A/N: Okay, so I would have posted this chapter yesterday but I left the file at work... I know, what are you gonna do, right? I fear my 19 days straight at work is starting to take its toll. Never mind, only another 7 days before I get a day off. Yippee. I think I'll spend the day unconscious.

So, this chapter, I think we're still on course for this history lesson to only be 3 chapters long... but the chapter following this one is when everything happens, so I just don't know at this point. Anyhoo, here's the chapter and I hope it makes some kind of sense... because I don't know if I am these days.

Laters...

Chapter Thirty-Three

A small frown touched Natasha's brow. "What about that event made you think Tony was a viable option for a partner?" she asked in confusion. "If it was me, I think I would have run him over with the car."

Pepper's lips quirked. "The thought did run through my mind," she said dryly. "Mostly I was just looking to put some distance between myself and the way Tony was making me feel."

"How did you feel?" asked Natasha curiously.

"That was the second time we'd almost kissed since I'd known Tony." Pepper pulled a face. "The first time Tony went to get me a drink and never came back. This time, I wanted to be the one who left. That man drives me crazy, and I didn't want to be that girl just then." She gave a little shrug. "Plus I had to go and check on the damage and call a few emergency services. Being Tony Stark's PA is a full time job."

"I know," said Natasha wryly.

Pepper gave a little laugh. "I suppose you do."

"So, did Tony catch you up later?"

Pepper rolled her eyes. "Tony caught me up sooner rather than later, as it turned out."

oooOOOOooo

Pepper swung the wheel hard so she was now facing in the right direction as she made it back on the road. Her blood was pounding in her ears and she just needed some distance between Tony and that kiss. Why would he do something like that and why at that moment? Pepper was baffled. There had been a hundred moments between them since they'd been on that balcony together and almost kissed, why did Tony have to wait until they'd almost been killed? To Pepper the only answer was that he was running off adrenaline and poor impulse control and that was fine when he did that with all the other women in his life, but she wasn't going to be added to their number. Her lips tightened as she pressed the gas pedal to the floor.

"Pepper, WAIT!"

She heard Tony's cry from behind her at the same moment she'd pressed down on the gas and then suddenly Tony was launching himself at the car. He caught hold of the backseat of the convertible and hung on for dear life as Pepper sped off.

She looked back over her shoulder at him, driving too fast. "What are you doing?!" Pepper yelled at him. "Get out!"

"Stop the car!" Tony ordered her as he clambered into the back seat.

"No!" she shouted back rebelliously, too angry and confused to really be all that rational.

"You're going to get us killed!" Tony exclaimed as Pepper made a wild swerve on the road and went out wide to take the next corner, forcing him to cling onto the headrest of the passenger seat.

Pepper turned her head and glared death at him. "Well, you're the expert on almost getting people killed," she threw back at him, "so I guess you know what you're talking about." Pepper was speeding along the road which would take them back around to connect with the main road leading to the front entrance of Tony's cliff top mansion. It was about a ten minute drive usually, but she was going to halve that time at least with the speed she was going. It actually felt good to do something reckless and have Tony trying to be the voice of reason for a change. Pepper could almost see why Tony enjoyed it so much.

Tony was attempting to get into the front seat. "Okay, you're upset, I can see that."

Pepper gripped the steering wheel tighter and kept her eyes on the road. "And do you have the first idea why I'm upset, Tony?"

She swerved again and Tony lost his balance, sliding face first into the front seat, his head now in the foot well. "Could it have something to do with the little bomb hullabaloo?"

"Almost being engulfed in a fireball isn't a hullabaloo, Tony," said Pepper tightly.

Tony struggled to get himself the right way up in the seat. "Anything that doesn't require hospitalisation is a hullabaloo," he said with great certainty, finally the right way up. He shook his head to clear it, eyes going a little wide as they weaved all over the road. Tony quickly put his seat belt on. "You know, if you're tired, I could drive for a bit, Pep."

