A/N: Phew, finally got this chapter done. Work has been kicking my butt big time of late. Never mind, this chapter is extra long, so I hope that makes up for it.

This is a talky chapter, everyone sitting around and talking and you know how I love my dialogue which is why this chapter is so long, I do get carried away. LOL I just want to try and do justice to all these fantastic characters and have something in there for all the fans of the different characters. I know you all have your faves. ;)

This chapter eventually gets around to progressing the story (ever so slightly) but mostly it's a chance for me to indulge myself in my love of wise cracks. LOL

Hope you have fun some fun with it too... ;)

Chapter Twenty-One

Nick Fury stood over the Avengers team as he finished his debrief on the mission and the information they had so far on Noble Maniatis. "Are there any questions?"

Tony stuck up his hand from where he was lounging on the sofa in the media room. "How did you lose your eye?" he asked with great interest.

Fury's expression didn't change. "Does anyone have any questions about the metal insect attacks?" he clarified dourly.

Tony wasn't put off by the other man's look of warning. "Was it in a training mishap where you were trying to teach gibbons how to use sling shots or spear guns or something?" asked an intrigued Tony. "I'm really hoping it was, because that just makes you so more interesting to me if that were true." He stuck up his hand again and looked even more engrossed. "Another question, did you lose the hair and the eye at the same time, because if you did, I'm going to have to revise my gibbon theory?"

Fury looked like a mother who had been stuck inside with the kids all day on a rainy day. He blew out a long-suffering breath. "Anyone else, someone who can stay on task for more than two minutes at a time?"

Steve folded his arms in front of his broad chest. "Have we got anything from the bug Natasha planted in Hammer's penthouse?"

"Teacher's pet," Tony coughed into his hand.

"Bite me," said Steve without even looking his way.

Tony gave him an impressed look. "Hey, look who's joined the 21st century with his insults. Our little boy is growing up. Next thing you know you'll be telling me you don't give a flying fuc-"

"Mr. Stark," said Fury sharply, "are we boring you?"

Tony pulled a regretful face. "A little bit, but I didn't want to mention it, that'd be rude."

Bruce shook his head and leaned back into the sofa next to Tony. "Remind me again why we rescued this guy instead of leaving him hanging in that mountain range?"

"Because you'd be lost without me, B," said Tony confidently.

"You pushed me out of a plane," said Bruce in annoyance.

"Are you still on that?" asked Tony in disbelief. "That was hours ago and besides, you're remembering it wrong, you slipped and I went to try and save you, there was no pushing." He patted Bruce's arm comfortingly. "You've just gotten confused with the transforming into the snarling rage monster is all. Don't worry about thanking me, that's what friends do for each other."

Bruce didn't seem to be buying what Tony was selling. "Don't touch me." He batted away Tony's hand from his arm.

Clint arched an eyebrow. "If you push friends out of planes, you must be pretty tough on your enemies, Stark," he noted laconically.

"Let's hope you never have to find out, Hawkeye," returned Tony easily.

Clint didn't look intimidated. "Take away that suit, Stark, and what are you?"

Thor raised his hand and looked eager to be able to participate in the conversation. "I know the answer to thy question, archer – genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist," he recited proudly.

Tony's lips twitched as the other man repeated the come back Tony had shot at Steve when he'd asked the same question, not too long ago. "Just so you know, you're my new favourite person, Thor."

"Don't let him get you near any tall buildings or planes in that case, Thor," Bruce advised him dourly. "Favourite people of Tony's tend to end up plummeting to earth."

"Thank you for your concern, Bruce Banner," said Thor, seeming to take him seriously, "but I can fly. I have no need to fear Tony Stark's friendship."

"But you can't fly without the hammer, right?" noted Clint. "What do you do then?"

"Mjölnir is always with me," said Thor simply.

"The hammer has a name?" asked Clint in surprise.

"That's so it'll come when it's called," Tony wise-cracked.

Thor shook his head. "That is not how it works, Tony Stark. My hammer is bound to my will."

Tony turned in his seat and directed his attention to Thor now. "And the hammer goes everywhere with you, right? Does that include the crapper?"

Thor looked confused by his choice of words. "What is this crapper you speak of?"

Steve brightened. "I know this one," he said excitedly, "it's another word for the bathroom, you know, the toilet." Steve looked a little embarrassed as he realised he'd been a little too excited to share the information. He cleared his throat as everyone looked at him. "Well, it is," he said defensively.

Bruce grimaced. "Do we really need to know this kind of information about each other? Can't we keep at least a thin veil of mystery between us?"

"You're a scientist," Tony reminded him. "You should be curious about these kinds of things, enquiring minds and all of that."

"The day I'm interested in another man's toiletry habits I'll gladly let you push me out of a plane," said Bruce flatly.

"Nothing of use so far."

Tony actually started at the sound of Natasha's voice coming from the corner where she was standing by the window. "Whoa, forgot you were even there, Agent Romanoff, you've been so quiet."

