Disclaimer: I don't own.

A/N: Thank you for the generous outpourings of reviews for this. Apparently, I'm doing something you like (or hate... :P). I'm sorry the update came so late--I had two possible plans for how this story could go, and I finally picked one. It's probably not apparent in this chapter, but I struggle to write at all without a clear direction... :) Enjoy!

Chapter Fifty One:

Apparently we were on a private flight—Jace had had to pay all the costs for a tiny little plane to get us to San Jose that day. It was awful. At least, once in San Jose, we were on a real flight with real people. I was able to get a stewardess to switch me into the only empty seat on the plane, as it was next to a bathroom and I warned her that the motion on planes aggravated my morning sickness. Jace was angry, but he wasn't going to make a scene, and at least then I could get some sleep.

I closed my eyes and replayed all the moments with Gil—the sensual and intimate as well as just the kind and caring… I thought back to the delight in his eyes when he was telling me about this bug or that one, and did everything in my power to memorize how he had looked in that moment, eyes shining, cheeks red from the heat, face tan and shaded by his silly straw hat, a light layer of sweat making him look all the more attractive…

I let myself imagine that we could have taken the trail ourselves… made love in the water by the waterfall. Hell, under the waterfall. I fell asleep then, soothed, dreaming of the cool water lapping over our burning bodies while I licked the salty sweat from his neck and he made me his, again and again. …I would always be his.

Once in San Francisco, I locked myself in the guest bedroom to sleep and bright and early the next morning, began moving my things from the master in there. Jace didn't say anything, though he seemed angry about it. We didn't speak that day, though I did make a trip to the Crime Lab, putting in for the rest of my vacation time—I had four weeks—gave them my four week notice, and that night, I locked my door again. The next day, he gave me a list of every company that had attempted to recruit him, along with their various locations. "…You do the research, you tell me which one to accept, and we'll make it happen…"

I scoffed, but figured it was the only way I could be sure he wasn't doing the same thing all over again—the rest of the time we had as vacation time, I spent researching everything I could. None of them were perfect, but one stood out as making an effort… It was in Boston, and I jumped at the chance. I mean, sure, we'd be closer to his parents than I liked… but I felt comfortable in Boston. I felt safer, there. It wasn't like moving to a foreign place all alone—because Jace didn't count. He might be living with me, but that didn't mean I wasn't alone.

The day we were schedule to arrive home, Rachel called me. Jace had gone in to work, so I invited her over. She commented on my tan and how amazed she was—she expected us to have piles of laundry around. She was surprised to hear that Jace was at work. I got her coffee and sat down with juice, rolling my cold glass between my hands.

"…We, uh… skipped the end of the cruise. Flew home instead."

"What? Why?" She gasped. "Is the baby okay?!"

I frowned at what I perceived to be false concern—how could she betray me and still behave this way? "The baby is fine. We… ran into someone on the ship."

She frowned. "Who?"

"…Dr. Grissom." She set down the coffee mug she'd been about to drink from, her eyes wide. I watched my juice. "…I suppose you thought, with my temper, that if I thought he hadn't shown, I would never speak to him again. …I really didn't want to, actually, but Jace just insisted we go say hello."

I looked up at her, my face expectant, and she sighed. "Sara… I was trying to protect you."

"…By lying to me when I was so clearly uncertain?"

She looked affronted. "No! Sara… I was trying to… You were just having cold feet! You love Jace! You… you've been so happy since you married him!"

I shook my head, not even able to scream at her. Screaming was an action I generally reserved for strangers or people I cared about—it was when you had meant something to me and betrayed me to the point that I had lost all faith in you entirely that I couldn't be bothered to yell. "I, uh… I married Jace because he was safe, and because you convinced me that if Gil wasn't there, he wasn't safe. …My whole life, all I've wanted is safety." I swallowed. "And now, I'm trapped in a marriage with a man I hate who is blackmailing me with the loss of my child to keep me with him, and away from Gil. …I don't feel remotely safe."

She looked so distraught, but my guilt didn't move me—she was beyond it. "Sara, I… I didn't mean—"

"I really don't… want to hear it. I figured I'd have you here, figure out if you were doing it to be spiteful or out of some bizarre loyalty to Jace or if you simply thought playing God in my life was for my own good… I have my answer now. …Just so you know, I wanted you to be godmother."

"Sara… Please, I… You're my best friend. I can't live without you. We… we always said we were the sisters we never had."