Pepper smiled grimly. "Not so much fun when the shoe's on the other foot, is it?"

"The reactor thing was an accident," protested Tony as he held onto the dash to steady himself. "I wouldn't intentionally hurt you."

Her chin jutted out aggressively. "Then why did you try and kiss me?"

Tony looked at her in surprise. "How is me kissing you intentionally hurting you?"

Pepper ground her teeth at the genuine confusion she could hear in Tony's voice. He was intent on adding her to his list of conquests on what appeared to be a whim and then had the audacity to ask why that wouldn't hurt her. Pepper took the last corner leading to Tony's driveway too fast and they skidded out a bit, showering more dirt and dust everywhere before she regained control and pulled up at the foot of the driveway. Billowing smoke was coming from half of the house which thankfully had managed to not slip into the ocean below but most of the house still seemed to be intact.

The sound of sirens could be heard off in the distance as the emergency services raced to their aid. The house was fitted with state of the art emergency equipment and the internal sprinkling system was doing a good job of dousing the worst of the flames but it was going to be an unholy mess to clean up after. Pepper turned off the ignition, her shoulders sagging at the realisation of the amount of destruction they'd just managed to escape. Her eyes drifted to the front of the house and saw the Rolls Royce parked out the front. Pepper gave a gasp of dismay. "Happy!"

"No, not really," said a miffed sounding Tony. "I'm kind of waiting for an answer to my question."

Pepper threw open her car door and bolted out, eyes on the singed man sitting on the front step of the house. "No, HAPPY!" she said urgently.

Tony finally noticed the other man and pulled a face. "Oops." He quickly got out of the car and followed after Pepper. "He's fine, don't worry, Pepper."

Pepper was crouching by Happy's side now and giving him an anxious look as she took his arm. "He's not alright, Tony, look at him."

Tony was kneeling down by Happy's other side and took his arm as well. "He's just a little singed, no biggy. You're fine, aren't you, Hap?"

Happy was looking between the two of them dazedly before blearily trying to focus on Tony. "Mom?" he rasped unevenly as he stared up at Tony.

Pepper gave a groan. "Oh no, he's got a concussion."

"Actually," said Tony casually, "that's not as out there as you might think. I've met Happy's Mom, and for a woman born into the age of electrolysis, she has a surprising amount of facial hair."

"Don't you dare makes jokes," said Pepper, her face flushed with anger. "You nearly killed Happy!"

"And you know what the most important word in that statement is, right?" said Tony blithely.

"Killed?" bit out Pepper.

"Oh, ah, actually I was thinking the 'nearly' was the important bit."

Pepper fumbled for her cell phone. "He needs an ambulance."

"Nonsense," said Tony, "he just needs to walk it off, don't you, big guy?"

Against Pepper's better judgement she helped Tony get Happy on his feet. He swayed a fair amount, but they both held onto an arm to support him.

"See," said Tony brightly, "what did I tell you?"

Pepper glanced at the back of Happy and gave another gasp of disbelief. "Oh my god, his clothes!" The entire back of Happy's suit had been burnt away along with the back of his boxers and exposing a sizable amount of flesh.

Tony gasped. "Oh my god, his ass! Could it be any whiter? For a guy born into an age with so many tanning options, there's just no excuse."

"Would you stop going on about being born into this age," she snapped at him. "Look what you did, Tony. So, do you still maintain this is only a hullabaloo after seeing the state of Happy?"

Tony gave the disorientated Happy the once over. "Alright, I'm upgrading from a hullabaloo to a kafuffle."

Pepper shook her head at him in frustration and turned her attention back to Happy. "Happy, can you hear me, are you alright?"

Happy gave her an unfocused look. "OH HEY, PEP," he shouted at her, his words a little slurred and uneven.

Tony winced at how loud he was being. "I guess his hearing was affected by the blast."

"Do you think?" Pepper ground out sarcastically.

