It's been three days...I think.
Every day is the same, and they're all beginning to blend together. Even my attitude has stayed the same: shitty. I can't seem to be good. It's not just that, though. It's what is happening inside of me that is making me act out and be defiant. It's like there are two people living inside my mind. One part of my brain is completely reliant on Edward, and knows that if I'm good, then I get good things; but if I misbehave, then I am punished. Obviously I don't like being punished, so the reasonable thing to do is to be good.
But then there's that tiny voice in my head, telling me that I'm giving in to the enemy. That I needed to fight harder, but I can't remember what I'm trying to fight for. I have everything that I need here. I have food, shelter, and clothes, but most of all, I have someone that is dedicated to me and me alone. I have someone that is looking out for my wellbeing. I have someone that wants the best for me, and who cares about me. I have someone that I never had before; I have Edward. So why am I fighting? I don't know. I just know that part of my brain won't allow me to stop. Not even if it means more punishments. I do know, though, that if I get put in that closet one more time, I'll probably have a panic attack.
But really, the hardest things to adjust to are the simple touches. He doesn't stop touching me...and every time I move or try to get him to stop, he gets pissed. The first time was really bad, and I had never been more scared of Edward. He raised his hand to me so quickly that I didn't see it coming. I flinched and jumped back, which caused me to tumble out of my chair and onto the floor. I sat on the hard, cold floor, staring up at him and watching in horror as Edward went from shell-shocked to completely enraged in the span of two seconds. It goes without saying that I didn't earn my reward that particular day.
As it stands, I've had more punishments than rewards, but to be honest, I wasn't really sure I wanted any of his rewards. My butt was still sore from the spankings, and I had bruises on my arms from him continually pinching me. Who's to say that his idea of a reward wasn't a swift kick to the shins or something along those lines?
But I digress. The spankings and pinches to my arms and thighs were how he kept me focused throughout the day. Lately, I found my mind wandering more and more, and the scary thing about it was that I wasn't even sure what I was thinking about during those times.
I felt the tug of my wrist as he unlocked the cuff. Like every morning, I rubbed the soreness out without sparing him a second glance. I knew he was standing next to me; I could feel his eyes on me. I cringed internally as I felt his hands on me, and I willed myself to not move a muscle. He started rubbing my back and arms for me, and against my better judgment, my body began to relax in his very capable hands. He knew just the right areas to rub, and used just the right amount of pressure to take away the stiffness that lingered in my muscles. I closed my eyes and dropped my head to my chest, trying not to moan out loud. After a few minutes, I felt his breath against my ear.
"Say it," he whispered.
"You are all I have. You are all I need. You are my life, Edward," I said as if it was second nature.
I didn't even think twice about it anymore.
"How'd we meet?" he asked as he lips brushed my earlobe.
I shivered slightly, and I could feel his lips turn up in a smile. Was that a good shiver, or a bad shiver, though?
"While you were out of town. We couldn't be away from each other," I repeated.
"What's your name?"
"Bella Cullen," I said as I stretched out my muscles.
"Good girl," he said with a smile in his voice. "Get up and get dressed."
With that, I sat up and cleaned the sleep out of my eyes.
"You're going to be such a good girl today, I can just feel it," he praised, giving me a smile and wrapping his arms around me as I stood up.
My arms encircled his waist of their own accord, and I let my head fall onto his chest as I closed my eyes. I was still so tired.
"Aren't you?" he asked.
I nodded my head and hummed in content. I was starting to hate the feeling of disappointing him. And lately, I felt like that was all I was doing. I furrowed my eyebrows at him as he led me to the bathroom and handed me my clothes.
"No shower this morning," he said, answering my unspoken question. "Just do your business so we can get started on our day."
I nodded my head and began to strip out of my nightgown. I didn't even think twice about using the toilet or getting dressed in front of him anymore, and a part of my brain screamed at me that this was wrong - that there was something wrong with me. As soon as I was finished, he took my hand and placed a small kiss on the back. I blushed and smiled up at him. I was really starting to like his kisses…but at the same time, I hated them.
When we got to the dining room, I took my seat without being told and watched as Edward went and got our breakfast. As he sat beside me, I already knew what was expected, so I didn't waste any time.
