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A/N: Haha! I win! :) Hope you guys enjoy. Sorry for the long delay. Thanks for the reviews! I'll try to keep the updates more frequent!

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Chapter Seventeen:

The Lantern was not nearly as busy tonight as it had been a week before, which troubled me. I didn't seat myself at the bar, wanting to avoid Eddie, who I suspected already didn't like me spending time with Sara, though I wasn't sure exactly where that impression came from. And I wasn't sure if it was protective of possessive, but regardless, I avoided him. I sat back in the booths, but all the way down from the group I now recognized as her friends—apparently a permanent fixture here. I wanted to be in her section, which I assumed was up here, and I wanted to be out-of-the-way, which this was, but I didn't want to be so close to them as to make her uncomfortable. Or, myself, really.

Being around them reminded me of how young and innocent Sara truly was, despite the moments of… wickedness… I had witnessed. She had explained one of them—her lascivious comment in the classroom had been a result of nerves, which I could legitimately see. Of course my… attack… on her in my office might put her in an awkward position. And it made much more sense to believe that Sara's unwavering confidence and the look of satisfaction she wore when she left were a front rather than who she truly was. Because the Sara I knew was sweet and a little shy—though never about her academic opinions—and though probably not a virgin, especially considering the way she occasionally dressed and the sexy undergarments I had accidentally glimpsed through her window that day, she did not strike me as a woman prone to being aggressive in seeking out her own pleasure. For all her swagger, she seemed kind of… submissive. Like her behavior was a lie or… or an act she put on because she thought it was what was wanted of her, rather than because of who she was.

"Hi… Jameson?" I glanced up, seeing Sara looking calm and collected, though her eyes told me she was nervous again. I made a mental note to stop taking her behavior at face value… to get to the bottom of who exactly she was, on the inside.

"No, no whiskey tonight." I smiled, and a little bit of color rose in her cheeks. "How about a beer and… You guys serve some food, don't you?"

"Oh, sure. Yeah." She stretched her long body across the booth's table, catching a little fold out menu from the far end with just the tips of two fingers. I swallowed heavily, having been privy to this action in a most intimate fashion. She really was all long lines and gentle, sloping curves. I was rock hard under the table. She passed it to me, and then bit her lip. "I, uh… I didn't think you'd really come, tonight."

I looked up at her. She was shifting her weight from foot to foot, another tell, and her face, though trying to seem nonchalant, was begging for a little reassurance. Which was only natural. I'd thrown her against a file cabinet and kissed her in a way I was not certain I'd ever kissed anyone, and then made her cry while telling her that nothing could happen between us. I knew who held the power between the two of us, and it was obvious that my actions would throw her for a loop. I reached out and squeezed her hand, and when surprised eyes finally met mine, I smiled. "I said I would come, and I did. I won't ever lie to you, Sara."

She smiled, awkwardly, and then the sound of a crash from the kitchen—distant but ominous—seemed to snap her back to herself. She cleared her throat, pulled her hand from mine, and glanced at the grease-stained menu. "It's um… it's mostly drunk food, but…"

"No, that's fine. I'm planning on staying a while anyway, so it gives me something to do while you're checking your other tables. …Nachos and fries?"

Her smile this time was larger, a little closer to the beam I'd seen on other occasions. "Okay. And a beer? Any preference?"

"Bud light?"

"Okay… I'll be right back with that." She turned and walked away, still smiling, and I forced myself to eye the menu again, rather than watching her slim hips as they moved away from me. By the time she returned, I had talked down my erection and was able to give her a smile when she slid into my booth.

"Do you mind? It's slow and I'm kind of avoiding my friends right now…"

"Of course not. …Why are you avoiding them?" I asked, placing a fry into my mouth.

"Oh, Stacey's just being a drama queen." At my raised eyebrow, she sighed and launched into an explanation I'm not certain even she knew she was about to give. "Well, okay, she and Derek are friends-with-benefits which never bothered her while she had guys on the side, but the last couple weeks her regulars have been out of town or busy and so now she's acting like Derek is cheating on her and she's trying to make every one side with her and it's just gotten…"

Color filled her cheeks again, and I smirked. "And, uh… 'Friends-with-Benefits'… Does that mean what I think it means?"

She looked away from me. "Yeah. …I'm sorry, Dr. Grissom, I just—"

"Hey." I caught her hand again. "Don't… don't be sorry. I want to hear about you. Your life. That's why I asked. I didn't expect an eighteen year old drama queen's problems to center around the conflict in the Middle East or the latest issue of Forensic Science Today." She chuckled at that, and tried to pull her hand away, but I kept it. "I… I want to be clear about something, Sara. I… I can't be with you the way I think you want me to be."

Her eyes and smile immediately dropped, and she nodded. "I know. You told me that today. I… I'm not—"

"No, I know. I know. I just… I want to make sure I'm not sending any mixed signals here, okay? You are a bright, beautiful girl and I would love to get to know you, if you'll let me… but we both have to know that there's a line we can't cross, okay?"

She glanced up at me through a layer of thick, dark lashes. "…Okay."

