I had no idea why. When we walked over the threshold, I heard a beeping noise accompanied by the closing of the front door. He gripped my hand in his as he started pushing buttons on the keypad on the wall. I heard more beeping and then the clicking of locks. As soon as he dropped my hand, I moved past him and back to the door, trying to turn the handle, but it wouldn't budge; not in the slightest. I turned back to Edward, horror struck, but only saw his back as he walked away from me.
"Let's make a deal," he called over his shoulder. "If you can find a way out of this house, I will let you leave without a fight."
I stood there and stared at him, wondering if he was serious or not. Surely it was a trick.
"I'm serious, Babe," he called out from another room in the house. "You find a way out, and you are free to leave. Oh, but when you find the bathroom, make sure you go because that will be the last time tonight."
I didn't understand what he was saying because I was too worried about getting out. I walked hesitantly from room to room, looking for a way to escape. I found that the windows didn't open, and weren't even made of glass. I didn't know what they were, but they didn't look like I could break them. After walking into every room, I lost all hope of getting out. I walked into the bedroom upstairs and I saw a set of golf clubs. I quickly grabbed one and started whaling on the window nearest the bed. Nothing worked; the golf club didn't even scratch the surface. I was stuck, and there was no escaping this house; why didn't I scream when I had the chance?
"Did you use the bathroom?"
Edward's voice startled me and I dropped the club guiltily. When I was looking for my escape, I never even ran into Edward, which showed me just how confident he was in that I would never escape from this hell hole. He knew it was hopeless.
"No. Why are you doing this?" I asked, tears leaking out from the corners of my eyes.
"Because you need me, Bella," he said softly, making his way over to me. "Say it."
"I don't need you!" I cried out. "I was doing fine on my own!"
I sat on the bed and sobbed, putting my head in my hands. It was too much. This was too much too soon.
"The bathroom is right through that doorway," Edward said, pulling me up gently by my elbow and leading me to the open doorway.
I managed to get my tears somewhat under control as Edward stopped us in front of the bathroom.
"There's no door," I hiccupped, looking around as if the door was hiding from sight.
"There won't be a door in place until I feel like I can trust you," Edward said, moving us inside the bathroom.
It all boiled down to trust with him, but not once had he even tried to earn mine, and that was the last straw my emotional state could take.
"You are so freaking disgusting!" I screamed. "I would rather die than be here with you! I hate you and I will never ever say that stupid saying again! I hate you!"
I had barely finished my rant when Edward charged me, grabbing me up into his arms, his hands clamping around my wrists like a vice. I kicked and screamed and fought him with all I had as he half carried/half dragged me out of the bathroom.
"Let me show you something," he said as he pulled me to a closed door. "This is all yours. This closet is just for you and no one else can use it."
"Whoop-de-do! I get a closet! What do you want, a medal for being so caring?" I asked sarcastically.
I was done trying to keep the beast tamed. I was done with playing by his rules. We glared at one another for a moment before he opened up the closet door and shoved me inside.
"Hope you like it," he said as he shut the door.
All around me was pitch black and I couldn't see anything except for the light underneath the closet door. Freaked out, I began to beat on the door, tears streaming down my face while I screamed at the top of my lungs. I wasn't saying anything that could be understood, but it was better than being stuck in complete silence. When my voice became hoarse and my screams turned into whimpers, Edward started to speak.
"This is the special place I was talking about. I'll see you in the morning."
"No! Please, Edward; I am so sorry. I'm sorry!" I yelled, pounding my fists on the door once more, but he didn't answer me, completely ignoring my pleas.
Was he really going to leave me in here all night?
After a few more times of beating on the door and listening to see if I could hear Edward walking around, I sunk to the floor, wrapping my arms around my knees. I couldn't see anything, and I was too scared to move to try and find a way out. Knowing what I already did about the house, I knew that escaping from this closet - a place that he had designed just for me - was going to be impossible. Burying my face in my knees, I sobbed again for the life that I had lost, and cringed in fear of the turn my life was taking.
Damn Edward is a dick...
Hope you are still enjoying this. The next few chapters may be tough for some of you to get through, but it will work out in the end. I am a hea whore and one way or the other there will be one.
We want to say a huge thank you for all of your reviews; we love them. Thanks to Sally and Kasi for all their hard work! See you all next Monday!