*Here comes the angst.

The Mistake – Part 3 – Awkward Reunion

Having broken the spell, and said their farewells to her father, Kahlan walked solemnly behind Zedd and Cara as they made their way down the path. Zedd had spelled Richard's shoes and the First Wizard was hopeful that they'd soon find him. Kahlan had kept quiet about what had happened the previous night, though she knew by the way Cara kept glancing at her that the Mord'Sith could sense something was amiss.

Then they spotted him, his face lighting up when he saw them, and his warm brown eyes immediately homed in on her. Kahlan wanted nothing more than to return that smile and drop her pack and rush to him, but she could not… especially after what she had felt him do with Nicci last night. As he rushed to close the distance with them, Kahlan put on her confessor's face, determined not to allow what had happened to be known to the others.

"Richard, my boy!" Zedd grinned widely, opening his arms to embrace his grandson.

Richard dropped his pack and pushed past Zedd and Cara, ignoring them, and grabbed Kahlan, cupping her face with his hands. He kissed her and Kahlan stiffened, not knowing how to react. He backed away and caressed her cheek with the pad of his thumb.

"Kahlan…," he began, his voice heavy with regret.

"Not now, Richard," she spoke softly, so that the others could not hear. "Later."

His lower lip trembled and he bit it. He averted his eyes and gave a nod. Taking a deep breath, he put on a smile for the others as he turned to greet them. Zedd gave him a warm grandfatherly hug. And Cara merely smirked and nodded.

Richard went over to his pack to retrieve it and he glanced over at her longingly. Kahlan looked away and held back tears. She fiddled with her dress, as if it needed adjustment. The others began talking about what happened, and Richard responded to their questions, keeping his answers brief and succinct. Kahlan was vaguely aware of what he was saying. Most of it involved running from Sisters of the Dark bent on killing Nicci.

Zedd asked about what had happened last night, commenting on how during the fight Kahlan had been effected by phantom punches. She looked up to see how Richard would respond. The Seeker visibly grew red a bit and said something to the effect that Nicci was punishing him, taking a man up to the room in the inn…

"Fortunately I got there before anything more could happen," Richard finished, his eyes turning away from Kahlan, and bending back down to go through his pack to retrieve the compass.

Zedd gave a nod. "Yes, very fortunate, indeed," the wizard commented. "That Nicci is a devious one." He frowned. "Why didn't she try and kill you after her powers were restored?"

"I… I don't know," Richard said, flushing slightly with hidden regret and shame. The others did not seem to notice. Only Kahlan saw it and understood it. Yes you do, Seeker, because you slept with her, was what Kahlan wanted to snap, but she held her tongue.

"Well, if she ever threatens Kahlan again," Cara replied. "She'll met my agiel."

Kahlan looked away when the Mord'Sith glanced her way, hiding her face with her hair. Her heart was beating with tremendous force beneath her chest and she did not know whether it was because Richard was back or because of what Richard had done. She was confused. She had enjoyed the ghost like feel of his touch, but at the same time she felt betrayed and devastated to know that it was Nicci he was truly touching and not her.

Suddenly she was aware of a presence beside her. She blinked and looked up. "You seemed troubled, dear one," Zedd said, lowering his bushy eyebrows, concern etched on his wrinkly face. "Is something bothering you?"

"No, I'm fine, Zedd," she reassured him with a weak smile.

She turned and walked back to the others, waiting for Richard to pull his pack on and use the compass to find their heading. Zedd frowned, but said nothing. The wizard stepped up behind her and looked towards Richard, taking note of the sudden awkward silence that had befallen the group.

"What's our heading, Seeker?" Zedd asked, eyeing Kahlan for a moment, as they watched Richard pull the compass out and open it. The magical device hummed and whirled, the blue center stone glowed brightly. The runes shimmered and danced around until the light pointed west.

"West," Richard said, clenching his jaw tightly. Kahlan noticed his hand resting on the hilt of his sword. His eyes drifted to her and she could see pain in them. "We go west."

Her heart seemed to clench beneath her breast as the Seeker looked at her, but it was not the same feeling she usually had when Richard looked at her. It was not the flush of excitement that sent a shiver down her back and made her yearn for his touch, his kiss. Instead she felt pain, anguish, and even some anger. There was no room in her heart for love… not today. Not after what he'd done. And he seemed to know it, because he looked away, remorse creasing his handsome features.

"There's a village not far," Zedd was saying, seemingly obviously to the awkwardness that now existed between the Seeker and Mother Confessor. If he sensed it, he kept it to himself. "Perhaps we should rest at the inn… spirits know we could all do with a hot meal in our bellies and a soft mattress for our weary backs."

Richard's brow creased at the mention of the village, but he said nothing about it and gave a nod. "Sounds good, Zedd… lead on."

"Right you are, my boy," Zedd grinned. "The quicker we get there, the faster we can get supper ordered!"

Zedd took off at a vigorous pace for a man of his years and Cara immediately followed him, leaving Kahlan and Richard standing there alone, avoiding each other's eyes. The silence was painful and agonizingly hard to bear. They had never had a moment like this where they were unable to look at or speak with each other. Unable to stand the silence any longer, Kahlan took a deep breath.