I smiled and squeezed her hand before releasing it. "Great. Then I would love to have lunch with you, tomorrow, if you would still like to."

She blinked in a little bit of surprise, and nodded. "Yeah. I… Yeah. Of course. Um, did you… want to meet somewhere or…"

"You're the local. You tell me where to go, and I'll be there."

This time I got the big smile I wanted, and felt good about placing a large tip on the table and leaving about twenty minutes later, once I'd finished my food and beer and left her to tend to her tables and manage the drama queen. A single glance told me who she was—I mean, yeah, she was the only girl at the table who I hadn't already identified as Anni from the last time I'd come here, but she also had the look of someone trying to stir up trouble on her own behalf. I was laughing as I left the bar.

Sara was at her restaurant of choice before I was—as soon as I stepped in, I saw her waving to gain at a little table in the back, by a window. Not that "the back" was very far from the front. We were in a tiny little Irish Pub right on the harbor, and we were more or less alone in the place, though it was only 11:00—a little early for a lunch rush. I smiled as I sat down.

She looked… beautiful, but I didn't say that. We were… friends, maybe, if you could call it that, and I wasn't going to make this like a date. After all, she looked like she had tried to keep it casual too—her shirt was a very nice button shirt that looked silky enough to make my fingers twitch with longing, but she was in jeans and had the blue coat I'd seen several times before this slung over the back of her chair. Her hair was down and curly, but did not look like she'd taken an exorbitant amount of time on it. Which was good. I picked up my menu and glanced down at it. "Any recommendations?"

She spoke up without hesitation. "The crab cakes. Best you'll find in town. Although, if you want to get something else for a meal, they have them as an appetizer too…"

She fell back into silence, and I frowned. I had spent the night trying to define what this would be, between us. Maybe after I was done with my guest professor-ship, we could keep in touch. Be pen-pals, exchange occasional phone calls… change our relationship to one a little more… equal. And then, maybe, I could visit her and take her on a real date. …The prospect of a relationship with Sara Sidle that would not harm her… where I could desire her without having to admonish myself… well, it encouraged thoughts that I did have to admonish myself for, but it also brightened my mood. I set down my menu and fixed her with a smile that said we were not going to feel awkward about what was or wasn't between us.

"So… What happened with the drama queen? Stacey?"

She looked surprised, but she smiled, taking a drink of her water and setting down her menu as well. "Oh, nothing. She mostly threw a tantrum all night, killed everyone's buzz, and then let Derek take her home anyway. But as far as I know he hasn't agreed to stop seeing anyone else, so we'll see what happens."

I gave her a bewildered smile. "Is this… Friends-with-Benefits thing… common?" At her raised eyebrow, I felt the need to equivocate. "I, ah… Even when I was in college, I had a pretty small group of friends… It's kind of a new concept to me. You know, it would make a pretty interesting modern anthropological or sociological study. Is it a divergent trend in our culture, a deviant behavior? And do the people who partake legitimately feel nothing but friendship, or is it a means of self-deception on the part of one and a means of using someone without guilt on the part of the other?"

She watched me with wide eyes for a long second, and then she snorted. "You're so full of shit." I blinked in surprise, and though her smile faltered, she kept on with that air of unrelenting confidence. "You asked because you wanted to know if I had a friend-with-benefits, but you didn't feel like you could ask. …And then you covered it up with the skill of someone who has aced a lot of essay tests without studying…"

Her face was a challenge, defiant, and though I wasn't sure I'd ever not studied for a test, I nodded. "…Sorry."

She laughed, and it sent a thrill down my spine. "Don't be. I mean, it's not like we haven't already admitted… how we feel. Right?" At my nod, she nodded too. "Right. So, I mean… it's natural. You can ask. …We're…getting to know each other, after all." At my reluctant face, she laughed. "Okay. I'll volunteer the information. I don't have a boyfriend, nor do I have a friend-with-benefits."

She laughed again when she caught the look of relief on my features, and then a waitress had finally reached us. "So sorry about the delay. Can I start you two off with anything to drink?"

We ordered food and drinks, including a crab cake appetizer, and in the slight lull, I asked Sara about school. And somehow, that carried us not only through our meal, but through a chilly walk on the beach and into a conversation about Halloween, which was just under a month away, now. When we parted ways, it was with a sheepish hug and then an awkward wave… but when I called her the next day to see a movie with me, it was less so. And if I expected Sara to act differently in class, I was pleasantly surprised that she seemed almost less interested in me now that we were… doing whatever we were doing… outside of class. She came in, gave me a distant smile, and focused on studying her notes for the twenty minutes prior to class. And her test was flawless—absolutely every answer correct. She was giving me no reasons to feel strange about our relationship.

She didn't call that night, and I wasn't sure if she was waiting for me or if she wanted some space. Or if she was working, like always. So I waited, and she called me on Tuesday night, on her break from work, just saying she wanted to talk. And when she had to go back to work, on impulse, I commented that I wished she had more time. …Which is how she came to call me when she got home, just after one a.m. …She woke me up, but I couldn't bring myself to be upset.