A/N

I don't own these boys,but they sure as hell own me.

I want to thank everyone who reads and reviews you guys are wonderful.

As as for my amazing Beta Deβra Anne, She rocks big time.

Want to give a shout out to mw138-and her wonderful one shot Sacrifice if you haven't read it go find it on my faves ( warning you will do ugly cry)

so lets find out what Mister Eward Hale-Cullen has been up too lately:

'What's going on? Everything's fuzzy… I can't think straight. What's wrong with me?'

My head hurts and I'm so confused. I can't move. I can't even open my eyes. What the heck! I try to breathe and clear my head, but I'm just more aware of the constant pounding behind my eyes. It's so bad, my ears are humming and ringing painfully. 'What the hell is going on? Why can't I open my God damn eyes? Shit!'

Tasting the bile that laces my tongue and invades my taste buds, it takes but a few moments before the churning registers in my stomach and I feel it cramp, causing me to dry heave and choke. Reflexively, somehow, I roll on my side, unable to hold back the desire and need to vomit.

It consumes me, overtaking my need and desire to try and control the sensation, making me shudder. I feel myself gulping back thick, heavy saliva. I'm desperately sucking air through my mouth and nose, but it's thick and damp, making me cringe as a foul, decaying, stale scent hits me smack in the face, stinging my eyes. That, accompanied with the burning sensation in my nostrils, is the last straw. My body cannot hold back any longer, and my whole frame spasms uncontrollably, right before releasing the contents of my stomach everywhere; and suddenly I'm overwhelmed and weak, coughing franticly, unable to catch my breath.

Shit! In no time the liquid is soaking into my clothes. What the hell! Its cold dampness makes my skin crawl, and I feel my stomach rumble again. Fuck this.

I need to wipe my face, so I concentrate and try to bring my hand up in order to remove the offending effusion from my lips and chin. WHAT? I panic. My hands are bound.

Okay, I have to open my eyes. I try. Damn it, I can't! What the hell!

Fine. Breathe. I try to inhale deeply. Panicking will do me no good. But then a sharp pain runs up my spine and lands in my chest, threatening to consume me. Shit!

I try pulling my hands and wrists apart, frantically sinking deeper into dread and despair. Try as I might, I can't understand what's happening. I twist and squirm uncontrollably, probably hurting myself more in the process. Terror has taken over, and I sense myself losing every coherent thought I've ever had. To make matters worse, the tattoo in my head is getting louder and stronger, making my eyes water and my throat contract once again. I feel the bile rising in my throat again.

Easy, Edward. I try to force my brain back into control. Take it easy. You have to calm down.

A tremble goes through me as I try once again to pry my eyelids apart. It feels like sandpaper is being scraped over my eyeballs – the harshness causes the sting to start up again, and I feel the tears roll down my cheeks once more. Relax. Think.

Pressing my hands together, I slowly raise them and wipe away some of the dampness from my face. It helps, but I'm still squirming and spasming. I have to struggle to get any volume of air in my lungs. A deep breath is out of the question – the pain in my chest is excruciating when I try.

God, my head! I decide to try the opposite tack. Squeezing my eyes tight, I feel new tears slide down my cheeks, slipping between my lips. My tongue instinctively sweeps over them, back and forth, and I taste the bitter flavor of salt and blood. What the... What's God damn going on here?

I need to ease the pressure from my pounding head and aching joints, but this God forsaken shit is only making things worse. My body's trembling as my nerves try to get the better of me.

Controlling my breathing is key, so I try again to take a deep breath, hoping to ease the pressure. I hear a wheeze, but I try again, and I'm rewarded with a stabbing pain. The wheezing gets heavier and louder. If I didn't know better, I'd swear I was having a heart attack; but I'm not, it's something else - something new to me. I've never felt like this before.

My head spins uncontrollably, so I try to relax, but my heart is pounding hard and heavy in my chest. Every nerve ending is on alert, and my skin tingles, covering me with the sensation of pins and needles,

I tell myself to raise my feet, but the need to sit up is stronger. I try with all I have, and feel my head lift off the cold, hard surface, but it doesn't last. It's too heavy, and it falls with a heavy thud.

What the hell is going on?

And then it hits me. Fear. It's Fear. I've never felt it like this before. But then I've never been this afraid before. God damn Fear.

My whole body shivers at the thought, and I shudder from head to toe. I feel it in every bone and through every muscle. I feel it in my core. My head and heart pound even harder, and a sharp pain shoots across my eyelids. Feeling the sting and burn once more, I whimper. What the hell is going on?

Slow breaths, Edward. Take it easy. I pray that my body will start listening to my mind. Stay calm.

