The New Life
a novel by Mark Robert Whitten
Chapter 24
"Jess?"
He ignored the voice. It came again, muffled by the door.
"Jess, it's me. Leslie."
He stuffed his face into his feather pillow, willing her to leave. He tried not to make a sound, hoping that she would think him asleep. His hopes were destroyed at the sound of the door opening. He lay perfectly still, hoping she would leave. He heard her feet shuffling across the carpet and then felt her soft hand on his back. Her voice came gentle, full of understanding. "I heard what happened, Jess. I'm sorry."
Jess clutched his pillow and tried not to moan. He didn't want her to know he was in so much pain. If he just lay still, he hoped she would not press the issue. He felt the bed move and knew that she had sat on the edge. Jess couldn't resist and snuck a quick peek. She was looking at him with genuine sympathy.
"I'm really sorry, Jess."
Her voice was sweet, like Miss Edmunds. He wished he could forget her. But he couldn't. "Please," he whispered burying his face in the pillow once more. "Just go away."
"Why did you do it?" she asked. Her voice was no longer sweet. He felt the bed lift as she stood. "What were you thinking?"
He didn't know how to answer. He just lay there trying not to cry. Leslie sighed and he knew she was shaking her head. "It was really dumb, Jess. Really dumb."
That brought him up in a rush. "Don't you think I know that?" He felt his face burning as he glared at her. "All I can think about is how stupid I've been!" He sank back down to the bed. "She probably hates me now."
"She doesn't hate you, Jess. She's worried about you." Her hand rested on his shoulder. "We all are."
He stood wiping at the tears that wouldn't stay away. "Well, you won't have to worry anymore." He strode over to the end of the bed. As he knelt down before it, he told her what he had been planning since he made his mistake. "I'm leaving."
"You're what?"
"Leaving," he repeated. "I'm not going to stay here anymore."
"That's jut crazy," she said. "Where would you go?"
"Back to the farm," he answered without hesitation. "My family might welcome me home." He popped open his trunk and began pulling out clothes for his trip.
"Jess…" she spoke his name with an upward inflection. He knew she was displeased with him but he didn't blame her. He was supposed to be a gentleman. He was just a fool. He didn't acknowledge her, instead choosing a few good pants and shirts and a pair of boots he fancied. His work finished, he closed the trunk.
As he stood, he found Leslie staring at him. Ignoring her, he folded up his clothes and tucked them under an arm. Grabbing the pair of boots, he pushed past Leslie and headed for the door.
"So that's it," she called to his back. "You're just leaving."
He didn't look back as he grasped the door handle.
"I thought you were my friend," she said.
He froze. "What are you talking about? Of course I'm your friend."
"Well you're sure not acting like it."
"I don't understand…"
"Of course you don't." She grabbed his shoulder spinning him around. "You think you're the only one embarrassed by this? You think you're the only one who matters? You're selfish, Jess. You're running away because you can't stand to stay. You're running away from your responsibilities to this family, to your friends and to me."
Her words cut through him like a knife. He wanted to tell her that she was wrong, that she didn't understand, but he couldn't say anything. He couldn't even look away from her almond-shaped eyes. Tears welled in his eyes just as they glistened in hers. He dropped his bundled clothes to the floor, his face burning with shame. "I just don't know what to do."
She squeezed his shoulder. "We'll figure it out together."
As he slipped his arms around her she pulled him into a tight hug. They wept quietly against each other for a long time, neither willing to let go.
Jess found her in the courtyard. She was feeding birds with handfuls of seeds. The way they flocked around her made Jess think she was one of them. He wanted to talk to her but she didn't look like she was interested in visitors. Jess sighed. He had to get it over with sooner or later.
As he strode over to her she spotted him. Her face was unreadable. "Jess…"
"Miss Edmunds." He bowed. "M-may I sit?"
She gestured for him to take a seat beside her. He smiled but wiped it away quickly as he remembered what he was here to do. Sitting beside her, he took a handful of seeds she offered and tossed them across the grass. Many birds of varying colors fluttered down to feast. Jess didn't look to Miss Edmunds, instead focusing on counting all the red birds. As she laid a gentle hand on his shoulder, Jess felt his face heating. His breathing became labored and he feared he might cry. He almost swatted her hand away.
"Miss Edmunds," he blurted, "I'm sorry about kissing you, I just couldn't—"
She shushed him. "It's all right, Jess, I'm just glad you weren't hurt. I pushed you pretty hard." She wrapped her arm around his shoulders and pulled him tight against her. She felt so warm and smelled so good. As he laid his head against her soft shoulder, and wrapped his arms around her waist, Jess looked up into her smiling face and smiled back in spite of himself. As she hugged him, she patted his back. "I hope you don't hate me."
