Disclaimer: I don't own.

A/N: A glance back at the previous chapter made me realize that while I tried to underline all the lines of Jace's letter that were supposed to be crossed out, I failed. So if it seemed like a thought was started and never finished, that was probably why. I'll go back and fix it tomorrow... too tired tonight. :) Sooo, I'm off to bed.

Thanks for the reviews, as always, they mean the world to me! Enjoy!

Chapter Eighty Four:

Not knowing where Sara had gone or when she would be back, I took a moment to consider my options, and decided that Ayla and I would eat. If she wasn't back by the time we finished, I would call her. …I wasn't mad, per se, just absolutely bewildered. I knew that she was dealing with a lot and that she might need some space to deal with it, but I didn't know what to do in the meantime… what my role was, here.

I moved the highchair into the dining room, next to my seat, and buckled her into it. I found a bib and sat beside her, dishing up our meals simultaneously—sweet and sour chicken, sans the sweet and sour we'd had to throw, that I cut up small for her, rice (she got white, I took the fried), and lots of vegetables. I briefly considered the Lo Mein noodles and then gave her a few to taste, hoping that that would be alright. She ate everything like she was starving and I realized with some surprise that she hadn't had lunch—instead of her usual two naps, today she had slept straight through the afternoon.

I eyed her more closely, hoping she was just catching up on sleep or going through a growth spurt or… anything to indicate that she was not sleeping as a reaction to grief the way I knew Sara probably was, but she just smiled at me, her curls still wet about her head. I picked at my food, giving Ayla seconds when she cleared the tray. I cleaned her up and pulled her, only clad in a diaper, into my arms, finally making the decision that I would have to go into her room for clothes. We changed into pajamas, read a bedtime story, and though I didn't have the ability to give her a bottle—I found no milk in the freezer—she didn't seem like she needed it. She closed her heavy eyes and slipped easily to sleep. I wondered if Sara had been weaning her…

I put the girl in the middle of Jace's bed, as it was the largest, and put a pillow on either side of her, hoping this would prevent a fall. I didn't like the idea of letting her sleep in the crib from which she'd been taken. I turned off the lights and moved out, cleaning up from our supper and moving the takeout cartons into the fridge uncertainly, wondering what could possibly be keeping Sara so long. I mean, considering traffic, it wasn't like she'd been gone an unreasonable length of time… but it was longer than I liked, and it had me trying to imagine what on earth she could have found in Jace's room to send her running like that.

I finally seated myself on the couch and had no sooner picked up the remote than the sound of a car door reached my ears from the driveway. I felt a tightening in my chest and drew a deep breath, uncertain and feeling almost frightened. Sara had been on a rollercoaster of emotions in the last few days and I didn't like not knowing what to expect when she came in. The front door opened and closed and I listened, willing my heart to slow and my breathing to steady so I could listen.

Keys to table. Something else to table. Shoes being sloughed off. A gentle sigh. Bare feet on carpet, moving closer.

I glanced up in time to see her enter the room. Our eyes met, and I knew in the moment that something fundamental had changed—her eyes told me that much. The Sara walking towards me now was not the Sara who had rushed out that front door earlier today, but I wasn't sure if I knew who she was now either. I dug my fingers into the fabric of the couch beneath me, bracing myself, unconsciously holding my breath as she got closer and closer, waiting.

I expected her to stop and stand in front of me… take the seat beside me… something in which she had to stop moving. But she didn't—she didn't stop and before I realized what she was doing she had placed a knee on one side of my lap and was sliding up to straddle my thighs. I looked at her in surprise and alarm, our eyes locking in intensity for one immeasurable moment before she had dipped her head and caught my lips in what was simultaneously the most gentle and yet most powerful kiss we had ever shared. It sent chills through me and yet heated me from my core out. My trembling hands stilled on her hips, finding reassurance there even as my heart fluttered in disbelief.

She pulled back, exhaling her words in a rush. "I'm sorry… I haven't been… I wasn't… I felt…" She stopped, a pucker in her lips very like Ayla's telling me that she wasn't certain how to finish her own sentence, but the sincerity was clear. I smiled softly, letting my hand slide up her spine slowly, fingers curling into the hair at the nape of her neck when I reached it, gently bending her into another kiss. This one was gentle too, but it wasn't a kiss for sitting still… a kiss of a moment. No, it was a building kiss… it was going somewhere and the heat in my spine told me exactly where.