Without trying to open my eyes, I bring my wrists up to my face wiping them over my mouth. I stop, and then slide them over my lips again. Tape! They're bound with medical tape!

I try pulling on it with my teeth, but there are too many layers. God damn it. What's going on? Where the hell's Jasper? Why isn't he here helping me? And that fucking thought pushes me over the edge, and I cry even louder and harder. "I Want Jasssssssper!" I whisper and whimper into my clenched fists, biting down on my fingers. And God help me, my eyes still sting, burning in their sockets. Jasssssssper…

My sobs are barely audible, my cries taking on a childlike demeanor, settling deeper in my chest and causing me to pant uncontrollably, If I could only wrap my head around this. If I could only come up with an explanation, maybe I could understand this crap.

I remember leaving for work; Jasper had walked me to the car, kissing me like his life depended on it, which he constantly reminds me that it does. Swiping my tongue over my chapped lips, I can still taste his faint flavor, and it makes me want to wail. Where the hell are you, Jasper?

I remember not wanting to leave - just wanting to stay right where I was, wrapped in him in his love, his passion, his comfort. But I had known I had to go, reminding myself that I would be back in his arms in no time at all.

So leaving reluctantly, I had driven down our street, watching his long, lean, sexy legs glide across the sidewalk with the wind blowing through his sexy-as-all-hell blond hair. I had just wanted to run my fingers through it one more time - maybe get a chance to tug on the ends, making him release one of his deliciously deep moans. I grin and shift uncomfortably in my seat, as I watch him make his way to the pub.

All I could do then was smile dreamily like a crazy person and wave like a madman. I recall thinking how lucky I am, and counting the hours and minutes until I would be wrapped up with him again.

Work had been crazy. We had been incredibly busy; but then I enjoy nights like that. They seem to go by quickly, leaving little time to dwell on my Jasper sleeping alone. Then, surprisingly, the shift is over, and I'm on my way home to the arms of my loving man way sooner than expected.

The only aggravating point of the whole night had been Alec driving me crazy – and way more than usual. He had been up my ass all night long, tormenting me, trying to push my limits, hoping I would break. Fat chance of that ever fucking happening, asshole!

Truthfully, I had been eager to get the hell out of there and be done with him and his sorry ass breathing down my neck. His God-awful cheap cologne and his hideous halitosis made my stomach turn with every exhale he took. I swear the guy ate nothing but shit mac-muffins for breakfast, lunch and dinner, and wouldn't know his way around a toothbrush or shower if his life depended on it – and he's a doctor? What freaking med school did he go to!

I had come to the conclusion that the guy just made me physically ill.

Wherever I was, he was. Wherever I went, he went. I have told him so many times to leave me be - that I wasn't interested. He simply would not listen! My voice fell on deaf ears, and he was pissing me the hell off so badly. Some of the nurses even sensed my distress, and tried to distract him, but the fucker would have none of it, making up one excuse after another.

He has pestered and pushed me to the point of wanting to kick his ass myself. Well at least Jasper wouldn't have to worry anymore, I thought smugly, causing me to smile, despite my predicament.

Being rude to him was getting easier too – now that I knew and understood that he wasn't the person he pretended to be at first. I allowed myself the freedom of telling him to go to hell, and it felt very liberating and empowering, though very out of character for me. Jasper has been reassuring me too, telling me how proud of me he is. And with every compliment he gives me, the stronger I feel.

But truthfully, I've really had my fill of good old Doctor Volturi since – if not before – that night at the pub.

I think back to that night when my friends wanted to take me to the pub to celebrate the baby with Jasper and me. I had been so excited, and had known Jasper would get a kick out of it, so I had really been looking forward to having a great time…

Until someone slipped and mentioned it in front of Alec. I hadn't intentionally snubbed him, but I didn't really want him there. He had only been at the hospital a couple of weeks, but in that short time, he'd started giving me such a hard time, making snide remarks about my husband and our marriage. He'd even had the gall to ask if I was really sure I'd found the right man to spend the rest of my life with, explaining that I could do so much better, all the while raising his eye brows at me. Even being so bold as to ask how I could be content just settling for a bar owner – and was I really sure that said bar owner and a whining ass crying baby would make me happy?

Of course, he never made me rethink my life or reconsider or question my actions, if anything, he helped reinforce my choices. I knew what I wanted. I knew where I belonged, and that was with Jasper. It always has been, and always will be, Jasper. There has never been any question. There would be no other for me.

I was as happy as one man legally should be. I knew I could never find anyone else to love me and take care of me the way Jasper does and always has.

I have never even bothered looking at others. From his first day in high school, when I saw my beautiful angel stride seductively by me without him even noticing his surroundings, I knew I had to have him, own him, and make him mine. That's what I was determined to do, and I set out to succeed.

