Buffy

I have to stay still, pretend to be asleep. I want her to stay, but I know she thinks she has to go. If I ask and she says no again, it'll be too much to handle. I just have to hope she survives out there and comes back.

As the door clicks closed, she finally let's go of the breath she had been holding. The tears quickly follow. I know something changed for her, I saw it. I felt her crying, even though she was trying to hide. I wanted to know if we could have had something and now I do. I'm sure now she's not who I thought she was, she's so much more.

Buffy waits 15 minutes before rising and hurriedly begins getting dressed. She has no idea what time it is but figured it'd be best if she gets to her own room before anyone else wakes up. Exiting Faith's room, she trys to quietly close the door behind her. Only to be greeted by Willow with a confused look on her face. Well, shit.

"Hi." Buffy is surprised at the timid sound of her own voice.

Willow is fully clothed and staring at Buffy. An expression that Buffy can't figure out on her face.

"Uh.. yeah hi. They woke me up to let Faith out." Willow replies, smirking at the disheveled blonde slayer.

"Oh, guess that's where she went. Did she… say anything before she left?" Buffy is trying not to appear too worried about Faith, though she isn't entirely sure why.

Willow shakes her head.

"Do you think she's going to be ok out there? You didn't explain what it's like."

"Let's go somewhere else to talk, don't want to wake everyone up. Also, your pants are on inside out." Willow expression is oddly blank as she says this.

"Oh.. yeah... I.." Buffy looks down at her pants and groans, too embarrassed to notice how oddly her friend is behaving.

Willow only turns leading them back to the room they initially met in. There is a large conference table with chairs, but there are also a few couches. The pair sits on one of these. Each huddled against their own side. She seems so different now, harder. I know there must be a lot of things she isn't telling me.

"What's it like out there?" Buffy asks once they are settled.

"It's bad. There is kind of a permanent night, almost all of Sunnydale has been burnt to the ground. I don't really know what the rest of the world is like. There hasn't been any way to communicate in a long time."

"Where do you think Faith will try to go?" Buffy really wishes she had tried harder to talk to Faith. Even if she couldn't convince her to stay, maybe she could have figured out her plan.

Willow's face flashes anger for a second, but she seems to compose herself. "I can't even imagine. Maybe she'd try to find the Mayor's people. I don't know if there are any of them left. We put a tracker in her gear, and there will also be a small group of soldiers following her for as long as they can." Buffy tries to keep herself from arguing about Faith going to the Mayor.

"She's going to know she's being followed."

"Yeah, probably. But maybe she won't find the tracker. It's the best we could do on short notice." Willow shrugged, "She is well armed and has rations to last her awhile. Most of the real danger isn't in Sunnydale anymore anyway. The demons figured out quickly that if they left town, there was almost no one to oppose them. So there was no reason for them to stay. There's still the occasional issue with new things creeping out of the Hellmouth, but we have protections in place for that."

"I'm so sorry, Willow. I can't even begin to imagine what things have been like for you. How long have you been living down here?"

"About a year." Willow frowns. "It's not so bad in here, at least we have everything we need."

"Is there anyone else I know down here?"

Willow pauses to think. "No, I don't think so. There's no one left from Sunnydale high."

"Are you in charge of all this?"

"Basically, yeah. After you... left, I had to get serious with the magics." Willow looks away, unable to keep eye contact.

"What happened?"

"I had to do some things.." Willow pauses, scrunching up her face. ".. in order to keep any of us alive. Not everything I did worked out exactly how I would have liked."

Buffy frowns. This is all my fault. Willow wouldn't have had to do anything if I hadn't screwed things up so badly. She looks so tired. I've never seen her looking so worn out. "I'm sure you only did what you had to do."

"You're bound to hear things, things you might not want to believe."

"We've all done things we wish we hadn't." Buffy looked down at her hands, she was finding it hard not to imagine a blood-covered knife there. If she hadn't tried to kill Faith that night, then none of this would be happening.

"But that's just it. I don't wish I hadn't done these things. I wish I hadn't been driven to do them, but they had to be done. There was no other choice." This must be why she seems so different. She's had to close herself off to be able to make these terrible choices.

"I believe you only did what you thought was right. I'm sorry I wasn't here to keep this burden off of you, but I'm here now, and I'll do my best to keep you from having to do anything you'll regret ever again." Buffy is a little startled by the total lack of emotion from her friend. She's telling me these things like they happened to someone else. I wish I could really understand everything that's been happening.

"It's cute that you think you can do anything for Willow. She's far more powerful than you can even imagine. She could crush you like a bug if she wanted to."

Buffy jumps to her feet, scowling.

"It's really hard to take you seriously wearing those pajamas." Angel stands in the room, hands on his hips, smirking at Buffy.

"Don't engage with him. He's just going to make you doubt yourself." Willow cautions, not moving from her relaxed position on the couch.