I tried to reign myself in, pull back from her, be the voice of reason—after all, she had been rather erratic lately… How could I be certain that she wouldn't change her mind again?—but she tugged me closer, held me tighter, delved in deeper… and none of her movements implied that she needed to lose herself in someone's arms. …They implied that she felt she had been away from mine too long. It was a feeling I understood all too well and I let myself get wrapped up in it.

I breathed in her scent, warm and sweet and a little sad but overwhelmingly like home, opened my eyes in the kiss to take in the sight of her fluttering lashes, delighted in the feel of my fingers in her hair and my broad hand slipping under her t-shirt to press against the small of her back, delighting in the dip in her spine immediately before the rise of her tailbone. I rubbed it softly, enjoying the light shudder of her body against me and the goose bumps breaking out beneath my fingertips. I pulled back, a little desperately, finding myself out of breath.

"…I love you. Sara, I'm sorry about... I called and… I thought… but I was wrong and I… I love you so much, sweetheart."

The words had tumbled out of their own accord and the tears shining in her eyes made me wonder if I had misspoken and ruined this… but she sniffled and nodded. "I know, baby. I love you too. …I was never unfaithful to you… never…"

When we met to kiss again there was fire in it and I found myself clutching her to me, needing to feel every inch of her… needing to rediscover her and know that she was really mine… really wanted me. Without even thinking about it, I was tugging her shirt off her small frame and laying kisses across the expanse of skin I found there… shoulders and collar bone, breasts and the valley between them, bare arms and wrists and fingertips and the gentle slope of her stomach and the dip of her bellybutton.

She shivered beneath me, her fingers winding into my hair and running over my chest and shoulders, clutching, caressing, squeezing, her eyes closed and her lips parted. Abruptly she stood, pulling herself out from under my lips, and I felt a familiar flash of fear—until she extended her hand, her eyes warm. I took it and stood, letting her lead me back towards the bedrooms.

"Ayla?" She asked me, pressed close against my side, our movements slow and relaxed and unrushed.

"Jace's room." I replied, letting my fingertips slide over her arms and shoulders, having missed every perfect inch of her skin and unwilling to give up the opportunity to explore it in depth. She smiled and pulled me into her room, closing the door softly behind us.

We met in another kiss and moved fluidly towards her bed, the bed I'd made love to her in before she'd run away crying. …I hoped very much that this time would be different. It felt different. And when her legs hit the mattress and she let her knees bend, taking her down to lay on the bed beneath me, her eyes told me it was. I kissed her slowly as we scooted up until her head was cradled in the pillows. Her small hands slid across my stomach and up my chest, pulling me closer, her legs parting around me in what could only be described as the most perfectly natural position in the world. I moaned softly, biting her bottom lip, and the soft gasp that slipped from her sent chills through me.

I took my time, slowly removing each piece of clothing and worshipping the skin I found beneath it, wanting this reunion to be absolutely perfect—but she tugged me up when I attempted to bury my head between her long, glorious legs, and shook her head lightly, arching her hips to bring her hot, wet center up to me. I trembled at the contact and she smiled softly, shifting until the head of my penis was pressed snugly up against her and I was panting with the restraint it required not to push roughly into her. We kept our eyes locked together and I don't know that either of us was more responsible for initiating our union than the other—It seemed like we simply slid together without any effort on our parts, our bodies gravitating simply until they were exactly where they were supposed to be.

It was sensual and slow, deep and intense, and when we came together it was with as much heat and pleasure and relief as the last time… and yet there was so much more, because we were both making love to each other this time. There was no battle… no tears to follow the climax. We curled around each other with me still inside her and simply held each other, exchanging soft kisses, as our breathing slowed and our bodies relaxed and our eyelids drooped. Eventually we shifted onto our sides and I slid for her warm body, feeling the loss the moment we were separated… and sleepily she suggested that we move to sleep with Ayla.

With shaking knees and sappy, giddy smiles on tired faces, we moved as one, arms wrapped around each other's naked bodies, into the bedroom and onto the bed, on either side of her. We couldn't sleep as close with her between us, but that didn't seem to matter… We drifted to sleep together, finally knowing a contentment and a security that had eluded us in our relationship for as long as we'd been together.