A/N: Hey guys, took longer to get this done then I'd like – work has been crazy busy, not much time for the muse and I to get some work down.

I feel like this chapter is a bit anti-climatic, but I couldn't seem to help it. I'm hopeful to have the next chapter up tomorrow for you. We're getting close to the big show down now, guys, hope I can do it justice.

Toodles...

Chapter Fifty- Four

Three minutes earlier:

Pepper smiled Clint and Bruce as she walked into the room, Lewis, Cody and John bringing up the rear as always. "How are you settling in, Clint?" she asked politely. "Is there anything you need at all?"

Clint shook his head. "No, the apartment is amazing. It's a definite step up."

"Good, we want you to be comfortable here."

"I am, now that I've stopped peeing blood," said Clint straight-faced.

Pepper wrinkled her nose prettily. "Tony is really sorry about that strawberry thing."

"You don't have to apologise for him," Clint pointed out.

"Force of habit," she said ruefully. "It was my job for twelve years."

"Now you're together officially, it's going to be your job for the rest of your life," pointed out Bruce from the sofa. "Only you don't get paid for it."

Pepper just smiled. "Oh, don't worry, Tony pays, one way or the other, he pays."

Clint chuckled. "I'm so happy to hear that."

Pepper laughed. "Besides, I feel like the strawberry thing was indirectly my fault anyway. Tony was on a mission to stop me being allergic to them and with the tampering he did with them, he discovered that he'd made this powerful narcotic in strawberry form."

"That doesn't mean he should use it on people," said Clint dryly.

Pepper sighed. "When Tony gets an idea in his head, he kind of just runs with it, hence the giant hamster ball in the lab."

Clint's lips twitched. "Not buying into the safety pod line, huh?"

Pepper rolled her eyes. "Not in the least. I'm just letting him get it out of his system but that man truly is insane if he thinks for one moment I'd even consider getting into it."

Bruce smiled. "I wouldn't rule out the insanity, Pepper, particularly not now, with what is going on with you two."

Pepper opened her mouth to ask what Bruce meant by that but then Tony was hurrying into the room with Steve behind him. His expression was tense. "Pepper, we need to talk."

She frowned, concerned by how serious Tony sounded. "What's wrong, Tony?"

Tony looked around at the others. "In private, we need to talk in private about the baby."

"Baby?" repeated Clint in surprise. "There's a baby?"

"Yes," said Tony grimly.

Lewis stepped up from behind Pepper and looked a little confused. "Are we talking about my baby here?" he quizzed Tony.

Tony's face tightened. "What?"

Steve looked dumb founded. "I don't believe it."

"There's more than one baby?" Clint asked, trying to catch up.

Bruce frowned. "I don't know now, I'm getting confused."

"So am I," said Pepper and tilted her head at Tony. "Why do you want to talk about Lewis' baby, Tony?"

"And shouldn't I be involved if you are?" offered up Lewis.

Tony's face flushed red in rage. "SON OF A BITCH!" he roared and then leapt over the sofa and crash tackled Lewis to the ground. "I'M GOING TO KILL YOU! YOU GOT MY GIRLFRIEND PREGNANT!"

John grabbed Pepper's arm and pulled her out of the way of the flailing men, automatically doing his job as Cody stepped up and put himself between them and Tony and Lewis.

"Tony stop it!" yelled Pepper in shock. "What are you doing?!" Her heart was in her mouth over Tony's wild actions and then his words sank in. She gasped, a white hot jealousy shooting through her entire body."Wait, you've got a pregnant girlfriend? Since when?! Who is she?! You BASTARD!"

Tony wasn't able to answer as he and Lewis rolled around on the floor. The others ran in to pull them apart as Pepper reeled, trying to collect her thoughts.

"I'm gay, I'm GAY!" Lewis tried to protest as he clearly didn't want to hit Tony but when Tony punched him in the mouth, he reacted, punching Tony right back.

Out of the corner of her eye, Pepper saw Thor and who she assumed was Jane Foster walk into the scene. The young woman looked taken aback. "But then again, this is New York, so I guess all bets are off," Pepper heard her say over the melee.

By now Steve and Bruce had managed to drag Tony off of Lewis, who had scrambled to his feet and was glaring at Tony. "What the hell?" asked Lewis in annoyance, grimacing as he touched his split lip.

"Don't play the innocent with me, Martin," Tony barked out. "I know what you've done!"

Clint raised his hand. "I don't, so I wouldn't mind some cliff notes to this little debacle if they're on offer."

Pepper put her hands on her hips and gave Tony a stern look. "I think that's a very good idea, Clint," she said sharply. "Why don't we start with this pregnant girlfriend, Tony?" Pepper knew Tony wouldn't have just made an announcement like that and intentionally hurt her, so clearly there had to be more in play here. At least, there had better be.

Tony shook off Bruce and Steve and gave her a confused look. "It's you, of course."

"How can it be me?" Pepper argued. "I'm not pregnant."

"Yes, you are," said Tony hotly.

"No, I'm not," she threw back at him.

"Why are you lying?" asked Tony in distress. "Pepper, we've talked about this."

Pepper's eyes narrowed as she looked him over. "Are you drunk?"

"No," said Tony indignantly. He scowled at Lewis. "Believe me, I wish I was."

"What's with the stink eye?" Lewis protested. "What exactly have I done?"

"Oh, like you don't know, Mr. I'm Gay," said Tony bitterly.

"I am gay," said Lewis flatly.

"Not gay enough it seems," bit out Tony angrily.

"Lewis is gay?" repeated Steve in a quiet aside to Clint and Bruce.

Clint nodded. "That's the only thing I'm fairly certain of right now," he agreed. "The rest is a complete mystery to me."