The thought horrified him. "Of course not, Miss Edmunds. I could never hate you." He almost added, "because I love you," but caught himself just in time. He allowed himself to say, "I think you're wonderful," and relaxed when she smiled.
"Thank you," she said. She looked out across the sunlit lawn, guiding his gaze to the servants trimming hedges and tending the gardens. Children his age flew past, playing a game of you-can't-catch-me as they raced through the early morning light. No one paid the two of them any heed, though Jess fully expected them to point and laugh at the pair.
Jess sighed completely contented that he could be there beside Miss Edmunds without crying or being called names. He breathed deep her lavender scent as she stroked his hair. "I really like you, Jess. I think you're someone special, like Leslie."
He glanced up at her beautiful black hair, her fair face and those beautiful azure eyes. He wanted to ask her for another kiss, but he knew better than to spoil the moment with such silly questions, instead settling for visions of the day they'd be married.
He blushed, wondering if Julia could read his thoughts.
Her voice came soft and sweet. "It must have been hard for you, kissing someone and not having your feelings returned." He nodded against her. "Jess, would it help if I told you about the first time I kissed someone?"
He looked up at her, at her pale blue eyes, unsure about what to say. He didn't want to offend her and the look she gave him made Jess think it must be something very important she wanted to share, so he nodded.
Julia sighed and leaned back against the bench. "It happened when I was about your age. I really liked a boy and I knew he liked me. I wanted to try to kiss him but I was always too nervous. My sister told me that I should just swallow my fear and try, so one day, while we were sitting by a duck pond, I leaned over and planted a kiss right on his face."
Jess hung his head in shame. It sounded so much like what he had done to her. He felt his face flaring hot and kept his head low as he asked, "Did he ever speak to you again?"
"Not for a while. You see, Jess, the day I kissed that boy was the day I first discovered I had magic."
His head came up at hearing that. "What do you mean?"
Julia's fair face turned a shade of scarlet and she looked away a moment before answering. "When I kissed him, I… accidentally… turned him into a frog."
Jess barked a laugh and her red face turned into a hot glare. "It's not funny, Jess." He swallowed back his next laugh before it could escape as she calmed her voice and continued. "I was terrified—I didn't know what to do. I was only a little girl and the first boy I'd ever kissed had just turned into frog. I thought I'd never be able to change him back." She brushed back some raven hair and continued. "We—I—ran home to my parents and told them everything. My father fetched the local sorceress and we spent most of the day searching the pond for the talking frog."
"Whoa."
She nodded. "'Whoa' is right. My father whipped me good for that one."
"For turning the boy into a frog?"
She winked. "No, for kissing him in the first place."
Jess laughed and this time Julia joined him. It seemed everything was turning out okay. "So, did you turn him back into a boy?"
"Yes—well, the sorceress did. The boy avoided me like death for a long time after that, and later, when I grew into a woman, I found my magic was something I could use on purpose, to help people."
Jess felt his stomach sink. "Bet the boy hated you..."
She shook her head. "He was just as scared by what happened as was I." She smiled in a funny way. "We talked after a while and stayed friends."
"What happened to the boy?"
"Why don't you ask him yourself, Jess?" She pointed. "He's right over there."
Jess' gaze followed her to the stables, to where Tom was working.
His jaw dropped. As if hearing them, he looked up from his work at grooming Nova. He waved to them and Jess forced himself to wave back. He understood now; Tom was in love with Miss Edmunds but she also loved him back. Jess stole a quick glance at her as she waved to him. Her smile showed him the truth. There was a joy etched on her face like none Jess had ever seen.
"I can't believe you turned him into a frog."
"Everyone makes mistakes, Jess—even people with magic."
He spoke without thinking. "That was a pretty stupid mistake." When he realized what he said, he felt his face go red. "Oh, Miss Edmunds, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say that."
She patted his back. "It's all right Jess; it was a stupid mistake." She stared into the distance, like she was looking into her own memories and smiled. "In a very long line of stupid mistakes."
He frowned, wondering at what she said. "What other mistakes did you make?"
His question brought her back to the present. "Nevermind." Her face glowed red. Jess guessed he shouldn't have asked. "Why don't you go play," she offered. "It's a nice day and you should go find something fun to do."
As he stood, he felt a sweet relief pass through him.