"I wish I could return the compliment," she said coolly. "I've never met someone who could talk so much and say nothing." Natasha looked over at Steve before Tony could retaliate. "In answer to your question from earlier, Captain America, we haven't gotten anything of use from the bugging of Hammer's penthouse. He just seems to play a lot of music and dance."

"Dance?" repeated Steve.

Clint grimaced. "There is the sound of a lot of puffing and panting and he's alone, so best case scenario he's dancing." He pulled a face. "I need to think I'm listening to the guy dance," Clint finished off determinedly.

"Look," said Tony impatiently, "we all know Hammer is involved with this. I say we just pick the guy up and let the Hulk pound him into the ground until he confesses."

"We're not vigilantes, Stark," said Steve disapprovingly.

"Ah, yeah, we are, Frost Bite," Tony shot back. "You look up the word vigilante in the dictionary and-"

"There is a picture of us," finished off Bruce. "We get it."

"Actually, dictionaries are usually just made up of words, B," Tony corrected him, "but the day they put a picture one out, you bet they'll be calling us in for a group shot." He looked around at them all. "You're all listening to the news, you know that there is a growing section of the powers that be and media where vigilantes is the kindest word they use to describe us. I say if we're going to get the bad press, we should at least live up to the names. What's the point of not being answerable to anyone if we don't step outside the box now and then?" Tony knew Hammer was working with Maniatis. This was his hallmark, attaching himself to someone else's genius and going along for a free ride. Hammer had done it with Ivan Vanko and now he was doing it with Noble Maniatis, Tony would bet every dollar he had on it.

"It doesn't matter what the press say we are, it matters what we know we are," Steve argued. "The Avengers have to stand for something."

"And why can't that something be kicking Hammer's ass?" Tony reasoned.

Bruce shifted in his seat. "Tony, we all know your feelings about Justin Hammer and no one here is arguing his case, but you've got to remember, the guy is crazy, not stupid. We go in there guns blazing it feels like we'll be playing into his hands."

"You're wrong," said Tony in annoyance, "Justin Hammer is both crazy and stupid and those are two things you don't want in an enemy. It means they're hard to keep one step ahead of because everything they do makes no sense."

"We're not bringing in Hammer," Fury informed him, "not until we get more information on his connection to Maniatis."

"You heard my Hulk pulverising plan, right?" asked Tony in frustration. "I feel like that's a plan with no drawbacks."

"Except for the little fact that the Hulk will probably kill him inside of a minute," offered up Bruce dryly.

Tony shrugged. "I stand by my no drawbacks statement."

"Hammer is off the menu until we get more intel," said Fury firmly. "We need him to lead us to Maniatis if they are working together."

Tony threw up his hands in disgust. "I see no point to these meetings if you're all not going to do what I say without question."

"Is this the bit where you take your bat and ball and go home?" Steve ribbed him.

"I am home," Tony countered. "If anything I'd throw the lot of you out on the street but I'm not going to do that. I'm going to wait until I'm proven right about this and then rub it all in your faces for the rest of your lives."

Bruce kept a straight face. "In many ways I think you're the most noble of all of us, Tony Stark."

"If you're done with you hissy fit, Stark," said Fury, attempting to get the meeting back on track, "would you care to tell us all what you've discovered so far about the metal you retrieved from the mantises?"

"It's very cool."

"That was worth the wait," said Clint mockingly.

Tony wasn't fazed. "The metal is embedded with a kind of nanotechnology I've never seen before. From what I can work out, the nanobots establish a kind of metal memory to the material. So, the person can program it the metal to be something, like a part on a praying mantises wing for example. With the nanobots embedded in the metal, they respond to a certain frequency of sound and will reform again and again as long as that signal is being broadcast."

"Which we've already seen," agreed Steve. "Kill the signal, kill the bugs."

"Yes and no," said Tony. "Sure, the creature may dismantle, but the nanotechnology is still very much in play. I haven't worked out how this Maniatis, or whoever, is managing to manipulate the nanobots to the level he is. I can't seem to get the retrieved metal pieces out of their static state and until I do that, we won't know all the capabilities of this technology. I feel like I'm only scratching the surface of what this nanotech is capable of and the trouble is, our guy has had longer to figure this out than me."

Natasha looked almost amused. "Is that an admission of inadequacy, Stark?"

"Hardly," Tony snorted. "I just wanted you all to know that so you'll be even more impressed when I do figure it out."

"No one could be as impressed with you as you are," Natasha noted dryly. "So, is that it? Is that all you've found out?"

"So far. I've got a few theories I'm working on."

"Care to share them?" Fury prompted him.

"I'll let you know when I've got something." Tony leaned back in the sofa, stretching his arms along the back of it and sticking his feet out on the coffee table in front of him. "I have to release my magnificence in small bursts, otherwise people get overcome with just how generally awesome I am."

"You're pretty liberal with releasing that ego anytime though I notice," said Bruce wryly.

"I'm like the sun, B-"

"Cancer inducing?" Steve chimed in.

He was treated with a glare from Tony for that. "No, I've got to shine, day or night, I'm a radiating ball of eternal light."

Clint rolled his eyes. "Well, I've had just about enough of your radiating balls as I can take for one day, Stark." He looked over at Fury. "Agent Romanoff and I will continue our Hammer surveillance unless you need us for something else, sir?"