The fact that Alec, a virtual stranger, was questioning it, undermining it, just pissed me off even more.

So although Alec joining us at the bar that night made me a little apprehensive and anxious, I think that was when I first realized he was as stupid as he looked.

He had already met Jasper, and seen him in action - and to say my man could be intimidating at times would be an understatement. Jasper might be overly-protective and possessive, but I love him dearly for it. But taking anyone else's bullshit was not a strong point of his, so if Alec even thought for one second that he would be able to waltz into that pub and act like nothing had happened, he had another thing coming, and a rude awaking ahead of him.

If Jasper even had an inkling that Alec was up to something, he would diffidently 'put the hurt on him' (his words, not mine). And knowing Jasper the way I do, I was sure he'd already seen Alec coming. He has a sense for this kind of stuff - an eerie ability to read people's intentions. So the minute he realized or suspected that Alec has been trying to intimidate me or disrespect our marriage in any way, there would be hell to pay.

With this in mind, I made my way into the pub timidly and anxiously. I really didn't want my husband to have to defend our honor to a jerk such as Alec.

It's not in my nature to be confrontational. I tend to wait things out, and hope that people would just tire of pushing, and back the hell off. Jasper, however, would never sit back, especially if he knew there were people that just wouldn't take no for an answer. The ones with no morals or respect for others had to be pushed back, and with that in mind, and being a little bit of a hothead, so to speak, Jasper did the pushing.

Considering we both take our marriage very seriously.

The fact that some people don't understand, and that some states don't even consider us a couple, is and always will be dis-heartening, but we stood our ground. We knew what we were up against, and we knew that what we have is real. We're making a good life together, and that's all that matters to us. As long as we have the people we love, and who have supported us, surrounding us, we will always make this work.

We had stood before family and friends and made vows and promises to one another and them that what we were doing was for life - till death do us part - and we meant each and every word.

So to think that someone would try and belittle what we had worked so hard to keep sacred, and the family we were trying to create, just blew my mind.

Jasper on the other hand took it in stride, saying there was always an asshole around every corner.

His eyes met mine as soon as I was in the door, and he sensed my distress. Without ever needing to question why, he came to my rescue, engulfing me in his warm embrace, with his tender touches and caring words. I was able to melt in to him, and for a little while, Alec was put on the back burner.

But he never went far. He was always hovering, letting me know that he wasn't about to give up. Thus the asshole didn't take long to get under Jasper's skin and on his last nerve.

When I saw Jasper ask Alec to join him at the bar, I knew it was the moment of truth. This was going to make or break our whole existence. Knowing I would still have to work with said asshole, the outcome made me nervous.

But I know Jasper. Hot head, YES. Unintelligent, NO. He's smooth and classy until it's time not to be.

And when I looked up, I saw it. I guess the time had come - not to be - because Jasper's fist was connecting to Alec's face.

That very moment, every concern, worry, and fear just drained from my body, as all I could see was my sexy-as-all-hell husband all hot and bothered before me. With a look of a mischievous child waiting to be scolded, I saw panic set in, and he tried his best to look at everything and nothing all at the same time, rather than look at me.

I remember feeling lightheaded and excited. Every nerve ending had come to life as my blood ran through me like a raging river. Stopping at all the right points, it had given me the strength to walk to him, slowly fanning his beautiful face with my hot breath panting heavily. And in a low, breathy voice, I had basically told him to get his coat, 'cause I was going to take him home and fuck him senseless. And if memory serves me right, I did!

Sighing shakily at the memory of that night, my body shudders and chills run up my spine. The dampness is starting to set into my clothes, and the stickiness from my puke clinging nastily to my skin makes me want to claw through my scrubs and rip them from me. As I feel the bile rise again in my throat, I cough to ward off the sensation, but then saliva builds quickly into a pool on my tongue, making me gag uncontrollably.

My joints hurt from lying here. My chest hurts from puking. And my God damn eyes still hurt and sting, but at least I'm able to open them slightly. I sigh. My vision is blurry as the tears blind me, but through the "liquid curtain," I can make out a stone wall. I fight to keep my eyes open, scanning the area. I'm surrounded by it.

I'm on some kind of mattress on the floor. Bouncing a little I realize it's not very thick, as my coccyx hits the hard floor underneath with every thrust. Pain shoots up my spine and neck, feeding the heavy pounding in my head, and my eyes water even more. God damn it.

I look around suspiciously, warily twisting my neck, not wanting to cause myself more pain, especially as I have no idea of what damage has been done to my body already. I don't want to push myself too hard, and hurt myself even more.

