"What are you three conspiring about?" Alexandre stage whispered over my shoulder and I jumped in alarm. He smiled at me in apology when I spun around to face him. "Sorry."
"Conspiracies," I said stiffly as the Doctor dropped a steadying hand to my shoulder. Alexandre raised his eyebrows up in surprised delight and I suddenly realized that maybe keeping my mouth shut would have been better.
"What kind of conspiracies?" He asked and Lillian shot me a look like she couldn't believe that I'd let myself get so startled, but she knew that sometimes I absolutely sucked at lying on the fly. The Doctor dug into his pocket and withdrew his psychic paper again and held it out to Alexandre.
"We're secret police acting on a tip that there are multiple plots against the King's life that we believe are going to be enacted today," the Doctor said.
"And what makes you think that I am not one of the people plotting against the King?" Alexandre asked with an intrigued look. Lillian made a face like she'd been expecting this while the Doctor simply smiled.
"You would never do something so obvious," the Doctor said which I thought was a pretty bold statement considering we had just met him, though Alexandre must have agreed because he threw his head back and laughed.
"How have you managed to discern my character within the moments of our first meeting?" He asked between chuckles.
"Oh, he's had lots of practice," I said and shot the Doctor a teasing look.
"What do you need with me?" Alexandre asked.
"Above all else except saving the King's life we must make sure that little attention is given to those who are plotting these attempts. Can you assist us in this?" Alexandre seemed to think it over before he nodded.
"Yes, I believe I can," he said, and the Doctor nodded.
"Good. We'll start with the crossbow." Before we could move though the Doctor caught me by the elbow and pulled me away from Alexandre and Lillian slightly. I looked up at him in confusion, but he cut off my un voiced questions as he pulled the taser that Ianto had given me out of his pocket and held it out to me. "Take this. Do you have your phone with you?"
"I do. Trusting me with this are you?" I asked teasingly as I took the taser from him and put it in my pocket. He'd confiscated it from my possession after the thing with the Master because he had expressed concern about my previous choices regarding its use. I looked back up at the Doctor and he scooped me up in his arms to hug me tightly and press his forehead to mine. For the first time in a long time, I had absolutely no idea what the expression on the Doctor's face meant, beyond that he was very serious. I smiled up at him softly and cupped his face in my hands and pulled his face down slightly so that I could press my lips to his forehead.
"What was that for?" He asked with a confused laugh as a smile split his face once I released him and I grinned up at him.
"Luck," I said, and he gave me a goofy grin before it fell off his face as he stood upright and adjusted his tie.
"Let's go save the King," he said, and we all set off down the street. I wasn't quite sure what we were planning on doing, especially since the Doctor had given me my taser back and I was not ready to attempt to explain it to Alexandre, but he was clearly expecting me to use it. Lillian raised her eyebrows up at it and looked between the two of us and I drew a silencing motion across my neck.
"Oh my god you still haven't told him!?" Lillian hissed under her breath and I shrugged awkwardly so that the Doctor wouldn't catch on to our conversation.
"How do you tell someone you tased them so that they wouldn't regenerate so that they wouldn't inadvertently kill you?" I shot back and she grumbled something under her breath.
"What about the part where you did it on purpose because you died in another universe?" She asked and I shot her a look. I'd told her pretty much the instant I'd gotten back to the TARDIS from the party where I met the Face of Boe to talk to someone about it and make sure I was making the right decision. She'd agreed, but she had not been happy about it and had made me promise not to die.
"Oh yeah no that comes up in casual conversation all the time," I muttered a little louder than I meant to and caught the Doctor's attention.
"What are you two talking about?" Lillian gave me a look that clearly meant she was going to follow my lead.
"Lillian can't commit to asking someone to step out with her," I said, ignoring the guilt that settled in my stomach. The Doctor hummed idly.
"Life's too short. That's my advice to you Lillian," he said, and Lillian smiled just as he held up a hand. "Oh, this is interesting."
"An alleyway?" I asked and then pivoted and realized that the King was going to be passing this and it would be a good place to set up a shot at him. "No wait never mind I figured it out."
"And how do we find out who is making this plot?" Alexandre asked. Lillian crossed her arms like she did whenever she was thinking.
"Well we could ask the shifty guy with the crossbow slung across his back," she said, and I nodded sagely.
"It might be a good place to start," I said, and the Doctor groaned as he rubbed a hand over his face.
"I didn't consider that both of you would be sarcastic," he said. Lillian and I laughed at the same time.
"Learned it from Dad," we chorused, and he looked at us through his fingers in exasperation before apparently giving us up as a lost cause because he headed towards the man with the crossbow.
"That is the plan?" Alexandre asked with a hand to my arm to stop me from stepping fully past him.
"Yes?" I answered. "I can't really think of a better one. Besides it appears to be working." He turned around to see the Doctor shaking the man's hand before they both went their separate ways. I smiled up at him as he jogged back up to us.
"The wild fluctuations of your people skills never ceases to fascinate me," I said. He twisted his lips at me.
"You're not funny," he said but his smile was giving him away.
"Please I'm hilarious. What's next?" I asked. He gestured down the street with a disgruntled look on his face. "Oooh that's your gun face. It has to be a gun this time."
"I hate that you can read me so easily," he muttered as we headed down the street.
"No, you don't," Lillian said. We swung into the next alleyway and Alexandre blinked at us.
