A/N: Finally another chapter.

The muse and I still aren't speaking. I'm kinda bummed out about it. :( She's making winding up this fic very difficult.

So yes, again, not really happy with this chapter, but I just have to post it and be done with it.

I'm trying to unblock myself by writing some other little stories. I've posted 2 chapters of a 3 parter about Grimm and will probably post more, just to try and get the juices flowing. Check it out if you're a Grimm fan and have a minute or two to spare. Or don't, I'm not the boss of you. LOL It's called 'Desperate Measures'.

Anyhoo, here is the chapter, don't want to even guess at when the next one will be done, but I'll battle on, like the little trooper I am. LOL

Thanks for your patience, guys, I really appreciate it. X

Chapter Seventy-Three

Tony finished towelling his hair dry and threw it carelessly on the little vanity in front of him. He'd just finished taking a quick shower with Greg's crisis kit supplies. Fortunately his clothes had been fresh, so they only had a vague lingering air of the sulphur when he'd put them back on. Lewis and Greg had left to go home now, and Tony was alone in the room. He leaned heavily on the vanity counter and looked into his reflection. Haggard eyes stared back at him. This was the first chance Tony had to be alone and he was unable to stop the dark thoughts crowding his brain. A muscle ticked uncontrollably in his jaw as he finally gave free reign to the emotions building inside of him. Tony thought about that moment when he'd realised Pepper had told him to blow the Tower, with her still in it. A white hot rage filled his body and Tony couldn't control himself. His fist snapped out and smashed the mirror in front of him. Tony welcomed the pain of splintering mirror cutting through the knuckles of his skin. He pulled back his hand and looked at his bloody knuckles unseeingly.

"That wasn't smart."

The calm observation came from behind him and Tony looked up at the broken mirror to see a splintered Steve reflected back at him. He turned around, a frown on his face. "Has something happened?"

Steve nodded, walking into the little bathroom. He picked up Tony's discard towel and took his hand, pressing it against his bleeding knuckles. "I was looking for you. Natasha is out of surgery."

"And?" Tony prompted him worriedly.

"The doctor was happy with the surgery, now we just have to wait and see how she is when she wakes up."

"Natasha is strong," said Tony determinedly. "She's going to kick this recovery thing's ass."

Steve half-smiled. "Yeah, she will." He pulled back the towel and looked at Tony's hand. "It's not too bad, you'll live." Steve gave him a worried look. "How's Pepper?"

"Sleeping."

"Sleep is good."

Tony looked away. "Yeah."

"Happy told us what happened."

Tony's jaw hardened. "Did he tell you that Pepper sacrificed herself for us?" he bit out. "Did he tell you that if wasn't for a twist of fate, I'd be visiting her in the morgue rather than a ward?"

Steve was studying him carefully. "You're angry at her."

"Yes," he said sharply. "No." Tony pulled his hand away and stepped back, his emotions getting the best of him. "How can I be mad at Pepper while she's lying up there in a hospital bed, half of her insides torn out?"

"But you are," pointed out Steve mildly.

Tony flung the towel across the room and made a frustrated noise. "Of course I am!" he almost shouted. "Pepper was going to let me kill her!"

"Pepper was going to give you a chance to overcome Hammer and Ghost's insane plot," he countered. "And it worked."

"But it nearly didn't," he said loudly, starting to pace. "Pepper almost died today and I was going to be the reason! How could she do that? I'm so mad at her that I can't think straight." He threw up his hands. "But I can't say that to her because she doesn't deserve it but I just can't-I just can't-". Tony ran out of words, feeling like the room was closing in on him all of sudden.

Steve grabbed his arm to stop the pacing. "You need to calm down," he directed Tony. "Just take a breath already. You're going to drive yourself crazy."

"Of course I'm going crazy," snapped Tony. The fear inside of him at all the what if's of today was scrambling his brain. "I just don't understand how Pepper could have thought I could go on after something like that," said Tony, still struggling with his anger. "How did she expect me to survive knowing I was the one who killed her?!"

"I know how," said Steve calmly. "Pepper's greatest gift to you is her faith in you, Tony."

Tony's shoulders sagged, the anger abruptly going out of him. "I don't deserve her faith," he said raggedly.

"How can you say that after today? You worked out how to stop those spiders. It was crazy and reckless and the kind of plan only you could come up with."

Tony ran his hand through his hair and felt suddenly overcome with tiredness. "But if it had come at the cost of Pepper-"

"But it didn't," said Steve firmly. "You've got to work out a way of letting the 'what if's' go, Tony." He grimaced. "Take it from someone who knows."

"I don't want Pepper to die because of me," said Tony hoarsely. "And I really don't want her putting herself in harm's way for me ever again."