"May I have some, please?" I asked, licking my lips.
The smile he gave me was radiant, and I couldn't help but smile in return, my stomach fluttering. I opened my mouth as he spoon-fed me, and like every other day, I ate what he gave me and asked for a drink whenever I needed one. We still had to share, but I found that I didn't mind that as much anymore. When I was full, he questioned me about it, but he didn't pressure me to eat more. Without being prompted, I immediately headed for the sink, knowing that it was my responsibility to clean up the breakfast dishes. The only problem was that I never knew how he wanted me to do them. His preferences changed from day to day.
"Do you want me to hand wash them or put them in the dishwasher?" I asked, turning back around to face him.
"Dishwasher," he said as I nodded.
I took the bowl and spoon and put them in the dishwasher before wetting the sponge.
"Do you want me to start it?" I asked as I walked back to him.
"Is it full?"
"Yes," I replied.
I began to get nervous and fiddled with the sponge in my hand. Was I completely messing it all up?
"Okay," he said standing up. "Head to the office when you're done; I'll be there."
"Okay," I whispered, walking back to the kitchen.
I started the dishes and then wiped down the counters. With one last glance around, I switched off the light and without even thinking about it, I headed for his office. Right before I got to open the door, I kicked myself for not trying to get away. The thought never even crossed my mind. What was I thinking? Was it that I knew on a deeper level that there was no hope for escape? Or was it that I was beginning to see this as my home? I was already seeing a change in myself and I didn't understand it. I shook off my thoughts and walked into the office. This time, I was met with a smiling Edward, and that didn't happen very often.
"You did very well," he said, still smiling.
I couldn't help smiling back at him. I did something right!
"Come sit and we'll start your school. Next week I think you can take your finals, but I have to talk to a friend of mine to find out how to get the final first."
I nodded in understanding and sat next to him. I wasn't too worried about the finals. I had always been smart when it came to school, but anything Science related hated me, and I just didn't get it. Edward was bound and determined to get me to pass Biology, though.
"Do this and see if anything that we went over yesterday stuck," he said, handing me a worksheet before picking up his book to read.
As I bent over my worksheet, Edward put his free hand behind my chair and began to rub his thumb between my shoulder blades. Thoughts of before flashed through my mind, when we were in the office and I wasn't expecting his touch. I was proud of myself for not flinching this time, and as my body adjusted to his though, it began to feel really good against my skin. It was oddly distracting.
I focused back on my paper and let out a sigh. I could do this. I think I was starting to get the concept of genetic paring. The whole dominant and recessive thing was so confusing to me. The only part of the whole concept I understood, was that if two blue-eyed people had a child, then their child would also have blue eyes. See? Easy enough...but other than that I struggled. While I worked on the paper, Edward played with my hair but it didn't bother me. When I was done, I handed it in to him and he started to look it over. I fidgeted as he took his time.
After what felt like hours, I finally broke the silence.
"Did I do okay?" I asked nervously.
"Yeah…you only missed one," he said, grinning at me.
I smiled widely in return. "Really?" I asked.
"Really," he said as I threw myself into his arms.
I hugged him tightly to me, and before I knew it, I was in his lap, my legs straddling his.
"Oh…sssorry," I said as I moved away. "I didn't mean to."
I was so worried that I just made a grave mistake that I didn't see the wide grin on Edward's face. Tears filled my eyes, and I just knew that I was going to get into trouble.
"Baby, I don't mind," he said, lifting my chin. "You can hug me or sit in my lap whenever you want to."
"Okay…I just didn't ask…I wasn't sure," I said as his smile fell slightly and his eyes stared deeply into mine.
"You never have to ask for affection, Bella," he said strongly. "If you need something like that, you come to me and I will always give it to you."
I smiled and nodded my head.
"Can I have a hug?" he asked.
Not wanting to deny him the way he promised he would never deny me, I reached out for him and hugged him around the neck. His arms went around my middle and he pulled me closer. He was so warm, and my body seemed to melt into his - like this was where I was supposed to be. When he relaxed his arms and let me out of the hug, I carefully removed myself from his lap and moved back to my chair.