"We're moving to Boston. So I guess you'll just have to get used to it. …You know, even now, I would never betray you, like that. …There are so many things that Aaron doesn't know about…" I shook my head. "…I think you can see yourself out?" I rose, leaving my juice and going back to my room, curling up in bed. Kyleigh and Michelle wouldn't be off work for a few hours, but if I could trust them, I would call Gil from their house. Today was the first day he'd be back in the states…

When I heard her leave, I sat up slowly, moving to the computer and finding the phone number to Boston's Crime Lab—I dialed slowly, inhaling and exhaling…

"Crime Lab, Can I help you?" Came a woman's voice, her Boston accent thick. I smiled at the sound of it.

"I was wondering if you were hiring for level three CSIs? I'm a criminalist out of San Francisco and my husband is getting transfer—"

"I'm sorry, ma'am, but we don't have any positions to fill."

"…On any shift?"

"No, ma'am."

"Okay. …Thank you."

I sighed in frustration. Well, at the very least, there were many colleges in the Boston area… I could probably get a job teaching. Hell, I could send their crime lab my resume anyway… Harvard and Berkeley ought to carry a little weight, and San Francisco's lab, while not being up there with Vegas, was still quite respectable…

I spent the afternoon typing up a resume and printing multiple copies. With addresses I'd found online, I packed them in envelopes and applied postage, moving into my car with the stack as Jace was pulling in. "…What's all that?" He asked suspiciously. I frowned.

"Resumes. I need to work in Boston."

He frowned at this too, and silently held out his hand. I all but growled. "I'm not sending him a letter."

"…Then there's no reason I shouldn't be able to see."

I scowled. "I'm not going to have you searching my person constantly to make sure I'm not in contact with him… it's creepy controlling. You're just going to have to trust me."

He snatched the letters from my hand. "Well, I don't trust you. You slept with him on our honeymoon while pregnant with our child… which leads me to believe that there's very little you're not capable of." He handed them back. "Supper?"

I tossed my hair, apparently channeling Catherine, and feeling an angry sort of power as I walked away. "You know where the kitchen is." He had been ordering take out the past few nights as I secluded myself in my room—but apparently he'd expected that I would go back to cooking, once he was back at work, because he was more likely to burn down the house than he was to make something edible. He was wrong.

I mailed my letters, and called Kyleigh and Michelle's house on the way, tapping my hands anxiously on the steering wheel. I had a feeling they would be sympathetic… Kyleigh had been in a relationship with a man when she met Michelle. And they were far less likely than Rachel to assume they knew what was best for someone… chances were, they had no idea what she had done, because they would have told me.

"Hello?" It was Michelle, and she was breathless.

"Hi."

"Sara! Are you back in town today?"

"I am… Listen, are you two busy?"

She laughed. "No, we just got in the house… I had to run to get to the phone. Why, did you bring us amazing souvenirs?"

I frowned. "…Actually, I didn't. We… ended up leaving early. I've been back for a while…"

"Oh…" There was a sound and then I heard her turn from the phone, obviously speaking to my other friend. "It's Sara… wants to know if we're busy… No, no souvenirs… I don't know, but she seems upset…" She turned her mouth back to the phone. "Come on over, Sar'."

I parked in front of their home. "…I'm here."

"Oh. …Okay, well… we'll see you in a second then." She hung up, and their front door swung open as I stepped out of my car. Kyleigh peeked her head out—she had long blonde hair and bright blue eyes, the exact opposite of Michelle, who had been born in Puerto Rico… she had dark hair, dark eyes, darker skin. Both were strikingly beautiful, though.

Kyleigh spoke as I walked up to her. "…I think I can see a little baby bump, Sar'…"

I smiled, despite myself, protective hands moving to my stomach. "…There's a little one."

Michelle stuck her head out too. "Don't let her get started… she thinks we need a baby, now, despite the fact that we both just started new jobs…" They each hugged me in turn. "So… you going to tell us what's up?"

I sighed. "It's… a really, really long story…"

Kyleigh slid an arm around my shoulder, guiding me into their home with a wink. "Is there any other kind?"

I rolled my eyes, hoping they were ready… if they didn't condemn me for falling for Gil while married to Jace, they would need to understand my childhood to understand the position I was in… "…It wouldn't hurt if you guys got yourselves a drink, first…" I said, thinking that this could only help.

Their laughter surrounded me, and for the first time since Gil let me go and I slid into that taxi, I felt somewhat human again. I had a feeling—I would get to talk to him tonight.