"Is that what the kids are calling it these days?" Tony quipped. "You two run along now. I'd hate to think we're standing in the way of young love."

Neither Clint nor Natasha looked overly amused.

"You're not running this meeting, Stark," said Fury sharply. "I am."

"Obviously," said Tony. "If I was running this show we'd all be half-drunk by now and heading out to a fantastic sushi bar I know."

"Go ahead with your surveillance," Fury instructed Natasha and Clint while ignoring Tony. "Report back to me as soon as you discover anything."

They both nodded and replied as one. "Sir."

Fury looked at Tony. "And you'll contact me as soon as you make any kind of progress with this metal alloy, Stark. We need to know our enemy here."

"You're on my speed dial between Howard Hughes and Gary Glitter," agreed Tony casually.

Bruce arched an eyebrow at him. "Howard Hughes is dead. That must be a hell of a deal AT&T has got going for you."

Tony grinned. "It's not bad."

"I need some air," said Fury, looking like he had enough. He inclined his head at Natasha and Clint. "Agents, need a ride?" The two followed him out and then it was just Tony, Thor, Bruce and Steve left in the room.

Tony pursed his lips and looked reflective. "I think that went well, don't you think that went well?"

"I think you're lucky that none of them hauled off and shot you halfway through the meeting," Bruce informed him. "You've brought being annoying to an Olympic level."

Tony wasn't bothered by the criticism. "I get bored easily," he admitted. "I have to make my own entertainment."

Steve walked around to the front of the sofa. "Well, if we're done entertaining you, Mr. Attention Span of a Gnat, I've got somewhere I have to be."

Tony's nose wrinkled. "You do realise my put down names for you are way better than your ones for me, right? That one was kind of tragic."

Steve scowled. "But it was accurate."

"The trick is to make it accurate and amusing," Tony advised him. "Watch and learn, Rip Van Stinks At Thinking Up Names."

Steve's scowl deepened and Tony gave him a sympathetic look. "I know, way better, right?" He grinned up at him. "You keep working on it though, even the slowest train has to pull into the station eventually."

"And look at that, ladies and gentlemen," Bruce commented, "Tony Stark has taken out both the gold and the silver in being annoying at these Olympics, an unprecedented occurrence."

Thor shook his head and sighed. "I do not understand any of what you are all saying. The words come of thy lips, but they have no meaning. It as though I sit in a roomful of baboons and listen to them chatter."

Bruce pulled a face. "That's not an inaccurate description, Thor."

Thor looked over at Steve, clearly wanting to steer things onto a track he understood. "What urgent mission has your attention, Steve Rogers, and do you need your brother's in arms to rally behind you?"

Steve looked a little embarrassed again. "Ah, not really, Thor. Thanks for the offer though."

Tony's curiosity was piqued as he sat up straighter on the sofa. "And what are you up to that you're being so furtive about, Secret Squirrel?"

Steve looked vaguely harassed. "It's not a secret. I'm just going to have another attempt at finding Miss O'Brien."

"The human shield," said Tony with an approving nod. "Colour me intrigued."

"I don't want to colour you anything and don't call her that," said Steve tersely. "I need to know she's doing okay, so I'm going to find her."

"Very noble, Steve Rogers," Thor applauded him. "Are you sure you do not wish our aid?"

Steve gave a sideways look at Tony. "No, I got this, thanks, Thor. I'll find her. I don't care if it takes me weeks or even months."

Suddenly Jarvis' voice interrupted them. "Sir, we have a visitor who wishes to enter the tower."

"Who is it?" Tony quizzed him.

"A Miss O'Brien," replied Jarvis evenly. "She wishes to speak to Mr. Rogers."

Steve looked taken aback and even a little nervous at this surprising and timely news.

Bruce gave Steve an impressed look. "Not for nothing, man, but you're really good at this finding people caper. You should think about opening your own business."

Tony jumped up. "You know what this is?"

"None of your business?" offered up Steve hopefully.

Tony gave a loud laugh. "No, this is kismet."

"I don't know what that is, but unless it's French for none of your business, I want you to stay out of this," said Steve firmly. "I'm going down to meet with Miss O'Brien and you're all going to keep your noses out of this."

"Absolutely."

"Of course, Steve, we understand."

"As you wish, Steve Rogers."

Steve nodded and straightened his plaid shirt. "Okay then, I'll be back shortly. Jarvis, can you tell Miss O'Brien I'm on my way down, please?"

"Very good, sir."

The three of them watched Steve march determinedly off to the elevators and Tony waited until the doors had closed before addressing the others. "I was totally lying just then. Who wants to come with me to see Captain Clean Cut screw this up?"

"I'm in," said Bruce without hesitation.

Thor looked torn. "That would not be right, Tony Stark."

"But it'd be fun," Tony countered, already herding them towards the elevator. "Sometimes you have to go with fun over being noble, Thor. The sooner you learn that, the sooner you'll fit into living in this realm."

Thor was persuaded and they all stepped into the elevator, curious to see this Miss O'Brien themselves.