But I have to get a sense of where I am. I have to find a way to get myself out of this mess. I have to get back in one piece to Jasper and the kids. This hell hole will not be my final resting place, should I not be found.

Thoughts of Jasper and the kids tears my heart, and a heavy sob escapes as I squeeze my eyes shut, holding back yet another round of tears. I must get free. I must get back to them. I will not have them wondering or worrying about whatever has happened to me. The thought that they would have to go through their lives with regret or pain just intensifies my despair.

The notion of Jasper having to go on without me just rends my heart. Never seeing his beautiful face or getting to touch his warm, soft skin… or hear his velvet drawl as he whispers tender words while making love. I'm crying now. The thought of never getting to make love to Jasper again – seeing him move above me, feeling him deep inside me, having him take me, claim me, submitting to his every whim, wanting nothing but to be one with him.

Then my breath hitches as a thought cross's my mind.

If this is it, would he move on? If this is the end, would he find someone else? If all was said and done, would he love another?

But he needs to be loved, he needs to be looked after, he needs to be taking care off, just as much as he takes care of everyone else.

But as I lay here in the dirt cold, hungry, and wet. I have nothing but time to think.

Do I really want him to go on? Do I really want him to find someone else? Hell No!

But I can't be selfish. I can't take that away from him. He needs love in his life. He needs a partner to take care of. That's his role. That's his desire. He needs to feel wanted, needed, and above all, he needs to feel loved.

But the thought of him being with someone else kills me. I'm a selfish bastard at times. He is mine, and has been mine alone. Neither one of us has ever been with another. Only our lips have touched. Only our limbs have tangled. Only our bodies have joined.

And the thought of someone doing all that to him consumes my heart, squeezes it tight, then pulls it apart. I gasp for air, and I can't catch my breath. Shit, this fucking sucks!

He'll have the kids, at least. They'll be his world. He'll love them like no one has ever been loved before. He'll be such a good daddy – so caring, and tender, and protective. They'll want for nothing, and they will never live a day without knowing how special they are. He'll take care of them for me... For us. That thought lifts me up and calms me. It gives me hope.

Damn! I need to stop this! Shaking my head, I try my best to clear my depressing thoughts, cringing at the pain that shoots through my skull. I steady myself and take a few deep breaths. I have to get through this! I have to fight! And thinking of my husband and kids is just exactly the inspiration I need right now.

Gently lifting my head one more time, I curiously scan the room again. I see boxes and some type of machines, old beds and screens – hospital equipment and moving boxes were everywhere, piled to the ceiling and a few feet deep from the walls.

I know I'm not at the hospital though. It's way too stale and damp. So where the hell am I? How did I get here? And who in God's name would do something like this!

My thoughts fly quickly, while confusion, depression and fear rush through each and every vein in my body. Panic is setting in. My chest heaves, my heart pounds and my head spins. I can hear the wheezing in my lungs. And I whimper, weakly trying to hold back my sobs and control my tearing eyes.

Damn it, Edward! I can't give in. As the dampness, stickiness, and pain try to take me over, I silently give myself a pep talk.

W.W.J.D.?... What. Would. Jasper. Do?

You can do this. You have to do this. Your husband and children need you to do this. So push your fears to the back of your mind, get the hell over yourself, and think, man. Think! Try to remember how you got here, and then maybe you can find your way out and home….. To your family.

So I press myself to recall what happened. I slow my breathing and steady my nerves. I remember being so happy that my God damn night was over and I was able to grab a quick shower - trying to rid my body of the stench that shit mac-muffins-breath had left on me - and then being able to walk out that door on my way home to my loving man.

I couldn't have been more elated - and totally exhausted - ready to jump into bed and cuddle up to the strong hard body of my love.

I had made it to my car. It had been freezing, as usual, and the thought had made me chuckle. 'Jasper's poor toes!'

I opened the driver's door and started the engine, turning on the heat. Then I stood and made my way to the back door, and opened it, getting ready to throw my messenger bag on the seat.

Then I heard it. Someone was calling my name, asking me to wait up. Slinging my bag in the back and closing the door, I turned to see who needed me so badly – prepared to tell whoever it was that no way in hell was I going back in there. I was done, and I had a warm husband to get to. STAT!

And suddenly nothing. Just blackness.

So here I am - wherever here might be... God damn it!

I roll to my side with a heavy groan and a grunt, pulling my knees to my chest and trying to stretch my joints. Feeling their objection to my manipulations, I bite down hard on my bottom lip, once again licking them, tasting fresh tears mixed with stale blood.

I freeze. There's a noise… My eyes scan the room quickly as my ears strain to hear where the sound is coming from. Is it coming in my direction? I hear a doorknob jiggling, and rubbing sounds, like the door is hard to open. Someone is having a problem getting it to give.

