A/N: Phew, big sigh of relief that you guys found the last chapter amusing, hopefully this one will be the same. And before you think I've just let this story go to slapstick-ridden pot, I think there is another two chapters and then we're into the big showdown and then the story will be over. Yay! Things are going to get mighty serious very soon, so enjoy the zaniness while it's here and thanks again for reviewing. I can't believe I'm getting so close to 1000 reviews, never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that happening with this fic. You guys all R-O-C-K! :D

Chapter Fifty- Three

Tony straightened up as he heard Pepper's approaching footsteps. He hastily straightened the giant red bow on the most expensive crib money could buy and stood beside it. This morning Pepper hadn't seem to want his involvement in this whole baby thing, but Tony was intent that she knew she could rely on him.

"Tony?"

"In here." he called out to her. "I'm in the bedroom."

"What's so important that you had to see me right away?" she asked walking into the room and then stopped abruptly when she saw the beautifully made up crib, complete with a plethora teddy bears in different shapes and sizes. "Oh." Pepper looked at him in confusion. "What is this?"

"I thought, seeing as there is going to be a baby in our midst soon, that it'd probably need a place to sleep."

Pepper shook her head and looked at him in amazement. "You're just full of surprises today and seem to know everything that is going on with everyone all of a sudden." She walked up to the crib and looked it over, stroking the head of the largest teddy bear absently. "This is really beautiful, Tony."

Tony's smile widened, seeing that Pepper was impressed. It was a good start. "I just wanted to show you I can be involved in things."

Pepper blinked and looked a little perplexed. "I guess." She looked back at the crib. "This is so thoughtful of you, Tony, but don't you think it's a bit much?"

Tony was taken aback. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, it's not like it's your baby after all," observed Pepper. Her words took a moment to register with Tony and by then she was smiling at him and patting him on the chest as she gave him an affectionate kiss on the cheek. "But it's very sweet of you. You can be quite the softie when you want to be." She wrinkled her nose apologetically as she glanced at her watch. "I'm sorry, I've got to go. I have another meeting but I love that you did this, Tony. You just keep on surprising me." Pepper gave him another quick kiss.

The blood was still roaring in a dumbstruck Tony's ears as Pepper blithely walked off to go to her meeting, leaving a thoroughly shaken Tony in her wake.

oooOOOooo

Steve frowned and quizzed Tony yet again. "And you're sure that's what she said, that it wasn't your baby?"

"I was standing right there," said Tony unevenly. "Pepper's exact words were 'it's not like it's your baby'." Tony had walked out of their apartment and just kept walking. Steve had found him standing in front of the refrigerator, staring blankly in at the contents with no interest in food whatsoever. He was still in shock when Steve had sat him down and gotten Tony to tell him what was wrong.

Steve sat back in his seat and shook his head. "That doesn't sound right. There is no way Pepper would say something like that, let alone do it. You must have heard wrong."

"I didn't hear wrong," said Tony determinedly. "Trust me, I wish I had."

Steve looked flummoxed. "It just doesn't make sense."

"I know that!" said Tony, voice rising in agitation. "Don't you think I know that?"

Steve shrugged. "Look, there is nothing for it, you're just going to have to talk to Pepper about it."

Tony looked at him in disbelief. "Are you out of your mind?"

"What else is there?" he protested.

"If I go to Pepper and ask if she's pregnant with another man's baby and I'm wrong-"

"Then that's great news."

Tony glared at him. "In the short term, yes, but you have to think big picture when you're in a relationship. I make that kind of accusation and best case scenario I never win another argument for the rest of our lives and I already barely win any as it is."

"I could see Pepper being upset," Steve acknowledged.

"Upset?" repeated Tony in agitation. "I'm already on thin ice thanks to the writing thing and the hamster ball thing."

"Safety pod," Steve corrected him.

"You're an ass," said Tony flatly.

Steve ignored him. "Look, none of this is making any sense," he reiterated. "We have to be missing something here."

"What are we missing?" asked Tony dramatically. "My girlfriend is pregnant with another man's baby." He slammed his head down on the kitchen bench, actually saying the words aloud ripping him in two.

