A/N: Ug, so, still going with the Pepperony flashback and I'll need one more chapter to wrap it up. I know, I'm hopeless. LOL

I'm finally on my day off today, so I'm hoping the muse will co-operate and let me post a chapter tomorrow as well. :D I really want to get this show on the road with this story.

I promise in the next chapter, there will be a lot more of Pepperony being in the actual same scenes together. ;)

Toodles...

Chapter Thirty-Six

Tony ran along the street, frantically looking all around amongst the throng of people filling the streets on a Friday night as they moved between the clubs and restaurants in the areas. It wasn't exactly a great part of town and Tony had lost sight of Happy when the other man had turned a corner and now he was trying not to panic. A dazed and half-naked Happy roaming the streets of LA's somewhat seedy underbelly wasn't a tale that was likely to end well. Tony tried not to think what Pepper would have to say about his inability to even get Happy home safely. Somehow he suspected going with a 'releasing Happy back into the wild' angle wasn't going to cut it. Who knew keeping tabs on one guy could be this hard of a job?

Tony was running towards the less well lit part of the area now, and the people were starting to look a little odder now, dressed in their clubbing outfits, which was even more of a problem for Tony, because at least before Happy really stood out. Tony ran up to a group of what were undoubtedly hookers standing by one of the street corners. "Excuse me, ladies," he said, a little out of breath, "have any of you seen a man who could stand to lose a few pounds and yet is still surprising nimble guy run past here with his ass hanging out and a sparkly 'Who's your daddy' t-shirt on?"

The caramel-skinned woman wearing a bright red wig and tangerine coloured lipstick smiled at him in amusement. "Oh, hon, around here, that describes half our clientele."

"He might be talking about bacon," offered up Tony hopefully.

"I saw that guy," volunteered a little blonde woman in a pair of hot pants which revealed detailed tattooing all down her leg and thigh. "He was heading towards the hamburger joint across the road."

"Thank you, thank you," said Tony gratefully and reached into his pocket and pulled out a few hundreds and passed them to the women. "Buy yourselves something warm to put on," he said solicitously. "It's getting chilly out here and I wouldn't want you ladies to catch a cold."

The blonde looked at her hundred bill and laughed. "That's a first, a man paying us to put clothes on."

Tony was already running across the street. "I like to be unexpected," he called back over his shoulder.

"You go get your man, daddy," called back the statuesque red-head encouragingly. "And remember, true love always triumphs."

Tony contemplated going back to tell the woman that he was doing this for true love, but it wasn't Happy related and then decided he didn't have the time. The smell of hamburger meat cooking filled his nostrils and it was undoubtedly what had drawn Happy's attention. Tony stuck his head into the brightly lit burger joint and didn't see Happy. He made a frustrated noise and walked up and down the pavement in front of the takeaway restaurant, looking up and down the street. A movement at the end of the alley to the left of the burger place caught Tony's attention and he did a double take. He could make out the glow of a white hospital gown at the end of the dim alley way and Tony knew his luck had at last changed for the night. He ran down the alleyway just in time to see Happy fish something out of the overflowing trash cans by the side door of the burger place. Happy raised the half-eaten burger to his mouth just as Tony got to him and slapped the food scraps out of his hand. "NO!" he yelled at him. "We don't eat out of the trash, Happy," said Tony sternly.

Happy seemed confused as to where his pre-loved burger had gotten to, looking at his empty hand fuzzily. "Bacon?" he said forlornly.

Tony rolled his eyes. "Are you really that hungry?"

Happy attempted to focus on Tony, finally seeming to realise he was there. "Tony," he said abruptly, remembering what the other man had told him to say when asked a question. "Tony, Tony, Tony."

"I'm going to assume that was a yes," said Tony dryly. "Okay, here's the deal, Yogi Bear. I'll call your doctor and see if he'll give us the green light on you having something to eat as long as you promise me no more running away. Do we have a deal?"

Happy blinked first with one and then the other. "Tony," he replied and then for good measure, "bacon."

"Right." Tony pulled out his cell phone and was forced to walk back onto the street to get a signal. He dialled the hospital number and after a bit of being transferred around, he finally managed to speak to the doctor who had been treating Happy. "Oh hey, doc, this is Tony Stark."

