A/N: Hi hi! As always I'm really happy that most of you are enjoying the story thus far and I wanted to address a few things from the reviews. Obviously I read them and take everything you guys say into consideration and it warms my heart and keeps me writing, but I wanted to first say that no, Santana won't vomit in every chapter. I don't want to say she suffers from anything because it hasn't been medically diagnosed for her, but in case it wasn't obvious Santana doesn't feel that Valerie is dead/gone. So whenever she does something that resembles cheating to her - mostly being happy with Brittany - then she is going to vomit or drink or something to that extent because she feels extremely guilty. So, I hope that kind of answers that. At UnholyBitch - first of all, I love your name - your comment made me laugh. The first part that Sam is cheating. It made me laugh and you'll figure out why later on, but I just love that you came to that conclusion so quickly within the chapter. Love it. Lastly, at bodybroke I totally get why you wouldn't want to read a fic such as mine and you are right to some degree that Brittany is competing with a ghost and that Valerie will always be Santana's 'true love' yet there's also a part where reality meets fiction and that there is something as having more than one true love, so to speak, and though neither one knows it I strongly know/feel that they are each other's true love. How they both finally come to this conclusion is going to be hard and a bit cliche at times, but I think that's what really makes a relationship. Building it from dirt and forming it into a strong and solid foundation. I think I explained that the way I wanted to.. But, anyway, this chapter here was a joy to write and I hope you guys enjoy it!

Chapter 5

...

Santa Monica, CA – 5:23pm

One Year: One Week: Five Days: Nineteen Hours: Forty-Eight Minutes

Santa Monica Pier

"What the hell is a BreadstiX?" Brittany questioned, eating her cotton candy, arching a curious brow as she and Santana walked down the familiar pier together.

Santana giggled, "It's only the best place to go to for breadsticks when you're in Lima."

"The hell is a Lima?"

Another giggle escaped Santana's lips before she could stop herself, "It's in Ohio. It's where I'm from originally. Where are you from originally?"

"A sperm and an egg." Brittany answered matter-of-factly as she took off a big piece of cotton candy and stuck it in her mouth.

"Smartass."

"That's me." She smirked, "I'm from Jersey. Moved here like two years ago."

"I've been here for seven. I was in New York for a while though."

"Why'd you move here?"

"I really love the weather."

Brittany smiled, "That is a perk. I moved here because my best friend was moving here and she didn't want to move here alone. We used to live together; she lives with her boyfriend now. Rachel. You've mentioned her, but I don't think you've met her."

"I don't want to." Santana responded quickly.

"Oh come on, she's not as bad as Mercedes probably made her out to seem. I've known her for basically ever. We went to middle school together and then high school; we were there for each other through a lot of bullshit. I was the only one that believed she could get her dream of Broadway without NYADA and she was the only one that thought I was smart. She's the only person in my life that made me feel… I don't know, special." She shrugged, "Don't you have someone like that?"

Santana nodded, "Quinn. She's my best friend too. We didn't move out here together though. She came here after I did but it was only because her boyfriend-turned-husband, Sam wanted to work on comics here. She's always been there for me too though." Even when I couldn't be there for myself.

"Who is her husband? I might've heard of 'em, I love comics."

"Really? Sam Evans. He's more annoying in person though."

Brittany giggled lightly, "I know him! Well, I know of him. I've read a few of his comics, that guy is hilarious, but I haven't seen any new material from him in a while. Is he still working on something?"

Santana shrugged, "Hell if I know. I don't pay attention to that crap and neither does Quinn, if I'm being honest. She said he's working on something though so there you go."

Brittany nodded and from there they grew quiet; Brittany took in the air around them. It was a beautiful day for the pier, it wasn't too hot – for once – and there were small clouds in the blue sky. An occasional cool breeze swept over the ladies as they walked in their shorts and tank tops – or fitted Tee, in Santana's case – and sneakers – or flip flops, in Brittany's.