My heart quickens. Maybe it's Jasper! Maybe he's found me! Suddenly my heart's racing with joy and hope. I feel my lips curl into a wide smile. Then suddenly I frown with a small whimper as my heart skips a beat before dying in my chest.

My God! The room fills with more cold air, making me shiver. And once again, a heavy, stale smell invades my nostrils, making them burn more harshly. A figure appears out of the shadows, twisting and bending their way into the cramped space, straightening as they find themselves in front of me.

And fuck me; my breath hitches as my heart skips a beat once more. Closing my eyes slowly, I pray that my end comes quickly; as spending one minute with this person will be my undoing, if not my death.

Gradually opening my eyes, I stare into the lifeless, uncaring, unconcerned face of fucking Doctor Alec Volturi. Swallowing hard, I start to pray.

Crying silently, not able to hold back my disappointment, my head screams, I want Jassssssssssssper! As I push my knees tighter to my cold, hard chest.

He kneels before me, and my body shivers as he places a hand on my head, trying, but desperately failing, to soothe me.

I jolt back, doing my best to get out of his reach, but he grabs my hair, pulling me towards him as he lowers his face to mine. I gag in response, making him look angrily at me. He tugs harder on my hair, and I hiss. This hair pulling is not helping the pounding in my head.

Moving closer still, he brings his chest to my knees, pressing tighter to me as I pull back. He unclenches his fist in my hair, but doesn't let go. Instead, he runs his fingers through my now sticky, sweaty strands as he glares into my eyes.

I whimper weakly, taking a deep breath and closing my eyes. Then his hot, vile breath pours over my face, and I resist the urge to gag again.

As he shushes me, his fingers in my hair become more urgent and determined. He's pulling a little harder as his shushes become more panicked, rather than tender.

"Edward, look at me." His voice is deep and rough.

I can't. I squeeze my eyes tighter.

"Look at me." Pulling on my hair, he brings my face up to meet his and still my eyes are closed tightly. My breathing grows more labored as my heart hammers in my chest. "GOD DAMN IT, EDWARD! LOOK. AT. ME."

His yelling hurts my ears, and I pull my fists up to hide my face. But a fraction of a second later, his other hand comes up and smacks them away, causing me to twist slightly before he yanks me back into position by my hair, making my head hit the thin mattress and bounce off the floor underneath.

The room is spinning. I bring my bound hands to my head, expecting to find what I already knew was there.

As I bring my hands back down to inspect them, my suspicions are confirmed: I'm bleeding.

I raise my eyes to him, and he's still glaring at me, but apparently trying his best to make it look tender. Tilting his head to the side slightly, he gives me a small, fake smile.

"Edward, Ed, Eddy…" I cringe. "Sweet pea, why would you want to make me mad? Really, baby, I don't think you're in any position to make me mad now. Do you?" He chuckles to himself.

Wiping the tears from my eyes, I gaze up at him. He's bending over, pulling me by my shirt, making me sit in front of him.

He kneels, and then rolls back on his heels, placing his hands on my thighs. He starts to rub them roughly.

I take a deep breath through my mouth, trying my best not to gag. Then I look into his dark, evil eyes.

Exhaling through my nose, I begin to speak, but I can't seem to make it sound harsh or dominating. It's more like a whisper with a slight whimper, and I want to kick myself right now for being unable to get myself under control. "Alec, what are you doing?" I wipe my nose on my hands, and then continue, "Why are you doing this?"

He's breathing heavily, and his eyes flutter closed, only to reopen slowly. His tongue jots out to swipe his bottom lip, then seductively, his eyes lower to my lips, and I swallow hard.

He leans in, and I jerk back, confused. Then his lips part, and I realize what he's about to try and do. The fucker's trying to kiss me!

I quickly pull back, banging my head forcefully, yet again, on the stone wall behind me, making me cry out.

His eye's flash open as he grabs my bound hands, pulling them forward, towards him, wrapping his arms around my body. As his hands rub vigorously up and down my spine, he places wet kisses on my forehead, shushing me once more. He whispers huskily in my ear, "Everything will be all right, Eddy."

Shoving him away, I yell, "ALEC, STOP! WHAT THE FUCK! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

His breath hitches, and he stares at me with a snarl on his face. Wrapping his hand around my throat, he brings me towards him. With his lips on my ear, he whispers," Eddy, you don't get to tell me to stop. You don't get a choice, sweet pea."

As I try to swallow, unable to do so with his hand wrapped tightly around my throat, silent tears roll down my cheek.