"Yes, Mr. Stark, is there a problem?"

"No, not really," said Tony as he glanced back down the alley way to see Happy was walking towards him, another half-eaten burger in his hand and he was chewing. "No, Happy!" he exclaimed. "Spit it out!" Tony ran up to Happy who had a big grin on his face as he was chewing away, clearing having no intention of doing any such thing. Tony thought quickly. Before the other man could swallow, he grabbed at the tuff of chest hair poking out of the top of pink, sparkly t-shirt. Happy gave an involuntary squawk and as he opened his mouth, Tony whacked him on the back of the head. The half-masticated burger shot out of Happy's mouth and made an unpleasant looking puddle on the sidewalk as Tony made a grab for the rest of the burger. "No eating out of the trash!" Tony reiterated forcefully as Happy's lower lip began to quiver. Tony groaned. "Oh God, don't cry now."

Happy made a loud snuffling noise as he teared up but tried not to actually cry.

"I'm trying to get you food, Happy," Tony tried to console him. "You just have to be patient."

"Bacon," whimpered Happy.

"Mr. Stark?" The muffled voice of the doctor could be heard coming from Tony's cell phone.

Tony quickly put his cell phone back to his ear. "Yes, I'm still here."

"Is everything alright, Mr. Stark?"

"Ah, yeah, just, um, the TV is on."

There was a very long pause on the other end of the phone. "I see," the doctor said at last in a tone which rather implied otherwise.

"I was just wondering how long before I can give Happy something to eat?" said Tony quickly, turning his attention back to the call. "He seems a bit peckish."

"He could have a small meal of something light by now."

"Bacon?"

"Oh, well, I suppose, just not very much of it. Some people can end up getting a bit nauseous from a head wound and it's better if they don't have too much in their stomachs."

"But I can give him some bacon and it won't kill him," Tony pushed for clarification.

"No, just don't make it too much." The doctor paused. "Mr. Stark, Mr. Hogan is taking it easy, isn't he? I mean, he has a possible head injury and he should really be resting now."

"Of course he's resting," said Tony indignantly. "What do you think, we're out roaming the streets together or something?"

"No, of course not," said the doctor hastily. "Obviously that would be insane."

Tony felt a flash of guilt that he hadn't managed to get Happy home yet but couldn't take the risk that Pepper might speak to the doctor tomorrow and didn't want to incriminate himself in this conversation. "Happy is tucked up on the sofa taking it easy," lied Tony. "Aren't you Happy?" He turned around to address Happy, only to find the other man was no longer there. Tony's heart lurched in his chest. "Gotta go," he blurted out, "the commercials are over and our show is back on." Tony hung up before the doctor could say anything else and managed to catch sight of Happy way up ahead of him, running down the street and undoubtedly in search of more bacon. Tony groaned loudly and started to run after him, wondering how this night could get any worse.

oooOOOOooo

"So, you went on a date with another man and left Tony in charge of a delirious Happy," said Natasha slowly. "Okay."

Pepper wrinkled her nose prettily. "When you say it like that, it does sound a little weird." She played with a stray strand of hair absently. "I just needed some time and space to think. The last thing I'd expected that day was Tony telling me he wanted a serious relationship with me and I don't think he was expecting to declare it either. It just sort of happened and I felt what we were risking was way too important to do so on a whim."

Natasha was looking at her with interest. "How was your date?"

Pepper smiled fondly. "It was perfect. Kevin was wonderful company, attentive, funny and it was a lovely night. The restaurant he'd chosen was perfect, the opera was brilliant. There was nothing more I could have asked for in a date or a companion."

"But?" Natasha encouraged her. "I mean, there has to be a but, otherwise you and Tony wouldn't be together now."

Pepper half-smiled. "Kevin took me to a nearby coffee shop after the opera and it was nice to just unwind and not have to think for a moment. He was uncomplicated, easy company and I could see myself having a future with him, or at least, with a man like him." Pepper could see the confused look on Natasha's face. She smiled. "There was a TV on in the coffee shop, playing in the background. In the middle of Kevin asking me all about myself, who should pop up on the screen but one Anthony Stark."