"May I have a drink?" I asked.
I looked up, blushing, and saw that his eyes were soft; he was looking at me with such emotion that it brought a lump to my throat.
"You may," he said happily, handing me his cup of tea.
"I think I like the tea better," I commented as I gave him back the cup.
"I like them both," he said taking a sip. "Okay, let's get some more stuff done, and then we will take a break."
Within three hours, I had written an English essay, finished two math sheets, and had taken a Social Studies test. Edward was very happy with everything that I had done, and I felt a sense of pride at making him happy. The whole morning was so laid back, and it was such a nice change. After a bathroom break, we headed to the dining room for lunch. He made two triple meat sandwiches that we shared…like always. He also had some fresh carrots cut up, which was a nice treat.
I chewed silently on the last piece of the second sandwich that he had given me. Once I took a drink of the milk and set it back down, I wiped my mouth with a napkin.
"What do you want me to do now?" I asked.
It never failed to render me speechless when Edward smiled at me. It was such a vast difference from the way his face looked when he was angry. It happened every time I asked him what he would like me to do. He would become so happy from just that simple question, and it made me want to do whatever I needed to, to keep him happy. I couldn't deal with anymore punishments, and more than that, I wanted to be a good girl…for him.
"Dishes," he said thoughtfully. "Unload the dishwasher, sweep the floor, and vacuum the living room. Then I think that's it for the day. I'm going to go call my friend about your finals, and then I'll come find you. You are being a very good girl today, so please keep it up," he said as I nodded.
He kissed my forehead, but he moved quickly and I flinched.
"Careful," he warned.
"I'm sorry…I didn't mean it," I said as my eyes filled with tears.
"Don't do it again today and we will be okay," he said severely.
I nodded my head and stepped into his open arms.
"I'm so sorry, Edward," I said into his shirt.
He hugged me back and I felt him run his fingers on the skin of my back that was exposed from my shirt riding up. "So sorry," I whispered.
"Say it."
"You are all I have. You are all I need. You are my life," I said into his chest.
"Get your chores done," he said, kissing my forehead again.
I stepped out of his embrace and cleared my throat as I set off to do as I was told.
I did everything that Edward had listed, but I seemed to have gotten done too quickly. I felt like I was forgetting something. I paced the front room and chewed on my fingernails, thinking over what I should have done. I ran through the list in my head a hundred times as I felt tears fill my eyes because I knew something was missing. But what did I miss?
"Bella," Edward said, scaring me. "What's wrong?"
"I think I forgot to do something, but I don't know what," I replied as I tried not to cry.
He left me in the front room to take a look around. I wiped the tears away, knowing that I did something wrong. I just knew it.
"What do you think you missed?" he asked, crossing his arms over his chest.
"I don't know," I said as more tears came.
"What did I tell you to do?" he asked, staring down at me.
"Dishes, sweep, vacuum," I listed quickly.
"But you forgot something?"
"Yes, and I don't know what it is! I always mess up!" I said, throwing my hands in the air.
"You did forget something…" he said as I started to cry.
"Just tell me what it is and I'll do it," I begged.
Instead of answering, he just stood there and stared at me. He wasn't going to tell me what I forgot. He was going to wait until I thought of it myself. But I had no clue what I missed!
"Oh my God! Just tell me!" I yelled.
I couldn't take it anymore. My heart was beating at a dangerous pace and I was sweating. I knew the moment I lashed out that it was a mistake. Edward lunged forward and grabbed me by the arm and started pulling me with him.
"No…NO!" I yelled as I started to fight him. "Edward, I'm sorry…please just tell me what I need to do."
He still didn't say a word as he pulled me into his bedroom.
"Please…please…not the closet," I cried as I tried to loosen his fingers on my arm.
"You don't ever get to yell at me!" he said as we reached the closet.
"I won't do it again. I'm so sorry. I'm trying so hard to be good," I cried as I pulled on his arm.
I fought tooth and nail to not get put in the closet, but he was so strong.
"Just so you know, you didn't forget anything," he said as I clawed at his shirt.
"No, Edward, please," I sobbed as I locked my arms around his neck. "Please."
I clung to his neck and desperately tried to wrap my legs around his waist. "I don't like the closet."