The feelings he had for Miss Edmunds were genuine, but they could never be together. He knew that now. He laughed at himself for his foolishness and bowed, thanking Miss Edmunds for the talk.
He was just about to leave when Miss Edmunds called him back.
"What is it, Miss Edmunds?"
"Well, I was just wondering something." She wore a strange smile as she stood. Jess felt a strange calm descend upon him as she looked down at him with those wonderful sky-blue eyes. "Jess, if you could be an animal, what would you be?"
He blinked. "What? An animal?" the question stymied him. "Well, I don't know. I guess I'd be a dog or a fish or something."
He wanted to ask what she meant by that when she asked something else.
"Do you know where Leslie is today?"
He shrugged. "Probably reading or cooking something." It was one of their days off, days to do whatever they wanted without classes and learning. Most children played games or trained with weapons but Leslie liked to read when she wasn't required. Jess understood her desire but he preferred things that didn't require you to think too much.
"I-I could go fetch her for you," he offered. She laughed a little. He frowned. "Did-did I… say something funny, Miss Edmunds?"
She shook her head. "No, Jess. Please go and bring Leslie. Tell her I have something to share with you both." As she lowered herself to the bench, he took off toward the castle.
He ran through the halls at a brisk pace, asking the servants he passed if they had seen Leslie. Most hadn't but one pointed him in the direction of the kitchen, and when he arrived he found her stirring a pot of something.
He slipped up next to her.
"Smells good."
She jumped with a shriek. "Jess," she gasped, "you scared me half to death!"
"Sorry."
"What are you doing here?" She stood beside the pot and stirred in a few more things. There were many little bowls holding crushed things of various colors. As he watched, Leslie took up pinches of various spices and added them to the soup. The aromas were so wonderful, he almost forgot her question. "Ah, Miss Edmunds wants to see us right away."
Leslie gave him a worried look. "You didn't kiss her again, did you?"
Jess glowered. "No. She has something to share with us."
"Oh, okay." After wiping her hands on a sparkling clean white towel, she asked the cook to keep an eye on her soup and followed him out the door. Jess led her back to the courtyard and when he returned with Leslie in tow, he found Miss Edmunds where he had left her, still feeding birds as they descended for seeds.
When she saw them coming, she stood.
"So glad you could make it, Leslie."
Leslie wore a big grin. "I'm glad you offered, Miss Edmunds."
Jess looked between them, aware that he was not being told what they were there to be given. He expected nothing, but there was an odd feeling in his gut that told him to be ready. Miss Edmunds slipped close to them. "Are you ready, Leslie?"
"Um, no, Miss Edmunds. I mean, I am, but I think Jess should go first." She looked at him with a mischievous smirk. "He might be too scared to try it otherwise."
Miss Edmunds nodded. "So it shall be, Leslie."
Before he could ask what they were talking about, Julia touched his nose with the tip of her slender finger, sending a strange tingle through him. As he closed his eyes, Jess felt the warmth of her touch spread all the way down to his toes. He didn't understand why, but he suddenly felt something stirring inside him. He opened his eyes to ask her what she had done to make him feel so good. At the sight of her, he gasped aloud.
Miss. Edmunds was a giant.
As the tingling sensation flowed faster through his body, Jess watched her form growing and realized that he was slipping away from her. He looked to Leslie and found her to be sliding away as swiftly as Miss Edmunds.
Soon, they both towered over him.
"What… happened?" he asked, staring up at the two giants.
Leslie giggled. She spun to Miss Edmunds. "Maybe you better show him."
Miss Edmunds nodded and touched the tip of Leslie's nose in the same manner as she had his. Jess stood there watching helplessly as a strange lavender mist swirled about Leslie, seeping into her. She giggled as the mist shrank, bringing her down to his size. Jess felt his jaw hang agape as Leslie's fair skin and clothes sprouted brown fur.
"Leslie," he whispered in astonishment. "You're a squirrel!"
The squirrel Leslie had become looked at him and giggled. "Of course I am!"
Jess blinked at the sound of Leslie's voice coming from the squirrel. It was a wonder. "But I don't understand, Leslie. How can you talk?"
"For the same reason you can."
Jess didn't understand. He wanted to ask her what she was talking about. Leslie rolled her squirrel eyes and gestured for him to look down. He did and gaped at the sight.
Jess saw his hands were paws, and his arms were covered with brown fur. His eyes roamed over the expanse of a white, furry belly down to the powerful hind legs on which he stood. He looked back at Leslie, then down at himself again. He couldn't believe it.
He was a squirrel too.