Chapter 11

Distorted colors of dark jade, luminescent greens and earthy browns flashed past him. His feet were taking him through clear crystal water then muddy water. Running up banks, dodging trees with speed and clarity. For the first time in his life, he was running away because he was too scared to admit his feelings to himself.

He should of have been disgusted with himself. If anything at all he should take a stake and pierce his unbeating heart and rid himself from the creature that he is. Stefan had gotten the raw end of the vampirism curse – unlike many of his counter parts he could not control himself. It was like being addicted to the flames and enjoying the burn on the skin. The warmth, the fire, the passion of vampirism was addictive and alluring. It pulls him and he's comforted by the heat, but secretly it's killing him every time he indulges.

Caroline provoked a similar stirring within him, never had he been so aroused by the female flesh when he looked at her. With Katherine and Elena it was different. He admired their beauty and not once was he ever tempted to just let loose with them. It wasn't to say that Caroline wasn't beautiful, her beauty was one of the first things he noticed about her. He'd been watching Elena , awed at how completely different she was than Katherine and ensuring himself that perhaps he could just fall in love with her like a normal human man , when he then saw Caroline. It was at the Gilbert's funeral. Elena was heartbroken and tears were rolling down her olive skin. Caroline wasn't standing beside her, but he could see they worry and distraught on her face. She truly cared for her friend and in that second , human Caroline had shined – because that was her true face – despite all the other miss forgiving's , he had seen the Caroline that he now saw.

Vampirism had only enhanced Caroline's compassion and warmth and of course her insecurities and her neurotic ways but there was always good inside her it just needed something special to bring it out of her. She had changed for the good where he hadn't.

When the ripper took over him he just wanted to be near her and when he saw her he couldn't help himself. The ripper enjoyed the chase but the minute he had her, she merged through his flaming hell and lifted him from his demise, like water fighting for him. She rescued him and perhaps that is why he feels the way he does.

Instead of disgust and loathing he felt light, airless and happy just to be him again and not some monster that thinks terrible things and does terrible things. Caroline was his shining knight in armor. Who would have thought that?

The thought made him halt his rapid movements. Stefan sensed that he was a good twenty miles outside Mystic falls. The forest had gotten thicker and darker, meaning he was more far away from human civilization. Which was only a good thing in case he relapsed or was tempted along the way by his discomfort of Caroline.

Stefan knew he couldn't out run this. Something more was going on between them and it had happened since his humanity had been absent. Losing himself made him aware that there was more to him than he ever knew. He wasn't the same old Stefan anymore , in fact that wasn't him , there were parts of him that were true but he'd never been a martyr in his human life. So why did he become one? Why was Caroline the one rescuing him?

Caroline had never been anything else but focused when it came to her cheerleading responsibilities. Nothing had ever stopped her from achieving the perfection that she wanted. Her spirit was never down and she always go through it with a smile – no matter what ever impending gloom and doom was hanging over their heads.

But today was different. For once the cheerleading chants were giving her a headache, she wasn't interested in bossing anyone around and taking charge and coming up with new and creative moves. She just felt hollow.

As if nothing could shake her world because her world had already bounced off the Richter scale. Every thought that passed through head she condemned it because she knew it was wrong to feel the way she did. How could she live with herself is she didn't feel anything? Was this why vampires flipped the switch on their humanity? Would it really make everything go away? Make things easier?

"Caroline, are you even listening to me?" Scarlet asked as she waved an annoyed hand in front of Caroline's seemingly unblinking face.

Caroline snapped out of her stupor. She had been standing dead still and unmoving for nearly ten minutes. She must have looked dead to the world, even though technically she was dead.

"Sorry I uh spaced out." She fidgeted anxiously.

Scarlet gave her a classic, 'as if bitch' look. A look that would have provoked Caroline to go all sergeant major on their butts, because no one else owned that look as well as she did.

"You high or something?"

Caroline frowned and without thinking the 'look' appeared on her face.

"I'm captain of this team, you all lack finesse and cheer I think you should take the rest of the afternoon off. All of you." Caroline scowled giving them each the look before turning and heading off towards the showers.

"What about regional finals? They're coming up soon." Scarlet shouted out in disbelief at Caroline's attitude.

"Who said you were even going." Caroline called out, without looking back.

Ticked off that she couldn't pull off her cool collected mask, Caroline hopped into the shower and turned the heat up so much that it engulfed her in a cloud of steam. She knew what she was trying to do wouldn't help – she couldn't wash away what had happened. It was forever tattooed on her skin. It would always be there and she didn't know what was going to happen next.

After a quick shower she wrapped her towel around and with shaky legs walked towards the rows of mirrors that faced the showers. She looked at herself. Perhaps she should turn humanity off. It would be better than feeling like this. It would just be better not to feel at all.

"Caroline?"

Caroline jumped back when she saw Stefan's reflection in the mirror. He was standing right behind her. She turned around and faced him – her heart in her throat from his sudden appearance and the uneasiness rumbling in her belly because she was about to turn it all off. How could she have even thought that it would have made things better? But now was not the time to question her sanity, especially when he was standing in front of her and she was nearly naked.

"What do you want?" She trembled slightly.

"It's me … not the other me." Stefan answered.

"Oh. This isn't exactly the right time and place for this. Maybe you should just go." Caroline didn't want to look at him – she didn't want to feel the sensations of lust rising in her belly by looking at him.

Stefan stepped forward, while Caroline instinctively moved backwards. Not in fear of Stefan but in fear of herself. She didn't know what she was capable of doing when he was in such close proximity to her.

"I know. But we need to sort this out. This thing between us. I don't know what it is but whenever I'm near you …" "Stefan was interrupted by the distant chatter coming closer towards the bathroom.

"You have to go now. No one can know about this." Caroline whispered fiercely.

The last thing they needed was someone to spot them, alone together in the showers. That was considered very juicy gossip even if it was innocent, but Caroline knew there was nothing innocent going on between her and Stefan at the moment.

"We need to talk. Somewhere in private?" Stefan asked.

Caroline nodded.

"My place later? At about eight?" He continued.

"Yes." Caroline answered.

Stefan nodded appreciatively. He was surprised that she would want to meet him after everything that he had done but he knew the second he saw her that this thing was going to haunt them to their death and they really needed to figure out what was happening.

Because a world without Caroline, would be a world that he couldn't exists in.

An: Thank you so much to my amazing readers! You guys are the best Next update will happen near the end of this week – spoiling you guys with an extra chapter!