Happy was looking between them as he swayed unsteadily on his feet. "I FORGOT MY PHONE IN THE CAR AND I WENT BACK TO GET IT AND THEN, AND THEN-" He trailed off and looked lost as he struggled to put together what had just happened. "CAN ANYONE ELSE TASTE PURPLE?"

Pepper carefully patted his arm to comfort him. "It's alright, Happy, we're going to get you some help, don't worry."

Happy looked at her blankly. "WHAT?"

"She said don't worry," repeated Tony more loudly.

Happy shook his head. "NO, I DON'T FEEL LIKE A CURRY RIGHT NOW, BOSS."

Tony grimaced. "Definitely some hearing issues."

"This is bad," said Pepper, looking at Happy in concern.

Happy paused and looked even more confused. "IS ANYONE ELSE'S ASS COLD?"

The fire brigade had arrived by now and the men were running around, grabbing hoses and dousing out what remained of the fire. The fire chief hurried up to the three of them. "Is anyone else in the building?" he asked quickly.

"No," said Tony, "just Jarvis."

The fire chief looked concerned and Pepper shook her head. "It's fine, he's just a computer. There are no people inside."

"Do you know what happened?"

Pepper gave Tony a pointed look. "Shall I fill him on the kafuffle, or shall you?" She smiled sweetly at the bemused looking Chief. "We upgraded from a hullaballoo once we saw Happy. Do you want to write any of this down at all?"

"She's being sarcastic," Tony advised the other man.

"You don't say?" said the Fire Chief flatly.

"We need to get Happy to a hospital," said Pepper fretfully as Happy started to sway in the breeze now. "He could have any kind of internal injury that we don't know about."

"I keep telling you he's fine-"

"I'D LOVE A WINE," interrupted Happy, looking at Tony hopefully.

"NO WINE, HAPPY," said Pepper loudly. "WE THINK YOU HAVE A CONCUSSION. YOU HAVE TO GO TO HOSPITAL."

Happy blinked at Pepper and looked like he was already drunk. "ACTUALLY, PEP, I DON'T FEEL SO GOOD, MAYBE WE SHOULD GO TO THE HOSPITAL INSTEAD?"

Pepper nodded her head emphatically and smiled up at him. "Yes, good call."

"The ambulance is on its way," the Chief informed them. "They'll be able to check him out on the way to the hospital."

Tony nodded approvingly. "Sounds like a plan. I'll stay here and oversee the fire control and Pepper, you can go in the ambulance with Shouty McYellerson here, and as soon as I've got this sorted, I'll meet you at the hospital," he directed her. Tony smiled his most charming smile. "And then they'll give Happy the all clear and we can all have a good laugh about this."

Pepper glared death at him. "You're the one with the brain injury if you think I'm going to get over this in a couple of hours, Tony Stark."

"But, it was an accident," he protested yet again. "These things happen."

oooOOOOooo

"Do you think that's what they'll write on your grave?" asked Clint dryly. "These things happen?"

"I'm going to have 'told you I was sick' written on mine," said Bruce straight-faced.

"I'm going to have 'killed by Tony Stark' on mine," said Happy flatly.

Tony rolled his eyes at him. "Drama queen much, Hogan? You were mildly singed at worst."

"If I hadn't forgotten my phone and gone back to the car, I'd be sitting here dead right now," declared Happy dramatically.

"None of this is making sense," protested Steve. "How do you get from a barbequed Happy to a happily ever after Pepper? This story sounds more like the beginning of a law suit than a love story."

Tony looked smug. "The course of true love n'er did run smooth, young Steven. It took one wild night to change everything between Pepper and me."

Bruce snorted in disbelief. "There is no way you got Pepper into bed that night, I don't care how good of a sweet talker you think you are."

"I wish it was Pepper I spent that wild night with," sighed Tony.

Happy made a stoic face. "You and me both, boss, you and me both."