He stands, slowly retrieving a duffel bag from the side of the bed. Reaching in, he finds a bottle of water. He removes the cap then puts his hand under my chin, lifting it. He squeezes my cheeks together roughly and painfully so my lips part, then he starts to pour water into my mouth. Too fast! I can't swallow quickly enough. I'm gagging and wheezing, and still he pours. I try and stop the flow with my tongue, making it cascade over my lips and down my chin, where the cold liquid soaks into my shirt.

I start to kick frantically. I'm pulling and pushing, squirming and ducking – anything to break his hold on me. I turn my head from side to side, trying to stop him from emptying the whole bottle into my mouth and nose. I'm gagging and choking, and still he continues. Then with one rough whoosh, he releases me, pushing me back; and once again I'm lying flat on my back gasping for air.

Straightening himself and eying me suspiciously, he bends to empty the bag, retrieving a few more bottles of water, a towel, lube... What the fuck! I panic. My breath is caught in my throat. My heart skips, while my body shudders. Lube? Why lube? Why would he need lube? Hell fucking no! Never. Not today, not ever.

As my mind races, my heart's pounding and my body tremble's. I'm pulled up short, cause the last thing I see being pulled from the bag is my phone. My fucking cell phone! Now with all thoughts of lube leaving me, I concentrate on the phone – how to get it, how to get to use it, how to distract him long enough to steal it back.

While I'm wracking my brain, I notice, from the corner of my eye, that Alec is removing his jacket; and once again I swallow hard, rolling myself into a ball as tightly as I possibly can. I'm trembling and whimpering, praying to all that is holy that I make it though this. But I don't think I will. I don't think I can. I don't think I have the strength to survive.

The thought of him touching me… The thought of his hands, lips, or whatever the fuck else he has in mind coming near me, makes me sick to my stomach. I taste bile again. I feel my throat contract, and the sweat runs down the side of my face as my eyes start to tear.

I have to fucking stop this! And I have to stop this now!

I will never make it though this. I will never be able to survive this. I will never be able to face my Jasper again.

I'm crying uncontrollably.

How the fucks do I face Jasper?

How will I ever be able to look at him?

My chest heaves as my throat burns.

How will he look at me? Knowing…

Will he still love me? Knowing…

Will he still want me? Knowing…

Will WE be able to get over this? Knowing…

I can see the hurt in his eyes and the pain on his face. Knowing that I'm no-longer his alone that someone else has taken me… Knowing that when he touches me, he wasn't the only one…

It will kill him.

It will rip him apart.

And in the end it will finally destroy him totally.

The thought makes me cry harder. Grabbing at my hair and tugging on my roots, I wanting to feel the pain. I have to distract myself from what's about to happen. I'm shaking, trembling, shivering. I feel faint, sick, disgusted. I can't do this. I want to die.

And softy I whimper as tears silently roll down my cheeks, "A..Al..Ale..Alec, please."

He kneels before me, wiping my hair back from my face, and I try so hard not to pull away, but I can't. He senses my discomfort, he feels the tension.

And he smiles cruelly to himself.

"Eddy baby, there's no need to beg. I'll take care of you. I'll make you happy. You don't need to worry about that, Eddy dear. Don't you fret, my love? Everything will turn out just fine."

With his hand still in my hair, I watch fearfully as he slowly unbuttons his shirt with the other, painfully taking his time, smiling madly at me and shushing my cries from time to time… wiping away the loose tears from my cheeks that he alone has afflicted upon me.

I'm dying inside. My body stops its squirming. My fight is gone. My mind is blank. And my heart has stilled.

I finally come to the conclusion that my body, soul, mind, and heart are grieving the loss of my life, the loss of my love, and the loss of my future.

I sense Alec standing up. He removes his shirt, sliding it down his shoulders and arms, and letting it fall to the dirty floor. And all I can do is stare and cry in disbelief. This is it. It's over. Life as I know it will never be the same.

Looking up at him, I tremble despairingly, anxiously, uncontrollably. But he doesn't notice or care. His eyes hood heavily and his breath becomes labored as he reaches for his belt buckle, starting to release it from the confines of the loop - and all I can do is watch. I watch from afar, like an out of body experience. It's not me. I'm not here. This isn't happening. I wipe my face again as my lashes stick to my lids, unable to absorb the amount of offending liquid that gushes from my eyes.

"Please," I sob.

"Alec, please don't do this," I plead.

He pulls his belt from its loops while undoing his pants button, and then stops. He casually places his hands on his hips and takes a deep breath. "Eddy baby, don't be sad. Be happy. You should be overjoyed! We will finally be together, and I'll be able to show you how much I love you! How much I worship you! How much I've longed to make you mine!"

