The New Life
a novel by Mark Robert Whitten
Chapter 23
That evening, as Jess lay awake, thinking about all he had learned, he found he could not sleep. His thoughts drifted to the kiss he had given Leslie and the reaction from his best friend. It was not a romantic kiss—not at all. It was a gesture of friendship, the kind your mother gave you when you were little and had to spend the day away from her. He knew Leslie needed it and he wasn't shy about providing whatever she needed. He thought maybe he should tell someone, but decided against it.
The Duke might have a fit and Leslie would certainly be embarrassed for everyone to learn of their indiscretion. He sighed. He supposed he should tell someone.
His eyes roamed his dark room, finally settling on the polished oak desk. He often sat at the desk for writing his letters. Since coming to live at the castle, Jess had learned so much about writing and he used it by writing a letter each week, telling his family about his new experiences with Leslie. He wondered if he should include something about the kiss.
No. He didn't think Ellie and Brenda needed any more arrows to shoot at them and that would be a big one. Besides, he was just lending comfort to a friend when needed. Jess knew they would hurt him for it. Nothing good would come of his telling them anything.
He wondered about the trip Leslie had mentioned. She had said he needed to agree to it before she would tell him about it. He wondered what she had in store for him. A knock at the door caught his attention. It was a soft sound, very discreet. Jess didn't think it was so late, but after a moment, he slipped out of bed and moved to the door as it creaked open letting in a shaft of candlelight.
Leslie waited for him.
"Ready to go?"
He looked at her clothes. Instead of her usual blue dress, she wore brown wool pants and high leather boots. As he took in the red shirt and dark coat she sported, Jess wondered briefly if she wasn't really running away again. He decided he would be there to make sure she didn't and as soon as he was dressed, he followed her through the empty halls. The castle seemed so quiet after dark, so spooky. He knew everyone except the night guards were asleep and Leslie pulled him back more than once as she ducked into a corner to avoid detection. As his heart pounded, he tried not to cry out. The soldiers marched past on their nightly patrol as Leslie held her hand over his mouth, her bluish-green eyes telling him without words not to breathe. He thought they would be caught for sure but he reminded himself that Leslie had escaped the castle before and that she must be good at it to even be attempting to do so again.
As they made their way towards the final hall that led to the courtyard, she looked back at him. She wore that mischievous grin, the one that got them both into trouble back on the farm and usually ended with both of them receiving whippings. He felt his stomach lurch as she crossed a finger over her lips and winked.
He was sure they'd both be whipped before dawn.
As they made their way through the castle, Jess eyed Leslie's boots. They were tooled-leather with hard soles and he couldn't help but wonder at how she could walk the halls without them making more than a hushed whisper. His own boots had clacked loudly against the hard polished wood of the floor no matter how carefully he stepped and he was certain they would get them caught. Carpets spaced periodically throughout the castle provided brief periods of respite but his breath quickened every time he heard whispered words of guards drifting to him from the nearby halls. Finally, after a series of near misses that had his heart galloping almost out of control, they reached the final door.
Leslie cracked it open and peered out into the dark night. She looked back at him and smiled. "Are you ready for an adventure?"
Jess nodded, unable to speak. Leslie grabbed his wrist and slipped out the door, pulling him close behind. The door shut behind them without a sound, blocking out the last of the hall light and casting them both into darkness. Jess took a deep breath of the cool night air, relieved to be away from the halls and terrified that they were so much closer to their destination. As they made their way across the lawn, Jess realized he could barely make out the shape of a figure near the stables. The dark form held a lantern at its side and Jess thought he could see shining metal reflecting the dim glow of the light.
The figure seemed to be waiting for them.
When they neared, Jess pulled Leslie back a bit and inched forward, squinting against the now harsh glow of the lamp. His eyes stung from the shift in light as he got closer. He couldn't tell who it was that greeted them. To his surprise, Leslie stepped forward and clasped hands with the man, unafraid. Jess whispered for her to get back but as his eyes adjusted to the light, he realized the figure was Tom.
His grin was reassuring and frightening at the same time. "You two ready?"
Leslie nodded eagerly, but Jess held back. "What are we doing here?" He looked around, certain the light from the lamp would give them away.
Tom frowned at Leslie. "You didn't tell him?"
As she glanced sheepishly toward him, Jess looked from Leslie, back to Tom. "Tell me what?" He gripped Leslie's arm. "What's going on?"
Leslie winced just a little as she turned to him. "Jess," she began, "We're leaving the castle tonight but to do it, we're going to fly."
He wasn't sure he heard her right. How could they fly? There was no way. None. He wasn't sure he wanted to know what trick Leslie had found that could allow it but as he glanced past Tom, he saw the answer step forward.