"I'm sure she wasn't tickled pink when you launched yourself into that giant wormhole a couple of months ago," said Steve dryly. "But you did it to keep her and the rest of us safe. Pepper has learnt how to deal with that aspect of your relationship, maybe you should ask her for a few pointers?"

Tony sighed. "Yeah, maybe I should. She makes it look so easy."

"But we both know it's not."

Tony rubbed his hand. "I should be getting back to her." He looked at Steve. "Is there anything we can do for Natasha?"

"No, Clint's with her now. They'd only let one of us into the room and Clint seemed like the obvious choice. Plus, I don't think anyone was going to keep him out."

"I know the feeling," Tony murmured.

"I've sent Happy home and I think Thor and Jane are going to check into a hotel for the rest of the night. I'm not sure what Bruce's plans are. I think he wants to hang around and offer moral support for Clint." He moved his shoulders a little. "Plus, getting out of here is kind of like running the gauntlet."

"Reporters?"

"They've been camped out for hours. It's like a feeding frenzy down there."

"They smell some blood in the water and they come running," said Tony, screwing up his face in distaste.

"Tell Pepper I'll come and see her in the morning. I mean, later on in the morning."

Tony glanced at his watch and saw that it was past midnight. "I will." He turned to leave but then stopped and looked back at Steve, hesitating. "I, uh, you know."

Steve just smiled. "Yeah, I know and don't mention it."

"You know I won't." He managed a smile. "We've got a reputation to keep, after all."

Steve chuckled. "I know."

Tony continued to walk out of the bathroom and then out of the room, into the hall. He hurried back to Pepper's room to find a nurse checking her vitals yet again. "All good?" he asked, still anxious.

"Very good," confirmed the nurse, keeping her voice low.

"Good," said Tony in relief. He was too wound up to sit down, so instead he kind of hovered around, watching Pepper's sleeping countenance intently.

"You're making me dizzy," commented the nurse as she wrote down some notes on the clip board at the end of Pepper's bed.

"Sorry, guess I've still got some nervous energy." He kept pacing.

"Well, that nervous energy is no good to my patient. Why don't you take yourself home and get some rest?"

"My home has been overrun by nano-technology," said Tony absently. "No one should stay there until I've debugged the whole system."

"Okay," said the nurse slowly. "Then maybe you can get started on that and bring back some toiletries for Pepper while you're at it."

Tony frowned. "I don't want to leave her."

"She's fast asleep and is going to stay that way until at least the morning," the nurse assured him. "You'll be here when she wakes up. Right now, all you're doing is getting under everyone's feet."

Tony hesitated. "Maybe I should head back to the Tower and do a quick damage inventory." He wanted to see the damage for himself and do a risk assessment on being sure that the threat was well and truly over.

The nurse nodded approvingly. "There you go, sounds like a plan."

"And you're sure Pepper isn't going to wake up anytime soon?" Tony fretted.

"Honey, a bull elephant wouldn't be waking up anytime soon from those painkillers. Trust me, she's down for the count."

"Okay, but you've got my number if she does wake up," Tony instructed her. "Call me."

"She's not going to wake up but yes, if the impossible happens, I'll call you."

"I won't be long."

"Uh huh."

"And you'll call me?"

"I'll hit you if you don't leave already," said the woman dryly. "Just go, will you?"

Tony walked over to Pepper's side and bent down, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "I'll be back soon, sweetheart. I love you."

oooOOOOooo

Clint walked into Natasha's hospital room and nodded at the nurse fiddling with some kind of medical equipment. "How's she doing?"

"She's breathing on her own," observed the nurse. "That's a good thing and her vitals are strong. We just have to wait for her to wake up now."

Clint nodded slowly. "I know and I'm going to be here when she does."

The woman nodded understandingly. "You're her husband?"

"Partner," he corrected her absently, not taking his eyes off Natasha's pale features. Clint didn't bother to clarify. He studied her face, never having seen her so still. Well, he had once and he'd been frightened he was going to lose her then too. The nurse wafted off and Clint barely noticed. He pulled a seat up so he could sit by Natasha's bedside. "You're doing it wrong, you know," he chastised her huskily. Clint reached out a hand and stroked her forehead gently. "You're meant to wake up when the handsome prince kisses you, not fall asleep." A wobbly smile came to his lips. "But, I guess no one could ever accuse us of being traditional, hmm?" Natasha didn't answer, not that Clint had expected her to. "You're going to get through this," he told her softly, "and I've got your back while you do, you know that, don't you?" Clint raised Natasha's hand to cup his face and held it there. He wasn't used to one-sided conversations with Natasha and had to say he didn't like them. Clint preferred it when the fiery red-head bit back and always had something to say. He gave a sad little smile and settled a little more comfortably on his chair. And he was going to make sure he was here when she did wake up and have something to say.