"Tony was on TV?" asked Natasha in disbelief. "Why?"

"The sound wasn't on but there were captions and it read 'Tony Stark chases half-naked man down LA streets'," said Pepper in amusement. "There was footage of Tony chasing after Happy in some clubbing district. At least I assume it was Happy, all anyone could really see was a naked butt."

Natasha looked even more confused. "How did that happen? All Tony had to do was drive the guy home."

Pepper sighed. "Oh, who knows? It was just so typically Tony though. Nothing is ever straightforward or expected, everything is just a wild ride." Her expression became distant as Pepper remembered that exact moment. It was like she was being shown two clear roads to take in her life to choose between. On one hand she could have a life that a man like Kevin offered, one that was safe and secure and be all the things Pepper had always envisaged her life turning out like. And then there was Tony. Things were never going to be simply or straightforward between them. It was going to be as messy as hell and an adventure that Pepper would have no kind of control over. She was a control freak, so the thought of having so many things in her life which she couldn't control had always terrified her but in that moment Pepper had realised that something inside of her had changed over the years. Being with Tony had changed her and Pepper had a moment of clarity where she realised that she liked those changes. Tony may still have been a wild card, but the thought of having a safe, predictable life no longer held the appeal it once did. Pepper hadn't been convinced that Tony knew what he wanted at the beginning of that night, but she now knew what she wanted.

"And you chose the wild ride," Natasha prompted her.

Pepper gave a small smile of remembrance. "Oh yes," she said huskily, "in the end, there was no kind of choice at all."

oooOOOOooo

Steve was giving Happy a vaguely disgusted look. "You were eating out of the trash?"

"That's the story he tells," said Happy defensively. "I don't remember any of it."

"Why would I make that up?" Tony protested.

"I do not understand courtships in this realm," sighed Thor. His blond brow furrowed in concern. "Perhaps I should not woo Jane Foster after all."

"Don't let Tony's story put you off, Thor," Bruce advised him. "In no way is this the typical way a guy gets a woman's attention."

Tony waved a dismissive hand at them. "Say whatever you will, because in the end, I got the girl."

"How?" asked Clint in disbelief.

Tony hesitated. "I have no idea," he admitted at last.

oooOOOOooo

Tony wrestled the shopping trolley with the snoring Happy out of the elevator in Happy's apartment block. It had just gone three o'clock in the morning and Tony was exhausted. He felt like he'd run a marathon on his hunt to find Happy and when he had eventually tracked him down it was to find that he was fast asleep. The shopping trolley had been the only way to get him back to the car in the end, provided by an accommodating homeless man named Hank who lived down one of the many back alley's Tony had frequented that night. He wheeled Happy up to his apartment door, unlocked it and pushed his slumbering chauffer through the door. Tony didn't bother with lights, not wanting to risk waking Happy and his wandering feet again that night. Using the trolley, he took Happy straight to his bedroom and tipped him unceremoniously into the bed. Happy made a dull thud noise as he hit the soft bed, but at least this time he didn't connect with the floor and Tony was taking that as a small win on a night of what had been mostly fails if he was being honest. Tony tucked the still snoring Happy into bed and blew out an exhausted breath as he looked down at his sleeping friend. "Sure, look innocent now," he grumbled. Tony pointed an accusing finger at him. "You were a nightmare tonight, Happy Hogan."

Happy rolled over onto his side. "Bacon," he mumbled before falling back asleep.

"Bacon indeed," agreed Tony wholeheartedly as he shook his head and gave Happy an affectionate look. He ran a tired hand through his hair and left Happy to it. Tony wandered out into the living room and made a beeline for Happy's fridge, deciding he'd more than earned a stiff drink tonight. He opened the fridge door, the light illuminating the serviceable kitchen as he rooted around in the contents for something cold and alcoholic.

"Happy keeps his alcohol in the cabinet in here."