"I don't want this, Alec. I need to go home! You need to release me now!" I grasp a couple quick breaths. "You don't think you'll get away with this, do you? You know Jasp..."

And suddenly my words are cut short, as I feel the burn and sting on my cheek, and my face hits the mattress with a thud.

"DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE EDDY! DON'T YOU EVER MENTION HIS NAME AGAIN! AND IF HE LOVES YOU SO MUCH, WHERE THE HELL IS HE? WHY ISN'T HE HERE? TELL ME WHY THE HELL HASN'T HE COME LOOKING FOR YOU IF YOU'RE SO FUCKING SPECIAL TO HIM?"

He's panting and pacing, shaking his fists in the air. Then pulling on his hair, he chants something quietly to himself.

"Alec, STOP! You can't... You have to let me go... Jasp..." And unexpectedly, my body lifts from the mattress as a heavy kick connects with my ribs. I hit the floor with a thud. Then another kick, another kick, and another, until every part of my body is screaming in pain. I'm rolling in the dirt, clutching my sides with my elbows. I try to use my hand to protect my chest, my legs. But finally I pull them to my head and face as he continues to kick and scream at me.

"WHAT THE FUCK, EDDY? WHY ARE YOU FIGHTING ME ON THIS! YOU KNOW YOU WANT ME. YOU KNOW I'M BETTER FOR YOU THAN HE IS. NO ONE WILL EVER LOVE YOU THE WAY I CAN. HE'S NO GOOD FOR YOU! HE'S A FUCKING BAR OWNER! WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING? I'M SO MUCH BETTER THAN HIM! I CAN GIVE YOU SO MUCH MORE...

He turns away for a moment to catch his breath, then starts again: AND THEN A BABY! A FUCKING BABY, EDDY? WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING? YOU COULD DO SO MUCH BETTER. YOU COULD HAVE SO MUCH MORE. YOU CAN HAVE ME, RIGHT NOW, NO STRINGS ATTACHED.

He's panting. His chest is heaving as he places his hands on his knees. His face is flushed as his hair hangs in his face covered in tears and sweat. Then without warning, he pounces towards me.

He starts grabbing at me. He's pulling on me. His nails sink into my skin, his fingers pulling on my hair. I feel his teeth on my shoulders and neck, biting and sucking. He's crazily tugging on my clothes. I hear ripping and tearing.

Although every bone burns, every joint hurts, and every cell screams, I start frantically kicking and punching, bringing my bound hands down on his head and shoulders, wanting to connect, wanting to cause pain.

He's laying his weight on top of me. He's pushing down onto me. I feel his erection through my pants, and I gag loudly. He's grinding mercilessly and panting heavily, and all I want to do is kick his fucking ass!

His fingers slip under my waistband as I struggle against him, my legs kicking like crazy. I push on his chest as he tries his best to kiss my lips, his tongue lapping at my cheeks, eyes, and down my neck and chin.

His foul breath makes me sick to my stomach. The dampness from his tongue sinking into my pores makes his stench linger on my skin, and the urge to puke is overwhelming. But I shake it off suddenly when I feel his cold hand creep down my back between my boxers and skin, feeling his dirty ass nails sink into my flesh, trying to cup my butt cheeks.

He has my scrubs pushed down over my thighs and my shirt pulled up over my stomach, tucked under my armpits. As he reaches between us, trying to pull down his zipper, squirming around with the intentions of releasing himself from the confines of his pants, I lose it. My heart pounds loudly as my head spins. I can't catch a breath - his weight is too heavy as he becomes more determined with every thrust. I'm starting to weaken as his fury makes him stronger.

He's grinding harder. His breathing is becoming labored as he reaches for my boxers, yanking on the waistband, trying his best to pull them over my hips.

I bring my bound hands between us, grasping at my clothes, pulling them to me anxiously. I nervously plead with him to stop - begging for him to end this and release me.

He won't listen. He doesn't hear me. He just keeps grinding and pushing panting and pulling. And as his body squirmed then tensed, I froze, knowing what the hell was happening. The fucker was ejaculating. And he did. All over my body and clothes.

So I did the only thing I could. I puked. All over both of us.

Pushing my hands into his face, I start screaming uncontrollably, trying desperately to bring my knee to his groin. Once I connected, he rolled off me, his bare back hitting the dirt floor, and he lay there panting and spent... Fucker!

Rolling onto my other side, facing the wall, I start to cry. My body trembles and convulses. My hands start shaking as I bring them to my face, wiping away my tears and sweat. Chills overtake me, causing my body to shiver, and I just lay there, sobbing deeply, like a fucking two-year-old.