Steve flinched as Tony's head made a sickening sound connecting with the hard metal surface. "Did that hurt? It sounded like it hurt."

"This can't be true," Tony groaned. "Pepper would never do this to me."

"That's what I said," noted Steve.

Tony jerked his head up. "Okay, then, what did she mean by telling me it wasn't my baby?"

"Are you sure that's what she said?" Steve quizzed him. "Maybe Pepper was joking."

"She wasn't joking," Tony rasped.

Steve shrugged. "Then it all comes down to how desperate you are for the truth."

"I think we've already established I'm desperate by the fact I'm coming to you for advice," said Tony snippily.

"Then you have to suck it up and go and talk to Pepper about it," said Steve decisively. "What's the worst that could happen?"

Tony grimaced as a million scenarios ran through his head, none of them good.

oooOOOOooo

Jane held onto Thor's arm tightly as she looked around at the impressive entrance to the foyer of the Avenger's Tower. "I can't believe you talked me into coming to New York with you," she said, looking around herself in awe. "And I can't believe you live in a place like this. It's amazing."

Thor nodded and smiled. "Tis no Asgardian palace, but you shall want for nothing, Jane Foster." He drew her closer to his side as they stepped into the elevator and the doors slid shut. "And I do not remember you being very hard to convince to travel with me," he said huskily as he bent down towards her.

Jane couldn't help but melt at the first touch of Thor's lips to her own. The last twenty-four hours had been a whirlwind and her head was still spinning. Thor's unexpected appearance in her apartment had just brought everything she'd been trying to be sensible about hurtling back to her. Theirs was by no means a usual courtship but that was probably to be expected with demi-gods falling from the heavens at your feet. Thor's promise to never leave her again had Jane daring to hope there was a real future for them. When he'd said he needed to return to New York and be with the Avengers, he begged her to come with him. As it turned out at the time, semi-naked blonde gods were pretty hard to say no to when he'd asked her last night. Who knew? Darcy had practically shooed Jane out the door with threats against her life and everyone she'd ever loved if Jane didn't fill her in on everything that happened in minute detail next time they spoke. Jane was quickly forgetting where they were and she forced herself to pull back and sent him a regretful look. "I don't want to look like we've been kissing when I meet the others," she explained, a little embarrassed and definitely flushed.

Thor just smiled and looked down at her adoringly as he gently nudged her nose with his. "Then thy should not cast such enchantments upon me, Jane Foster," he admonished her huskily.

Jane felt her knees go a little weak at being looked at and spoken to in such a way. If this didn't work out between them, Jane was pretty certain Thor had just about ruined her for every other man on the planet. She tried to calm herself down, not wanting to meet the rest of the Avengers looking like a flustered mess, particularly when it was obvious Thor had a great amount of affection for them. She cleared her throat and took a deep breath. "Are you sure that it's okay for me to just turn up like this?" she quizzed him unsteadily. "I don't want to be an imposition."

"You impose on no one, Jane," Thor reassured her. "The only imposition there could be if you were not by my side." He smiled. "Besides, Tony Stark enjoys an audience, the larger the better."

"What's he like?" she asked curiously. "I mean, I've seen all the things on the TV about him and everything and of course the Iron Man stuff, but what is he like in real life?"

Thor looked to be thinking about that for a moment. "I am not sure if he is a wise man who plays the fool, or a fool who plays at being wise."

"Oh." That didn't really help Jane out and she was a little intimidated meeting billionaires and legends from the past. Not to mention giant green monsters.

"He is most excitable and talks greatly about things of which I have little understanding," continued on Thor. He smiled. "But he is a generous host and I believe, a good man."

"You like him," said Jane, reassured somewhat.

"I have never met a man of his like in all the realms I have visited and yes, there is much to be enjoyed about Tony Stark." He gave a lop-sided smile. "And tolerated."

"I've seen him on TV," observed Jane. "He seems to have a very big personality."

"Aye, more than one, truth be told," said Thor wryly.

"What are the other's like?"

"Steve Rogers has a true heart and a noble spirit," said Thor thoughtfully. "Bruce Banner is wise and calming."