I didn't know what else to do, and without thinking I started kissing his face. "Please don't make me go in there. Please," I cried as I peppered soft, quick kisses all over his face.
"Do you think a few kisses will keep you from the closet?" he asked as he pulled his face away from me.
I pressed my lips to his and I clung to his neck without answering. I would do whatever it took to avoid being put in there again. He surprised me, though, when he kissed me back and I found myself relaxing in his hold. He had his hand on my stomach and my arms fell from his neck to his arms. His lips felt soft and…I wanted…more? I didn't even notice him moving, I was so caught up in our kiss, that the next thing I knew, the door to the closet was shutting with me on the inside.
"Edward!" I yelled as I started to freak out. "I'm sorry!"
I pounded on the door, sobbing. "I'll be good," I cried as I slid down the wall.
My breathing started to pick up and my heart was racing so fast I thought it was going to explode.
"Edward, I'm scared. Let me out please," I begged.
I closed my eyes and just waited….
I was stuck in the closet for what I was sure was hours. I had no voice left, I was covered in sweat, and I was pretty sure my hands were bleeding from banging on the door so much. I couldn't stop coughing, and my throat was killing me. I wanted Edward so badly. I wanted out, and he was the only one that could make that happen.
"Edward," I squeaked. "I don't want to be in here," I said as my voice cracked. "Please?" I coughed. "My throat hurts. May I have a drink?"
I put my ear to the door but I couldn't hear anything. "I need you. I don't want to be in here anymore. I'm sorry; I'll be good, I promise."
With no answer or even a sound from the other side of the door, I put my head in my hands and just cried and cried. All I wanted was to get out. When I heard the rattle of the door knob, I jumped to my feet. As soon as I saw the smallest amount of light let into the closet, I pushed through the door and ran straight into Edward.
"Edward," I croaked as I clung to his shirt.
"Baby, what did you do?" he asked gently as I pushed myself into him more.
"You are all I have. You are all I need. You are my life, I promise you are. I will do anything as long as you never put me in there again. Please! I can't be in there for hours. Please, I'm so sorry," I cried as he held my hands so he could see the damage I had caused.
"I'm sorry," I whispered, closing my eyes. "I'll be good."
"Bella, Baby, you need to calm down," he said as I tried to stop crying.
He held my hand until we were in the bathroom, then he left my side for a second so that he could start the water in the bathtub. I was mildly happy that he wasn't forcing me into the standup shower. I wasn't sure if I could stand on my own for a long period of time yet or not. As the tub was being filled, he walked back to me and undressed me himself. I couldn't bring myself to argue or fight him. I never wanted to go back into the closet, and I knew that I would do anything to stay out of there. Once I was completely bare, he held my hand in his and gently situated me in the tub. He pushed the water over my body and I sunk down lower. The warmth felt so good on my chilled skin.
"You can't leave me in there for hours," I croaked as I started to cry again.
"Sweetie, you were only in there for thirty minutes," he said, pouring water over my head.
"I'm sorry," I cried as he put his forehead to mine.
I brought my wet hand to his head and started to beg. "Can you please forgive me?"
"Yes, Baby. You are forgiven. If you're really good, I will never put you back in the closet. I will still give you spankings, but I believe that you have learned your lesson with the closet…"
"Thank you," I said as I hugged him to my naked body. "Thank you."
I was so relieved that tears slipped down my face as I pressed my lips to his.
"I like your kisses," he said, causing me to giggle.
"I like yours, too," I said as I blushed.
Part of me was saying that I shouldn't like them as much as I did.
"You have done very well for most of the day, and after your bath, we'll finish up," he said as I nodded.
"Lay back," he said gently, helping me lay down fully on the bottom of the tub.
I squeezed my eyes shut as he poured water over my head, being careful not to get it in my eyes. I hummed in content as his fingers massaged my scalp, deeply working in the conditioner. Once my hair was clean to his satisfaction, he adjusted me so that I was sitting as he rubbed in the body wash between his palms. I brought my knees to my chest and hunched over slightly as he started to wash my back. His hands felt so good on my abused muscles, and I couldn't help but to relax from his touch.
