A/N Thanks guys for the reviews and the adding to fav's I am so bloody happy right now you wouldn't believe, once again I would love to Thank Miss Debra Anne for all that she does for me in the hope off not making me look way stupid...

Hope this story is keeping you all interested...

Time to see what Jasper's been up too...

My eyes flutter open, it takes me a minute to remember where the hell I actually am, then my sweaty palms and poised fingers on the keys barrel me back into the here and now. I eagerly wipe my hands on my jeans take a long quenching drink from my beer and mentally cheer myself on. "OK, Hale, head in the game. Keep your head in the game, man."

I'm determined to fix this, its time to put this behind us once and for all, I'll have to start seeing this from Edwards point of view at some point, time to put myself in his shoes.

Edward is a very gentle romantic soul, he's also very smart and articulate - he thinks things through very thoroughly, and never approaches anything halfheartedly. It's all or nothing with him, which makes his job at keeping me grounded look effortless.

That's one of the reasons we work so well. He's the strong silent type, pure strength and fortitude, whereas I'm the confident bad ass, bold and cocky taking nobodies shit!

He's always saying its his favorite part of us, we complement each other. Sometimes when he's feeling melancholy, he'll reach across to find me, any part, he's not particular, could be a hand, an arm, even my thigh, just to feel connected. Sometimes he cups my face in his hands and says the word's I love to hear and will never tire of, "Jaaaay, Jasper, Jaspeeeeeeeeeeer," taking me back to our teenage days, putting a smile on my face. And with a matching smile on his lips, he continues,

"Baby! I love you so much. "The best part of me is always you."

And I continuously concur.

I can't count how many times we've recited that phase to one another over the years. I think that's what led Edward to his current line of thinking, and has us in this somewhat fragile predicament. Fuck, I really have to fix this shit.

Time to focus, I'm staring again at the screen. Edward told Emmett he needs a few days to think, but not what he needs to think about or why he left, "thank fuck."

Not sure if I want Emmett's take on this whole situation. That's another scary thought, Emmett having to make a fucking mature decision about something that doesn't revolve around football, food, or sex. Know what? I got a nerve! Who the fuck am I to be dissing Emmett for being immature? God, if there was a fucking medal given out, I think I'd be at the front of the line. The immature Oscar would definitely be going to one Jasper Hale right now.

He's telling Emmett that he still loves me, but he doesn't know if that's enough to get us through this. He said he was under the impression that we were moving forward, that we were growing as a couple, but he has come to the conclusion after Wednesday that maybe we're not.

God, why the fuck do I have to be such a dickhead? All my boy wants and is thinking about is our future, and all I seem to be able to do is screw this the fuck up.

I'm thinking it's time to get up the nerve to answer his email. I straighten myself in the seat, bringing my once again; sweaty fingers to the keys. I feel like I'm entering the fucking twilight zone. Maybe I am. I do have to pretend to be Emmett, and that thought alone scares the crap out of me, but I move on. I have to. I have to do this for me. I have to do this for us.

So I start typing, asking him if he's able to tell me what we fought about?

I ask him if its something he thinks he really can't get over?

And I ask him if he can really live without me in his life? And if its worth all we've been through and shared, to risk it and walk away. I hit the send button. Fuck!

Shit I need a fucking beer.

Rubbing my face with the palms of my hands, I try to keep some of this tiredness at bay. I head for the kitchen, but not without another old ass stretch, and chuckle.

Edward's right ya know, we're getting fucking older, and maybe it is time to act our fucking ages and grow the fuck up - his words not mine. Yeah, he has a tendency to use the 'FUCK' word! A lot...'

On my way to the kitchen, I throw off my boots and socks, liking the feel of the cold hardwood floors under my bare feet. I need the coolness to wake me up a little. It's been a fucking long ass few days.

I hear a noise and look over to see Jake tussle in his sleep on the floor in front of the TV. Sensing me, he raises his tired head, and gives me another one of his 'you're crazy, man' looks, and I smile down at him, cause this time I agree.

I bend to give his big old head a rub on the way back, my new cold beer now in hand.

Re-entering the office I hear the beeping, so I know he's replied. The thought gave me a tight feeling in my stomach - you know the one? The one that makes every hair on your body stand on end with anticipation, then makes you want to puke your guts up at the same time? Yeah that one! Well, that's what I'm feeling.

But somehow I find the balls to sit my ass back down in front of the computer and hit the envelope.

It starts with Edward telling Em that he can't and won't say why we fought. 'Well thank fuck for little mercies,' I think to myself. He continues saying that, for one, it's not his story alone to tell, and two, even through we are all family, he can't find it in him to break his husband's trust and talk that way behind his back.

Explaining that, whatever this all is, and in whatever direction it leads us, we will figure that part out ourselves, and we will have to deal with it as best we can when the time comes; or maybe even move on.