Jane moved a little restlessly by Thor's side. "And umm, the other part of Doctor Banner, you know, the Hulk?" It was hard not to be more than a little worried about the thought of meeting the person who had the rampaging monster she'd seen on TV news reports inside of him.

She must not have done a good job at hiding her anxiousness, because Thor immediately moved to comfort her. "I would not bring you into harm's way," he promised her seriously. "While Bruce does not trust the beast within, I do, because the same heart beats in both Bruce and the Hulk and that is a good heart. I have seen the creature with the maiden Potts and he is most accommodating."

It was on the tip of Jane's tongue to ask what an accommodating Hulk would look like but then wasn't sure she wanted to know the answer to that question. "What's Natasha like?" she asked instead. Jane had seen pictures of the gorgeous spy and it was hard to imagine any man not falling for her instantly. She watched Thor's face intently as he replied, searching for any hint of attraction for the other woman, but there was none.

"She is a mighty warrior, fearless in battle and quick on her feet. She speaks little but I suspect thinks deeply."

Jane couldn't help herself. "Do you think she's beautiful?"

"Aye," said Thor without hesitation, "she is most comely and no hardship on the eyes."

Jane grimaced. Well, she'd asked.

Thor took Jane's hand and lifted it to his lips, kissing the soft skin on the back. "But she is no Jane Foster," he said softly, eyes locking with hers. "You have no need for doubts, Jane. No person in this realm or any other holds my affections and heart the way you do. There is only you, there has always only been you, even before we met."

Jane bit her bottom lip and fought back emotional tears. Damn, she didn't think she was this kind of woman, but maybe it was all about these things being said by the right man that was bringing her so undone. "I-I feel the same way," she admitted shyly.

Thor's eyes flared in approval. "I wish to meet the rest of your family, as you shall meet mine," he said firmly. "I do not wish for there to be any impedance for us to be as one. I know that in this realm, families can plot to keep people apart with falsehoods, evil twins, feigned deaths and the like. I do not want that for us, Jane Foster."

Jane fought back a smile at how serious Thor was being. She'd worked out pretty quickly that Thor seemed to have gained most of his knowledge of human romantic drama from some kind of soap opera. It was just too cute, even though Jane still wasn't sure where the orang-utan fitted in. Perhaps he watched old re-runs of Passions, she seemed to remember an orang-utan in that. However, as endearing as it was, she couldn't let Thor go on thinking that the kind of carry on in those soaps was in anyway how life really worked. They stepped out of the elevator and Thor guided her down the corridor as she looked up at him. "You know, Thor, real life doesn't have evil twins, nefarious family plots or even ridiculously complicated misunderstandings creating angst for a couple," she said gently. "Those things only happen in soap operas, not real life." They walked through the door into a room which looked like a large media room as Jane finished saying that, just in time to witness an amazing sight.

Jane recognised most of the people in the room from all of the media coverage of the Avengers. Bruce Banner was sitting in a sofa, with Clint Barton perched on the arm rest beside him. Behind them was Steve Rogers and Tony Stark and they were facing a woman Jane recognised as Pepper Potts and she was flanked by three men who looked like CIA agents. They'd obviously just walked in on the middle of something because all hell promptly broke loose.

"SON OF A BITCH!" Tony roared and launched himself across the room, over the top of the sofa and a startled Bruce before throwing himself on top of the blonde man in the dark suit standing to one side of Pepper. "I'M GOING TO KILL YOU! YOU GOT MY GIRLFRIEND PREGNANT!"

"Tony stop it!" yelled Pepper in shock. "What are you doing?!" She gasped and then looked even more shocked and mad. "Wait, you've got a pregnant girlfriend? Since when?! Who is she?! You BASTARD!"

No one was answering Pepper's question as the room simultaneously erupted into chaos as Tony started punching at the blonde man who had recovered from his shock quickly and was trying to defend himself. The other men in the room descended on them and attempted to pull them apart.

"I'm gay!" the man underneath Tony was yelling as he tried to get away from Tony's furious attacks. "I'm GAY!"

Jane's large brown eyes were wide open as she took in the melodramatic scene in front of her. "Then again, this is New York, so I guess all bets are off."