"Hey look." Brittany nudged Santana to get her attention to look upwards towards the sky, "It's an elephant." She said enthusiastically with a grin that Santana noticed flattered her cheekbones the wider and brighter it became. She had to stop noticing things like that.

"Look at that one, it's a polar bear." Santana looked at the sky and couldn't really see any of the animals or objects that Brittany seemed to find but she looked wherever Brittany pointed to humor her and really she just didn't want to see her not smiling. Eventually Santana's stomach began to rumble and she sighed, grabbing it lightly.

"Someone's hungry." Brittany said, poking Santana's stomach teasingly – who giggled at the contact. "Come on; let's get you something to eat."

"Oh, um, I should tell you that I'm Vegetarian."

"Is that by choice?" Brittany asked.

Santana shrugged, "I guess you can say that. My, um, ex was a vegetarian and she always bragged about how she could beat me up this hill we used to run every Saturday together because she cut out meat from her diet so she had more energy than me." She paused, "I wanted to see if she was right so I tried it and I kind of enjoyed it."

"Well, was she right?"

"About what?"

"Cutting out meat to have more energy."

"Oh, yeah, kind of." Santana smiled, running a hand through her hair nervously. Bringing up Valerie was painful for the brunette and she didn't realize just how painful it was until the statement was out in the air. She sighed to herself feeling a queasy swirl take over her stomach.

"Hey are you okay? You look kind of pale…" Brittany stated, turning her attention to Santana. She stopped walking and turned to face Santana, placing her hand on her shoulders, "Hey, look at me, are you alright?"

The sudden contact jolted Santana back to life and she stepped back from it causing Brittany to frown slightly. "I'm fine." She insisted continuing onwards not waiting for Brittany to catch up.

...

The afternoon passed by Santana in a blur. She wanted so desperately to enjoy Brittany's company and just collapse into her kindness and beauty but her heart wouldn't let her. She continued to fight her body as she tried to keep her food down, eating slowly and calmly as Brittany devoured her hot dog and fries and went back for seconds. Brittany felt a change in Santana's demeanor after her ex was brought up and curiosity was getting the best of her. Who was this ex anyway? Was she that Valerie girl? Or was she someone else? Brittany had all of these questions but didn't want to ask them – she was scared Santana would fall over if she did.

"Did you have a good time?" Brittany questioned as her hands tugged at the belt loops on her jeans as she walked in unison with Santana.

"Yeah."

That answer didn't sit well with Brittany so she added, "I meant with me. Did you have a good time with me?"

Something about her sudden childlike tone brought a smile onto the writer's lips that she couldn't hide nor ignore.

"Oh hey look at that, there goes that smile."

Santana sighed, "I do that sometimes."

"You should do that all the time. You're even more beautiful when you do."

"I'm sure you say that to all the girls."

Brittany shrugged, "Not really. Only if it's true, and it's true. Your smile changes your entire face. I bet you didn't know that?" Santana shook her head, "No one has ever told you that? Man, you've been hanging with the wrong people. When you smile your eyes kind of sparkle – dance, actually. And you get these cute little lines on the side of your mouth that hit your cheeks and kind of swirl together and it's really adorable. Oh and when you're really into it, your nose crunches and it's really cute."

Santana felt a warm heat rise onto her cheeks and she smiled once more, turning her head in embarrassment.

"Oh hey there's that nose crunch."

"Stop that." Santana teased turning back to her.

"Let me think about it…" Brittany paused, "No." She playfully hit the Latina and jogged away.

"Hey! Get back here!" Santana gasped jogging afterwards.

"Nope. Going to have to catch me first, slow poke."

"Who you callin' a slow poke?"

"That would be you, Madam. And you said you had more energy." Brittany shook her head playfully as she took off full speed out of the pier only making Santana chase after her. She caught up to the blonde and, without a second thought, jumped onto her and they fell into the sand together giggling.

