Author's Note: I call this chapter: Hurt Locker Remix! You'll see why... ;) Review please!
Brittany's POV
"Are you nervous?" It was the night of the performance and I was warming up back stage waiting on Santana with the music.
"No, are you?" I asked Quinn.
"Nah, I'll just wing it like always."
I smiled at my best friend.
"Can I ask you something?" She seemed serious all of a sudden.
"Yeah, sure."
"You and Santana have gotten closer over the course of this thing and I was wondering..."
"Don't worry our friendship is still safe." I giggled but she smiled weakly.
"That's not what I wanted to know..." I spun around at her, "Are you and her...A...Uh..."
"A what?"
"A couple?"
"What makes you think that?"
"I was just asking. I don't know, the things you do with her, the way you look at her and smile around her you don't do that with anyone. Not even Artie. I was just wondering if you two were a couple and if you two are hey more power to you, but..."
"No, we're not together..."
"But you wish you two were?"
"Why does it matter? She's moving back to Mexico and I'm staying here, getting a scholarship from an arts school."
"But, Brittany if you love her..."
"Let it go Quinn! This may be the last time I see her and I don't want to see her pissed off because you won't drop stuff. It's done and over with. Santana is going back to Mexico and I am staying here. End of conversation."
I walked off from her just in time to see Santana.
Santana's POV
"What's wrong with you?" I asked Brittany. She was bright red and her eyes were focused.
"Nothing." She lied.
"You're lying to me."
"It's nothing, really. Are you ready?"
"Yeah, are you?"
"Just a little nervous."
The lights blinked on and off around us and we knew it was Showtime. Ms. Jones made her way onto the stage were thousands of people sat looking at her with glee. She smiled at them and announced the dancing class and told them they were in for a treat.
"Up first we have our very own Quinn Fabray and all the way from London, England Mr. Sam Evans!"
The crowd yelped and roared as they set foot on stage. I watched their performance, but not for long. After a few of the same twists and turns I grew bored and eyed Brittany who was leaning against a doorway.
"You're supposed to be pumped or something. I don't like this Brittany."
She smiled weakly, "Sorry."
"Don't be, what's wrong?" I leaned beside her.
"Nothing."
I sighed heavily.
Quinn and Sam exited off the stage to applause that was heard throughout the auditorium. Quinn had a huge smile on her face as Sam hugged her, but her smile faded when her eyes found me. It wasn't a face of disgust, or hate, no it was actually the opposite. Her faced showed compassion and sympathy, yet I didn't understand why. She nodded her head in acknowledgement to me then walked off with Sam.
On stage Ms. Jones announced some girl named Rachel Berry and her Asian partner Tina Cohen-Chang. Off stage, I studied Brittany's composure. While she seemed to be looking at Rachel and Tina, I knew better. Her focus was somewhere else.
"I really wish you'd tell me what is wrong with you." I said, "I won't judge you or anything, quite the opposite actually."
"I know."
"So then, why don't you..."
"There's nothing wrong." Her voice was cold and monotone as she walked away from me.
Was it something I did?
Brittany's POV
I didn't want to be around Santana until I needed to be. The sight of her made my stomach twist into an uncanny knot. I loathed the way she made me feel. It wasn't fair! It wasn't fair to be in love with a girl who lived so far from me. No, it wasn't fair. I wish she knew how she made me felt...I wish she knew...
"You really should talk to her." I heard Quinn say in my ear.
"No."
"Why not?"
"What's the point? She's leaving anyway..."
"And? At least you would have said what you had to say without any regrets."
"I told her I had feelings for her before."
Quinn eyed me, "Something tells me that wasn't exactly the way you wanted it to go down."
I played with my thumbs.
"Listen, Brittany, I don't really know how this kind of relationship works but I want you to know that I want the best for you and ..."
"Santana is the best for me..."
"Long distance relationships can work out. Emails, text, phone calls...It could work."
"Yeah, but an email doesn't really beat the touch of her skin does it?"
I didn't wait for a reply, I just walked off.
Santana's POV
Rachel and Tina had finished their performance and some guy named Mike and a dude named Matt from Cuba were making their way towards the stage. I sat on a bench eyeing them.
"You nervous?" I heard Maria ask me.
"No, are you?"
"Nah, I feel I should be though..." She took a seat beside me, "I just passed Quinn and Brittany, what's wrong with her?"
I shrugged, "She keeps saying 'nothing' but I know she's lying to me."
"Clearly."
"Was it something I did?"
"I..."
But Maria didn't finish, Quinn and Brittany were walking towards us.
Brittany's POV
Quinn had walked after me after I had walked off and forced me to talk to Santana. I scoffed at Quinn the whole walk over.
Maria and Santana eyed us but didn't make any movement to talk first.
"Brittany has something to say to Santana..." Quinn said looking at Maria, "Maria is it?"
Maria nodded.
"Maybe you and I could get better acquainted while these two converse."
Maria said nothing but eyed Santana curiously and followed Quinn out of earshot.
"Yes?" Santana asked. Her voice elegant and beautiful without trying.
I sighed.
"Its okay, Brittany. You can talk to me about anything."
"I...I just want to thank you. For coming to Ohio and singing and dancing with me. Because it's made me do a lot of thinking. And what I realized is why I'm so involved in dancing. I'm involved with dancing because it helps me deal with my emotions. My feelings and all the hurt that I have because I have never felt safe anywhere else. I have never felt safe anywhere else and I didn't understand it. I couldn't see why, but it was because of you, Santana. You came into my life and showed me what it felt like to have a safe place outside of these four walls. To feel free and alive. And I feel that when I'm dancing but I feel that, the better part of that, when I'm with you. But I'm so afraid of dealing with that because I'm afraid of dealing with the consequences. And Santana, I can't go to an Indigo Girls concert. I just can't."
"I understand that."
"Do you understand what I'm trying to say?"
"No, not really."
"I want to be with you, but I'm afraid of the talks and the looks. I mean, I know you live miles away but I want to make it work because I want to be with you. I'm just so scared, Santana."
"But, honey, if anybody were to ever make fun of you, you would either kick their ass or slash them with your vicious, vicious words."
"Yea, I know, but I'm so afraid of what everyone will say behind my back. Still, I have to accept that I love you. I love you, and I don't want to be with anyone else, especially Artie. I just want you. Please say you love me back. Please."
Santana's POV
There was a pain in her eyes I couldn't really make out. It was a pleading pain, a suffocating pain. Her eyes were begging me to love her, were taking me away from behind the stage to the setting sun outside on a beach. We were gazing into the sun set, smiling at each other, living the life of champions. Yes, her eyes were painting me a magical picture of what life with Brittany would be like...But the idea of that picture and the idea of me living anywhere else but here with her made my stomach turn. The magical picture vanished as I turned away from her.
"Of course I love you." My voice was low and it felt limp, "But long distance relationships rarely work out."
She seemed hurt by my words. Her eyes were flooding with tears, yet the sharp blue in them stayed the same. Begging me to love her, begging me to stay with her.
"I'm sorry, Brittany."
"No." Her voice was cracked, burned by my rejection, "I'm sorry. I should have never learned to love you."
"Brittany..."
I tried to grab her and hold her, let her know it had to be this way but she pushed me away.
"Get off of me!"
I watched her beautiful blonde hair bounce behind her as she ran away from me.