"He doesn't look gay," Steve whispered.

Clint's lips quirked as he looked at Steve. "And what does gay look like?" he quizzed him in amusement.

Steve's brow furrowed. "I don't know," he admitted slowly.

Pepper was beginning to piece things together, but the puzzle still made no sense. She tried to get to the bottom of this all. "Tony, I'm not pregnant," she insisted.

"I found the positive pregnancy kit," said Tony stubbornly. "Someone is pregnant and it's not me."

"That was Lewis' positive test," said Pepper in exasperation.

Tony folded his arms in front of his chest, lips thinning. "I don't care how gay the guy claims to be, he's not that gay."

"It was my pregnancy test," interjected Lewis.

Tony arched a disbelieving eyebrow. "Then I have completely misunderstood where babies come from," he said defiantly.

Lewis just stared him down. "My partner, Greg, and I are having a baby. We've been trying for a long time, and now we've finally pregnant."

Steve leaned towards Bruce, not taking his eyes off the dramatic standoff in front of him. "I have questions," he hissed.

Bruce gave a long-suffering sigh. "I'll explain later."

Thor scratched his cheek. "I did not know that the men of this realm could bear children," he remarked thoughtfully.

Clint looked amused. "Looks like you've got another student for your sex ed class, Bruce," he commented.

Lewis looked at Thor. "We're not having the baby," he explained to the other man. "Greg's sister has donated an egg and is going to carry the child for us. It's called surrogacy."

Steve pursed his lips, eyes still on the tableau in front of him. "I still have questions," he whispered to Bruce.

"Oh my," breathed Jane, "I take it all back," she said quietly to Thor, "this is exactly like a soap opera."

Tony held up his hands. "Hold on, hold on, are you telling me you're not pregnant, Pepper?"

Pepper's jaw hardened as she realised that Tony had thought she'd been pregnant with Lewis' baby. The nerve of the man. "No."

Tony's eyes widened. "So, you are pregnant?" he asked unevenly.

"I mean, no, I'm not pregnant," she said sharply.

Bruce shook his head. "Double negatives, always tricky."

Tony looked like all the wind had been taken out of his sails. "What," he said shakily, "not even a little bit?"

"What does a little bit pregnant look like, Tony?" she demanded in annoyance.

"I don't know," said Tony vaguely, still looking to be in shock. "I can't believe this." He gave her a desperate look. "But we talked about it, we talked about our baby."

Pepper gritted her teeth as another piece fell into place. "The baby I was talking about was the Chinese deal. I've brokered a multi-million dollar deal with the Chinese, that was the baby I thought you were talking about."

"But-but you never said that," Tony protested.

"You told me you'd found out about it when you went snooping in my office," Pepper reminded him.

"I found the pregnancy test in your office," Tony clarified.

Pepper closed her eyes. "This is unbelievable."

"To say the least," Clint chimed in.

Tony frowned. "So, we're definitely sure here, just to clarify, no one in this room is pregnant?"

"I'm not," offered up Jane. She looked around at the others. "If that helps."

Pepper glared at him. "I'm not saying it again."

Tony fixed a bright smile on his face. "Okay, then, that's sorted. Good to know. I'll see you all later." He turned around and seemed to be intent on leaving.

"Oh no, you don't, Tony Stark," said Pepper sternly. "Are you kidding me?"

Tony turned around and gave her an innocent look. "What?"

"You just came in here and accused me of getting pregnant by another man and you think you can just walk away from that?" she said in disbelief.

"I didn't accuse you of anything," Tony protested.

"You didn't have to," said Pepper angrily. "You just basically inferred I was a whore in front of everyone!"

"I never did!" Tony gasped in outrage. "A whore gets paid, I always assumed you were doing it for free."

Bruce put his hand to his face and shook his head. "Wow, just wow."

Tony looked stricken. "That came out wrong, that wasn't what I meant, Pepper," he said hastily.

"And the award for understatement of the year goes to Tony Stark," announced Clint dryly.

Pepper was so angry she couldn't see straight. She jabbed a finger at Tony. "This isn't over," she threatened him. With that Pepper turned on her heel and stalked out of the room, just needing some space right then. Her innate manners had her stopping as she came to Jane. She pushed down her rage and smiled pleasantly at the other woman. "You must be Jane, welcome. Thor has talked so much about you, we're all thrilled to have you with us. If you need anything, please don't hesitate to ask." She held out a hand to her. "I'm Pepper, by the way."

Jane tentatively took her hand. "Hello, Pepper, nice to meet you."

"I'm sorry you had to walk in on Tony being an ass, but seeing as he's one quite regularly, your chances we're pretty good," Pepper apologised, refusing to look at Tony.

"Hey," came a wounded sounding Tony from behind her.

Pepper heard Steve give Tony some sound advice. "Shut up."

"This is all your fault, you know," Tony accused the other man.

"How is it my fault?" asked an outraged Steve.

"You should have stopped me making an ass of myself."

"There is no super serum in the world capable of that feat!"

"Just calm down, you two," Bruce advised them.

"And you!" said Tony tersely. "You were no help at all!"

"I didn't turn into a giant rage monster and kill everyone in the room," pointed out Bruce calmly. "Some might consider that helpful."

Pepper didn't turn around at the bickering, just smiled at Jane. "We'll have lunch one day soon and get to know one another," she informed the other woman. "It'll be fun." With that Pepper continued on her way out of the room, refraining from slamming doors as she went, not wanting to give Tony the satisfaction.

"Pepper?" Tony called out after her. "Don't you think we should talk about this?"

"No," she ground out and just kept walking. She was too mad to be reasonable right now and this whole situation needed some reason and until she could bring that to the table, Pepper had a strong sense that distance was what was needed right now.