Hell on earth wasn't going to see him move from her bedside.

oooOOOOooo

Jane walked back from having gone to the bathroom and looked around. "Where's Agent Coulson?"

"A nurse chased him back to his room," answered Bruce.

"That's probably a good thing," said Jane. "He seemed quite pale."

"He's had a rough day."

"Aye," agreed Thor, "as we all have." He glanced over to the door where Clint had disappeared through. "Are we able to see Natasha Romanoff and let her know her we are here?"

"It's the ICU, Thor," said Jane softly. "They only let one person in at a time."

"And I'm a bit nervous at the thought of you around all that delicate machinery," added Bruce.

"I would not do damage to the maiden," protested Thor.

"You did damage to that chair," pointed out Bruce as he inclined his head.

Jane looked over at the chair which was now missing an arm rest.

"T'was already broken before I leant my weight to it," said Thor indignantly.

"Just so you know," said Bruce dryly, "you say that a lot." He smiled at Jane. "Besides, weren't you two finding a hotel for the night? There is nothing more you can do here. At least some of us should get some sleep."

"Aye," agreed Thor. He looked down at Jane. "This has been a long night."

Jane went to agree when her cell phone went off. She moved off to one side to answer it. "Hello?"

"Hey, girlfriend, how's tricks?"

"Darcy," said Jane happily. "We're all fine. Well, Black Widow isn't out of the woods yet, but the rest of the Avengers are good."

"I've been watching everything go down on TV," her friend told her. "It's crazy."

Jane thought back to the roller coaster ride of that day. "You can say that again."

"Back up is on the way, I'm just about to land in New York."

"You've flown to New York?" asked Jane in disbelief.

"That's another way to say it," agreed Darcy. "I don't think it adds anything to what I said though."

"It's not that I'm not glad to have you around, Darcy, but you didn't need to do that."

"I figured if we were about to be overrun by giant bugs, I want to be standing behind the guy with the giant hammer," observed Darcy.

Jane smiled. "I can see your point."

"So, where are you guys, still at the hospital? The news reports are sketchy."

"Yes, but Thor and I are going to a hotel for the night," explained Jane. "The Avenger's Tower is a bit of a mess apparently, so we're leaving it for tonight. You can come and stay with us, if you like."

"As much as I'd love to play the part of gooseberry in your little love nest, I'll pass. Gran lives not far from the city, I'll stay with her tonight."

"Does she know you're coming?"

"No, but I figured I'd just break in and sleep in my old room. It'll be a nice change from how I used to break out when I was living with her. Kind of a yin and yang thing."

"Darc, if you're going to be near the city, could you do me a favour, please?"

"Only if it isn't immoral or illegal." Darcy paused. "Nah, I'm good with those ones too."

Jane gave a little laugh at her irrepressible friend and proceeded to ask her favour.

oooOOOOooo

Olivia pulled her coat a little more tightly around herself and looked up at the hospital visage yet again. She was standing in the little park area out the front of the hospital. She knew all the Avengers were currently inside and she was trying to decide what the right thing to do was. Despite it being past midnight now, people were still scurrying in and out of the brightly lit hospital entrance. There was also a bank of reporters milling around, waiting to catch sight of one of the Avengers. The initial news report had been spotty, telling people that the Avengers had eventually triumphed once again against a dark menace, saving them all. The TV and radio stations had also broadcast a message from President Lee himself, endorsing the Avengers wholeheartedly and hailing them as the heroes they were. The President also was quick to denounce the Captain America broadcast as a forgery.

Olivia had just known it. There was no way her Steve would ever do something like that to innocent people. She blushed a little, realising she'd thought of Steve as hers. They'd only shared one kiss but Olivia felt like they were already meant to be. The trouble was, she wasn't exactly sure if Steve was quite as sure and the last thing she wanted to do was ruin this all by getting ahead of herself. It was why she was standing there, unable to decide whether to go inside or not. When she'd first heard that one of the Avengers had been rushed to hospital, Olivia had nearly died. Reporters had crowded to the hospital, trying to get more information and finally news was given out that it was the Black Widow who'd suffered as yet undisclosed injuries. It had been a horrible kind of relief for Olivia. Of course she was praying that Black Widow would be alright, but she was just so glad it wasn't Steve. It made her feel guilty even thinking that, but it was how she felt. It was with these tumble of emotions that Olivia was still trying to figure out what to do. She wanted to be with Steve and offer him support if he needed it, but Olivia wasn't sure if it was too early in their relationship to presume he might even want her around. She still wasn't even exactly sure they had a relationship.

