Disclaimer: I own nothing Tolkien created.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Mirkwood's Plague II:

Aftermath

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Chapter 13 ~ Rocky Relationships

~*~

When Legolas woke again it was slowly. He thought he heard voices coming from the living room but he could neither distinguish who was talking nor what they were saying so he gave up and closed his heavy eyes again.

In fact, it was Elrond and Glorfindel speaking quietly in the lounge.

"At least he got a little sleep," the healer said in a low voice so as not to disturb the sleeping prince.

"It was a long night."

"I can imagine. As difficult as it may have been to watch it probably did him a lot of good to have a good cry on your shoulder. I would imagine after holding it together all day he needed the release." Glorfindel nodded, rubbing his tired eyes. He had watched Legolas sleep all through the night, only sleeping himself when the pale light of dawn lit the room. "I can look after him for a while if you want to get some sleep."

"I'm alright," Glorfindel assured, straightening up. "I suppose everyone's been asking for him this morning."

Elrond smiled in confirmation. "You don't have to worry about that, Gimli has launched an attack against anyone who dares attempt to disturb him, including a few high-ranking officials. He may start a war in the next few hours but Legolas will sleep soundly so long as he's outside the door."

"Glad to hear it. I honestly don't think he could handle being dragged into meetings right now."

"And he shouldn't have to. I'll try and keep them off his back for as long as possible. As long as you're alright here, that is."

"He's still pretty out of it. He was awake earlier but I don't think he was really with me. I thought it best just to let him sleep."

"I think that is all we can really do for now. We just need to give him time to sort himself out." Glorfindel nodded in agreement. "Well, I should get back before Gimli starts shedding Elven blood. I'll be around if you need me."

"Right."

"It's probably best not to leave him alone right now. Just in case…"

"Of course I won't leave him."

"Alright, I'll check in on him a little later. Maybe he'll be more receptive to visitors later when he's more alert." With that, Elrond left.

Glorfindel returned to the bedroom, closing the door behind him with a soft click. When he looked down at Legolas he was surprised to see a pair of sleepy sapphire eyes looking up at him in confusion.

"Hey, you're awake," the seneschal smiled, stating the obvious. "How do you feel?"

Legolas averted his eyes, past lying to his friend but still embarrassed about the night before. "Tired," he croaked. "Stupid."

Glorfindel sat down on the bed and smiled kindly. "Well, you have every right to be tired after everything you've been through these past few days. However, you have no need to feel stupid." Legolas still didn't meet his gaze though so Glorfindel decided to change the subject. "Do you want anything? Water, maybe?" Legolas nodded, realising he was actually very thirsty. Glorfindel reached for the glass on the nightstand as Legolas sat up, releasing himself from the thick blankets. Legolas took the water from Glorfindel and drank gratefully. "Are you hungry? Can I get you something to eat?" Glorfindel asked eagerly.

Legolas shook his head. "No, thank you. I'm not hungry," he answered quietly, as if raising his voice too much higher he would expend energy he simply didn't have.

"Legolas, you haven't eaten for days." Legolas' only answer was to shake his head again and Glorfindel wasn't keen to push him if he really didn't feel up to it. "Alright. Maybe you should try and rest some more then."

Looking down at himself, Legolas said, "Actually, I could really do with a bath and a change of clothes."

"That I can do," Glorfindel smiled. "Wait here." He got up and went into the bathroom, setting the bath running whilst Legolas lay back in bed, staring at the ceiling. Glorfindel entered the room a minute later. "Elrond was here just now."

"What did he want?" Legolas mumbled tiredly.

"Nothing in particular."

Legolas sat up in bed, watching the Elda rifling through his drawers. "Have people been asking for me?" he asked.

Glorfindel looked around at him, sympathy shining in his clear blue eyes. "You don't need to worry about them, mellon nin. There is nothing that requires your immediate attention. Whatever they want can wait a few days."

"I suppose I should check though. Just to be sure," Legolas said, tiredly pushing the covers back.

Glorfindel strode forwards, putting his hand on Legolas' chest to stop him standing. "No, you shouldn't. Everything's fine out there. Elrond would let you know if anything was seriously wrong. Besides, the others can handle things for a while. Elrond wants you to rest for a while before you plunge back into the chaos and I'm inclined to agree with him."

Legolas nodded, rubbing his eyes. "I am tired," he conceded shyly.

"Then you should rest. Everything else can wait."

Again, Legolas nodded even though his conscience battled against his tiredness. He didn't have time to dwell on it though as Glorfindel took his hand and pulled him up, briefly pulling him into a hug before leading him to the bathroom, where his bath was ready. He gratefully slipped out of his clothes and climbed into the bath, almost forgetting that Glorfindel was there. He sank down into the bath relishing the warm water swirling around his body.

Upon hearing Glorfindel walking from the room, Legolas opened his eyes and spoke. "You could join me."