Tom's winged horse stepped out of the stables, nuzzling him. Tom patted her muzzle and scratched behind her ears. The mare nickered and Jess laughed. He felt instantly excited and terrified.
"So this is where you two were going."
The sound of the voice made Jess jump. Everyone turned to see a dark form slipping close to them. Jess thought he knew the soft sounds but as the figure drew near, Jess felt his heart race. He reached out for Leslie to move back. She slipped back near Tom and when Jess saw that she was safe with him, he turned to see the figure lift a hand.
Lavender light ignited above her palm. Jess sagged in relief at the sight of the soft features suddenly illuminated by the purple glow.
Miss Edmunds smiled down at him.
"Miss Edmunds," he whispered, clutching his chest, "What are you doing here?"
"I could ask you the same thing." Her voice was not accusatory. If anything, she seemed amused. "Tom, what are you doing with Nova?"
"I just wanted to take them for a midnight ride, that's all."
Miss Edmunds stepped close, raising the flame of lavender light to look him in the eyes. She gestured to Leslie. "You know Leslie isn't supposed to leave the castle." She placed a slender hand on Jess shoulder. "You could get Jess in trouble for not protecting her."
Jess swallowed. The sight of her was wondrous. She wasn't wearing one of her dresses, instead sporting a pair of red pants that hugged tight to her form. The shape of her made his heart flutter. He loved the feeling of Julia's hand on him, but he was terrified he'd say something stupid. He wanted her to stay by his side, maybe even talk Leslie out of this little flying trip. The way she was smiling, though, made his hope for that outcome evaporate.
She sighed, shaking her head. "Tom, you are incorrigible."
He grinned at that. "So you're not coming?"
"Of course I am."
Jess heart leapt. The thought of gliding through the night with Julia on a magical winged horse was almost enough to make him faint. He wanted to mount the steed, extend his hand for his love and take off into the sky. He almost wished Leslie and Tom weren't there.
As if hearing his thoughts, Leslie came forward. "You won't tell my parents?" Her face glowed lavender in the light, a pleading visage Jess would have found quite amusing, if not for the current circumstances.
Miss Edmunds shrugged at Leslie's plea. "Tell them about what?"
Jess smiled. He liked the way Miss Edmunds spoke, so clear and to the point. She wouldn't tell, he knew. It would be a good night. Nova stamped her hoof, impatient to be off. Tom scratched her ears and led her out into the courtyard. They decided to take turns, since Nova couldn't carry all four of them at once. Leslie volunteered to go first and Tom agreed to take her up. As he lifted her into the saddle, he tied a rope securely about her, attaching the other end to his waist. It wouldn't do to drop her from up high.
As Tom mounted Nova and tossed Miss Edmunds a wink, he took up the reins and pressed his heels into the mare's sides, sending her running across the courtyard. Her white-feathered wings outspread, they swept down in great beats that lifted her into the air.
As Jess watched them soar over the outer walls, he heard Leslie squeal with delight.
Then he was alone with Julia.
Against her better judgment, Leslie let out a furious scream.
She couldn't help it. The exhilaration of soaring through the air, above the clouds and over the treetops was more than she could contain. All the pent up frustrations of her life, the unwanted marriage and lack of control over her own destiny all burst forth in that exquisite moment of unbridled ecstasy. The arms of the man she loved wrapped around her, the wind whipping at her face, stinging her eyes and buffeting her ears, she threw her head back and laughed. The feeling of flying had always thrilled her made her feel as if anything were possible.
It occurred to her that her time with Jess was somewhat similar.
As Tom held tight to the reins, taking them into a nose dive toward the lake, Leslie allowed her arms to stretch up towards the heavens. They descended rapidly towards the dark water. The moonlight glinted off its surface, winking to them with promise but the horse pulled up just before impact and Leslie found herself skimming over the churning surface at incredible speed. She knew no ordinary horse could move so quickly. Flying always freed one from the force of gravity and thus most of the restrictions that slowed other horses did not apply. The wind worked with them, keeping Nova aloft as her hooves splashed against the lapping waters spraying them with cold mist.
Her clothes were soaked and damp but they would be dried once they flew through the night sky, letting the updrafts buffet her awhile. Despite his sitting directly behind her, Leslie could barely hear Tom's shout above the sound of the wind and water. It sounded as if he were suggesting they return to give Jess a turn. Leslie shook her head in response.
She wasn't quite ready to surrender her turn yet. She was also quite sure that Jess wanted a few more minutes to be alone with Miss Edmunds.
"So, ah, do you think they'll be safe up there?"
He hadn't known what else to say. He wished he could have come up with something more important, more meaningful to say, but as they sat in the stables, he just couldn't make his mind work properly. Julia turned to look down at him and smiled. "Of course, Jess. Leslie's been taking these little trips for years."
