Disclaimer: I don't own.

A/N: Wow, people are mean to Catherine. :) She's trying to help, I promise! ...You guys will like this chapter.

That was exciting to say. I haven't been able to say that for a long time. Lol.

Oh, and please review the last chapter and this one, if not seperately, then at least address each in a review? 'Cause I'm posting before I've gotten many, and that's pretty good of me, considering how many times I've updated today. Right? Right. :)

Chapter Thirty Three:

"Do you want to tell me what the hell that was?" I asked her as soon as we were in our room with the door closed. Catherine laughed, turning around in a strangely graceful spin, a knowing look in her eyes.

"…She is the reason you've been so… off… for a year. You met her when you went to San Francisco, and she was either already married, or getting married, and you got burned." My eyes were wide, my mouth gaping in a fashion reminiscent of a fish. She tossed her hair, looking pleased with herself. "Gil… Let me tell you a few things. First of all, she wants you. She was eyeing you from across the pool before they ever came up to us… and she had fire in her eyes when I touched you. …The best way to make those feelings more… acute… is to make her jealous."

I rolled my eyes. "So you grope me without letting me know what the hell you're doing… and now we have to lie about our relationship for a month, because you concocted some torrid back story in your head?"

She just grinned at me. "Gil, you're too transparent. I mean, really. You're in love with her… you met her and her husband right before you turned into Debbie Downer, and your eyes were bugging out of your head when you saw her. You called Jace by his first name, but called her 'Mrs. Wendt,' and not a little spitefully…and she was the one you must have known better, because she's the criminalist. She was the one in your lecture. …I'm not a CSI for nothing."

I huffed. "I'm going to go change for bed."

She laughed. "Oh, honey, you don't want to share the shower with me?" I slammed the door to the bathroom behind me in response, and her laugh came through the doorway. This was a flipping game to her.

I agonized over the newly learned details while in the shower, and despite not wanting to break down, I also was unwilling to have a wet dream while sharing a room with Catherine, so I took care of myself in the shower, in a manner that was more about performing a duty detached than actual taking pleasure in the act. I mean, not that I didn't have enough to think about—Sara's body was as long and willowy as I had remembered, but delightfully full in pregnancy, everything rounder. …And I'd never, ever seen that much of her before today. As always, my imagination had not done justice to the reality.

Thankfully, we didn't see them the next day, or the day after it, and I was almost able to put her from my mind, focusing instead on relaxing and having fun, because it felt good to smile again, after so long… and I wasn't going to let her take it away from me. Plus, when we weren't around Sara and Jace, Catherine flirted with every male in sight, which spared me having to tend to her need for constant attention.

I was a much quieter person, in nature, and though I loved Catherine deeply, spending more than a day with her at any given time was… trying. And the cruise was a little over three weeks long. I soaked up every moment of silence for contemplation that I could.

We were not so lucky the fourth day into our trip—we ran into Sara, alone. Catherine pinched my butt, which made me flush like a tomato, and waved Sara over to us. "Hey! Where's your other half?"

I scowled at the reference. They might be married, but he was not her other half. She had doubted him too much for that to be true. She smiled in a way that told me she was merely tolerating Catherine, and her hand kept flickering to Catherine's hand on my shoulder and my reluctant arm around her waist. …Maybe Catherine had been right. I mean, I wasn't certain that I felt good with lying, but she was showing her feelings more obviously now that I seemed less hesitant. "He, uh… he had to talk to someone about finding internet access or… some way to contact his office. They called his cell phone, but of course there's no service. I don't even know how he checked the message…"

I frowned. "Where's he work now? I assume he doesn't need to call the garage?"

She smiled slightly, seeming surprised that I had remembered his job. "No, he… he's head of… financial something or other… with Mercer and Murdoch. It must be some kind of crisis…"

Catherine glanced at her watch. "Oh shoot, honey bear, I forgot I had that spa appointment. I'm gonna have to run if I'm going to make it… Will you be okay without me?"

She was barely concealing her grin. Seriously, honey bear?! "No, that's fine. You'd better hurry," I said, looking at my own watch. She laid a wet kiss on my cheek and rushed away, and Sara and I were left standing there, awkwardly. I cleared my throat. "If, uh… if you were busy… I can…"

"No. …I mean, I… I was just kind of exploring the ship some more, waiting for Jace."

I didn't know what I was doing, I just knew that I wanted to stay in her presence. I wanted to see if Catherine were right. "I… could walk with you. I mean, if… you wouldn't mind the company."

She shook her head in a way that reminded me of the day on campus, when I had professed my love to her, kissed her silly, and she had still turned me away. My stomach churned at the thought, and I pushed it away, falling into step with her as she continued around the edge of the deck. I searched for a topic of conversation, and settled on something that had bothered me, when she mentioned where Jace worked. "So… Mercer and Murdoch. How do you feel about him working with that company?"

She glanced at me uncertainly. "I… I don't follow. They produce… medical supplies, mostly. Medicine droppers and syringes and plastic tubing and—"

I raised an eyebrow. Did she really not know? "No, I… I meant that… Not what they make, but what they do."