"You need to clean the bathroom and our room. Then come to the office and do your reading. I would like you to try to get five chapters done."
"I can do that," I said, smiling.
He helped me out of the tub and drained it before drying me off. He gave me clean clothes to put on, and as soon as I was dressed, I started in on the chores that he gave me. As I cleaned the bathroom, I saw movement out of the corner of my eye. Edward was standing there watching me with the hair brush in his hand.
"I need to brush your hair; we don't want you to have tangles," he said as I rushed to his side.
I kind of liked it when he brushed my hair. He pushed all of my hair over my shoulder and I flinched when he kissed my neck.
"No more flinching," he said quickly as the back of the hair brush connected with my thigh.
I gasped in pain and my hand immediately covered the area that he hit.
"I'm sorry," I hissed, rubbing out the sting.
Instead of answering, he placed more kisses on the sides of my neck, and my head automatically tilted to one side to give him better access. Once he was done, he sent me off to do the rest of my chores.
I quickly got back to work, knowing that he still wanted me to read five chapters. I tried to do everything twice - just so I knew that it was done the way he wanted it. Once everything was in order, I headed to the office. I found Edward running on the treadmill that he had in there.
"Sit and read; you have one hour," he said as I nodded in understanding.
I sat cross-legged on the couch and read more of 'The Lord of the Flies' that he had assigned me.
I barely noticed when Edward finished his run, or while he typed away on his keyboard and made the occasional phone call; I got carried away in my book, not even noticing the passing time. Sitting on the couch with a book that I could get lost in and forget about my own impending future was the perfect getaway for me. It wasn't until he stood up and stretched that he caught my attention.
"How many chapters did you read?" he asked, coming to stand beside me.
I quickly marked my page and flipped through the chapters to see how many I completed, silently praying that I had done what was required. I could kick myself for not paying closer attention.
"Four," I whispered, looking up at him. To my surprise, Edward smiled and held out his hand. I placed the book in it and grabbed on to his other one tentatively.
"That's great," he praised. "You're right on track."
I breathed out a sigh of relief and smiled back at him. I held on to his hand as he led us through his office and back into the main area of the house, startled when he turned and settled down onto the couch. I stood, awkwardly wringing my hands as he situated himself, until he reached up and pulled me onto his lap. I let out a squeak of surprise and gripped his shoulders for support. It took a moment for me to catch my breath, but once I did, I was acutely aware of how intimately we were placed.
Edward's hands were wrapped around my waist and my hands were on his shoulders as if holding him in place. I coughed nervously and did my best to wriggle off of his lap and onto the cushion beside me. To my horror, though, the more I moved, the tighter his grip became on my hips.
"Edward?" I whispered as my heart beating erratically against my rib cage.
I watched helplessly as Edward brought his left hand up and traced his fingers across my forehead and down my cheek until his fingertips rested on my bottom lip. My skin burned where he touched, and my face heated up in embarrassment. But at that moment, I was just thankful that I didn't flinch and cause more harm to myself by making him angry.
I didn't dare try and talk with his finger right near my mouth, lest I accidentally brush his finger with my tongue. My eyes followed his other hand as he reached up and tangled his fingers in my hair gently, bringing his forehead to mine. I exhaled shakily, my hands clenched into fists on my lap. My eyes closed on their own accord, and I could feel his breath washing over me, his distinct smell filling my senses.
I didn't even flinch or jump when I felt his lips press tenderly to my nose. I kept my eyes shut as his nose skimmed across my cheeks to my ear.
"You are so perfect," he whispered, moving his nose down my jaw.
His other hand then moved back to my hips, his fingers pushing up the hem of my shirt so that his skin was directly on mine.
"I'm all you will ever need," he said, pressing tiny kisses to the other side of my jaw.
I took in a deep, shuddering breath and willed myself to remain perfectly still.
"You are my life," I whispered back.
I froze as Edward stilled, afraid that I had done or said something wrong. I opened my eyes when I felt Edward lean back, and saw that he was smiling, his hands placed back at my waist.
"And you are mine," he replied.
