"Whatcha doing?" she asks.

I look at her, she's smug and sarcastic looking the grin on her pretty little face tells it all. I confidently raise my eyebrow and say, "What the fuck's it look like I'm doing, Rose? I'm eating my lunch."

"No you're not," she says, raising her oh so shapely eyebrow just as confidently right back at me. Did I forget to mention she was also a bitch? A royal bitch at that.

"I'm not?"

"No, you're not," she replies.

"Then what the fuck am I doing, Rose? You tell me."

I see Emmett back off, he raises his hands in surrender swiveling in his seat to face the opposite direction seemingly wanting no parts of this fuckery. In the little time that he has known us, he's caught on fast. The guy has seen this stand-off before, and he wanted no part of it. I'm really getting to like this guy. He knows when to back the fuck off, and when to shut the hell up, and he loves the shit out of my sister, so for right now and only right now, he has no faults in my eyes.

She looks at me and smiles. "Oh shit, I know that look." She excitedly looks around the room and comes up smugly sharp when she spots him. She spots him because he has also been watching our little standoff from afar – with those wide-eyed forest greens looking our way this whole time – and what does she do? She winks. 'Fucking! Winks! at my boy.' I look up just in time to see his whole face go up in flames. 'Dang!' He was so adorable, and my cock thought so too, it chooses that moment to get hard, and I whimper. I fucking whimper, and before I can see him look away, I throw my forehead to the table with a room echoing thud and whimper some more. 'Fuck me. Fuck my life...'

I open my eyes when Jake rubs his cold nose on my hand that's sitting in my lap with a half-empty beer in it. I notice it's gotten darker and I look at the time. Shit, time flies when you're having fun. Right yea, hell right. I get up, empty the rest of my beer down the sink, and decide to take Jake for his last walk of the evening.

The night air is still warm. Didn't need to wear the jacket, but I didn't want any unexpected company tonight, and the leather jacket tends to keep them away – well the guys anyway – the girls not so much. I still get the looks and the whistles, but as long as they are from afar, I don't give a shit. I hate my life right now, and I hate everyone in it, well almost everyone. The thought makes me sigh deeply and my head hurt, Shit! I need to stop that and cut it the fuck out right now.

The night air feels good on my skin, I close my eyes from time to time as I walk. I even take the time to sit on one of the outdoor benches and soak in the summer night. Letting Jake horn-doggingly ogle some of the pretty girls that walk by giving him some attention. I hear a few of them huff and whine in disgust as I just sit there paying them no mind. 'Sorry ladies, I'm busy right now!' This warm air reminds me of Edward, all soft and gentle. I feel his breath on my neck and a shiver runs up my spine. It's all sweet and hot just like him. I remember back to high school. After that first day, I continued to follow him to lunch like the puppy dog that I was, him and the pixie, Who I now know is his little sister Alice – a box of firecrackers that one is. The girl is still a firecracker, but these days she no longer intimidates me like she used to. 'Right'

I follow and I watch from my lonely table, as he interacts with his so-called friends and little sister, who has started to stare my way, with a small knowing smile on her face and a sparkle in her eyes, the eye's like her brother's deep forest green, and then- she winks, fucking winks- at me! At me! Fucking Jasper American flag flying- cowboy boot-wearing- chewing tobacco spitting- Hale, and what do I do? I blush. Yes, you heard me, blush. I didn't know I knew how to do that shit, but I did, with the heat rising in my cheeks I did the only thing I Jasper F'ing Hale knew how, I whimpered and once again threw my head with a room echoing thud to the table. 'Fuck me. Fuck my life.'

I'm grossly admiring the wear and tear of the Formica tabletop in my little hide me now arms wrapped around my head cocoon when I sense it or do I feel it? The air is being sucked from the room an inch at a time, I try to breathe as I look up from between my now sweaty curls, and there he is in all his fucking redheaded glory, standing right by my table with a shitty ass grin on his beautiful, wonderful looking face, and I forget something, really I forget everything, then I remember what I forgot, I forgot to fucking breathe. 'God damn you, breathe!' and desperately sucking air into my lungs with a loud embarrassing hiccup I do.