My heart stopped - really fucking stopped - and I couldn't breathe. I had to lean back in the chair and close my eyes for a second, just to get a fucking hold of myself. My chest hurts. It feels like Jake is still lying across it, and at any moment, the weight could collapse on me, causing my spine to snap.

This can't be happening right now. It wasn't supposed to go like this. What the fuck is wrong with us? Why does it feel like we're falling apart? My breath is labored and my eyes sting. I really want to punch a fucking wall right now, I'm so pissed. I need to get control of myself and this fucking situation.

So I raise my head, allowing my dazed and lifeless eyes to glance at the screen again, bracing myself for what's to come.

Answering the question if he was willing to walk away from our lives together, Edward tells Emmett how much I mean to him, and how much he loves me; that he has always loved and cherished me with everything he has.

He goes on to say fighting brought out the worst in us both, and even though it would be a life changing decision, he thought we were strong enough to withstand it. He knew before he brought it up that it would be hard for me; he just didn't realize how fucking hard.

He continued to explain to Em that he had thought long and hard regarding this decision, that he had scrutinized all our opinions and had weighed all the pros and cons, dotting all his I's and crossing all his T's before he even approached me on the subject.

Knowing Edward, that's exactly what he did. Since we've been married -who am I kidding, soon after we started dating - Edward started making the decisions regarding our lives, and relationship; and up until now, I never had a problem letting him.

Don't get me wrong. He never did it in a controlling or a manipulative way. He was just always so much better at it than me, and I was way too hot headed and stubborn to make a fucking decision to save my life, so I was willing to let him take the reins.

Pulling myself up to a straighter sitting position, noticing I was starting to slump over the keyboard, the pain in my neck and shoulders burning with the anxiety and stress of the hours that have passed.

I really fucked this the hell up. Edward wanted to sit and talk, maybe take the weekend and relax and discuss this, but I jumped off the handle, yelling at him about the things this might change, and that I didn't know if I was ready for this. Not us - just me. God I'm such a selfish bastard sometimes.

I questioned Edward's judgment and his fucking sanity. Shit that pissed him off for real. The look in his eyes at that moment broke my heart; but me being the bastard that I am, I continued to bombard him with negative accusations. He says I made him feel like an idiot, and that I treated him like a fucking child. I really am a moron.

I remember him trying to reassure me, trying to make me feel confident about the whole situation, but I just wouldn't fucking listen to him. I wouldn't give him a God damn minute to explain. He was trying to tell me that we could do this, that we were a strong and loving couple, reaching out his arms to me, gesturing that we should hold each other, and all I could do was push him away.

He tried to tell me that this was the next step in our lives together, that our future would look nothing but brighter and be happier for it. And what do I fucking do? I laughed. I laughed right in his fucking sweet and sexy face. He had tears in his ever-green eyes, and I did nothing but laugh at him - not a belly laugh but one of those sarcastic evil laughs like a mad man. Shit, I'm an asshole. I don't know why he ever fucking loved me in the first place.

He went on to explain to Emmett that all my yelling and hyperventilating caused him to reconsider, and my immaturity regarding the whole situation was really tearing at his heart. But he was hoping this time apart would give us both some time to reconsider where we stand.

Shit, I'm such an idiot - not Edward. I'm so immature - not Emmett. Why would I do that? What was I thinking? I really am a moron.

I look at the clock and realize how late it's gotten, and I figure I really should get some sleep. I type a quick response to Edward, saying that Rose needed me and that I would give his email some thought, and hopefully have an answer to all this in the morning, and not to worry. Between himself and Edward, they would create world peace and end world hunger, knowing Emmett would do that just to lighten this shit! Closing the email I get up from the desk, it really has been a long ass fucking day.

I forgo tonight's shower and just get out of my jeans and t-shirt and slip under the covers of the bed in the spare room. It's cold and crisp, and my body relaxes into it. The bed's a little smaller than what I'm used to, but it will do for a couple of nights. I smile to myself. It kind of reminds me of Edward's old bed. Oh, Edwards old bed, now that's a thought.

Edward's bed was small compared to the one we share now, but oh my God, what the hell we were able to do in that bed! The thought makes me smile to myself as teenage memories now flood my tired mind. Thinking of Edward's small ass bed and us two grown boys with nothing but lust, loins and want to egg us on and of course those raging teenage hormones ta-boot. God, it was amazing, the things we got up to in that little ass bed!

I throw my head deeper down on the pillow and close my eyes, but suddenly they blink back open, and I frustratingly realize sleep is not going to come easily.

I lift my arms and plant them behind my head and stare up at the ceiling. Edward's bed... Edward's God ass small bed. And Edward and me all legs, arms, mouths, and tongues, all wanton and lustful and that little small ass bed... I can't help but smile again to myself. God, I loved that bed! I really loved that bed and that boy!

I'm finding it really hard to sleep. I'm tossing and turning and my mind won't stop, all the memories from that little bed come flooding back. The kiss - that fucking chap stick kiss - was getting the better of me as I pulled him close. I could feel nothing but the heat radiating off the both of us, my arm now around his waist and his on the back of my neck, pulling me closer to him.