My heart continued to pound through my chest and I just knew that Edward could hear it. It sounded so loud in the silence of the room. I kept my eyes trained on him as he moved back slightly; putting a bit more room between us. My mind felt cloudy, and it was difficult to bring my full attention back on the man in front of me.
"You are so young and have been through more than what most people go through in one lifetime," Edward said, his fingers moving across my hip bones.
I felt a flare of indignation rise within me. "I'm of legal age in over one hundred different countries," I countered.
Edward chuckled softly. "It was meant to be a compliment."
I nodded but said nothing. I didn't understand him. It was like he brought me up only to force me down again, and the worst part was that I loved the compliments. I loved being told that I was brave and strong for what I went through. I loved the fact that someone was actually acknowledging me for once, and recognizing that what my father did to me was wrong. That someone was on my side.
As if he could read my mind, Edward continued. "You're brave and beautiful, and you deserve so much better than that life you had before. I will see that you have everything you will ever need. I will look after you and will never raise a hand to you in anger. I am nothing like Charlie. I hate your father for what he has done to you."
"What is your name?" he asked suddenly.
"Bella Ss-Cullen," I answered, immediately seeing what he was trying to do.
Edward shook his head, his eyes hard. "Try again. What is your name?"
"Bella Cullen," I replied softly.
"How did we meet?" he asked, leaning in closer to me again.
I let out a tiny breath, grateful that he was looking over my mistake. "While you were away at a convention."
"Say it."
"You are all I have. You are all I need. You are my life, Edward," I said as his hands moved to my own, forcing my fists to unclench.
"Charlie was an evil man, Bella," Edward said. "I saved you from him and from a life not worth living. Now you can have the life you deserve. I will treat you the way you deserve to be treated."
My mind warred inside me. Charlie was evil. I always knew it. I just never had anyone to confirm it. They all believed that he was this outstanding person who cherished and protected. They never saw what went on behind closed doors, though. Or if they did, they didn't care enough to step in.
"I'm so confused," I admitted, tears stinging my eyelids.
My mind was tired. My body was tired. I was mentally exhausted and had been for the last few years. Here was someone willing to give me a new life - a fresh start - and I was fighting him every step of the way.
But why?
Maybe because he kidnapped you! My inner voice screamed at me. Maybe because he's locked you up.
Kidnapped me from what though? I argued. From being beaten every day? From the hell that my life was before? Edward has never raised his hand against me the way Charlie always did. The worst Edward had ever done was locked me in a closet, and while I hated it, I think I preferred it over being beaten until I passed out.
"It's okay to be confused," Edward whispered, intertwining our fingers. "I'm here for you, but you have to learn how to rely on me. You have to learn that I only want what's best for you. You have to earn my trust," he said, squeezing my hands gently to emphasize his point.
"How do I do that?" I asked, tears slipping down my face. "I don't know how to be good. I try...I'm trying, but all I seem to do is make the same mistakes over and over again. I have this want…no, this need to please you, to make you happy with me and I don't know why. I want to please you, but another part of me is telling me to fight it, to fight you. But I'm so tired of fighting."
By now, I was full out crying, my head bowed and tears falling onto our joined hands.
"I don't understand," I admitted.
"You don't have to understand," Edward said, tipping my chin up with his finger so that we made eye contact. "You just have to let me guide you. Can you do that? Let go of your fear, Bella, and let me help you."
I was so tired by the end of the day and I just wanted to go to sleep. I put on the pajamas that Edward had laid out for me and then he cuffed me to the bed so he could do his thing. He took a shower, and I caught myself watching him as he came out of the bathroom. I quickly shut my eyes so I wouldn't look. I felt a tug on my wrist and my eyes snapped open.
"What are you doing? Aren't we going to bed?" I asked as he smiled.
"You were a good girl today. You only had one punishment, and that's the best you've done to date. You deserve a little something," he said, lying next to me once I was un-cuffed.
"Yeah?" I asked with a smile.
"Are you going to be good and go to sleep?"
"Yes, I promise," I said with a smile.
"Okay then, get comfortable," he said with a chuckle.
I rolled around a bit and settled with hugging half of my pillow and lying halfway on my stomach.
"Good?" he asked with a smirk.
"Yeah," I giggled.