Glorfindel stopped short, taking a moment before turning to face Legolas. He couldn't honestly say he wasn't tempted because he was. So very tempted. He knew that he couldn't in good conscience. The silence was obviously longer than Glorfindel had intended it to be because Legolas looked away from him, muttering, "I'm sorry."

"No, don't be," Glorfindel said, walking over to the bath so he could look into Legolas' eyes as he spoke. "I just don't want to…complicate things for you further right now. You've been through so much. I'm just not sure we should be…rushing into anything whilst you're still…" Glorfindel wondered as he stuttered when he had become so inarticulate around his former partner. "I don't want you to do something you'll regret later. I just don't want to hurt you again."

"What makes you think you'll hurt me? Do you have so little faith in us?" Legolas asked quietly, not daring to look up, scared of what he would see.

"I'm not saying that I don't want to…again because I do. I really do."

"Then what is stopping you?"

Glorfindel considered his words carefully before answering. "I don't think it's what you really want," he said truthfully.

The words hung in the air for a couple of minutes before Legolas found a way to reply. "How do you know what I want?" Glorfindel went to answer but Legolas had not finished, a slight hint of annoyance in his hoarse voice. "How can you tell me what I want when you haven't even seen me in over a year?"

"Legolas…"

"Just don't."

"Legolas, please, I'm not trying to hurt you but…"

Legolas looked firmly away from him. "Maybe you should just go," he said bluntly, trying to sound firm even though his voice trembled slightly. He didn't hear anyone leave so he shouted, "Go," as loud as he could given his depleted strength. And after a moment of tense silence, Legolas heard Glorfindel leave, closing the door with a soft click

For a moment Legolas merely sat tensely in the bath, half-fuming at Glorfindel's words but the other half wishing he would come back. When he didn't though, tears slipped down his face but he ignored them – it wasn't as if there was anyone to see his grief – and he occupied himself by cleaning himself up. Instead of putting on the nightclothes Glorfindel had laid out for him on the bed, Legolas pulled his formal robes from the closet and slipped into them. After casting a brief look at himself in the long mirror, Legolas strode from the room.

He got outside then realised he had no where to go. He considered going to the kitchens but although he hadn't eaten in days he wasn't at all hungry and didn't want to risk running into a lot of people. He couldn't go to see Aragorn as Arwen would undoubtedly be with him and he wasn't sure he could handle her mothering right then. He didn't know where any of his other visiting friends were and he had lost most of the people he cared about in the plague. For something to do he read a couple of the cards that had been left outside his door but they all just made him feel worse so he stopped, turning to walk away and running right into Gimli.

"Where are you going?" the Dwarf asked gruffly through his concern.

"For a walk," Legolas answered simply.

"I'll come with you."

"Gimli, please, I just want to be alone for a while. I just want to go for a walk on my own."

"But Elrond said…"

"Gimli, I want to visit my father's and brother's graves alone. Please respect that, my friend," Legolas said wearily.

Gimli looked mortified at the suggestion that he would keep Legolas from doing something so private and important and he cleared his throat nervously. "Right, of course. Sorry." He stood aside and allowed Legolas to pass. "Sorry."

Legolas smiled softly, placing a hand on Gimli's shoulder to show he wasn't offended as he passed. "Thank you, mellon nin." He walked tiredly past. However, he didn't immediately go to the memorial site. Instead he wandered around the palace for a while, avoiding any place where people might gather. Right then all he really wanted was to be left alone. Crowds were too much for him to handle. Ducking past the busy servants' quarters when he heard voices from inside, he opened a door to the outside and stepped into the fresh air. The rain of the past days had cleared the oppressive atmosphere and it felt fresh if a little damp and the bright sunlight glinted on the droplets of rain, making it seem like the whole landscape was sparkling beautifully. To Legolas it seemed to almost make a mockery of the dark pain deep in his chest. It somehow felt wrong that the sun was shining when Mirkwood had lost its king. Despite this irrational thought, Legolas took a deep breath, loving the way the fresh Mirkwood air cleared some of the fogginess of grief from his mind.

Walking around the gardens, Legolas thanked the Valar that they remained deserted so he could wander in peace at his leisure. He took in the beautiful view of the forest, looking stunning despite the troubles it had been through lately. It was virtually cleansed now. After the War of the Ring, Orcs had fled from the forest and – before the plague – people had been working hard to clear up after their evil. The forest had done most of the work, the clean water washing away the festering, strangling darkness that had gripped the forest. The trees were blossoming again and the sun shone through the thick canopy, brightening the forest floor.

To Legolas now though it just seemed sad. Just as Mirkwood was beginning to blossom again she lost her king, who had brought her through the war. It didn't seem fair.

Turning away from the blooming forest – whose trees were whispering their sadness to him – Legolas walked slowly to the site where Thranduil and Rumil's ashes were resting just beneath the earth. He approached cautiously, nervously almost. Once there, more tears fell down his face and sobs wracked his body even though he had cried so much the night before that he didn't think he had anything left inside him. He put his hands over his mouth to muffle the cries in case anyone was near-by. Not that anyone would ever dare interfere.