I know she's right, this isn't Angel. But could there be any truth to what he says? I just can't believe that Willow could be that dangerous. Just last week she was barely able to float pencils. Buffy sighs. I need to stop thinking like that, three years have passed for her. I have no idea who she is now, no idea what she's capable of.

"Well, I already know these pj's are pretty silly. But they are comfy, and you saved them for me. So I don't care what anyone says." Buffy smiles triumphantly at Willow, seeing a small smile creep into her face.

"You do know they're inside out? Right? I guess my little show last night got you and Faith going after all." The First as Angel grins, enjoying needling the blonde slayer.

Buffy fights the blush that's creeping into her face. With the situation in the world, what she and Faith did last night doesn't seem so embarrassing. I have no reason to be ashamed. There is nothing wrong with what we did or why we did it.

"I can't believe you let her leave like that. You know she wanted you to ask her to stay? She waited outside the door, just hoping you'd chase after her. But you didn't, you just laid there and let her leave. And now she's all alone. And you can be sure I know exactly where she is. We're going to make a great team." Buffy is starting to tremble under Angel's fierce gaze.

Shit, there's no way what he said isn't true. Of course, he knows where she is, and he'll go after her. He can do all sorts of things to torment her out there on her own. I should never have let her go. Buffy's eyes furrow in sadness.

"Don't listen to him." Willow's voice is stern and more than a little scary. Buffy looks at Willow now, hoping to gain strength from her friend. Instead, she's terrified at what she sees. Willow's eyes are pitch black, and she's rising, heading towards the apparition of Angel.

"If you do anything to her, you will regret it. I warned you what would happen if you didn't leave us alone."

Fear briefly crosses Angel's face, but he quickly replaces it with his boyish smile. "See, I told you. She's far more powerful than you can even imagine." He gives Buffy a last meaningful glance and vanishes in a flash of light.

Once he's gone Willow immediately calms down. Her eyes return to normal, and she retreats to the couch once more. She looks completely drained of energy.

Ok... Now, what do I do? I want to know more about that threat. Does that mean they could be doing more to fight evil, but they're choosing not to? I need to talk to Giles. Maybe he can explain more about what's going on.

There's a light knock at the door, and a blonde woman peers through the opening. "Willow? Are you ok? What happened?" The girl runs to Willow and wraps her in a tight embrace. Willow quickly falls into her arms and begins sobbing.

"The first was here, he said some things," Buffy replies, not sure who this woman is.

The blonde woman scowls, but then looks at Buffy and her eyes widen. "You must be Buffy. I've seen you a few times before.. but you know, not really. I'm Tara." She's moved positions, so she is now leaning against the couch and cradling Willow in her arms. Willow has fallen asleep. "Did Willow mention me?"

"No, she didn't. I get the feeling there's a lot she hasn't told me. Is she going to be ok?"

"She'll be ok. She's just tired. It took a lot out of her bringing you back here." Tara is stroking Willow's hair and looking down at her lovingly.

"Are you a witch too?"

"I am, not quite the same way that Willow is. How much do you know about magic?"

"Not a lot. When I left, she was barely floating pencils. Now I guess she can do a whole lot more than that." Buffy looks at the pair thoughtfully. "How long have you two known each other?"

"We met freshman year of college."

"And you're... uh... a couple?" Buffy asks nervously, not sure why she should be nervous about asking that now.

"Is that a problem?" Tara raises an eyebrow as she looks at Buffy more closely. "No, I guess it isn't."

"What? What do you mean?"

"Sorry, I can read certain things about people. I try not to do it too often, but you were kinda screaming at me. Not that it's your fault."

"Oh." Buffy pauses looking away from Tara. "Wait, what did you see exactly?"

Tara only smiles in response. "I'm not sure it's the right time to talk about it."

Buffy looks down at Willow. Maybe Tara can answer some other questions. "She told the first that she warned him what would happen if he didn't leave us alone. What did that mean? Is there more that we could be doing?"

Tara's brow furrows. "She said that? I'm not sure what that means. I know she keeps things from me… I'm not included in the meetings."

"Who is?"

"It's mostly Willow and Riley. He's the leader of the military guys now."

"What about Giles?"

Tara's brow furrows again, and she looks away. "She told you Giles was here?"

"I saw him. When we were first brought here." OK, what the hell is going on? He was here. I know he was. Maybe I was a little distracted, and it was weird that he didn't really say anything to me. I should have been paying more attention. I still haven't figure out how to not be so self-involved.

"Giles is... not here. I'm not sure who you saw, but it wasn't him."

"Is he alive?"

"As far as I know he is." Tara's face is scrunched up in confusion.

"What aren't you telling me?"

"Tara?" Willow is stirring now

"I'm here, baby. I've got you." Buffy watches in confusion and frustration as the witches comfort each other.