She shook her head. "I'm sorry, I… don't know what you're talking about."

I frowned. "One of the first things you ever told me about yourself is that you're an environmentalist. It was all over the papers in Vegas… they're one of the worst companies in the world when it comes to pollution, improper disposal of waste… They have a deal with an oil company for the production of their plastic… they get it cheaper, but that oil company has been responsible for the last five major spills off the coasts of Central and South America… and that doesn't even go into the percentage of their factories are in third-world nations, with workers in sweat-shop conditions making less than a dollar a day…"

Her eyes were wide, and we had stopped walking when I started talking about the oil company. She was looking at me in disbelief, and like she was in pain. I worried, uncertain, and finally steered her over to a chair to sit down, worrying about her reaction. It seemed… extreme. I almost felt guilty, having not realized how big a deal this minor detail would apparently become. "Sara, are you okay?"

She turned her gaze on me in disbelief. "And… all of this is… to save money, right?"

I blinked in surprise. "I suppose so… there's a local group in Vegas that's been making a deal about them, because they want to move one of their distributing locations into the area, but the land they're looking at is close to Lake Mead and…"

"So… the Director of Financial Services… would be in charge of all of that. Right? I mean… there's no way he couldn't know."

I swallowed, realizing what I'd done. A strange emotion, guilt mixed with elation, jumped in my chest, and I had to take a deep breath to settle it, so that I could rationally speak. "I… I don't know, Sara. I… I'm sorry. I didn't realize that this would be… such a problem."

She grit her teeth. "It isn't your fault… Apparently, my husband and I have something serious to discuss…"

I frowned, uncertain how to respond. I turned my gaze to the ocean for a minute, and then over the railing and finally back to her. "…Did you want to see said husband, right now?"

She blinked in surprise and looked over the railing we were seated by, peering over and seeing Jace looking around, searching for her. Her eyes were hard and she stood up. "No. …No, I don't think there's any way I won't create a scene." She headed off in the opposite direction of the stairs leading between the two decks, but stopped after a few paces, glancing back at me. "…Are you coming with, or staying here?"

So, surprised and bewildered but so unbelievably happy again, despite knowing the choices she had made, I stood and followed her away from her husband.

We ended up in an on-ship movie theatre, watching an old western, which reminded me of the dream I'd had in the hotel room… the first I'd had of her… the one that had been most lifelike. I had honestly believed she'd come to me, having found Jace doing the unforgivable… but the way she'd reacted to this bit of news, this act might be worse than cheating. I mean, she had still chosen him over me. I knew that. …But I also knew that a big part of it had been because I'd changed my mind about her… because she'd thought I wasn't certain.

It wasn't due to a lack of attraction.

…So I would have to be very consistent, and supportive, these next few weeks. Reassure her that I did know what I wanted. If she chose him again, it would absolutely kill me… but I couldn't let it go without trying. I couldn't let her walk away again without knowing that I still loved her. I had loved her for a year and I would continue to love her, whether she ran away with me or went back to him and whether she was pregnant with his child or not.

I could be a good step-dad. I would love the child, do visitation… Jace seemed like a reasonable guy. Over time, we might even have a good working relationship. We could alternate Take Your Child to Work days…

I got caught up in this fantasy world for so long that I missed the majority of the movie. I glanced over at her when the credits were rolling—her eyes stared at the screen, but they weren't taking anything in. They were dark and unmoving, her arms crossed, her fingernails digging in to the skin on her upper arms. Skin I had caressed, once upon a time, and found irresistibly soft. I couldn't help it—I laid a hand over said hand and arm, relishing in the feel of her, in a pretense of getting her attention. "You ready?"

Her eyes softened as they fell upon me, and she glanced at her watch in frustration. "…Yeah. When's… Catherine… done at the spa?"

We walked out of the theatre, closer to one another than we had been before. "I… guess I'm not really sure. How long do those things take?"

She laughed. "You're asking the wrong person, buddy. I, uh… I really don't want to eat alone. Did you want t—"

"Pookie!" Catherine's voice rang through the air. I cringed visibly. She was about to ask me to eat with her, and now… "There you are! Oh, I just feel so refreshed! …It's almost dinner time, should we go?" She glanced at Sara. "Hello."

"Hi." Sara responded, abruptly.

I frowned. "Sara…Why don't you join us? She and Jace are fighting, honey."

Catherine's eyes flashed at this, but she grinned. "Oh, of course, pookie." She turned from me to look at Sara, linking her arm through the brunette's. "Men: you can't live with 'em, but you can't cuddle with a Bob."

Sara frowned, asking the question that was on my lips. "A… Bob?"

"Bee-Oh-Bee." She clarified, spelling. When Sara still stared at her without understanding, Catherine got exasperated. "…Battery Operated Boyfriend…?" She said, in a voice that implied that much was obvious. Sara blushed and I choked, though there was nothing in my throat, and Catherine's laugh floated back to me as I followed them.

Oh God. I knew she thought she was helping, but…