I hear him rise to his feet, sucking air through his nose in disgust. I sense him reaching for the towel to wipe himself off. Then picking his shirt of the floor, he shakes it free of dirt and dust. He's mumbling something under his breath, but I can't make it out; and I really don't fucking care right now.

And then he whispers "Eddy, I..."

"Don't fucking say anything, Alec. Don't fucking talk to me. You know what you're doing is wrong. Its way beyond wrong. Now leave me the fuck alone. I can't stand your sorry ass."

He kneels at my back, reaching out to touch me. The moment I feel his finger tips, I flinch from his touch as he pulls back, gasping in surprise.

"I don't want to hurt you, Eddy. I just want to be with you and you alone. I don't mean to cause you pain."

Twisting my head to look over my shoulder, I glare at him in disgust, feeling the anger grow in my chest. I start to yell:

"WELL TOO FUCKING LATE, ALEC! BECAUSE THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT YOU'VE DONE! YOU'VE HURT ME! YOU'VE CAUSED ME PAIN! AND IF IT KILLS ME, YOU WILL NEVER BE MINE ALONE. BECAUSE I WILL NEVER BE YOURS! I AM JASPER'S! AND ONLY HIS!"

And once again, in one quick move, like lightning He's on his feet. I turn to face the wall, rolling into a tight ball, bracing myself for what I know is coming.

His first kick connects with the bottom of my spine. His first punch strikes the side of my face.

At first I cried out, letting loose a sharp, ripping scream. But after a few moments, a terrible pain shot through my head. I see a searing white light, and then everything goes black. The pain is gone, and I feel my whole body go limp. I embrace the nothingness.

I wake drowsily, and slowly bring my hands up to my face, feeling my swollen lips and eyes. I whimper sickly. I breathe slowly, trying to calm my nerves. And suddenly I tense. He's still here! I feel him behind me. I hear him breathe, and my stomach turns once more.

He kneels beside me, holding the water bottle to my lips. I eye him warily, as his eyes close slowly. Then he holds the bottle closer to my mouth again, this time letting me sip.

After a few moments, I turn my back to him again, and with a deep sigh, I close my eyes and pray for death to take me.

Then he speaks plaintively, "I promise it will get better, Eddy. I promise you will learn to love me, sweet pea."

Without even turning, I start to speak harshly. "Alec, you can do what you want with me. You can take what you want from me. But as long as I live, I will never love you. I will never be yours. My heart, soul, and body belong to one person and one person only."

I hear him stand. He grabs his jacket, and I assume puts it on. As he turns to leave, he puts his hand on my thigh, and I tense and shiver.

"Eddy, we will make this work. You will learn how to love me, no matter how long it takes. Soon we will be out of here. This sorry ass town will be nothing but a memory. We will have a new start – a new life – and we will be happy; the happiest you've ever been."

With that, he left. I heard the faint pulling and sticking of the door that I had heard earlier, not knowing if it was today, yesterday, or a few days ago, having lost all sense of time.

Lying on my side again, I stare at the wall, trying as best I can to pull my clothes back together. My ribs hurt, my chest hurts, and my God damn head is pounding. Figuring I've done my best, I lay my head back down, hoping to soothe my aching heart as silent tears roll down my face.

I hear him fussing around, moving shit, talking to himself - and right now, I couldn't care less. He can do what he wants. He can say what he wants. Nothing is ever going to change. He is never going to have me or own me if I have anything to do with it.

And as I'm lying there, falling deeper and deeper into despair and depression, every breath I take fucking hurts. There is a constant wheeze with every respiration. I know I have a few broken ribs, if not other bones, and I wouldn't be surprised if I had a concussion. If my stomach is any indication, with its cramping and growling, I feel the need for food and nourishment is going to be a problem soon.

So letting out one last sad sigh, I slowly close my eyes and relax my nerves. As I drift into unconsciousness and unawareness, my heart and brain decide to team up and torment my subconscious. Lightly playing in the background, I hear my song – well, not my song - our song – Jasper's and mine. The beautiful tones of Norah Jones fill my ears, reminding me of our wedding, and all the beautiful lovemaking nights that followed.

And as a lonely tear slides down the side of my face, and I shut my eyes tight, trying to hold back even more from falling. My peace is shattered with the fucking door being pulled off its God damn hinges, and knowing it's him, I tense. I don't move. I refuse to acknowledge his existence.

Then my breath hitches and my heart palpitates. Like music to my ears, I hear the most beautiful softly whispered sound that God has ever let enter my life. It's tired and pained, but full of love and hope, and my eyes flutter closed to enable me to drown in it.

"Edward, sweetness, its Jasper."

I sigh, and surrender to unconsciousness once more.

Thanks for reading guys and you know what to do cause I just love reading them so please review.