Tony started violently at the unexpected voice volunteering the information, banging his head on the top of fridge compartment. "OW!" he yelped complainingly, pulling his head out of the fridge and rubbing on the part he'd just injured. Tony walked back into the living room just as Pepper turned on the light beside the sofa she was curled up on. His eyes went wide at seeing her there, mind instantly racing. "Pepper," he rasped, words falling over themselves to explain, "we've been here all night but Happy wanted to get some fresh air and-"

Pepper wordlessly held up her phone to him.

Tony squinted at the little image and immediately recognised himself and Happy's bare ass on screen.

"Tony Stark indulged in a little hide and seek tonight with someone who looks suspiciously like his long time chauffer, Happy Hogan and clothing appeared to be optional," declared the commentator. "The billionaire, often known for his eccentric behaviours was seen chatting with prostitutes and homeless people throughout the course of the night and after the reported explosion at his home earlier that day, it's got us wondering if this is Mr. Stark's version of a midlife crisis or just another day in the life of an eccentric billionaire turned superhero-"

Pepper shut the phone off and arched an eyebrow at him.

"Damn it," growled Tony, "don't those TMZ guys ever sleep?" He looked at Pepper who was regarding him steadily. "Okay," said Tony, holding up his hands in a placating fashion, "cards on the table. I may have temporarily misplaced Happy for a teeny tiny portion of tonight but as you can see, I got him home safe and sound eventually."

"In a shopping trolley," she noted.

Tony couldn't read her face and it was unnerving him. "I bought it from a guy named Hank, he was using it to move his stuff around. I gave him a thousand dollars for it. Hank seemed happy with the trade."

"I see."

Tony was really frightened in that moment that he'd ruined any chance he'd ever have with Pepper. He sat down on the sofa, heart pounding in his chest. "Look," he said urgently, "I know tonight didn't go exactly to plan, but you have to give me a second chance, Pepper. I usually don't get things right the first time, I need to fine tune new things. Like, remember the suit? How many holes did I blast in the wall and fires did I start before I got a handle on that and now look how great it is?" Tony just needed Pepper not to write them off as an impossibility based on tonight. "I tell you what we're going to do, I'll give Happy another concussion next week and then look after him and you'll see, Pepper, I'll be amazing at it," he pleaded with her. "You can't just throw away what we have between us just because I accidentally let one guy eat out of the trash and kiss a man-"

oooOOOOooo

"Wait, what?" Happy sat up straighter in his seat and looked at Tony in horror. "I kissed a man? Why, how, when?"

"You're ruining the flow of my story," Tony complained. "And don't worry, I don't think there was any tongue." He paused. "Although the guy was pretty handsie now that I think about it."

"You let me get sexually molested?" asked Happy in distress.

"Hey, you walk into a gay bar and do a strip tease, you can't blame the guy for thinking you were up for it."

Happy's eyes were almost bugging out of his head. "What?" he squeaked.

"Didn't I mention any of this?" asked Tony blithely. "I thought I mentioned all of this before to you."

"Oh my God," said Happy weakly, clutching his fire extinguisher closer to his body. "I feel so dirty."

"Oh please," snorted Tony, "you were a big hit and you made over a hundred dollars."

"That's where that money came from?" said Happy in distress. "I wonder why I woke up with all those one dollar bills beside the bed."

Clint clicked his fingers impatiently at them a couple of times. "Back to the story, what did Pepper say after she caught you lying and prostituting out Happy?"

Happy glared at Tony. "And did you just say you offered to give me another concussion?"

"True love has to have some suffering in it," Tony declared.

"Yeah," snapped Happy, "but why does it have to be my suffering?"

"That's just the way the love cookie was crumbling," said Tony unapologetically. He gave Clint a thoughtful look. "You seem very interested in this story, Clint, not planning on doing some wooing of your own, are you? Maybe with a certain red-headed spy?"

Clint gave him an unimpressed look. "If I was looking to woo a woman, this story would be a list of all the things not to do."

"Hurtful," sniffed Tony.

"But essentially accurate," concluded Bruce as he motioned to the waitress for another onion flower.

"Finish thy story, Tony Stark," Thor encouraged him. "What words did you use to secure thy maiden's heart?"

Tony thought about that for a moment. "Actually, things seemed to go better when I stopped talking," he admitted, still hazy on what exactly had happened that night himself.