Disclaimer: I don't own.

A/N: Once again, I'm sorry it's so short, but this was all the time I had and now I'm not sure whether I'll be able to update this evening at all, soo... I wanted to get something up.

Let me know what you think! :)

Chapter Forty One:

I didn't know what I was going to do about Jace… but I knew that, this time around, I needed to be more honest with myself, even if it hurt him. Gil actually gave me the idea, when he told me they'd given them a suite to make up for the door issue. It meant that they had some rooms on board unoccupied… So when Gil and I parted back on the ship and he headed to his room to change, I headed to the office to discuss getting my own room for the rest of the trip.

I mean, hell, we could afford it… and I needed some space.

No, more than that, I needed… I needed to not be sharing a room with the man who had deceived me on more than one occasion. I mean, I admit it, I haven't been the best wife in the world. Especially not on this trip… but it was mostly a reaction to his actions. And I still didn't know if I could forgive them.

They ran the credit card, I signed the slip, I received my keys. It wasn't as nice as the suite I was staying in, but it was decent… and it was what they had. And because I'm a coward (and because I didn't want to find myself locked in all day…), I waited until Jace moved into the dining room and sat down before I hurried into the room to pack my things and take them to my new room.

Finally, I made it to the dining room and sat across from my husband. He smiled at me and tilted his head. "…Hi. Did you have fun today? It looks like you got a little sun…" He reached out to brush his fingers across my reddened cheek bones, but I backed away.

"…You broke their door."

He raised his eyebrows and sat back in his chair. "…I'm sorry?"

"You heard me. You paid the security guy to steal the section of tape that showed you messing with their door so they couldn't get out. Then, you pretended to have no idea why they weren't here yesterday, while I sat alone… and you tricked me into the spending the day with you."

He raised an eyebrow. "That's an interesting theory."

I rolled my eyes. "Oh please, Jace. You're the only one with motive, and you had the opportunity, the ability, the resources… I investigate crimes every day. I can tell when the predominance of circumstantial evidence negates coincidence. I mean, really, do you think I'm stupid?"

He moved his lips from side to side, and then sighed. "No, I don't. Sara… What would you do? If you saw me, hanging on the words of another woman… eyeing her up? And if you told me that she had told you that she was pursuing me, and I still continued to spend time with her?"

"Like the receptionist who grabbed your ass who you refused to fire because she was the only competent one out of the last seven you'd hired?"

"I…" He stopped, frowning, and I nodded.

"Exactly. As long as nothing crosses that invisible line, I'm not doing anything you haven't done. And believe me, I'm far more likely to leave you because of what you did—what you kept from me—than because of Gil."

"But you admit you're attracted to him."

I sighed. "Yes, I do. …But I can also tell you that if you had done nothing wrong, it would have taken hell and earth coming apart to make me even consider breaking up our family. …It's your actions that have put me in this position… made me feel this way. I don't… I don't even know you, anymore."

"Yes you do, Sara! I'm still the same guy you met and fell in love with…"

I swallowed. "Then maybe I never knew you to begin with. I… need some time. I want… a break, from you."

"What? Sara… What are you talking about? I'm your husband… we're having a baby!"

"I know," I nodded. "And I don't take any of that lightly… but I don't want to make decisions because you're there, making me feel guilty. I… want to make decisions based on where I want to go, in life, from here. …I promise, this is far less about Gil than it is about us."

"So… I don't understand. What are you going to do?"

"…I got my own room. I… I want to spend some time apart. …I want to have some time to think."

He scoffed. "So, what? On our honeymoon, I'll be alone in our suite waiting for you to make up your mind?! …Waiting for you to decide if you want to keep fucking him or come back to me?!"

My eyes flashed and I stood up, moving closer to him and speaking in a low voice, because he had drawn the attention of several other tables with his last statements. "…Honey, let me be as clear as I can be about this—You are going to be alone on our honeymoon because of the mistakes you made. And believe me, since your door stunt got Catherine a separate room free of charge, if I were fucking him, I wouldn't have bothered to get my own room."

I walked away from him, angry again, but thinking not for the first time how stupid it was to do this. Chances were, Gil was attracted to me but… but he really wasn't ready to be in a serious relationship with a struggling single mother. Which meant that walking away from Jace was walking away from the financial security and stable family life I had always told myself were necessities before I ever considered bringing a child into the world.

I went down to eat with Gil and Catherine, who had apparently gotten sick of 'Cool Carl' because he was nowhere to be seen. I wasn't sure that I wanted to tell them, yet, that I had gotten my own room. It seemed like such a big step… It felt like I was telling Gil that I wanted to be pursued, and I wasn't sure that I did. …There was a lot to be lost in giving up Jace. It wasn't a decision I took lightly and I hadn't been lying when I had told him it had more to do with his mistakes than my attraction to Gil.

I valued my family and the life I wanted my child to have far above my own happiness. …Not only that, but I knew for a fact that I could find a level of happiness with Jace, even after knowing the Gil existed and had wanted me. …But could I forgive the man his deception? I didn't know.

That night Catherine came with us to play pool, and she even managed to talk me into going to get a massage with her the next day before being swept off by a tall, dark, and handsome stranger who wanted to buy her a drink. Gil played even better than he had before, although I had been fairly certain he'd been missing on purpose at the time. We got very competitive, to the point that when I bent over to make a shot, I would feel him standing very close behind me, making my whole body go on alert and my hands tremble.

Needless to say, leaning in and breathing against his ear had the same effect, and before the end of the night, we were both playing much worse than in the beginning. When we left, once Gil told Catherine that he was going and made certain she was okay, he offered to walk me to my room but I shook my head, telling him that I would be fine, mostly because I still wasn't sure I wanted him to know. I felt like it was an invitation that I wasn't ready to give. He looked reluctant, but he let me go, and I hurried down to it before locking the door and collapsing in bed.

It had been one of the longest days of my life.