Jess nodded. He wanted to ask her about her life, about her magic but sitting there, talking quietly as they waited for their turn, he found that he couldn't bring himself to say much. He stood and removed his coat. The summer night was hot and he really didn't need his coat until they were in the air. Quiet as he could, he slipped back onto the hay bale beside Julia. While he wondered how long Leslie would be, he stole glances at her.
The lantern she kept close by illuminated her in a flattering way, giving her angular features a sharp look and making her raven hair shine. She looked so soft, so gentle.
He wanted so much to kiss her.
When she glanced down at him, he quickly looked away.
"Jess," she whispered. He flinched when she spoke his name. He didn't meet her gaze. "You like her, don't you?"
Jess frowned up into Julia's beautiful face. "Who?"
"Don't be shy." She nudged him with her shoulder. "You know who I mean." Her smile was wonderful. He didn't have a clue as to what she meant, but when he didn't answer, she pointed a thin finger to the sky. "Leslie."
Jess felt a flood of relief wash through him. Grateful for the deep shadows hiding his blush, he nodded. She grinned again. "She likes you, too, you know."
Jess returned the smile. "Really?" He brushed the hair back from his hot forehead. "I never knew."
When she nodded, he relaxed. He didn't tell her that he didn't think of Leslie that way and that he knew Leslie loved him like the brother she always wanted; he just let Julia continue talking about their relationship, about how he was the best friend she ever had and how happy she had become since he arrived in her life.
In his mind, Jess pretended she was talking about herself. He imagined she was confessing feelings of love for him when she told him how special he was and how kind he was to Leslie. He liked the way she smiled at him and he melted when she mentioned how handsome she thought he looked in his nice clothes. He was glad he wore his fancy black wool trousers and matching vest. The way it looked with his red shirt made him look dashing.
As Julia spoke, he let the sound of her soft, lilting voice carry him deeper into her heart and as her bright blue eyes stared deeply into his soul, Jess noticed for the first time that they were the same wonderful almond shape as Leslie's. But while hers were blue with a hint of green, Julia's were pure pale blue without the taint of any other shade to dull their potency.
When she leaned close to whisper something to him, he did what he never thought he would have the courage to do: Grabbing her soft shoulders and pulling her close, Jess planted a kiss right on her warm, soft lips.
For a brief moment he was alive with the fulfillment of a dream. It was so much like what he had done with Leslie, but somehow, it was so much more. Where before he was comforting a friend, he was now indulging in something forbidden, something special, something he had dreamed of having for what seemed like forever.
The world fell away as every part of him screamed with the joy of a fantasy realized.
The dream broke as he fell back from her, shoved off the hay bale. He fell hard, landing on his backside with a grunt. Jess stared up in surprise. The spell was broken and as the world returned, he felt pain flood in where joy had stood.
Miss Edmunds was on her feet, her hands covering her mouth in horror. "Oh, Jess! I'm so sorry!" She reached down towards him. "Are you okay?"
Jess looked away from her proffered hands. He bit his lip, trying his hardest not to cry. What had he done? He had kissed Miss Edmunds! He never meant for it to happen, but with the beautiful moonlight and the soft glow of the nearby lantern and the sweet scent of lavender in the air, he just couldn't help himself. He turned away, shame-faced as she knelt down beside him. Her gentle hand found his shoulder. He wanted to shake it away. He wasn't worthy of her touch.
"I'm sorry," he whispered, surprised at the hoarseness of his own voice.
"Its okay, Jess… really." Her voice was so sweet, it made him ache. He wanted to die. "I just… I don't… well, I-I don't understand..."
Jess felt the first of many tears slip out between clenched eyes. "I just liked you so much… and I thought you liked me too…"
"I do," she said. "But Jess, I had no idea you felt this way about me. I would never have encouraged you—"
He waved her off and stood on shaky legs, trembling as he held back tears. "It wasn't your fault, Miss Edmunds. I-I presumed too much." His voice nearly broke. "I'll take my leave of you now, Miss Edmunds." He bowed deeply. "G-Goodnight."
Jess turned and stepped out of the stables, grateful for the darkness hiding his shame when a gust of wind blew his hair back as Nova swooped in to land nearby. Tom helped Leslie down and as she staggered about with a giddy grin on her face, Jess fought to control his crying. She spotted him and stumbled over, her cat's tail braid almost completely undone.
When she tried to speak, he pushed past her, heading for the castle.
Tom came forward. "All right, Jess, it's your turn." He reached out for him, but Jess pushed his hands away and ran for the castle door. He didn't look back as he heard Leslie calling out to him in confusion. Miss Edmunds' soft voice made him run even faster, as hot tears he could no longer contain streamed down his face.
He knew she was telling them what had happened.