He moved closer to me, putting one hand above my pillow while the other rested on my waist.
"Say it, Baby," he said as he snuggled into me.
"You are all I have. You are all I need. You are my life, Edward," I said as I closed my eyes.
He lowered his mouth to mine and kissed me gently. I smiled into his lips and followed his lead. I had to trust him. I took a breath through my mouth and he gently pushed his tongue in, grazing mine. I pulled back in fright, never having experienced that before.
"It's okay; it's no different than when you eat or drink after me," he said as I brought my face back to his.
This time I didn't pull away, and even put my tongue in his mouth, tasting him in a way I never had before. He sucked on my tongue and lower lip before pulling away, breathing heavily.
"Good girl," he praised, bringing me even closer to his body. "Goodnight, Baby."
"Goodnight, Edward," I whispered.
The rest of the week went really well…kind of. I still wasn't doing everything right, but I was getting better. Edward was preparing to go back to work soon, but he said I wasn't going to be alone. The thought of being alone scared me, but I wasn't sure what he was planning on doing, and that scared me even more.
I took my finals and I was so happy that I passed everything! When Edward told me how well I did, I hugged and kissed him in my excitement. He picked me off the ground and I wrapped my legs around his waist as we showered each other with affection. I was so happy, and Edward was so proud of me, that he let me sleep un-cuffed again that night. That was when I slept the best. He held on to me tighter, like he was afraid I would try to escape, but I think that helped me sleep better, too.
Friday night, Edward announced that he was going back to work the following Monday; it wasn't a very good day. I don't know why, but after his announcement, I was so bad that he almost put me in the closet again. I ended up with three spankings that day, and I didn't know what was wrong with me. When I couldn't explain it right, Edward said that I was due for my period soon so it was more than likely a case of PMS. I blushed in embarrassment that he knew the ins and outs of my body better than I seemed to.
To my surprise and guilt, Edward simply warned me to learn how to deal with it better and not lash out at him. I cried and told him I was sorry, which caused him to hold me until I felt better.
"You are going to meet my parents tomorrow," he said suddenly. "My mother will be sitting with you throughout the day while I'm at work," he said as my head tilted to the side.
"She will treat you no differently than how I treat you. She isn't allowed to punish you, but she will give me a full report when I get home. She is allowed to put you in timeout, though, so if you don't want that to happen, you need to behave," he said as I nodded.
"Can we go to the beach this summer?" I asked, suddenly remembering him telling me at the beginning of the week that there was a beach near here.
"I'm adding a reward to your list," Edward said, writing on my chart.
"What reward?" I asked excitedly.
I had been doing very well, and so far I had earned the right to sleep without being handcuffed to the bed, and had earned a little extra down time to read while Edward was busy with business.
"There's a beach about ten miles from here. One of these days I would like to take you," he said with a smile.
I felt like my grin would split my face it was so big. "Really?"
"Really," he laughed. "That is one of the bigger rewards though, so you're going to have to be on your best behavior when I have to go back to work."
I felt a sharp pain in my thigh and looked down to see that Edward had pinched me. "Ow," I said quietly.
"You need to pay attention or you are going to sleep in the closet," he said as I hugged myself closer to him. "Your day will be like it is now. You get up when Esme tells you to, and she will sit in the bedroom with you until you are dressed. We will only do your showers at night because I am the only one that can touch you. Do you think you can handle that?"
"Yes," I said.
"I will have your clothes laid out for you, so that won't change. Esme will make you breakfast, and I will give her your list of chores. Since you aren't doing school right now, you will read a book a week and write me a paper on it. If it's not completed or it's done poorly, you will be punished."
"Will she feed me like you do?" I asked, knowing that would be embarrassing.
"That will depend on your behavior," he said as I nodded. "You can talk to my mother about anything. I think you'll find that she is a very easy person to get along with, and I know that you two will become very close."
"I will be good for her, I promise," I said.
Edward smiled at me and lowered his face to mine. This was part of our routine now. We kissed every night before bed, and I was really starting to like it. I was more nervous than I let on about meeting his parents, though, and I wondered if they would approve of me…I just wanted to be good enough.
See you next week! Not much to say this week. Thanks for the reviews we love them!