Him being in my space made me nervous and anxious it pulls me up straight, I find myself sitting to attention, well as attention as one can when their cock is trying to break its way out of their God damn jeans and claw across the lunch table to get to this sweet, sexy and all get out fuckhot boy, so I do the next best thing, and the only thing I know how, I quickly fold my hands in my overly expanded lap and I awkwardly smile and blink, and smile some more, then blink again. 'Fuck me. Fuck my life.'

Friendly and genuinely he holds out his hand to me. I look down at it like it's going to kill me, then I look back up all wide-eyed and bushy-tailed at, my boy. 'My boy!? Well, Hale, if you want him to be anything near your boy, you better do something, and you better do something fast.' So I do, I hold out my very own friendly but shaky hand making sure to spread out my other doing my best to disguise the embarrassing predicament in my now overly tight pants and take his. The tingle begins at my fingertips, I feel it travel down my spine to my toes and I can do nothing but grin from ear to ear right back at him. I know I look all kinds of stupid right now, but for the first time in my life I don't give a damn I just couldn't fucking help it, and I didn't fucking care.

I could feel the heat, the longing, and the want all at once; I had no intentions of letting it go- ever, and that my friends was the start of my everything. From that minute on, we were inseparable. I'd take him back and forth to school, he looked oh so fucking hot on the back of my bike. We'd study together and do homework. Day trips to La push the athlete in us getting a little Winter surfing in. We'd eat lunch together, sometimes by ourselves, and sometimes even his friends got up the nerve to sit with us.

I wasn't sure if they liked me yet, not that I gave a fuck. They didn't have to, but I did like the thought of having a few new friends, and these guys didn't seem too bad. How bad could they be? Edward trusted them, so now I had to learn to trust them too, and they now have to do the same to me.

Then there's Mike, Mike fucking Newton, who had done nothing but suspiciously eye me the fuck up since this all started. Don't get me wrong, I gave him what he'd been giving me, God knows I was a hell of a lot better than him at it. Until one day he decides to open his big ass mouth, and all I want to do was put my fist right in it.

"So, Jasper, how long have you known you were gay?" he sarcastically says.

'Well fuck me sideways.' I think to myself, as someone somewhere chokes on whatever it is they are eating, and you could hear a fucking pin drop. And all the air starts being sucked out of the room once again. 'Fuck me, fuck my life.'

My eyes open as Jake lets out a bored woof, and I let out another God damn deep but girly sigh. It's gotten late and I need to be getting home-back to Emmett's. "Damn it!" I stand, stretch, and groan. "Not as young as you used to be, Hale" The thought makes me laugh nervously, then Jake and I finish our walk towards the apartment. "God, not as young, huh? Has it been that long really".

It seems like yesterday, but it's been nearly 12 years. Fuck me! 12 years. Would we have ever thought it? Well, I would have, I've always known I loved Edward, and he has always told me the same, even after Mike fucking Newton outed me, which I really didn't give a shit about, cause in the closet I was not, I was just not running around telling every Tom, Dick, and fucking Harry that I liked dick.

I didn't know much back then, well other than what I'd seen in porn. And although I was out, I still hadn't had the pleasure of experiencing another guy's lips, let alone any other body parts on mine. To be honest, meeting Edward was the closest I'd come to needing more, and we hadn't really talked about that stuff yet. At that point we were just close, just very fucking close, back then all I could do was hope that one day we'd get even closer. Don't get me wrong, in my late-night dreams and my early morning showers, we were always a lot closer, but up until that second, it was all in my head.

But then I remember, I remember oh to clear and well what he did, I still think it was one of the bravest things I could ever have imagined.

He reaches over, covers my hand in his and looks straight at Mike fucking Newton and says, "Hopefully as long as I have," and turns to me with a big ass shit-eating grin on his face. Gotta love my boy, and with that, Mike Newton got up and walked away, me now thinking Edward has lost one of his best friends.