"Help! Help! There's a hot girl on me!" Brittany giggled as Santana sat up on top of her, not realizing she was straddling her.

"Surrender!" Santana said, with a vicious childlike manner, grabbing Brittany's hands.

"Never!" Brittany chipped back in the same fashion.

Santana tackled Brittany's hands, as Brittany giggled – Santana's body was tickling her – and eventually Santana had Brittany's hands pinned above her head in the sand. Their eyes locked and their giggles ceased; their breathing heavy as they sat in the sand in silence.

"Surrender." Santana whispered.

"Never." Brittany replied, looking deeply into chocolate eyes. Santana hadn't noticed how deep and beautifully blue Brittany's eyes were they complimented her blonde hair so well it was almost like a sin to look at her. It was a sin to look at her. She had to get off of her before she did something stupid.

Santana moved to get off of Brittany, but she grabbed Santana's hand and pulled her back down. She rose up a bit to look closer at Santana's face; their breaths both hitched in their throats as their eyes locked. Brittany pulled Santana closer to her; Santana could feel the scent of cotton candy and lollipops on her breath and for some reason it was arousing. Their lips crept together and Santana wanted so badly to kiss her, but her stomach jerked and she knew this was wrong. She turned her head and closed her eyes, hearing a small sigh from Brittany's lips.

"I'm sorry. I can't." She whispered.

"Why not?" Brittany questioned.

Santana turned back to her, small droplets of tears falling from her eyes. Brittany wiped them, "You're more beautiful when you smile." She whispered with a smile.

"Can you… Can you just take me home?"

Brittany nodded sadly.

West Side LA – 7:35pm

One Year: One Week: Five Days: Twenty-Two Hours

Outside Santana's Apartment

The car ride from Santa Monica to Santana's apartment was mildly awkward for both women. Brittany turned on the radio to drown out the silence, putting it on a low volume as they neared Santana's apartment; her hand rested on the side of her head as the other remained on the steering wheel every so often turning to look at her companion.

Santana sat in the passenger seat of the car, mentally slapping herself for even thinking about kissing Brittany or just thinking about her period. They couldn't be more than friends. They just couldn't be. She sighed to herself as she looked out of the window, her eyes every so often looking at her companion.

"Do you want me to come up with you? You still look kind of pale…" Brittany asked worriedly as she parked the car in front of Santana's apartment.

"No." Santana shook her head, "No, I'm fine. Thanks though." She opened the car door.

"You did have a good time today, right?" Brittany questioned, biting her bottom lip, looking away from Santana's eye to her hands. Why did she need Santana's reassurance so badly? She was just some hot crazy woman.

"I did." Santana gave a weak smile, placing her hand on top of Brittany's without thinking. The contact sent a jolt of electricity through her body and she swallowed hard. "I had a great time." She added.

Brittany looked at their hands and sighed with relief, looking at Santana's sweet brown eyes. "We should do this again sometime?"

Santana nodded, "I'd like that. I really would."

"Great! This time you pick."

"Deal." Santana removed her hand and Brittany slightly frowned at the loss of contact, but smiled when Santana closed her door and walked towards Brittany side gesturing for her to roll down the window.

"Don't tell me you missed me already. I haven't even left the parking lot." Brittany joked.

Santana rolled her eyes, "Yes, that's exactly what happened." She joked back, "No, um, I just wanted to say goodnight."

Brittany smirked, "Aren't you cute?" She paused with a smile, "Goodnight Santana."

"Goodnight Brittany."

Santana turned and walked up the familiar stairs to her apartment and once inside she darted towards her fridge and grabbed a beer and drowned it. Then another. And another. To cleanse her mind of the thoughts of Brittany and hoping that she hadn't upset Valerie. The beers weren't enough for her as her drunken mind still found solace in the images of Brittany. Somewhere in the night she had found herself in the bathroom crying into a picture frame of her and Valerie.