"How do you know what will be happening?" He asked.
"Intuition," I said after everyone paused for a few moments.
"Very strange intuition," he said, and I nodded as I studied everyone who was crowded in the alley, probably waiting for the King to go past.
"The Doctor is a strange man." I squeezed past the Doctor and walked up to the young woman and tapped her on the shoulder gently. "Would you mind giving me your weapon?"
"Thank you," the girl said as she shoved a small pistol in my hand before she ran the other direction. I turned and headed back to everyone and held it out to the Doctor.
"How did you know?" Alexandre asked. I shrugged as the Doctor took the gun from me and threw it in a nearby sewer.
"She was shaking like a leaf. Poor girl was probably terrified," I said.
"You are all very interesting people," Alexandre said. Lillian laughed.
"Oh, you really have no idea." She looked up at the Doctor with a questioning look. "Are we just going to keep going down the street?"
"So far," he said and then went racing away from us. Lillian made a noise before she turned to me.
"You remember how you were talking the other day about how your jeans don't fit the way they used to?" She asked and I nodded slowly because I remembered that conversation, but I had no idea where she was going with this. She jerked her head at the Doctor.
"I don't follow you. Oh." I paused as the realization hit me as I watched the Doctor furiously wave at us to catch up to him from a few feet away. "Oh, I'm so dumb."
"Hey, you're probably the most in shape you've ever been if that's any consolation," Lillian said as we hurried to catch up to the Doctor.
"My cardio is fantastic," I mused idly. The Doctor shot me a wild look of confusion.
"What on Earth are you talking about?" He asked with an overly exaggerated arm wave.
"I'll tell you later. What's next?" I replied. He waved down the street.
"This way." We bounced down the street for a while, to the point where I lost track of time and exactly how many different weapons we had seen in that span of time.
"Poison? Really?" The Doctor said incredulously several would be assassins later. The assassin in question was cowering with a concerned look on his face as the Doctor waved the vial of poison around as he ranted about how it was arguably the least effective method possible.
"Doctor I think you're frightening the poor man," Alexandre said. Lillian eyed the vial carefully.
"You're frightening me," Lillian said, and I reached up to pluck the vial out of his hand.
"Yes, he had a terrible plan, but I would argue you waving this around is equally as terrible. Besides we have places to be." The Doctor sighed melodramatically at my words before he nodded in agreement and turned his full attention back to the man.
"Behave yourself from now on." The man nodded meekly and crept away from us. I lifted the vial and gave it a little shake to slosh the liquid around.
"How are we planning on disposing of this? And no, you can't just slip it in your pocket," I said, and the Doctor frowned. I waited for a few seconds until I realized that the wheels in his brain were just spinning uselessly. Alexandre must have noticed the same because he snatched the vial from me and jogged towards a planter that was sitting outside a café and dumped the contents of the vial into the soil.
"Good idea," I said after he had come back then I spotted another solider over his shoulder who was walking towards us with a great deal of purpose and I winced. "That might complicate things."
"Monsieur Dumas, His Majesty requests the presence of yourself and the Lady Lillian," the solider announced once he was within talking distance and had flashed us a firm salute. Alexandre gave him a bow as he nodded.
"Of course." Alexandre turned with his elbow extended towards Lillian, who flashed me a look like she wasn't sure if she should go with him or not. I shrugged.
"You can't exactly say no to the King of France," I said.
"What do I talk about?" She asked. I racked my brain quickly.
"Inquire about his relations with Russia." I was pretty sure that the two countries had very good relations at this time, and if not, well maybe that was the nudge to get them there.
"You're very brilliant," the Doctor murmured into my temple as he pressed a kiss there as I blew a good luck kiss to Lillian.
"Where to next?" I asked.
"I'm not sure. There seem to be two possibilities," he said and looked down at me and shook his head before I could talk. "Under no circumstances are we splitting up."
"Do you have another, better suggestion?" I asked and he paused for a few moments to think about it before his face dropped into a frown. I tried to not let my self-satisfied smile show too much but I must have failed judging by the look on his face.
"Don't say anything," he said as he shoved his hand into his pocket. I placed my hand over my heart in mock offense.
"Me? Say anything?" I asked. He shook his head at me with an amused smile on his face as he pulled out his phone and pressed a few buttons. I fished my phone out and answered it.
"If you hang up on me, I will assume the worst and come save you." I nodded in understanding. "Your destination is three and a half blocks away on the left side of the street."
"Understood sir," I said and flashed him the best salute I could manage.
"Sometimes I sincerely can't decide if you infuriate me or amuse me," he said teasingly, and I laughed.
"Why not both?" I asked with a wink. He rolled his eyes at me before he waved me off with a waggle of his fingers. I lifted my phone up to my ear and hummed idly as I walked because I couldn't think of anything to say off the top of my head.
"I found a mechanical contraption," the Doctor announced a few minutes later.
"Very specific," I said.
"Well I don't really know what it does." I heard a couple of metallic clangs before he cooed in delight. "A catapult. Very fascinating."
"Well I've arrived on my street corner and I don't see anything so you must be at the right one," I said before I decided that doing a proper scan of everything around me was probably a good idea. "Wait never mind."
"What did you find?" He asked.
"An unlabeled box. Hey maybe it's a rudimentary bomb!" I said with faux glee as I knelt down next to it.
"Don't even joke Emma."