"We should hurry… otherwise Zedd will eat the tavern out of house and home, and there will be nothing left of us," Kahlan said, trying to smile and be humorous, but failing. Richard gave a nod, and they turned to catch up with the wizard and Mord'Sith.

XXX

It was hard for him not to notice. Spirits, it was blatantly obvious to anyone with eyes! Normally the Seeker and his Confessor would always walk side by side, there fingers flirting with each other as they held hands, but not today.

Kahlan had drifted back and was following from a distance. Zedd and Cara remained in the lead, and Richard kept pace in the center, yet he slowed once in a while to look back and check on Kahlan. Her eyes never stayed on him for the long, and whenever he looked over his shoulder to make sure she was all right, he'd catch her looking away and biting her lower lip. Richard knew she was fighting hard to hold back tears, and it made him feel all the more guilty and ashamed, knowing he was the cause of that hurt.

It was painful to be separated from his Kahlan. To not feel the heat radiating from her body as they hiked through the woodlands, and the rush of excitement when their shoulders would accidentally brush against one another. He longed to feel her touch, to kiss her, and have her reciprocate.

Richard had felt her stiffen when he had kissed her upon his return and knew that he was not going to get a kiss back. Yet she had remained calm and wore her confessor's mask. At least she had given him that, and had not made a big scene in front of Zedd and Cara. Richard did not know if he could handle the shame of his mistake made public.

He gripped the hilt of the Sword of Truth tightly, so tight that it made his hand ache, but he did not care. He deserved the pain. Slowly, the fury and rage of the sword seeped into his body, and he directed the magic towards himself, basking in the punishing torment it caused him. He deserved nothing less for his crime.

There was a part of him that wished Kahlan had slapped him, or even yelled at him. He would have preferred an angry Kahlan to a Kahlan who distanced herself from him. He vowed that he would make it up to her… that he would explain. That is, if she even allowed him the opportunity.

Taking a deep breath to calm his nerves, Richard winced slightly, as a rippling pain roared through his left arm. His fingers felt on fire and it was like his skin was burning. He stifled the gasp of pain that wanted to escape from his lips, and gritted his teeth, accepting the pain. Even the Sword of Truth knew he was a vile fiend, and was punishing him accordingly.

Richard blinked back the tears of his torment, believing he did not have the right to even have them. Through the blurry vision of the self-imposed pain, he glimpsed the tops of the gabled roofs of the village just beyond the next rise. He wished with all his heart that they would just avoid that village, but Zedd was determined for his heat meal. The wizard turned back and grinned, but his merriment faded when his eyes locked on Richard.

"Richard, my boy," he frowned, narrowing his eyes. "What is the matter? You look as if you are in great pain?"

"I'm fine, Zedd," Richard nearly growled through clenched teeth as he pushed pass his grandfather.

Cara shook her head and rolled her eyes, but said nothing, dropping back to walk with Kahlan, as Zedd placed a hand on Richard shoulder. His grandfather scowled at him and gave him a hard look with his grey eyes.

"Do not try and lie to me, Richard," Zedd said. "Did that Nicci do something to you?"

Richard's eyes grew wide, fearing Zedd knew the truth, but he bit his tongue and shook his head. "No…," he lied. "Just… just forget it, Zedd. I'm fine."

"No, you're not!" Zedd asserted. He stopped and grabbed Richard by his shoulder to halt him. He turned back to the others. "Kahlan, tell Richard he's not fine."

"Richard," Kahlan glared at him, her blue eyes ablaze with anger, as she crossed her arms over her breasts. The bitterness in her voice all too clear to him. "You're not fine!"

Zedd gave a nod and looked back at him. "See, even the Mother Confessor thinks something wrong."

Richard stifled a groan, if only Zedd knew the half of it. His grandfather huffed and placed his hands on his hips.

"You're drawing the sword's magic, aren't you?" Zedd questioned, more demanding than anything.

He narrowed his eyes and looked away, not wanting to admit to anything. However, his grandfather would not have it, and the wizard reached down to pry Richard's fingers from the sword.

"You must stop, Richard," Zedd said. "You're dealing with powerful magic, my boy. The fury the sword gives is only supposed to be used to aide the Seeker when he raising it to defend himself or do battle with the enemy. It is not meant for self-chastisement."

Richard gave a low growl and pushed Zedd away. "Leave me alone, old man!"

Zedd raised his bushy eyebrows. "Bags, boy! Why are you punishing yourself? Did something happen when you were with that devious sorceress?"

Richard paled. He noticed Kahlan's brow crease in anxiety and anguish, and he felt all the more worthy of the pain he was inflicting upon himself at seeing the grief on her face. Zedd stepped forward.

"Richard, my boy, what is the matter?" his grandfather asked, the worry heavy in his voice.

"I'm not your boy!" Richard yelled and pulled the sword from its scabbard. The familiar ring of the Sword of Truth filled the air and the magic seemed to hiss and spit. The blade immediately glowed orange with the rage. But unlike the last time, this fury was not directed at Zedd, but at himself.

A searing pain erupted through his body and it felt like he was being stabbed in the heart and burned alive at the same time. His breath caught as the pain became too much to bear. He dropped to his knees, his arms trembling, and his neck twitching as the agony flowed through his veins. He was vaguely aware of screaming and dropping the sword before everything went black.