"You look confused." The sound of the calm woman's voice had Olivia starting a bit. She looked over to her left to see a woman with long, dark hair and soulful eyes, sitting on a nearby bench and looking up at her. The woman smiled. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

Olivia shook her head quickly. "You didn't. I was just-"

"Miles away?" offered up the woman, smiling again.

Olivia wrinkled her nose. "Kind of."

The woman shuffled along the seat a bit. "Why don't you sit down?"

Olivia hesitated briefly, but for some reason, found herself drawn to her. She took a seat next to her. Olivia smiled a little uncertainly. "I like your coat."

The woman looked down at her red coat and smiled. "Thank you." She looked up at the hospital and back at Olivia. "Do you have someone you care about inside?" she asked quietly.

"Yes," said Olivia and then confused herself. "I mean no. No, I mean yes and no."

The woman chuckled. "I'm sorry, I didn't realise how difficult that question was going to be."

Olivia blushed again. "No, I'm sorry. It's just that it's a little complicated."

"I'm beginning to see that," she replied in wry amusement.

"I mean, there is someone I care about inside the hospital but he's not sick or anything." Olivia continued on hastily. "But I still do care about the person who is sick, even though I've never met her."

The woman was watching her steadily, with an understanding expression on her face. "I see."

Olivia wasn't sure if that was possible after her attempts at an explanation.

"May I ask why you aren't inside being with the people you care about rather than catching a chill out here?"

Olivia moved a little in her seat, face clouding over. "I'm not sure he'd want me there," she admitted. "I want to be there for him, but I don't want to be that crazy stalker girl either."

"If the man can't tell the difference between genuine concern and mental instability, I suggest you end things now," was the dry rejoinder. "You seem perfectly sane to me and if your instincts tell you that he needs you, I think you should listen to them."

That word of advice made Olivia feel better. "I think you're right," she said slowly. Olivia cast the woman a curious look. "What are you doing here and not inside, if you don't mind me asking?" She looked over at the crowd of reporters, a frowned. "You're not with them, are you?"

She gave a disdainful sniff. "Hardly."

Olivia looked at her expectantly to continue.

"I'm waiting," she said simply.

She didn't volunteer any information beyond that and Olivia was too polite to press her. "Oh, I see," she said, even though she didn't really.

The woman just smiled again. "I think you have somewhere you need to be," she prompted her gently.

Olivia nodded, her face lighting up. "I think I do too," she said, feeling much better about being there now. Olivia stood up. "It was nice to meet you."

"You too, maybe we'll meet again one day."

Olivia smiled. "I hope so." With that, she pulled her coat more securely around herself and headed off towards the hospital entrance, determined to find Steve and just let him know she was here for him if he needed her.

oooOOOOooo

Tony walked into the arc reactor room at the Avengers' Tower and looked around, his face set in stone. It looked like a bomb had gone off, which, he supposed it had with Pepper blowing up the reactor. Tony walked inside, taking in the damage done. He looked up saw the walkway above hanging by a few metal links. Looking down he saw a metal rod sticking up from the rubble. He walked over to it and crouched down. There was a pool of blood around the rod, staining the bricks and mortar and Tony knew instinctively that it belonged to Pepper. He felt the bile rise in the back of his throat as he imagined her impaled and helpless on that rod. Tony stood up abruptly and walked away, unable to bear the mental image of her being in that much pain. He strode out of the room and headed up the stairs to his and Pepper's apartment. There wasn't much he could do here right now, but at least he could do what the nurse had suggested and gather some toiletries for Pepper.

Anything to not feel quite so useless.

In their apartment, Tony packed a bag for Pepper, trying to think of everything she might need. "I need Greg," he muttered to himself. He scanned the contents of the bag and figured if he'd forgotten anything, he'd just go out and buy it. Tony had never been in an apartment store before, but it couldn't be that hard, right? He closed the bag and picked it up, anxious to get back to the hospital and be with Pepper. The lights weren't working properly in the building and they flickered as he walked out into the living room. He looked up and pulled a face, knowing that the overhaul of the building was going to be a huge task. Plus, he was going to be making some major security upgrades. The lights still flickered as he walked towards the door.

"Going somewhere?"

The slurred voice came from behind Tony and he tensed, recognising it immediately. The hackles on the back of his neck raised up.

"But you just got here, Tony. Why don't you stay and chat awhile?"

Tony was frozen to the spot, his hand on the doorknob. He slowly released the doorknob and turned around. A figure stepped out of the shadows and Tony's eyes went wide with horror, hardly able to believe what he was seeing...