Despite Gimli's rather grim view of the Mirkwood Elves, most knew how incredibly soul destroying it must have been for Legolas to lose both his father and brother and they would have done pretty much anything for their beloved prince, even if it meant leaving him alone when he needed it. After all, hadn't he already done enough for them? He had brought them through Mirkwood's most trying time almost single-handedly. Surely he deserved this time alone to grieve.

As Legolas cried, looking down at the small stone plaques substituting for headstones, he sank down to his knees in the wet grass, bending forward as though the weight of his grief was too much to bear.

From a distance, Glorfindel and Gandalf stopped short when they saw him crouched by his family's graves. Glorfindel went to go forwards but Gandalf held out his hand to stop him. "He can't stay like that," Glorfindel said quietly.

Gandalf nodded. "Perhaps it would be better if I saw to him. I don't think he will appreciate your presence right now." Glorfindel nodded in understanding. He had told Gandalf about his and Legolas' conversation when the wizard had found him sitting forlornly in the lounge. Naturally, he had been nothing but sympathetic.

Legolas didn't know anyone was near him until a firm hand was placed on his shoulder. He looked up sharply, quickly trying to hide his face and wipe his tears away in shame at being caught in his grief.

"It's alright," Gandalf said, moving his hand to Legolas' back. "It's just me."

The prince stopped trying to make himself presentable and looked around at the wizard. "Gandalf?" he asked shakily.

"I just wanted to make sure you were alright."

Legolas smiled weakly. "I'm alright," he replied with the same lack of conviction as yesterday.

Gandalf smiled softly, his free hand pulling Legolas' robe tighter around him as protection from the cold. "I know you're not." Legolas looked up at him with what Gandalf could only describe as desperation. "But that's alright. You don't have to be alright. In fact, I would be very concerned if you were." The prince looked away as more tears escaped him. "You feel as if there's no coming back, that you just want to fall into that black hole inside yourself. But, as hard as it is, you can't allow yourself to fall. You have to hold on to what you have left."

"What? What do I have left?" Legolas cried softly.

"You have your friends, your kingdom. You have Glorfindel."

Legolas looked up sharply. "What?" He looked down in embarrassment. "He…he told you."

"Yes, and he loves you. He just wants what's best for you."

"How can he know what's best for me?" Legolas asked, speaking with the wizard as he would never normally do.

"I think that right now he is in a better frame of mind. Perhaps it is best to take your time. Don't rush into anything."

"Did he tell you why we parted?" Legolas asked a little bitterly.

"He didn't go into detail."

"He cheated on me with a maiden he had known for years." Legolas' tear-stained face softened, his anger draining away as fast as it had come. "But I never wanted him to go. He begged me to forgive him but there was no need, I forgave him almost straight away. I just wanted us to be together even after what he did."

"You can still have that." Legolas shook his head. "Glorfindel still loves you. He'll be there when you need him."

"I want him back," Legolas cried softly.

"You can have him back. But he wants to take it slowly and I think that's very wise, especially under the circumstances." Surprisingly, Legolas nodded as if it suddenly made sense to him.

"I think I really upset him," he said softly.

Gandalf smiled. "I don't think he took your words to heart. He was more concerned than angry."

Legolas nodded and looked back to the graves of his family. The sight brought more tears to his eyes. "I wish you could bring them back to me," he whispered, as if he was speaking to himself rather than to the wizard and he hadn't really meant for Gandalf to hear.

"I wish I could too. I wish it more than anything, Legolas." The prince nodded, still crying gently. "Will you be alright now?"

Legolas smiled. "Yes, thank you."

"Why don't you come indoors and I'll get the Hobbits to whip you up some real Shire food? You must be starving."

"Actually, I really just…I think I need to be alone for a while."

Although Legolas thought Gandalf would try and talk him into coming inside, the wizard merely nodded. "I understand. Have some time alone, think things through and remember to come back inside soon. It's cold enough out here already and you need to rest some more." Legolas nodded and Gandalf stood, also helping the prince to his feet. "Thank you, Your Highness." He smiled at Legolas and placed his hand on Legolas' damp cheek. "Whatever happens, however you get through this, whatever you have to do I want you to know how incredibly proud of you I am. And how proud your father and brother would have been of you. Don't ever forget that, you hear?" Legolas nodded, more tears escaping him. "I'll leave you alone, try and keep people off your back for a while."

"Thank you."

"I'm sure I'll see you later." And with that Gandalf left Legolas alone to his misery. He walked around for a while before coming to his favourite place in all of Mirkwood – the old tree in which he and Rumil had played as children. With ease only found in Elves, Legolas leapt up into the tree. He relaxed back on one of the branches, now able to look out over his kingdom.

Translations

Mellon nin – My friend

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*