Disclaimer: I don't own.

A/N: It's a little short, but I'm still making some decisions about Sara's side of this, so I held off. Sorry it's coming so late in the day--busy morning. I got to go shopping for my birthday (The fiance and I pick our own presents... Lol), and then tonight we're going out for it sooo if I update again today, it'll be late-ish.

Enjoy! Thanks for the reviews! Sorry to everyone who was mad at Grissom for that...this chapter isn't going to help...

Chapter Twenty Six:

I thought I had convinced her. She had acted convinced… hurt… She had acted like my words would be enough to make certain she would walk happily down the aisle to Jace and the life she deserved. I was certain that I would not see her in my lectures on Thursday morning, because she had been angry and because I knew Jace's parents were coming into town today. And she wasn't in the first few… around noon I saw her slide into a seat in the back, just as I was beginning.

It startled me… confused me… unsettled me. My hands were trembling as I gestured, perhaps too largely, while speaking. She didn't come down between that lecture and my last, but she did come down when I was done. I put my hands in my pockets, because I didn't know what to do with them. My palms were sweaty, my mouth dry.

"Sara."

"Dr. Grissom."

I frowned at that. I had stopped trying to correct her, but I still would have preferred she use my given name. "I… didn't expect to see you today."

She gave me a half smile. "I didn't plan to come. …I… don't believe you."

My eyebrows shot up. "You… Excuse me?"

"You told me that it hurt to talk about her, but instead of letting me simply be jealous of that, explained that you just saw it as a stupid mistake. If you were honest at first, why not just let me be jealous? At the time, you thought you wanted me… Why wouldn't you let me be jealous? You wanted to reassure me that you were no longer in love with her. And then last night, you spend the majority of the night questioning me about details no one in their right mind should care about, and acting as if my responses are vital. If you loved her, you wouldn't care so much about me."

I leaned my head back slowly, taking the time to think over her words and gather my thoughts. "Sara, honey… I don't want to hurt you. Please believe me when I say that—"

"No. You're lying because…" She frowned. "I don't know. Some twisted sense of martyrdom. You'll lie and hurt yourself because you think that the best thing for me is to marry Jace and be sure about him."

"And it isn't? Sara, you told me yesterday that you'd never had any intention of leaving him."

"Because of what you said! I…" The corners of her beautiful mouth turned down. "I was trying to… hurt you… as much as you hurt me."

I shook my head slowly. "Sara… I was trying to reassure myself as much as you that I wasn't still in love with her. I told you last night, the attraction I feel for you is real… but I can't ever give you my whole heart, and you deserve better than that, even at my expense. I was being honest, honey, when I told you that. I… wanted to learn everything about you, because I had been doubting myself all day, since we'd had the conversation about her and your jealousy. I thought… the only reason I doubted in the first place was because I didn't know you all that well yet. I thought… if I could learn the ins and outs of who you are, she wouldn't even enter into the picture anymore, but…"

She looked down and to the side, nodding slowly. "But… she does. Despite knowing about my bellybutton and what I'd do with a million dollars."

There was the space of a heartbeat in which I hesitated, unwilling to send her away from me once again. I paused, the truth poised on my lips beside the lie, but I loved her… I couldn't believe that I had fallen in love with anyone so quickly, but I had and I did and I knew that I always would… so I made her happy. "Yes. …She does. I'm… sorry, Sara."

She shrugged. "It's fine. We… can just be friends now. It's better this way."

I nodded, slowly. "I… I want to be friends. I… If you'd be okay with that… We should stay in touch."

She nodded. "We should. Listen… Jace's parents are flying in tonight so I've got to…" She gestured over her shoulder.

"Right. …You don't want to upset the future in-laws."

"Yeah…" She gave me a sad smile. "I… I'm glad I met you, Dr. Grissom. I'm sorry about…"

I shook my head. "No, please… don't be sorry. I'm sorry."

She shook her head too. "We're both sorry then. Let's, uh… just put this behind us. We can have a… professional relationship. …Email me."

God, that felt so empty. Empty, but more than I had hoped for. "Yeah. I… I will."

She nodded, turned, and left me… and I gathered up my things and headed back to the hotel, planning to eat alone and go to sleep early, alone, and force my way through the last day before I could catch a standby flight. Once in Vegas, I could bury myself in work… come up with projects and maybe purchase some new pets… train some new racing cockroaches or buy Stevie a girlfriend.

Although, I didn't think I could handle him getting some when I would be perpetually lonely.

I didn't eat, and I didn't sleep, and I didn't head back to the bar I had met her in to drink myself into a stupor and find someone who would let me take them back here and pretend they were her… though I was sincerely tempted towards the latter…

I curled up in bed, staring at the ceiling, and allowed myself to imagine her. Not just her body, though I knew, of course, how this would end. I imagined what meeting her could have been like, if she'd been single. I imagined taking her home from the bar or at least beginning a long seduction that night… I imagined seeing her the next day in my lecture and the joy that would be mixed with the surprise of seeing one another again.

I imagined the next night at the bar, playing pool, and wondered whether I would have been nearly so bold if she hadn't been engaged. I imagined wining and dining her, slow dancing with her, kissing her heatedly at the door to the apartment she would live in alone, and it taking everything in me to decline her invitation that I come inside. I imagined worrying about her living there alone, and marveling at her intelligence, and falling for her more slowly… more honestly. I imagined her falling for me, and admitting it.

I imagined losing my control late in the week, yesterday or today, after having dropped her off. I imagined the kiss outside her door going on and on, my hands in her hair and my senses overloaded with her, and the sounds that came bubbling up from the back of her throat so temptingly. I imagined her struggling to unlock the door with my hands around her waist, my lips on her neck… imagined pressing her against the wall in the entryway, once again causing her to moan.

I imagined how we would struggle to make it to the bedroom she would occupy alone without ever breaking contact with one another, the taste of her filling me up as her hands moved everywhere, the indescribable sounds slipping between our lips freely. I imagined her saying something clever and dry and sarcastic and me kissing the smirk off her face, tipping her back onto the mattress with even force to cause her to cry out, at first in surprise and then in pleasure, because I would be hovering above her, one hand sliding from her stomach down to between her beautiful thighs, pressing softly and teasingly at first.

I imagined how she would be impatient, begging me… and how sweet it would be to give in… I imagined the sound of her coming and the feel of her body as it writhed, and the lazy, exhausted, sated way she would kiss me when I finally pulled my hand and mouth away from her, my penis taking their place. I imagined the tender way in which she would open herself to me, and the absolutely reverent way in which I would take her, and I imagined the slow and steady rhythm we would set, caring more about exploring one another than meeting our eventual ends.

And when we came—when I gave in and let myself go, alone in my hotel room, groaning her name to the empty air—it was explosive… like nothing either of us had ever dreamed of. Like night and day and light and dark and truth and lies were all redefined, the world an entirely different place because of our connection.

I cried, when I fell asleep, holding my pillow in my arms instead of her slender frame. I knew I had done the right thing, but that didn't mean it didn't hurt. Every piece of me hurt.