At that moment I did the only thing I could, I reached behind me and locked the door of Edward's room. I pushed him forward making him tumble backward until the back of his legs hit the bed and he falls to the mattress the force of the shove taking me with him. We landed side by side our hands and lips never once leaving each other and I couldn't believe how good he felt pressed against me.

I desperately needed to breathe, but I couldn't find the strength in me to stop kissing him. It felt so good. The noises this boy makes go straight to my already hard as fuck aching cock, and I can't think. It feels so hot and really really good, I don't want to stop. But I have to. We need air, we need it now. I pull back and open my eyes for the second time since our lips locked, and I hope to God he sees what I see as he looks up at me, cause all I see are his forest greens, all wet and glassy with determination and wantonness.

I smile down at him, and he gives me this hot little shy ass smile back. God, my heart melts and I have to kiss him again, but this time its harder its stronger. My body is starting to overheat, and I can feel myself hyperventilate as the sweat runs down my back, but I really don't give a shit right now, cause I'm where I want to be. I'm where I should be. I'm where I belong, in the arms of my boy.

My hands are everywhere. I can't get enough of him. I feel his chest through his shirt, and it feels so strong and so smooth. I slide up to his neck as my hand gets to touch the skin right under his jaw. My breath hitches, cause I can't believe my guy can feel so wonderful.

My fingers reach and grab his sexy all over the place hair, and it's so silky and soft, and I find myself needing to pull on it, and when I do, he lets out the most amazing groan I have ever heard. 'Oh, my gravy.' I need to hear that again and again, so I pull just to make sure, and there it is!

In the meantime, Edward gets this great idea to follow my lead, and slips his fingers from my neck up into my hair and pulls - he pulls hard. I feel it first in my toes, then it runs up my legs over my dick through my belly and comes out my mouth in a really loud, raspy, heavy, groan, that shocks the shit out of me.

I pull back from Edward as I feel the flush reach my face. He's smiling up at me like a mad man. I watch in awe as he pushes his lips together and lets out a long 'Mmmmmmm...' and says, "Again, Jasper. Again!" Shit! Don't have to ask me twice. He roughly grabs me by the back of my hair pulls it hard again, I moan once more, and he smiles into our kiss. 'Fucker!'

I take this opportunity to roll over on top of him, the sensations and smells are getting to be too damn much, I need to feel him, all of him, now! Rolling myself slowly I lay the weight of my body down onto his. And oh my fucking God, if it doesn't feel just right. I'm trembling from head to toe, I seriously think I'm going to hyperventilate. I'm really fucking nervous and about to pass out, but under me, I feel Edward's body having all the same reactions like mine, in a way it eases my mind to feel him trembling also.

I've got to calm my nervousness and take some control, knowing this is just as new to him as it is to me. So I push forward. I push so fucking hard, my dick suddenly rubs against his, and oh my fuck! I freeze! Cause shit, that shit's outstanding! Instantly my belly tightens and I feel myself about to cum, I mean right now! Like right this second!

My eyes fly open and Edwards flushed handsome face comes into view. He breathes deep and smiles wide and his glassy eyes flutter closed right before he cheekily jerks his body up to meet mine, causing our dicks to rub roughly together one more time. 'Jesus H Christ!' Was my last thought before both of us let out a deep, loud, heavy, moan, filling the room around us and vibrating in our ears making us press our bodies closer, if that was even possible, I'm drowning here, both of us hanging on for dear life.

Uncontrollably the train wreck begins. Desperately and frantically, our hormones go into overdrive, I compared it to white water rafting or jumping out of a God damn airplane. Everything is on overdrive, its all hyper and rushing, its all fast and wet, red hot blood is finding its way to body parts I didn't even know I had. Every nerve ending is tingling, and the tips of my fingers and toes feel numb. Shit! I don't think I ever want to stop, I never want this to end.

Until. I feel his hand on my chest, and my name breathlessly leaving his lips. He pushes me off him, both his hands on my chest now. I pull up abruptly staring at him, my throat burning with fever and anticipation as I look down on him. His face, like mine I'm sure, is all fevered and flushed. His eyes are glossy and his lips are as red as the blood that now runs through my veins for him, they're all swollen and hurt and for a second I feel bad, I long to ease their sting so I lean in and lick them, hoping I take away a little of their pain. Shit! He tastes so fucking good. Then once again, I'm pushed back, him still needing to get my attention. I look at him like he's crazy, I want to yell, 'what the fuck! Edward!' So when the words leave his mouth, I swear he is crazy and wish that I had yelled, and I die just a little inside.

"Jasper, no. Jasper! Stop!"

'Oh crap! Has he re-thought this? Has he re-thought us?'

A/N I'm hoping that if people keep reading and adding to Fav's that Jasper will finally get some loving...

Once again Big Big Thanks to Debra Anne...this is not her cup of tea so to speak, but because she loves me she is willing to read between her fingers...